《马丁·伊登》——   Martin Eden  中英对照版【完结】_派派后花园

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[Novel] 《马丁·伊登》——   Martin Eden  中英对照版【完结】

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CHAPTER  20


The desire to write was stirring in Martin once more. Stories and poems were springing into spontaneous creation in his brain, and he made notes of them against the future time when he would give them expression. But he did not write. This was his little vacation; he had resolved to devote it to rest and love, and in both matters he prospered. He was soon spilling over with vitality, and each day he saw Ruth, at the moment of meeting, she experienced the old shock of his strength and health.




"Be careful," her mother warned her once again. "I am afraid you are seeing too much of Martin Eden."




But Ruth laughed from security. She was sure of herself, and in a few days he would be off to sea. Then, by the time he returned, she would be away on her visit East. There was a magic, however, in the strength and health of Martin. He, too, had been told of her contemplated Eastern trip, and he felt the need for haste. Yet he did not know how to make love to a girl like Ruth. Then, too, he was handicapped by the possession of a great fund of experience with girls and women who had been absolutely different from her. They had known about love and life and flirtation, while she knew nothing about such things. Her prodigious innocence appalled him, freezing on his lips all ardors of speech, and convincing him, in spite of himself, of his own unworthiness. Also he was handicapped in another way. He had himself never been in love before. He had liked women in that turgid past of his, and been fascinated by some of them, but he had not known what it was to love them. He had whistled in a masterful, careless way, and they had come to him. They had been diversions, incidents, part of the game men play, but a small part at most. And now, and for the first time, he was a suppliant, tender and timid and doubting. He did not know the way of love, nor its speech, while he was frightened at his loved one's clear innocence.




In the course of getting acquainted with a varied world, whirling on through the ever changing phases of it, he had learned a rule of conduct which was to the effect that when one played a strange game, he should let the other fellow play first. This had stood him in good stead a thousand times and trained him as an observer as well. He knew how to watch the thing that was strange, and to wait for a weakness, for a place of entrance, to divulge itself. It was like sparring for an opening in fist-fighting. And when such an opening came, he knew by long experience to play for it and to play hard.




So he waited with Ruth and watched, desiring to speak his love but not daring. He was afraid of shocking her, and he was not sure of himself. Had he but known it, he was following the right course with her. Love came into the world before articulate speech, and in its own early youth it had learned ways and means that it had never forgotten. It was in this old, primitive way that Martin wooed Ruth. He did not know he was doing it at first, though later he divined it. The touch of his hand on hers was vastly more potent than any word he could utter, the impact of his strength on her imagination was more alluring than the printed poems and spoken passions of a thousand generations of lovers. Whatever his tongue could express would have appealed, in part, to her judgment; but the touch of hand, the fleeting contact, made its way directly to her instinct. Her judgment was as young as she, but her instincts were as old as the race and older. They had been young when love was young, and they were wiser than convention and opinion and all the new-born things. So her judgment did not act. There was no call upon it, and she did not realize the strength of the appeal Martin made from moment to moment to her love-nature. That he loved her, on the other hand, was as clear as day, and she consciously delighted in beholding his love-manifestations - the glowing eyes with their tender lights, the trembling hands, and the never failing swarthy flush that flooded darkly under his sunburn. She even went farther, in a timid way inciting him, but doing it so delicately that he never suspected, and doing it half-consciously, so that she scarcely suspected herself. She thrilled with these proofs of her power that proclaimed her a woman, and she took an Eve-like delight in tormenting him and playing upon him.




Tongue-tied by inexperience and by excess of ardor, wooing unwittingly and awkwardly, Martin continued his approach by contact. The touch of his hand was pleasant to her, and something deliciously more than pleasant. Martin did not know it, but he did know that it was not distasteful to her. Not that they touched hands often, save at meeting and parting; but that in handling the bicycles, in strapping on the books of verse they carried into the hills, and in conning the pages of books side by side, there were opportunities for hand to stray against hand. And there were opportunities, too, for her hair to brush his cheek, and for shoulder to touch shoulder, as they leaned together over the beauty of the books. She smiled to herself at vagrant impulses which arose from nowhere and suggested that she rumple his hair; while he desired greatly, when they tired of reading, to rest his head in her lap and dream with closed eyes about the future that was to be theirs. On Sunday picnics at Shellmound Park and Schuetzen Park, in the past, he had rested his head on many laps, and, usually, he had slept soundly and selfishly while the girls shaded his face from the sun and looked down and loved him and wondered at his lordly carelessness of their love. To rest his head in a girl's lap had been the easiest thing in the world until now, and now he found Ruth's lap inaccessible and impossible. Yet it was right here, in his reticence, that the strength of his wooing lay. It was because of this reticence that he never alarmed her. Herself fastidious and timid, she never awakened to the perilous trend of their intercourse. Subtly and unaware she grew toward him and closer to him, while he, sensing the growing closeness, longed to dare but was afraid.




Once he dared, one afternoon, when he found her in the darkened living room with a blinding headache.




"Nothing can do it any good," she had answered his inquiries. "And besides, I don't take headache powders. Doctor Hall won't permit me."




"I can cure it, I think, and without drugs," was Martin's answer. "I am not sure, of course, but I'd like to try. It's simply massage. I learned the trick first from the Japanese. They are a race of masseurs, you know. Then I learned it all over again with variations from the Hawaiians. They call it LOMI-LOMI. It can accomplish most of the things drugs accomplish and a few things that drugs can't."




Scarcely had his hands touched her head when she sighed deeply.




"That is so good," she said.




She spoke once again, half an hour later, when she asked, "Aren't you tired?"




The question was perfunctory, and she knew what the answer would be. Then she lost herself in drowsy contemplation of the soothing balm of his strength: Life poured from the ends of his fingers, driving the pain before it, or so it seemed to her, until with the easement of pain, she fell asleep and he stole away.




She called him up by telephone that evening to thank him.




"I slept until dinner," she said. "You cured me completely, Mr. Eden, and I don't know how to thank you."




He was warm, and bungling of speech, and very happy, as he replied to her, and there was dancing in his mind, throughout the telephone conversation, the memory of Browning and of sickly Elizabeth Barrett. What had been done could be done again, and he, Martin Eden, could do it and would do it for Ruth Morse. He went back to his room and to the volume of Spencer's "Sociology" lying open on the bed. But he could not read. Love tormented him and overrode his will, so that, despite all determination, he found himself at the little ink-stained table. The sonnet he composed that night was the first of a love-cycle of fifty sonnets which was completed within two months. He had the "Love-sonnets from the Portuguese" in mind as he wrote, and he wrote under the best conditions for great work, at a climacteric of living, in the throes of his own sweet love-madness.




The many hours he was not with Ruth he devoted to the "Love-cycle," to reading at home, or to the public reading-rooms, where he got more closely in touch with the magazines of the day and the nature of their policy and content. The hours he spent with Ruth were maddening alike in promise and in inconclusiveness. It was a week after he cured her headache that a moonlight sail on Lake Merritt was proposed by Norman and seconded by Arthur and Olney. Martin was the only one capable of handling a boat, and he was pressed into service. Ruth sat near him in the stern, while the three young fellows lounged amidships, deep in a wordy wrangle over "frat" affairs.




The moon had not yet risen, and Ruth, gazing into the starry vault of the sky and exchanging no speech with Martin, experienced a sudden feeling of loneliness. She glanced at him. A puff of wind was heeling the boat over till the deck was awash, and he, one hand on tiller and the other on main-sheet, was luffing slightly, at the same time peering ahead to make out the near-lying north shore. He was unaware of her gaze, and she watched him intently, speculating fancifully about the strange warp of soul that led him, a young man with signal powers, to fritter away his time on the writing of stories and poems foredoomed to mediocrity and failure.




Her eyes wandered along the strong throat, dimly seen in the starlight, and over the firm-poised head, and the old desire to lay her hands upon his neck came back to her. The strength she abhorred attracted her. Her feeling of loneliness became more pronounced, and she felt tired. Her position on the heeling boat irked her, and she remembered the headache he had cured and the soothing rest that resided in him. He was sitting beside her, quite beside her, and the boat seemed to tilt her toward him. Then arose in her the impulse to lean against him, to rest herself against his strength - a vague, half-formed impulse, which, even as she considered it, mastered her and made her lean toward him. Or was it the heeling of the boat? She did not know. She never knew. She knew only that she was leaning against him and that the easement and soothing rest were very good. Perhaps it had been the boat's fault, but she made no effort to retrieve it. She leaned lightly against his shoulder, but she leaned, and she continued to lean when he shifted his position to make it more comfortable for her.




It was a madness, but she refused to consider the madness. She was no longer herself but a woman, with a woman's clinging need; and though she leaned ever so lightly, the need seemed satisfied. She was no longer tired. Martin did not speak. Had he, the spell would have been broken. But his reticence of love prolonged it. He was dazed and dizzy. He could not understand what was happening. It was too wonderful to be anything but a delirium. He conquered a mad desire to let go sheet and tiller and to clasp her in his arms. His intuition told him it was the wrong thing to do, and he was glad that sheet and tiller kept his hands occupied and fended off temptation. But he luffed the boat less delicately, spilling the wind shamelessly from the sail so as to prolong the tack to the north shore. The shore would compel him to go about, and the contact would be broken. He sailed with skill, stopping way on the boat without exciting the notice of the wranglers, and mentally forgiving his hardest voyages in that they had made this marvellous night possible, giving him mastery over sea and boat and wind so that he could sail with her beside him, her dear weight against him on his shoulder.




When the first light of the rising moon touched the sail, illuminating the boat with pearly radiance, Ruth moved away from him. And, even as she moved, she felt him move away. The impulse to avoid detection was mutual. The episode was tacitly and secretly intimate. She sat apart from him with burning cheeks, while the full force of it came home to her. She had been guilty of something she would not have her brothers see, nor Olney see. Why had she done it? She had never done anything like it in her life, and yet she had been moonlight-sailing with young men before. She had never desired to do anything like it. She was overcome with shame and with the mystery of her own burgeoning womanhood. She stole a glance at Martin, who was busy putting the boat about on the other tack, and she could have hated him for having made her do an immodest and shameful thing. And he, of all men! Perhaps her mother was right, and she was seeing too much of him. It would never happen again, she resolved, and she would see less of him in the future. She entertained a wild idea of explaining to him the first time they were alone together, of lying to him, of mentioning casually the attack of faintness that had overpowered her just before the moon came up. Then she remembered how they had drawn mutually away before the revealing moon, and she knew he would know it for a lie.




In the days that swiftly followed she was no longer herself but a strange, puzzling creature, wilful over judgment and scornful of self-analysis, refusing to peer into the future or to think about herself and whither she was drifting. She was in a fever of tingling mystery, alternately frightened and charmed, and in constant bewilderment. She had one idea firmly fixed, however, which insured her security. She would not let Martin speak his love. As long as she did this, all would be well. In a few days he would be off to sea. And even if he did speak, all would be well. It could not be otherwise, for she did not love him. Of course, it would be a painful half hour for him, and an embarrassing half hour for her, because it would be her first proposal. She thrilled deliciously at the thought. She was really a woman, with a man ripe to ask for her in marriage. It was a lure to all that was fundamental in her sex. The fabric of her life, of all that constituted her, quivered and grew tremulous. The thought fluttered in her mind like a flame-attracted moth. She went so far as to imagine Martin proposing, herself putting the words into his mouth; and she rehearsed her refusal, tempering it with kindness and exhorting him to true and noble manhood. And especially he must stop smoking cigarettes. She would make a point of that. But no, she must not let him speak at all. She could stop him, and she had told her mother that she would. All flushed and burning, she regretfully dismissed the conjured situation. Her first proposal would have to be deferred to a more propitious time and a more eligible suitor.
创作的欲望又在马丁心里萌动。小说和诗歌从他脑子里蹦出,并自然形成。他把它们草草记下,准备以后写成作品。不过此时他没有写,因为他在度一个短假。他决心把它用于休息和爱情。他两方面都大有进展。他很快又精神焕发,活力洋溢了,而且每天跟露丝见面,每次见面都让露丝感到了他那旺盛精力的冲击。

“你得小心,”母亲再次警告露丝,“你跟马丁·伊登见面太多,我为你担心呢。”

露丝笑了,她相信自己没有危险。何况再过几天他就要出海去,等他回来她已经到东部做客去了。但马丁旺盛的精力仍然有它的魅力,而他也听说了她准备到东部去探亲的事,感到需要加快进行。他不知道怎样跟露丝这样的女人恋爱。跟与她绝对不同的女人恋爱他有丰富的经验,但那对他却很不利。那些女人知道爱情和生活,也会调情,但露丝却没有经验。她那惊人的天真无邪令他惶恐,把他热情的话语都冻结在嘴唇上,使他不能不相信自己配不上她。还有一点也对他不利。他以前从没有堕入过情网。在他那些趾高气扬的日子里,他喜欢过女人,也曾迷恋过几个,但并不知道怎样跟她们恋爱。那时他只需神气活现满不在乎地吹吹口哨她们就来了。她们只不过是一种消遣,一段插曲,是男子汉把戏的一部分——最多也只是一小部分。可现在他第一次变成了个温柔、羞怯、忐忑不安的追求者。他所爱的人儿是那样天真纯洁,一尘不染。他不知道怎样去爱她,也不知道怎样对她诉说爱情。

他认识多姿多彩的世界,曾在它于变万化的局面里旋风般前进。在那过程中他学会了一种行为准则,大体是:凡是新花样都让别人先动手。这个办法以前曾使他一千次立于不败之地,也培养了他的观察能力。他懂得怎样观察新东西,等待弱点暴露,再抓住突破口冲进去。那跟打架时伺机进攻是一样的。凭他长期的经验,他只要找到了破绽就能抓住不放,穷追猛打。

他也这样观察着等待着露丝,想向她表白却又不敢。他生怕吓坏了她,对自己也不放心。其实若是他知道的话,他的这条路倒是恰如其分。爱情是在它明确表达之前就已来到这世界上的,在它的蓓蕾期就摸索出了种种窍门和办法,从此永远不忘。马丁就是以这种古老的原始的方式向露丝求爱的。起初他并不知道,虽然后来明白过来了。他俩之间手的碰触要比他嘴里的任何话语都有力。他旺盛的精力对她想像力的冲击具有着比典籍上的诗歌和千年万代的情侣们的情话更大的诱惑。他能用舌头表达的东西虽能部分地打动她的判断力;他们手与手的短暂接触却能直接打动她的本能。她的判断力跟她一样年轻,而本能却跟她的种族同样古老,甚至更古老。在爱惜年轻时本能也年轻,可它却比传统舆论和一切新生的东西更聪明。因此露丝便没有运用过她的判断力,因为没有必要。对马丁向她的恋爱本能所发起的进攻她并没有意识到它的威力。而另一方面,马丁对她的爱恋已经像天日一样明白。她看到了他的爱情表现,也意识到自己的欢乐:那燃烧在他眼里的温柔的光,那颤栗的双手,那太阳晒黑的皮肤下到时准会隐隐泛起的红潮。她甚至进一步怯生生地挑引过他,但是依稀隐约,不但没有引起他的怀疑,甚至连她自己也没有意识到。她对自己也几乎不曾怀疑过。她的威力的这种种表现宣布了她已是个女人,这使她激动欢喜。她也把抗磨和玩弄他当作快乐,像夏娃一样。

由于缺乏经验,也由于过分热情,马丁说不出后来。他只能用碰触的方式下意识地笨拙地接近地。他那手的碰触令她感到愉快,甚至美妙。对此马丁并不知道,他只知道她并无反感。并不是说他俩的手除了见面和道别之外也常接触,而是说在摆弄自行车时,在往车上捆扎带上山去的诗集时,在肩并肩玩味着书中的情趣时,他俩的手都有偶然碰到的机会。何况他俩俯身在书页上沉醉于它的美时,她的头发有时也会拂着他的面颊,肩头有时也会碰着他的肩头。有时一种无赖的冲动无端袭来,她还会想去揉乱他的鬈发。这时她便暗自笑了。而他呢,两人读书倦了,也渴望把头放在她的膝头上,闭了眼睛冥想他俩未来的日子。过去他在贝陵公园和帅岑公园野餐也曾多次把头枕在女人膝上,而且总是睡得很香。而那些女人则给他遮太阳,低头看着他,爱他,不明白他为什么那么大架子,对她们的爱情总不在乎。过去把头枕在姑娘膝头上原是最容易不过的事,可现在他却发现露丝的膝头是无法接近的,难以达到的。其实他的追求之所以有力正在他的沉默。因为沉默她便不致受到惊吓。尽管她天性挑剔,胆怯,却不曾意识到两人的交往会有什么危险.于是便微妙地不自觉地向他靠拢,越靠越近。对这种逐渐的亲近他是感觉到的,很想鼓起勇气,却又畏怯。

有一天下午他终于鼓起了勇气。他发现她在昏暗的起坐间里头痛得眼睛发花。

“什么药都不起作用,”她回答他的问题时说,“而且我不能吃头痛粉,霍尔医生不允许。”

“我认为我能治好你的头痛,不用吃药,”马丁回答,“当然,我没有把握,不过我想试一试。很简单,用按摩。我最初是从日本人那儿学的。你知道他们是个按摩师的民族。然后我又从夏威夷人那儿重新学了一遍,有些变化。他们叫它‘罗米罗米’。凡是药物能治的病它都能治;药物不能治的病有些它也能治。”

他的手刚碰到她的头她便深深地叹了一口气。

“舒服极了,”她说。

半小时之后她说话了,问道:“你累不累?”

这问题只是个形式,答案她分明知道。然后她便一边朦胧思考着他的力量所产生的镇痛作用一边开始昏昏欲睡。生命从他的指尖流出,驱赶着(或者说她似乎觉得驱赶着)疼痛,直到它完全消失。她睡着了,他也悄悄走掉了。

那天晚上她给他打电话,表示感谢。

“我一直睡到晚饭才醒,”她说,“你完全治好了我的病,伊登先生,我真不知道该怎么感谢你呢。”

他回答时口头虽结巴,心里却暖和,非常高兴。在整个通话时间里他心里涌动着关于勃朗宁和多病的伊丽莎白·巴瑞特的回忆。做过的事还可以再做;为了露丝·莫尔斯地马丁·伊登能够做而且愿意做。他回到屋里那卷斯宾塞的《社会学》去。那书翻开放在床上,但他没读进去。爱情折磨着他,蹂躏着他的意志。他发现自己违背了自己的决定,坐到了那张有墨水印迹的小桌旁。那天晚上地所写的十四行诗是他此后两个月内写成的五十首爱情组诗的第一百。他写时心里想着《葡萄牙人的爱情十四行诗》。他的诗是在产生伟大作品的最佳条件下写成的:在生活的紧要关头,在他因甜蜜的疯魔而痛苦之际。

没跟露丝见面时他便写《爱情组诗》,在家读书,或是到公共阅览室去。在那儿跟流行杂志保持更密切的接触,明白它们的政策和内容的性质。他跟露丝一起度过的时光给了他希望,却并无结果。两者都急得他发疯。他治好她的病后的一个星期,诺尔曼建议到梅丽特湖上去用对泛舟。这建议得到亚瑟和奥尔尼的赞同。只有马丁会驾船,他被说服接受了任务。露丝坐在船尾跟他一起。三个小伙子在中舱闲聊,为兄弟会的事大发议论,争吵得不可开交。

月亮尚未升起。露丝没有踉马丁说话,只凝视着繁星点点的天空,突然感到孤独。她瞥了他一眼。一阵风吹来,船体倾斜了,水花溅上了甲板。马丁一手掌舵一手操纵主帆,让船轻轻地贴风行驶,同时眺望着前方,要找出不远处的北岸,没有意识到露丝在看他。露丝专注地望着他,驰骋着想像,猜测着是什么力量扭曲了他的灵魂,使得像他那样一个精力过人的青年把时间浪费在写小说和写诗上面,而那是注定了只能平庸或失败的。

她的眼睛沿着他那在星光下依稀可见的结实的喉头往挺立的头部望去。往日的欲望又回来了:她想用双手搂住他的脖子。她所厌恶的旺盛的精力吸引了她。她益发感到了孤独。她疲倦了。船身一倾侧,她那样坐着便感到吃力。她想起了他为她治好的头痛,想起了他所能给她的舒服的休息。而他就坐在自己身边,离得很近。那船也似乎要让她向他歪过身子,她有了一种向他偎依过去的冲动,想靠在他那健壮的身子上。那冲动朦胧依稀,似有若无,没等她想清楚已经支配了她,使她向他偎依了过去。是船体在倾倒么?她不知道,一点也不知道。她只知道自己偎依到了他的身上,获得了舒服轻松的休息,十分美好。也许该怪船吧?可她没打算纠正,只一味轻轻靠在他肩上。他挪了挪身子,让她靠得更舒服一点。她便靠着,继续靠着。

这是疯狂,可她不愿去想。她再也不是她自己,而是个女人,像女人一样需要偎靠。虽然偎靠得很轻很轻,她的需要却似乎得到了满足。她再由不疲倦了。马丁没说话,怕一说话那魔法就会消逝。他在爱情上的沉默延长了魔法。他快乐得昏昏沉沉,晕晕忽忽,不明白发生了什么事。这感觉太美妙,只能是高烧时的幻觉。他压制了丢下船舵和风帆去拥抱她的疯狂冲动。直觉告诉他不能那样做。他高兴风帆和船舵占住了他的手,挡住了这个诱惑。但他驾着船贴风行驶的手却懈怠了,不顾脸面地让风从帆边漏了出去,推迟了到达北岸的时间,因为一到了北岸就得回头,两人就得分开。他巧妙地驶着船,老远便放慢了速度,没有引起几位还在争论不休的人的注意。他在心里原谅了过去的最艰苦的航行,因为它给他带来了这奇妙的夜晚,给了他操纵海浪。船只和风的能力,让她在驾船时坐到了他身边,让她那可爱的身子靠到了他肩上。

初升的月儿的第一缕光线落到了帆上,用它珍珠般的柔辉照亮了小船。露丝从马丁挪开了身子,同时也注意到他也在挪开。原来怕人注意的感觉是共通的。这段插曲默默无言,却秘密而亲切。她挪开了身子,脸烧得通红,但那偎依的作用却震撼了她。她犯了错误,不愿让两个弟弟看见,也不愿让奥尔尼看见。她为什么要这么做?她可是一辈子也不曾做过这样的事。以前她也跟年轻小伙子一起在月下泛过舟,却从没想过这么做。她羞愧得无地自容,为她萌动中的女性要求感到难堪。她偷偷地看了马丁一眼。马丁正忙着改变航向。她是可能怀恨他的,因为他竟使她做出了这样放荡可耻的事。怎么偏偏是他!她母亲也许是对的。他跟她见面太多了。她下定决心不让这样的事再发生,以后要跟他少见面。她还异想天开打算在两人单独会面的时候给他作解释,装作无意的样子撒个谎,说是月亮快出来时她突然感到晕眩,没坐稳身子。可她又回忆起月光快要透出时他们俩互相挪开的事,便明白他会听出那是谎话。

在随后的匆匆逝去的日子里她已经不再是自己,而成了一个满肚子狐疑的陌生人。看问题执拗,瞧不起自我分析,不肯看向未来,不肯考虑自己,也不管自己在往哪儿漂流。一个令人激动的奇迹使她狂热。她时而害怕,时而沉醉,总是迷惆困惑。但是有一点她却坚信不疑,认为她的安全可以保证,只要不让马丁表白爱情。只要能做到这一点她就可以万事大吉。过几天他就出海了。不过就算他表白了也没有问题。不可能有别的,因为她并不爱他。当然,半小时内他会很痛苦,她也会很尴尬,因为那会是她第一次有人求爱。一想到这一点她竟又甜蜜地欢喜起来。她真地成了个女人了,有了男人爱她,向她求婚了。那是对女人的一切天性的诱惑。她生命的机制、她整个的结构都不禁震动、战栗起来。这想法有如被火光吸引的飞蛾在她心里扑腾着。她甚至还设想起马丁求爱的样子,连他要说的话都为他设计好了。她还排练了自己的拒绝。她要用好意把它冲淡,鼓励他做个有志气的男子汉,尤其要戒掉烟——这一点要加以强调。可是不行,决不能让他说出口来,那是她对妈妈的诺言。她满面通红,全身发热,遗憾地驱走了她所设想的场景。她的第一次求婚应当推迟到一个更为吉利的时辰,求婚人也必须更为可取。

  

。|。|。NA NA。|。|。


゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 21楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  21


Came a beautiful fall day, warm and languid, palpitant with the hush of the changing season, a California Indian summer day, with hazy sun and wandering wisps of breeze that did not stir the slumber of the air. Filmy purple mists, that were not vapors but fabrics woven of color, hid in the recesses of the hills. San Francisco lay like a blur of smoke upon her heights. The intervening bay was a dull sheen of molten metal, whereon sailing craft lay motionless or drifted with the lazy tide. Far Tamalpais, barely seen in the silver haze, bulked hugely by the Golden Gate, the latter a pale gold pathway under the westering sun. Beyond, the Pacific, dim and vast, was raising on its sky-line tumbled cloud-masses that swept landward, giving warning of the first blustering breath of winter.




The erasure of summer was at hand. Yet summer lingered, fading and fainting among her hills, deepening the purple of her valleys, spinning a shroud of haze from waning powers and sated raptures, dying with the calm content of having lived and lived well. And among the hills, on their favorite knoll, Martin and Ruth sat side by side, their heads bent over the same pages, he reading aloud from the love-sonnets of the woman who had loved Browning as it is given to few men to be loved.




But the reading languished. The spell of passing beauty all about them was too strong. The golden year was dying as it had lived, a beautiful and unrepentant voluptuary, and reminiscent rapture and content freighted heavily the air. It entered into them, dreamy and languorous, weakening the fibres of resolution, suffusing the face of morality, or of judgment, with haze and purple mist. Martin felt tender and melting, and from time to time warm glows passed over him. His head was very near to hers, and when wandering phantoms of breeze stirred her hair so that it touched his face, the printed pages swam before his eyes.




"I don't believe you know a word of what you are reading," she said once when he had lost his place.




He looked at her with burning eyes, and was on the verge of becoming awkward, when a retort came to his lips.




"I don't believe you know either. What was the last sonnet about?"




"I don't know," she laughed frankly. "I've already forgotten. Don't let us read any more. The day is too beautiful."




"It will be our last in the hills for some time," he announced gravely. "There's a storm gathering out there on the sea-rim."




The book slipped from his hands to the ground, and they sat idly and silently, gazing out over the dreamy bay with eyes that dreamed and did not see. Ruth glanced sidewise at his neck. She did not lean toward him. She was drawn by some force outside of herself and stronger than gravitation, strong as destiny. It was only an inch to lean, and it was accomplished without volition on her part. Her shoulder touched his as lightly as a butterfly touches a flower, and just as lightly was the counter-pressure. She felt his shoulder press hers, and a tremor run through him. Then was the time for her to draw back. But she had become an automaton. Her actions had passed beyond the control of her will - she never thought of control or will in the delicious madness that was upon her. His arm began to steal behind her and around her. She waited its slow progress in a torment of delight. She waited, she knew not for what, panting, with dry, burning lips, a leaping pulse, and a fever of expectancy in all her blood. The girdling arm lifted higher and drew her toward him, drew her slowly and caressingly. She could wait no longer. With a tired sigh, and with an impulsive movement all her own, unpremeditated, spasmodic, she rested her head upon his breast. His head bent over swiftly, and, as his lips approached, hers flew to meet them.




This must be love, she thought, in the one rational moment that was vouchsafed her. If it was not love, it was too shameful. It could be nothing else than love. She loved the man whose arms were around her and whose lips were pressed to hers. She pressed more, tightly to him, with a snuggling movement of her body. And a moment later, tearing herself half out of his embrace, suddenly and exultantly she reached up and placed both hands upon Martin Eden's sunburnt neck. So exquisite was the pang of love and desire fulfilled that she uttered a low moan, relaxed her hands, and lay half-swooning in his arms.




Not a word had been spoken, and not a word was spoken for a long time. Twice he bent and kissed her, and each time her lips met his shyly and her body made its happy, nestling movement. She clung to him, unable to release herself, and he sat, half supporting her in his arms, as he gazed with unseeing eyes at the blur of the great city across the bay. For once there were no visions in his brain. Only colors and lights and glows pulsed there, warm as the day and warm as his love. He bent over her. She was speaking.




"When did you love me?" she whispered.




"From the first, the very first, the first moment I laid eye on you. I was mad for love of you then, and in all the time that has passed since then I have only grown the madder. I am maddest, now, dear. I am almost a lunatic, my head is so turned with joy."




"I am glad I am a woman, Martin - dear," she said, after a long sigh.




He crushed her in his arms again and again, and then asked:-




"And you? When did you first know?"




"Oh, I knew it all the time, almost, from the first."




"And I have been as blind as a bat!" he cried, a ring of vexation in his voice. "I never dreamed it until just how, when I - when I kissed you."




"I didn't mean that." She drew herself partly away and looked at him. "I meant I knew you loved almost from the first."




"And you?" he demanded.




"It came to me suddenly." She was speaking very slowly, her eyes warm and fluttery and melting, a soft flush on her cheeks that did not go away. "I never knew until just now when - you put your arms around me. And I never expected to marry you, Martin, not until just now. How did you make me love you?"




"I don't know," he laughed, "unless just by loving you, for I loved you hard enough to melt the heart of a stone, much less the heart of the living, breathing woman you are."




"This is so different from what I thought love would be," she announced irrelevantly.




"What did you think it would be like?"




"I didn't think it would be like this." She was looking into his eyes at the moment, but her own dropped as she continued, "You see, I didn't know what this was like."




He offered to draw her toward him again, but it was no more than a tentative muscular movement of the girdling arm, for he feared that he might be greedy. Then he felt her body yielding, and once again she was close in his arms and lips were pressed on lips.




"What will my people say?" she queried, with sudden apprehension, in one of the pauses.




"I don't know. We can find out very easily any time we are so minded."




"But if mamma objects? I am sure I am afraid to tell her."




"Let me tell her," he volunteered valiantly. "I think your mother does not like me, but I can win her around. A fellow who can win you can win anything. And if we don't - "




"Yes?"




"Why, we'll have each other. But there's no danger not winning your mother to our marriage. She loves you too well."




"I should not like to break her heart," Ruth said pensively.




He felt like assuring her that mothers' hearts were not so easily broken, but instead he said, "And love is the greatest thing in the world."




"Do you know, Martin, you sometimes frighten me. I am frightened now, when I think of you and of what you have been. You must be very, very good to me. Remember, after all, that I am only a child. I never loved before."




"Nor I. We are both children together. And we are fortunate above most, for we have found our first love in each other."




"But that is impossible!" she cried, withdrawing herself from his arms with a swift, passionate movement. "Impossible for you. You have been a sailor, and sailors, I have heard, are - are - "




Her voice faltered and died away.




"Are addicted to having a wife in every port?" he suggested. "Is that what you mean?"




"Yes," she answered in a low voice.




"But that is not love." He spoke authoritatively. "I have been in many ports, but I never knew a passing touch of love until I saw you that first night. Do you know, when I said good night and went away, I was almost arrested."




"Arrested?"




"Yes. The policeman thought I was drunk; and I was, too - with love for you."




"But you said we were children, and I said it was impossible, for you, and we have strayed away from the point."




"I said that I never loved anybody but you," he replied. "You are my first, my very first."




"And yet you have been a sailor," she objected.




"But that doesn't prevent me from loving you the first."




"And there have been women - other women - oh!"




And to Martin Eden's supreme surprise, she burst into a storm of tears that took more kisses than one and many caresses to drive away. And all the while there was running through his head Kipling's line: "AND THE COLONEL'S LADY AND JUDY O'GRADY ARE SISTERS UNDER THEIR SKINS." It was true, he decided; though the novels he had read had led him to believe otherwise. His idea, for which the novels were responsible, had been that only formal proposals obtained in the upper classes. It was all right enough, down whence he had come, for youths and maidens to win each other by contact; but for the exalted personages up above on the heights to make love in similar fashion had seemed unthinkable. Yet the novels were wrong. Here was a proof of it. The same pressures and caresses, unaccompanied by speech, that were efficacious with the girls of the working-class, were equally efficacious with the girls above the working-class. They were all of the same flesh, after all, sisters under their skins; and he might have known as much himself had he remembered his Spencer. As he held Ruth in his arms and soothed her, he took great consolation in the thought that the Colonel's lady and Judy O'Grady were pretty much alike under their skins. It brought Ruth closer to him, made her possible. Her dear flesh was as anybody's flesh, as his flesh. There was no bar to their marriage. Class difference was the only difference, and class was extrinsic. It could be shaken off. A slave, he had read, had risen to the Roman purple. That being so, then he could rise to Ruth. Under her purity, and saintliness, and culture, and ethereal beauty of soul, she was, in things fundamentally human, just like Lizzie Connolly and all Lizzie Connollys. All that was possible of them was possible of her. She could love, and hate, maybe have hysterics; and she could certainly be jealous, as she was jealous now, uttering her last sobs in his arms.




"Besides, I am older than you," she remarked suddenly, opening her eyes and looking up at him, "three years older."




"Hush, you are only a child, and I am forty years older than you, in experience," was his answer.




In truth, they were children together, so far as love was concerned, and they were as naive and immature in the expression of their love as a pair of children, and this despite the fact that she was crammed with a university education and that his head was full of scientific philosophy and the hard facts of life.




They sat on through the passing glory of the day, talking as lovers are prone to talk, marvelling at the wonder of love and at destiny that had flung them so strangely together, and dogmatically believing that they loved to a degree never attained by lovers before. And they returned insistently, again and again, to a rehearsal of their first impressions of each other and to hopeless attempts to analyze just precisely what they felt for each other and how much there was of it.




The cloud-masses on the western horizon received the descending sun, and the circle of the sky turned to rose, while the zenith glowed with the same warm color. The rosy light was all about them, flooding over them, as she sang, "Good-by, Sweet Day." She sang softly, leaning in the cradle of his arm, her hands in his, their hearts in each other's hands.
一个美丽的秋日来临了。暖洋洋世懒洋洋,季节快要变化所带来的平静令人提心吊胆。那是个加利福尼亚州的小阳春日子。太阳的光模糊朦胧,细细的风轻轻吹拂,却吹不醒沉睡的空气。紫红色的薄雾已不是水气,而是用彩色织成的鲛绡,在群山的沟壑里隐约藏匿。旧金山卧在山顶,有如一片模糊的烟霭。其间的海湾发一片融熔的金属的暗淡的光,海湾上的船只有的静静地旋泊,有的随着淡荡的潮水漂流。远处,塔马派斯山在金门旁巍巍矗立,在银色的雾震中依稀可见。西沉的夕阳下的金门是一脉淡金色的水道。再往外,缥缈浩瀚的太平洋升起在天际,驱赶着滚滚云团向大陆袭来,已在声势煊煊地发出寒冬的呼啸的第一道警报。

夏季马上就会被抹掉,可她却恋恋不肯便走,还在群山里停留,在那里凋零萎谢,把她的丘壑染得越发红紫。现在她正用衰微的力气和过度的欢乐编织着烟霭的尸衣,要怀着不虚此生的平静的满足死去。马丁和露丝正在群山之间他们喜爱的丘陵项上并排坐着,两颗头俯在同一本书上。马丁正朗诵着一个女诗人的十四行诗,那女诗人对勃朗宁的爱是世上的男子绝少得到的。

但那朗诵早已设精打采。他们周围正在消失的美大迷人。辉煌的一年是个全无怨尤的美丽的荡妇,她正在辉煌地死去。空气里弥漫着回忆中的狂欢与满足。那感觉进入了他们心里,情做而迷茫,削弱者意志,也给道德和理智蒙上一层烟霭,一层紫雾。马丁柔情脉脉,不时有股股热力通过全身。他的头跟她的头十分靠近,在幽灵样的清风吹过,把她的头发拣到他脸上时,他眼前的书页便荡漾起来。

“我相信你根本不知道自己在读些什么。”有一次他找不到自己读的地方时,她说。

他用燃烧的眼睛望着她,快要露出窘相,唇边却冒出了一句反驳的话。

“我怕是你也不知道吧。刚才的十四行说的是什么?”

“我也不知道,”她坦然地笑了,“已经忘了。咱们就别读了吧。今天天气真美!”

