心灵鸡汤【完结】_派派后花园

用户中心 游戏论坛 社区服务
发帖 回复
倒序阅读 最近浏览的帖子最近浏览的版块
« 返回列表
阅读：7528 回复：50

[Articles Enjoy] 心灵鸡汤【完结】

 刷新数据 楼层直达
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 20楼  发表于: 2014-09-01 0
Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
温情一幕:丹麦长颈鹿向临终管理员吻别

This is the touching moment a giraffe bid a sad farewell to a dying worker who had spent his entire adult life cleaning the animal's enclosure at a Dutch zoo.
荷兰一动物园中上演了温情一幕：维修工终其一生都在动物园为动物们清理窝棚，在他即将离世之际，长颈鹿仿佛感受到了悲伤、献出给饲养员的告别之吻。

The 54-year-old maintenance worker, who has terminal cancer, asked that his hospital bed be wheeled into the giraffe enclosure at the zoo.
这位54岁的维修工已经癌症晚期，他请求把自己的病床带到动物园的长颈鹿生活区。

In a heartbreaking scene, one of the giraffes then approached the man, known only as Mario, and gave him a tender kiss goodbye.
在一幕感人的画面中，一只长颈鹿走进这位名叫马里奥的工人，然后送上了温柔的告别之吻。

‘(It was) a very special moment. You saw him beaming.’
“这一刻非常奇妙，你可以看见马里奥满脸笑容。”

Mario, who's mentally disabled, then asked for a moment to say goodbye to his colleagues at the zoo, where he spent the vast majority of his adult life.
马里奥先天智力低于常人，他在动物园工作了大半生。当时他请求和动物园的同事告别。

‘It was very nice that we were able to work on the last wish of this man,' Mr Veldboer said.
Veldboer 先生说：“我们很高兴能够通过我们的努力满足他的最后心愿。”

The Ambulance Wish Foundation is a charity whose volunteers specialise in taking non-mobile terminally ill patients fulfill their dying wishes.
救护车许愿基金会是一个慈善组织，其志愿者专注于帮助疾病晚期、行动不便的病人实现最后的愿望。

The organization was founded in 2007 by Veldboer, who also drives the company's fleet of ambulances to take patients wherever they wish to go.
这一组织由Veldboer在2007年建立的，同时他还是基金会救护车车队的司机，载着病人到所有想去的地方。

Last year the charity took a terminally-ill 86-year-old man back to his farm in Holland, to say goodbye to his ponies.
去年，这一慈善组织曾帮助疾病晚期的86岁老人回到自己在荷兰的农场，和自己的小马告别。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 21楼  发表于: 2014-09-01 0
Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
时间都去哪儿了 年纪越大越觉时光飞逝

As you get older, it feels like time tends to move faster. As Dan Ariely explains over at The Wall Street Journal, we tend to fall into familiar routines as we age and that makes time move quickly.
虽然你年纪越来越大，时间似乎也越走越快。就像作者丹·艾瑞里在《华尔街日报》撰文解释的一样：我们的岁数越是增长，生活就越倾向于变得一成不变。所以，时间过得更快了。

We perceive time something like a stack of memories, so the less new experiences you have, the less likely you are to fill in those memories with interesting things.
我们感知中的时间就像是回忆的堆叠。所以新鲜的经历越少，你就越不可能在那些回忆中填满有趣的事情。

Time does go by (or, more accurately, it feels as if time is going by) more quickly the older we get.
我们越长大，时间确实会过得越快（或者更准确地说，我们确实会感觉时间过得越快）。

In the first few years of our lives, anything we sense or do is brand new, and many of our experiences are unique, so they remain firmly in our memories. But as the years go by, we encounter fewer and fewer new experiences—both because we have already accomplished a lot and because we become slaves to our daily routines.
在我们人生的最初几年里，我们感觉到的一切，所做的一切都是全新的。而且，我们的许多经历都很独特，独特到足以牢牢留在我们的记忆中。但是随着时间的流逝，我们能遇到的全新经历越来越少了。这是由于我们不仅已经完成了许多事情，而且已经习惯于像奴隶般遵守自己的生活习惯。

For example, try to remember what happened to you every day last week，chances are that nothing extraordinary happened, so you will be hard-pressed to recall the specific things you did on Monday, Tuesday, etc.
举例来说，请你努力回想一下上周每天你都做了些什么事情。什么特别的事情也没有发生的概率很大，所以你会觉得回忆自己在周一、周二等日子里具体做了哪些事情非常困难。

What can we do about this? Maybe we need some new app that will encourage us to try out new experiences, point out things we've never done, recommend dishes we've never tasted and suggest places we've never been. Such an app could make our lives more varied, prod us to try new things, slow down the passage of time and increase our happiness.
对此，我们该怎么办呢？或许我们需要一些新的应用来鼓励我们尝试新经历、指出我们还没做过的事情、给我们推荐没有尝试过的菜和没有去过的地方。这样的应用可以让我们的生活更加丰富，刺激我们去尝试新鲜的事物，让时光放慢脚步并且让我们更加快乐。

Until such an app arrives, try to do at least one new thing every week.It's not too difficult to push yourself to do new things.
在这种应用被发明出来以前，每周至少尝试一件新的事物吧。逼自己去尝试新事物并不是一件非常困难的事情！

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 22楼  发表于: 2014-09-01 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
爸爸为儿子精心拍摄土豆人偶婚纱照

As relationships go, theirs is surely one of the most enduring.
就人与人之间的感情而言，下面这对父子俩的感情肯定是最恒久的一种。

Now Mr and Mrs Potato Head have had their nuptials captured on film by an inventive wedding photographer in a bid to explain his work to his young son.
一位有才的婚纱摄影师拍摄了一组土豆夫妇（出自《玩具总动员》系列的角色）的婚礼大片，他这么做是为了给小儿子解释自己的工作是什么。

Chris Thornton, 34, was left at a loss when his three-year old son Cole asked what he did for a living.
34岁的克里斯·桑顿有个3岁的可爱儿子科尔，但当儿子问起自己是做什么工作时他懵了，不知该怎样给这么小的孩子解释。

As he was a big fan of Toy Story, Mr Thornton decided to put together some shots of the characters in the traditional wedding photograph poses.
因为儿子非常喜爱《玩具总动员》，所以桑顿先生决定用电影中的角色摆出传统婚礼的造型，然后拍摄这些场景的照片。

The result will delight fans of the famous Disney Pixar films as it shows all of the characters in wedding dresses and top hats.
照片的拍摄结果会让喜欢《玩具总动员》系列的粉丝很兴奋：电影中所有的角色都身着结婚礼服、佩戴礼帽隆重出场。

Mr Thornton's mother made the outfits and her house played venue for the cartoon festivities.
桑顿先生的老母手工制作了卡通人物的礼服，同时把她的房子当做土豆人偶的婚礼背景。

She even played prop assistant by pouring a watering can to provide a back drop of rain for some sparkling backdrops.
为了营造出雨滴的晶莹背景，她甚至还在儿子拍照的时候帮忙用水罐洒水。

One of his most popular shots in the five years he's been photographing weddings features Buzz Lightyear holding the brides shoes.
在桑顿先生最受欢迎的一张照片中，巴斯光年（《玩具总动员》中的动画人物）手托新娘鞋子。

Mr Thornton, from Leeds, said: “Cole's first big love was Toy Story. It was one of the first things that he would sit and watch for longer than 15 minutes. And of course I love it too. Cole would always ask when I'm heading out of the house if I'm going to take pictures at a wedding. ”
来自英国利兹市的桑顿先生说：“科尔最爱《玩具总动员》了！这是最先能让他坐下来看15分钟以上的东西，当然了我也很喜欢看。每次我出门的时候科尔就会一直问我，我是不是要出去拍婚纱照了。”

“Although he didn't really understand what this was or wasn't at all interested in any of the photos. I thought I'd try and shoot a wedding that he'd be really interested in and use my job to make him smile.”
虽然他实际上根本不懂婚纱摄影是什么，或者对我所拍摄的婚纱照片中的任何一张都不感兴趣，我也会努力拍一组他感兴趣的婚纱照给他看，让我的工作给他带来微笑。

“Since then he's actually got his own little camera and did take some shots at a recent wedding I was invited to.”
“自从那次以后，他有了一个自己的小相机。最近我被邀请参加一个婚礼，他还跟我去拍了几张照片。“

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 23楼  发表于: 2014-09-02 0
Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
纸上的智慧

Chinese reluctance to read deeply underlines the nation's recent departure from the era of subsistence and its current obsession with affluence.On a flight from Frankfurt to Shanghai, an Indian engineer noticed row after row of Chinese passengers deep into their iPads, playing games or watching movies. None was doing any reading.Meng Shamei, the Chinese name of this engineer, posted his or her observation online and got a tidal wave of responses, most of which corroborated his or her view.I have to admit I have not done my due diligence to verify the identity of this person. There have been frequent stories of Chinese posing as foreigners to give a semblance of objectivity to their criticism of China. The title "Harvard professor" has been used or rather, abused, so often it has turned into something of a joke.To even a casual observer, what Meng wrote was not surprising. Another posting a few years ago by a Chinese passenger noticed the difference between first class and regular class: Those sitting in first class tend to read while those in regular class play games.
在一架从法兰克福飞往上海的航班上，一名印度工程师发现一排又一排的中国乘客都在埋头用苹果平板电脑玩游戏或者看电影，没有人在读书。工程师的中文名叫孟莎美，他/她把所见所想发布到网上，收到无数回复，大都印证了他/她的看法。我得承认自己没有尽职调查这个人的身份。为了能更客观地批判中国，曾出现很多中国人冒充老外的故事。人们滥用“哈佛教授”的头衔，以致于它成了笑话一般。其实稍微观察下，孟莎美写的现象也见怪不怪。几年前，有个中国乘客留意到头等舱和经济舱的区别，并放到了网上：那些坐头等舱的乘客往往在阅读，而经济舱乘客在玩游戏。就我而言，最大的震惊是，对中国年轻一代影响深远的年轻作家韩寒被记者问及其阅读习惯时，他说他只看杂志。还附上了一张显示他书架上很少书的图片作证明。在我们问“为什么中国人不阅读”前，还是我来揭晓吧，这是最常见的回击“我们阅读啊，只是不像老一代那样阅读而已。我们可以通过现代玩意来更方便地阅读。”

For me, the biggest shock came when Han Han, the young writer with enormous influence on China's youth, was asked by a reporter about his reading habits and he answered that he read only magazines. As if to show some proof, the accompanying photo revealed very few books on his bookshelf.Before we get to "Why Chinese do not read", I'll reveal the spoiler, which is the most frequent defense. "We read. We just do not read in the same way as the old generations do. We rely on modern gadgets for faster access."It is true that you cannot claim that only content on a printed page is knowledge. Anything that's printed can be displayed digitally. There are millions of books available in digital form. And true electronic books can incorporate sound and video, thus enhancing the reading experience. Print is going the way of dinosaurs, many forecast. Even if they don't vanish completely, books will become a niche item a la long-playing records.To those who believe they can get anything and everything from the Web, I'll hereby add my two cents' worth: Yes, you can, but you won't do it. I download thousands of books, but I use them for research, a sort of personal database for specific information. I've also noticed my friends and colleagues read fiction only on their tablets. Simply because a medium is capable of something does not mean people or a significant number of them will swarm to it for that purpose.
我们不能说只有纸质书上的内容才是知识。任何纸质内容都可以数字化地显示出来，无数纸质书都有电子版本。电子书还可以配上声音和视频，从而更享受阅读过程，这都没错。很多人都预测印刷业和恐龙走在同一条道上——都会逐渐消失。即使纸质书籍不会完全消，也会随着时间变成小众产品。对于那些认为可以从互联网获取任何信息的人，我想说：是的，你可以，但是你不会的。我下载了成千上万本电子书作为个人资料库用于搜索特定信息。我也发现我的朋友和同事们都只用平板电脑看小说。一个媒介具备某种功能并不代表大家会为这个功能蜂拥而来。我认为纸质工具书更易被其电子版取代，而受中国文人喜爱的散文集是最不可能被代替的。现在我不会引用关于中国人阅读量的数据。当这个的数据与前几代人或者发达国家相比显得苍白时，事实可能更悲剧。我的出版商（我和中国几家出版商有合作）告诉我中国的畅销书大多数还不足以上畅销清单。原因是：它们是教科书或者补充阅读材料，换句话说，这些书都是学生不得不读或者买的书。那我们来对比下中国和纽约时报发布的畅销书清单吧。纽约时报的清单中包含一些严肃的书籍，尤其是关于历史、名人自传，而中国的清单意义不大。在机场的书店转一圈，你会发现更加无望：几乎都是那些富人或者声称有致富秘诀的人关于如何致富的书。