“这是我们一段时间之内最后一次上山了呢,”他心情沉重地宣布,“海面上已酝酿着风暴。”

书本从他手里滑落到地下。两人默默地闲坐着,用怀着幻梦却还看不见的眼睛望着幻梦样的海湾。露丝瞥了一眼他的脖子。她并没有偎依过去,只是被身外的某种力量吸引了去。那力量比地心引力还强,强大得有如命运。要偎过去只有一英寸距离,她全没有想就偎过去了。她的肩头挨着了他的肩头,轻得像蝴蝶点着花朵。对方的反应也同样轻微。她感到他的肩头靠着了自己,一阵震颤穿过她全身。已是她挪开身子的时候了,可她已成了个机器人,她的动作已不受意志支配——她感到一阵疯狂的迷醉,根本没想到控制或是压抑。他的手臂悄悄地伸到了她背后,搂住了她。一阵欢乐折磨着她,她等着。那手缓缓移动起来。她等着,不知等着什么,喘着气,嘴唇干涸,脉搏急跳,一种期待的狂热弥漫了她的血液。搂着她的手往上移动了,把她接了过去,温存地慢慢地搂了过去。她再也不能等待了。她发出一声疲劳的叹息,主动地,痉挛地,全不思考地靠到了他的胸脯上。他立即低下头去,他的嘴唇刚刚靠近,她的嘴唇早已迎了上来。

这肯定就是爱情,在她获得瞬间的理智时,她想。要不是爱情,就太可耻了。只能是爱情。她爱这个搂着她、吻着她的男人。她扭了扭身子,对他靠得更紧了。过了一会,她突然激动地挣开了他部分的搂抱,伸出胳膊搂住了马丁·伊登那被太阳晒黑了的脖子。爱情和欲望得到了满足,那感觉是那么美妙,她不禁发出了一声低低的呻吟,然后放松了胳膊,半昏迷地躺在了他的怀里。

两人没有说话,很久没有说话。他两次弯过身子亲她,她两次都用嘴唇羞答答迎接他的嘴唇,而且欢喜地往他怀里钻。她偎依着他,无法挪开。他坐着,用两条手臂半托着她,凝望着海湾那边巨大的城市的模糊形象——虽然看不见。这一回他脑子里只有光和色在脉动,没出现幻想,那光与色跟那天天气一样温暖,跟爱情一样火热。他向她俯过身去,她已在说话了。

“你什么时候爱上我的?”她低声问。

“从第一次看见你的时候,就在第一次看见你的时候我就爱上你了。我爱得发狂,那以后更是越爱越狂,而现在是爱得最狂的时候,亲爱的。我差不多成了个狂人。我快活得脑袋都发晕了。”

“我很高兴成了个女人了,马丁——亲爱的。”她长叹了一声,说。

他一次又一次紧紧地拥抱她,然后问道:——

“你呢?你是什么时候开始知道的?”

“啊,我一直都知道,差不多从开始就知道。”

“可我却像个编幅一样没看见!”他叫了起来,带着懊恼的调子。“我连做梦也没想到,直到刚才我——亲了你才算明白过来。”

“我不是那个意思。”她哪开了一点,望着他。“我是说我差不多从开始就知道你在爱我。”

“可你呢,你爱我吗?”他追问。

“我是突然发现的。”她说得很慢,眼睛热烘烘的,闪动着,柔情脉脉,颊上升起了淡淡的红晕,经久不散。“我一直都不知道——是刚才你搂着我我才明白过来的。我从没有想过和你结婚,马丁,刚才以前都没想过。你是用什么办法让我爱上你的?”

“我不知道,”他笑了起来,“办法只是爱吧。因为我太爱你,怕是连石头的心也能融化的,更不用说像你这样活生生的。会呼吸的女人的心了。”

“这跟我想像中的爱情太不一样了。”她转换了话题。

“你想像中的爱情是什么样的呢?”

“我没想到它会是这样。”说时她望着他的眼睛,但随即低下了眼帘,说道,“你看,我就不知道爱情是什么样子。”

他又想把她接过去,却只是让接着她的手臂微微动了一动——他怕自己大贪婪,这时他却感到她的身子依从了。她再一次倒进了他的怀里,嘴唇紧贴到他的嘴唇上。

“我家的人会怎么说呢?”在一次停顿时她突然忧心忡忡地问道。

“我不知道,若是想知道什么时候都可以问的,很容易。”

“可要是妈妈不同意怎么办泥?我真害怕告诉她。”

“我去跟她讲好了,”他自告奋勇说,“我觉得你妈妈不喜欢我,但我可以争取她。能争取到你的人是什么人都能争取到的。即使我们没有争取到——”

“那怎么办?”

“那有什么,我们仍然彼此相爱。不过,要争取你妈妈并不难,她太爱你。”

“我可不愿意伤她的心,”露丝沉吟着说。

他很想向她保证她妈妈不会那么容易就伤心的,却说道:“爱情是世界上最伟大的东西。”

“你知道不,马丁,你有时候真叫我害怕。我现在想起你和你的过去都还害怕呢。你一定要对我非常非常好。你要记住我毕竟还是个孩子,从来没有恋爱过。”

“我也从来没有恋爱过。我们俩都是孩子。我们是最幸运的,因为彼此都是初恋。”

“不可能!”她立即从他怀抱里激动地抽开了身子。“对你是不可能的。你当过水手,而我听说,水手是——是——”

她犹豫了,没说出来。

“水手都有个嗜好,在每个港口有个老婆,是么?”他提示道,“你是这个意思么?”

“是的。”她低声答道。

“可那并不是爱情,”他专断地说,“我去过许多港口,但在那个晚上第一次遇见你之前我一点也没有恋爱过。我跟你分手之后几乎被抓了起来你知道么?”

“抓了起来?”

“真的,警察还以为我喝醉了呢;我那时确实醉了——因为爱上了你。”

“可你说我们还是孩子,而我说你不可能还是个孩子,我们离题了。”

“我说了除了你之外我没有爱过任何人,”他回答,“你是我的初恋,头一个恋人。”

“但你做过水手,”她反驳。

“可那并不能说明我跟你不是初恋。”

“你有过女人——别的女人——啊!”

令马丁·伊登极其意外的是,她忽然泪流满面,大哭起来。他用了许多亲吻和爱抚才叫她平静下去。在劝慰她时他一直想着吉卜林的诗句:“上校的夫人和无论什么贱女,说到底也同是血肉之躯。”他认为这话不错;虽然他读过的小说曾给过他别的看法。那些小说应对他负责的看法是:上流社会只有靠正式求婚才能缔结婚姻,而在他出身的下层,姑娘和小伙子靠身体的接触而互相拥有是正常的事。但若要说上层社会的高雅人物也用同样的方式彼此追求,他就觉得难以想像了。可是小说错了,眼前就有一个证据。默不作声的接触和爱抚对工人阶级的姑娘有效,对高于工人阶级的姑娘也同样有效。她们毕竟也显血肉之躯,骨子里都是姐妹。他若是没忘记他的斯宾塞的话,对这些早就该知道了。在他拥抱着露丝、安慰着她的时候,便不禁想起上校的夫人和无论什么贱女说到底都很相像的话,感到非常安慰。这让露丝跟他更接近了,她不再高不可攀了。她那亲爱的身子也和任何人的身子一样,和他的身子一样。他们的婚姻再没了障碍。唯一的差异是阶级的差异,而阶级是外在的,可以摆脱.他曾读到一个从奴隶上升为罗马穿红着紫的人物的故事。既然如此,他也可以上升到露丝的地位。在她那纯贞、圣洁、有教养、和仙灵一样美丽的灵魂之下,她作为人的基本方面和丽齐·康诺利以及类似的姑娘并没有两样。她们可能做的事地也可能做。她可能爱,可能恨,说不定还可能歇斯底里;她肯定可能护忌,她现在就在他的怀抱里最后抽泣着,妒忌着呢。

“而且,我比你大,”她突然说,睁开眼睛望着他,“大三岁。”

“别闹了,你还是个孩子,要讲经验的话,我比你大四十岁,”他回答。

事实上,就爱情而论,他们俩都是孩子,在表达爱情上也都幼稚,不成熟,尽管她脑子里塞满了从大学学来的知识,他也有满脑子科学的哲学思想和实实在在的生活经验。

两人继续坐着,望着辉煌的景色逐渐暗淡,谈着情人们总要絮叨的情话。他们对爱情的奇迹,对把他们俩那样离奇地撮合到一起的命运感到惊奇,而且武断地认为他俩爱情之深沉是任句情侣也赶不上的。他们反反复复不疲倦地倾谈着对彼此的第一个印象,又全无希望他想准确分析彼此的感情,夸说着它的强烈。

太阳落入了西边地平线上的云阵里,周围的天转成了玫瑰色的一片,连天顶也燃烧着同样的温暖色调。他们四面都是敦瑰色的光,她唱了起来:“再见吧,甜蜜的日子,”那光便泻满了他们全身。她偎在他的怀里,曼声唱着,她的手握在他手里,他俩的心握在彼此手里。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 22楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  22


Mrs. Morse did not require a mother's intuition to read the advertisement in Ruth's face when she returned home. The flush that would not leave the cheeks told the simple story, and more eloquently did the eyes, large and bright, reflecting an unmistakable inward glory.




"What has happened?" Mrs. Morse asked, having bided her time till Ruth had gone to bed.




"You know?" Ruth queried, with trembling lips.




For reply, her mother's arm went around her, and a hand was softly caressing her hair.




"He did not speak," she blurted out. "I did not intend that it should happen, and I would never have let him speak - only he didn't speak."




"But if he did not speak, then nothing could have happened, could it?"




"But it did, just the same."




"In the name of goodness, child, what are you babbling about?" Mrs. Morse was bewildered. "I don't think know what happened, after all. What did happen?"




Ruth looked at her mother in surprise.




"I thought you knew. Why, we're engaged, Martin and I."




Mrs. Morse laughed with incredulous vexation.




"No, he didn't speak," Ruth explained. "He just loved me, that was all. I was as surprised as you are. He didn't say a word. He just put his arm around me. And - and I was not myself. And he kissed me, and I kissed him. I couldn't help it. I just had to. And then I knew I loved him."




She paused, waiting with expectancy the benediction of her mother's kiss, but Mrs. Morse was coldly silent.




"It is a dreadful accident, I know," Ruth recommenced with a sinking voice. "And I don't know how you will ever forgive me. But I couldn't help it. I did not dream that I loved him until that moment. And you must tell father for me."




"Would it not be better not to tell your father? Let me see Martin Eden, and talk with him, and explain. He will understand and release you."




"No! no!" Ruth cried, starting up. "I do not want to be released. I love him, and love is very sweet. I am going to marry him - of course, if you will let me."




"We have other plans for you, Ruth, dear, your father and I - oh, no, no; no man picked out for you, or anything like that. Our plans go no farther than your marrying some man in your own station in life, a good and honorable gentleman, whom you will select yourself, when you love him."




"But I love Martin already," was the plaintive protest.




"We would not influence your choice in any way; but you are our daughter, and we could not bear to see you make a marriage such as this. He has nothing but roughness and coarseness to offer you in exchange for all that is refined and delicate in you. He is no match for you in any way. He could not support you. We have no foolish ideas about wealth, but comfort is another matter, and our daughter should at least marry a man who can give her that - and not a penniless adventurer, a sailor, a cowboy, a smuggler, and Heaven knows what else, who, in addition to everything, is hare- brained and irresponsible."




Ruth was silent. Every word she recognized as true.




"He wastes his time over his writing, trying to accomplish what geniuses and rare men with college educations sometimes accomplish. A man thinking of marriage should be preparing for marriage. But not he. As I have said, and I know you agree with me, he is irresponsible. And why should he not be? It is the way of sailors. He has never learned to be economical or temperate. The spendthrift years have marked him. It is not his fault, of course, but that does not alter his nature. And have you thought of the years of licentiousness he inevitably has lived? Have you thought of that, daughter? You know what marriage means."




Ruth shuddered and clung close to her mother.




"I have thought." Ruth waited a long time for the thought to frame itself. "And it is terrible. It sickens me to think of it. I told you it was a dreadful accident, my loving him; but I can't help myself. Could you help loving father? Then it is the same with me. There is something in me, in him - I never knew it was there until to-day - but it is there, and it makes me love him. I never thought to love him, but, you see, I do," she concluded, a certain faint triumph in her voice.




They talked long, and to little purpose, in conclusion agreeing to wait an indeterminate time without doing anything.




The same conclusion was reached, a little later that night, between Mrs. Morse and her husband, after she had made due confession of the miscarriage of her plans.




"It could hardly have come otherwise," was Mr. Morse's judgment. "This sailor-fellow has been the only man she was in touch with. Sooner or later she was going to awaken anyway; and she did awaken, and lo! here was this sailor-fellow, the only accessible man at the moment, and of course she promptly loved him, or thought she did, which amounts to the same thing."




Mrs. Morse took it upon herself to work slowly and indirectly upon Ruth, rather than to combat her. There would be plenty of time for this, for Martin was not in position to marry.




"Let her see all she wants of him," was Mr. Morse's advice. "The more she knows him, the less she'll love him, I wager. And give her plenty of contrast. Make a point of having young people at the house. Young women and young men, all sorts of young men, clever men, men who have done something or who are doing things, men of her own class, gentlemen. She can gauge him by them. They will show him up for what he is. And after all, he is a mere boy of twenty-one. Ruth is no more than a child. It is calf love with the pair of them, and they will grow out of it."




So the matter rested. Within the family it was accepted that Ruth and Martin were engaged, but no announcement was made. The family did not think it would ever be necessary. Also, it was tacitly understood that it was to be a long engagement. They did not ask Martin to go to work, nor to cease writing. They did not intend to encourage him to mend himself. And he aided and abetted them in their unfriendly designs, for going to work was farthest from his thoughts.




"I wonder if you'll like what I have done!" he said to Ruth several days later. "I've decided that boarding with my sister is too expensive, and I am going to board myself. I've rented a little room out in North Oakland, retired neighborhood and all the rest, you know, and I've bought an oil-burner on which to cook."




Ruth was overjoyed. The oil-burner especially pleased her.




"That was the way Mr. Butler began his start," she said.




Martin frowned inwardly at the citation of that worthy gentleman, and went on: "I put stamps on all my manuscripts and started them off to the editors again. Then to-day I moved in, and to-morrow I start to work."




"A position!" she cried, betraying the gladness of her surprise in all her body, nestling closer to him, pressing his hand, smiling. "And you never told me! What is it?"




He shook his head.




"I meant that I was going to work at my writing." Her face fell, and he went on hastily. "Don't misjudge me. I am not going in this time with any iridescent ideas. It is to be a cold, prosaic, matter-of-fact business proposition. It is better than going to sea again, and I shall earn more money than any position in Oakland can bring an unskilled man."




"You see, this vacation I have taken has given me perspective. I haven't been working the life out of my body, and I haven't been writing, at least not for publication. All I've done has been to love you and to think. I've read some, too, but it has been part of my thinking, and I have read principally magazines. I have generalized about myself, and the world, my place in it, and my chance to win to a place that will be fit for you. Also, I've been reading Spencer's 'Philosophy of Style,' and found out a lot of what was the matter with me - or my writing, rather; and for that matter with most of the writing that is published every month in the magazines."




"But the upshot of it all - of my thinking and reading and loving - is that I am going to move to Grub Street. I shall leave masterpieces alone and do hack-work - jokes, paragraphs, feature articles, humorous verse, and society verse - all the rot for which there seems so much demand. Then there are the newspaper syndicates, and the newspaper short-story syndicates, and the syndicates for the Sunday supplements. I can go ahead and hammer out the stuff they want, and earn the equivalent of a good salary by it. There are free-lances, you know, who earn as much as four or five hundred a month. I don't care to become as they; but I'll earn a good living, and have plenty of time to myself, which I wouldn't have in any position."




"Then, I'll have my spare time for study and for real work. In between the grind I'll try my hand at masterpieces, and I'll study and prepare myself for the writing of masterpieces. Why, I am amazed at the distance I have come already. When I first tried to write, I had nothing to write about except a few paltry experiences which I neither understood nor appreciated. But I had no thoughts. I really didn't. I didn't even have the words with which to think. My experiences were so many meaningless pictures. But as I began to add to my knowledge, and to my vocabulary, I saw something more in my experiences than mere pictures. I retained the pictures and I found their interpretation. That was when I began to do good work, when I wrote 'Adventure,' 'Joy,' 'The Pot,' 'The Wine of Life,' 'The Jostling Street,' the 'Love-cycle,' and the 'Sea Lyrics.' I shall write more like them, and better; but I shall do it in my spare time. My feet are on the solid earth, now. Hack- work and income first, masterpieces afterward. Just to show you, I wrote half a dozen jokes last night for the comic weeklies; and just as I was going to bed, the thought struck me to try my hand at a triolet - a humorous one; and inside an hour I had written four. They ought to be worth a dollar apiece. Four dollars right there for a few afterthoughts on the way to bed."




"Of course it's all valueless, just so much dull and sordid plodding; but it is no more dull and sordid than keeping books at sixty dollars a month, adding up endless columns of meaningless figures until one dies. And furthermore, the hack-work keeps me in touch with things literary and gives me time to try bigger things."




"But what good are these bigger-things, these masterpieces?" Ruth demanded. "You can't sell them."




"Oh, yes, I can," he began; but she interrupted.




"All those you named, and which you say yourself are good - you have not sold any of them. We can't get married on masterpieces that won't sell."




"Then we'll get married on triolets that will sell," he asserted stoutly, putting his arm around her and drawing a very unresponsive sweetheart toward him.




"Listen to this," he went on in attempted gayety. "It's not art, but it's a dollar.




"He came in When I was out, To borrow some tin Was why he came in, And he went without; So I was in And he was out."




The merry lilt with which he had invested the jingle was at variance with the dejection that came into his face as he finished. He had drawn no smile from Ruth. She was looking at him in an earnest and troubled way.




"It may be a dollar," she said, "but it is a jester's dollar, the fee of a clown. Don't you see, Martin, the whole thing is lowering. I want the man I love and honor to be something finer and higher than a perpetrator of jokes and doggerel."




"You want him to be like - say Mr. Butler?" he suggested.




"I know you don't like Mr. Butler," she began.




"Mr. Butler's all right," he interrupted. "It's only his indigestion I find fault with. But to save me I can't see any difference between writing jokes or comic verse and running a type- writer, taking dictation, or keeping sets of books. It is all a means to an end. Your theory is for me to begin with keeping books in order to become a successful lawyer or man of business. Mine is to begin with hack-work and develop into an able author."




"There is a difference," she insisted.




"What is it?"




"Why, your good work, what you yourself call good, you can't sell. You have tried, you know that, - but the editors won't buy it."




"Give me time, dear," he pleaded. "The hack-work is only makeshift, and I don't take it seriously. Give me two years. I shall succeed in that time, and the editors will be glad to buy my good work. I know what I am saying; I have faith in myself. I know what I have in me; I know what literature is, now; I know the average rot that is poured out by a lot of little men; and I know that at the end of two years I shall be on the highroad to success. As for business, I shall never succeed at it. I am not in sympathy with it. It strikes me as dull, and stupid, and mercenary, and tricky. Anyway I am not adapted for it. I'd never get beyond a clerkship, and how could you and I be happy on the paltry earnings of a clerk? I want the best of everything in the world for you, and the only time when I won't want it will be when there is something better. And I'm going to get it, going to get all of it. The income of a successful author makes Mr. Butler look cheap. A 'best-seller' will earn anywhere between fifty and a hundred thousand dollars - sometimes more and sometimes less; but, as a rule, pretty close to those figures."




She remained silent; her disappointment was apparent.




"Well?" he asked.




"I had hoped and planned otherwise. I had thought, and I still think, that the best thing for you would be to study shorthand - you already know type-writing - and go into father's office. You have a good mind, and I am confident you would succeed as a lawyer."
露丝回家时莫尔斯太太不用靠母亲的直觉便看出了挂在她脸上的东西。那羞红不褪的脸已经说明了这个简单的故事,那双水汪汪的大眼睛更雄辩地反映了存在她内心的不容置疑的辉煌。

“出了什么事了?”莫尔斯太太直等到露丝上了床,才问。

“你知道了?”露丝嘴唇颤抖着问。

妈妈伸出手搂着她,再用一只手轻轻地抚摩她的头发,作为回答。

“他没有提出来,”她突然叫道,“我是不愿意发生这种情况的,也决不愿意他提出——但是他并没有提出。”

“那么,他既然没有提出就不会发生情况了,是么?”

“可情况仍然发生了。”

“天啦,孩子,你在唠叨些什么呀?”莫尔斯太太给弄糊涂了,“我始终不明白出了什么事。究竟怎么啦?”

露丝吃惊地望着妈妈。

“我以为你知道了呢。我们订婚了,马丁和我。”

莫尔斯太太带着不愿相信的烦恼,笑了。

“没有,他没有提出来,”露丝解释说,“他只是爱了我,如此而已。我也跟你一样意外呢。他一个字也没提,只是用胳膊搂住了我,我就——我就身不由己了。他吻了我,我也吻了他。我情不自禁,只能那样。然后我明白了,我爱他。”

她住了口,等待着妈妈带祝福的吻,但是莫尔斯太太却冷冷地保持沉默。

“这是个可怕的意外,我知道。”露丝继续说下去,声音越来越低,“也不知道你怎样才能原谅我。但是我情不自禁。在那以前我做梦也没想到会爱上他。你一定要帮我告诉爸爸。”

“不告诉你爸爸不是更好么?让我见一见马丁吧,让我跟他谈谈,解释一下。他会理解的,会放掉你的。”

“不!不!”露丝大吃一惊,叫了起来,“我不要他放掉我。我爱他,爱情是非常甜蜜的。我要和他结婚——当然,得要你同意。”

“我们给你另有安排,亲爱的露丝,你爸爸和我——啊不,不,不予我们没有给你选择好对象,没有做这一类的事。我们的计划不过是让你嫁给跟你在生活中地位相同的人,一个体面的好人,上等人。到你爱他的时候,由你自己选择。”

“可我已经爱上马丁了!”她痛苦地抗议。

“我们不会以任何方式影响你的选择的;但你是我们的女儿,我们不忍心眼看你嫁给这样一个人。他除了粗鲁野蛮不能给你任何东西,而你给他的却是文雅和贤淑。他无论如何也配不上你,也养不起你。我们对于财富并不抱糊涂观念,但生活要舒适却是另外一回事。我们的女儿至少应该嫁给一个能让她生活得舒适的人,而不是一个不名一文的冒险家、牛仔。水手、走私犯,还有天知道什么。此外,这个人头脑也简单,还缺乏责任感。”

露丝没有作声,她承认妈妈每句话都说得对。

“他把时间浪费在写作上,想做的事只有天才和少数受过大学教育的人才能偶尔做到。一个要想结婚的人总得作结婚准备吧,可他术去作。我说过,也知道你会同意我的意见:他不负责任。他能够不如此吗?水手们都这样的。他根本不懂得节俭和克制。多少年的胡花乱用给他打上了烙印。当然,这不怪他,但不怪他并没有改变他的本性。还有,你想过这些年来他必然有过的下流生活么?你想过这个问题没有,女儿?婚姻的含意你是知道的。”

露丝感到不寒而栗,紧紧地偎到她妈妈怀里。

“我想过。”露丝过了好一会儿才理清了思路。“是可怕。我一想到就恶心。我刚才说了,我爱上了他是个可怕的意外;但是我情不自禁。你能让自己不爱爸爸吗?我也是一样的呀。在我身上,在他身上,都有了某种东西——在今天以前我并不知道——可它一直存在,而且使我爱上了他。我原没有打算爱他的。可你看,我爱上了。”她说完了,带着某种胜利的口气,淡淡的。

两人谈了很久,也没谈出个结果,最后双方同意作无限期的等待,暂不行动。

那天晚上稍迟,莫尔斯太太向她的丈夫恰当地承认了她那落了空的打算,然后两人也达到同样的结论。

“不可能出现别的结局,”莫尔斯先生判断,“这个水手是她眼前接触到的唯一的男性。她早晚会觉醒的。她这回不就觉醒了么.体育!目前这个水手是她唯一能接近的男性,她当然会立即爱上他的,或者说自以为爱上了他的,反正一样。”

莫尔斯太太自告奋勇采取缓慢的迂回战术对待露丝,避免正面交锋。时间肯定是足够的,因为马丁没有结婚的条件。

“让她明白她对他的一切要求,”莫尔斯先生提出办法,“她越是了解他,就越会少爱他,我敢打赌。多让她作些对比,注意多邀请些年轻人到家里来。男的,女的,各种各样的男性,聪明的,有成就的,快要有成就的,她本阶级的男性,上等人。她可以拿他们来衡量衡量地。他们可以让他相形见绌的。毕竟那人只是个二十一岁的娃娃,而露丝也还很幼稚,双方都是雏恋,会渐渐淡忘的。”

于是这事便搁置了下来。在家庭内部大家都承认露丝和马丁订了婚,但并没有宣布。家里人都认为用不着。而且大家有个默契:婚约期会很长。他们没有要求马丁去工作,也没要他放弃写作。他们不打算让他改正错误,而他也给他们那并不友好的打算帮了忙,鼓了劲,因为他最没有想到的事就是去工作。

“我做了一件事,不知道你会不会喜欢片几天以后他对露丝讲,“我已经决定自己单独住,在姐姐那儿吃住太贵。我在北奥克兰租了一间小屋子,环境和一切都很偏僻,你知道,我已经买了一个煤油炉子烧饭。”

露丝喜出望外。煤油炉子叫她特别高兴。

“巴特勒先生就是这样开始的。”她说。

一听她表扬那位大人物马丁便在心里皱眉头。他接着说:“我给我的稿子全都贴上了邮票,又送它们到编辑先生们那儿去了。我今天就搬进去,明天就开始工作。”

“你有工作了!”她叫了起来。她很惊讶,全身都流露出欢乐,更紧地偎着他,捏着他的手笑着。“可你丝毫也没向我透露呢!什么工作?”

他摇摇头。

“我是说我要开始写作了。”她的脸色阴沉下来,他急忙说下去,“不要误会,这一回我可不写那些闪光的东西了。这是个冷静的、平淡无奇的、现实的打算。总比再去出海好些。我要多赚些钱,赚的钱要比一个没有技术的人在奥克兰所能得到的任何工作的收入都多。

“你看,我才度过的这个假期让我看出了方向。我没有拼命干活儿,也没有写作,至少没有为发表面写作。我一共做了两件事,爱你和思考问题。我读过一些东西,但那也只是我思考的问题的一部分,而我主要读的还是杂志。我对我自己、对世界。对我在世界上的地位。对我能争取得到的机会(要能配得上你的地位的机会)都勾了个轮廓。而且,我一直在读斯宾塞的《文体原理》,发现了我的许多毛病——确切地说是我写作上的毛病,也是大部分杂志每个月发表的作品的毛病。

“这一切的结果——我的思考、阅读和恋爱的结果——便是搬到街去。我要把大部头放一放,我要写下锅之作:笑话呀,短评呀,特写呀,俏皮诗呀,交际诗呀,乱七八糟的东西,需求量似乎很大的。还有报刊供稿社,报刊短篇小说供稿社,星期日增刊供稿社。我可以写下去,使劲写他们要的东西,挣的钱抵得上一份优厚的薪水。有的自由撰稿人,你知道,一个月能赚到四五百块呢。我并不想成为他们那样的人,可我要赚一份好生活,能有很多时间归自己,那是什河工作所不能给我的。

“然后我就有时间读书,做真正的工作了。苦苦投稿的同时我要试着写我的杰作,为写杰作读书,作准备。回顾我所走过的路之漫长,我感到惊讶。刚开始写作的时候,我除了一点点可怜的经验设有什么可写,而那些经验我又并不懂得,也不喜欢。我还没有思想,我真地没有思考过,连用来思考的话也不会说。我的经验只是许许多多没有意义的画面。但是在我开始增加知识、加大词汇量的时候,我便能从我的经验里看出更多的东西,不光是画面了。我保留了这些画面,找到了它们的诠释。那就是我开始写出好作品的时候。那时我写了《冒险》、《罐子》、《生命之酒》、《扰攘的街道》、《爱情组诗》和《海上抒情诗》。我还要写那样的作品,还要写得更好,但要利用闲暇去写。现在我得脚踏实地。首先得写下锅之作,赚钱,然后才谈得上杰作。为了给你看看,我昨天晚上给滑稽周刊写了半打笑话;然后正要睡觉,忽然心血来潮想试试‘小三重奏’,一种俏皮诗,不到一个小时写了四首。每首能赚一块钱,上床之前信手拈来就能到手四大枚呢。

“当然,这东西没什么价值,无聊的苦凑合而已;但总比为了每月六十元去记帐,没完没了地算那些没有意思的帐目,直算到呜呼哀哉要有意思些,要好过些。还有,写下锅之作也让我跟文学作品保持接触,给我时间试写更大的作品。”

“可是这些更大的作品,这些杰作,有什么好处?”露丝问,“你又卖不掉它们。”

“啊,我能卖掉的,”他刚开口便被她打断了。

“你刚才说的那些作品,还有你自认为不错的那些作品——你一个也没有卖掉。我们不能靠卖不掉的杰作结婚的。”

“那我们就靠卖得掉的‘小三重奏’结婚吧,”他坚决地说,伸手搂住了她的腰,把一个很不情愿的情人搂了过去。

“听听这个,”他故作高兴地说,“这谈不上艺术,但能值一块钱。

“我已出门去他才进门来,并不为别的,借钱应应急。他刚空手去,我又空手来,我回到家里,他早已拜拜。”

他给这绕口令设置了活泼有趣的旋律,可他念完时脸上却活泼不起来。露丝设有给他丝毫笑脸,只一本正经懊恼地望着他。

“这东西也许值一块钱,”她说,“可那是一块小丑的钱,赏给小花脸的钱。你不觉得么,马丁,这整个儿是堕落。我希望我爱和尊重的人能够比一个写点笑话和打油诗的人高明呢。”

“你希望他像——比如巴特勒先生么?”他提示。

“我知道你不喜欢巴特勒光生。”她开始了。

“巴特勒先生没有错,”他打断了她的话,“我不佩服的是他那消化不良。不过我也可以辩解,我实在看不出写点笑话和俏皮诗跟玩打字机、当记录、管一大堆帐本有什么不同。都不过是达到目的的手段。你的理论是让我从管帐本开始,发展成为一个成功的律师或企业家。我的路却是从写下锅之作开始,发展成为一个有水平的作家。”

“有区别,”她坚持。

“什么区别?”

“还用说么,你那些优秀作品,自以为挺不错的作品,卖不掉。你卖过,——这你知道,——编辑们不要。”

“请给我时间,亲爱的,”他恳求道,“写下锅之作只是权宜之计,我并不把它当回事。给我两年时间,我会成功的,编辑们会喜欢买我的好稿子的。我明白我自己的话的意思,我对自己有信心。我知道自己的能耐。现在我懂得什么叫文学了;我知道一大批小人物稀里哗啦搞出来的那些平庸玩意儿;而且相信两年之后我就会走上成功之路。至于搞企业么,我是决不会成功的。我对它缺乏感情,总觉得它枯燥、愚蠢、惟利是图、诡计多端,怎么也适应不了。我最多能做个店员。靠店员邵几个破钱你跟我怎么能快活呢。我要把世界上一切东西中最好的给你,若是我不要,那它就不是最好的。我能办到的,这一切都能办到。一个成功的作家的收入会把巴特勒先生比得灰头土脑的。一本‘畅销书’总能赚到五至十万块——有时多一点有时少一点;总归不离这个数目。”

她一直没说话;显然很失望。

“怎么样?”他问。

“我有过别的希望和打算。我认为,而且一直认为,你最好还是学速记——你已经会打字了——然后到爸爸的办公室去工作。你有一副优秀的头脑,我满怀信心你能做一个成功的律师的。”
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 23楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  23


That Ruth had little faith in his power as a writer, did not alter her nor diminish her in Martin's eyes. In the breathing spell of the vacation he had taken, he had spent many hours in self- analysis, and thereby learned much of himself. He had discovered that he loved beauty more than fame, and that what desire he had for fame was largely for Ruth's sake. It was for this reason that his desire for fame was strong. He wanted to be great in the world's eyes; "to make good," as he expressed it, in order that the woman he loved should be proud of him and deem him worthy.




As for himself, he loved beauty passionately, and the joy of serving her was to him sufficient wage. And more than beauty he loved Ruth. He considered love the finest thing in the world. It was love that had worked the revolution in him, changing him from an uncouth sailor to a student and an artist; therefore, to him, the finest and greatest of the three, greater than learning and artistry, was love. Already he had discovered that his brain went beyond Ruth's, just as it went beyond the brains of her brothers, or the brain of her father. In spite of every advantage of university training, and in the face of her bachelorship of arts, his power of intellect overshadowed hers, and his year or so of self-study and equipment gave him a mastery of the affairs of the world and art and life that she could never hope to possess.




All this he realized, but it did not affect his love for her, nor her love for him. Love was too fine and noble, and he was too loyal a lover for him to besmirch love with criticism. What did love have to do with Ruth's divergent views on art, right conduct, the French Revolution, or equal suffrage? They were mental processes, but love was beyond reason; it was superrational. He could not belittle love. He worshipped it. Love lay on the mountain-tops beyond the valley-land of reason. It was a sublimates condition of existence, the topmost peak of living, and it came rarely. Thanks to the school of scientific philosophers he favored, he knew the biological significance of love; but by a refined process of the same scientific reasoning he reached the conclusion that the human organism achieved its highest purpose in love, that love must not be questioned, but must be accepted as the highest guerdon of life. Thus, he considered the lover blessed over all creatures, and it was a delight to him to think of "God's own mad lover," rising above the things of earth, above wealth and judgment, public opinion and applause, rising above life itself and "dying on a kiss."




Much of this Martin had already reasoned out, and some of it he reasoned out later. In the meantime he worked, taking no recreation except when he went to see Ruth, and living like a Spartan. He paid two dollars and a half a month rent for the small room he got from his Portuguese landlady, Maria Silva, a virago and a widow, hard working and harsher tempered, rearing her large brood of children somehow, and drowning her sorrow and fatigue at irregular intervals in a gallon of the thin, sour wine that she bought from the corner grocery and saloon for fifteen cents. From detesting her and her foul tongue at first, Martin grew to admire her as he observed the brave fight she made. There were but four rooms in the little house - three, when Martin's was subtracted. One of these, the parlor, gay with an ingrain carpet and dolorous with a funeral card and a death-picture of one of her numerous departed babes, was kept strictly for company. The blinds were always down, and her barefooted tribe was never permitted to enter the sacred precinct save on state occasions. She cooked, and all ate, in the kitchen, where she likewise washed, starched, and ironed clothes on all days of the week except Sunday; for her income came largely from taking in washing from her more prosperous neighbors. Remained the bedroom, small as the one occupied by Martin, into which she and her seven little ones crowded and slept. It was an everlasting miracle to Martin how it was accomplished, and from her side of the thin partition he heard nightly every detail of the going to bed, the squalls and squabbles, the soft chattering, and the sleepy, twittering noises as of birds. Another source of income to Maria were her cows, two of them, which she milked night and morning and which gained a surreptitious livelihood from vacant lots and the grass that grew on either side the public side walks, attended always by one or more of her ragged boys, whose watchful guardianship consisted chiefly in keeping their eyes out for the poundmen.




In his own small room Martin lived, slept, studied, wrote, and kept house. Before the one window, looking out on the tiny front porch, was the kitchen table that served as desk, library, and type- writing stand. The bed, against the rear wall, occupied two-thirds of the total space of the room. The table was flanked on one side by a gaudy bureau, manufactured for profit and not for service, the thin veneer of which was shed day by day. This bureau stood in the corner, and in the opposite corner, on the table's other flank, was the kitchen - the oil-stove on a dry-goods box, inside of which were dishes and cooking utensils, a shelf on the wall for provisions, and a bucket of water on the floor. Martin had to carry his water from the kitchen sink, there being no tap in his room. On days when there was much steam to his cooking, the harvest of veneer from the bureau was unusually generous. Over the bed, hoisted by a tackle to the ceiling, was his bicycle. At first he had tried to keep it in the basement; but the tribe of Silva, loosening the bearings and puncturing the tires, had driven him out. Next he attempted the tiny front porch, until a howling southeaster drenched the wheel a night-long. Then he had retreated with it to his room and slung it aloft.




A small closet contained his clothes and the books he had accumulated and for which there was no room on the table or under the table. Hand in hand with reading, he had developed the habit of making notes, and so copiously did he make them that there would have been no existence for him in the confined quarters had he not rigged several clothes-lines across the room on which the notes were hung. Even so, he was crowded until navigating the room was a difficult task. He could not open the door without first closing the closet door, and VICE VERSA. It was impossible for him anywhere to traverse the room in a straight line. To go from the door to the head of the bed was a zigzag course that he was never quite able to accomplish in the dark without collisions. Having settled the difficulty of the conflicting doors, he had to steer sharply to the right to avoid the kitchen. Next, he sheered to the left, to escape the foot of the bed; but this sheer, if too generous, brought him against the corner of the table. With a sudden twitch and lurch, he terminated the sheer and bore off to the right along a sort of canal, one bank of which was the bed, the other the table. When the one chair in the room was at its usual place before the table, the canal was unnavigable. When the chair was not in use, it reposed on top of the bed, though sometimes he sat on the chair when cooking, reading a book while the water boiled, and even becoming skilful enough to manage a paragraph or two while steak was frying. Also, so small was the little corner that constituted the kitchen, he was able, sitting down, to reach anything he needed. In fact, it was expedient to cook sitting down; standing up, he was too often in his own way.




In conjunction with a perfect stomach that could digest anything, he possessed knowledge of the various foods that were at the same time nutritious and cheap. Pea-soup was a common article in his diet, as well as potatoes and beans, the latter large and brown and cooked in Mexican style. Rice, cooked as American housewives never cook it and can never learn to cook it, appeared on Martin's table at least once a day. Dried fruits were less expensive than fresh, and he had usually a pot of them, cooked and ready at hand, for they took the place of butter on his bread. Occasionally he graced his table with a piece of round-steak, or with a soup-bone. Coffee, without cream or milk, he had twice a day, in the evening substituting tea; but both coffee and tea were excellently cooked.




There was need for him to be economical. His vacation had consumed nearly all he had earned in the laundry, and he was so far from his market that weeks must elapse before he could hope for the first returns from his hack-work. Except at such times as he saw Ruth, or dropped in to see his sister Gertude, he lived a recluse, in each day accomplishing at least three days' labor of ordinary men. He slept a scant five hours, and only one with a constitution of iron could have held himself down, as Martin did, day after day, to nineteen consecutive hours of toil. He never lost a moment. On the looking-glass were lists of definitions and pronunciations; when shaving, or dressing, or combing his hair, he conned these lists over. Similar lists were on the wall over the oil-stove, and they were similarly conned while he was engaged in cooking or in washing the dishes. New lists continually displaced the old ones. Every strange or partly familiar word encountered in his reading was immediately jotted down, and later, when a sufficient number had been accumulated, were typed and pinned to the wall or looking- glass. He even carried them in his pockets, and reviewed them at odd moments on the street, or while waiting in butcher shop or grocery to be served.




He went farther in the matter. Reading the works of men who had arrived, he noted every result achieved by them, and worked out the tricks by which they had been achieved - the tricks of narrative, of exposition, of style, the points of view, the contrasts, the epigrams; and of all these he made lists for study. He did not ape. He sought principles. He drew up lists of effective and fetching mannerisms, till out of many such, culled from many writers, he was able to induce the general principle of mannerism, and, thus equipped, to cast about for new and original ones of his own, and to weigh and measure and appraise them properly. In similar manner he collected lists of strong phrases, the phrases of living language, phrases that bit like acid and scorched like flame, or that glowed and were mellow and luscious in the midst of the arid desert of common speech. He sought always for the principle that lay behind and beneath. He wanted to know how the thing was done; after that he could do it for himself. He was not content with the fair face of beauty. He dissected beauty in his crowded little bedroom laboratory, where cooking smells alternated with the outer bedlam of the Silva tribe; and, having dissected and learned the anatomy of beauty, he was nearer being able to create beauty itself.




He was so made that he could work only with understanding. He could not work blindly, in the dark, ignorant of what he was producing and trusting to chance and the star of his genius that the effect produced should be right and fine. He had no patience with chance effects. He wanted to know why and how. His was deliberate creative genius, and, before he began a story or poem, the thing itself was already alive in his brain, with the end in sight and the means of realizing that end in his conscious possession. Otherwise the effort was doomed to failure. On the other hand, he appreciated the chance effects in words and phrases that came lightly and easily into his brain, and that later stood all tests of beauty and power and developed tremendous and incommunicable connotations. Before such he bowed down and marvelled, knowing that they were beyond the deliberate creation of any man. And no matter how much he dissected beauty in search of the principles that underlie beauty and make beauty possible, he was aware, always, of the innermost mystery of beauty to which he did not penetrate and to which no man had ever penetrated. He knew full well, from his Spencer, that man can never attain ultimate knowledge of anything, and that the mystery of beauty was no less than that of life - nay, more that the fibres of beauty and life were intertwisted, and that he himself was but a bit of the same nonunderstandable fabric, twisted of sunshine and star-dust and wonder.




In fact, it was when filled with these thoughts that he wrote his essay entitled "Star-dust," in which he had his fling, not at the principles of criticism, but at the principal critics. It was brilliant, deep, philosophical, and deliciously touched with laughter. Also it was promptly rejected by the magazines as often as it was submitted. But having cleared his mind of it, he went serenely on his way. It was a habit he developed, of incubating and maturing his thought upon a subject, and of then rushing into the type-writer with it. That it did not see print was a matter a small moment with him. The writing of it was the culminating act of a long mental process, the drawing together of scattered threads of thought and the final generalizing upon all the data with which his mind was burdened. To write such an article was the conscious effort by which he freed his mind and made it ready for fresh material and problems. It was in a way akin to that common habit of men and women troubled by real or fancied grievances, who periodically and volubly break their long-suffering silence and "have their say" till the last word is said.
虽然露丝对马丁当作家的本领缺乏信心,她在马丁眼中却并无变化,也没有被他小看。在他所度过的短短假期里,马丁花了许多时间作自我分析,对自己了解了许多。他发现自己爱美甚于爱名,而他急于成名又主要是为了露丝——因此他有强烈的成名欲,希望自己在世人眼中了不起,用他自己的话说,是“像模像样”。其目的是为了让他深爱的女人引为自豪,相信他很有出息。

说到他自己,他对美怀着满腔热情。只要能够为美服务对他已是足够的报偿。而他爱露丝又甚于爱美。他认为爱情是世界上最美好的东西。引起他心里这场革命的正是爱情。是爱情把他从一个粗鲁的水手变成了一个学生,一个艺术家。因此,在他眼里爱情比学问和艺术都伟大,是三者中最伟大的。他已经发现他的脑子比露丝想得更多,正如比她的弟弟和爸爸想得更多一样。尽管她具有大学教育的一切优势,尽管他面对的是她的学士学位,他的智慧的力量依然能使她相形见细。他这一年左右的自学和装备让他深刻地了解了世界、艺术和人生,而那是她万万办不到的。

这一切他都明白。但那并不影响他对露丝的爱,也不影响露丝对他的爱。爱情太美好,太高贵,他又是太忠诚的情人,他不能用批评指责来玷污它。爱清跟露丝对艺术、对正确行为、对法国革命、或是对选举权平等的不同看法能有什么关系?那都是思维的过程,可爱情是高于理智的,驾凌于理智以上。他不能小看了爱情。他崇拜爱情。爱情高卧在峡谷地区以外的山峰之巅,是存在的升华,是生活的极顶,是很少降临人世的。由于他所喜爱的科学哲学家流派,他懂得了爱情的生物学意义;但是通过同样的细致的科学推理他达到了一个结论:人类的生理结构在爱情中达到了最高目标。爱情不容怀疑,只能被接受为生命的最高回报。因此他认为情人是一切生灵中最幸福的人,一想起“颠倒膜拜的恋人”高于世间一切,高于财富和判断,高于舆论和赞美,高于生命本身,高于“一吻便死去”,他便非常快活。

许多这类道理马丁早就明白了,有些道理他后来也明白了。这时他干起了工作,过着斯巴达式的苦行生活,除了去看露丝从不消遣。他从一个葡萄牙女房东租来一个小房间,每月安科两块五毛。房东叫玛利亚·西尔伐,是个利落的寡妇,吃苦耐劳,脾气却精,拉扯着一大群娃娃,不时用一加仑淡薄的酸酒醉却她的疲劳和忧伤——那酒是她花五毛钱从街角的杂货店兼沙龙买来的。马丁起初报讨厌她那肮脏的舌头,后来见到她的勇敢奋斗便不禁生了几分敬意。那小屋只有四间房——除去马丁那间,只有三间。一间是客厅,铺了张彩色地毯,带了几分喜气;却挂了一份讣告和已死去的众多孩子中的一个的遗像,又带了几分忧伤。这间房严格规定只接待客人,百叶窗总是关着,除非有大事,是她那群光脚丫的小宝贝决不许擅入的基地。她在厨房因做饭,一家人在那儿吃饭,除了星期天她也在那里洗衣服,浆在服,熨衣服,因为她的收入主要得靠替她较为兴旺的邻居浆洗衣服。剩f的那间屋就是寝室,跟马丁那间一般大小,她和她那七个孩子都挤在里面睡觉。马丁对她们怎么能挤得下去永远觉得神秘。在薄薄的板壁那边地每天晚上都听见每一个细节:上床、叫喊、争吵、温和的细语和小鸟一样的睡意朦胧的啁啾。玛利亚的另一笔收入来自她的母牛,一共两只,她每人早晚都要从它们身上挤奶。那两条牛是靠偷吃空地和公用道路两边的青草活命的。通常由她一两个衣衫褴楼的娃娃看着,他们总警惕地守望着,主要是担心畜栏管事出现。

马丁就在他这间小房组生活、睡觉。读书、写作、做家务。屋子仅有一扇窗户面对着小小的门廊,窗前是一张厨房里用的桌子,权且充作书桌、图书馆和打字机台。靠后墙的床占据了屋子全部空间的三分之二。桌子一旁是一个花哨的柜子,原是做来赚钱不为实用的。上面的装饰板每天都在脱落。这柜子在屋角,在桌子的另一面,在另一个角落望是厨房——煤油炉放在一个布匹箱上。布匹箱里是婉盏和炊事用品。墙上有个放食物的架子,地面上放一桶水。屋里没有龙头,马丁得到厨房的水槽去取水。在屋里蒸汽很多的日子,从桌上装饰板脱落的碎片便获得特大丰收。他的自行车用辘轳挂在床顶的天花板下。最初他试过把它放在地下室里,可是西尔伐家的娃娃们却把轴承弄松,把轮胎扎破,把他赶了出去。然后他试了试前门那小小的门廊,那兀一场咆哮的东南风又把轮子浸泡了一夜。最后他只好撤退到自己的房里,把它挂到了空中。

一个小橱里放着他的衣服和搜集来的书籍——桌上桌下都放不下了。他在读书时养成了做笔记的习惯,笔记记得太多,若不是在屋里牵了几根洗衣绳把它们全挂了起来,在这有限的空间里他就会容身不下了。即使如此,屋里也太挤,“航行”起来太困难。不关柜橱门就打不开房门,反过来也一样。他无法从任何地方直线穿过屋子。从门口到床头得拐来拐去,很难在黑暗里通过而不碰到东西。在解决了门和门的矛盾之后,他得住右急转,绕开“厨房”。然后又得左拐以免碰上床脚。要是拐得过了分又会撞上桌子脚。等他匆匆一歪一蹶,不再拐弯,便得沿着“运河”再往右弯,“运河”的此岸是床,彼岸是桌子。若是屋里唯一的椅子放在了桌前平常的地点,“运河”航行就会受阻。椅子在不用的时候只好躺在床上,虽然做饭时他有时也坐椅子,一边让水开着一边读书;甚至炸着牛排也能巧妙地读上一两段。构成厨房的那个角落很小,需要什么东西他坐着也能伸手拿到。实际上,坐着做饭反倒方便;要是站着,倒常常会自己挡了自己的路。

他不但有一个无懈可击的胃,什么东西都能消化,而且知道各种既营养又便宜的食物。豌豆汤是他菜谱上的常见莱,还有土豆和蚕豆。蚕豆做成墨西哥口味,大大的,黄褐色。他桌上每天至少有一顿米饭,做法跟美国主妇大不相同,她们也永远学不会。干果要比鲜果便宜,他通常都有一罐,做得好好的,可以随时取用,用它代替黄油涂面包。有时他还买圈牛后腿肉,或是炖汤的骨头给饭桌增添光彩。他每天喝两次咖啡,不加奶油或牛奶,晚上喝代用品茶。咖啡和茶都沏得很美妙。

他需要节省。他的假期差不多花光了在洗衣房挣来的钱。而他距离他的“市场”又很远,他的那些下锅之作希望得到的最早的回音也需要几个礼拜。除了跟露丝见面和去看他姐姐格特露的时间之外,他都过着隐士般的生活,每天至少要完成平常人三天的工作。他只睡短短的五个小时。只有他那种结实得像钢铁一样的人才能有他那种耐力。他每天连续苦读十九个小时,天天如此。他一分一秒也不浪费。镜子上贴着几张发音和定义的单子,刮胡子、穿衣服。或是梳头时都可以默记。煤油炉上方的墙上也钉有类似的单子,做饭或洗碗时一样可以记。不断有新的单子替换旧的。读书时碰见的生词或是不全熟的词都立即记下,积累到一定的数目,就用打字机打出来钉在墙上或贴在镜子上。他甚至把单子塞在口袋里,上街时也抽空复习,在肉店杂货店等着买东西时也复习。

这还不够,他在读成功作家的作品时,总记下他们的每一个成默,分析出他们成功的窍门——叙述的窍门,表达的窍门,风格的窍门,他们的观点,对比手法和警句。把这一切列成单于,加以研究。他并不亦步亦趋,只追求其中的原理。他把有效的、动人的独特格调剂成年干,再把来自诸多作家的独特格调进行归纳,找出一般原则。像这样武装起来之后,他再去寻求自己的独特格调,要与众不同,要新颖出奇,再对它恰当地给以权衡、估量和评价。他也用同样的方法去搜集富有表现力的词语,从生动活泼的语言中出现的词语,能像酸那样咬人。像山那样烧火的词语,或是能在平常语言的荒漠中融融发光、醇厚甘美的词语。他总是寻求着躲在背后和底奥中的原则。他要求知道的是究竟怎么做,以求自己也能做。他不满足于美的漂亮外表。他在他那拥挤的小卧室兼实验室里解剖了美。那屋里炊事的气味跟屋外西尔伐家族疯人院式的吵闹交替出现。在解剖和懂得了美的结构之后,他距离能够创造美自身就近百一步。

只有懂了他才能做,那是他的天性。他不能在黑暗经盲目工作,不知道自己要创造什么,不能碰运气,不能相信自己人才的幸运之星能创造出可取的美好的东西。他对偶然的效果没有耐心。他要求知道原因和做法。他的天才是审慎的创造天才。在他汗始一篇小说或一首诗歌之前,那东西已经活跃在他脑子里。他看得见结尾,心里也明白通向结尾的路。否则那努力就注定了要白费。另一方面他又欣赏轻松自如地出现在他脑子里的字词句的偶然效果。这种效果以后能经得起美和力的种种考验,能产生无法描述的巨大的联想情趣。他可这种现象俯首低头,惊讶莫名。他知道那是任何人所无法有意追求到的。而且无论他为了寻求美的底蕴和使美得以实现的原理曾对美作过多少解剖分析,他也一向明白美的底奥是神秘的,他无法参透,也没有人曾经参透过。通过斯宾塞他懂得人不可能获得对于任何东西的终极知识,美的奥秘并不比生命的奥秘更容易参透——不,更难——美的素质限生命的素质是互相纠结的,他自己也不过是那无法理解的素质的一个部分,是由阳光、星尘和奇迹纠结成的。

事实上他正是在心里充满这种思想时写出了他那篇叫做《星尘》的论文的。在《星尘》里他批评的不是批评的原理而是主要的批评家。这论文精彩、深刻、富于哲理,妙语解颐,能令人哑然失笑。可它没出去历然立即被各家杂志拒绝了。不过在他把这事忘掉之后,又心平气和地前进了。他已养成了这样的习惯,一个问题经过反复思考,逐渐成熟,他便用打字机把它匆匆记下来,并不把没有发表当成多大回事。用打字机写出只是长期心灵活动的结束行为,是对分散的思路的归纳,是对压在心上的种种材料的总结,是一种故意的努力,以便解放心灵,接受新的材料,研究新的问题。那在一定程度上跟普通男女在受到真正的、或是想当然的委屈时候的习惯差不多,他们总要不时地打破长期的沉默,大发牢骚,“畅所欲言”,直到吐尽了苦水为止。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 24楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  24


The weeks passed. Martin ran out of money, and publishers' checks were far away as ever. All his important manuscripts had come back and been started out again, and his hack-work fared no better. His little kitchen was no longer graced with a variety of foods. Caught in the pinch with a part sack of rice and a few pounds of dried apricots, rice and apricots was his menu three times a day for five days hand-running. Then he startled to realize on his credit. The Portuguese grocer, to whom he had hitherto paid cash, called a halt when Martin's bill reached the magnificent total of three dollars and eighty-five cents.




"For you see," said the grocer, "you no catcha da work, I losa da mon'."




And Martin could reply nothing. There was no way of explaining. It was not true business principle to allow credit to a strong- bodied young fellow of the working-class who was too lazy to work.




"You catcha da job, I let you have mora da grub," the grocer assured Martin. "No job, no grub. Thata da business." And then, to show that it was purely business foresight and not prejudice, "Hava da drink on da house - good friends justa da same."




So Martin drank, in his easy way, to show that he was good friends with the house, and then went supperless to bed.




The fruit store, where Martin had bought his vegetables, was run by an American whose business principles were so weak that he let Martin run a bill of five dollars before stopping his credit. The baker stopped at two dollars, and the butcher at four dollars. Martin added his debts and found that he was possessed of a total credit in all the world of fourteen dollars and eighty-five cents. He was up with his type-writer rent, but he estimated that he could get two months' credit on that, which would be eight dollars. When that occurred, he would have exhausted all possible credit.




The last purchase from the fruit store had been a sack of potatoes, and for a week he had potatoes, and nothing but potatoes, three times a day. An occasional dinner at Ruth's helped to keep strength in his body, though he found it tantalizing enough to refuse further helping when his appetite was raging at sight of so much food spread before it. Now and again, though afflicted with secret shame, he dropped in at his sister's at meal-time and ate as much as he dared - more than he dared at the Morse table.




Day by day he worked on, and day by day the postman delivered to him rejected manuscripts. He had no money for stamps, so the manuscripts accumulated in a heap under the table. Came a day when for forty hours he had not tasted food. He could not hope for a meal at Ruth's, for she was away to San Rafael on a two weeks' visit; and for very shame's sake he could not go to his sister's. To cap misfortune, the postman, in his afternoon round, brought him five returned manuscripts. Then it was that Martin wore his overcoat down into Oakland, and came back without it, but with five dollars tinkling in his pocket. He paid a dollar each on account to the four tradesmen, and in his kitchen fried steak and onions, made coffee, and stewed a large pot of prunes. And having dined, he sat down at his table-desk and completed before midnight an essay which he entitled "The Dignity of Usury." Having typed it out, he flung it under the table, for there had been nothing left from the five dollars with which to buy stamps.




Later on he pawned his watch, and still later his wheel, reducing the amount available for food by putting stamps on all his manuscripts and sending them out. He was disappointed with his hack-work. Nobody cared to buy. He compared it with what he found in the newspapers, weeklies, and cheap magazines, and decided that his was better, far better, than the average; yet it would not sell. Then he discovered that most of the newspapers printed a great deal of what was called "plate" stuff, and he got the address of the association that furnished it. His own work that he sent in was returned, along with a stereotyped slip informing him that the staff supplied all the copy that was needed.




In one of the great juvenile periodicals he noted whole columns of incident and anecdote. Here was a chance. His paragraphs were returned, and though he tried repeatedly he never succeeded in placing one. Later on, when it no longer mattered, he learned that the associate editors and sub-editors augmented their salaries by supplying those paragraphs themselves. The comic weeklies returned his jokes and humorous verse, and the light society verse he wrote for the large magazines found no abiding-place. Then there was the newspaper storiette. He knew that he could write better ones than were published. Managing to obtain the addresses of two newspaper syndicates, he deluged them with storiettes. When he had written twenty and failed to place one of them, he ceased. And yet, from day to day, he read storiettes in the dailies and weeklies, scores and scores of storiettes, not one of which would compare with his. In his despondency, he concluded that he had no judgment whatever, that he was hypnotized by what he wrote, and that he was a self- deluded pretender.




The inhuman editorial machine ran smoothly as ever. He folded the stamps in with his manuscript, dropped it into the letter-box, and from three weeks to a month afterward the postman came up the steps and handed him the manuscript. Surely there were no live, warm editors at the other end. It was all wheels and cogs and oil-cups - a clever mechanism operated by automatons. He reached stages of despair wherein he doubted if editors existed at all. He had never received a sign of the existence of one, and from absence of judgment in rejecting all he wrote it seemed plausible that editors were myths, manufactured and maintained by office boys, typesetters, and pressmen.




The hours he spent with Ruth were the only happy ones he had, and they were not all happy. He was afflicted always with a gnawing restlessness, more tantalizing than in the old days before he possessed her love; for now that he did possess her love, the possession of her was far away as ever. He had asked for two years; time was flying, and he was achieving nothing. Again, he was always conscious of the fact that she did not approve what he was doing. She did not say so directly. Yet indirectly she let him understand it as clearly and definitely as she could have spoken it. It was not resentment with her, but disapproval; though less sweet-natured women might have resented where she was no more than disappointed. Her disappointment lay in that this man she had taken to mould, refused to be moulded. To a certain extent she had found his clay plastic, then it had developed stubbornness, declining to be shaped in the image of her father or of Mr. Butler.




What was great and strong in him, she missed, or, worse yet, misunderstood. This man, whose clay was so plastic that he could live in any number of pigeonholes of human existence, she thought wilful and most obstinate because she could not shape him to live in her pigeonhole, which was the only one she knew. She could not follow the flights of his mind, and when his brain got beyond her, she deemed him erratic. Nobody else's brain ever got beyond her. She could always follow her father and mother, her brothers and Olney; wherefore, when she could not follow Martin, she believed the fault lay with him. It was the old tragedy of insularity trying to serve as mentor to the universal.




"You worship at the shrine of the established," he told her once, in a discussion they had over Praps and Vanderwater. "I grant that as authorities to quote they are most excellent - the two foremost literary critics in the United States. Every school teacher in the land looks up to Vanderwater as the Dean of American criticism. Yet I read his stuff, and it seems to me the perfection of the felicitous expression of the inane. Why, he is no more than a ponderous bromide, thanks to Gelett Burgess. And Praps is no better. His 'Hemlock Mosses,' for instance is beautifully written. Not a comma is out of place; and the tone - ah! - is lofty, so lofty. He is the best-paid critic in the United States. Though, Heaven forbid! he's not a critic at all. They do criticism better in England.




"But the point is, they sound the popular note, and they sound it so beautifully and morally and contentedly. Their reviews remind me of a British Sunday. They are the popular mouthpieces. They back up your professors of English, and your professors of English back them up. And there isn't an original idea in any of their skulls. They know only the established, - in fact, they are the established. They are weak minded, and the established impresses itself upon them as easily as the name of the brewery is impressed on a beer bottle. And their function is to catch all the young fellows attending the university, to drive out of their minds any glimmering originality that may chance to be there, and to put upon them the stamp of the established."




"I think I am nearer the truth," she replied, "when I stand by the established, than you are, raging around like an iconoclastic South Sea Islander."




"It was the missionary who did the image breaking," he laughed. "And unfortunately, all the missionaries are off among the heathen, so there are none left at home to break those old images, Mr. Vanderwater and Mr. Praps."




"And the college professors, as well," she added.




He shook his head emphatically. "No; the science professors should live. They're really great. But it would be a good deed to break the heads of nine-tenths of the English professors - little, microscopic-minded parrots!"




Which was rather severe on the professors, but which to Ruth was blasphemy. She could not help but measure the professors, neat, scholarly, in fitting clothes, speaking in well-modulated voices, breathing of culture and refinement, with this almost indescribable young fellow whom somehow she loved, whose clothes never would fit him, whose heavy muscles told of damning toil, who grew excited when he talked, substituting abuse for calm statement and passionate utterance for cool self-possession. They at least earned good salaries and were - yes, she compelled herself to face it - were gentlemen; while he could not earn a penny, and he was not as they.




She did not weigh Martin's words nor judge his argument by them. Her conclusion that his argument was wrong was reached - unconsciously, it is true - by a comparison of externals. They, the professors, were right in their literary judgments because they were successes. Martin's literary judgments were wrong because he could not sell his wares. To use his own phrase, they made good, and he did not make good. And besides, it did not seem reasonable that he should be right - he who had stood, so short a time before, in that same living room, blushing and awkward, acknowledging his introduction, looking fearfully about him at the bric-a-brac his swinging shoulders threatened to break, asking how long since Swinburne died, and boastfully announcing that he had read "Excelsior" and the "Psalm of Life."




Unwittingly, Ruth herself proved his point that she worshipped the established. Martin followed the processes of her thoughts, but forbore to go farther. He did not love her for what she thought of Praps and Vanderwater and English professors, and he was coming to realize, with increasing conviction, that he possessed brain-areas and stretches of knowledge which she could never comprehend nor know existed.




In music she thought him unreasonable, and in the matter of opera not only unreasonable but wilfully perverse.




"How did you like it?" she asked him one night, on the way home from the opera.




It was a night when he had taken her at the expense of a month's rigid economizing on food. After vainly waiting for him to speak about it, herself still tremulous and stirred by what she had just seen and heard, she had asked the question.




"I liked the overture," was his answer. "It was splendid."




"Yes, but the opera itself?"




"That was splendid too; that is, the orchestra was, though I'd have enjoyed it more if those jumping-jacks had kept quiet or gone off the stage."




Ruth was aghast.




"You don't mean Tetralani or Barillo?" she queried.




"All of them - the whole kit and crew."




"But they are great artists," she protested.




"They spoiled the music just the same, with their antics and unrealities."




"But don't you like Barillo's voice?" Ruth asked. "He is next to Caruso, they say."




"Of course I liked him, and I liked Tetralani even better. Her voice is exquisite - or at least I think so."




"But, but - " Ruth stammered. "I don't know what you mean, then. You admire their voices, yet say they spoiled the music."




"Precisely that. I'd give anything to hear them in concert, and I'd give even a bit more not to hear them when the orchestra is playing. I'm afraid I am a hopeless realist. Great singers are not great actors. To hear Barillo sing a love passage with the voice of an angel, and to hear Tetralani reply like another angel, and to hear it all accompanied by a perfect orgy of glowing and colorful music - is ravishing, most ravishing. I do not admit it. I assert it. But the whole effect is spoiled when I look at them - at Tetralani, five feet ten in her stocking feet and weighing a hundred and ninety pounds, and at Barillo, a scant five feet four, greasy-featured, with the chest of a squat, undersized blacksmith, and at the pair of them, attitudinizing, clasping their breasts, flinging their arms in the air like demented creatures in an asylum; and when I am expected to accept all this as the faithful illusion of a love-scene between a slender and beautiful princess and a handsome, romantic, young prince - why, I can't accept it, that's all. It's rot; it's absurd; it's unreal. That's what's the matter with it. It's not real. Don't tell me that anybody in this world ever made love that way. Why, if I'd made love to you in such fashion, you'd have boxed my ears."




"But you misunderstand," Ruth protested. "Every form of art has its limitations." (She was busy recalling a lecture she had heard at the university on the conventions of the arts.) "In painting there are only two dimensions to the canvas, yet you accept the illusion of three dimensions which the art of a painter enables him to throw into the canvas. In writing, again, the author must be omnipotent. You accept as perfectly legitimate the author's account of the secret thoughts of the heroine, and yet all the time you know that the heroine was alone when thinking these thoughts, and that neither the author nor any one else was capable of hearing them. And so with the stage, with sculpture, with opera, with every art form. Certain irreconcilable things must be accepted."




"Yes, I understood that," Martin answered. "All the arts have their conventions." (Ruth was surprised at his use of the word. It was as if he had studied at the university himself, instead of being ill-equipped from browsing at haphazard through the books in the library.) "But even the conventions must be real. Trees, painted on flat cardboard and stuck up on each side of the stage, we accept as a forest. It is a real enough convention. But, on the other hand, we would not accept a sea scene as a forest. We can't do it. It violates our senses. Nor would you, or, rather, should you, accept the ravings and writhings and agonized contortions of those two lunatics to-night as a convincing portrayal of love."




"But you don't hold yourself superior to all the judges of music?" she protested.




"No, no, not for a moment. I merely maintain my right as an individual. I have just been telling you what I think, in order to explain why the elephantine gambols of Madame Tetralani spoil the orchestra for me. The world's judges of music may all be right. But I am I, and I won't subordinate my taste to the unanimous judgment of mankind. If I don't like a thing, I don't like it, that's all; and there is no reason under the sun why I should ape a liking for it just because the majority of my fellow-creatures like it, or make believe they like it. I can't follow the fashions in the things I like or dislike."




"But music, you know, is a matter of training," Ruth argued; "and opera is even more a matter of training. May it not be - "




"That I am not trained in opera?" he dashed in.




She nodded.




"The very thing," he agreed. "And I consider I am fortunate in not having been caught when I was young. If I had, I could have wept sentimental tears to-night, and the clownish antics of that precious pair would have but enhanced the beauty of their voices and the beauty of the accompanying orchestra. You are right. It's mostly a matter of training. And I am too old, now. I must have the real or nothing. An illusion that won't convince is a palpable lie, and that's what grand opera is to me when little Barillo throws a fit, clutches mighty Tetralani in his arms (also in a fit), and tells her how passionately he adores her."




Again Ruth measured his thoughts by comparison of externals and in accordance with her belief in the established. Who was he that he should be right and all the cultured world wrong? His words and thoughts made no impression upon her. She was too firmly intrenched in the established to have any sympathy with revolutionary ideas. She had always been used to music, and she had enjoyed opera ever since she was a child, and all her world had enjoyed it, too. Then by what right did Martin Eden emerge, as he had so recently emerged, from his rag-time and working-class songs, and pass judgment on the world's music? She was vexed with him, and as she walked beside him she had a vague feeling of outrage. At the best, in her most charitable frame of mind, she considered the statement of his views to be a caprice, an erratic and uncalled-for prank. But when he took her in his arms at the door and kissed her good night in tender lover-fashion, she forgot everything in the outrush of her own love to him. And later, on a sleepless pillow, she puzzled, as she had often puzzled of late, as to how it was that she loved so strange a man, and loved him despite the disapproval of her people.




And next day Martin Eden cast hack-work aside, and at white heat hammered out an essay to which he gave the title, "The Philosophy of Illusion." A stamp started it on its travels, but it was destined to receive many stamps and to be started on many travels in the months that followed.
几个礼拜过去,马丁的钱用完了。出版社的支票服以前一样杏无音信。他的重要作品全都退回来又送走了。他的“下锅之作”遭遇也并不更妙。小厨房里再也没有种类繁多的食品,他已经山穷水尽,只剩下半袋米和几磅杏子干了。他的菜谱一连五天都是三餐大米加杏子干。然后他开始了赊账。他一向付现金的葡萄牙杂货店老板在他积欠达到三块八毛五的巨额之后就拒绝赊欠了。

“因为,你看,”杂货店老板说,“你找不到工作,这钱就得我亏。”

马丁无话可说。他没法解释。把东西赊给一个身强力壮却懒得上班的工人阶级小伙子不符合正常的生意原则。

“你找到工作我就给你吃的,”杂货店老板问他保证,“没有工作没有吃的,这是生意经。”接着,为了表现此举全是生意上的远见,而非偏见,他说:“我请你喝一杯吧——咱俩还是朋友。”

马丁轻轻松松喝了酒,表示跟老板还是朋友;然后便上了床,没吃晚饭。

马丁买菜的水果铺是个美国人开的。那人做生意原则性较差,直到马丁的积欠达到五块才停止了赊欠。面包店老板到两块便不赊了,屠户是四块时拒赊的。马丁把大债加起来,发现他在这世界上总共欠了十四元八毛五分。他的打字机租期也满了,但他估计能欠上两个月债。那又是八元。到时候他怕就会弄得赊欠无门了。

从水果店买到的最后的东西是一袋上豆。他就整个礼拜每日三餐净吃土豆——只有土豆,再也没有别的。偶然在露丝家吃顿饭能帮助他保持体力。虽然他见了满桌子的食物便饥肠辘辘,很难控制住自己不再吃下去。他也多次趁吃饭时到姐姐家去,在那儿放开胆子大吃一顿——比在莫尔斯家胆大多了,虽然心里暗自惭愧。

他一天天工作着,邮递员一天天给他送来退稿。他没有钱买邮票了,稿子只好在桌了堆积成了一大堆。有一天地已经是四十个小时没吃东西了。到露丝家去吃已没有希望,因为露丝已到圣拉非尔做客去了。要去两个礼拜。他也不能到姐姐家去,因为太不好意思。最倒霉的是,邮递员下午又给他送回了五份退稿。结果马丁穿了外套去了奥克兰,回来时外套没有了,口袋里叮叮当当多了五块钱。他给每位老板还了一块钱债,又在厨房里煎起了洋葱牛排,煮起了咖啡,还熬了一大罐梅子干。吃完饭他又在他那饭桌兼书桌旁坐了下来,午夜前写完了一篇散文,叫做《高利贷的尊严》,文章用打字机打完之后只好扔到桌下,因为五块钱已经花光,没钱买邮票了。

然后他当掉了手表,接着是自行车,给所有的稿子都贴上邮票,寄了出去,这又减少了所能到手的伙食费。他对写下锅之作感到失望,没有人愿买。他把它踉在报纸、周刊、廉价杂志上找到的东西比较,认为他的作品要比其中中等的作品好,好得多,可就是卖不掉。然后地发现许多报纸都大量出一种叫做“流行版”的东西。他弄到了提供这种稿子的协会的地址,可他送去的东西仍然被退了回来。退稿附有一张印好的条子,说他们全部所需稿件都由自己提供。他在一家大型少年期刊上发现了一整栏一整栏的奇闻轶事,认为是个机会。可他的短文仍然被退了回来。虽然他一再努力往外寄,总是没有用。后来到了他已经不在乎的时候,他才明白,那些副编辑和助理编辑为了增加收入自己就提供那种稿子。滑稽周刊也寄回了他的笑话和俏皮诗。他为大杂志写的轻松社交诗也没有找到出路。然后是报纸上的小小说。他知道自己能写出的小小说要比已经发表的好得多。他设法找到了两家报纸的供稿社地址,送去了一。连串小小说。一共二十篇,却一篇也没有卖掉。他这才不再写了。然而,他仍然每天看见小小说在日报和周刊上发表,成批成批的,没有一篇比得上他。他在绝望之余得到结论,他完全缺乏判断力,只是叫自己的作品催眠了。他看来是个自我陶醉的自封的作家。

没点火气的编辑机器照常油滑运转。他把回程邮票限稿件一起装好送进邮筒,三周到一个月之后邮递员便踏上台阶,把稿件送还给他。看来那一头肯定只有齿轮、螺丝钉和注油杯——一部由机器人操纵的聪明的机器,不存在有热度的活人。他非常失望,曾多次怀疑是否有编辑存在。他从来没有见到过一点点说明编辑存在的迹象。由于他的作品全都没提意见就被退了回来,若说编辑不过是由办公室的听差、排字工和印刷工所捏造出来并加以渲染的神话,也未尝没有道理。

跟露丝一起时是他仅有的欢乐时刻,而在那时双方又未必都快活。他永远感到痛苦:一种不安咬啮着他,比没有获得她的爱情时还要叫他不放心。因为他现在虽然获得了她的爱情,却跟仔何时候一样距离获得她还很远。他曾提出过以两年为期;可时光飞逝着,他却一事无成。何况他还一直意识到她不赞成他的做法——她虽然没有直接提出,却已分敲侧击让他明白了,跟直截了当告诉了他并无两样。她虽然没有怨言,却也没有赞成。性格不那么温和的女人也许会抱怨,她却只是失望,她失望了,她自告奋勇要想改造的这个人现在不接受改造了。她在一定程度上发现他这块泥土具有弹性,而且越变越顽强,拒绝按照她爸爸或是巴特勒先生的形象受到塑造。

她看不见他的伟大和坚强,更糟糕的是,误解了他。其实造成这个人的原料弹性是很大的,凡是人类能生存的鸽子笼里他都能生存,可她却认为他顽固,因为她无法把他塑造得能在她的那个鸽子笼果生存,而那是她所知道的唯一鸽子笼。她无法随着他的思想飞翔。他的思想一超出她的范围,她就断定地反常——从来没有人的思想超出过她的范围。她一向能跟上她爸爸、妈妈、弟弟和奥尔尼的思想。因此只要她跟不上马丁,便相信问题出在马丁身上。这是一个古老的悲剧:目光短浅者偏要充当胸襟辽阔者的导师。

“你是拜倒在现存秩序的神坛下了。”有一次两人讨论普拉卜斯和万德瓦特时,他告诉她,“我承认他们是出人头他的权威,他们的话受到引用——是美国两个最前列的文学批评家。美国的每一个教师都仰望万德瓦特,把他看做批评界的领袖。可是我读了他的东西,却认为那似乎是心灵空虚者的淋漓尽致的。准确不过的自白。你看,在台勒特·贝格斯的笔下,万德瓦特就不过是个傻乎乎的老冬烘。普拉卜斯也不比他高明。比如他的《铁杉苔》就写得很美,一个逗号都没用错,调子也很崇高,啊,崇高之至。他是美国收入最高的评论家。不过,非常遗憾!他根本不是批评家。英国的批评就要好得多。

“问题在于,他们唱的是大众的调子,而且唱得那么美,那么道貌岸然,那么心安理得。他们的观点令我想起英国人过的星期天。他们说的是大家说的话。他们是你们的英语教授的后台,你们的英语教授也是他们的后台。他们脑袋里就没有丝毫的独特见解。他们只知道现存秩序——实际上他们就是现存秩序。他们心灵孱弱,现存秩序在他们身上打上烙印就像啤酒厂在啤酒瓶上贴上标签一样容易。而他们的作用就是抓住上大学的青年,把一切偶然出现的闪光的独创意识从他们脑子里赶出去,给他们贴上现存秩序的标签。”

“我认为,”她回答,“在我站在现存秩序一边时,我比你更接近真理,你真像个南太平洋海岛上大发雷霆的偶像破坏者呢。”

“破坏偶像的是教会,”他大笑,“遗憾的是,所有的教会人员都跑到异教徒那儿去了,家里反而没有人来破坏万德瓦特先生和普拉卜斯先生这两尊古老的偶像。”

“还有大学教授的偶像,”她给他加上。

他使劲摇头:“不,教理科的教授还得要。他们是真正的伟大。但是英语教授的脑袋十分之九都该破一破——是些心眼小得要用显微镜才看得见的小鹦鹉。”

这话对教授们确实刻薄,在露丝看来更是亵读。她忍不住要用那些教授来衡量马丁。教授们一个个文质彬彬,语调控馆,衣着整洁称身,谈吐文明风雅。而马丁呢,是个几乎难以描述的年轻人,而她却不知怎么爱上了他。他的衣着从来就不称身,一身暴突的肌肉说明做过沉重的苦役。一说话就冲动,不是平静地叙述而是咒骂,不是冷静地自律而是激动地放言高论。教授们至少薪水丰厚,是君子——是的,她得强迫自己面对这一事实;而他却一文钱也赚不到,跟他们没法比。

她并不就马丁的话语和论点本身进行衡量,她是从外表的比较断定他的意见不对的——不错,那是无意识的。教授们对文学的判断对,因为他们是成功的人;而马丁对文学的判断不对,因为他的作品没人要。用他自己的话说,他的作品都“像模像样”,而他自己却不像个模样。而且,要说他对也讲不过去——不久以前,就在这起坐间里,他在被人介绍时还脸红,还尴尬,还害怕地望看那些小摆设,生怕他那晃动的肩头会把它们碰下来;还在问史文朋已经死了多久;还在夸耀地宣称他读过《精益求精》和《生命礼赞》。

露丝不知不觉地证明了马丁的论点:她对现存秩序顶礼膜拜。马丁能跟随她的思路,但是不肯再往前走。他不是因为她对普拉卜斯先生、万德瓦特先生和英语教授们的观点而爱她的。他还逐渐意识到,而且越来越坚信,他自己具有的思维空间和知识面是她所无法理解,甚至还不知道的。

她觉得他对音乐的看法没有道理,而对歌剧他就不仅是没有道理,而且是故作奇谈怪论了。

“你觉得怎么样?”有天晚上看完歌剧回来,她问他。

那天夜里地是勒紧了一个月裤带才带她去的。她还在颤抖,还在为刚看见和听见的东西激动。她等着他发表意见,却无反应,这才问了他这个问题。

“我喜欢它的序曲,”他回答,“很精彩。”

“对,可歌剧本身呢?”