I believe reference books are most easily replaced by their digital versions and the kind of essay collections popular among China's literati are the most unlikely to make the transition.Now, I'm not going to cite statistics about Chinese consumption of books. While they invariably paint a bleak picture compared with previous generations or advanced countries, the truth could be even bleaker. My publishers (I work with several publishing houses in China) told me that most of the best-sellers in China would not even make the popular list. The reason: They are textbooks or supplement reading material, in other words, books that students are forced to read, or rather, forced to buy.So, let's compare China's best-seller list with that of the New York Times. While the latter has a mix of serious books, especially about history, and celebrity memoirs, the former is almost totally fluff. A walk through an airport bookstore will bring you more doom and gloom: mostly how-to-get-rich titles written by those who've done it or who claim to have the secret recipe.On top of that, there are buyers of books in China who decorate their rooms with wall-to-wall tomes but never bother to open the pages. As a result, a cottage industry has appeared that churns out thick volumes that have nothing between the covers, perfect for decoration.Yes, people do read in China to enrich their bank accounts, but not to enrich themselves holistically. Sure, this is a trend, which means it does not apply to everyone. The terms "fragmentary reading" or "light reading" are efforts to encapsulate this phenomenon of a nation whose people have only recently unfettered the shackles of poverty and have not found the need to elevate themselves onto a higher plane of enlightenment and enrichment. Not yet.One reads classics such as Confucius' Analects or Shakespeare not to pass examinations or provide grist for the water-cooler mill, but to absorb nutrients from the wealth shared by humanity and to make ourselves better people.However, it would be unfair to compare the current generation with their ancestors. In antiquity, the ability to read effectively divided people into haves and have-nots. It became a channel through which a few from the disenfranchised classes moved up the social ladder. As a whole, the vast majority remained illiterate. As the benefits of basic education envelop the entire Chinese population, the stumbling block for this most basic level of reading has been removed. Now, it's up to each individual to decide what kind of information or knowledge he or she is willing to pursue. A school or a teacher can demand that you read what is mandatory, but unless you design a comprehensive curriculum that incorporates the wealth-enriching and the soul-enriching, you'll probably push those "useless" books down to the bottom of your priority list.The computer age, with its unlimited data-crunching capability, has unleashed a treasure trove of information. For someone long shielded from data and information, the rawness and liveliness can be spellbinding. But it takes tons of information to be distilled into knowledge.In our society there is an undercurrent of skepticism and aversion toward knowledge, which in the old days was spoon-fed with little room left for questioning. People, therefore, want to be closer to the source and conduct their own little investigation or analysis, which sometimes leads to new revelations. As a result, the pendulum has swung from the end of blind acceptance of everything printed to the other end of DIY scrutiny of every piece of data. I have to say this correction was needed and will eventually balance out the weight of both information and knowledge, which tend to be embodied in digital and print respectively.The road from knowledge to wisdom has equally been subverted by the digital revolution. The epiphanies derived from reading Hamlet or Li Bai's poems have been displaced by 12-step programs and morsels of wisdom that zap through cyberspace. On a positive note, they can be seen as CliffsNotes to the real thing; but this quasi-sagacity serves to lull its readership into a false sense of enlightenment. Wisdom cannot be drummed into you through rote learning, nor can it always be boiled down to 140 characters. It has to come from learning through personal experiences or through books, which are essentially those aspects of others' experiences that can be imparted and shared.Serious reading, on whatever platform or in whatever form, has its place in the advance of human civilization. All technological breakthroughs, such as the audio-visual revolution of the previous generation and now the digital revolution, all serve to complement it. Words as the all-powerful embodiment of human knowledge are never overrated and will never be totally replaced. More Chinese will realize their importance as the nation grows into middle-class comfort. The younger generations can afford to read books that are not utilitarian, at least the segment not addicted to Korean soap operas and their face-lifted idols. As Francis Bacon famously said, studies can be "for delight, for ornament, and for ability", and "delight" should rightly include the joy of elevating oneself to a level with a higher vista, which, unlike a high-rise apartment, money alone cannot buy.
最重要的是，中国有很多人都用满墙的书架将家里装饰得像个书香世家，但是却很少翻几页书。所以，制作砖头书的家庭手工业出现了，砖头书只有封面，没有内容，最合适装饰。是的，中国人会通过读书来使银行账户充实，但是却没有让自己全面地丰盈起来。当然，这只是一种趋势，并不适用于任何一个人。“碎片阅读”或者“轻阅读”这样的词浓缩了中国这样一种现象——刚脱离贫困走上小康的人们觉得没必要把自己提升到一个更具启蒙性的阶段。还没必要。读孔子的《论语》或者莎士比亚的著作不是为了通过考试或者任何实际用途，而是为了从人文财富中吸收营养，使自己变得更好。然而，把现代人与先人对比是不公平的。在古代，读书的能力把人们分成了贫富两个阶级。被剥削者中的少数人通过读书爬上更高的社会阶级。总体上，大多数人还是目不识丁。随着整个中华民族都可以享受到基础教育，读书认字最基本的绊脚石已经不存在了。而现在取决于每个人愿意获得什么信息或者知识。学校或者老师可以要求你阅读必须读的材料，但是除非课程结合了物质财富和精神财富两方面，否则你很有可能会忽视那些“没用”的书。计算机时代拥有无穷无尽的数据和宝贵的信息。对于长期信息封闭的人来说，计算机时代的新鲜感和活力充满诱惑。但是要无数的信息才能提炼成知识。如今的社会充斥着一种对知识的厌恶和怀疑论，然而在过去，人们毫不犹豫地汲取知识。大家都想跟接近知识的源头，再加上自己一些小调查或者分析，有时能有新的启示。因此，社会出现两种极化现象，一种是尽信书，一种是亲自核查每一个数据。我想说，我们需要纠正，并最终在无论是数据化还是纸质的信息与知识间平衡。知识转化到智慧的道路同样被数字化革命颠覆了。阅读哈姆雷特或者李白诗集的顿悟被充斥网络的12步获得智慧课程代替。好的一面是，它们可以作为货真价实书籍的导读，但这种类智慧误导读者进入一种错误的启发感。智慧是不可以通过机械阅读来灌输的，也不总是可以归结成140个字。它必须通过个人经历或者书籍获得，也就是他人那些“可以借鉴和分享的经历”。深入阅读，无论是通过哪种平台或者形式，都在人类文明发展史上扮演着不可或缺的地位。所有的技术突破，例如上一代的视听革命和当代的数字革命，都是为了起到补充的作用。作为人类知识一个全能的体现——文字的作用永远不会被夸大，也永远不会被完全代替。随着中国发展到中产阶级阶段，越来越多的中国人会意识到文字的重要性，年轻一代也会读那些非功利性的书籍，至少那部分没有沉迷韩剧和整容偶像的人会读。正如弗兰西斯·培根的名言，读书“足以怡情，足以博采，足以长才”，“怡情”应该包含提升自我至一个更高视野的喜悦，而这是仅用金钱就可以买到的高层公寓远远不及的。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 24楼  发表于: 2014-09-02 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
挪威冬日暖心正能量 当你路遇没穿外套的小男孩

A boy shivers in the harsh Oslo winter, pathetically wrapping his arms around himself on a bus stop bench. He isn't wearing a coat and temperatures in the Norwegian capital regularly plunge to -10C during winter.
一个小男孩在挪威首都奥斯陆的寒风中瑟瑟发抖，他坐在一个公交车站台，可怜兮兮地环抱着自己的胳膊。他没有穿外套，而此时在冬日的奥斯陆，气温一般都会降到零下10摄氏度。

A heartbreaking scene, but the actions of the ordinary people who witnessed the plight of 11 year old Johannes L?nnestad Flaaten is both joyous and inspiring.
发生在11岁小男孩约翰内斯的这一幕困境让人心碎，但目睹这一幕的普通路人的反应却让人非常感动和充满正能量。

A young blonde woman who sat next to the boy and notices him rubbing his arms. She immediately asks him: 'Don't you have a jacket?'
坐在小男孩旁边的一个年轻的金发女孩注意到他一直在搓摸自己的胳膊，就立即问道：“你没有外套吗？”

'No, someone stole it,' he replies. She questions him and discovers he was on a school trip and was told to meet his teacher at the bus stop. She asks him the name of his school and where he's from as she selflessly drapes her own coat around his shoulders.
“没有，有人把我的外套偷走了，” 他回答道。女孩问过他了解到他是在上学的路上，在公交车站是在等自己的老师。她问了学校的名字，知道他的来历，很无私地把自己的外套脱下来披在他的肩膀上。

Later, another older woman at first gives him her scarf, then wraps him in her large padded jacket.
后来，又一位年长女性先把自己的围巾给了他，然后把他包裹在自己的棉外套里。

Throughout the day, more and more people offered Johannes their gloves and even the coats off their backs as they waited for their bus.
在这一天中，越来越多等公交车的人把自己的手套给了小约翰内斯，甚至有不少人把自己的外套脱下来了。

Johanne's predicament was a hidden camera experiment by Norwegian charity SOS Children’s Village as part of their winter campaign to gather donations to send much-needed coats and blankets to help Syrian children get through the winter. Many of the refugees have left their homes without winter clothing.
约翰内斯的窘境是一个隐藏摄像机实验，由挪威慈善团体SOS儿童村发起，这是该组织冬日行动的一部分，这个活动是为了筹集更多捐赠为叙利亚儿童送冬日的生活必需品外套和毛毯。许多叙利亚难民在离家时都没带冬天的衣物。

"People should care as much about children in Syria as they care about this boy," Synne R?nning, the information head of SOS Children's Villages Norway, told The Local. She also noted that the child was a volunteer who was never in any danger during the filming.
挪威SOS儿童村的信息负责人罗宁对当地电视台表示：“人们应该像关心这个小男孩一样，关注叙利亚的儿童们。” 她也表示在拍摄过程中，志愿者小男孩并没有任何危险。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 25楼  发表于: 2014-09-02 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
一位爸爸写给女儿的信 关于你未来的那个他

Dear Cutie-Pie,
我的宝贝小甜心：

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was "How to keep him interested."
最近我和你妈妈准备在谷歌上搜一个答案。还没输完整个问题，谷歌就显示了一列世界上最常见的搜索。其中排在第一的是“怎么能让他一直对我感兴趣”。

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
这让我有点震惊。我浏览了无数相关的论文，这些文章都是关于女孩如何性感保持美丽，什么时候给他送上一杯啤酒和三明治，以及如何让他觉得聪明和有优越感。

And I got angry.
我怒了。

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to "keep him interested."
亲爱的宝贝，你从来，完全都不需要，“让他一直对你感兴趣。”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul -- in that unshakeable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego -- that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
亲爱的，你唯一的任务就是不断去了解自己的灵魂——你不该让拒绝、失去和自我占据那个不可撼动的领域——这样你才值得被喜欢。（如果你还能知道每个人都值得被喜欢，那么你的人生已经基本赢了。改天我会在另一封信里再写这部分。）

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
如果你相信自己的价值，那么你的魅力就能用最重要的这句话来形容：你会吸引有能力去爱你同时也想花一辈子时间好好爱你的男生。

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn't need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting.
亲爱的，我想告诉你，不用刻意在男生面前保持新鲜感，他会知道你的好和魅力所在。

I don't care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table -- as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can't stop looking.
我不介意他吃饭时会不会把手放桌子上——只要他会把注意力放在你身上，哪怕你大笑时鼻子都发出了怪声，还是止不住的一直看着你。

I don't care if he can't play a bit of golf with me -- as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
我不介意他不会陪我打高尔夫——只要他能和孩子们玩得开心，并且陶醉于孩子们和你是多么地相像。

I don't care if he doesn't follow his wallet -- as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
我不介意他忘带钱包——只要他全心爱你如初，一直不离不弃。

I don't care if he is strong -- as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
我不介意他是不是强壮——只要他能够给你足够空间，让你去不断锻炼内心的力量。

I couldn't care less how he votes -- as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
我一点也不关心他为谁投票——只要他每天早上醒来，都能把你“选”为家里的荣耀和他心中的女神。

I don't care about the color of his skin -- as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
我不介意他的肤色——只要他能用耐心、牺牲、奉献和温柔的笔触在你人生的画布上尽情挥绘。

I don't care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion -- as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
我不介意他是否有宗教信仰——只要他从小到大都信仰神圣，也知道生命的每个时刻，和你在一起的每分钟，都是非常神圣的。

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
最后，亲爱的，如果你遇到了这样的男人，哪怕我和他完全没有共同点，我们都会有一个最重要的共通之处：

You.
那就是你。

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to "keep him interested" is to be you.
最后，亲爱的，想要让他一直爱你如初的话，你唯一需要做的就是做你自己。

Your eternally interested guy,
永远爱你的

Daddy
爸爸

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 26楼  发表于: 2014-09-02 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
同一屋檐 迥异生活 如何跑赢人生?