“也精彩;我是说,乐队精彩,不过,若是那些蹦蹦跳跳的人索性闭上嘴或是离开舞台我倒会更喜欢的。”

露丝目瞪口呆。

“你不是要特绰兰尼或是巴瑞罗离开舞台吧?”她追问。

“全离开,一股脑儿全下。”

“可他们是伟大的艺术家呀。”她驳斥道。

“他们那些不真实的滑稽表演也一样破坏了音乐。”

“可是你难道不喜欢巴瑞罗的嗓子?”露丝问,“人家说他仅次于卡路索呢。”

“当然喜欢,而且更喜欢特绰兰尼,她的嗓子非常美妙——至少我是这么感觉的。”

“可是,可是——”露丝结巴了,“我不明白你的意思。你既然欣赏他们的嗓子,为什么又说他们破坏了音乐呢?”

“正是这样,若是叫我到音乐会去听他们唱歌,我什么代价都愿意付,可是歌剧乐队一演奏,我就宁可多付点钱让他们别唱。我怕我是个无可救药的现实主义者。伟大的歌唱家未必都是伟大的演员。听巴瑞罗用天使般的嗓子唱一段情歌,再听特绰兰尼像另一个天使那样唱一段回答,还加上色彩绚丽、光彩夺目的音乐伴奏,便是个十全十美的酒神节,简直能叫人沉醉,酩酊大醉。对此,我不光是承认,而是坚信。可是我一看见他们俩,整个效果就破坏了。我看特绰兰尼,两条胖腿,身高五英尺十英寸,体重一百九十磅;再看巴瑞罗,只有可怜的五英尺四英寸,一张油光光的脸,一副铁匠般的胸脯,却矮墩墩,不够尺寸。再看看这一对,装腔作势,抓着胸脯,像疯人院的狂人那样在空中挥舞着两条胳膊,却要我承认那是一个美丽窈窕的公主跟一个英俊潇洒的年轻王子的恋爱场面——嗨,我就是接受不了,只能接受不了。这是胡闹,是荒谬,是虚假。问题就在这儿:虚假。可别告诉我世界上有这么谈恋爱的。嗨,我要是像这样跟你谈恋爱,你准会扇我耳光的。”

“可是你误解了,”露丝抗议道,“每一种艺术都有它的限制。”(她正急着回忆她在大学听到的一个有关艺术传统的演讲。)“一幅画在画布上只有两度空间,但是你能接受三度空间的幻觉。那是画家的艺术在画布上的表现。写作也一样。作者必须无所不能。作者对女主人公的秘密思想所做的描述,你认为是完全合理的。可你也一直知道,女主人公在这样思索的时候是独自一人,无论是作者还是别人都没有可能听见她的话。舞台也如此,雕塑、歌剧和每一种形式的艺术也都如此。我们必须接受某些无可奈何的东西。”

“是的,那我也明白,”马丁回答,“一切艺术都有它的传统。”(露丝听见他用这个词不免感到惊讶,他简直像是上过大学一样,而不是不学无术,随随便便在图书馆找了些书看。)“但讲传统也得讲真实。把画在平面纸板上的树木固定在舞台两边,我们可以看作森林。而海洋的布景就不能看作森林,那是办不到的,它跟我们的感官矛盾。今天晚上那两个疯子的哇里哇啦、扭摆晃动、和痛苦的痉挛你也不会,或者说不应该,看作令人信服的爱情表演的。”

“可是你不会认为自己比音乐批评家更高明吧?”

“不,不,一刻也不。我只不过坚持我个人的权利。我刚才只是告诉你我的感想。目的是解释特绰兰尼夫人那大象式的蹦蹦跳跳为什么在我眼里破坏了歌剧。全世界的音乐评论家们都可能是对的。但我还是我,即使全人类的判断都一致,我也是不会让自己的口味屈从于它的。我不喜欢就是不喜欢,那就完了。在太阳底下就没有任何理由要求我因为我的大部分同胞喜欢它(或是装作喜欢它)而学着去喜欢它。我不能在个人爱好的问题上赶时髦。”

“可是,你知道,音乐是一种需要训练的东西,”露丝辩解道,“而歌剧尤其需要训练。你是不是——”

“我是不是对歌剧少了训练呢?”

她点点头。

“正是这样,”他表示同意,“我倒认为自己没有从小就迷上它是一种幸运,否则我今天晚上就会伤感地哭鼻子,而这两位可贵的小丑般的怪人的嗓子就会显得尤其甜蜜,乐队的伴奏也会显得更加美丽。你说得对,那大体是个训练的问题。而我现在已经太老。我要的就是真实,否则才可不要。没有说服力的幻觉是明显的谎:。在矮小的巴瑞罗感情冲动地搂着胖墩墩的特绰兰尼(她也是感情冲动),而且告诉她他是如何满腔热情地崇拜着她时,我已经明白什么是大歌剧了。”

露丝又一次拿他的外部条件作比较,并按照她对现存秩序的信任来衡量他的思想。他算得什么人物,难道一切有教养的人都错了,而他反倒对了?他的意见和话语都没有给她任何印象。她对现存秩序大迷信,对革命思想毫不同情。她一向习惯于音乐,从儿童时代起就欣赏歌剧,而她周围的人也都欣赏歌剧。马丁·伊登凭什么能从他那爵士乐和工人阶级歌曲中冒出来(他是最近才冒出来的时世界上的音乐品头论足?她为他烦恼。跟他走在一起时她模糊感到受了触犯。在她心里最感到怜惜的时候,她也只把地阐述的论点当作一时的奇谈怪论和毫无来由的俏皮话。但是,在地搂着她来到门口,跟她深情地吻别的时候,她却又热情澎湃,把什么都忘了。然后,当她躺在枕头上久久无法入睡时,便苦苦地思索着(她近来常常苦苦地思索),她怎么会爱上了这么个怪人。家里人都不赞成,她为什么偏偏爱上了他。

第二天马丁抛开了“下锅之作”,激情满怀地写成了一篇论文,名叫《幻觉的哲学》。贴了一张邮票打发它上了旅途。但它已注定了还要在以后的好几个月里贴上许多邮票、多次重上旅途。

第二十四章
几个礼拜过去,马丁的钱用完了。出版社的支票服以前一样杏无音信。他的重要作品全都退回来又送走了。他的“下锅之作”遭遇也并不更妙。小厨房里再也没有种类繁多的食品,他已经山穷水尽,只剩下半袋米和几磅杏子干了。他的菜谱一连五天都是三餐大米加杏子干。然后他开始了赊账。他一向付现金的葡萄牙杂货店老板在他积欠达到三块八毛五的巨额之后就拒绝赊欠了。

“因为,你看,”杂货店老板说,“你找不到工作,这钱就得我亏。”

马丁无话可说。他没法解释。把东西赊给一个身强力壮却懒得上班的工人阶级小伙子不符合正常的生意原则。

“你找到工作我就给你吃的,”杂货店老板问他保证,“没有工作没有吃的,这是生意经。”接着,为了表现此举全是生意上的远见,而非偏见,他说:“我请你喝一杯吧——咱俩还是朋友。”

马丁轻轻松松喝了酒,表示跟老板还是朋友;然后便上了床,没吃晚饭。

马丁买菜的水果铺是个美国人开的。那人做生意原则性较差,直到马丁的积欠达到五块才停止了赊欠。面包店老板到两块便不赊了,屠户是四块时拒赊的。马丁把大债加起来,发现他在这世界上总共欠了十四元八毛五分。他的打字机租期也满了,但他估计能欠上两个月债。那又是八元。到时候他怕就会弄得赊欠无门了。

从水果店买到的最后的东西是一袋上豆。他就整个礼拜每日三餐净吃土豆——只有土豆,再也没有别的。偶然在露丝家吃顿饭能帮助他保持体力。虽然他见了满桌子的食物便饥肠辘辘,很难控制住自己不再吃下去。他也多次趁吃饭时到姐姐家去,在那儿放开胆子大吃一顿——比在莫尔斯家胆大多了,虽然心里暗自惭愧。

他一天天工作着,邮递员一天天给他送来退稿。他没有钱买邮票了,稿子只好在桌了堆积成了一大堆。有一天地已经是四十个小时没吃东西了。到露丝家去吃已没有希望,因为露丝已到圣拉非尔做客去了。要去两个礼拜。他也不能到姐姐家去,因为太不好意思。最倒霉的是,邮递员下午又给他送回了五份退稿。结果马丁穿了外套去了奥克兰,回来时外套没有了,口袋里叮叮当当多了五块钱。他给每位老板还了一块钱债,又在厨房里煎起了洋葱牛排,煮起了咖啡,还熬了一大罐梅子干。吃完饭他又在他那饭桌兼书桌旁坐了下来,午夜前写完了一篇散文,叫做《高利贷的尊严》,文章用打字机打完之后只好扔到桌下,因为五块钱已经花光,没钱买邮票了。

然后他当掉了手表,接着是自行车,给所有的稿子都贴上邮票,寄了出去,这又减少了所能到手的伙食费。他对写下锅之作感到失望,没有人愿买。他把它踉在报纸、周刊、廉价杂志上找到的东西比较,认为他的作品要比其中中等的作品好,好得多,可就是卖不掉。然后地发现许多报纸都大量出一种叫做“流行版”的东西。他弄到了提供这种稿子的协会的地址,可他送去的东西仍然被退了回来。退稿附有一张印好的条子,说他们全部所需稿件都由自己提供。他在一家大型少年期刊上发现了一整栏一整栏的奇闻轶事,认为是个机会。可他的短文仍然被退了回来。虽然他一再努力往外寄,总是没有用。后来到了他已经不在乎的时候,他才明白,那些副编辑和助理编辑为了增加收入自己就提供那种稿子。滑稽周刊也寄回了他的笑话和俏皮诗。他为大杂志写的轻松社交诗也没有找到出路。然后是报纸上的小小说。他知道自己能写出的小小说要比已经发表的好得多。他设法找到了两家报纸的供稿社地址,送去了一。连串小小说。一共二十篇,却一篇也没有卖掉。他这才不再写了。然而,他仍然每天看见小小说在日报和周刊上发表,成批成批的,没有一篇比得上他。他在绝望之余得到结论,他完全缺乏判断力,只是叫自己的作品催眠了。他看来是个自我陶醉的自封的作家。

没点火气的编辑机器照常油滑运转。他把回程邮票限稿件一起装好送进邮筒,三周到一个月之后邮递员便踏上台阶,把稿件送还给他。看来那一头肯定只有齿轮、螺丝钉和注油杯——一部由机器人操纵的聪明的机器,不存在有热度的活人。他非常失望,曾多次怀疑是否有编辑存在。他从来没有见到过一点点说明编辑存在的迹象。由于他的作品全都没提意见就被退了回来,若说编辑不过是由办公室的听差、排字工和印刷工所捏造出来并加以渲染的神话,也未尝没有道理。

跟露丝一起时是他仅有的欢乐时刻,而在那时双方又未必都快活。他永远感到痛苦:一种不安咬啮着他,比没有获得她的爱情时还要叫他不放心。因为他现在虽然获得了她的爱情,却跟仔何时候一样距离获得她还很远。他曾提出过以两年为期;可时光飞逝着,他却一事无成。何况他还一直意识到她不赞成他的做法——她虽然没有直接提出,却已分敲侧击让他明白了,跟直截了当告诉了他并无两样。她虽然没有怨言,却也没有赞成。性格不那么温和的女人也许会抱怨,她却只是失望,她失望了,她自告奋勇要想改造的这个人现在不接受改造了。她在一定程度上发现他这块泥土具有弹性,而且越变越顽强,拒绝按照她爸爸或是巴特勒先生的形象受到塑造。

她看不见他的伟大和坚强,更糟糕的是,误解了他。其实造成这个人的原料弹性是很大的,凡是人类能生存的鸽子笼里他都能生存,可她却认为他顽固,因为她无法把他塑造得能在她的那个鸽子笼果生存,而那是她所知道的唯一鸽子笼。她无法随着他的思想飞翔。他的思想一超出她的范围,她就断定地反常——从来没有人的思想超出过她的范围。她一向能跟上她爸爸、妈妈、弟弟和奥尔尼的思想。因此只要她跟不上马丁,便相信问题出在马丁身上。这是一个古老的悲剧:目光短浅者偏要充当胸襟辽阔者的导师。

“你是拜倒在现存秩序的神坛下了。”有一次两人讨论普拉卜斯和万德瓦特时,他告诉她,“我承认他们是出人头他的权威,他们的话受到引用——是美国两个最前列的文学批评家。美国的每一个教师都仰望万德瓦特,把他看做批评界的领袖。可是我读了他的东西,却认为那似乎是心灵空虚者的淋漓尽致的。准确不过的自白。你看,在台勒特·贝格斯的笔下,万德瓦特就不过是个傻乎乎的老冬烘。普拉卜斯也不比他高明。比如他的《铁杉苔》就写得很美,一个逗号都没用错,调子也很崇高,啊,崇高之至。他是美国收入最高的评论家。不过,非常遗憾!他根本不是批评家。英国的批评就要好得多。

“问题在于,他们唱的是大众的调子,而且唱得那么美,那么道貌岸然,那么心安理得。他们的观点令我想起英国人过的星期天。他们说的是大家说的话。他们是你们的英语教授的后台,你们的英语教授也是他们的后台。他们脑袋里就没有丝毫的独特见解。他们只知道现存秩序——实际上他们就是现存秩序。他们心灵孱弱,现存秩序在他们身上打上烙印就像啤酒厂在啤酒瓶上贴上标签一样容易。而他们的作用就是抓住上大学的青年,把一切偶然出现的闪光的独创意识从他们脑子里赶出去,给他们贴上现存秩序的标签。”

“我认为,”她回答,“在我站在现存秩序一边时,我比你更接近真理,你真像个南太平洋海岛上大发雷霆的偶像破坏者呢。”

“破坏偶像的是教会,”他大笑,“遗憾的是,所有的教会人员都跑到异教徒那儿去了,家里反而没有人来破坏万德瓦特先生和普拉卜斯先生这两尊古老的偶像。”

“还有大学教授的偶像,”她给他加上。

他使劲摇头:“不,教理科的教授还得要。他们是真正的伟大。但是英语教授的脑袋十分之九都该破一破——是些心眼小得要用显微镜才看得见的小鹦鹉。”

这话对教授们确实刻薄,在露丝看来更是亵读。她忍不住要用那些教授来衡量马丁。教授们一个个文质彬彬,语调控馆,衣着整洁称身,谈吐文明风雅。而马丁呢,是个几乎难以描述的年轻人,而她却不知怎么爱上了他。他的衣着从来就不称身,一身暴突的肌肉说明做过沉重的苦役。一说话就冲动,不是平静地叙述而是咒骂,不是冷静地自律而是激动地放言高论。教授们至少薪水丰厚,是君子——是的,她得强迫自己面对这一事实;而他却一文钱也赚不到,跟他们没法比。

她并不就马丁的话语和论点本身进行衡量,她是从外表的比较断定他的意见不对的——不错,那是无意识的。教授们对文学的判断对,因为他们是成功的人;而马丁对文学的判断不对,因为他的作品没人要。用他自己的话说,他的作品都“像模像样”,而他自己却不像个模样。而且,要说他对也讲不过去——不久以前,就在这起坐间里,他在被人介绍时还脸红,还尴尬,还害怕地望看那些小摆设,生怕他那晃动的肩头会把它们碰下来;还在问史文朋已经死了多久;还在夸耀地宣称他读过《精益求精》和《生命礼赞》。

露丝不知不觉地证明了马丁的论点:她对现存秩序顶礼膜拜。马丁能跟随她的思路,但是不肯再往前走。他不是因为她对普拉卜斯先生、万德瓦特先生和英语教授们的观点而爱她的。他还逐渐意识到,而且越来越坚信,他自己具有的思维空间和知识面是她所无法理解,甚至还不知道的。

她觉得他对音乐的看法没有道理,而对歌剧他就不仅是没有道理,而且是故作奇谈怪论了。

“你觉得怎么样?”有天晚上看完歌剧回来,她问他。

那天夜里地是勒紧了一个月裤带才带她去的。她还在颤抖,还在为刚看见和听见的东西激动。她等着他发表意见,却无反应,这才问了他这个问题。

“我喜欢它的序曲,”他回答,“很精彩。”

“对,可歌剧本身呢?”

“也精彩;我是说,乐队精彩,不过,若是那些蹦蹦跳跳的人索性闭上嘴或是离开舞台我倒会更喜欢的。”

露丝目瞪口呆。

“你不是要特绰兰尼或是巴瑞罗离开舞台吧?”她追问。

“全离开,一股脑儿全下。”

“可他们是伟大的艺术家呀。”她驳斥道。

“他们那些不真实的滑稽表演也一样破坏了音乐。”

“可是你难道不喜欢巴瑞罗的嗓子?”露丝问,“人家说他仅次于卡路索呢。”

“当然喜欢,而且更喜欢特绰兰尼,她的嗓子非常美妙——至少我是这么感觉的。”

“可是,可是——”露丝结巴了,“我不明白你的意思。你既然欣赏他们的嗓子,为什么又说他们破坏了音乐呢?”

“正是这样,若是叫我到音乐会去听他们唱歌,我什么代价都愿意付,可是歌剧乐队一演奏,我就宁可多付点钱让他们别唱。我怕我是个无可救药的现实主义者。伟大的歌唱家未必都是伟大的演员。听巴瑞罗用天使般的嗓子唱一段情歌,再听特绰兰尼像另一个天使那样唱一段回答,还加上色彩绚丽、光彩夺目的音乐伴奏,便是个十全十美的酒神节,简直能叫人沉醉,酩酊大醉。对此,我不光是承认,而是坚信。可是我一看见他们俩,整个效果就破坏了。我看特绰兰尼,两条胖腿,身高五英尺十英寸,体重一百九十磅;再看巴瑞罗,只有可怜的五英尺四英寸,一张油光光的脸,一副铁匠般的胸脯,却矮墩墩,不够尺寸。再看看这一对,装腔作势,抓着胸脯,像疯人院的狂人那样在空中挥舞着两条胳膊,却要我承认那是一个美丽窈窕的公主跟一个英俊潇洒的年轻王子的恋爱场面——嗨,我就是接受不了,只能接受不了。这是胡闹,是荒谬,是虚假。问题就在这儿:虚假。可别告诉我世界上有这么谈恋爱的。嗨,我要是像这样跟你谈恋爱,你准会扇我耳光的。”

“可是你误解了,”露丝抗议道,“每一种艺术都有它的限制。”(她正急着回忆她在大学听到的一个有关艺术传统的演讲。)“一幅画在画布上只有两度空间,但是你能接受三度空间的幻觉。那是画家的艺术在画布上的表现。写作也一样。作者必须无所不能。作者对女主人公的秘密思想所做的描述,你认为是完全合理的。可你也一直知道,女主人公在这样思索的时候是独自一人,无论是作者还是别人都没有可能听见她的话。舞台也如此,雕塑、歌剧和每一种形式的艺术也都如此。我们必须接受某些无可奈何的东西。”

“是的,那我也明白,”马丁回答,“一切艺术都有它的传统。”(露丝听见他用这个词不免感到惊讶,他简直像是上过大学一样,而不是不学无术,随随便便在图书馆找了些书看。)“但讲传统也得讲真实。把画在平面纸板上的树木固定在舞台两边,我们可以看作森林。而海洋的布景就不能看作森林,那是办不到的,它跟我们的感官矛盾。今天晚上那两个疯子的哇里哇啦、扭摆晃动、和痛苦的痉挛你也不会,或者说不应该,看作令人信服的爱情表演的。”

“可是你不会认为自己比音乐批评家更高明吧?”

“不,不,一刻也不。我只不过坚持我个人的权利。我刚才只是告诉你我的感想。目的是解释特绰兰尼夫人那大象式的蹦蹦跳跳为什么在我眼里破坏了歌剧。全世界的音乐评论家们都可能是对的。但我还是我,即使全人类的判断都一致,我也是不会让自己的口味屈从于它的。我不喜欢就是不喜欢,那就完了。在太阳底下就没有任何理由要求我因为我的大部分同胞喜欢它(或是装作喜欢它)而学着去喜欢它。我不能在个人爱好的问题上赶时髦。”

“可是,你知道,音乐是一种需要训练的东西,”露丝辩解道,“而歌剧尤其需要训练。你是不是——”

“我是不是对歌剧少了训练呢?”

她点点头。

“正是这样,”他表示同意,“我倒认为自己没有从小就迷上它是一种幸运,否则我今天晚上就会伤感地哭鼻子,而这两位可贵的小丑般的怪人的嗓子就会显得尤其甜蜜,乐队的伴奏也会显得更加美丽。你说得对,那大体是个训练的问题。而我现在已经太老。我要的就是真实,否则才可不要。没有说服力的幻觉是明显的谎:。在矮小的巴瑞罗感情冲动地搂着胖墩墩的特绰兰尼(她也是感情冲动),而且告诉她他是如何满腔热情地崇拜着她时,我已经明白什么是大歌剧了。”

露丝又一次拿他的外部条件作比较,并按照她对现存秩序的信任来衡量他的思想。他算得什么人物,难道一切有教养的人都错了,而他反倒对了?他的意见和话语都没有给她任何印象。她对现存秩序大迷信,对革命思想毫不同情。她一向习惯于音乐,从儿童时代起就欣赏歌剧,而她周围的人也都欣赏歌剧。马丁·伊登凭什么能从他那爵士乐和工人阶级歌曲中冒出来(他是最近才冒出来的时世界上的音乐品头论足?她为他烦恼。跟他走在一起时她模糊感到受了触犯。在她心里最感到怜惜的时候,她也只把地阐述的论点当作一时的奇谈怪论和毫无来由的俏皮话。但是,在地搂着她来到门口,跟她深情地吻别的时候,她却又热情澎湃,把什么都忘了。然后,当她躺在枕头上久久无法入睡时,便苦苦地思索着(她近来常常苦苦地思索),她怎么会爱上了这么个怪人。家里人都不赞成,她为什么偏偏爱上了他。

第二天马丁抛开了“下锅之作”,激情满怀地写成了一篇论文,名叫《幻觉的哲学》。贴了一张邮票打发它上了旅途。但它已注定了还要在以后的好几个月里贴上许多邮票、多次重上旅途。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 25楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  25


Maria Silva was poor, and all the ways of poverty were clear to her. Poverty, to Ruth, was a word signifying a not-nice condition of existence. That was her total knowledge on the subject. She knew Martin was poor, and his condition she associated in her mind with the boyhood of Abraham Lincoln, of Mr. Butler, and of other men who had become successes. Also, while aware that poverty was anything but delectable, she had a comfortable middle-class feeling that poverty was salutary, that it was a sharp spur that urged on to success all men who were not degraded and hopeless drudges. So that her knowledge that Martin was so poor that he had pawned his watch and overcoat did not disturb her. She even considered it the hopeful side of the situation, believing that sooner or later it would arouse him and compel him to abandon his writing.




Ruth never read hunger in Martin's face, which had grown lean and had enlarged the slight hollows in the cheeks. In fact, she marked the change in his face with satisfaction. It seemed to refine him, to remove from him much of the dross of flesh and the too animal- like vigor that lured her while she detested it. Sometimes, when with her, she noted an unusual brightness in his eyes, and she admired it, for it made him appear more the poet and the scholar - the things he would have liked to be and which she would have liked him to be. But Maria Silva read a different tale in the hollow cheeks and the burning eyes, and she noted the changes in them from day to day, by them following the ebb and flow of his fortunes. She saw him leave the house with his overcoat and return without it, though the day was chill and raw, and promptly she saw his cheeks fill out slightly and the fire of hunger leave his eyes. In the same way she had seen his wheel and watch go, and after each event she had seen his vigor bloom again.




Likewise she watched his toils, and knew the measure of the midnight oil he burned. Work! She knew that he outdid her, though his work was of a different order. And she was surprised to behold that the less food he had, the harder he worked. On occasion, in a casual sort of way, when she thought hunger pinched hardest, she would send him in a loaf of new baking, awkwardly covering the act with banter to the effect that it was better than he could bake. And again, she would send one of her toddlers in to him with a great pitcher of hot soup, debating inwardly the while whether she was justified in taking it from the mouths of her own flesh and blood. Nor was Martin ungrateful, knowing as he did the lives of the poor, and that if ever in the world there was charity, this was it.




On a day when she had filled her brood with what was left in the house, Maria invested her last fifteen cents in a gallon of cheap wine. Martin, coming into her kitchen to fetch water, was invited to sit down and drink. He drank her very-good health, and in return she drank his. Then she drank to prosperity in his undertakings, and he drank to the hope that James Grant would show up and pay her for his washing. James Grant was a journeymen carpenter who did not always pay his bills and who owed Maria three dollars.




Both Maria and Martin drank the sour new wine on empty stomachs, and it went swiftly to their heads. Utterly differentiated creatures that they were, they were lonely in their misery, and though the misery was tacitly ignored, it was the bond that drew them together. Maria was amazed to learn that he had been in the Azores, where she had lived until she was eleven. She was doubly amazed that he had been in the Hawaiian Islands, whither she had migrated from the Azores with her people. But her amazement passed all bounds when he told her he had been on Maui, the particular island whereon she had attained womanhood and married. Kahului, where she had first met her husband, - he, Martin, had been there twice! Yes, she remembered the sugar steamers, and he had been on them - well, well, it was a small world. And Wailuku! That place, too! Did he know the head-luna of the plantation? Yes, and had had a couple of drinks with him.




And so they reminiscenced and drowned their hunger in the raw, sour wine. To Martin the future did not seem so dim. Success trembled just before him. He was on the verge of clasping it. Then he studied the deep-lined face of the toil-worn woman before him, remembered her soups and loaves of new baking, and felt spring up in him the warmest gratitude and philanthropy.




"Maria," he exclaimed suddenly. "What would you like to have?"




She looked at him, bepuzzled.




"What would you like to have now, right now, if you could get it?"




"Shoe alla da roun' for da childs - seven pairs da shoe."




"You shall have them," he announced, while she nodded her head gravely. "But I mean a big wish, something big that you want."




Her eyes sparkled good-naturedly. He was choosing to make fun with her, Maria, with whom few made fun these days.




"Think hard," he cautioned, just as she was opening her mouth to speak.




"Alla right," she answered. "I thinka da hard. I lika da house, dis house - all mine, no paya da rent, seven dollar da month."




"You shall have it," he granted, "and in a short time. Now wish the great wish. Make believe I am God, and I say to you anything you want you can have. Then you wish that thing, and I listen."




Maria considered solemnly for a space.




"You no 'fraid?" she asked warningly.




"No, no," he laughed, "I'm not afraid. Go ahead."




"Most verra big," she warned again.




"All right. Fire away."




"Well, den - " She drew a big breath like a child, as she voiced to the uttermost all she cared to demand of life. "I lika da have one milka ranch - good milka ranch. Plenty cow, plenty land, plenty grass. I lika da have near San Le-an; my sister liva dere. I sella da milk in Oakland. I maka da plentee mon. Joe an' Nick no runna da cow. Dey go-a to school. Bimeby maka da good engineer, worka da railroad. Yes, I lika da milka ranch."




She paused and regarded Martin with twinkling eyes.




"You shall have it," he answered promptly.




She nodded her head and touched her lips courteously to the wine- glass and to the giver of the gift she knew would never be given. His heart was right, and in her own heart she appreciated his intention as much as if the gift had gone with it.




"No, Maria," he went on; "Nick and Joe won't have to peddle milk, and all the kids can go to school and wear shoes the whole year round. It will be a first-class milk ranch - everything complete. There will be a house to live in and a stable for the horses, and cow-barns, of course. There will be chickens, pigs, vegetables, fruit trees, and everything like that; and there will be enough cows to pay for a hired man or two. Then you won't have anything to do but take care of the children. For that matter, if you find a good man, you can marry and take it easy while he runs the ranch."




And from such largess, dispensed from his future, Martin turned and took his one good suit of clothes to the pawnshop. His plight was desperate for him to do this, for it cut him off from Ruth. He had no second-best suit that was presentable, and though he could go to the butcher and the baker, and even on occasion to his sister's, it was beyond all daring to dream of entering the Morse home so disreputably apparelled.




He toiled on, miserable and well-nigh hopeless. It began to appear to him that the second battle was lost and that he would have to go to work. In doing this he would satisfy everybody - the grocer, his sister, Ruth, and even Maria, to whom he owed a month's room rent. He was two months behind with his type-writer, and the agency was clamoring for payment or for the return of the machine. In desperation, all but ready to surrender, to make a truce with fate until he could get a fresh start, he took the civil service examinations for the Railway Mail. To his surprise, he passed first. The job was assured, though when the call would come to enter upon his duties nobody knew.




It was at this time, at the lowest ebb, that the smooth-running editorial machine broke down. A cog must have slipped or an oil- cup run dry, for the postman brought him one morning a short, thin envelope. Martin glanced at the upper left-hand corner and read the name and address of the TRANSCONTINENTAL MONTHLY. His heart gave a great leap, and he suddenly felt faint, the sinking feeling accompanied by a strange trembling of the knees. He staggered into his room and sat down on the bed, the envelope still unopened, and in that moment came understanding to him how people suddenly fall dead upon receipt of extraordinarily good news.




Of course this was good news. There was no manuscript in that thin envelope, therefore it was an acceptance. He knew the story in the hands of the TRANSCONTINENTAL. It was "The Ring of Bells," one of his horror stories, and it was an even five thousand words. And, since first-class magazines always paid on acceptance, there was a check inside. Two cents a word - twenty dollars a thousand; the check must be a hundred dollars. One hundred dollars! As he tore the envelope open, every item of all his debts surged in his brain - $3.85 to the grocer; butcher $4.00 flat; baker, $2.00; fruit store, $5.00; total, $14.85. Then there was room rent, $2.50; another month in advance, $2.50; two months' type-writer, $8.00; a month in advance, $4.00; total, $31.85. And finally to be added, his pledges, plus interest, with the pawnbroker - watch, $5.50; overcoat, $5.50; wheel, $7.75; suit of clothes, $5.50 (60 % interest, but what did it matter?) - grand total, $56.10. He saw, as if visible in the air before him, in illuminated figures, the whole sum, and the subtraction that followed and that gave a remainder of $43.90. When he had squared every debt, redeemed every pledge, he would still have jingling in his pockets a princely $43.90. And on top of that he would have a month's rent paid in advance on the type-writer and on the room.




By this time he had drawn the single sheet of type-written letter out and spread it open. There was no check. He peered into the envelope, held it to the light, but could not trust his eyes, and in trembling haste tore the envelope apart. There was no check. He read the letter, skimming it line by line, dashing through the editor's praise of his story to the meat of the letter, the statement why the check had not been sent. He found no such statement, but he did find that which made him suddenly wilt. The letter slid from his hand. His eyes went lack-lustre, and he lay back on the pillow, pulling the blanket about him and up to his chin.




Five dollars for "The Ring of Bells" - five dollars for five thousand words! Instead of two cents a word, ten words for a cent! And the editor had praised it, too. And he would receive the check when the story was published. Then it was all poppycock, two cents a word for minimum rate and payment upon acceptance. It was a lie, and it had led him astray. He would never have attempted to write had he known that. He would have gone to work - to work for Ruth. He went back to the day he first attempted to write, and was appalled at the enormous waste of time - and all for ten words for a cent. And the other high rewards of writers, that he had read about, must be lies, too. His second-hand ideas of authorship were wrong, for here was the proof of it.




The TRANSCONTINENTAL sold for twenty-five cents, and its dignified and artistic cover proclaimed it as among the first-class magazines. It was a staid, respectable magazine, and it had been published continuously since long before he was born. Why, on the outside cover were printed every month the words of one of the world's great writers, words proclaiming the inspired mission of the TRANSCONTINENTAL by a star of literature whose first coruscations had appeared inside those self-same covers. And the high and lofty, heaven-inspired TRANSCONTINENTAL paid five dollars for five thousand words! The great writer had recently died in a foreign land - in dire poverty, Martin remembered, which was not to be wondered at, considering the magnificent pay authors receive.




Well, he had taken the bait, the newspaper lies about writers and their pay, and he had wasted two years over it. But he would disgorge the bait now. Not another line would he ever write. He would do what Ruth wanted him to do, what everybody wanted him to do - get a job. The thought of going to work reminded him of Joe - Joe, tramping through the land of nothing-to-do. Martin heaved a great sigh of envy. The reaction of nineteen hours a day for many days was strong upon him. But then, Joe was not in love, had none of the responsibilities of love, and he could afford to loaf through the land of nothing-to-do. He, Martin, had something to work for, and go to work he would. He would start out early next morning to hunt a job. And he would let Ruth know, too, that he had mended his ways and was willing to go into her father's office.




Five dollars for five thousand words, ten words for a cent, the market price for art. The disappointment of it, the lie of it, the infamy of it, were uppermost in his thoughts; and under his closed eyelids, in fiery figures, burned the "$3.85" he owed the grocer. He shivered, and was aware of an aching in his bones. The small of his back ached especially. His head ached, the top of it ached, the back of it ached, the brains inside of it ached and seemed to be swelling, while the ache over his brows was intolerable. And beneath the brows, planted under his lids, was the merciless "$3.85." He opened his eyes to escape it, but the white light of the room seemed to sear the balls and forced him to close his eyes, when the "$3.85" confronted him again.




Five dollars for five thousand words, ten words for a cent - that particular thought took up its residence in his brain, and he could no more escape it than he could the "$3.85" under his eyelids. A change seemed to come over the latter, and he watched curiously, till "$2.00" burned in its stead. Ah, he thought, that was the baker. The next sum that appeared was "$2.50." It puzzled him, and he pondered it as if life and death hung on the solution. He owed somebody two dollars and a half, that was certain, but who was it? To find it was the task set him by an imperious and malignant universe, and he wandered through the endless corridors of his mind, opening all manner of lumber rooms and chambers stored with odds and ends of memories and knowledge as he vainly sought the answer. After several centuries it came to him, easily, without effort, that it was Maria. With a great relief he turned his soul to the screen of torment under his lids. He had solved the problem; now he could rest. But no, the "$2.50" faded away, and in its place burned "$8.00." Who was that? He must go the dreary round of his mind again and find out.




How long he was gone on this quest he did not know, but after what seemed an enormous lapse of time, he was called back to himself by a knock at the door, and by Maria's asking if he was sick. He replied in a muffled voice he did not recognize, saying that he was merely taking a nap. He was surprised when he noted the darkness of night in the room. He had received the letter at two in the afternoon, and he realized that he was sick.




Then the "$8.00" began to smoulder under his lids again, and he returned himself to servitude. But he grew cunning. There was no need for him to wander through his mind. He had been a fool. He pulled a lever and made his mind revolve about him, a monstrous wheel of fortune, a merry-go-round of memory, a revolving sphere of wisdom. Faster and faster it revolved, until its vortex sucked him in and he was flung whirling through black chaos.