Two girls living next door to each other - a seemingly plain scene that has two very different life stories behind it.
两个女孩比邻而居，这样看似稀松平常的场景背后，却有着两段完全不同的生活境遇。

Chi Zhen, an 18-year-old preparatory student in Seville, Spain, used his camera to tell the story of two lives, which went viral online. Comments on the photos indicate that they have inspired many to believe that the future is in their own hands.
18岁的迟震（音译）现在西班牙塞维利亚读大学预科，他用相机记录了两个女孩各不相同的生活经历，并引发网友疯传。从这些照片下的评论我们可以看出，它们使人们相信一个道理：未来掌握在自己手中。

Chi has seen many of his peers living life without a goal, wasting their time and blaming bad luck for it. Feeling regret for them, he took a series of photos of his friends Veronica and Anna Maria, both freshmen at the University of Seville in Spain. They live completely different life styles and are getting opposite results. Chi hopes the photos will inspire those who have let go of their own fate. It has certainly attracted attention, with more than 213 million views on Renren.com and 30,000 shares.
迟震发现很多同龄人生活得毫无目标、浑浑噩噩，怪罪时运不济。迟震为他们感到惋惜，于是他拍下了一组照片；照片中的人是他的朋友维诺尼卡和安娜?玛丽亚。同为西班牙塞维利亚大学大一新生的她们却有着截然不同的生活方式，结局也是完全相反。迟震希望通过这组照片来激励那些对命运听之任之的人。而这的确十分奏效。人人网上，有超过2.13亿人次浏览了这组照片，并分享了3万次。

In the photos, Anna Maria, a chubby Spanish girl, can be seen watching a TV drama. “She spends most of her time in front of her laptop,” says Chi. “She loves watching TV so much that she just eats take-away food in front of her laptop every day.”
照片中，胖乎乎的西班牙女孩安娜?玛丽亚正在看电视剧。“她大部分时间都坐在笔记本电脑前，”迟震说，“她沉迷于看电视，每天都会一边看电脑一边吃外卖。”

Anna Maria rarely goes out, because she thinks she’s not attractive and doesn’t know what to say in social situations. She blames fate. “I’m not as lucky as Veronica,” she often says.
安娜?玛丽亚十分“宅”，因为她觉得自己不漂亮，在社交场合不知道该说什么好。她怪自己命不好，“我没有维诺尼卡那么幸运。”是她的口头禅。

But she doesn’t know that while she’s wasting time watching TV dramas, Veronica, the “lucky” girl next door, has taught herself four foreign languages and traveled to many places. She goes to the library frequently and her extensive knowledge and experience allow her to take part in any conversation and become the center of attention.
但她有所不知的是，当她在电视剧上挥霍时间时，隔壁的维诺尼卡，这个她口中的“幸运”女孩，正在自学四门外语，并且去过很多地方旅行。维诺尼卡经常会泡在图书馆中，读万卷书、行万里路令她在任何社交场合都游刃有余，并且成为人们关注的焦点。

Chi thinks that Anna Maria resembles many of his Chinese friends who study abroad. They are confined to their little circles, always complaining about their fate, yet never changing it.
迟震认为安娜?玛丽亚跟自己的很多中国留学生朋友很像。他们禁锢在自己的小圈子中，总是抱怨命运，却从未努力去改变。

“They say ‘maybe I’ll do it in my next life’, but they are in their 20s, their best time. How can they give up hope and accept this as their life?” Chi says.
“他们说：‘如果有下辈子，我会改变命运的’，但他们只有20岁，处在人生最好的时光。怎么能放弃希望，听之任之？”迟震说。

Looking at Veronica, it’s obvious that she’s taking control of her fate. She’s studying Chinese, facilitating communication with Chi. Her experience has encouraged Chi to mix with students from all countries, and he’s getting good results.
看看维诺尼卡，显然她已经掌握了自己的命运。为了与迟震更好地交流，她正在学习中文。受到她亲身经历的启发，迟震开始同各个国家的学生打成一片，结果还不错。

“I learned about so many different ideas and attitudes, but I still need some time to get used to them,” he says.
“我从他们身上学到了很多不同的想法和人生态度，但我还需要花时间去适应。”他说。

The influence of the photos has gone far beyond what Chi expected. One user commented on his photos on Renren.com, saying: “A wall separates two worlds, and the life we have depends on what we do. I’d rather grasp my fate now than complain about everything later.” Another is determined to make a change right away. “I’m turning off my laptop and not watching TV dramas anymore,” he wrote.
这组照片的影响力远远超出了迟震的预期。一位人人网网友在照片下评论道：“一堵墙分开两个世界，有什么样的行动就有什么样的生活。与其事后抱怨连连，不如趁现在把握命运。”另一网友则决定马上做出改变。他写道：“我关掉了笔记本电脑，不再去看那些电视剧了。”

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 27楼  发表于: 2014-09-02 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
让孩子学会感恩 身教重于言传

At the Branstens' modern white dining table, the family holds hands for their nightly ritual.
布朗斯唐(Bransten)家现代风格的白色餐桌旁，一家人手拉手开始每天晚上都会进行的仪式。

Arielle, 8 years old, says she's thankful for her late grandfather, Horace, and how funny he was. 'I'm missing him, ' she says. Her third-grade pal, over for dinner, chimes in, 'I'm grateful for the sausages.' Leela, who works for an education nonprofit, and her attorney husband Peter, burst into smiles. The San Francisco couple couldn't have scripted this better. Appreciation for things big and small -- that's why they do this.
八岁的阿丽尔(Arielle)说，她感谢已故的祖父霍拉斯(Horace)以及他的风趣。“我一直想念他，”她说。阿丽尔来家里做客吃饭的三年级同学插嘴说：“我感谢有香肠吃。”在一家非营利教育机构工作的利拉(Leela)和当律师的丈夫彼得(Peter)不禁笑起来。这对生活在旧金山的夫妇的这个安排非常完美。对生活中大大小小的事情心存感恩——这就是他们这样做的原因。

Giving thanks is no longer just holiday fare. A field of research on gratitude in kids is emerging, and early findings indicate parents' instincts to elevate the topic are spot-on. Concrete benefits come to kids who literally count their blessings.
感恩已不再只是节日的事情。围绕儿童感恩情况的一个研究领域正在兴起，初步研究结果显示，父母凭直觉提起这个话题非常正确。如果孩子能真正地历数使他们感到幸福的事情，这对他们有实际益处。

Gratitude works like a muscle. Take time to recognize good fortune, and feelings of appreciation can increase. Even more, those who are less grateful gain the most from a concerted effort. 'Gratitude treatments are most effective in those least grateful, ' says Eastern Washington University psychology professor Philip Watkins.
感恩的形成如同肌肉。如果花时间认识到值得庆幸的事，感恩的情绪就会增加。甚至感恩之心没那么强的人在齐心协力的努力中会获益最多。东华盛顿大学(Eastern Washington University)心理学教授沃特金斯(Philip Watkins)说，感恩疗法在那些感恩之心较为淡薄的人身上最有效。

Among a group of 122 elementary school kids taught a weeklong curriculum on concepts around giving, gratitude grew, according to a study due to be published in 2014 in School Psychology Review. The heightened thankfulness translated into action: 44% of the kids in the curriculum opted to write thank-you notes when given the choice following a PTA presentation. In the control group, 25% wrote notes.
将于2014年发表在《学校心理学评论》(School Psychology Review)上的一项研究报告显示，一个由122名小学生组成的小组在接受了为期一周的有关付出的课程后，感恩心态有所增强。增加的感激之情转化成了行动：参加课程的孩子在观看一个家庭教师协会(PTA)的演示后，有44%的孩子选择了写感谢信。对照组写感谢信的孩子比例为25%。

'The old adage that virtues are caught, not taught, applies here, ' says University of California, Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons. Parents need to model this behavior to build their children's gratitude muscle. 'It's not what parents want to hear, but you cannot give your kids something that you yourselves do not have, ' Dr. Emmons says.
加州大学戴维斯分校(University of California, Davis)的心理学教授埃蒙斯(Robert Emmons)说，有句老话叫美德重在身教而非言传，在这里也适用。父母需要以身作则表现出感恩，才能让孩子也学会感恩。埃蒙斯说，关键不在于父母想听些什么，而是你自己都不具备的品质不可能传授给孩子。

This may seems obvious, but it eludes many parents, Dr. Watkins says. 'I think the most important thing for us adults to realize is we're not very grateful either, ' he says.
沃特金斯说，这看上去似乎是显然的，但很多父母并没意识到。他说，我认为对我们这些成年人来说最重要的是要认识到，我们自己也没有多少感恩之心。

The mere act of giving thanks has tangible benefits, research suggests. A 2008 study of 221 kids published in the Journal of School Psychology analyzed sixth- and seventh-graders assigned to list five things they were grateful for every day for two weeks. It found they had a better outlook on school and greater life satisfaction three weeks later, compared with kids assigned to list five hassles.
研究表明，仅仅是表示谢意的行动也会带来实际的益处。2008年发表于《学校心理学杂志》(Journal of School Psychology)的一项研究报告对221名六年级和七年级的学生进行了分析，他们被要求在两周时间里每天列出为之心存感恩的五件事情。研究发现，相比被要求每天列举五件为之烦恼的事的孩子，这些孩子在三周后对学校的看法更积极，生活满意度也更高。

Another study examined 1, 035 high-school students outside New York City. The study, published in 2010 in the Journal of Happiness Studies, found that those who showed high levels of gratitude, for instance thankfulness for the beauty of nature and strong appreciation of other people, reported having stronger GPAs, less depression and envy and a more positive outlook than less grateful teens.
另一项研究检查了纽约市以外1,035名高中生的情况。该研究论文于2010年发表于《幸福研究杂志》(Journal of Happiness Studies)，研究发现，相比那些不太感恩的青少年，具有强烈感恩之心的学生（比如对自然之美心存感恩，或很感激其他人）平均成绩更高、不容易沮丧和嫉妒，也更为积极乐观。

Further, teens who strongly connected buying and owning things with success and happiness reported having lower GPAs, more depression and a more negative outlook. 'Materialism had just the opposite effect as gratitude -- almost like a mirror, ' says study co-author Jeffrey Froh, associate professor of psychology at Hofstra University.
此外，将购买和拥有事物与成功和幸福联系起来的青少年成绩较差、情绪更低落、也更为悲观。上述研究的联合作者、霍夫斯特拉大学(Hofstra University)心理学助理教授弗罗(Jeffrey Froh)说，物质主义产生的效果与感恩刚好相反。

Internet shopping has made acquisition so easy, the value of goods can be harder to recognize. 'Today, if one of our boys needs a new pair of shoes, my wife goes on Zappos, picks out the color and size, and they show up the next day in a FedEx box. No wishing. No prioritizing. No desiring for something that is out of touch. Just click the button, and presto, the shoes arrive on our doorstep, ' says Willy Walker, who heads commercial real estate finance firm Walker and Dunlop in Bethesda, Md. 'It drives me crazy.'
网络购物让买东西更方便，但是人们更难以意识到商品的价值。在马里兰州贝塞斯达经营商业房地产金融公司Walker and Dunlop的沃克尔(Willy Walker)说，现在，如果哪个孩子需要一双新鞋，我妻子就会上Zappos网站，挑好颜色和尺寸，第二天鞋子就装在联邦快递(FedEx)的盒子里送来了。没有许愿的过程，不用决定优先顺序，没有对可望而不可及的东西的期许。只要点击鼠标，然后鞋子转眼就送到门口了。这简直让我发疯。

He has reacted to this reality -- so different from how he'd eye a pair of Pumas at the store for months before ever getting them as a kid -- with determination to keep consumption modest where possible. So, he hasn't set up the Wii his kids received as a present. 'They get plenty of video entertainment all over, so why not scale back at home?' he says.
现在的情况完全不同于他自己小时候在店里眼巴巴地看着一双彪马(Puma)运动鞋、要好几个月才能得到的情形，面对这一事实，他决心尽可能地将孩子们的消费保持在适度的水平。因此他一直没有设置孩子们作为礼物收到的Wii游戏机。他说，他们到处都有一大堆的视频游戏，因此为什么不在家里减少一点儿呢？

When his son wanted a cellphone for his 11th birthday, Mr. Walker set out to 'get the Pinto rather than the Cadillac.' In this case, his resolve fell away when challenged by factors like ease and quality. 'The Pintos didn't really limit access to texting or Web-browsing. They just did everything worse than the more expensive phones. So we got him an iPhone 4S. Ugh.'
当他儿子想要一部手机作为11岁生日礼物时，沃克尔打算买个便宜的，不要高档的。这一次，由于考虑到手机的使用便利程度和质量等因素，他的决心有所动摇。他说：“廉价手机其实也并不限制收发短信或上网。它们只不过是所有的功能都比更昂贵的手机差。于是我们给他买了部iPhone 4S。唉。”

A 2013 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin that tracked materialism in 355, 000 high school seniors from 1976 to 2007 found that desire for lots of money has increased markedly since the mid-1970s, while willingness to work hard to earn it has decreased. Among kids surveyed, 62% thought it was important to have lots of money and nice things between 2005 and 2007, while 48% had this view from 1976 to 1978.
2013年发表于《人格与社会心理学公报》(Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin)的一项研究在1976年至2007年期间跟踪调查了35.5万名高中高年级学生的物质主义倾向，结果发现，自上世纪70年代中期以来，学生们想要很多钱的愿望大大增加，而通过努力赚钱的意愿则下降了。在接受调查的孩子中，2005至2007年之间有62%的人认为有很多钱和好东西很重要，1976至1978年有此看法的孩子比例为48%。

'This subject is huge for us, ' says Gabrielle Toledano, an executive vice president at videogame company Electronic Arts. She and her husband live in San Francisco with their 9-year-old, Amelie, and 12-year-old, Ben. Ms. Toledano, and her husband Kurt Gantert, a camp director and stay-home dad, are deliberate about finding everyday ways to remind their kids how good they've got it.
视频游戏公司艺电(Electronic Arts)的执行副总裁托勒达诺(Gabrielle Toledano)说，这个主题对我们来说意义极为重大。她和丈夫与九岁的女儿阿梅莉(Amelie)和12岁的儿子本(Ben)住在旧金山。托勒达诺和丈夫甘特尔特(Kurt Gantert)深思熟虑，在日常生活中想办法提醒孩子们，他们享受着多好的生活。甘特尔特是一位夏令营负责人，并负责在家带孩子。

'We eat family dinner every night and thank Dad for making it, ' Ms. Toledano says. 'We talk about how I work hard so we can have nice food. If the kids don't come to the table when we call them, I tell them it's rude, because someone has made an effort, ' she says.
托勒达诺说，我们一家人每天晚上吃饭时都会感谢爸爸做饭。我们会谈论我工作有多辛苦，所以我们才有可口的美食。如果我们叫孩子们吃饭时他们没来到餐桌边，我会告诉他们这样没礼貌，因为有人为此付出了辛劳。