Quite naturally he found himself at a mangle, feeding starched cuffs. But as he fed he noticed figures printed in the cuffs. It was a new way of marking linen, he thought, until, looking closer, he saw "$3.85" on one of the cuffs. Then it came to him that it was the grocer's bill, and that these were his bills flying around on the drum of the mangle. A crafty idea came to him. He would throw the bills on the floor and so escape paying them. No sooner thought than done, and he crumpled the cuffs spitefully as he flung them upon an unusually dirty floor. Ever the heap grew, and though each bill was duplicated a thousand times, he found only one for two dollars and a half, which was what he owed Maria. That meant that Maria would not press for payment, and he resolved generously that it would be the only one he would pay; so he began searching through the cast-out heap for hers. He sought it desperately, for ages, and was still searching when the manager of the hotel entered, the fat Dutchman. His face blazed with wrath, and he shouted in stentorian tones that echoed down the universe, "I shall deduct the cost of those cuffs from your wages!" The pile of cuffs grew into a mountain, and Martin knew that he was doomed to toil for a thousand years to pay for them. Well, there was nothing left to do but kill the manager and burn down the laundry. But the big Dutchman frustrated him, seizing him by the nape of the neck and dancing him up and down. He danced him over the ironing tables, the stove, and the mangles, and out into the wash-room and over the wringer and washer. Martin was danced until his teeth rattled and his head ached, and he marvelled that the Dutchman was so strong.




And then he found himself before the mangle, this time receiving the cuffs an editor of a magazine was feeding from the other side. Each cuff was a check, and Martin went over them anxiously, in a fever of expectation, but they were all blanks. He stood there and received the blanks for a million years or so, never letting one go by for fear it might be filled out. At last he found it. With trembling fingers he held it to the light. It was for five dollars. "Ha! Ha!" laughed the editor across the mangle. "Well, then, I shall kill you," Martin said. He went out into the wash- room to get the axe, and found Joe starching manuscripts. He tried to make him desist, then swung the axe for him. But the weapon remained poised in mid-air, for Martin found himself back in the ironing room in the midst of a snow-storm. No, it was not snow that was falling, but checks of large denomination, the smallest not less than a thousand dollars. He began to collect them and sort them out, in packages of a hundred, tying each package securely with twine.




He looked up from his task and saw Joe standing before him juggling flat-irons, starched shirts, and manuscripts. Now and again he reached out and added a bundle of checks to the flying miscellany that soared through the roof and out of sight in a tremendous circle. Martin struck at him, but he seized the axe and added it to the flying circle. Then he plucked Martin and added him. Martin went up through the roof, clutching at manuscripts, so that by the time he came down he had a large armful. But no sooner down than up again, and a second and a third time and countless times he flew around the circle. From far off he could hear a childish treble singing: "Waltz me around again, Willie, around, around, around."




He recovered the axe in the midst of the Milky Way of checks, starched shirts, and manuscripts, and prepared, when he came down, to kill Joe. But he did not come down. Instead, at two in the morning, Maria, having heard his groans through the thin partition, came into his room, to put hot flat-irons against his body and damp cloths upon his aching eyes.
玛利亚·西尔伐很穷。她理解贫穷生活的种种艰辛。可对露丝说来贫穷只是不舒适的生活环境而且。她对贫穷的全部知识不过如此。她知道马丁穷,却把他的环境限亚伯拉罕·林肯、巴特勒先生和其他发了迹的人物的童年等量齐观。而且,她一方面意识到贫穷绝不轻松,一方面又有一种中产阶级泰然处之的感觉:认为贫穷是福。它对一切不肯堕落的人、不肯绝望的苦力都是一种强烈的激励,能促使他们去取得胜利。因此在她听说马丁穷得当掉了手表和外衣时,并不难受,甚至认为有了希望,它早晚会催他奋起,放弃写作的。

露丝从没有在马丁脸上读出饥饿。实际上她在见到他面颊消瘦、凹陷加深的时候反而感到满意。他好像变得清秀了。他脸上以前叫她嫌恶却也吸引过她的肌肉和带暴戾意味的活力大大减少了。他俩在一起时她还会偶然注意到他眼里闪出的不寻常的光,那也叫她崇拜,因为他更像个诗人或学者了——而那正是他想做而她也乐意他做的人。但是玛利亚·西尔伐从他那凹陷的双颊和燃烧的目光中读出的却是另外一种消息。她看到他每天的变化,并从中看出他命运的消涨。她看到他穿了外衣离家却没穿外衣回来,尽管天气又冷又阴沉。然后她便看到他的面颊略为丰满了一点,饥饿之火也离开了他的眼睛。同样,她又看到他的手表和自行车消失了,而每一次有东西消失,他都会洋溢出些活力。

她同样注意到了他的刻苦。她知道他晚上要熬夜到什么时候。那是在工作!她知道他比她还要辛苦,虽然他的工作是另一种性质。她还注意到他吃得越是少干得越是多。有时见他饿得厉害,她也仿佛偶然地给他送一大块刚出炉的面包去,并开玩笑说她烤的面包要比他做的好吃,作为一种拙劣的掩饰。有时她也叫她的小娃娃给他送一大罐热气腾腾的菜汤去,虽然心率也前咕着像这样从自己的亲骨肉口中夺食是否应该。马丁也并非不感谢,他明白穷人的苦,也知道世界上若有慈悲心肠,这就是慈悲心肠。

有一天她在用屋里剩下的东西喂饱了那群孩子之后,拿她最后的一毛五分钱买了一加仑便宜啤酒。正好马丁到她厨房取水,她便邀他坐下一起喝。他为她的健康于杯,她也为他的健康于杯,然后她又祝福地事业兴旺,而他则祝福她找到詹姆士·格兰特,收到地欠下的洗衣费。詹姆士·格兰特是个常常欠债的流浪木匠,欠着玛利亚三块钱没给。

玛利亚和马丁都是空肚子喝着新酿的酒,酒力立即进了脑袋。他们俩虽是完全不同的人,在痛苦中却同样孤独。尽管不声不响,没有当回事,孤独却成了联系他俩的纽带。玛利亚听说他到过亚速尔群岛大吃了一惊:她是在那儿长到十一岁的。她听说他到过夏威夷群岛时更是加倍吃惊了:她跟她一家人就是从亚速尔群岛迁到夏威夷群岛去的呢。而到他告诉她他曾去过毛伊岛时,她简直就惊讶得无以复加了。毛伊岛可是她长大成人遇见她丈夫井和他结婚的地方。而马丁意去过两次!是的,她还记得运糖的船,而他就在那上面干过活——哎呀,这世界可真小。还有瓦伊路库!他认识种植园的总管么?认识,还跟他喝过两杯呢。

他们俩就像这样怀着旧,用酸味的新啤酒淹没着饥饿。未来在马丁面前并不太暗淡。成功在他眼前颤抖,他差不多要抓住了。他审视着面前这个备受折磨的妇女郎满是皱纹的脸,想起了她的菜汤和新出炉的面包,一种最为温暖的感激和悲悯之情便在他心里油然而生。

“玛利亚,”他突然叫了起来,“你想要个什么东西?”

玛利亚莫名其妙地望着他。

“现在你想要个什么东西,现在,如果你能得到的话?”

“给孩子们每人一双鞋——七双。”

“我给你七双鞋,”他宣布,她郑重其事地点点头,“可我指的是大的愿望,你想要什么大东西。”

她的眼睛随和地闪着光。原来他是在跟她玛利亚开玩笑呀,现在已经很少人跟她开玩笑了。

“好好想想,”她正张开嘴要说话,他提醒她。

“那好,”她回答,“我好好想想,我想要房于,就是这房子吧。整幢都归我.不用付每月七块钱房租。”

“房子你准会有的,”他同意了,“不久就会有。现在要个大的吧。假定我是上帝,已经告诉你你想要什么便能得到什么。你就要那种东西吧,我听着。”

玛利亚郑重其事地想了一会儿。

“你不怕?”她警告他。

“不怕,不怕,”他笑了,“我不怕。说吧。”

“可大得了不得呢,”她又警告说。

“没问题。尽管讲。”

“那么——”她像个孩子一样吸了一口长气,鼓足了劲,提出了她对生活的最大愿望。“我想有个奶牛场——一个最好的奶牛场。有许多的牛,许多的土地,许多的草。我喜欢它靠近圣利安;我妹妹就住在那儿。我可以到奥克兰去卖牛奶,赚许多钱。乔和尼克不用放牛,可以去上学,以后当个好工程师,在铁路上工作。对。我想要个奶牛场。”

她住了口,眼里闪着光,望着马丁。

“你会有的。”他立即回答。

她点点头,恭恭敬敬用嘴唇碰了碰杯子,向送她礼物的人示意——虽然她知道那礼物她是永远也得不到的。他的心是好的,她打心眼里欣赏这番好意,仿佛礼物已随着许诺送到她手里。

“是的,玛利亚,”他继续说,“尼克和乔不用去卖牛奶了,孩子们全都上学,一年四季都有鞋穿。一个头等奶场——设备齐全。一幢房子住人,一个马厩喂马,当然还有奶牛场。有鸡,有猪,有菜,有果树,诸如此类。牛还要多,能养得起一两个雇工。那时候你就甭管别的,一心一意带孩子。说起来,你若是能找到一个合适的人,还可以结婚,让他管奶场,你自己过轻松日子。”

马丁赠送了这份将来才能兑现的礼物之后,转身便把他仅有的一套漂亮衣服送进了当铺。他这样做是出于无奈,因为处境太糟。而当掉了衣服他和露丝就不能见面了。他再也没有第二套漂亮衣服能够见客——尽管见卖肉的和烤面包的还可以,有时还可以去见他姐姐。但要叫他穿得那么寒酸踏进莫尔斯的住宅,他却是连梦也不敢做的。

他继续刻苦地干着,很难受,差不多已没了希望。他开始感到第二次战役也失败了,他已非去工作不可。他一去工作各方面都会满意的——杂货店老板,他姐姐,露丝,甚至玛利亚都会满意。他已经久了玛利亚一个月房租;打字机租金也欠了两个月,代理人已经叫喊若是再不付租金就得收回打字机。他已经穷途末路,差不多要投降了。他打算暂时跟命运休战,直到有新机会的时候。他去参加了铁道邮务署的文职人员考试。令他意外的是,竟然以第一名被录取了。工作是有把握了,尽管什么时候能通知他上班还没有人知道。

就在这个时候,在他山穷水尽的时候,那油滑运转的编辑机器偏偏出了故障。大概是一个齿轮打了滑,或是油杯没了油吧,总之有天早上邮递员给他送来了一个薄薄的短信封。马丁瞒了一眼左角,读到了《跨越大陆月刊》的名字和地址,他的心便猛地跳了一下。他突然感到一阵晕旋,双膝发起抖来,身子也往下沉。他歪歪倒倒进了屋子,在床上坐了下来。信还没有拆开,在那个瞬间他明白了一个道理:为什么有的人会因为突然得到不寻常的好消息而死去。

这当然是好消息,薄薄的信封里没有稿子,因此便是采用通知。他知道寄给《跨越大陆》的是什么故事,那是《钟声激越》,一篇恐怖小说,足足有五千字。既然第一流杂志都是一采用稿件便付稿酬的,里面便应该是支票。一个字两分钱——一千字二十元:支票一定是一百元!一百元!他撕开信封时,脑子里便门出了他所欠的每一笔帐——杂货店老板$3.85;肉店老板$4.00;面包店老板$2.00;水果店老板$5.00;总共$14.85。然后是房租$2.5O;再预付一个月$2.50;两个月打字机租金$8.00;预付一个月$4.OO;总共$31.85。最后是赎取典当的东西,加上当铺老板的利息:表$5.50;外衣$5.50;自行车$7.75;衣服$5.50(利息60%,那算得什么?)——几笔帐总计$56.10。他仿佛在他面前的空中看到了闪着光的数字:先是那个整数,然后是减去开支算出的余数,是$43.90。还清了帐目,赎回了东西,他口袋还会叮叮当当响着一笔阔绰的数字$43.90,而且已经预付了一个月房租和一个月打字机租金。

这时他已抽出那张用打字机打出的信,展开了。没有支票,他往信封里瞄了瞄,又把那信对着光线看了看。他不能相信他的眼睛。他颤抖着急忙撕开了信封:没有支票。他一行行地匆匆读去,掠过了编辑对他作品的赞美之词,要想找到主题:何以没有进支票,却没有找到。他终于找到了,可他却突然垮了。信从他手上落下,他的两眼失去了光泽。他躺回到枕头上,拉过毯子盖住身体,直盖到下巴。

《钟声激越》的稿费是五块钱——五块钱五千字!不是两分钱一个字,而是一分钱十个字!而编辑还赞美写得好。而且支票要到作品发表之后才能收到。原来这一切都是胡扯:什么最低稿费两分钱一个字呀,稿件一采用就付稿酬呀,统统是假话,骗得他上了当。他要是早知道是决不会作写作的打算的。他老早就会去工作了——为露丝去工作了。他回想起自己刚开始打算写作的时候,不禁为自己所浪费的那么多时间痛心疾首。最终落了个一分钱十个字!他所读到的关于别的作家的高稿酬的事看来也准是假话。他关于写作的第二手资料是错误的,这里便是证据。

《跨越大陆》每份定价二毛五。它那庄重高雅的封面表明它属于第一流杂志,是份郑重的值得尊敬的杂志。它在他出生之前就已经连续出版了多少年。你看,在每一期封面上都印有一个世界驰名的伟大作家的话,宣布了《跨越大陆》的天赋使命,而那位文坛巨星最初就是在这个杂志的篇幅里绽放异彩的。可是这份崇高、风雅。从上天获得灵感的杂志鹏越大陆》所付出的稿酬竟然是五块钱五千字!而那伟大的作家最近也在国外穷愁潦倒地死去了。此事马丁记得,也不以为奇,试看作家那堂皇的稿酬就明白了。

唉,他上了别人的钩了。报纸上关于作家和稿酬的瞎话使他浪费了两年时光。现在他要把嘴里的钩吐出来。他是一行也不会再写作的了。他要按露丝的要求去做——那也是每个人的要求——找一份工作。一想到工作他便想到乔——那个在游手好闲的天地里漂泊的乔。马丁长长地叹了一口气,心里很羡慕。那是每天十九小时连续多少日子的劳动对乔所产生的激烈后果。但是乔没有恋爱,没有爱情的责任,他可以在游手好闲的天地里漂泊。而他马丁却有奋斗的目标。他要去工作。明天一大早他就要去找工作,他还要让露丝知道他已经幡然悔悟,愿意进入她爸爸的办公室了。

五千字五块钱,十个字一分钱,这就是艺术在市场上的价格。那失望,那虚假,那无耻总浮动在他思想里。在他合拢的眼帘下燃烧着他欠杂货店的$3.85,是几个火一样的数字。他发起抖来,骨头里感到疼痛。腰尤其痛。头也在痛,头顶也在痛,后脑勺也在痛,脑袋里脑髓也在痛,而且似乎在膨胀,而前额则痛得无法忍受。额头下、眼皮里总是那个无情的数字:$3.85。他张开眼想躲避,屋里白亮的光似乎烧灼着眼球,逼得他闭上了眼。可一闭上眼那数字$3.85又逼到了他面前。

五千字五块钱,十个字一分钱——那特别的念头在他的脑子里扎下根来,再也摆脱不了,跟摆脱不了眼帘下那个$3.85一样。那数字似乎有了变化,他好奇地望了望,在那儿燃烧的已是$2.00了。啊,他想起来了,那是面包店的帐.接下来出现的数字是$2.5那.那数字叫他迷惑,他使劲地想,仿佛是个生死攸关的问题。他欠了别人两块五,肯定没错,可欠了谁的呢?这已是那威严的、恶意的宇宙给他的任务。他在他心灵的无尽的走廊里信步走着,打开了各式各样堆满破烂的房屋,其中满是七零八碎的知识和记忆,寻求着答案,却无结果。过了好多个世纪,那答案出来了,却并不费力,原来是玛利亚。他这才如释重负,让灵魂转到眼皮底下的痛苦的屏幕前。问题解决了;他现在可以休息了。可是不,那$2.50又淡了开去,出现了一个$8.00。那又是谁的帐呢?他还得在心灵的凄凉的路上重新走一遍,把它找出来。

他不知道自己找了多久,只是似乎在很久很久之后被敲门声惊醒了。玛利亚在问他是不是病了。他含含糊糊地说他山不清楚,他只是睡了个午觉。等他注意到屋里已经黑了下来,才吃了一惊。他接信时是下午两点。他明白自己病了。

然后$8.00又在他的眼帘下微微燃烧,他又被迫回去寻找。但是他狡猾起来了。他刚才太傻,他其实不必要在心灵里去转悠。他拉动一根杠杆,让心灵绕着自己转了起来。那是一个硕大无朋的命运之轮,一个记忆的旋转木马,一个智慧的滚动圆球。他越转越快,卷进了旋涡,被急旋着扔进了一片漆黑的混饨。

他飘飘然发现自己已在一个热轧滚筒旁,正在往滚筒里喂袖口。喂看喂着发现袖口上印着数字。他以为那是给衣服做记号的新办法,可仔细一看,却在一个袖口上认出了$3.85。这才想起那是杂货店的发票。见他的发票都在热轧滚筒上飞速地旋转,他产生了一个巧妙的念头:把发票全扔到地板上,便可以逃避计帐。刚这么一想地便干了起来。他把袖口轻蔑地揉成一团团,扔到极其肮脏的地位上。袖口越堆越高,虽然每一张发票都变成了一千份,他却只看到他欠玛利亚的那张。那就是说玛利亚无法催他还债了。于是他慷慨决定只还玛利亚的债。他到扔出的大堆袖日里去寻找玛利亚的发票。他拼命地找呀找呀,找了不知多少年,正在找时那荷兰胜经理送来了,脸上气得发出白炽的光,大喊大叫,叫得惊天动地。“我要从你们的工资里扣掉袖口钱!”这时袖口已经堆成了一座山。马丁明白他已注定要做一千年苦工才能还完债了。完了,没有办法了,只有杀了经理,放把火烧掉洗衣间。但是那肥胖的荷兰人却打败了他。那荷兰人一把抓住了他的脖颈,把他上上下下地晃动起来,让他在熨衣台上晃,在炉子上晃,在热轧滚筒上晃,晃到外面的洗衣间里,晃到绞干机和洗衣机上。直晃得他牙齿答答地响,脑袋生疼。他没想到那荷兰胖子竟有这么大的力气。

然后他发现自己来到了热轧滚筒面前。这一回是在接袖口,一个杂志编辑在另一面喂。每一张袖口都是一张支票,马丁怀着急切的希望检查着。可全是空白支票。他站在那儿收着空白支票,大约收了一百万年,一张也不让错过,怕漏掉签了字的。他终于找到了。他用颤抖的手指拿起那支票对着光。是五块钱的支票。“哈!哈!”编辑隔着热轧滚筒大笑起来。“哼,我要杀了你,”马丁叫道。他走了出去,到洗衣房去取斧头,却看见乔在给手稿上浆。他想叫他住手,挥起斧头向地砍去。可是那武器却在半空中停住动不了了,因为马丁已发现自己在一场暴风雪中回到了熨烫车间。不,那飘落的不是雪花,而是大额支票。最小的也不少于一千元。他开始收集支票整理起来,把一百张合成一扎,一扎扎用绳捆牢。

他捆着捆着抬头一看,看见乔站在他面前像玩杂技一样抛掷着熨今。上了浆的衬衫、和稿子,还不时伸手加一扎支票到飞旋的行列中去。那些东西穿出房顶,飞成一个极大的圆圈消失了。马丁向乔一斧砍去,却叫他夺走了斧头,也扔进了飞旋的行列。他又抓住马丁也扔了上去。马丁穿出房顶去抓稿件,落下时手里已拖了一大抱。可他刚一落下又飞了起来,然后便一次二次无数次地随着圆圈飞旋。他听见一个尖细的重声在歌唱:“带我跳华尔兹吧,威利,一圈一圈又一圈地跳呀。”

他在支票、熨好的衬衫和稿件的银河里找到了斧头,打算下去杀掉乔。可是他并没有下去。倒是玛利亚在凌晨两点隔着板壁听见了他的呻吟,走进了他的房间,用热熨斗在他身上做起了热敷,又用湿布贴在了他疼痛的眼睛上。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

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等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  26


Martin Eden did not go out to hunt for a job in the morning. It was late afternoon before he came out of his delirium and gazed with aching eyes about the room. Mary, one of the tribe of Silva, eight years old, keeping watch, raised a screech at sight of his returning consciousness. Maria hurried into the room from the kitchen. She put her work-calloused hand upon his hot forehead and felt his pulse.




"You lika da eat?" she asked.




He shook his head. Eating was farthest from his desire, and he wondered that he should ever have been hungry in his life.




"I'm sick, Maria," he said weakly. "What is it? Do you know?"




"Grip," she answered. "Two or three days you alla da right. Better you no eat now. Bimeby plenty can eat, to-morrow can eat maybe."




Martin was not used to sickness, and when Maria and her little girl left him, he essayed to get up and dress. By a supreme exertion of will, with rearing brain and eyes that ached so that he could not keep them open, he managed to get out of bed, only to be left stranded by his senses upon the table. Half an hour later he managed to regain the bed, where he was content to lie with closed eyes and analyze his various pains and weaknesses. Maria came in several times to change the cold cloths on his forehead. Otherwise she left him in peace, too wise to vex him with chatter. This moved him to gratitude, and he murmured to himself, "Maria, you getta da milka ranch, all righta, all right."




Then he remembered his long-buried past of yesterday.




It seemed a life-time since he had received that letter from the TRANSCONTINENTAL, a life-time since it was all over and done with and a new page turned. He had shot his bolt, and shot it hard, and now he was down on his back. If he hadn't starved himself, he wouldn't have been caught by La Grippe. He had been run down, and he had not had the strength to throw off the germ of disease which had invaded his system. This was what resulted.




"What does it profit a man to write a whole library and lose his own life?" he demanded aloud. "This is no place for me. No more literature in mine. Me for the counting-house and ledger, the monthly salary, and the little home with Ruth."




Two days later, having eaten an egg and two slices of toast and drunk a cup of tea, he asked for his mail, but found his eyes still hurt too much to permit him to read.




"You read for me, Maria," he said. "Never mind the big, long letters. Throw them under the table. Read me the small letters."




"No can," was the answer. "Teresa, she go to school, she can."




So Teresa Silva, aged nine, opened his letters and read them to him. He listened absently to a long dun from the type-writer people, his mind busy with ways and means of finding a job. Suddenly he was shocked back to himself.




"'We offer you forty dollars for all serial rights in your story,'" Teresa slowly spelled out, "'provided you allow us to make the alterations suggested.'"




"What magazine is that?" Martin shouted. "Here, give it to me!"




He could see to read, now, and he was unaware of the pain of the action. It was the WHITE MOUSE that was offering him forty dollars, and the story was "The Whirlpool," another of his early horror stories. He read the letter through again and again. The editor told him plainly that he had not handled the idea properly, but that it was the idea they were buying because it was original. If they could cut the story down one-third, they would take it and send him forty dollars on receipt of his answer.




He called for pen and ink, and told the editor he could cut the story down three-thirds if he wanted to, and to send the forty dollars right along.




The letter despatched to the letter-box by Teresa, Martin lay back and thought. It wasn't a lie, after all. The WHITE MOUSE paid on acceptance. There were three thousand words in "The Whirlpool." Cut down a third, there would be two thousand. At forty dollars that would be two cents a word. Pay on acceptance and two cents a word - the newspapers had told the truth. And he had thought the WHITE MOUSE a third-rater! It was evident that he did not know the magazines. He had deemed the TRANSCONTINENTAL a first-rater, and it paid a cent for ten words. He had classed the WHITE MOUSE as of no account, and it paid twenty times as much as the TRANSCONTINENTAL and also had paid on acceptance.




Well, there was one thing certain: when he got well, he would not go out looking for a job. There were more stories in his head as good as "The Whirlpool," and at forty dollars apiece he could earn far more than in any job or position. Just when he thought the battle lost, it was won. He had proved for his career. The way was clear. Beginning with the WHITE MOUSE he would add magazine after magazine to his growing list of patrons. Hack-work could be put aside. For that matter, it had been wasted time, for it had not brought him a dollar. He would devote himself to work, good work, and he would pour out the best that was in him. He wished Ruth was there to share in his joy, and when he went over the letters left lying on his bed, he found one from her. It was sweetly reproachful, wondering what had kept him away for so dreadful a length of time. He reread the letter adoringly, dwelling over her handwriting, loving each stroke of her pen, and in the end kissing her signature.




And when he answered, he told her recklessly that he had not been to see her because his best clothes were in pawn. He told her that he had been sick, but was once more nearly well, and that inside ten days or two weeks (as soon as a letter could travel to New York City and return) he would redeem his clothes and be with her.




But Ruth did not care to wait ten days or two weeks. Besides, her lover was sick. The next afternoon, accompanied by Arthur, she arrived in the Morse carriage, to the unqualified delight of the Silva tribe and of all the urchins on the street, and to the consternation of Maria. She boxed the ears of the Silvas who crowded about the visitors on the tiny front porch, and in more than usual atrocious English tried to apologize for her appearance. Sleeves rolled up from soap-flecked arms and a wet gunny-sack around her waist told of the task at which she had been caught. So flustered was she by two such grand young people asking for her lodger, that she forgot to invite them to sit down in the little parlor. To enter Martin's room, they passed through the kitchen, warm and moist and steamy from the big washing in progress. Maria, in her excitement, jammed the bedroom and bedroom-closet doors together, and for five minutes, through the partly open door, clouds of steam, smelling of soap-suds and dirt, poured into the sick chamber.




Ruth succeeded in veering right and left and right again, and in running the narrow passage between table and bed to Martin's side; but Arthur veered too wide and fetched up with clatter and bang of pots and pans in the corner where Martin did his cooking. Arthur did not linger long. Ruth occupied the only chair, and having done his duty, he went outside and stood by the gate, the centre of seven marvelling Silvas, who watched him as they would have watched a curiosity in a side-show. All about the carriage were gathered the children from a dozen blocks, waiting and eager for some tragic and terrible denouement. Carriages were seen on their street only for weddings and funerals. Here was neither marriage nor death: therefore, it was something transcending experience and well worth waiting for.




Martin had been wild to see Ruth. His was essentially a love- nature, and he possessed more than the average man's need for sympathy. He was starving for sympathy, which, with him, meant intelligent understanding; and he had yet to learn that Ruth's sympathy was largely sentimental and tactful, and that it proceeded from gentleness of nature rather than from understanding of the objects of her sympathy. So it was while Martin held her hand and gladly talked, that her love for him prompted her to press his hand in return, and that her eyes were moist and luminous at sight of his helplessness and of the marks suffering had stamped upon his face.




But while he told her of his two acceptances, of his despair when he received the one from the TRANSCONTINENTAL, and of the corresponding delight with which he received the one from the WHITE MOUSE, she did not follow him. She heard the words he uttered and understood their literal import, but she was not with him in his despair and his delight. She could not get out of herself. She was not interested in selling stories to magazines. What was important to her was matrimony. She was not aware of it, however, any more than she was aware that her desire that Martin take a position was the instinctive and preparative impulse of motherhood. She would have blushed had she been told as much in plain, set terms, and next, she might have grown indignant and asserted that her sole interest lay in the man she loved and her desire for him to make the best of himself. So, while Martin poured out his heart to her, elated with the first success his chosen work in the world had received, she paid heed to his bare words only, gazing now and again about the room, shocked by what she saw.




For the first time Ruth gazed upon the sordid face of poverty. Starving lovers had always seemed romantic to her, - but she had had no idea how starving lovers lived. She had never dreamed it could be like this. Ever her gaze shifted from the room to him and back again. The steamy smell of dirty clothes, which had entered with her from the kitchen, was sickening. Martin must be soaked with it, Ruth concluded, if that awful woman washed frequently. Such was the contagiousness of degradation. When she looked at Martin, she seemed to see the smirch left upon him by his surroundings. She had never seen him unshaven, and the three days' growth of beard on his face was repulsive to her. Not alone did it give him the same dark and murky aspect of the Silva house, inside and out, but it seemed to emphasize that animal-like strength of his which she detested. And here he was, being confirmed in his madness by the two acceptances he took such pride in telling her about. A little longer and he would have surrendered and gone to work. Now he would continue on in this horrible house, writing and starving for a few more months.




"What is that smell?" she asked suddenly.




"Some of Maria's washing smells, I imagine," was the answer. "I am growing quite accustomed to them."




"No, no; not that. It is something else. A stale, sickish smell."




Martin sampled the air before replying.




"I can't smell anything else, except stale tobacco smoke," he announced.




"That's it. It is terrible. Why do you smoke so much, Martin?"




"I don't know, except that I smoke more than usual when I am lonely. And then, too, it's such a long-standing habit. I learned when I was only a youngster."




"It is not a nice habit, you know," she reproved. "It smells to heaven."




"That's the fault of the tobacco. I can afford only the cheapest. But wait until I get that forty-dollar check. I'll use a brand that is not offensive even to the angels. But that wasn't so bad, was it, two acceptances in three days? That forty-five dollars will pay about all my debts."




"For two years' work?" she queried.




"No, for less than a week's work. Please pass me that book over on the far corner of the table, the account book with the gray cover." He opened it and began turning over the pages rapidly. "Yes, I was right. Four days for 'The Ring of Bells,' two days for 'The Whirlpool.' That's forty-five dollars for a week's work, one hundred and eighty dollars a month. That beats any salary I can command. And, besides, I'm just beginning. A thousand dollars a month is not too much to buy for you all I want you to have. A salary of five hundred a month would be too small. That forty-five dollars is just a starter. Wait till I get my stride. Then watch my smoke."




Ruth misunderstood his slang, and reverted to cigarettes.




"You smoke more than enough as it is, and the brand of tobacco will make no difference. It is the smoking itself that is not nice, no matter what the brand may be. You are a chimney, a living volcano, a perambulating smoke-stack, and you are a perfect disgrace, Martin dear, you know you are."




She leaned toward him, entreaty in her eyes, and as he looked at her delicate face and into her pure, limpid eyes, as of old he was struck with his own unworthiness.




"I wish you wouldn't smoke any more," she whispered. "Please, for - my sake."




"All right, I won't," he cried. "I'll do anything you ask, dear love, anything; you know that."




A great temptation assailed her. In an insistent way she had caught glimpses of the large, easy-going side of his nature, and she felt sure, if she asked him to cease attempting to write, that he would grant her wish. In the swift instant that elapsed, the words trembled on her lips. But she did not utter them. She was not quite brave enough; she did not quite dare. Instead, she leaned toward him to meet him, and in his arms murmured:-




"You know, it is really not for my sake, Martin, but for your own. I am sure smoking hurts you; and besides, it is not good to be a slave to anything, to a drug least of all."




"I shall always be your slave," he smiled.




"In which case, I shall begin issuing my commands."




She looked at him mischievously, though deep down she was already regretting that she had not preferred her largest request.




"I live but to obey, your majesty."




"Well, then, my first commandment is, Thou shalt not omit to shave every day. Look how you have scratched my cheek."




And so it ended in caresses and love-laughter. But she had made one point, and she could not expect to make more than one at a time. She felt a woman's pride in that she had made him stop smoking. Another time she would persuade him to take a position, for had he not said he would do anything she asked?




She left his side to explore the room, examining the clothes-lines of notes overhead, learning the mystery of the tackle used for suspending his wheel under the ceiling, and being saddened by the heap of manuscripts under the table which represented to her just so much wasted time. The oil-stove won her admiration, but on investigating the food shelves she found them empty.




"Why, you haven't anything to eat, you poor dear," she said with tender compassion. "You must be starving."




"I store my food in Maria's safe and in her pantry," he lied. "It keeps better there. No danger of my starving. Look at that."




She had come back to his side, and she saw him double his arm at the elbow, the biceps crawling under his shirt-sleeve and swelling into a knot of muscle, heavy and hard. The sight repelled her. Sentimentally, she disliked it. But her pulse, her blood, every fibre of her, loved it and yearned for it, and, in the old, inexplicable way, she leaned toward him, not away from him. And in the moment that followed, when he crushed her in his arms, the brain of her, concerned with the superficial aspects of life, was in revolt; while the heart of her, the woman of her, concerned with life itself, exulted triumphantly. It was in moments like this that she felt to the uttermost the greatness of her love for Martin, for it was almost a swoon of delight to her to feel his strong arms about her, holding her tightly, hurting her with the grip of their fervor. At such moments she found justification for her treason to her standards, for her violation of her own high ideals, and, most of all, for her tacit disobedience to her mother and father. They did not want her to marry this man. It shocked them that she should love him. It shocked her, too, sometimes, when she was apart from him, a cool and reasoning creature. With him, she loved him - in truth, at times a vexed and worried love; but love it was, a love that was stronger than she.




"This La Grippe is nothing," he was saying. "It hurts a bit, and gives one a nasty headache, but it doesn't compare with break-bone fever."




"Have you had that, too?" she queried absently, intent on the heaven-sent justification she was finding in his arms.




And so, with absent queries, she led him on, till suddenly his words startled her.




He had had the fever in a secret colony of thirty lepers on one of the Hawaiian Islands.




"But why did you go there?" she demanded.




Such royal carelessness of body seemed criminal.




"Because I didn't know," he answered. "I never dreamed of lepers. When I deserted the schooner and landed on the beach, I headed inland for some place of hiding. For three days I lived off guavas, OHIA-apples, and bananas, all of which grew wild in the jungle. On the fourth day I found the trail - a mere foot-trail. It led inland, and it led up. It was the way I wanted to go, and it showed signs of recent travel. At one place it ran along the crest of a ridge that was no more than a knife-edge. The trail wasn't three feet wide on the crest, and on either side the ridge fell away in precipices hundreds of feet deep. One man, with plenty of ammunition, could have held it against a hundred thousand.




"It was the only way in to the hiding-place. Three hours after I found the trail I was there, in a little mountain valley, a pocket in the midst of lava peaks. The whole place was terraced for taro- patches, fruit trees grew there, and there were eight or ten grass huts. But as soon as I saw the inhabitants I knew what I'd struck. One sight of them was enough."




"What did you do?" Ruth demanded breathlessly, listening, like any Desdemona, appalled and fascinated.




"Nothing for me to do. Their leader was a kind old fellow, pretty far gone, but he ruled like a king. He had discovered the little valley and founded the settlement - all of which was against the law. But he had guns, plenty of ammunition, and those Kanakas, trained to the shooting of wild cattle and wild pig, were dead shots. No, there wasn't any running away for Martin Eden. He stayed - for three months."




"But how did you escape?"




"I'd have been there yet, if it hadn't been for a girl there, a half-Chinese, quarter-white, and quarter-Hawaiian. She was a beauty, poor thing, and well educated. Her mother, in Honolulu, was worth a million or so. Well, this girl got me away at last. Her mother financed the settlement, you see, so the girl wasn't afraid of being punished for letting me go. But she made me swear, first, never to reveal the hiding-place; and I never have. This is the first time I have even mentioned it. The girl had just the first signs of leprosy. The fingers of her right hand were slightly twisted, and there was a small spot on her arm. That was all. I guess she is dead, now."




"But weren't you frightened? And weren't you glad to get away without catching that dreadful disease?"




"Well," he confessed, "I was a bit shivery at first; but I got used to it. I used to feel sorry for that poor girl, though. That made me forget to be afraid. She was such a beauty, in spirit as well as in appearance, and she was only slightly touched; yet she was doomed to lie there, living the life of a primitive savage and rotting slowly away. Leprosy is far more terrible than you can imagine it."




"Poor thing," Ruth murmured softly. "It's a wonder she let you get away."




"How do you mean?" Martin asked unwittingly.




"Because she must have loved you," Ruth said, still softly. "Candidly, now, didn't she?"




Martin's sunburn had been bleached by his work in the laundry and by the indoor life he was living, while the hunger and the sickness had made his face even pale; and across this pallor flowed the slow wave of a blush. He was opening his mouth to speak, but Ruth shut him off.




"Never mind, don't answer; it's not necessary," she laughed.




But it seemed to him there was something metallic in her laughter, and that the light in her eyes was cold. On the spur of the moment it reminded him of a gale he had once experienced in the North Pacific. And for the moment the apparition of the gale rose before his eyes - a gale at night, with a clear sky and under a full moon, the huge seas glinting coldly in the moonlight. Next, he saw the girl in the leper refuge and remembered it was for love of him that she had let him go.




"She was noble," he said simply. "She gave me life."




That was all of the incident, but he heard Ruth muffle a dry sob in her throat, and noticed that she turned her face away to gaze out of the window. When she turned it back to him, it was composed, and there was no hint of the gale in her eyes.




"I'm such a silly," she said plaintively. "But I can't help it. I do so love you, Martin, I do, I do. I shall grow more catholic in time, but at present I can't help being jealous of those ghosts of the past, and you know your past is full of ghosts."




"It must be," she silenced his protest. "It could not be otherwise. And there's poor Arthur motioning me to come. He's tired waiting. And now good-by, dear."




"There's some kind of a mixture, put up by the druggists, that helps men to stop the use of tobacco," she called back from the door, "and I am going to send you some."




The door closed, but opened again.




"I do, I do," she whispered to him; and this time she was really gone.




Maria, with worshipful eyes that none the less were keen to note the texture of Ruth's garments and the cut of them (a cut unknown that produced an effect mysteriously beautiful), saw her to the carriage. The crowd of disappointed urchins stared till the carriage disappeared from view, then transferred their stare to Maria, who had abruptly become the most important person on the street. But it was one of her progeny who blasted Maria's reputation by announcing that the grand visitors had been for her lodger. After that Maria dropped back into her old obscurity and Martin began to notice the respectful manner in which he was regarded by the small fry of the neighborhood. As for Maria, Martin rose in her estimation a full hundred per cent, and had the Portuguese grocer witnessed that afternoon carriage-call he would have allowed Martin an additional three-dollars-and-eighty-five- cents' worth of credit.
早上马丁·伊登没有出去找工作。等他从昏迷中醒来,用疼痛的眼睛望着屋子时已经是下半晌。西尔伐家一个八岁的孩子玛丽在守着他,一见他醒来便尖声大叫。玛利亚急忙从国房赶来,用她长满了老茧的手摸了摸地滚烫的前额,还把了把他的脉。

“想吃东西么?”她问。

他摇摇头。他毫无食欲,仿佛不知道自己这辈子什么时候肚子饿过。

“我病了,玛利亚,”他有气没力地说,“你知道是什么病么?”

“流感,”她回答,“两三天就会好的。现在你最好别吃东西,慢慢地就可以多吃了。也许明天吧。”

马丁不习惯于害病。玛利亚和她的小姑娘一离开地使试着站起来穿衣服。却脑袋发昏,眼睛也痛得睁不开。他凭着最大的意志力才挣扎着下了床,却一阵晕旋靠在桌上昏了过去。半小时之后才又挣扎着回到床上,老老实实躺着,闭着眼睛去体会各种痛苦和疲惫。玛利亚进来过几次,给他换额头上的冷敷。然后便让他静静躺着。她很知趣,不去哈叨,打扰他。这叫他激动,也很感谢。他自言自语地喃喃说:“玛利亚,你会得到牛奶场的。一定,一定。”

于是他回忆起了他昨天已埋葬的过去。自从他接到《跨越大陆》的通知以后,似乎已过了一辈子。一切都完了,一切都放弃了,他已翻开了新的一页。他曾竭尽全力作过斗争,可现在躺下了。他若没有让自己挨饿是不会染上流感的。他被打败了。连细菌进入了他的肌体也没有力气赶出去。这就是他的下场。

“一个人即使写了一图书馆的书,却死掉了,又有什么好处呢?”他大声地问,“这不是我的世界。我心里再也没有文学了。我要到会计室去管帐簿,拿月薪,跟露丝建立小家庭。”

两天以后,他吃了两个鸡蛋,两片面包,喝了一杯茶;便问起邮件,却发现眼睛还痛得无法读信。

“你给我读读吧,玛利亚,”他说,“那些厚信、长信都别管,全扔到桌子底下去,只给我读薄信。”

“我不识字,”她回答,“特利莎在上学,她识字。”

于是九岁的特利莎·西尔代便拆开信读给他听。他心不在焉地听着打字机店的一封催款的长信,心里忙着考虑找工作的种种办法,却突然一震,清醒过来。

“我们愿给你四十块钱,购买你故事的连载权,”特利莎吃力地拼读着,“只要你同意我们提出的修改方案。”

“那是什么杂志?”马丁叫道,“这儿,给我!”

现在他能看得见了,行动也不疼痛了。提出给他四十元的是《白鼠》杂志,那故事是《漩涡》,是他早期的一个恐怖故事。他把那信反复地读。编辑坦率地告诉他他对主题处理不当,而他们要买的恰好是主题,因为它别致。若是能砍掉故事的三分之一他们就准备采用,得到他同意的信后立即给他汇四十元来。

他要来了笔和墨水,告诉编辑只要他需要,可以砍去三分之一,并要他们立即把四十元汇来。

打发特利莎送信到邮简去之后,马丁又躺下来想看。毕竟没有撒谎,《白鼠》确是一经采用立即付酬的。《漩涡》有三千字,砍掉三分之一是两千字,四十元是两分钱一个字。每字两分,一经采用立即付酬——报纸说的是真话。可他却把《白鼠》看作是三流杂志!他显然对杂志并不内行。他曾把《跨越大陆》看作一流杂志,可它的稿酬却是一分钱十个字;他也曾认为《白鼠》无足轻重,可它付的稿酬却是《跨越大陆》的二十倍,而且一经采用立即付酬。

好了,有一点可以肯定了:他病好之后是不会去找工作的了。他脑子里还有许多像《漩涡》那样的好故事呢。按四十元一篇计算,他能赚到的钱比任何工作或职位都多得多。他以为失败了,没想到却胜利了。他的事业已得到证明,道路已经清楚。从《白鼠》开始他要不断增加接受他稿件的杂志。下锅之作可以休矣。那简直是浪费时间,一块钱也没有给他挣来过。他要写出作品来,优秀的作品,要让心里最优秀的东西滔滔不绝地流泻。他真希望露丝也在那儿和他共享欢乐。他检查床上剩下的信,却发现有一封正是露丝写的。那信委婉地批评了他,不知道出了什么事,他竟然那么久没有来看她——久得可怕呢。他满怀崇拜他重读了她的信,端详着她的手迹,钟爱看她的一笔一划,最后还亲吻了她的签名。

他回信时坦率地告诉露丝他之所以无法去看她是因为他最好的衣服已送进了当铺。他也告诉她地病了,但已差不多痊愈,在十天或两个礼拜之内(也就是信件去纽约一个来回的时间里)赎回了衣服就可以来看她。

但是露丝却不能等十天或两个礼拜,何况她爱的人还在生病。第二天下午,她就由亚瑟陪同,坐着莫尔斯家的马车到达了。这叫西尔伐家的孩子们和街道上的顽童们说不出地欢喜,却叫玛利亚大吃了一惊。在小小的前门门廊边西尔伐家的孩子往客人身边乱挤,她就扇他们耳光,然后又以可怕得出奇的英语为自己的外表致歉。她的袖子卷了起来,露出了挂着肥皂泡的胳膊,腰上还系着一根湿漉漉的麻布口袋,表明了她正在从事的工作。两位这么体面的年轻人来问起她的房客,弄得她不知所措,忘了请他们在小客厅里坐下。客人要进马丁的房间得从那暖烘烘、湿准流雳气腾腾、正在大洗其衣服的厨房里经过。马利亚一激动又让寝室门跟厕所门挂住了。于是阵阵带着肥皂泡沫和污物昧的水气便涌入了房间,达五分钟之久。

露丝成功地拐完了之字拐,穿过了桌子跟床之间的狭窄通道,来到了马丁身边。但是亚瑟的弯却拐得太大,在马丁做饭的角落里碰到了他的盆盆罐罐,弄出了一片叮当之声。亚瑟没有多逗留。露丝占了唯一的椅子,他只好在完成仔务之后退了出来,站到门口,成了西尔伐家七个孩子的中心。孩子们望着他像看什么新鲜玩意。十来个街区的孩子们都围到了马车旁边,急切地等着看什么悲惨可怕的结局。在他们的街道上马车只是用于婚礼或葬礼。可这儿并没有婚礼或葬礼,超出了他们的经验之外,因此很值得等着看个究竟。

马丁一直急于见到露丝。他本质上原是个多情种子,而又比平常人更需要同情——他渴望同情,那对于地意味着思想上的理解。可他还不了解露丝的同清大体是情绪上的,礼貌上的,与其说是出于对对象的理解,毋宁说是出于她温柔的天性。因此,在马丁抓住她的手向她倾诉时,她出于对他的爱便也握着他的手。一见他那孤苦伶订的样子和脸上受苦的迹象她的眼里便湿润了,闪出了泪花。

但是在他告诉她他有两篇作品被采用,又告诉她他在接到《跨越大陆》的通知时的失望和接《白鼠》的通知时的欢欣时,她却没有跟上他的情绪。她听见他说的话,知道那表面的意思,却不懂得它蕴涵的意义和他的失望和欢乐。她无法摆脱自己。她对卖稿子给杂志不感兴趣,她感到重要的是结婚,但她并没有意识到——那正如她不明白自己希望马丁找工作是一种本能的冲动,是替当妈妈作准备。若是有人把这话直截了当告诉了她,她是会脸红的,而且会生气,会坚持说她唯一的兴趣是希望她所爱的人能充分施展他的才能。因此,尽管马丁为自己在世上所选择的工作的第一次成功而兴高采烈,向她倾诉心曲的时候,她听见的也只是词语。她眼睛正望着屋子,为眼前的景象惊呆了。

露丝是第一次细看到贫穷的肮脏面貌。在她眼里饿肚子的情人似乎永远是浪漫的,却不知道饿肚子的情人究竟怎样生活。她做梦也没有想到会是这样。她的眼睛望望他,又望望屋子,然后又望回来。跟着她送到屋里的水蒸气里的脏衣服味儿叫人恶心。露丝认为若是那可怕的女人经常洗衣服的话,马丁准是泡在了那味儿里的。堕落怕就是这样传染开的吧。她望着马丁,仿佛看到周围环境在他身上留下的脏污。她从没有见过他没刮胡子的样子,他那三天没刮的胡子令她反感,不但给了她阴沉黑暗的印象,跟西尔代家里里外外相同,而且似乎突出了那种她所抵触的粗野的力。而现在他还在走火火魔,得意洋洋地向她讲述着他的两篇作品被采用的事。再受几天苦他原是可以投降,走向工作的,现在怕是又得在这个可怕的屋子里过下去,饿着肚子再写上几个月了。

“那是什么味呀?”她突然问道。

“玛利亚的有些衣服是有味道的,我猜想。我已经很习惯了。”

“不,不,不是那味儿,是另外的什么,一种叫人恶心的腐败味儿。”

“除了陈旧的烟草味,我没有闻到什么。”他宣布。

“就是烟草,太难闻了。你为什么抽那么多烟,马丁?”

“不知道,只是孤独时就想多抽。抽烟时间太长了。我是从少年时代就抽起的。”

“那可不是好习惯,你知道,”她责备他,“简直臭气熏天。”

“那是烟的毛病,我只能买最便宜的。你等着,等我拿到那四十元的支票,找要买一种连天使也不会讨厌的牌子。不过,三天之内就有两篇稿子被采用,不能算坏吧?四十块钱差不多可以还清我的全部欠债了呢。”

“那是两年的工作报酬吧?”她问。

“不,是不到一周工作的报酬。请把桌子那边那个本子递给我,那个灰皮的帐本。”他打开帐本迅速地翻了起来。“对,我没有错。《钟声激越》写了四天,《漩涡》写了两天。就是说一周的工作得了四十五块钱,每月一百八十块。比我所能得到的任何工作的报酬都高。而且这才是开头。我要想给你买的东西就是每月花一千块也不算多;每月五百块太少。四十五块不过是起步而已。等着看我大踏步前进吧。那时候我还要腾云驾雾呢。”

腾云驾雾是句俗话,露丝不懂,她又想到抽烟上去了。

“像现在这样你已经抽得太多,牌子造成的差别并不大,有害的是抽烟本身,不管牌子如何。你是个烟囱、活火山、会走路的烟筒子呢,简直丢脸透了,亲爱的马丁,你知道你是的。”

她带着请求的眼神向他便了过去。他望着她那娇嫩的脸儿,看着她那清澈纯洁的眼睛,又像过去一样感到自己配不上她了。

“我希望你别再抽了,”她细声地说,“我求你了,为了——我。”

“好,我不抽了,”他叫道,“你要我做什么都行,李爱的宝口,你知道的。”

她受到一种巨大的诱惑。她多次一厢情愿地曾见过他那宽厚随和的天性,因而认为若是她要求他放弃写作,他也准会答应。刹邵门话语已在她嘴唇上颤抖,她却忍住了。她不够勇敢,有几分胆怯,反倒迎着他靠了过去,倒在他的怀里喃喃地说:

“确实不是为了我,而是为了你自己呢,马丁。而且,做奴隶总不是好事,尤其是做毒品的奴隶。”

“可我却永远是你的奴隶呢。”他笑了。

“那,我就要颁布命令了。”

她调皮地望着他,虽然心里因为没有提出最大的要求而懊悔。

“服从乃是小臣的天职,陛下。”

“那么,朕的第一戒乃是:勿忘每日刮胡子。你看你把我脸都扎了。”

随之而来的是男欢女爱的调笑和爱抚。可是她已经提出了一个要求,不能一次提得太多。因为让他戒了烟,她感到一种女性的骄傲。下一回他就要要求他找工作了,他不是说过为了她他什么事都愿意做么?

她离开了他身边,去看了看房间。她检查了挂在头顶洗衣绳上的笔记,明白了用以把自行车吊在天花板下的辘轳的秘密,也为桌下那一大堆稿子感到难受——她认为那不知浪费了他多少时间。煤油炉子倒使她欣慰,可一看食品架,却空空如也。

“怎么啦,可怜的宝贝,你没有东西吃了?”她带着温柔的同情说,“你准是饿肚子了。”

“我把我的食物放在玛利亚的柜橱和储藏室里,”他撒了个谎,“在那儿保存得更好。我没有挨饿的危险的,你看这儿。”

她已经回到他的身边,看见他弯过的手肘,袖子底下二头肌滚动起来,结成了一块隆起的肌肉,又大又结实。从感情上讲,她并不喜欢它,但她的脉搏、血液,全身上下都爱它,都渴望着它。因此她便像过去一样不是避开他,而是无法解释地向他靠了过去。在随之而来的时刻里,在他紧紧拥抱着她的时候,她那关心着生活表面现象的脑子虽感到抵触,她的心,她那关心着生命本身的女性的心却因胜利而心花怒放。她正是在这种时候最深刻地感到了自己对马丁的刻骨铭心的爱的。因为在她感到他那健壮的胳膊伸过来,搂紧她,由于狂热楼得她生疼时,她已快乐得几乎要晕了过去。在这个时刻她找到了背叛自己的原则和崇高理想的根据,尤其是不作声地违背了父母意愿的根据。他们不愿意她嫁给这个人,因为她爱上了这个人而惊讶;就连她自己有时也惊讶——那是在她不在他身边、头脑冷静、能够思考的时候。可跟他在一起她便要爱他。那有时确实是一种令人烦恼、痛苦的爱情。但毕竟是爱情,比她要强有力的爱情。

“流感算不了什么,”他说,“有点痛苦,脑袋痛得难受,但跟登格热却不能比。”

“你也害过登格热么?”她心不在焉地问道,陶醉于躺在他怀里所得到的那种天赐的自我辩解。

她就这样心不在焉地引着他说着话儿。突然,他说出的话竟叫她大吃了一惊。

原来他是在一个秘密的麻风寨里得的登格热,那是在夏威夷群岛的一个小岛上,寨里有三十个麻风病人。

“你为什么会到那儿去?”她问。

对自己身子这种大大咧咧的忽视几乎是犯罪。

“因为我并不知道,”他回答,“我做梦也没有想到会有麻风病人。我脱离帆船之后从海滩上了岸,便往内陆跑,想找个地方躲起来。连续三天我都靠丛林中野生的芭拉果、奥夏苹果和香蕉过日子。第四天我找到了路——脚步踏出的通向内陆高处的路。那正是找要找的路,上面有新鲜的脚迹。它在有个地方通向一道山脊之顶,那儿窄得像刀刃,最高处还不到一英尺宽,两面都是几百英尺深的悬崖峭壁。只要有足够的武器弹药,一个人是可以在那儿堵住十万大军的。

“那是通向那隐藏他的唯一的路。在找到那路后三小时我已到达了那儿。那是一道山谷,是个火山熔岩的峰峦围成的口袋。全部修成了梯田,种着芋艿,也有水果。有八或十间草屋。但是我现到居民便知道闯到了什么地方。真是一目了然。”

“那你怎么办呢?”露丝像个苔丝德梦娜,及恐怖又入迷,喘不过气来。

“我什么办法都没有。他们的首领是个慈祥的老人,病相当重,却像个国王一样统治着。是他发现了这个小山谷,建立了这个麻风寨的——全都违法,可他们有熗,有大量的军火,而卡那卡人又是有名的神熗手,经受过打野牛野猪的训练的。没有办法,马丁·伊登进不了。他留下了——一留三个月。”

“后来你是怎么逃掉的?”

“要不是那儿有一个姑娘,我可能至今还在那儿。那姑娘有一半中国血统,四分之一白人血统,四分之一夏威夷人血统。可怜的人儿,很美丽的,而且受过良好的教育,她妈妈有檀香山有一百万左右的家产。好了,这个姑娘最终把我放掉了。他的妈妈资助着这麻风寨,她放了我不怕受到处分。可她让我发誓决不泄露这隐藏他的秘密。我也没有泄露过。这还是我第一次谈起呢。那姑娘刚开始出现麻风的症状,右手指头有些弯曲,手臂上有一个红色的斑点,如此而已。我估计她现在已经死了。”

“可你害怕不?你能逃出来而没有染上那可怕的病你高兴不?”

“害怕,”他承认,“我开头有点心惊胆战;后来也习惯了。不过我一直为那个可怜的姑娘感到难过。那也让我忘了害怕。那姑娘确实很美,外形美,精神也美,而巨只受到轻微的感染;可她却注定了要留在那儿,过着野蛮人的原始生活,慢慢烂掉。麻风病要比你想像的可怕多了。”

“可怜的姑娘,”露丝低声喃喃地说,“她竟然能让你去掉,真是个奇迹。”

“你是什么意思?”他不明白,问道。

“因为她一定是爱上你了,”露丝仍然低声地说,“现在,坦率地说吧,是不是?”

因为在洗衣店里工作过,现在又过着室内的生活,加上疾病和饥饿,马丁被太阳晒黑的脸已经褪色,甚至有些苍白。一阵红晕慢慢从苍白中透了出来。他正要开口说话,却被露丝打断了。

“没有关系,不必回答,没有必要,”她笑出了声。

但他仿佛觉得那笑声里有着某种生硬的东西,眼里的光芒也冷冷的。在那个瞬间他突然想起了自己在北太平洋经历的一次狂风。那风的幻影立即在他眼前升起——风起之前是个万里无云满月高照的夜,浩瀚的大海在月光下闪着冷冰冰的金属般的光。然后他看见了麻风寨的那个姑娘,记起她是因为爱上了他才让他逃掉的。

“她很高贵,”他简单地说,“是她给了我生命。”

关于这件事他只谈到这儿为止,但他却已听见露丝压抑住喉咙里一声嘶哑的呜咽,注意到她转过脸去对着窗户。再转过脸来时她已平静如初,眼里已没有了暴风雨的痕迹。

“我真傻,”她伤心地说,“可是我忍不住。我太爱你了,马丁,太爱了,太爱了,我会慢慢宽宏大量起来的,可是现在我却忍不住要嫉妒过去的幻影。而你知道你的过去里充满了幻影。

“肯定如此,”她不让他辩解,“不可能不如此。可怜的亚瑟已在向我做手势,要我走了。他等得太累了。现在再见吧,亲爱的。

“有药剂师推出了一种合剂,可以帮助戒烟,”她到了门口又回过头来,说,“我给你送一点来。”

门刚关上,又打开了。

“我非常爱你,爱你。”她悄悄对他说。这一次才真走掉了。

玛利亚用崇拜的眼光送她上了马车。她目光敏锐,注意到了露丝衣服的料子和剪裁。那是一种从没有见过的款式,有一种神秘的美。顽童们很失望,眼巴巴望着马车走掉了,然后回过头来望着玛利亚——她突然变成了街面上最显要的人物。可是她的一个孩子却破坏了她的威望,说那些体面的客人是来看他们家房客的。于是玛利亚又归于原先的默默无闻,而马丁却突然发现附近的娃娃们对自己肃然起敬了。在玛利亚心里马丁的身价也足足提高了十倍。那杂货店的葡萄牙老板怕也会同意再赊给马万三块八毛五的货品的,若是他亲眼看见了坐马车来的客人的话。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER 27


The sun of Martin's good fortune rose. The day after Ruth's visit, he received a check for three dollars from a New York scandal weekly in payment for three of his triolets. Two days later a newspaper published in Chicago accepted his "Treasure Hunters," promising to pay ten dollars for it on publication. The price was small, but it was the first article he had written, his very first attempt to express his thought on the printed page. To cap everything, the adventure serial for boys, his second attempt, was accepted before the end of the week by a juvenile monthly calling itself YOUTH AND AGE. It was true the serial was twenty-one thousand words, and they offered to pay him sixteen dollars on publication, which was something like seventy-five cents a thousand words; but it was equally true that it was the second thing he had attempted to write and that he was himself thoroughly aware of its clumsy worthlessness.




But even his earliest efforts were not marked with the clumsiness of mediocrity. What characterized them was the clumsiness of too great strength - the clumsiness which the tyro betrays when he crushes butterflies with battering rams and hammers out vignettes with a war-club. So it was that Martin was glad to sell his early efforts for songs. He knew them for what they were, and it had not taken him long to acquire this knowledge. What he pinned his faith to was his later work. He had striven to be something more than a mere writer of magazine fiction. He had sought to equip himself with the tools of artistry. On the other hand, he had not sacrificed strength. His conscious aim had been to increase his strength by avoiding excess of strength. Nor had he departed from his love of reality. His work was realism, though he had endeavored to fuse with it the fancies and beauties of imagination. What he sought was an impassioned realism, shot through with human aspiration and faith. What he wanted was life as it was, with all its spirit-groping and soul-reaching left in.




He had discovered, in the course of his reading, two schools of fiction. One treated of man as a god, ignoring his earthly origin; the other treated of man as a clod, ignoring his heaven-sent dreams and divine possibilities. Both the god and the clod schools erred, in Martin's estimation, and erred through too great singleness of sight and purpose. There was a compromise that approximated the truth, though it flattered not the school of god, while it challenged the brute-savageness of the school of clod. It was his story, "Adventure," which had dragged with Ruth, that Martin believed had achieved his ideal of the true in fiction; and it was in an essay, "God and Clod," that he had expressed his views on the whole general subject.




But "Adventure," and all that he deemed his best work, still went begging among the editors. His early work counted for nothing in his eyes except for the money it brought, and his horror stories, two of which he had sold, he did not consider high work nor his best work. To him they were frankly imaginative and fantastic, though invested with all the glamour of the real, wherein lay their power. This investiture of the grotesque and impossible with reality, he looked upon as a trick - a skilful trick at best. Great literature could not reside in such a field. Their artistry was high, but he denied the worthwhileness of artistry when divorced from humanness. The trick had been to fling over the face of his artistry a mask of humanness, and this he had done in the half-dozen or so stories of the horror brand he had written before he emerged upon the high peaks of "Adventure," "Joy," "The Pot," and "The Wine of Life."




The three dollars he received for the triolets he used to eke out a precarious existence against the arrival of the WHITE MOUSE check. He cashed the first check with the suspicious Portuguese grocer, paying a dollar on account and dividing the remaining two dollars between the baker and the fruit store. Martin was not yet rich enough to afford meat, and he was on slim allowance when the WHITE MOUSE check arrived. He was divided on the cashing of it. He had never been in a bank in his life, much less been in one on business, and he had a naive and childlike desire to walk into one of the big banks down in Oakland and fling down his indorsed check for forty dollars. On the other hand, practical common sense ruled that he should cash it with his grocer and thereby make an impression that would later result in an increase of credit. Reluctantly Martin yielded to the claims of the grocer, paying his bill with him in full, and receiving in change a pocketful of jingling coin. Also, he paid the other tradesmen in full, redeemed his suit and his bicycle, paid one month's rent on the type-writer, and paid Maria the overdue month for his room and a month in advance. This left him in his pocket, for emergencies, a balance of nearly three dollars.




In itself, this small sum seemed a fortune. Immediately on recovering his clothes he had gone to see Ruth, and on the way he could not refrain from jingling the little handful of silver in his pocket. He had been so long without money that, like a rescued starving man who cannot let the unconsumed food out of his sight, Martin could not keep his hand off the silver. He was not mean, nor avaricious, but the money meant more than so many dollars and cents. It stood for success, and the eagles stamped upon the coins were to him so many winged victories.




It came to him insensibly that it was a very good world. It certainly appeared more beautiful to him. For weeks it had been a very dull and sombre world; but now, with nearly all debts paid, three dollars jingling in his pocket, and in his mind the consciousness of success, the sun shone bright and warm, and even a rain-squall that soaked unprepared pedestrians seemed a merry happening to him. When he starved, his thoughts had dwelt often upon the thousands he knew were starving the world over; but now that he was feasted full, the fact of the thousands starving was no longer pregnant in his brain. He forgot about them, and, being in love, remembered the countless lovers in the world. Without deliberately thinking about it, MOTIFS for love-lyrics began to agitate his brain. Swept away by the creative impulse, he got off the electric car, without vexation, two blocks beyond his crossing.




He found a number of persons in the Morse home. Ruth's two girl- cousins were visiting her from San Rafael, and Mrs. Morse, under pretext of entertaining them, was pursuing her plan of surrounding Ruth with young people. The campaign had begun during Martin's enforced absence, and was already in full swing. She was making a point of having at the house men who were doing things. Thus, in addition to the cousins Dorothy and Florence, Martin encountered two university professors, one of Latin, the other of English; a young army officer just back from the Philippines, one-time school- mate of Ruth's; a young fellow named Melville, private secretary to Joseph Perkins, head of the San Francisco Trust Company; and finally of the men, a live bank cashier, Charles Hapgood, a youngish man of thirty-five, graduate of Stanford University, member of the Nile Club and the Unity Club, and a conservative speaker for the Republican Party during campaigns - in short, a rising young man in every way. Among the women was one who painted portraits, another who was a professional musician, and still another who possessed the degree of Doctor of Sociology and who was locally famous for her social settlement work in the slums of San Francisco. But the women did not count for much in Mrs. Morse's plan. At the best, they were necessary accessories. The men who did things must be drawn to the house somehow.




"Don't get excited when you talk," Ruth admonished Martin, before the ordeal of introduction began.




He bore himself a bit stiffly at first, oppressed by a sense of his own awkwardness, especially of his shoulders, which were up to their old trick of threatening destruction to furniture and ornaments. Also, he was rendered self-conscious by the company. He had never before been in contact with such exalted beings nor with so many of them. Melville, the bank cashier, fascinated him, and he resolved to investigate him at the first opportunity. For underneath Martin's awe lurked his assertive ego, and he felt the urge to measure himself with these men and women and to find out what they had learned from the books and life which he had not learned.




Ruth's eyes roved to him frequently to see how he was getting on, and she was surprised and gladdened by the ease with which he got acquainted with her cousins. He certainly did not grow excited, while being seated removed from him the worry of his shoulders. Ruth knew them for clever girls, superficially brilliant, and she could scarcely understand their praise of Martin later that night at going to bed. But he, on the other hand, a wit in his own class, a gay quizzer and laughter-maker at dances and Sunday picnics, had found the making of fun and the breaking of good- natured lances simple enough in this environment. And on this evening success stood at his back, patting him on the shoulder and telling him that he was making good, so that he could afford to laugh and make laughter and remain unabashed.




Later, Ruth's anxiety found justification. Martin and Professor Caldwell had got together in a conspicuous corner, and though Martin no longer wove the air with his hands, to Ruth's critical eye he permitted his own eyes to flash and glitter too frequently, talked too rapidly and warmly, grew too intense, and allowed his aroused blood to redden his cheeks too much. He lacked decorum and control, and was in decided contrast to the young professor of English with whom he talked.




But Martin was not concerned with appearances! He had been swift to note the other's trained mind and to appreciate his command of knowledge. Furthermore, Professor Caldwell did not realize Martin's concept of the average English professor. Martin wanted him to talk shop, and, though he seemed averse at first, succeeded in making him do it. For Martin did not see why a man should not talk shop.




"It's absurd and unfair," he had told Ruth weeks before, "this objection to talking shop. For what reason under the sun do men and women come together if not for the exchange of the best that is in them? And the best that is in them is what they are interested in, the thing by which they make their living, the thing they've specialized on and sat up days and nights over, and even dreamed about. Imagine Mr. Butler living up to social etiquette and enunciating his views on Paul Verlaine or the German drama or the novels of D'Annunzio. We'd be bored to death. I, for one, if I must listen to Mr. Butler, prefer to hear him talk about his law. It's the best that is in him, and life is so short that I want the best of every man and woman I meet."




"But," Ruth had objected, "there are the topics of general interest to all."




"There, you mistake," he had rushed on. "All persons in society, all cliques in society - or, rather, nearly all persons and cliques - ape their betters. Now, who are the best betters? The idlers, the wealthy idlers. They do not know, as a rule, the things known by the persons who are doing something in the world. To listen to conversation about such things would mean to be bored, wherefore the idlers decree that such things are shop and must not be talked about. Likewise they decree the things that are not shop and which may be talked about, and those things are the latest operas, latest novels, cards, billiards, cocktails, automobiles, horse shows, trout fishing, tuna-fishing, big-game shooting, yacht sailing, and so forth - and mark you, these are the things the idlers know. In all truth, they constitute the shop-talk of the idlers. And the funniest part of it is that many of the clever people, and all the would-be clever people, allow the idlers so to impose upon them. As for me, I want the best a man's got in him, call it shop vulgarity or anything you please."




And Ruth had not understood. This attack of his on the established had seemed to her just so much wilfulness of opinion.




So Martin contaminated Professor Caldwell with his own earnestness, challenging him to speak his mind. As Ruth paused beside them she heard Martin saying:-




"You surely don't pronounce such heresies in the University of California?"




Professor Caldwell shrugged his shoulders. "The honest taxpayer and the politician, you know. Sacramento gives us our appropriations and therefore we kowtow to Sacramento, and to the Board of Regents, and to the party press, or to the press of both parties."




"Yes, that's clear; but how about you?" Martin urged. "You must be a fish out of the water."




"Few like me, I imagine, in the university pond. Sometimes I am fairly sure I am out of water, and that I should belong in Paris, in Grub Street, in a hermit's cave, or in some sadly wild Bohemian crowd, drinking claret, - dago-red they call it in San Francisco, - dining in cheap restaurants in the Latin Quarter, and expressing vociferously radical views upon all creation. Really, I am frequently almost sure that I was cut out to be a radical. But then, there are so many questions on which I am not sure. I grow timid when I am face to face with my human frailty, which ever prevents me from grasping all the factors in any problem - human, vital problems, you know."




And as he talked on, Martin became aware that to his own lips had come the "Song of the Trade Wind":-




"I am strongest at noon, But under the moon I stiffen the bunt of the sail."




He was almost humming the words, and it dawned upon him that the other reminded him of the trade wind, of the Northeast Trade, steady, and cool, and strong. He was equable, he was to be relied upon, and withal there was a certain bafflement about him. Martin had the feeling that he never spoke his full mind, just as he had often had the feeling that the trades never blew their strongest but always held reserves of strength that were never used. Martin's trick of visioning was active as ever. His brain was a most accessible storehouse of remembered fact and fancy, and its contents seemed ever ordered and spread for his inspection. Whatever occurred in the instant present, Martin's mind immediately presented associated antithesis or similitude which ordinarily expressed themselves to him in vision. It was sheerly automatic, and his visioning was an unfailing accompaniment to the living present. Just as Ruth's face, in a momentary jealousy had called before his eyes a forgotten moonlight gale, and as Professor Caldwell made him see again the Northeast Trade herding the white billows across the purple sea, so, from moment to moment, not disconcerting but rather identifying and classifying, new memory- visions rose before him, or spread under his eyelids, or were thrown upon the screen of his consciousness. These visions came out of the actions and sensations of the past, out of things and events and books of yesterday and last week - a countless host of apparitions that, waking or sleeping, forever thronged his mind.




So it was, as he listened to Professor Caldwell's easy flow of speech - the conversation of a clever, cultured man - that Martin kept seeing himself down all his past. He saw himself when he had been quite the hoodlum, wearing a "stiff-rim" Stetson hat and a square-cut, double-breasted coat, with a certain swagger to the shoulders and possessing the ideal of being as tough as the police permitted. He did not disguise it to himself, nor attempt to palliate it. At one time in his life he had been just a common hoodlum, the leader of a gang that worried the police and terrorized honest, working-class householders. But his ideals had changed. He glanced about him at the well-bred, well-dressed men and women, and breathed into his lungs the atmosphere of culture and refinement, and at the same moment the ghost of his early youth, in stiff-rim and square-cut, with swagger and toughness, stalked across the room. This figure, of the corner hoodlum, he saw merge into himself, sitting and talking with an actual university professor.




For, after all, he had never found his permanent abiding place. He had fitted in wherever he found himself, been a favorite always and everywhere by virtue of holding his own at work and at play and by his willingness and ability to fight for his rights and command respect. But he had never taken root. He had fitted in sufficiently to satisfy his fellows but not to satisfy himself. He had been perturbed always by a feeling of unrest, had heard always the call of something from beyond, and had wandered on through life seeking it until he found books and art and love. And here he was, in the midst of all this, the only one of all the comrades he had adventured with who could have made themselves eligible for the inside of the Morse home.




But such thoughts and visions did not prevent him from following Professor Caldwell closely. And as he followed, comprehendingly and critically, he noted the unbroken field of the other's knowledge. As for himself, from moment to moment the conversation showed him gaps and open stretches, whole subjects with which he was unfamiliar. Nevertheless, thanks to his Spencer, he saw that he possessed the outlines of the field of knowledge. It was a matter only of time, when he would fill in the outline. Then watch out, he thought - 'ware shoal, everybody! He felt like sitting at the feet of the professor, worshipful and absorbent; but, as he listened, he began to discern a weakness in the other's judgments - a weakness so stray and elusive that he might not have caught it had it not been ever present. And when he did catch it, he leapt to equality at once.




Ruth came up to them a second time, just as Martin began to speak.




"I'll tell you where you are wrong, or, rather, what weakens your judgments," he said. "You lack biology. It has no place in your scheme of things. - Oh, I mean the real interpretative biology, from the ground up, from the laboratory and the test-tube and the vitalized inorganic right on up to the widest aesthetic and sociological generalizations."




Ruth was appalled. She had sat two lecture courses under Professor Caldwell and looked up to him as the living repository of all knowledge.




"I scarcely follow you," he said dubiously.




Martin was not so sure but what he had followed him.




"Then I'll try to explain," he said. "I remember reading in Egyptian history something to the effect that understanding could not be had of Egyptian art without first studying the land question."




"Quite right," the professor nodded.




"And it seems to me," Martin continued, "that knowledge of the land question, in turn, of all questions, for that matter, cannot be had without previous knowledge of the stuff and the constitution of life. How can we understand laws and institutions, religions and customs, without understanding, not merely the nature of the creatures that made them, but the nature of the stuff out of which the creatures are made? Is literature less human than the architecture and sculpture of Egypt? Is there one thing in the known universe that is not subject to the law of evolution? - Oh, I know there is an elaborate evolution of the various arts laid down, but it seems to me to be too mechanical. The human himself is left out. The evolution of the tool, of the harp, of music and song and dance, are all beautifully elaborated; but how about the evolution of the human himself, the development of the basic and intrinsic parts that were in him before he made his first tool or gibbered his first chant? It is that which you do not consider, and which I call biology. It is biology in its largest aspects.




"I know I express myself incoherently, but I've tried to hammer out the idea. It came to me as you were talking, so I was not primed and ready to deliver it. You spoke yourself of the human frailty that prevented one from taking all the factors into consideration. And you, in turn, - or so it seems to me, - leave out the biological factor, the very stuff out of which has been spun the fabric of all the arts, the warp and the woof of all human actions and achievements."




To Ruth's amazement, Martin was not immediately crushed, and that the professor replied in the way he did struck her as forbearance for Martin's youth. Professor Caldwell sat for a full minute, silent and fingering his watch chain.




"Do you know," he said at last, "I've had that same criticism passed on me once before - by a very great man, a scientist and evolutionist, Joseph Le Conte. But he is dead, and I thought to remain undetected; and now you come along and expose me. Seriously, though - and this is confession - I think there is something in your contention - a great deal, in fact. I am too classical, not enough up-to-date in the interpretative branches of science, and I can only plead the disadvantages of my education and a temperamental slothfulness that prevents me from doing the work. I wonder if you'll believe that I've never been inside a physics or chemistry laboratory? It is true, nevertheless. Le Conte was right, and so are you, Mr. Eden, at least to an extent - how much I do not know."




Ruth drew Martin away with her on a pretext; when she had got him aside, whispering:-




"You shouldn't have monopolized Professor Caldwell that way. There may be others who want to talk with him."




"My mistake," Martin admitted contritely. "But I'd got him stirred up, and he was so interesting that I did not think. Do you know, he is the brightest, the most intellectual, man I have ever talked with. And I'll tell you something else. I once thought that everybody who went to universities, or who sat in the high places in society, was just as brilliant and intelligent as he."




"He's an exception," she answered.




"I should say so. Whom do you want me to talk to now? - Oh, say, bring me up against that cashier-fellow."




Martin talked for fifteen minutes with him, nor could Ruth have wished better behavior on her lover's part. Not once did his eyes flash nor his cheeks flush, while the calmness and poise with which he talked surprised her. But in Martin's estimation the whole tribe of bank cashiers fell a few hundred per cent, and for the rest of the evening he labored under the impression that bank cashiers and talkers of platitudes were synonymous phrases. The army officer he found good-natured and simple, a healthy, wholesome young fellow, content to occupy the place in life into which birth and luck had flung him. On learning that he had completed two years in the university, Martin was puzzled to know where he had stored it away. Nevertheless Martin liked him better than the platitudinous bank cashier.




"I really don't object to platitudes," he told Ruth later; "but what worries me into nervousness is the pompous, smugly complacent, superior certitude with which they are uttered and the time taken to do it. Why, I could give that man the whole history of the Reformation in the time he took to tell me that the Union-Labor Party had fused with the Democrats. Do you know, he skins his words as a professional poker-player skins the cards that are dealt out to him. Some day I'll show you what I mean."




"I'm sorry you don't like him," was her reply. "He's a favorite of Mr. Butler's. Mr. Butler says he is safe and honest - calls him the Rock, Peter, and says that upon him any banking institution can well be built."