The couple is committed to their kids' having part-time jobs when they are old enough. 'They should work in the back office or the kitchen, ' Ms. Toledano says. 'There are interesting, hardworking people there. You learn more about gratitude when you have friends who aren't as privileged as you are, ' she says.
这对夫妇决心在孩子们足够大时让他们从事兼职工作。托勒达诺说，他们应当在后勤部门或厨房里干活。那里有一些很有意思、努力工作的人。如果你有一些境遇不如自己的朋友，你会更多地学会感恩。

Despite good intentions, some parents are struggling with how to stoke the giving fires in their children. 'It's an uphill battle, ' says Andrea Rice, president of professional development coaching business CareerCore. Her kids are 12 and 9. 'We both work, so the kids have an au pair. They are shuttled from A to B. They don't really struggle much. Because that's their reality, it doesn't matter how much you say, 'Appreciate this, appreciate that, ' ' Ms. Rice says.
虽然怀揣着良好意愿，但一些父母觉得很难让孩子更多地付出。“这是非常艰难的。”职业发展培训机构CareerCore的总裁莱斯(Andrea Rice)说。她的孩子分别为12岁和九岁。莱斯说，我们夫妻两人都要上班，因此孩子们有一个住家保姆。他们总在不断穿梭。他们其实没遇到过什么困难。因为现实就是这样的，不管你怎样苦口婆心地说对这个要感恩，对那个要感恩。

Everyday actions may be even more important than big efforts, researchers say. 'Express gratitude to your spouse. Thank your kids, ' Hofstra's Dr. Froh says. 'Parents say, 'Why should I thank them for doing something they should do, like clean their room?' By reinforcing this, kids will internalize the idea, and do it on their own.'
研究人员说，父母的日常行为可能比花大力气去说教孩子更为重要。霍夫特斯拉大学的弗罗说，向你的另一半表示感谢。同时也要谢谢你的孩子们。弗罗表示，父母会说，我为什么要为孩子应该自己动手做的事情去谢谢他们，比如打扫自己的房间？但实际上，通过这种强调方式，孩子会将这一想法内在化，然后自己来做。

Still, Eastern Washington's Dr. Watkins cautions, 'Don't shove it down their throats.' His family gives thanks at Thanksgiving, but it's not a formal process. 'Don't make this, 'It's your turn, so say something whether you feel it or not, ' ' he says.
但东华盛顿大学的沃特金斯提醒说，这件事还是不要硬来。他的家庭会在感恩节彼此道谢，但不会搞得非常正式。他说，不要弄成好像是“该你了，无论有没有感受，都说点什么吧”。

UC Davis's Dr. Emmons believes gratitude is actually easier for kids. 'As we get older, the give and take of life is driven by expectations around tit-for-tat reciprocity. Kids have a natural affinity to gratitude. They often teach parents as much or more about gratitude than the other way around.'
加州大学戴维斯分校的埃蒙斯认为，其实孩子更容易怀有感恩的心态。他说，随着年龄的增长，我们生活中的给予和回报往往会变成你来我往这种互惠型期待，而孩子则有一种很自然的感恩心理，他们在这方面教给父母的常常与父母教给孩子的一样多，甚至更多。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 28楼  发表于: 2014-09-03 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
金钱买不到幸福 也许时间可以

While on vacation in distant locales, people often find that time moves quite differently than in the places they’re used to. In the tropics, we settle into the grooves of “island time” and relax thanks to a more leisurely rhythm. A trip to a big city can leave us exhilarated but also drained by the energetic whir of life there.
据科技杂志Nautilus报道，当人们去远方度假时，往往会发现时间过得与平时很不一样。热带地区悠闲的节奏让我们习惯于“岛上的时间”，过得更加放松。去大城市令人兴奋，却也被充满活力的快节奏生活弄得筋疲力尽。

The different paces of different communities also seem to be connected to other cultural characteristics. Robert Levine and his colleagues have studied the speed of life in cities around the world and across the U.S. In a series of experiments they measured how fast solitary pedestrians in a downtown core covered a distance of 60 feet (being careful to exclude those who are obviously window shopping), timed how long it took to complete a simple commercial transaction, and recorded the accuracy of randomly selected clocks in the downtown business area. They found that places with a faster pace of life also had more robust economies (as measured by GDP per capita, average purchasing power, and average caloric intake), and that people in larger cities tended to move faster than those in less populated areas. They also found truth to the stereotype that people move slower in hotter places.
群体间不同的生活节奏是与他们的文化有关的。罗伯特?莱文和他的同事们对全球各个城市和美国各地的生活节奏做了一个调查。通过一系列的实验，他们计算出了每个城市里的人走过60英尺需要的时间（他们仔细地将其中明显是在逛街的人排除在外），计算了一桩买卖成交需要的时间，并且记录了在中心商业区随机挑选的时钟的准确性。他们发现节奏快的地方往往是那些经济更加发达的地方（通过对比人均GDP、平均购买力还有平均热量摄入），并且人们在大城市里比在人口少的地方走得更快。他们也发现了人们在热的地方走得更慢这一惯例。

So as you might expect, fast-moving people are associated with fast-moving economies. But does that faster life translate into greater happiness? In faster places (specifically, economically developed areas of North America, Western Europe, and Asia), people were more likely to smoke, less likely to take the time to help strangers in need, and more likely to die from coronary heart disease. Yet Levine and his colleagues found that residents in faster places tended to report feeling somewhat happier with their lives than those who lived in slower places. A city’s pace of life was indeed “significantly related” to the physical, social, and psychological well-being of its inhabitants.
正如你所想象的那样，快节奏的人们和高速增长的经济相关。但是快节奏的生活就意味着幸福么？在快节奏的地方（尤其是经济发达地区，如北美、西欧和亚洲），更多的人抽烟，更少的人会去帮助那些需要帮助的人，并且更容易死于冠心病。但是莱文和他的同事们发现，在快节奏城市生活的人觉得自己比那些生活在慢节奏城市的人更加幸福。一个城市的生活节奏明显与居民的身体健康、社会意识和心理状态息息相关。

Perhaps the higher reported rates of happiness simply reflect the fact that faster places have more robust economies. But the relationship between income and reported happiness is far from obvious. According to the “Easterlin paradox” (named after economist Richard Easterlin), once people have enough money to meet their basic needs, having more money is not necessarily correlated with higher self-reported happiness. Easterlin’s claims are controversial and not universally accepted; even if his theory is correct, wealthier nations might be happier overall if they address the basic needs to more of their people. In any case, the ongoing debate indicates that we need to tread carefully when making connections between happiness and overall economic factors.
也许更高的幸福指数反应出了这样一个事实：快节奏的城市拥有更好的经济发展。但是收入与幸福指数间的关系并不明显。根据伊斯特林悖论（以经济学家理查德?伊斯特林的名字命名），一旦人们拥有足够的钱满足基本的生活需求，收入与幸福指数关联得并不紧密。伊斯特林悖论存在着争议也没有被普遍接受，尽管他的理论是对的，在满足了更多人们的基本生活需求时，总的来说更富有的国家幸福指数会高些。无论如何，依旧持续着的争议告诉我们将幸福指数和整体经济因素进行关联时需要多加小心。

Among individuals in a society, busyness—or the feeling of busyness—seems to be an important factor in well-being. That feeling of busyness—of having a lot to do and too little time in which to do itis often associated with stress and anxiety. However in many contexts being “busy” is badge of honor: Busy parents are seen as devoted to their children’s well-being, the busy real estate agent must be closing lots of sales, and the busy lawyer can charge a premium hourly rate. In US studies, the happiest people reported that they were busy, in the sense that they had little excess time, yet did not feel rushed. Like big-city dwellers, they seemed to thrive at a faster pace.
对社会中的个体来说，忙碌——或者感觉忙碌——似乎是影响状态的重要因素。忙碌的感觉——有很多的事情要做，却没有多少时间的感觉经常带来压力与焦虑。但在很多的情况下，忙碌是一个光荣的标志：忙碌的父母被认为是为了让孩子过得好；忙碌的房地产经纪人则与客户更加亲密；忙碌的律师的时薪也更高。在美国的调查发现，幸福指数最高的人都很忙，也就意味着他们没有多余的时间，也不觉得匆忙。就好像大城市的居民们，他们似乎喜欢更快的生活节奏。

Levine’s work raises the intriguing possibility that an individual’s feelings about their use of time contribute as much or more to their happiness as does economics. Now the big challenge is to find out which way the causal chain works: Does the feeling of being active, yet not rushed, contribute to happiness? Or does happiness allow people to perceive their use of time in positive ways?
莱文的研究显示了对时间利用的个人感觉可能比经济更加影响幸福指数。现在的问题时需要找出这样的影响是怎样发生的：是因为充实并不匆忙的感觉令人幸福？还是幸福让人们更加积极地利用他们的时间？

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 29楼  发表于: 2014-09-03 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
纯洁的友谊 男孩为支持患癌小伙伴剃光头

A first-grade student whose best friend is battling cancer decided that hours of playing and telling jokes was not enough - he wanted to show his buddy just how he understood the tough time he was going through.
有个一年级男孩，他最好的朋友患了癌症，这男孩经常陪朋友做游戏讲笑话，但他觉得这些还不够。他想让自己的好哥们儿知道，自己对他的痛苦感同身受。

Five-year-old Vincent Butterfield decided the only way was to shave his head in support of his best friend Zac Gossage who lost his hair through chemotherapy.
5岁的文森特·巴特菲尔德想了想，觉得剃光头是支持哥们儿最好的办法，因为他最好的朋友扎克因为化疗头发都掉光了。

Zac was diagnosed last June with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. He is undergoing treatment but still goes to Union Central Elementary in Missouri every day - because that's where he gets to hang out with Vincent.
扎克去年6月确诊患有急性淋巴细胞白血病。他现在在接受治疗，但仍坚持每天去密苏里州的联盟中心小学上学，因为只有在那儿他才能和好友文森特相聚。

When the little boy was asked why he shaved his hair off, he told KSDK: 'To make Zac feel like he’s not the only one without any hair.'
KSDK电视台记者问小男孩为什么要剃光头，他说：“我想让扎卡感觉他不是唯一没有头发的人。”

Vincent has also been learning about cancer and raising money for his best friend after learning how expensive his chemotherapy treatments are.
文森特也已经开始研究有关癌症的信息，在了解到化疗如此昂贵之后他又开始为好哥们儿筹钱。

He made more than 20 scarves and sold them, raising more than $200 to give to Zac.
他自己做了20多条围巾然后去卖，筹到了200多美元给扎克。

The little boy's mom Karen Butterfield told KSDK: 'We had been making these scarves and he just kind of said it would be cool if we could make a whole bunch of these and sell them.'
小男孩的妈妈凯伦·巴特菲尔德告诉KSDK电视台记者：“我们编织了这些围巾，他说如果我们做出一大堆这样的围巾然后再去卖，那将会很酷。”

When asked what friendship was, Vincent looked at his friend Zac and responded: 'It's a beautiful thing.'
记者问文森特什么是友谊，他看看朋友扎克，然后说道：“友谊很美好。”

Acute lymphoblastic leukemia is a fast-growing cancer of the white blood cells. The cancer, which attacks the blood and bone marrow, is most common in children aged two to five years old and has optimistic survival rates.
急性淋巴细胞白血病是一种白血球快速增长的癌症。这种癌症会破坏血液和骨髓，2到5岁孩童患病较多，存活率较为乐观。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 30楼  发表于: 2014-09-03 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
细数当下小幸福:三个方法重拾对生活的热情

You’ve probably heard the old saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”
你肯定听过这样一句谚语：“篱笆外的草总是分外绿”，别人的似乎总比我们好。

Perhaps you feel like it’s true. You look at other people’s lives, and you envy them. They seem to be doing so much better than you. They’ve got a great job. Lots of money. A happy home life. They seem to have it all. And you can’t help wishing that you did, too.
也许你觉得这句话是对的，你会羡慕嫉妒别人的生活，觉得他们什么都比你做得好：体面的工作、丰厚的收入、幸福的家庭，他们好像什么都有了。所以你忍不住希望：要是自己也能拥有这些就好了。

But none of us ever really know what it’s like to live someone else’s life. No-one’s life is perfect – whatever it looks like from the outside.
但我们从来无从知晓，如果让我们去过别人的生活会是什么样子。也许从外面看来很美好，但没有人的生活是完美无缺的。

Plus, it’s a safe bet that some of your friends are looking at your life and thinking very similar things. Whatever state your life is in, you’ve got a lot of good things. You just need to recognize them again.
而且我完全可以肯定，有一些你的朋友也和你一样，看着你的生活想着类似的事情。其实不管你现在的生活状态如何，你都已经拥有了很多美好的事情，你只需要重新认识自己的生活。

I. Enjoy What You Have
享受你所拥有的一切

One of the best ways to love your current life is to write a list of things you’re grateful for. It doesn’t matter if they seem small or insignificant: little everyday moments of happiness count. You might think of:
热爱自己现在的生活，最好的方式之一就是写下生命中让你心怀感激的事情。就算是很琐碎很没有意义也没有关系：正是这些日常生活中快乐的小时刻让我们的生活变得有意义。你可能会想到：

1. People who you’re grateful for – your family, friends, housemates, co-workers…
你感谢的那些人：你的家人、朋友、室友、同事等等；

2. Treats which you enjoy – the smell of fresh coffee, the taste of dark chocolate, a long bath after a hard day…
你喜欢的那些东西：新鲜现磨咖啡的香味，黑巧克力的味道，还有辛苦一天后好好洗个热水澡；

3. Things which make your day easier – the dishwasher, online grocery shopping, fast internet access at work…
会让生活变得轻松的事物：洗碗机、网上购物、工作时的快捷网络；

4. Anything special which you’ve grown accustomed to – your wedding ring, your smartphone, a favorite coat…
已经让你变得习惯的特别物件：结婚戒指、智能手机、最喜欢的外套；

5. Happy moments – chatting with a friend, something which made you laugh, playing with your kids…
那些欢乐时光：和朋友的闲聊、让你开怀大笑的事情、和孩子们一起玩耍......