"I don't doubt it - from the little I saw of him and the less I heard from him; but I don't think so much of banks as I did. You don't mind my speaking my mind this way, dear?"




"No, no; it is most interesting."




"Yes," Martin went on heartily, "I'm no more than a barbarian getting my first impressions of civilization. Such impressions must be entertainingly novel to the civilized person."




"What did you think of my cousins?" Ruth queried.




"I liked them better than the other women. There's plenty of fun in them along with paucity of pretence."




"Then you did like the other women?"




He shook his head.




"That social-settlement woman is no more than a sociological poll- parrot. I swear, if you winnowed her out between the stars, like Tomlinson, there would be found in her not one original thought. As for the portrait-painter, she was a positive bore. She'd make a good wife for the cashier. And the musician woman! I don't care how nimble her fingers are, how perfect her technique, how wonderful her expression - the fact is, she knows nothing about music."




"She plays beautifully," Ruth protested.




"Yes, she's undoubtedly gymnastic in the externals of music, but the intrinsic spirit of music is unguessed by her. I asked her what music meant to her - you know I'm always curious to know that particular thing; and she did not know what it meant to her, except that she adored it, that it was the greatest of the arts, and that it meant more than life to her."




"You were making them talk shop," Ruth charged him.




"I confess it. And if they were failures on shop, imagine my sufferings if they had discoursed on other subjects. Why, I used to think that up here, where all the advantages of culture were enjoyed - " He paused for a moment, and watched the youthful shade of himself, in stiff-rim and square-cut, enter the door and swagger across the room. "As I was saying, up here I thought all men and women were brilliant and radiant. But now, from what little I've seen of them, they strike me as a pack of ninnies, most of them, and ninety percent of the remainder as bores. Now there's Professor Caldwell - he's different. He's a man, every inch of him and every atom of his gray matter."




Ruth's face brightened.




"Tell me about him," she urged. "Not what is large and brilliant - I know those qualities; but whatever you feel is adverse. I am most curious to know."




"Perhaps I'll get myself in a pickle." Martin debated humorously for a moment. "Suppose you tell me first. Or maybe you find in him nothing less than the best."




"I attended two lecture courses under him, and I have known him for two years; that is why I am anxious for your first impression."




"Bad impression, you mean? Well, here goes. He is all the fine things you think about him, I guess. At least, he is the finest specimen of intellectual man I have met; but he is a man with a secret shame."




"Oh, no, no!" he hastened to cry. "Nothing paltry nor vulgar. What I mean is that he strikes me as a man who has gone to the bottom of things, and is so afraid of what he saw that he makes believe to himself that he never saw it. Perhaps that's not the clearest way to express it. Here's another way. A man who has found the path to the hidden temple but has not followed it; who has, perhaps, caught glimpses of the temple and striven afterward to convince himself that it was only a mirage of foliage. Yet another way. A man who could have done things but who placed no value on the doing, and who, all the time, in his innermost heart, is regretting that he has not done them; who has secretly laughed at the rewards for doing, and yet, still more secretly, has yearned for the rewards and for the joy of doing."




"I don't read him that way," she said. "And for that matter, I don't see just what you mean."




"It is only a vague feeling on my part," Martin temporized. "I have no reason for it. It is only a feeling, and most likely it is wrong. You certainly should know him better than I."




From the evening at Ruth's Martin brought away with him strange confusions and conflicting feelings. He was disappointed in his goal, in the persons he had climbed to be with. On the other hand, he was encouraged with his success. The climb had been easier than he expected. He was superior to the climb, and (he did not, with false modesty, hide it from himself) he was superior to the beings among whom he had climbed - with the exception, of course, of Professor Caldwell. About life and the books he knew more than they, and he wondered into what nooks and crannies they had cast aside their educations. He did not know that he was himself possessed of unusual brain vigor; nor did he know that the persons who were given to probing the depths and to thinking ultimate thoughts were not to be found in the drawing rooms of the world's Morses; nor did he dream that such persons were as lonely eagles sailing solitary in the azure sky far above the earth and its swarming freight of gregarious life.
马丁的好运的太阳升了起来。露丝走后的第二天他收到了纽约一家流言蜚语周刊寄给他的一张三块钱的支票,作为他三篇小三重奏的稿费。两天以后芝加哥出版的一家报纸又采用了他的《探宝者》,答应发表后给他十块钱。报酬虽不高,但那却是他的第一篇作品,他第一次想变作铅印的试作。尤其叫他高兴的是,他的第二篇试作,一篇为孩子们写的连载冒险故事,也在周末前为一家名叫《青年与时代》的月刊所采用。不错,那篇东西有二万一千字,而他们只答应在发表后给他十六块钱,差不多只有七毛五分钱一千字;可还有一点也是事实:那是他试笔的第二篇东西,他完全明白那东西很拙劣,没有价值。

他最早的作品尽管拙劣,却不平庸。它们拙劣的特点是过人——是初出茅庐者那种用撞城锤砸蝴蝶、用大棒描花样的拙劣。因此能把自己早期的作品用低价卖掉他仍然感到高兴。他明白它们的价值——写出后不久就明白了。他把信心寄托在后来的作品上。他曾努力要超出杂志小说家的水平;力求用种种富于艺术性的手段武装自己。另一方面他也不愿因此削弱作品的力量。他有意识地从避免过火中提高作品的力度。他也没有偏离自己对现实的爱。他的作品是现实主义的,但他也努力把它跟幻想和想像中的美融合在一起。他追求的是一种冷静的现实主义,充满了人类的理想和信念。他所要求的是生香暮色的生活,其中融会了生活中的全部精神探索和灵魂成就。

在阅读过程中他发现了两种小说流派。一派把人当作天神,忽略了人原是来自人间;另一派把人当作傻瓜,忽略了他天赋的梦想和神圣的潜力。在马丁看来,两派都有错误,原因在于视角和目的太单一。有一种折中办法较为接近真实,虽然它一方面非难了傻瓜派的禽兽式的野蛮,一方面也不吹嘘天神派。马丁觉得他那篇叫露丝觉得冗长的故事《冒险》就体现了小说真实的理想。他在一篇叫做《天神与傻瓜》的论文里对这个问题作了全面的阐述。

但是他的帽险》和其他自以为得意的作品却还在编辑们门前乞讨。他早期的作品在他眼里除了给他带来报酬之外毫无意义。尽管他的恐怖故事卖掉了两个,他也并不认为它们是高雅之作,更不是最好的作品。他认为这些东西显然都是彰明较著的想当然和想入非非之作,尽管也杂读了真实事物的种种魅力——那是它们力量的源泉。他把这种荒诞离奇与现实的杂揉只认作是一种技巧——最多是一种聪明的技巧。伟大的文学作品是不可能在这样的东西里存在的。它们技巧颇高,但他并不承认脱离了人性的技巧会有什么价值。它们只是给技巧戴上人性的面具而已。他在他的六七部恐怖小说里就是这样做的。那是在他达到《冒险》、《欢乐》、《罐子》和《生命之酒》的高度之前的事。

他拿三篇小三重奏的三块钱凑合着应付到了《白鼠》的支票到达。他在杂货店那信他不过的葡萄牙老板那儿兑现了第一张支票,还了他一块钱,另外两块分别还给了面包店和水果店。马丁还吃不起肉,《白鼠》的支票到达时他一直在捉襟见肘。对第二张支票的兑现他拿不定主意。他一辈子也没有进过银行,更不用说去取钱了。他有一种孩子气的天真愿望:大踏步走进奥克兰一家大银行,把已经背书好的四十元支票往柜台上一扔。可另一方面讲求实效的常识却告诉他,还是在他的杂货商那儿兑现的好,那可以给杂货商一个印象,以后可以多赊点帐。他不情愿地满足了杂货商的要求,还清了他的债,找回了一口袋叮叮当当的硬币。然后还清了其他商人的债,赎回了他的衣服和自行车,预付了一个月打字机租金,还了玛利亚一个月欠租,还预付了一个月。这一来他兜里只剩下差不多三块钱以备不时之需了。

这小小的进项似乎成了一笔大财产。他把衣服一赎回来便立即去看露丝,路上忍不住在口袋里拨拉着几块银币叮当作响。他穷得太久。像一个快要饿死而被救活的人舍不得放开没吃完的食物一样,他那手就是舍不得离开几个银币。他并不小气,也不贪婪,但那钱不光意味着银洋和角于,它代表了成功,银币上的几个鹰徽对他来说就是几个长了翅膀的胜利之神。

他朦胧中感到这个世界非常美好,确实比平常美好多了。许多个礼拜以来世界都是非常郁闷的,严峻的;可现在,在他几乎还清了所有的债务,口袋里还叮叮当当响着王块钱,心里满是成功的喜悦的时候,阳光便明亮而温暖起来。这时忽然下了一场急雨,把毫无准备的行入淋了个透湿,可他仍然感到高兴。他挨饿时心里老想着他所知道的世界上无数挨饿的人,可现在他吃饱了,脑子里那无数挨饿的人便消失了,忘掉了。他自己在恋爱,便也想起了世界上无数恋爱的人。爱情抒情诗的主题不知不觉已开始在他脑子里活跃。他受到创作激情的左右,下电车时已错过了两段路,也不觉烦恼。

他在莫尔斯家见到许多人。露丝的两个表姐妹从圣拉非水来看她,莫尔斯太太便以招待她俩为由执行起用年轻人包围露丝的计划。在马丁无法出面的时候这计划已经开始,现在正进行得热火朝天。她把邀请有作为的男性作为重点。于是除了陶乐赛和佛罗伦斯两姐妹之外,马丁在那里还见到了两位大学教授(一个教拉丁文,一个教英文);一个刚从菲律宾回来的青年军官,以前曾是露丝的同学;一个叫梅尔维尔的人,是旧金山信托公司总裁约塞夫·相金斯的私人秘书。最后,还有一个男性是一个精力旺盛的银行经理,查理·哈外古德,斯坦福大学的毕业生,三十五岁了却还年轻,尼罗俱乐部和团结俱乐部的成员,在竞选时是共和党稳妥的发言人——总之在各个方面都正在扶摇直上。女性之中有一个女肖像画家,一个职业音乐家,还有一个社会学博士,因为她在旧金山贫民窟的社会服务工作而在那一带小有名气。但是女性在莫尔斯太太的计划里并不重要,充其量是些必不可少的附属品。有所作为的男性总是要设法吸引来的。

“你谈话时别激动。”在考验性的介绍开始之前露丝叮嘱马丁。

马丁因为自己的笨拙感到压抑,开始时有些拘谨,尤其害怕自己的肩膀会出毛病,威胁到家具和摆设的安全。这一群人还让他忐忑不安。这样高层的人士他以前从没见过,何况人数又那么多。银行经理哈外古德很引起他的兴趣,他决定有了机会就研究他一下。因为在他的惶惑之下还隐藏着一个自信的自我。他急于用这些纳士淑女对照自己,看他们从书本和生活中学会了一些什么他所不知道的东西。

露丝的眼睛不时地瞄着他,看他应付得如何,见他轻轻松松便跟她的表姐妹认识了,不禁感到又吃惊又高兴。他肯定没有激动,坐下之后也不再担心肩膀闯祸了。露丝知道两个表姐妹都是聪明人——浅薄,但是敏锐。(那天晚上睡觉时两人都称赞马丁,她却几乎不明白她们的意思。)在那一方面,马丁也觉得在这样的环境里开开玩笑、无饬大雅地斗斗嘴其实轻而易举,因为他在自己的阶级里原本是个机智风趣的人,在舞会和星期天的野宴上惯会挖苦说笑,调皮逗乐。而那天晚上成功又还支持着他,拍着他的肩膀告诉他地干得不错。因此他不但能够让自己高兴也能够让别人高兴,毫无窘涩之感。

后来露丝的担心却有了道理。马丁跟考德威尔教授在一个显眼的角落里交谈起来。对露丝那挑剔的眼光说来,虽然马丁没有在空中挥舞手臂,却仍然太容易激动,眼睛太频繁地闪出光芒,谈话也太快太热烈,太容易紧张,也太频繁地容许激动的血液涨红了面颊。他缺乏彬彬有礼的风度和涵养,跟和他谈话的年青英文教授形成了鲜明的对比。

但是马丁对外表却满不在乎2他很快就注意到了对方那训练有素的心智,欣赏起他的渊博。而考德威尔教授却不了解马丁对一般英文教授的看法。因为马丁不明白为什么不应该谈本行,便要求教授谈本行,教授虽然开始时似乎不乐意,后来还是照办了。

“反对谈本行是荒谬而不公平的,”几个礼拜以前马丁曾对露丝说过,“当男男女女欢聚一堂之时,在太阳底下有什么理由不让他们交流自己最好的东西呢?他们最好的东西正是他们最感兴趣的、他们赖以生存的东西,他们日以继夜地专门干着、研究着、甚至连做梦也想着的东西。你想想看,若是让巴特勒先生出于社交礼仪而大谈其保尔·魏尔伦、德国戏剧、或是邓南遮,岂不是要闷死人吗?如果我非要听巴特勒先生谈话不可,我就宁愿听他谈他的法律。那才是他最好的东西。生命太短促,我想听到的是我所遇到的人的精华。”

“可是,”露丝反对道,“大家都感兴趣的话题是有的。”

“那你就错了,”他匆匆说下去,“社会上的每一个人和每一个集团——一或者说,几乎每一个人和每一个集团——都要拿比他们强的人做榜样。那么谁是最好的榜样呢?无所事事的人,有钱的闲人。这些人一般不知道世界上做事的人所知道的东西。听他们谈自己所从事的事业他们感到沉闷。因此他们便宣布这类东西叫做本行,不宜谈论。同样他们还确定什么东西不算本行。可以谈论。于是可以谈论的东西就成了最近演出的歌剧、最新出版的小说、打扑克、打弹子、鸡尾酒、汽车、马展、钓鲜鱼、钓金熗鱼、大野兽狩猎、驾游艇和诸如此类的东西——注意,这些都不过是闲人们熟悉的东西。说穿了,是他们决定了他们自己的本行话题。而最有趣的是:他们把这类意见强加给别人,而许多聪明人和全部可能聪明的人都欣然接受。至于我么,我总是想听见别人的精华,无论你把它叫做失礼的本行话或是别的什么都可以。”

露丝没有明白他的道理,只觉得他对于现存秩序的攻击太意气用事。

这样,马丁以他急切的心情感染了考德威尔教授,逼着他说出了心里话。露丝从他身边走过时正听见马丁在说:——

“这种离经叛道之论你在加州大学肯定是不会发表的吧?”

考德威尔教授耸耸肩。“这是诚实的纳税人应付政客的办法,你知道,萨克拉门托给我们拨款,我们只好向萨克拉门托磕头。我们还得向大学董事会磕头,向党报磕头,向两个党的党报都磕头。”

“对,这很清楚,可你呢?”马丁追问,“你看来是一条离开了水的鱼呢!”

“我看,在大学这个池子里像我这样的鱼并不多。有时我真觉得自己是条离开了水的鱼。我应当到巴黎去,到贫民窟去,到隐士的洞窟里去,或是跟贫苦放荡的流浪艺人在一起。我应当跟他们一起喝红葡萄酒——在旧金山叫做‘南欧红’。我应当在法国拉丁区廉价的饭店里吃饭,对上帝创造的一切发表激烈的言论,慷慨激昂。的确,我几乎经常确认自己是个天生的极端分子。可我有许多问题仍旧没有把握。在我面对着自己人性的弱点时,我便怯懦起来。这常常使我对任何问题都难以纵览全局——人的问题,事关重大的,你知道。”

他一边谈着,马丁却意识到自己的唇边出现了《贸易风之歌》——“我最强劲时虽在正午,可等到夜里月儿透出,我也能吹得帆地鼓鼓。”

他几乎哼出声来,却忽然发现原来教授今他想起了贸易风——东北贸易风。那风稳定、冷静、有力。这位教授心平气和,值得信赖,可仍叫他捉摸不透:说话总有所保留,宛如马丁心中的贸易风:浩荡强劲,却留有余地,决不横流放肆。马丁又浮想联翩了。他的脑子是一个极容易展开的仓库,装满了记忆中的事实和幻象,似乎永远对他整整齐齐排开,让他查阅,在他眼前发生的一切都可以引起对比的或类比的联想,而且往往以幻影的形态出现——它总是随着眼前鲜活的事物飘然而来。例如:露丝的脸上暂时表现嫉妒时,他眼前便出现了久已遗忘的月光下的狂风场景;又如听考德威尔教授讲话时他眼前便重新出现了东北贸易风驱赶着白色的浪花越过紫红色的海面的场景。这样,新的回忆镜头往往在他面前出现,在他眼帘前展开,或是投射到他的脑海里。它们并不让他难堪,反倒使他认识了自己,明白了自己的类属。它们源出于往日的行为与感受,源出于昨天和上个礼拜的情况、事件、和书本——源出于不计其数的幻影,无论是他睡着还是醒着总在他心里翻腾的幻影。

在他听着考德威尔教授轻松流畅的谈话(那是个有教养有头脑的人的谈话)时,便是这样。他不断地看到过去的自己。那时他还是个十足的流氓,戴一项“硬边的”斯泰森大檐帽,穿一件双排扣方襟短外衣,得意洋洋地晃动着肩膀,他的最高理想是粗野到警察管不到的程度——而对这些他并不打算掩饰或淡化。他在生活里有一段时间的确是个平常的流氓,一个叫警察头痛的、威胁着诚实的工人阶级居民的团伙头子。可是他的理想已经改变。现在他满眼是衣冠楚楚、门第高贵的红男绿女,肺里吸进的是教养与风雅的空气,而同时他早年那个戴硬边帽、穿方襟短外衣、神气十足、粗鲁野蛮的青年的幻影也在这屋里出没。他看见那街角的流氓的形象跟自己合而为一,正跟一个货真价实的大学教授并坐交谈。

他毕竟还没有找到自己持久的地位。他到哪儿都能随遇而安,到哪儿都永远受人欢迎,因为他工作认真,愿意并也能够为自己的权利而斗争,因此别人对他不能不尊敬。但是他却不曾扎下根来。他有足够的能力满足伙伴们的需要,却不能满足自己的需要。一种不安的情绪永远困扰着他,他永远听见远处有什么东西在召唤,他一辈子都在前进,都在憧憬着它,直到他发现了书本、艺术和爱情。于是他来到了这里,来到这一切之间。在他所有共过患难的同志们之中他是唯一被接纳入莫尔斯家的人。

可这一切思想和幻影并没有影响他跟随考德威尔教授的谈话。在他怀着理解和批判的眼光听着他时,他注意到了对方知识的完整性,也不时地发现着自己知识的漏洞和大片大片的空白,那是许多地完全不熟悉的话题。然而,谢谢斯宾塞,他发现自己对于知识已有了一个总的轮廓。按照这个轮廓去填补材料只是时间的问题。邓时候你再看吧,他想——注意,暗礁!他感到自己仿佛是坐在教授脚边,满怀景仰地吸取着知识;但他也渐渐发现了对方判断中的漏洞——那漏洞闪烁不定,很难捉摸,若不是一直出现他是难于把捉到的。他终于把捉住了,一跃而上,与对方平起平坐了。

马丁开始谈话时,露丝第二次来到了他们身边。

“我要指出你的错误,或者说那削弱着你的判断的东西,”他说,“你缺少了生物学。你的体系之中没有生物学的地位。我指的是如实地诠释着生命的生物学,从基础开始,从实验室、试管和获得了生命的无机物开始直到美学和社会学的广泛结论的生物学。”

露丝感到惶恐。她曾听过考德威尔教授两n课,她崇拜他,是把他看作活的知识宝库的。

“我不太明白你的意思。”教授含糊地说。

马丁却多少觉得他其实明白他的意思。

“我来解释一下看,”他说,“我记得读埃及史的时候曾读到这样的意思:不光研究埃及的土地问题就无法研究埃及的艺术。”

“很对,”教授点点头。

“因此我似乎觉得,”马丁说下去,“既然在一切事物之中没有事先了解生命的本质和构成生命的元素就无法了解土地问题,那么,如果我们连创制法律、制度。宗教和风俗的生灵的本质和他的构成元素都不了解,又怎么能谈得上了解法律、制度、宗教和风俗本身呢?难道文学还不如埃及的建筑和雕刻更能反映人性么?在我们所知道的世界中有什么东西能不受进化规律的支配呢——啊,我知道,对于各种艺术的进化过程已经有人神精竭虑作过阐述,但我总觉得它们先于机械,把人本身漏掉了。对于工具、竖琴、音乐、歌曲和舞蹈的进化过程已有了美妙精彩的阐述,可对于人本身的进化过程呢?对创造出第一个工具和唱出第一首歌曲之前的人类本身的基本的、内在的部分的进比过程呢?你没有思考的正是这个东西,我把它叫做生物学——最广义的生物学。

“我知道我的阐述不够连贯,但我已经尽力表达了我的意思。那是在你谈话时我才想到的,因此考虑得不成熟,讲得也不清楚。你刚才谈到人的脆弱,因此无法考虑到所有的因素。于是你就漏掉了生物学这个因素——我觉得似乎是这样的——而所有的艺术却是依靠这个因素编织出来的,它是编织人类一切行为和成就的经纬线呢。”

令露丝大吃一惊的是,马丁的理论没有立即被粉碎,她觉得教授的回答宽容了马丁的不成熟。考德威尔教授摸弄着他的表链,一言不发,坐了足有一分钟。

“你知道不?”他终于说话了,“以前也有人这样批评过我——那是个非常伟大的人,一个科学家,进化论者,约瑟夫·勒孔特。他已经过世,我以为不会有人再发觉我这个问题了河你来了,揭露了我。不过,郑重地说,我承认错误,我认为你的意见是有道理的——实际上很有道理。我太古典,在解释性的学科分支方面我的知识已经落后。我只能以我所受到的不利教育和我拖沓的性格来做解释,是它们阻止了我。你相不相信我从来没有进过物理实验室和化学实验室?可那是事实。勒孔特说得不错,你也不错,伊登先生,至少在一定程度上不错——我有许多东西都不知道。”

露丝找了个借口拉走了马丁。她把他带到一边,悄悄说道:——

“你不应该像那样垄断了考德威尔教授。可能有别的人也想跟他谈话呢。”

“我错了,”马丁后悔了,承认,“可是你知道么?我激动了他,而他也很引起我的兴趣,于是我就忘了想到别人。他是我平生与之交谈过的最聪明、最育用头脑的人。我还要告诉你另一件事。我以前以为凡是上过大学或是处于社会上层的人都跟他一样有头脑,一样聪明呢。”

“他可是个非凡的人。”露丝回答。

“我也这么想。现在你要我跟谁谈话呢?——啊,对了,让我跟那个银行经理见一见面吧。”

马丁跟银行经理谈了大约十五分钟,露丝不可能要求她的情人态度更好了。他的眼睛从不闪光,面颊也从不泛红。他说话时的平静、稳重使她惊奇。但银行经理这类人在马丁的评价里却是一落千丈。那天晚上剩下的时间里他一直在跟一个印象作斗争:银行经理跟满D陈词滥调的人是同义语。他发现那个军官性情温和,单纯质朴,是个身体不错头脑也健全的小伙子,满足于家世和幸运在生活中分配给他的地位。在听说他也上过两年大学之后,马丁感到纳闷:他把大学学到的东西藏到哪儿去了?然而比起那位满口陈词滥调的银行经理马丁毕竟觉得他可爱得多.

“的确,我并不反对陈词滥调,”后来他告诉露丝,“可折磨得我受不了的是,他搬出那些陈词滥调时那神气十足、志得意满、高人一等的态度,和他所占用的时间。他用来告诉我统一劳工党跟民主党合并所花去的时间,我已经可以用来给他讲一部宗教改革史了。你知道么?他在字句上玩花头用去的时间跟职业赌徒拿手里的牌玩花头的时间差不多。有了时间我再跟你详谈吧。”

“我很抱歉你不喜欢他,”她回答,“他可是巴特勒先生的一个红火。巴特勒先生说他忠实可靠,坚如磐石,称他为‘彼得’,认为银行的一切机制只要建立在他身上便都牢实可靠。”

“从我在他身上所见到的那一点东西和我听见他说出的更少的东西看来,对此我并不怀疑;但我现在对银行的估价已经大不如前。我这样坦率奉告你不会介意吧?”

“不,不,挺有意思的。”

“那就好,”马丁快活地说下去,“这不过是我这个野蛮人第一次窥见文明世界时的印象。对于文明人来说我这种印象也一定有趣得惊人吧。”

“你对我的两个表姐妹作何感想?”露丝问道。

“比起其他的妇女我倒更喜欢她俩。两人都非常风趣,而且从不装腔作势。”

“那么你也喜欢别的女人么?”

他摇摇头。

“那位搞社会救济的妇女谈起社会问题来只会胡扯。我敢发誓,如果把她用明星(比如汤姆林森)的思想进行一番簸扬,她是一点独创的意见都没有的。至于肖像画家么,简直是个十足的讨厌鬼。她做银行经理的老婆倒也珠联壁合。对那位女音乐家,不管她那抬头有多灵活,技巧有多高明,表现又是多么美妙,我都没有兴趣——事实上她对音乐是一窍不通。”

“她演奏得很美妙的。”露丝反对。

“不错,她在音乐的外部表现上无疑操练有素,可对音乐的内在精神她却把捉不住。我问过她,音乐对她是什么意义——你知道我对这个特殊问题一向感兴趣;可她并不知道它对她有什么意义,只知道她崇拜音乐,音乐是最伟大的艺术,对于她比生命都重要。”

“你又让她们谈本行了。”露丝责备说。

“这我承认。不过可以想像,既然她们连本行都谈不出个道理来,谈别的可不更叫我头痛么?我一向以为这儿的人具有着文化上的一切优势,——”他暂时住了嘴,仿佛看到他年轻时那幻影戴着硬边大檐帽,穿着方襟短外衣进了门,大摇大摆地穿过了屋子。“我刚才说了,我以为在社会上层人们都是聪明睿智的,都闪着光芒。可现在,在我跟他们作了短暂的接触之后,他们给我的印象却是:大部分都是笨蛋,剩下的人中百分之九十都是讨厌鬼。只有考德威尔教授例外。他倒是个十足的人,每一寸都是的,他脑髓的灰白质里每一个原子都是的。”

露丝的脸闪出了光芒。

“谈谈他吧,”她怂恿他,“用不着谈他的长处和聪明,那我很清楚。谈谈反面的东西吧,我急着想听。”

“我也许会说不清楚,”马丁幽默地争辩了一下,“倒不如你先跟我说说他的问题。说不定你看他全身都是精华呢。”

“我听过他两门课,认识他已经两年;因此急于知道你对他的第一印象。”

“你是说坏印象?好了,是这样的。我估计他确实如你所想,具有一切优秀的品质,他至少属于我所遇见过的最优秀的知识分子之列,可他有一种秘密的耻辱感。

“啊,不,不!”他急忙叫道,“没有什么肮脏或粗俗的事。我的意思是他给我这样的印象:作为一个洞明世事的人,他害怕他所洞见到的情况,因此便假装没有看见。这种说法也许不清楚,可以换一个说法。他是这样的一个人,发现了通向隐秘的庙堂的路却没有沿着那路走下去。他可能瞥见了庙堂,事后却努力劝说自己:那不过是海市蜃楼中的绿洲而已。再换个说法,他原是个大有作为的人,却觉得那样做没有意义,而在内心深处又一直懊悔没有去做;他秘密地嘲笑那样做可能得到的回报,然而,更秘密的是,他也渴望着那回报和那么做时的欢乐。”

“我可不这么分析他,”她说,“我不明白你刚才这话的意思O”

“这只不过是我的一种模糊感觉,”马丁敷衍道,“提不出理由的。感觉而已,很可能是错的。你对他肯定应当比我更了解。”

马丁从露丝家的晚会带回的是奇怪的混乱和矛盾的感受。他达到了目的却失望了。为了跟那些人来往他往上爬,可一交往却失望了。另一方面他也为自己的胜利所鼓舞。他的攀登要比预期的容易。他超越了攀登,而且比高处的人们更优秀(对此他并不用虚伪的谦逊向自己掩饰)——当然考德威尔教授除外。无论讲生活还是讲书本马丁都比他们知道得多。他真不知道这些人把他们的教育扔到什么旮旯里去了。他并不知道自己的脑力特别强大,也不知道在世界上像莫尔斯家这样的客厅里是找不到献身于探索着事物的底奥和思考着终被问题的人的。他做梦也没有想到,那样的人有加孤独的雄鹰,只能独自翎翔在蔚蓝的天空里,远离开尘世和其间的扰攘纷坛的生活。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 28楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  28


But success had lost Martin's address, and her messengers no longer came to his door. For twenty-five days, working Sundays and holidays, he toiled on "The Shame of the Sun," a long essay of some thirty thousand words. It was a deliberate attack on the mysticism of the Maeterlinck school - an attack from the citadel of positive science upon the wonder-dreamers, but an attack nevertheless that retained much of beauty and wonder of the sort compatible with ascertained fact. It was a little later that he followed up the attack with two short essays, "The Wonder-Dreamers" and "The Yardstick of the Ego." And on essays, long and short, he began to pay the travelling expenses from magazine to magazine.




During the twenty-five days spent on "The Shame of the Sun," he sold hack-work to the extent of six dollars and fifty cents. A joke had brought in fifty cents, and a second one, sold to a high- grade comic weekly, had fetched a dollar. Then two humorous poems had earned two dollars and three dollars respectively. As a result, having exhausted his credit with the tradesmen (though he had increased his credit with the grocer to five dollars), his wheel and suit of clothes went back to the pawnbroker. The type- writer people were again clamoring for money, insistently pointing out that according to the agreement rent was to be paid strictly in advance.




Encouraged by his several small sales, Martin went back to hack- work. Perhaps there was a living in it, after all. Stored away under his table were the twenty storiettes which had been rejected by the newspaper short-story syndicate. He read them over in order to find out how not to write newspaper storiettes, and so doing, reasoned out the perfect formula. He found that the newspaper storiette should never be tragic, should never end unhappily, and should never contain beauty of language, subtlety of thought, nor real delicacy of sentiment. Sentiment it must contain, plenty of it, pure and noble, of the sort that in his own early youth had brought his applause from "nigger heaven" - the "For-God-my- country-and-the-Czar" and "I-may-be-poor-but-I-am-honest" brand of sentiment.




Having learned such precautions, Martin consulted "The Duchess" for tone, and proceeded to mix according to formula. The formula consists of three parts: (1) a pair of lovers are jarred apart; (2) by some deed or event they are reunited; (3) marriage bells. The third part was an unvarying quantity, but the first and second parts could be varied an infinite number of times. Thus, the pair of lovers could be jarred apart by misunderstood motives, by accident of fate, by jealous rivals, by irate parents, by crafty guardians, by scheming relatives, and so forth and so forth; they could be reunited by a brave deed of the man lover, by a similar deed of the woman lover, by change of heart in one lover or the other, by forced confession of crafty guardian, scheming relative, or jealous rival, by voluntary confession of same, by discovery of some unguessed secret, by lover storming girl's heart, by lover making long and noble self-sacrifice, and so on, endlessly. It was very fetching to make the girl propose in the course of being reunited, and Martin discovered, bit by bit, other decidedly piquant and fetching ruses. But marriage bells at the end was the one thing he could take no liberties with; though the heavens rolled up as a scroll and the stars fell, the wedding bells must go on ringing just the same. In quantity, the formula prescribed twelve hundred words minimum dose, fifteen hundred words maximum dose.




Before he got very far along in the art of the storiette, Martin worked out half a dozen stock forms, which he always consulted when constructing storiettes. These forms were like the cunning tables used by mathematicians, which may be entered from top, bottom, right, and left, which entrances consist of scores of lines and 
dozens of columns, and from which may be drawn, without reasoning or thinking, thousands of different conclusions, all unchallengably precise and true. Thus, in the course of half an hour with his forms, Martin could frame up a dozen or so storiettes, which he put aside and filled in at his convenience. He found that he could fill one in, after a day of serious work, in the hour before going to bed. As he later confessed to Ruth, he could almost do it in his sleep. The real work was in constructing the frames, and that was merely mechanical.




He had no doubt whatever of the efficacy of his formula, and for once he knew the editorial mind when he said positively to himself that the first two he sent off would bring checks. And checks they brought, for four dollars each, at the end of twelve days.




In the meantime he was making fresh and alarming discoveries concerning the magazines. Though the TRANSCONTINENTAL had published "The Ring of Bells," no check was forthcoming. Martin needed it, and he wrote for it. An evasive answer and a request for more of his work was all he received. He had gone hungry two days waiting for the reply, and it was then that he put his wheel back in pawn. He wrote regularly, twice a week, to the TRANSCONTINENTAL for his five dollars, though it was only semi- occasionally that he elicited a reply. He did not know that the TRANSCONTINENTAL had been staggering along precariously for years, that it was a fourth-rater, or tenth-rater, without standing, with a crazy circulation that partly rested on petty bullying and partly on patriotic appealing, and with advertisements that were scarcely more than charitable donations. Nor did he know that the TRANSCONTINENTAL was the sole livelihood of the editor and the business manager, and that they could wring their livelihood out of it only by moving to escape paying rent and by never paying any bill they could evade. Nor could he have guessed that the particular five dollars that belonged to him had been appropriated by the business manager for the painting of his house in Alameda, which painting he performed himself, on week-day afternoons, because he could not afford to pay union wages and because the first scab he had employed had had a ladder jerked out from under him and been sent to the hospital with a broken collar-bone.




The ten dollars for which Martin had sold "Treasure Hunters" to the Chicago newspaper did not come to hand. The article had been published, as he had ascertained at the file in the Central Reading-room, but no word could he get from the editor. His letters were ignored. To satisfy himself that they had been received, he registered several of them. It was nothing less than robbery, he concluded - a cold-blooded steal; while he starved, he was pilfered of his merchandise, of his goods, the sale of which was the sole way of getting bread to eat.




YOUTH AND AGE was a weekly, and it had published two-thirds of his twenty-one-thousand-word serial when it went out of business. With it went all hopes of getting his sixteen dollars.




To cap the situation, "The Pot," which he looked upon as one of the best things he had written, was lost to him. In despair, casting about frantically among the magazines, he had sent it to THE BILLOW, a society weekly in San Francisco. His chief reason for submitting it to that publication was that, having only to travel across the bay from Oakland, a quick decision could be reached. Two weeks later he was overjoyed to see, in the latest number on the news-stand, his story printed in full, illustrated, and in the place of honor. He went home with leaping pulse, wondering how much they would pay him for one of the best things he had done. Also, the celerity with which it had been accepted and published was a pleasant thought to him. That the editor had not informed him of the acceptance made the surprise more complete. After waiting a week, two weeks, and half a week longer, desperation conquered diffidence, and he wrote to the editor of THE BILLOW, suggesting that possibly through some negligence of the business manager his little account had been overlooked.




Even if it isn't more than five dollars, Martin thought to himself, it will buy enough beans and pea-soup to enable me to write half a dozen like it, and possibly as good.




Back came a cool letter from the editor that at least elicited Martin's admiration.




"We thank you," it ran, "for your excellent contribution. All of us in the office enjoyed it immensely, and, as you see, it was given the place of honor and immediate publication. We earnestly hope that you liked the illustrations.




"On rereading your letter it seems to us that you are laboring under the misapprehension that we pay for unsolicited manuscripts. This is not our custom, and of course yours was unsolicited. We assumed, naturally, when we received your story, that you understood the situation. We can only deeply regret this unfortunate misunderstanding, and assure you of our unfailing regard. Again, thanking you for your kind contribution, and hoping to receive more from you in the near future, we remain, etc."




There was also a postscript to the effect that though THE BILLOW carried no free-list, it took great pleasure in sending him a complimentary subscription for the ensuing year.




After that experience, Martin typed at the top of the first sheet of all his manuscripts: "Submitted at your usual rate."




Some day, he consoled himself, they will be submitted at MY usual rate.




He discovered in himself, at this period, a passion for perfection, under the sway of which he rewrote and polished "The Jostling Street," "The Wine of Life," "Joy," the "Sea Lyrics," and others of his earlier work. As of old, nineteen hours of labor a day was all too little to suit him. He wrote prodigiously, and he read prodigiously, forgetting in his toil the pangs caused by giving up his tobacco. Ruth's promised cure for the habit, flamboyantly labelled, he stowed away in the most inaccessible corner of his bureau. Especially during his stretches of famine he suffered from lack of the weed; but no matter how often he mastered the craving, it remained with him as strong as ever. He regarded it as the biggest thing he had ever achieved. Ruth's point of view was that he was doing no more than was right. She brought him the anti- tobacco remedy, purchased out of her glove money, and in a few days forgot all about it.




His machine-made storiettes, though he hated them and derided them, were successful. By means of them he redeemed all his pledges, paid most of his bills, and bought a new set of tires for his wheel. The storiettes at least kept the pot a-boiling and gave him time for ambitious work; while the one thing that upheld him was the forty dollars he had received from THE WHITE MOUSE. He anchored his faith to that, and was confident that the really first-class magazines would pay an unknown writer at least an equal rate, if not a better one. But the thing was, how to get into the first-class magazines. His best stories, essays, and poems went begging among them, and yet, each month, he read reams of dull, prosy, inartistic stuff between all their various covers. If only one editor, he sometimes thought, would descend from his high seat of pride to write me one cheering line! No matter if my work is unusual, no matter if it is unfit, for prudential reasons, for their pages, surely there must be some sparks in it, somewhere, a few, to warm them to some sort of appreciation. And thereupon he would get out one or another of his manuscripts, such as "Adventure," and read it over and over in a vain attempt to vindicate the editorial silence.