II. Focus on the Good Points
专注生活中好的方面

When we’re thinking about future goals and ambitions, it’s easy to end up in quite a negative mood about the present. Perhaps you start thinking through all the things you want to change in your life: losing weight, getting fit, quitting smoking, switching jobs…
当我们想到未来的目标和理想时，我们很容易对当下陷入一种消极的情绪中。也许你开始想到生活中你想改变的所有事情：减肥、健身、戒烟、换工作等等。

As well as thinking of what you might want to change, look at the areas of your life which are currently good. Maybe:
在想到你想要改变的这些事情的同时，也看看现在的生活中已经很好的部分，也许是：

1. You get on well with your colleagues at work, and you’ve got a good relationship with your boss
你跟同事相处得非常融洽，跟老板的关系也很好；

2. You’ve got some real strengths – like being able to establish a quick connection with clients, and being organised
你已经培养了一些真正的优势：比方说能很快的与客户建立联系，而且比较有条理；

3. Your house is set up pretty much how you want it – there might not be loads of space, but it feels like home
家里的构造正是你一直想要的：可能空间不大，但非常有家的温馨；

…and so on. How could you make more of these good things? Perhaps you could spend more time on your hobbies, or concentrate on your particular strengths at work.
还有很多。这些好的方面应该如何利用呢？也许你可以在自己的爱好上花更多的时间，或在工作上专注于自己的特长。

III. Live in the Moment
活在当下

It’s appropriate to plan for the future, and to learn from the past – but it’s not a good idea to constantly have your mind on how “things will be better next year when…” or on “life was so much better last year because…”
为未来计划和从过去学习，这都是很正确的做法，但如果你的心里总是在纠结 “明年等......的时候事情可能会好起来” 或是“去年的生活轻松多了因为......” ，那就不太对了。

Being able to live in the moment means appreciating what’s around you. It’s about having your attention on now, instead of reminiscing about what’s already gone, or worrying about what’s yet to come. Living in the moment means:
活在当下，意思是要欣赏现在生活中周围的一切。把你的注意力放在现在，而不是追忆已成过去的往事，或是忧心还未到来的明天。活在当下意味着：

1. Enjoying your days off, without constantly thinking about Monday morning.
休息日就好好休息，别总是想着马上要来的周一；

2. Taking time to stop and watch a beautiful sunset, or to enjoy the smell of fresh-mown grass.
花点时间停下来看看美丽的夕阳，或者闻闻刚刚修剪过的草坪的青草香；

3. Eating your meals more mindfully – instead of grabbing a sandwich on the run.
更用心的享受每一餐食物，而不是抓一个三明治匆匆了事。

By keeping your attention on the present moment, the here-and-now, you can get much more enjoyment from the life you already have.
让你的注意力专注在当下的时光，此刻此处。你会从已经拥有的生活中感受到更多的乐趣。


回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 31楼  发表于: 2014-09-03 0
Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
美国好老公 穿芭蕾裙逗乐患癌妻子

You don't often see a man walking around a field of cows wearing a pink tutu. Needless to say,we were intrigued by Bob Carey and the shirtless photos of him gallivanting around in acostume often worn by little girls. We sensed there was a good story behind this alter-egoballerina, but we didn't expect it would be this heartwarming.
一个男人穿着粉色芭蕾短裙，在牛群吃草的牧场里散步——这样的场景并不多见。毫无疑问，这些穿着小女孩的芭蕾短裙、赤裸上身、到处闲逛的自拍照引起了我们对其作者鲍勃·凯里的好奇心。我们猜到这位改变自我的芭蕾舞者背后一定有一个精彩的故事，但我们没想到这个故事是如此感人至深。

The photographer, who has recently moved from Brooklyn to New Jersey, started the TuTuProject when his wife Linda was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003.
2003年，凯里的妻子琳达被诊断出患有乳腺癌，就是从那时候起他开始了自己芭蕾舞照计划。凯里最近从布鲁克林搬到了新泽西。

The illness reminded Carey that sometimes, laughter really can be the best medicine. 'It gave ussomething to focus on that was fun,' Linda added.
妻子的疾病让凯里意识到，有时候笑声真的是最佳良药。琳达则说：“凯里的芭蕾舞照让我们有了可以关注的事情，而且很有趣。”

As she continues to battle the disease, Mr Carey has continued to take the pictures with thehope of turning them into a book and raising awareness and funds for cancer charities.
在琳达和癌症持续抗争的过程中，凯里也继续在各地拍照，希望可以将这些照片集结成书，唤起人们对乳腺癌的关注，也为癌症慈善机构筹募资金。

Linda Carey expressed the unexpectedly huge response from cancer survivors expressingthanks around the web. "Many want to share their story or say thanks for sharing the images,"she relayed in an e-mail to the Huffington Post. "The project really is no longer about Bob and Ibut all those who have been touched by cancer."
琳达说，这个项目在网上引起了癌症康复者的巨大反响，他们纷纷对这一项目表达谢意，这让她感到吃惊。“许多人想要分享他们的故事，或者想表达对这些分享的照片的谢意，” 她在与《赫芬顿邮报》的通信中说到，“这个项目已经不仅仅是关于鲍勃和我的，而是关于每个曾被癌症触碰过的患者的。”


回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 32楼  发表于: 2014-09-03 0
Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
回顾曼德拉经典语录 助你克服人生困难

'If I had my time over I would do the same again. So would any man who dares call himself a man. '
“如果时光倒流，我还会做同样的事情。每个敢说自己是男人的人也都会这么做。”

-Speech in mitigation of sentence after being convicted of inciting workers to strike and leaving the country illegally; at the apartheid court known as the Old Synagogue, Pretoria, November 1962
――1962年11月比勒陀利亚，因煽动工人罢工和非法出境而被定罪的曼德拉(Nelson Mandela)在被称作“老犹太教堂”(Old Synagogue)的种族隔离法院申请减刑时发表演说

' During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die. '
“我毕生致力于非洲人民的斗争事业。我反抗过白人专制，也反抗过黑人专制。我一直怀抱一个理想，那就是建立一个人人和谐共处、机会平等的民主自由社会。我愿为这一理想活下去，将它变为现实。但如果有必要的话，我愿为之献出生命。”

-Pretoria Supreme Court, April 20, 1964
――1964年4月20日，比勒陀利亚最高法院

' I have never regarded any man as my superior, either in my life outside or inside prison. '
“无论监狱内还是监狱外的岁月中，我都从未视任何人高我一等。”

-Letter to Gen. Du Preez, commissioner of prisons, written on Robben Island, Cape Town, July 12, 1976
――1976年7月12日于开普敦罗本岛，写给监狱总长Du Preez将军的信

' I had no specific belief except that our cause was just, was very strong and it was winning more and more support. '
“我心中只有一个信念――我们的事业正义且强大，并正在赢得越来越多的支持。”

-Robben Island, Feb. 11, 1994
――1994年2月11日于罗本岛

' Never, never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land will again experience the oppression of one by another. '
“这片美丽的土地将永远不会再遭遇一方对另一方的压迫。”

-Inaugural address, May 9, 1994
――1994年5月9日就职演说

' It is never my custom to use words lightly. If 27 years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die. '
“轻易地使用言语从来不是我的风格。如果说27年的监狱生活对我们有什么意义的话，那就是它用独处的寂静让我们懂得言语的珍贵，以及言语对人们生活和死亡的方式有着多么真实的影响。”

-AIDS conference in Durban, South Africa, July 14, 2000
――2000年7月14日于南非德班的艾滋病会议上

' What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead. '
“人生的意义不在于我们仅仅活过的事实。决定我们人生意义的是我们对他人的生活产生了怎样的影响。”

-Walter Sisulu's 90th birthday celebration, Johannesburg, May 18, 2002
――2002年5月18日于约翰内斯堡的西苏卢(Walter Sisulu)90岁生日庆典上

' We tried in our simple way to lead our life in a manner that may make a difference to those of others. '
“我们尝试以自己的一种简单的方式，让我们的人生影响他人的生活。”

-Upon receiving the Roosevelt Institute's Four Freedom Award in Middleburg, Netherlands, June 8, 2002
――2002年6月8日于荷兰米德尔堡，在领取罗斯福学院(Roosevelt Institue)四大自由奖(Four Freedoms Award)前发表演说

' Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do. '
“每个人都可以改善他们的境遇并取得成功，只要对所做之事抱有奉献精神和热情。”

-Letter to Makhaya Ntini, prominent black South African cricketer, Dec. 17, 2009
――2009年12月17日，写给南非知名黑人板球运动员Makhaya Ntini的信

' There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. ... The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. ... Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. ... After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. ... I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. ... Death is something inevitable. When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace. I believe I have made that effort and that is, therefore, why I will sleep for the eternity. '
“回到没有变化的地方去寻找改变自我的方式是一个独特的经历……生命最伟大的光辉不在于永不跌落，而在于每一次跌落后的再次升起……不要以我的成就评价我，而要看我有多少次跌倒后重新站起……翻越了一座高山，只会发现前方有更多座高峰等待攀越……我意识到勇敢并非恐惧的消弭，而是战胜恐惧……死亡是个不可避免的事情。当一个人完成了他心中对祖国和人民应尽的职责，他便可安详地离去。我相信我已做出了这份努力，也正因此，我将获得永恒的安息。
回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 33楼  发表于: 2014-09-04 0
  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
周末心头飘阴霾 五方法抵抗周日综合症

In theory, the 62 hours between 6 p.m. on Friday evening and 8 a.m. on Monday morning are a blissful reprieve from the stress of the workweek. But even if you manage to leave work at work, the reality is that Sundays are often dominated by that sinking feeling that the workweek is looming.
理论上讲，周五晚上6:00到周一早上8:00，这62小时是缓解一周工作压力的美好时光。可实际上就算已在办公室完成了工作，沉重的工作感还是会在周末不时掠过心头。

The phenomenon is a real one -- 78 percent of respondents in a recent international Monster.com poll reported experiencing the so-called "Sunday Night Blues." And a whopping 47 percent said they get it "really bad." In the U.S., that number jumps to 59 percent.
这种现象千真万确——根据近期在国际Monster.com网站上的调查，78%答卷者表示有前述现象：即所谓的“周日综合症”。另有高达47%的答卷者表示自己的这种症状“非常严重”。在美国，该比率则为59%。

The Sunday Night Blues are created by a combination of realizing weekend fun is coming to an end and anticipating the beginning of five days of pressure, meaning it can strike even those who like their jobs. "Work is now spread out into home life with increasing demands because of email and the ability to work remotely," says Steven Meyers, professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Chicago, Ill. "Work has become more of a drain for many people than it was a decade or two ago. There's more to dread nowadays."
周日综合症是多方面造成的：一方面，人们意识到快乐周末即将结束；另一方面，人们感到接下来又得面对压力重重的工作日，就算原本喜欢工作的人也受不了。“随着电子邮件和远程工作的普及，工作已经渗透到了家庭生活。”伊利诺伊州芝加哥罗斯福大学心理学教授史蒂夫-迈尔斯说道。“相对于前几十年，现如今工作对很多人来说相当耗费精力，让人心生畏惧的事情太多了。”

But a case of the blues doesn't have to derail your Sunday. Below are five expert-approved strategies for beating that end-of-weekend anxiety.
不过，绝不能因为心情郁闷而毁了整个周末。下面五个专家级策略就有助于抵抗周末焦虑症。

1.Relax and distract.
放松并转移注意力。

Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to forget about it. "Feelings of anxiety and depression are most common when the person is not particularly busy," Meyers says. "So enjoyable activities that redirect your attention are especially important. Spending time with others, doing things that you find fun, exercising [and] devoting time to hobbies are all good ways to keep busy so that dread doesn't creep into your mind."
有时解决问题最好的办法莫过于忘记它。“人们不太忙时最容易感到焦躁郁闷。”迈尔斯说，“因此，可转移注意力的趣味活动显得非常重要。多接触他人、做喜欢的事、运动或培养兴趣爱好都是保持忙碌的好方法，以免你闲得发慌。”

Identify the times you tend to feel anxious as the weekend wears on (Sunday Night Blues can be a misnomer -- sometimes it starts Sunday morning or afternoon), and purposely plan something to keep your mind focused on something else during those times.
用心观察自己周末什么时候容易烦躁（“周日综合症”并不十分确切，有时烦躁情绪是从周日早上或下午开始的），然后制定计划，使自己在烦躁时将注意力转移到其他事情上去。

2.Put your feelings on paper.
把情绪写在纸上。

Still can't squelch the feeling of impending doom on Monday Morning Eve? Try writing down exactly what it is that's bothering you. "It's a catharsis to get it out on paper ... It's like flushing a toilet: You get it out on paper and you have flushed your system out," says James Campbell Quick, professor of Leadership and Organizational Behavior at The University of Texas at Arlington. "Plus, when you go back and look at it you may realize that some of what you're thinking and feeling is a little off reality."
还是无法挥去周日晚上的焦躁感？试着把引起烦躁的事情写下来吧。“写出来也是一种宣泄……这就好像冲马桶：写出来，然后再把负面情绪冲走。而且再回头看时，会发现你的所思所想是有点不切实际的。”詹姆斯-坎贝尔-奎科说道。他是德克萨斯大学阿林顿校区的领导力与组织行为学教授。

Listing out exactly what's bothering allows you to "weigh the evidence and examine the facts that are underneath the feelings," Meyers says. He recommends also writing down plans to address each of the stressful situations, because this can help "people reappraise the scope and scale of the stresses that they're looking at over the next several days."
列出烦躁事情能使你“衡量并检查情绪背后的事实。”迈尔斯说。他建议同时也写下应对紧张情形的计划，因为这能帮助人们“重新审视接下来几天的压力范围和强度。”

3.Unplug.
切断源头。

In a world of 24/7 connectivity, there's almost always an option to check in at work -- and that means nine-to-five, five-days-a-week jobs are often a relic of the past. It can be easy to allow the stresses of workweek to seep into your precious time off and tempting to use Sunday as a chance to get a jumpstart on the week. But, as much as you can, it's important to spend time unplugged, even if you can only manage a few hours.
在当今这个全天候无休止运转的世界，工作显然是不可或缺的。这就意味着一周五天、朝九晚五的工作一直是过去循环的结果。因此，工作日的压力自然会延伸到休息时间，甚至造成周日演变成一周的开始。但只要可以，你总能切断源头——哪怕只是几个小时的时间。

Disconnecting on the weekends can allow you the time you need to recharge your batteries after a stressful week, says Joanie Ruge, senior vice president at the career site Monster.com, which conducted the Sunday Night Blues survey. It might seem counterintuitive, but taking some time off will allow you to be even more productive when you get back to the grind.
乔安娜·鲁格是本次进行“周日综合症”的职场网站Monster.com的高级副总裁，她认为，周末抛开工作能确保在辛苦工作一周后给自己充电。这貌似有悖常理，但好好休息确实能保证你在接下来的工作中更有效率。

4.Schedule something to look forward to.
合理安排玩乐。

"We shouldn't save all of our fun times for the weekend," Meyers says. Strategically setting up little things to look forward to throughout the upcoming week, and even the following weekend, can help to soothe some of your Sunday-evening dread.
“人们不该把所有玩乐都安排在周末。”迈尔斯说。有策略地把细小快乐穿插在整个星期，包括周末在内，这样可以缓解周末晚上的抑郁情绪。

These activities don't need to be elaborate (think: watching a TV show, making a phone date with a friend or going out to dinner). "Any of these are small enough to be feasible for workweek activities but large enough to make you feel excited or hopeful," Meyers says. Yup, DVR-ing DWTS totally counts.
“这类活动不必很复杂，可以是看电视剧、跟朋友煲电话粥或外出吃饭，这些琐事不仅方便穿插在工作日，还能让你心情愉悦有盼头。”迈尔斯说。没错，看录像也可以算在内。

5.Set yourself up for success.
做好成功的准备。

Sometimes Sunday night is too late to think about the Sunday Night Blues. Next week, try setting aside some time on Friday afternoon to prepare for Monday, getting things organized so you have less to feel stressed about over the weekend. "Take some time to plan, even if that means you don't dash for the door at 5 p.m. on a Friday," Ruge says. "It actually will help you have a much better and more enjoyable weekend."
有时周日晚上太晚，都无暇去想“周日综合症”。下个星期，可以尝试在周五下午就做好下周一的准备，使一切井井有条，这样你就不会为下周感到头大了。鲁格建议说：“哪怕你周五下午5:00不那么急切，也该花点时间做计划，这样周末才会过得更加舒心愉悦。”
回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 34楼  发表于: 2014-09-04 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
珍爱生活远离干扰 浪费生命的9件事

Are you sitting down while reading this? Well that could be shortening your lifespan.
你是安心坐下来读这段文字的么？好吧，这真的浪费了生命。

Let's be honest: From the moment we're born, we're all dying just as we're living. But certain mundane things we do every day may actually be helping us get there faster. None of this means we should even try to eliminate these behaviors from our lives entirely, but it's proof that overdoing anything, even when seemingly innocuous, can have serious impacts on our health. Below we've rounded up 9 everyday things you're probably doing that could potentially shorten your lifespan:
这么说吧：从我们出生的那一刻开始，我们正在活着，也正在死去。但日常一些琐碎的事情也许会加速这个进程。这当然不意味着我们需要完全把这些事从生活中抽离开来，但证据显示，过多纠结于这些事情，哪怕看起来无关紧要，也会对健康造成影响。下面我们列出了9件也许你每天都做实际上是浪费生命的事情。

1. You're having a hard time finding love
你在苦苦追寻爱情

Having a difficult time finding a mate can shave off months of your life, while being single for prolonged periods of time could cost you a whole decade.
苦苦去寻求伴侣也许只会浪费几个月的时间，但单身可是会让你少活十年哦。

A study by Harvard Medical School found that communities with gender ratios skewing significantly more male or female caused the minority sex to have shorter lifespans. On top of all this, another study found that never getting married could increase risk of death over a lifetime by 32 percent, and led to the previously mentioned loss of a decade.
哈佛医学院的研究发现性别比率差距悬殊的社群中，占少数的性别一方寿命会变短。另外一个研究也发现不婚会增加32%的死亡风险，也就是差不多算起来少活十年左右。

2. You're sitting down for more than a few hours every day
一天坐好几个小时

Two whole years of your life could be cut just from sitting more than three hours a day. A study published in the JAMA Internal Medicine found that sitting for more than 11 hours a day increased the risk of death by 40 percent over the next three years, compared to sitting for under four hours a day. Time to get that stand-up desk.
一天坐着超过三小时，你的寿命就会减少2年。JAMA内部医学研究发现，和那些一天坐着不超过4小时的人相比，坐着超过11个小时的人在未来三年的死亡风险会增加30%。

3. You're neglecting your friends
你忽视你的朋友们

People with weak social connections were found to die at much higher rates than their counterparts, according to research by Brigham Young University and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, which collected data from 148 different studies. The same researchers found that prolonged loneliness could be as bad for your lifespan as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
杨百翰大学和北卡罗来纳州大学教堂山分校从148个研究中总结发现，人际交往弱的人群似乎死亡率会更高。研究员同样发现孤独感对生命的坏影响不亚于一天吸十五根烟。

Elderly people with large circles of friends were found to be 22 percent less likely to die over a tested study period, and those social connections generally promote brain health in aging brains.
研究发现，有很多朋友的老人们在实验周期内的死亡率要下降22%，而社交从某种程度而言能够促进逐渐老化的脑部健康。

4. You're vegging out in front of your TV
你一直呆坐在电视前

Watching just two hours of television a day can lead to an increased risk of premature death, heart disease and Type 2 diabetes, according to Harvard researchers. The negative effects of watching television seem to overlap with the potential negative effects of sitting too much, but watching television seems to make the negative effects of sitting even worse. According to the New York Times, "every single hour of television watched after the age of 25 reduces the viewer’s life expectancy by 21.8 minutes.
哈佛研究发现，一天看超过两小时电视就会增加过早死、心脏病以及第二型糖尿病的风险。看电视的消极影响似乎和久坐的坏处重叠，但实际上看电视比单纯久坐带来的危害更大。《纽约时报》上的报道称，对于25岁以后的观众而言，每看一小时电视会减少他们21.8分钟的生命。

5. You're eating too much unhealthy food
你吃了太多不健康的食物

Perhaps this sounds obvious, but the truth is that so many of us continue to do it. As far as what foods to especially avoid, eating red meat seems to shorten life expectancy by as much as 20 percent when eating extra portions.
这个听起来很显而易见，但大多数人还是会去吃。有些食物是需要特别注意避免食用的，比如跟其他食物相比，多吃额外分量的红肉会缩短20%的生命。

6. You're still looking for a job
你还在找工作

Being unemployed can increase a person's risk of premature death by 63 percent, according to findings by Canadian researchers after analyzing 40 years of data from 20 million people in 15 countries.Another found that older people who lost their jobs during the recession could have seen their lifespan decrease by as many as three years.
加拿大研究员通过对15个国家2千万人群40年的调查发现，待业会增加63%过早死的风险。还有研究发现大萧条期间失业的老年人生命会缩短大概3年。

7. You're dealing with a long commute
你的上下班通勤很漫长

Commutes of about an hour have been found to increase stress and have been linked to the same negative effects as sitting. Long commutes also reduce the likelihood that individuals will consistently participate in health related activities.
一个小时的通勤时间会增加压力，和久坐带来的坏处不相上下。过远的上下班路途还会减少我们进行健康锻炼的可能性。

8. You're putting up with annoying co-workers
你在忍受烦人的同事

Missing out on strong connections with your co-workers can also potentially mean missing out on a longer life. According to researchers at Tel Aviv University, Peer social support, which could represent how well a participant is socially integrated in his or her employment context, is a potent predictor of the risk of all causes of mortality.
和同事没有建立良好的关系也可能意味着减少生命。以色列特拉维夫大学的研究员发现，同事们的社交支持，同时可以反映出个体在工作环境中的社交完整性，也是对死亡率产生影响的一部分原因所在。

9. You're not sleeping enough (or maybe too much?)
睡得不够（或睡太多？）

Harvard Medical School points out that research has shown that life expectancies significantly decrease in subjects who average less than five or more than nine hours a night.
哈佛医学院的研究表明，一天睡眠少于五小时或多于九小时会增加死亡率。

Most of us suffer from too little rather than too much sleep, but research suggests there truly is a sleep "sweet spot" -- at least if you're primarily concerned about living for as long as possible.
大部分人都是睡得太少，而非睡得太多，研究建议如果你真的希望自己能长寿的话，还是每天保证有个好觉吧。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 35楼  发表于: 2014-09-04 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
摧毁意志力的四样东西 Four Things That Undermine Your Willpower

Willpower is the ability to inhibit an impulse or desire. It is threatened when an immediate pleasure is in competition with a long-term goal. We want to eat the doughnut, put another dollar in the slot machine, have one more drink, or tell off the boss, but know in the long run these may not be the best decisions. Pigging out right now will create problems for me later, but I really want to, so what should I do? Sometimes you cave, other times you hold strong. Willpower is not a constant. It is not the case that you either have it or you don’t, rather it is the case that sometimes you have it and sometimes you don’t. The big question is this: what makes us cave and what makes us strong? In this post I will discuss the 4 most important reasons we cave. By avoiding these traps, you will more easily exercise your willpower, which will move you closer to achieving what you really want in life.
意志力就是能抑制冲动和欲望的能力。当短暂的满足感与长期的目标对抗时，那是很威胁人的。我们很想吃油炸圈饼，往自助售货机上再投一美元，再来一杯饮料，或者指派老板为你服务。一时放纵大吃特吃会给你带来很多后续问题，但当时确实忍不住。那我该怎么办呐？有时你会放纵，有时会意志坚定，意志力不是永恒不变的。它不是一件你一直拥有的或者一直未曾拥有过的东西，而是有时你能掌控它，有时却失去它。关键的问题是什么让我们变得堕落而又是什么让我们坚定。在这篇文章里，我想谈谈使我们堕落的关键的四个原因。通过避免这些陷阱，你会更容易增强自己的意志力，更易实现生活中我们所追求的目标。

1. Psychological Pain—Stress, depression, anger, and anxiety are the “pain” emotions. Just like physical pain, we are highly motivated to escape psychological pain. If you touch a hot stove, you will immediately and instinctively withdraw your hand. We just as readily and instinctively withdraw from psychological pain, only it is never as easy as just removing your hand from heat. Immediate pleasures are very alluring in moments of pain because they take on one additional purpose—they take the edge off the pain. Pain doubles the power of immediate pleasure, making you very vulnerable to failures of willpower. The research literature consistently shows that psychological pain is the most significant factor affecting loss of control across all pleasure-seeking behaviors, whether it is drinking, smoking, eating, gambling, sex, drugs, etc. If you have a vice, pain will put you in the car and drive you to it. If you know someone who is spinning out of control, you can bet they are engulfed in pain that they are desperately attempting to escape. If you are stuck in a cycle of psychological pain, focus on getting to the source of your pain or else it will gradually erode your self-control.
1、心理上的伤痛——压力，绝望，愤怒，焦虑是感情上的几种伤痛。正如身体上的伤痛一样，我们极力地去避免心灵上的伤痛。如果你无意触碰到烤炉，你会立即本能地缩回手。同样，我们只是本能地从心理痛苦中抽身而去，但是永远不可能像遇热而收缩回来的手那么简单。短暂的欢愉是非常吸引人的，因为它们被附加了额外的目的—-消除痛苦。痛苦能成倍地增加你对那短暂快乐的渴望。在你毫无戒备的时候趁虚而入，毅力巨无从谈起。调查一致认为，心理上的痛苦是大多数人在寻欢作乐这些行为上失控的主要原因，像酗酒，抽烟，贪吃，赌博，滥性，吸毒等。如果你染上这些恶习，痛苦会使你失去理智，并让你陷入其中不可自拔。如果你认识的某些人茫然不知所措，失去控制，你可以确信他们已经完全被痛苦所吞噬，并且他们在拼命地挣扎逃脱。如果你深陷情感的苦海中，那就赶紧集中精力找到痛苦的根源，否则，它会慢慢侵蚀你的自制力。

2. Deprivation—Deprivation is a prolonged state of being restricted from something that is highly desirable. The old adage, absence makes the heart grow fonder, is true in many senses. This is precisely why strict diets that have forbidden foods almost always fail. Eventually, we cave. Why? Deprivation increases the power of what we desire. The tension between the immediate pleasure and long-term consequence tips in favor of the immediate pleasure, making that negotiation more difficult. What to do? Moderation is key but be aware of the fine line between moderation and indulgence. Moderation doesn’t mean that you should consume every unhealthy food you can think of in moderation (e.g., donuts, pizza, cheeseburgers, candy, cookies, etc) because if one truly ate this way they could be eating unhealthy foods all day long. The object is to practice moderation for the entirety of unhealthy foods. Eat healthy almost always, but put nothing off limits or you risk empowering your temptations. (Note that moderation often does not work in the case of addictive behaviors. In that case, abstinence may be necessary for feelings of deprivation to eventually cease.)
2、剥夺。剥夺就是被限制，被强制远离内心所极度渴望的事物的一种持久的状态。有句格言这样说：“越得不到，你内心就越渴望得到”。在很多情况下，经验证是正确的。这就是严格的节食方案通常失败的原因。最终我们还是屈服了，堕落了。为什么呐？禁止令增强了我们追求的欲望。短暂的愉悦与长久的后果间的拉力更倾向与即时的放松，这使意志力增强的这个过程更为困难。究竟该该怎么办呐？把握适度是关键，留意适度与放任之间的这个界限。适度可不是放任你吃光你只要能想得到的所有垃圾食品，(例如油炸圈饼，乳酪汉堡，糖果，饼干等)。因为如果一个人以这种方式去饮食，那他整天都消耗掉这么多没营养的食品。我们的目标就是锻炼能在这些没营养的东西面前保持一个度。经常吃健康食品，但是偶尔也可以把所有的限制抛之脑后，或者是好好地享用引诱你的那些食品(注意适度在上了瘾的行为上是不起作用的。在那种情况下，为了达到最后的目的，节制是很有必要的。)

3. Availability—Resisting chocolate cake is a cinch when you are stranded on a desert island. I’m a willpower pro on a desert island! When temptations are not available, willpower is a nonissue. Nobody eats ice cream they don’t have. Design your life like that desert island, by distancing yourself from the things that push your pleasure buttons. Get them out of the house. The presence of temptations not only increases your failure rate but also distracts you by forcing you to spend energy on a constant mental struggle when your attention could be better spent on…well…life!
3、可行性。当你被困在荒岛上时，忍受巧克力蛋糕的诱惑是容易的事。我赞成“孤岛训练法”来增强个人意志力。当诱惑不存在时，毅力就无从谈起。没人会吃他们不可能拥有的冰淇淋。假设你在荒岛上那样来规划自己的生活。疏远那些刺激你快乐神经的东西，把他们清理出去。因为那些诱惑的存在，不仅会提高你自制失败的几率，还会使你分心，通过强迫你经常在心理斗争上花费精力，而你的这些精力若花在生活上，会让你过上更好的生活。

4. Rationalization and Bargaining—This one can be the trickiest to overcome. We tell ourselves our best lies. And we are the biggest believers of our own BS. I mentioned above that willpower is when the immediate pleasure is in competition with a long-term consequence. We use rationalization to talk ourselves out of that being the current state. We argue that there will be no negative long-term consequence so there is no need to resist the current temptation. What is one doughnut? A few drinks isn’t going to hurt anything! I’m not suggesting you live a life that is lacking in indulgences, but be careful that rationalization can be used at too many decision points, slowly eroding your ability to ever resist. Bargaining works the same way. We strike a deal with ourselves that we will work to offset the consequences later. “I’m going to eat and drink too much tonight, but it will be ok because I’m going to workout extra this weekend.” If you find yourself often promising to clean up your messes later, you are bargaining. The problem is that “later” is also filled with temptations. The messes compound and the time to clean them up just never comes. I recommend paying all debts in advance. If you know you are going to consume 1,000 more calories at dinner than usual, make a plan to have accounted for it before the time comes (a reasonable plan that involves both exercise and diet, not by starving yourself in advance). By planning in advance, there is no issue of willpower, no need to bargain, and no mess to clean up. The good news is that each and every one of us has control over our willpower—if we want it. Take control of your willpower or else it may take control of you.
4、合理化和讨价还价。这一条是最难克服的。我们经常会给自己找很多借口。其实我们自己最了解自己。上述已提到：“毅力是一时之乐与后续结果较量的产物。所以我们采取合理化方法告诉自己要走出那个难以抉择的困境。我们有时会与自己内心做斗争。认为没有消极的持续长久的后果，所以我们没必要拒绝现时的诱惑与快乐。一个油炸圈饼能怎样？偶尔的饮酒不会伤害我们的身子。我不是要求你们过没有纵欢的生活，但是要注意合理的松懈不能被频繁地作为你的借口，它会慢慢抵消你的能力直至不在反抗。讨价还价以同样的方式起作用。常与自己妥协，经常会这样安慰自己，先放纵一下，之后再把这个损失弥补过来。今晚我要大吃特吃，那没事的，因为周末要加班。如果你发现自己经常给自己许诺：“我之后会好好清理脏乱不堪的杂物。”那么，你就是在讨价还价。但问题是之后的生活也将充满无穷的诱惑。混乱妥协与你，但是清理它们的时候永远不会到。我建议提前还清自己欠下的债。如果想在晚饭的时候消耗掉1000卡路里，那就在那之前就做好准备。(可行的计划包括锻炼和节食，但不能让自己挨饿)提前做好准备，就无所谓意志力的强弱了。也没必要去跟自己讨价还价，也没有一大堆的杂务等你去处理。长而久之，有一个好消息就是每个人都可以实现自我控制，只要我们愿意，自己去控制自己的毅力，否则你将受制于它。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 36楼  发表于: 2014-09-04 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
如何原谅那些伤害过你的人 How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt you before

Man is a social animal and ought to socialize, but with company around, there are times when egos tend to mingle along as well. This could result in exchanges of words that could put a strain on relationships. Continuous bashing of words with an individual could turn ugly and lead to hatred.
人都是社交动物，无法离开社会而生存，然而一旦周围有了同伴，自尊心往往会作祟，这就会导致言语交际时引发的紧张关系。持续用言语打击别人可能会导致关系恶化，甚至招来仇恨。

The impact of hatred
仇恨带来的影响

Hating someone is injurious to one’s own health since it causes anger within, and this annoyance can take a toll on one’s health if it builds too high.
讨厌一个人对自身的健康也有坏处，因为体内总有一股怒气，如果积压的怒气过多就会对身体带来伤害了。

Why Forgive?
为什么选择原谅？

Mental balance applies towards good health. Since health is wealth, forgiveness is the way to go. Forgiving someone is like having a mental balance by letting go of any resentment or grudges towards an individual, which will help to clear the conscience and is very crucial for resolving relationships.
精神的平和对可以带来健康。健康是无价之宝，那为何不选择原谅呢。原谅别人就好比放下一些怨恨，达到精神的平和，可以净化心灵同时解决关系危机。

There are a couple of C’s involved in burying the hatchet:
下面这些C字关键词是你“放下仇恨”时应该做到的：

Categorize
归类

Many a time, we are not aware of why we hate someone and continue to walk on a path that disturbs one’s mental and physical well-being. We should be able to recognize the pattern that arises when we come across a certain human being. Once we are able to categorize the pattern, we can move to the next step.
很多时候，我们都没有意识到到底为什么讨厌这个人，却仍固执的怨恨着，扰乱着自己的精神和身体健康。遇到某个人的时候我们需要能够归类到底该采取何种方式对待他，一旦能够归类了，我们就可以到下一个步骤。

Cause
缘由

We should try to search within ourselves with regard to what and how the individual has hurt us, and why we hate them. Finding a cause helps us to bring closure within ourselves, and we can open up to discussion within the self, and even with the person whom we hate.
我们要从自身出发找出到底这个人是如何以及怎么伤害到我们的，以及我们为什么讨厌他们。找到根源能让自己停止纠结下去，我们可以和别人甚至和讨厌的那个人去开诚布公的讨论。

Confront
面对

Coming face-to-face with the person whom one hates is a challenge, but confronting the individual will lead to peace of mind and a sound sleep at night. Brave up and face that person.
和讨厌的人面对面的确是个挑战，但面对别人时，头脑会趋于冷静，晚上也会睡个好觉。所以鼓起勇气去面对这个人吧。

Conversation
对话

Once in the presence of the person who is hated, start a conversation and communicate about what bothers you. Being frank about what and how that person’s behavior irks oneself will help both discuss issues, and will eventually lead to clarification.
如果你讨厌的人出现了，不妨两个人好好聊聊，一起说说到底什么惹到你了。坦白的说说这个人的什么行为如何惹到了你，这对讨论以及最终解除误会都有很大的帮助。

Contrite
悔悟

Apologizing to the disliked person can do wonders for one’s physical and mental being, bringing happiness and contentment. Keeping one’s egos aside and expressing remorse is the key to forgiveness.
对不喜欢的那个人道歉对人的精神和身体会带来幸福和满足感，很神奇的哦！把什么自尊放到一边去，表达出悔恨才是原谅的核心。

Be Compassionate with yourself
对自己有恻隐之心

Once you forgive a person, be patient and kind to your self. Time is a big healer, thus give time to heal—physically and emotionally. Express your pain and anxiety, and do not keep it bottled up. Appreciate the goodness of people around you, and visualize a new life with positive energy each day. This will help to shape each day free of pain and suffering.
一旦原谅了别人，对自己有点耐心，也对自己好一点。时间是伟大的治愈师，会慢慢治愈你身体和精神上的创伤。把自己的痛苦和焦虑都表达出来，不要憋在心里。感激周围人对你的好，每天用积极的态度看待新的生活。这样能有效帮助你慢慢从痛苦中解脱出来。

Caution
谨慎

Once you made amends, set your boundaries to avoid repeating history so that you do not get hurt again. Be sure to keep a good distance from the person who triggered chaos in your mind and made you lose your sleep at night. Since we cannot change an individual, it’s smart to keep away from them.
一旦有了教训，你需要设定底线来避免历史重演，这样才能保证你不会再受到伤害。和那些会让你头脑发晕失眠的人保持点距离吧。既然我们无法改变一个人，不如聪明点远离他们。

Humans want to walk on the forbidden path, and there are chances that we can get attracted to people who have raised our blood pressure previously. Thus, retrain your thinking by wishing well about the person whom you just forgave. Hope the best for him while being intelligent and making wise decisions with respect to your mental well-being.
人们总喜欢选择走不该走的路，也有可能我们会爱上先前让我们血管爆棚的人。不管怎样，换个思考方式，祝福那个你刚刚原谅的人吧。为了自己的精神健康，真心去祝福他真的是智慧和明智的决定。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 37楼  发表于: 2014-09-04 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
6件简单小事让生活更有意义

Let’s look back all these years you’ve gone through, what have you done for your life? Are you spending your time wisely to make your life worthwhile? Neal Wu shared some ways we should do to make our short time of life meaningful on Quora, find out what you need to do next:
让我们回顾一下这些年来你在生活中都经历了什么？你都做了什么？你做到了充分有效利用时间让你的生活过得有价值有意义吗？尼尔-吴（Neal Wu）在Quora网站上分享了一些让我们的生活在短时间内充满意义的方法，对照一下看看你接下来需要做到的：

1. Make friends as opposed to networking
交朋友但不只是社交

Your friends will go a lot further than the professional contacts you make, especially since only one of the two groups is invested in your personal happiness.
多和你的朋友沟通交流比你联系专业人士交流探讨要强，尤其是专业人士和朋友圈子这两组人群，只有你的朋友圈子才是你个人幸福的投资方向。

2. Become an expert by learning as much as you can and deeply seeking out the things you are curious about
尽量通过多学习的方式成为专家，并对自己所好奇的方面执着地探求

Find the things you enjoy and practice the skills you want to develop. If you can achieve expertise then it will be easy to obtain an audience.
找到你喜欢做的事情并争取达到熟能生巧的地步。如果你能达到专业的高度，那么就会很容易赢得观众。

3. Volunteer to help out those less fortunate
自愿帮助那些不幸的人

In the process you will gain a ton of new perspective and will better understand other people’s real problems. In a society that always looks upward, these people are being forgotten easily.
在这个过程中你会获得多个新的视角，会更加理解别人所遇到的实际问题。在我们当今这个非常势力的社会中，这个人群很容易被遗忘。

4. Become as independent as possible
尽量自立

Even though you work in a big company, you should constantly make small steps to reduce your dependence on your job. Write a book, build an app, or start a small business on the side. Release your inner entrepreneur.
即使你在一家大公司工作，你也应该经常做出小小的改变，减少依赖工作的程度，让自己不那么依赖这份工作。写本书、编个小程序或做个小生意。让你内心的企业家潜质充分释放出来。

5. Don’t spend too much time worrying about your personal brand
不要在你的个人品牌力上浪费太多时间

Accomplish things, and the recognition will follow.
把事情做好，大家心中都有一杆秤。

6. Stop treating life as a competition and do things for their own sake
别把生活当成比赛，做事只是为了自身利益

Genuine interest should be what drives you to improve yourself, rather than a desire to beat others. Find a community of people who are interested in the same things as you do, and drive each other to keep improving.
你是真心想着要完善自己才做的，并不是希望打败别人。和感兴趣的人一起做，这样会互相带动、精益求精。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 38楼  发表于: 2014-09-06 0
Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
25岁才算成年 伙伴们勿忘青春尚在

New guidance for psychologists will acknowledge that adolescence now effectively runs up until the age of 25 for the purposes of treating young people. So is this the new cut-off point for adulthood?
心理学家新指南中指出，在治疗年轻人时，青春期的划分截止到25岁结束。这是否意味着25岁是成年的新分界点呢？

"The idea that suddenly at 18 you're an adult just doesn't quite ring true," says child psychologist Laverne Antrobus, who works at London's Tavistock Clinic.“
“认为满18岁就进入成年其实是不恰当的。”伦敦塔维斯托克诊所的儿童心理学家拉弗-安特罗伯斯表示。

"My experience of young people is that they still need quite a considerable amount of support and help beyond that age."
“从我和年轻人接触的经历来看，18岁以上的年轻人仍然需要很多支持与帮助。”

"We are becoming much more aware and appreciating development beyond [the age of 18] and I think it's a really good initiative," says Antrobus, who believes we often rush through childhood, wanting our youngsters to achieve key milestones very quickly.
“我们也越来越关注18岁以上年轻人的成长，我觉得这是一个很棒的创举。”安特罗伯斯说。在她看来，人们太急于摆脱童年，巴不得在青年时期就成就大业。

The new guidance is to help ensure that when young people reach the age of 18 they do not fall through the gaps in the health and education system. The change follows developments in our understanding of emotional maturity, hormonal development and particularly brain activity.
新指南旨在帮助年满18岁的年轻人跨过健康与教育这道坎。此次变更重在强调对情感成熟、荷尔蒙发展、尤其是大脑活动的理解。

"Neuroscience has made these massive advances where we now don't think that things just stop at a certain age, that actually there's evidence of brain development well into early twenties and that actually the time at which things stop is much later than we first thought," says Antrobus.“
“神经科学已经取得重大进步。现在看来，有些问题并不是到了某个年龄就会自动停止的；事实表明，在二十出头的年纪，大脑还处于成长状态，定型时期远比人们原先认为的晚。”安特罗伯斯说。

There are three stages of adolescence - early adolescence from 12-14 years, middle adolescence from 15-17 years and late adolescence from 18 years and over.
青春期有三个阶段：12-14岁为早期，15-17岁为中期，18岁以上为后期。

Neuroscience has shown that a young person's cognitive development continues into this later stage and that their emotional maturity, self-image and judgement will be affected until the prefrontal cortex of the brain has fully developed.
神经科学表明，年轻人的认知发展会一直持续到后期阶段，而在大脑前额皮层完全发育前，他们的情感成熟、自我形象和判断都会受到影响。

Alongside brain development, hormonal activity is also continuing well into the early twenties says Antrobus.
安特罗伯斯还说，除了大脑发展，荷尔蒙代谢也会一直持续到二十出头的年纪。

"A number of children and young people I encounter between the age of 16 and 18, the flurry of hormonal activity in them is so great that to imagine that's going to settle down by the time they get to 18 really is a misconception," says Antrobus.“
“许多我见过的16-18岁年轻人的荷尔蒙代谢都异常活跃，如果认为他们满18岁就会自动安稳消停，那可大错特错 了。”安特罗伯斯说。

She says that some adolescents may want to stay longer with their families because they need more support during these formative years and that it is important for parents to realise that all young people do not develop at the same pace.
她还说，有些青少年希望能多跟家人呆在一起，那是因为在成长定型阶段，他们需要更多支持；所以父母应该明白，青春期成长是因 人而异的。

But is there any danger we could be breeding a nation of young people reluctant to leave adolescence behind? TV sitcoms are littered with such comic stereotypes of juvenile adults
但是，如果下一代都迟迟不愿离开青春期，那会有什么样的弊端呢？情景喜剧中到处都能看到这种诙谐的长不大的人。

Then there are those characters who want to break away from their overbearing or protective parents or guardians and reach adulthood, but struggle to cut the family ties.
当然，也有年轻人渴望摆脱过于约束或宠溺的父母或监护人，希望尽快跨入成年，可也只能选择脱离家庭关系。

Frank Furedi, professor of sociology at the University of Kent, says we have infantilized young people and this has led to a growing number of young men and women in their late 20s still living at home.
弗兰克-福瑞迪是肯特大学的社会学教授，他说：人们总是把年轻人当孩子看待，结果造成很多年轻人到了20大几岁还住在父母家里。

"Often it's claimed it's for economic reasons, but actually it's not really for that," says Furedi. "There is a loss of the aspiration for independence and striking out on your own. When I went to university it would have been a social death to have been seen with your parents, whereas now it's the norm.
“通常借口总是经济原因，但其实并非如此，” 福瑞迪说，“对独立自主、自立生活的渴望大大削弱。我上大学那会儿，要是还跟父母住一起会被人耻笑，但现在这种情况已经屡见不鲜了。”

"So you have this kind of cultural shift which basically means that adolescence extends into your late twenties and that can hamper you in all kinds of ways, and I think what psychology does is it inadvertently reinforces that kind of passivity and powerlessness and immaturity and normalises that."
“所以才会出现这种文化转变——青春期甚至延长到了二十大几岁，而这有可能妨碍个人成长。我认为心理学无形中强化了这种被动、无助和不成熟，并且使这种现象普遍化。”

Furedi says that this infantilised culture has intensified a sense of "passive dependence" which can lead to difficulties in conducting mature adult relationships. There's evidence of this culture even in our viewing preferences.
福瑞迪还说，这种“孩子化”的文化加剧了“被动依赖”风气，给进入成熟成年期造成了困难。从人们的影视喜好上就能看出这种文化的盛行。

He does not agree that the modern world is far more difficult for young people to navigate.
福瑞迪并不认为现代社会已经艰难到让年轻人无法自立生存。

"I think that what it is, is not that the world has become crueller, it's just that we hold our children back from a very early age. When they're 11, 12, 13 we don't let them out on their own. When they're 14, 15, we hover all over them and insulate them from real-life experience. We treat university students the way we used to treat school pupils, so I think it's that type of cumulative effect of infantilisation which is responsible for this."
“我觉得问题并不是世界变得越来越残酷，而是我们从小就把孩子呵护得太紧。小孩到了11、12岁时还不敢放开让他们独自外出；到了14、15岁时，我们更是严加防范，把他们与现实生活隔离开来。我们现在对待大学生的方式就像以前对待小学生一样。所以在我看来，这就是‘孩子化’风气的症结所在。”
回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 39楼  发表于: 2014-09-06 0

Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ
母亲给孩子的人生四课

School started yesterday and my first grader, Sweet P, is now a second grader and I am no longer allowed to walk her to the bus stop. But I can, I am told, stand at the bottom of the driveway and watch her ride by. I am also welcome to wave and she may wave back.
新学期又开始了，我的孩子也该上2年级了，我不能再送她到汽车站达车上学了。我唯一能做的是在路口等待载着她的公车开过。我会对她招手，她也对我招手。

I miss her already. She's headed into another new adventure. And so I am I. Life is like that. Expansive, with new skills to develop, new lessons to learn.
我停止不了对女儿的想念。我知道她这是她成长路上新的探索，对我而言又何尝不是呢？人生本来如此，无论在那个阶段，我们都需要不断学习。

Today I'm thinking about some of the lessons I am teaching my daughter.
今天，我想起了我教女儿成长的一些知识。

These are the basics. They are my lessons, too.
这些知识很基础，然而对于我来说却也是众生收益的。

Lesson #1 -- Be kind, even when the other kid doesn't deserve it.
第一课——友善，无论对谁都要有颗友善的心

Kindness and compassion, Sweet P, can change the world and often it's the people who seem the least deserving who need both the most.
我亲爱的宝贝，友善和富有同情心可以改变世界。很多人貌似冷酷，事实上他们也许是最需要友善和同情的。

One day, when you were in preschool, I watched you through the narrow little window in the door to your classroom and saw a punk kid knock you over. Every cell in me wanted to bust through that door, leap over the little table, grab that kid by the back of his overalls and haul him off to juvie.
有一天，我到幼儿园来看你，我透过窗户看到一个小孩把你撞翻了。我好想冲进你的教室，跳过那些小桌子椅子，从背后抓起那个撞翻你的小男孩，把他送进少管所。

But, he was three and you were three and I thought, well, maybe a little push doesn't qualify as strike one in the criminal justice system's penal code. I'm also pretty sure I couldn't actually leap over the table. So, I let it go.
但是，我又想，她和你一样，也才三岁。也许孩子间的推推嚷嚷不至于将其定义为犯罪吧。与此同时，我也不能真的冲进教室。所以，我选择了放手。

I'm learning to do that a lot in this life, to let go. It doesn't help to hang on to the hurt or judgment. It doesn't work to blame or criticize. Those approaches only serve to keep you stuck. But compassion is freeing. It uplifts both you and the person you are sharing it with. When you act with compassion you are living from your highest potential and connecting with your greatest self. The more you can do that, the better you'll feel in this life.
在我的生活里，我也尝试过很多次试着放手。虽然，学会放手不会减轻生活里的伤痛或是改变什么，也不会让你的情绪得以发泄，也许你任然会被生活所困。然而，富有同情心是一种释放。会让你和感受到你同情心的人得到精神上的洗礼。当你对一切都附有同情心时，你会发挥自己最大潜力。你也会在生活终觉得自己有无限的正能量。

Lesson #2 -- Don't let others determine how you feel about your life.
第二课——不要让被人为你的人生做决定

When you are accountable for your life -- and all the actions and emotions and beliefs that come with it -- Sweet P, you get to create your experience. Sure, you're going to encounter snarky people and disappointing outcomes, but you always, always get to decide how you'll respond to those circumstances.
对你自己的生活负责——亲爱的宝贝，你生活里的行为，你的情绪和信仰都要对自己负责任。当然，在人生中，你会遇到很刻薄的人和很无奈的事，但是你要做那个对自己所处情况有担当的人。

They don't have to be setbacks. Don't shy away from doing what you want to because you're afraid, or people are difficult, or it feels too hard. Instead, lead with compassion and then get busy creating the experience you want.
自己做决定不见得会失败。不要因为害怕而不敢做决定。每个人情况不一样，感觉也不一样。所以，用你的有第一课做引导，开创自己的人生。

Your dreams aren't dependent on anyone else -- though many people will influence them along the way. Be open, but be determined. You get to decide how to live this moment and then the next. When you know this, anything is possible.
实现梦想不能依靠任何人——尽管在这个过程里很多人会影响你。要从谏如流，但自己拿主意。要明确你的近期目标和长远目标。当目标明确了，梦想就会照进现实。

Lesson #3 -- Say "thank you." Slowly. Always.
第三课——学会说谢谢

Feel free to practice this lesson around the house. Try this:
宝贝，你可以在自己的房间里练习这一课, 你可以这样说：

"Thank you for dinner, Mama."
“谢谢你为我做晚餐，妈妈。”

"Thank you for finding my coat behind the couch."
“谢谢你在沙发后面找到我的衣服”

"Thank you for not wearing your pajamas to the bus stop, Mama."
“谢谢你没有穿穿睡衣来公车站接我，妈妈。”

When someone helps you out, stop, look them in the eye and say "thank you." This allows you to connect with the others. It will also remind you of all the good stuff you have in your life.
当有人帮助了你，你要放下手中的事，真诚的看着他们的眼睛道谢。这是你和别人讲话的礼貌。也可以提醒你自己人生中存在美好的事物。

It's easy to get sidetracked and whiny about all the things going wrong, but thank you is a way of remembering all that is right.
当事情不顺利的时候，我们容易走弯路，也容易变得喋喋不休的抱怨。但是，当你感激别人的时候，也提醒了你自己什么是对的。

We can have disappointment and sadness and still appreciate the beauty of the leaves. We can be angry and frustrated and be grateful for the people who love us. When you practice gratitude often, constantly, consistently, your days will be brighter.
我们有时候会失望，有事后会伤心，但任然期望美好的事物；我们有时会愤怒，有事会沮丧，然欣慰还有爱我么的家人。但你一直坚持感激这些美好的事物存在，你每天就会过得更阳光。

Lesson #4 -- Be who you are, it is enough.
第四课——做你自己

Second grade is going to have some messy moments, no doubt. No matter how old you get, you'll always have times when you feel inadequate.
毫无疑问，二年级会遇到比比一年级更多的难题。但无论你多大，在你没准备好以前，总会有时间。

But if you show up, do your best and be who you are -- I promise you, it will be enough. You have all that you need to recover when your feelings are hurt, you have all the talent and imagination and intelligence you need to make a positive contribution -- you already do it every day. You are amazing. We all are. Look for that in yourself. And when you feel confused and hurt and can't see your own awesome -- come on home. I'll hold you and hug you. It really can be that simple.
但如果你想展示你自己，你应该做到最好，并且保持本真。我想你保证，这样就足够了。相信我，当你受到伤害，你会学会自我康复；当你想奋斗，你的聪明才智会帮你实现理想。你每一天的成长都告诉我，你是多么不可思议的一个孩子。你要学会看到自己的优点。当你在生活中困惑了，受伤了或是不能欣赏到自己的优势了。亲爱的宝贝，你只需要回家。我会抱你在怀中，为你排忧解难。就这么简单。

It is powerful to sit with the ones who love you. Find those people. Care for them. Go to them and make room for them to come to you. Know that real love isn't meant to hurt.
坐在爱你的人身旁你会永远无穷力量。同时，用爱帮助那些需要帮助的人，要知道，真爱无敌。

These are the basic lessons, Sweet P. When we stay close to them they help us find peace, joy and a harmony in life that carries far beyond second grade.
这些都是人生中最基本的知识我的孩子。当你理解这些真谛，你的生活就会安详快乐，带你走过年年岁岁。

回复 引用 新鲜事
顶端
« 返回列表
发帖 回复