As the sweet California spring came on, his period of plenty came to an end. For several weeks he had been worried by a strange silence on the part of the newspaper storiette syndicate. Then, one day, came back to him through the mail ten of his immaculate machine-made storiettes. They were accompanied by a brief letter to the effect that the syndicate was overstocked, and that some months would elapse before it would be in the market again for manuscripts. Martin had even been extravagant m the strength of those on ten storiettes. Toward the last the syndicate had been paying him five dollars each for them and accepting every one he sent. So he had looked upon the ten as good as sold, and he had lived accordingly, on a basis of fifty dollars in the bank. So it was that he entered abruptly upon a lean period, wherein he continued selling his earlier efforts to publications that would not pay and submitting his later work to magazines that would not buy. Also, he resumed his trips to the pawn-broker down in Oakland. A few jokes and snatches of humorous verse, sold to the New York weeklies, made existence barely possible for him. It was at this time that he wrote letters of inquiry to the several great monthly and quarterly reviews, and learned in reply that they rarely considered unsolicited articles, and that most of their contents were written upon order by well-known specialists who were authorities in their various fields.
但是成功女神弄丢了马丁的地址,她的使者再也不上马丁的门了。他辛辛苦苦写了二十五天,完成了一篇专门攻击梅特林克的神秘主义学派的论文:《太阳的耻辱》,大约有三万字,假日和星期日也没有休息,从实证科学的高度抨击了奇迹梦想者,但并未波及与确切的科学事实并不矛盾的许多美感经验与奇迹。以后不久他又写了两篇短文:《奇迹梦想者》和《自我的尺度》,继续进行攻击。于是他又开始为论文付旅费,把它们往一家一家杂志寄出。

在写作《太阳的耻辱》的二十五天里,他的一些下锅之作又卖了六块五毛钱。一个笑话给了他五毛,另一篇投给一个高级滑稽周刊,赚来了一元,还有两首俏皮诗,分别得到两元和三元。结果是,在一些商家拒绝赊欠之后他的自行车和见客服装又回到当铺里去了,同时他在杂货铺的赊欠能力却提高到了五元。打字机店的人又在吵着要他交费了,说要严格照合同办事,要求预付租金。

几篇下锅之作卖掉,马丁受到鼓舞,又写起这类东西来。说不定可以靠它维持生活呢!报纸小故事供稿社退回的那二十来篇小故事还塞在桌子底下,他又翻出来读了一遍,想找出写作失败的原因。他从其中研究出了一个可靠的公式。他发现报纸小故事不能是悲剧,必须有大团圆结局;语言不必美,思想不必细致,感情也不必微妙,但一定要有感情,而且要丰富,要纯洁高贵,要是他少年时在剧院廉价座位上为之大喝其彩的那种感情——那种“为了上帝、祖国和国王”的感情,“穷归穷,要穷得志气”的感情。

有了这些必备知识,马丁又参考了《公爵夫人》杂志,学着它的调子,按照药方如法炮制,那药方包含三个部分:(1)一对情人生生被拆散;(2)两人因某一行为或事件而言归于好;(3)婚礼钟声。第三部分是一个不变量,第一、二部分可以变化无穷。比如两人拆散的原因可以是对对方动机的误解;可以是命运的意外;可以是妒忌;可以是父母的反对,监护人的狡猾,亲戚的干扰,如此等等。两人的团圆可以是由于男方的英勇行为;女方的英勇行为;一方的回心转意;狡猾的监护人或蓄意破坏的亲戚或情敌被迫承认错误;某种意外机密的发现;男方激动了女方的感情;情人做了长期的高贵的自我牺牲,或诸如此类,可以变化无穷。在双方团圆的过程中由女方追求更为动人,马丁一点一滴地发现了许多能吊人胃口、引人入胜的窍门;但结尾时的婚礼钟声是绝对不能更改的,哪怕天空像卷轴一样卷了起来,星星漫天散落,婚礼的钟声也必须响起。这个公式是写一千二百到一千五百字的小故事的诀窍。

研究小故事写作技巧后不久,马丁搞出了华打固定的模式,常常用来作编写参考。这些模式像巧妙的数学表格,可以从上面、下面。左面。右面切入,每道人口都有几十个横栏,几十个坚栏,从这些表格里不需要思考或推理就可以推导出千千万万不同的结果,每一个结果都准确可靠,经得起推敲。这样,使用了他的表格,不要半个小时便可以勾勒出几十个小故事的轮廓。他把它们放到一边,等那天严肃的工作结束,要上床了,闲空了,再填充完成。后来他还向露丝坦白,说他几乎连睡着了也能写出那样的东西来。真正的工作是设计轮廓;而设计轮廓是机械的工作。

他毫不怀疑他那公式的效率。这时他第一次明白了编辑的心理。他对自己肯定说他寄出去的头两篇作品准会带给他支票。果然,十二天之后支票来了,每篇四元。

与此同时他还对杂志有了惊人的新发现。《跨越大陆》虽然发表了他的《钟声激越》,却老不寄支票来。马丁需要钱,写信去问,回信却避而不谈,反而要他寄别的作品。因为等回信他已经饿了两天肚子,只好把自行车也送进了当铺。尽管回信很少,他每月仍固定发两封信,向《跨越大陆》讨那五块钱。他并不知道《跨越大陆》已经多年风雨飘摇,是个四流杂志,十流杂志,没有根基,发行量很不稳定,部分地靠小小的恐吓,部分地靠爱国情绪和几乎是施舍性的广告维持。他也不知道《跨越大陆》是编辑和经理的唯一饭碗,而他们挤出生活费用的办法就是搬家以逃避房租和躲掉一切躲得掉的开支。他也不知道他那五块钱早给经理挪用去油漆他在阿拉密达的房子了——那是利用上班日的下午自己油漆的,因为他付不起工会所规定的工资,也因为他雇佣的第一个不按规定要价的工人从梯子上掉下来,摔断了肩胛骨,送进了医院。

马丁·伊登卖给芝加哥新闻的《探宝者》的稿酬也没有到手。他在中央阅览室的文件里查明,作品已经发了,但是编辑一个字也没有写给他。他写信去问,仍然没有人理。为了肯定他的信已经收到,他把几封信寄了挂号。他的结论是:对方的做法简直就是抢劫——冷血的强盗。他在挨饿,而他们却还偷他的东西,抢他的货物——而卖货物换面包是他唯一的生路。

《青年与时代》是一个周刊,发表了他那二万一千字的连载故事的三分之二便倒闭了,得到那十六块钱的希望也就随之破灭。

最糟糕的是,他自认为是最佳作品之一的《罐子》也失掉了。原来他在绝望中,气急败坏地向各杂志乱投递时,把它寄给了旧金山的社交周刊《波涛》。他那样寄,是因为从奥克兰只需要过了海湾就能到达,很快就可以得到回音。两周以后他却喜出望外地在报摊发现:他的作品全文刊载在那个杂志最新一期的显要位置,而且配了插图。他心里怦怦跳着回到家里,盘算着他这最好的作品能得到多少报酬。那作品接受很快,出版迅速,令他很高兴。编辑们连通知都没来得及便发表了,这份惊喜更让他踌躇满志。他等待了一周,两周,又等待了半周,铤而走险战胜了胆小畏怯,他给《波涛》的编辑写了一封信,暗示说也许业务经理出于大意,把他那笔帐忽略了。

他想,即使不到五块钱,也还能买到足够的黄豆和豌豆熬汤,让他再写出六七篇那样的作品,说不定跟那一篇同样好呢。

编辑回了一封冷冰冰的信,可它至少也能令马丁佩服。

那信说:“尊稿早收到。谨谢赐稿,我部同人对该稿皆至为欣赏,并立即以显要地位刊登,想早奉清览。其插图谅能邀先生青睐。

“拜读来翰,先生似有所误会,以为我处对未约写之稿亦付稿酬。按,我处实无此规定,而尊稿显然未经约写,此事收稿时以为先生所素知也。对此不幸误会,同仁等深以为憾,谨对先生再申敬佩之忱,并致谢意。短期内如能再赐大作则更幸甚,专此奉复……”

下面还有一则附言,说《波涛》虽不赠阅,仍很乐意免费赠送一年。

有了那次经验,马丁便在他每一篇手稿的第一页上注明:“请按贵刊常规付酬。”

有时他自我安慰说:总有一天会按我的常规付酬的。

这个阶段他发现自己有了一种追求完美的热情。在那种情绪支配之下,他修改了、润色了他早期写作的《扰攘的街道》、《生命之酒》、《欢乐》、《海上抒情诗》和一些别的作品。他仍然跟过去一样,不要命地写作和读书;一天工作十九小时还嫌不够;在百忙之中连戒烟的痛苦也忘掉了。露丝带来的包装花哨的戒烟药被他塞到了抽屉最偏僻的角落里。在饥饿的时候,他尤其想抽烟,想得难受;无论多少次忍住烟瘾,那瘾总跟过去一样,十分强烈。他把戒烟认为是他最大的成就,可露丝却只觉得他不过做了件本该做的事而已。她给他带来了用自己的军用钱买的戒烟药,过两天就忘记了。

他那些机械制造的小故事倒很成功,尽管为他所不喜欢,也瞧不起。它们给他赎回了当掉的东西,偿付了大部分欠债,给他的自行车买了一副新轮胎,还使他免于断炊之虞,给了他时间写作雄心勃勃的作品。不过给了他信心的仍然是《白鼠》带给他的那四十元,那是他的信念之所寄托。他相信真正的第一流杂志是会给予一个无名作家同样的稿酬的,即使不能更多。问题在怎样打进第一流杂志。他最好的小说。论文和诗歌都在那些杂志间沿门乞讨;而他每个月都要在那些杂志不同的封面与封底之间读到无数篇沉闷、乏味、没有艺术性的玩意。他有时想:哪怕有一个编辑从他那傲慢的高位上给我写来一行鼓励的话也是好的。即使我的作品和别的作品不同,不够谨慎,不合需要,不能刊用,可其中总还有某些地方能闪出一星星火花,让他们温暖,博得他们一丝赞赏的吧!这样一想他又拿出自己的稿子,比如《冒险》,反复地研读起来,想探索出编辑们一直沉默的道理。

加利福尼亚州芬芳馥郁的春天到来了,可他的宽裕日子却结束了。很奇怪,报纸小故事供应社一连几个星期默不作声,令他十分烦恼。然后有一天邮局送回了他十篇机械制造的、天衣无缝的小故事。还附了一封简短的信,大意是供应社稿挤,几个月之内不会再接受外搞。可马丁却早已仗恃那十篇小故事过起了阔绰的生活。到最近为止,协会对他的稿子一直是每篇五元,来者不拒的,因此他便把那十个故事当作已经卖掉,仿佛在银行已有了五十元存款,并据此安排了生活。这样,他便于突然之间堕入了一段困顿,在这段时间里他老向那些并不付酬的报刊兜售他早期的作品,向那些并不想买他稿子的杂志兜售他近来的作品。同时他又开始到奥克兰上当铺了。卖给纽约几家周刊的几个笑话和几首俏皮诗使他得以苟延残喘。他在这个时期内向几家大型月刊和季刊发出了询问信,得到的回信是,它们很少考虑接受外搞,它们的大部分内容都是约稿,作者都是有名的专家,在各自领域里的权威。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  29


It was a hard summer for Martin. Manuscript readers and editors were away on vacation, and publications that ordinarily returned a decision in three weeks now retained his manuscript for three months or more. The consolation he drew from it was that a saving in postage was effected by the deadlock. Only the robber- publications seemed to remain actively in business, and to them Martin disposed of all his early efforts, such as "Pearl-diving," "The Sea as a Career," "Turtle-catching," and "The Northeast Trades." For these manuscripts he never received a penny. It is true, after six months' correspondence, he effected a compromise, whereby he received a safety razor for "Turtle-catching," and that THE ACROPOLIS, having agreed to give him five dollars cash and five yearly subscriptions: for "The Northeast Trades," fulfilled the second part of the agreement.




For a sonnet on Stevenson he managed to wring two dollars out of a Boston editor who was running a magazine with a Matthew Arnold taste and a penny-dreadful purse. "The Peri and the Pearl," a clever skit of a poem of two hundred lines, just finished, white hot from his brain, won the heart of the editor of a San Francisco magazine published in the interest of a great railroad. When the editor wrote, offering him payment in transportation, Martin wrote back to inquire if the transportation was transferable. It was not, and so, being prevented from peddling it, he asked for the return of the poem. Back it came, with the editor's regrets, and Martin sent it to San Francisco again, this time to THE HORNET, a pretentious monthly that had been fanned into a constellation of the first magnitude by the brilliant journalist who founded it. But THE HORNET'S light had begun to dim long before Martin was born. The editor promised Martin fifteen dollars for the poem, but, when it was published, seemed to forget about it. Several of his letters being ignored, Martin indicted an angry one which drew a reply. It was written by a new editor, who coolly informed Martin that he declined to be held responsible for the old editor's mistakes, and that he did not think much of "The Peri and the Pearl" anyway.




But THE GLOBE, a Chicago magazine, gave Martin the most cruel treatment of all. He had refrained from offering his "Sea Lyrics" for publication, until driven to it by starvation. After having been rejected by a dozen magazines, they had come to rest in THE GLOBE office. There were thirty poems in the collection, and he was to receive a dollar apiece for them. The first month four were published, and he promptly received a cheek for four dollars; but when he looked over the magazine, he was appalled at the slaughter. In some cases the titles had been altered: "Finis," for instance, being changed to "The Finish," and "The Song of the Outer Reef" to "The Song of the Coral Reef." In one case, an absolutely different title, a misappropriate title, was substituted. In place of his own, "Medusa Lights," the editor had printed, "The Backward Track." But the slaughter in the body of the poems was terrifying. Martin groaned and sweated and thrust his hands through his hair. Phrases, lines, and stanzas were cut out, interchanged, or juggled about in the most incomprehensible manner. Sometimes lines and stanzas not his own were substituted for his. He could not believe that a sane editor could be guilty of such maltreatment, and his favorite hypothesis was that his poems must have been doctored by the office boy or the stenographer. Martin wrote immediately, begging the editor to cease publishing the lyrics and to return them to him.




He wrote again and again, begging, entreating, threatening, but his letters were ignored. Month by month the slaughter went on till the thirty poems were published, and month by month he received a check for those which had appeared in the current number.




Despite these various misadventures, the memory of the WHITE MOUSE forty-dollar check sustained him, though he was driven more and more to hack-work. He discovered a bread-and-butter field in the agricultural weeklies and trade journals, though among the religious weeklies he found he could easily starve. At his lowest ebb, when his black suit was in pawn, he made a ten-strike - or so it seemed to him - in a prize contest arranged by the County Committee of the Republican Party. There were three branches of the contest, and he entered them all, laughing at himself bitterly the while in that he was driven to such straits to live. His poem won the first prize of ten dollars, his campaign song the second prize of five dollars, his essay on the principles of the Republican Party the first prize of twenty-five dollars. Which was very gratifying to him until he tried to collect. Something had gone wrong in the County Committee, and, though a rich banker and a state senator were members of it, the money was not forthcoming. While this affair was hanging fire, he proved that he understood the principles of the Democratic Party by winning the first prize for his essay in a similar contest. And, moreover, he received the money, twenty-five dollars. But the forty dollars won in the first contest he never received.




Driven to shifts in order to see Ruth, and deciding that the long walk from north Oakland to her house and back again consumed too much time, he kept his black suit in pawn in place of his bicycle. The latter gave him exercise, saved him hours of time for work, and enabled him to see Ruth just the same. A pair of knee duck trousers and an old sweater made him a presentable wheel costume, so that he could go with Ruth on afternoon rides. Besides, he no longer had opportunity to see much of her in her own home, where Mrs. Morse was thoroughly prosecuting her campaign of entertainment. The exalted beings he met there, and to whom he had looked up but a short time before, now bored him. They were no longer exalted. He was nervous and irritable, what of his hard times, disappointments, and close application to work, and the conversation of such people was maddening. He was not unduly egotistic. He measured the narrowness of their minds by the minds of the thinkers in the books he read. At Ruth's home he never met a large mind, with the exception of Professor Caldwell, and Caldwell he had met there only once. As for the rest, they were numskulls, ninnies, superficial, dogmatic, and ignorant. It was their ignorance that astounded him. What was the matter with them? What had they done with their educations? They had had access to the same books he had. How did it happen that they had drawn nothing from them?




He knew that the great minds, the deep and rational thinkers, existed. He had his proofs from the books, the books that had educated him beyond the Morse standard. And he knew that higher intellects than those of the Morse circle were to be found in the world. He read English society novels, wherein he caught glimpses of men and women talking politics and philosophy. And he read of salons in great cities, even in the United States, where art and intellect congregated. Foolishly, in the past, he had conceived that all well-groomed persons above the working class were persons with power of intellect and vigor of beauty. Culture and collars had gone together, to him, and he had been deceived into believing that college educations and mastery were the same things.




Well, he would fight his way on and up higher. And he would take Ruth with him. Her he dearly loved, and he was confident that she would shine anywhere. As it was clear to him that he had been handicapped by his early environment, so now he perceived that she was similarly handicapped. She had not had a chance to expand. The books on her father's shelves, the paintings on the walls, the music on the piano - all was just so much meretricious display. To real literature, real painting, real music, the Morses and their kind, were dead. And bigger than such things was life, of which they were densely, hopelessly ignorant. In spite of their Unitarian proclivities and their masks of conservative broadmindedness, they were two generations behind interpretative science: their mental processes were mediaeval, while their thinking on the ultimate data of existence and of the universe struck him as the same metaphysical method that was as young as the youngest race, as old as the cave-man, and older - the same that moved the first Pleistocene ape-man to fear the dark; that moved the first hasty Hebrew savage to incarnate Eve from Adam's rib; that moved Descartes to build an idealistic system of the universe out of the projections of his own puny ego; and that moved the famous British ecclesiastic to denounce evolution in satire so scathing as to win immediate applause and leave his name a notorious scrawl on the page of history.




So Martin thought, and he thought further, till it dawned upon him that the difference between these lawyers, officers, business men, and bank cashiers he had met and the members of the working class he had known was on a par with the difference in the food they ate, clothes they wore, neighborhoods in which they lived. Certainly, in all of them was lacking the something more which he found in himself and in the books. The Morses had shown him the best their social position could produce, and he was not impressed by it. A pauper himself, a slave to the money-lender, he knew himself the superior of those he met at the Morses'; and, when his one decent suit of clothes was out of pawn, he moved among them a lord of life, quivering with a sense of outrage akin to what a prince would suffer if condemned to live with goat-herds.




"You hate and fear the socialists," he remarked to Mr. Morse, one evening at dinner; "but why? You know neither them nor their doctrines."




The conversation had been swung in that direction by Mrs. Morse, who had been invidiously singing the praises of Mr. Hapgood. The cashier was Martin's black beast, and his temper was a trifle short where the talker of platitudes was concerned.




"Yes," he had said, "Charley Hapgood is what they call a rising young man - somebody told me as much. And it is true. He'll make the Governor's Chair before he dies, and, who knows? maybe the United States Senate."




"What makes you think so?" Mrs. Morse had inquired.




"I've heard him make a campaign speech. It was so cleverly stupid and unoriginal, and also so convincing, that the leaders cannot help but regard him as safe and sure, while his platitudes are so much like the platitudes of the average voter that - oh, well, you know you flatter any man by dressing up his own thoughts for him and presenting them to him."




"I actually think you are jealous of Mr. Hapgood," Ruth had chimed in.




"Heaven forbid!"




The look of horror on Martin's face stirred Mrs. Morse to belligerence.




"You surely don't mean to say that Mr. Hapgood is stupid?" she demanded icily.




"No more than the average Republican," was the retort, "or average Democrat, either. They are all stupid when they are not crafty, and very few of them are crafty. The only wise Republicans are the millionnaires and their conscious henchmen. They know which side their bread is buttered on, and they know why."




"I am a Republican," Mr. Morse put in lightly. "Pray, how do you classify me?"




"Oh, you are an unconscious henchman."




"Henchman?"




"Why, yes. You do corporation work. You have no working-class nor criminal practice. You don't depend upon wife-beaters and pickpockets for your income. You get your livelihood from the masters of society, and whoever feeds a man is that man's master. Yes, you are a henchman. You are interested in advancing the interests of the aggregations of capital you serve."




Mr. Morse's face was a trifle red.




"I confess, sir," he said, "that you talk like a scoundrelly socialist."




Then it was that Martin made his remark:




"You hate and fear the socialists; but why? You know neither them nor their doctrines."




"Your doctrine certainly sounds like socialism," Mr. Morse replied, while Ruth gazed anxiously from one to the other, and Mrs. Morse beamed happily at the opportunity afforded of rousing her liege lord's antagonism.




"Because I say Republicans are stupid, and hold that liberty, equality, and fraternity are exploded bubbles, does not make me a socialist," Martin said with a smile. "Because I question Jefferson and the unscientific Frenchmen who informed his mind, does not make me a socialist. Believe me, Mr. Morse, you are far nearer socialism than I who am its avowed enemy."




"Now you please to be facetious," was all the other could say.




"Not at all. I speak in all seriousness. You still believe in equality, and yet you do the work of the corporations, and the corporations, from day to day, are busily engaged in burying equality. And you call me a socialist because I deny equality, because I affirm just what you live up to. The Republicans are foes to equality, though most of them fight the battle against equality with the very word itself the slogan on their lips. In the name of equality they destroy equality. That was why I called them stupid. As for myself, I am an individualist. I believe the race is to the swift, the battle to the strong. Such is the lesson I have learned from biology, or at least think I have learned. As I said, I am an individualist, and individualism is the hereditary and eternal foe of socialism."




"But you frequent socialist meetings," Mr. Morse challenged.




"Certainly, just as spies frequent hostile camps. How else are you to learn about the enemy? Besides, I enjoy myself at their meetings. They are good fighters, and, right or wrong, they have read the books. Any one of them knows far more about sociology and all the other ologies than the average captain of industry. Yes, I have been to half a dozen of their meetings, but that doesn't make me a socialist any more than hearing Charley Hapgood orate made me a Republican."




"I can't help it," Mr. Morse said feebly, "but I still believe you incline that way."




Bless me, Martin thought to himself, he doesn't know what I was talking about. He hasn't understood a word of it. What did he do with his education, anyway?




Thus, in his development, Martin found himself face to face with economic morality, or the morality of class; and soon it became to him a grisly monster. Personally, he was an intellectual moralist, and more offending to him than platitudinous pomposity was the morality of those about him, which was a curious hotchpotch of the economic, the metaphysical, the sentimental, and the imitative.




A sample of this curious messy mixture he encountered nearer home. His sister Marian had been keeping company with an industrious young mechanic, of German extraction, who, after thoroughly learning the trade, had set up for himself in a bicycle-repair shop. Also, having got the agency for a low-grade make of wheel, he was prosperous. Marian had called on Martin in his room a short time before to announce her engagement, during which visit she had playfully inspected Martin's palm and told his fortune. On her next visit she brought Hermann von Schmidt along with her. Martin did the honors and congratulated both of them in language so easy and graceful as to affect disagreeably the peasant-mind of his sister's lover. This bad impression was further heightened by Martin's reading aloud the half-dozen stanzas of verse with which he had commemorated Marian's previous visit. It was a bit of society verse, airy and delicate, which he had named "The Palmist." He was surprised, when he finished reading it, to note no enjoyment in his sister's face. Instead, her eyes were fixed anxiously upon her betrothed, and Martin, following her gaze, saw spread on that worthy's asymmetrical features nothing but black and sullen disapproval. The incident passed over, they made an early departure, and Martin forgot all about it, though for the moment he had been puzzled that any woman, even of the working class, should not have been flattered and delighted by having poetry written about her.




Several evenings later Marian again visited him, this time alone. Nor did she waste time in coming to the point, upbraiding him sorrowfully for what he had done.




"Why, Marian," he chided, "you talk as though you were ashamed of your relatives, or of your brother at any rate."




"And I am, too," she blurted out.




Martin was bewildered by the tears of mortification he saw in her eyes. The mood, whatever it was, was genuine.




"But, Marian, why should your Hermann be jealous of my writing poetry about my own sister?"




"He ain't jealous," she sobbed. "He says it was indecent, ob - obscene."




Martin emitted a long, low whistle of incredulity, then proceeded to resurrect and read a carbon copy of "The Palmist."




"I can't see it," he said finally, proffering the manuscript to her. "Read it yourself and show me whatever strikes you as obscene - that was the word, wasn't it?"




"He says so, and he ought to know," was the answer, with a wave aside of the manuscript, accompanied by a look of loathing. "And he says you've got to tear it up. He says he won't have no wife of his with such things written about her which anybody can read. He says it's a disgrace, an' he won't stand for it."




"Now, look here, Marian, this is nothing but nonsense," Martin began; then abruptly changed his mind.




He saw before him an unhappy girl, knew the futility of attempting to convince her husband or her, and, though the whole situation was absurd and preposterous, he resolved to surrender.




"All right," he announced, tearing the manuscript into half a dozen pieces and throwing it into the waste-basket.




He contented himself with the knowledge that even then the original type-written manuscript was reposing in the office of a New York magazine. Marian and her husband would never know, and neither himself nor they nor the world would lose if the pretty, harmless poem ever were published.




Marian, starting to reach into the waste-basket, refrained.




"Can I?" she pleaded.




He nodded his head, regarding her thoughtfully as she gathered the torn pieces of manuscript and tucked them into the pocket of her jacket - ocular evidence of the success of her mission. She reminded him of Lizzie Connolly, though there was less of fire and gorgeous flaunting life in her than in that other girl of the working class whom he had seen twice. But they were on a par, the pair of them, in dress and carriage, and he smiled with inward amusement at the caprice of his fancy which suggested the appearance of either of them in Mrs. Morse's drawing-room. The amusement faded, and he was aware of a great loneliness. This sister of his and the Morse drawing-room were milestones of the road he had travelled. And he had left them behind. He glanced affectionately about him at his few books. They were all the comrades left to him.




"Hello, what's that?" he demanded in startled surprise.




Marian repeated her question.




"Why don't I go to work?" He broke into a laugh that was only half-hearted. "That Hermann of yours has been talking to you."




She shook her head.




"Don't lie," he commanded, and the nod of her head affirmed his charge.




"Well, you tell that Hermann of yours to mind his own business; that when I write poetry about the girl he's keeping company with it's his business, but that outside of that he's got no say so. Understand?




"So you don't think I'll succeed as a writer, eh?" he went on. "You think I'm no good? - that I've fallen down and am a disgrace to the family?"




"I think it would be much better if you got a job," she said firmly, and he saw she was sincere. "Hermann says - "




"Damn Hermann!" he broke out good-naturedly. "What I want to know is when you're going to get married. Also, you find out from your Hermann if he will deign to permit you to accept a wedding present from me."




He mused over the incident after she had gone, and once or twice broke out into laughter that was bitter as he saw his sister and her betrothed, all the members of his own class and the members of Ruth's class, directing their narrow little lives by narrow little formulas - herd-creatures, flocking together and patterning their lives by one another's opinions, failing of being individuals and of really living life because of the childlike formulas by which they were enslaved. He summoned them before him in apparitional procession: Bernard Higginbotham arm in arm with Mr. Butler, Hermann von Schmidt cheek by jowl with Charley Hapgood, and one by one and in pairs he judged them and dismissed them - judged them by the standards of intellect and morality he had learned from the books. Vainly he asked: Where are the great souls, the great men and women? He found them not among the careless, gross, and stupid intelligences that answered the call of vision to his narrow room. He felt a loathing for them such as Circe must have felt for her swine. When he had dismissed the last one and thought himself alone, a late-comer entered, unexpected and unsummoned. Martin watched him and saw the stiff-rim, the square-cut, double-breasted coat and the swaggering shoulders, of the youthful hoodlum who had once been he.




"You were like all the rest, young fellow," Martin sneered. "Your morality and your knowledge were just the same as theirs. You did not think and act for yourself. Your opinions, like your clothes, were ready made; your acts were shaped by popular approval. You were cock of your gang because others acclaimed you the real thing. You fought and ruled the gang, not because you liked to, - you know you really despised it, - but because the other fellows patted you on the shoulder. You licked Cheese-Face because you wouldn't give in, and you wouldn't give in partly because you were an abysmal brute and for the rest because you believed what every one about you believed, that the measure of manhood was the carnivorous ferocity displayed in injuring and marring fellow-creatures' anatomies. Why, you whelp, you even won other fellows' girls away from them, not because you wanted the girls, but because in the marrow of those about you, those who set your moral pace, was the instinct of the wild stallion and the bull-seal. Well, the years have passed, and what do you think about it now?"




As if in reply, the vision underwent a swift metamorphosis. The stiff-rim and the square-cut vanished, being replaced by milder garments; the toughness went out of the face, the hardness out of the eyes; and, the face, chastened and refined, was irradiated from an inner life of communion with beauty and knowledge. The apparition was very like his present self, and, as he regarded it, he noted the student-lamp by which it was illuminated, and the book over which it pored. He glanced at the title and read, "The Science of AEsthetics." Next, he entered into the apparition, trimmed the student-lamp, and himself went on reading "The Science of AEsthetics."
那个夏天马丁过得很艰难。审稿人和编辑们都放假走掉了。报刊杂志平时三个礼拜就能回信,现在一拖三个月,有时更久。他感到安慰的是邮费倒是因为这僵局而省掉了。出版仍然活跃的是那些强盗报刊。马丁把他早期的作品如《潜水采珠》、《海上生涯》、《捕鳖》、《东北季候风》全寄给了它们,没有从这些稿子得到分文稿酬。不过,在六个月书信往返之后他取得了一项折中:从《捕鳖》得到了一把刮胡刀;刊登他的《东北季候风》的《卫城》则同意给他五元现金和五年赠阅——后来只执行了协议的第二部分。

他把一首咏史蒂文森的十四行诗卖给了波士顿一个编辑,从那儿挤出了两元钱。那编辑办的杂志虽饶有马修·阿诺德风格,钱袋子却攥得极紧。他新写成的一首二百行的巧妙的讽刺诗《仙女与珍珠》,刚从脑子里热腾腾出笼,得到了旧金山一家杂志编辑的青睐。那杂志是为一条大铁路办的。杂志编辑写信问他是否可以用免费乘车证代替稿费,他回信问那乘车证可否转让,回答是不能转让。既然不能转让他只好要求退稿。稿子退了回来,编辑表示遗憾,马丁又把它寄到旧金山,给了《大黄蜂》,一家神气十足的杂志,是一个精明的报人一手创办并吹嘘成最辉煌的明星杂志的。但是《大黄蜂》的光芒在马丁出世以前早已暗淡。编辑同意给马丁十五元钱买那首诗,不过在刊出之后却似乎忘了寄稿费的事。马丁去了几封信都没有回音,便写去了一封措辞尖刻的信,算是引来了回答。那是一个新任编辑写的,冷冰冰地告诉马丁他不能对他前任编辑的错误负责。而且他认为《仙女与珍珠》也并不怎么样。

但是给予马丁最残酷打击的却是一家芝加哥的杂志《环球》。马丁一直不肯把他的《海上抒情诗》送出去发表,实在是因为太饿才终于改变了初衷。在遭到十多家杂志拒绝之后,那稿子来到了《环球》的办公室。那集子里一共有三十首诗,一首诗能给他一块钱。第一个月发表了四首,他立即得到了四块钱支票。但是一看杂志,他却为那屠杀式的窜改气得发疯。连标题都改了,《结局》给改成了《完》;《外礁之歌》给改成了《珊瑚礁之歌》;还有一处标题改得文不对题,《美杜莎的目光》被改成了《倒退的轨迹》。诗歌本身的胡涂乱改更是可怕。马丁嗷嗷叫着,满身冷汗,揪着头发。用词、诗行和小节都被莫名其妙地划掉了、交换了、颠倒了、混淆了。有时又凭空飞来些诗节,代替了他的原作。他很难相信一个头脑清醒的编辑竟会这样横行霸道。若是说那诗是叫一个跑街小厮或是速记员动了手术,他倒比较相信。马丁立即去信请求原诗退回,别再发表。他一封又一封地写信,要求,央告,乞请,威胁,都没有回音。那蹂躏屠杀一个月一个月地继续下去,直到他的三十首诗一一发表完毕。支票倒是每月作品一发就寄来的。

尽管有这些倒霉的事,关于《白鼠》的那四十元支票的记忆仍然支持着他,只是他不得不越来越多地写下锅之作。他在农业周刊和行业刊物里找到了奶油面包,也发现靠宗教周刊容易饿饭。在他最倒霉、连那套黑色礼服也进了当辅以后,却在共和党县委组织的一次有奖比赛里得了个满分——或者是自以为如此。竞赛分作三项,他全参加了——他不禁对自己苦笑,竟弄到了这种山穷水尽的地步!他的诗歌得了一等奖,十元;他的竞选歌曲得了二等奖,五元;他的论述共和党原则的论文得了一等奖,二十五元。这叫他心满意足,可到他去领奖时才发现还有问题。原来县委内部出了差错,尽管县委里有一个有钱的银行家和一个州参议员,奖金却迟迟没有发了来。这个问题还悬而未决,他又在另一项论文竞赛里得了个一等奖,不但证明了自己也懂得民主党的原则,而且到手了二十五元奖金。不过共和党竞赛的那四十元却泡了汤。

他不得不设计和露丝见面的办法。考虑到从北奥克兰步行到露丝家再走回来路程太远,他决定把黑色礼服送进了当铺,以保留自行车。自行车照样能让他跟露丝见面,却又能锻炼身材,而且能省下时间来工作。他只须穿上一条细帆布齐膝短裤和一件旧毛线衣,也能算有了过得去的骑车装,下午便能够和露丝一起骑车兜风了。而且,他在她家里见到她的机会也不多,因为莫尔斯太太正全力以赴推行她的请客计划。他在那儿见到的不久前还叫他莫测高深的上流人士现在已叫他生厌。他们再也不神气了。他因为自己日子过得艰难,屡遭挫折,工作又太辛苦,本来就敏感易怒,而他们的谈吐又总惹他生气。他的这种自满未始没有道理。他用自己在书上读到的思想家作尺度来衡量那些人狭隘的心灵,除却考德威尔教授以外,他在露丝家就没有遇见过一个心灵博大的人,而考德威尔教授他也只见过一次。其他的人全都是些蠢材,笨蛋,又浅薄,又武断,又无知。最叫他吃惊的是他们的无知。他们是怎么了?他们受过的教育到哪儿去了?他读过的书他们都是读过的,可是为什么他们从那些书里就什么都没有学到?

他知道世界上确实有博大的心灵和深沉合理的思想。这是他从书本上验证过的。那些书本给他的教育超过了莫尔斯家的标准。他也明白世上有高于莫尔斯圈子的聪明才智。他阅读英国的社交小说,在其中瞥见过一些讨论政治和哲学的绅士淑女。他也读到过大都会里的沙龙,艺术和聪明都在那里会集,而这种沙龙美国也有。他过去曾愚昧地以为:高踞于工人阶级以上的衣冠楚楚的人们全都智慧过人,情操优美。他曾以为文化总伴随着白领;他曾受过骗,以为大学教育就是博学多才。

是的,他要奋斗,要向上,还要把露丝留在身边。他对她一往情深,深信她所到之处都一路光辉。他明白自己少时的环境限制过自己;也明白露丝的环境也会限制她。她没有发展的机会。她父亲架上的书、墙上的画和钢琴上的乐曲至多也不过是些平庸的装饰。莫尔斯一家和类似的人对真正的文学、绘画和音乐全都迟钝,而生活却比那一切宏伟多了。他们对生活愚昧得无可救药。尽管他们倾向于唯一神教,戴了一副具有保守开明思想的面具,实际上他们已落后于解释世界的科学两代之久。他们的思想还处在中世纪阶段。同时,他也感到,他们看待生命和宇宙的终极事实的方法还是形而上学的,那种看法阻地球上最年轻的种族的看法一样幼稚;也跟穴居人的看法一样古老,甚至更古老——那看法使第一个更新世的猿人害怕黑暗;使第一个匆促的希伯来野蛮人用亚当的肋骨造成了夏娃;使笛卡尔通过反射渺小的自我建立了唯心主义的宇宙体系;使那有名的英格兰传教士用尖刻的讽刺来谴责进化论,并立即博得了喝彩,从而在历史的篇章里草草留下了一个臭名。

马丁想着,又想了开去。他终于明白过来,他所见过的这些律师。军官、商人和银行经理跟他所认识的工人阶级成员们之间的差异是跟他们的食物、服装和人事环境一致的。他们每个人都肯定缺少了某种东西,而那东西他在书本里和自己具上已经找到。莫尔斯一家向他展示了他们的社会地位所能提供的最佳事物,可他并不觉得那些事物有什么了不起。他一贫如洗,成了放债人的奴隶。可他明白自己要比在莫尔斯家见到的那些人高明。他只要把他那身见客服装赎出来,就能像生命的主宰一样周旋在他们之间,带着受到侮辱的战栗,其感受有如被罢黜到牧羊人中间的王子。

“你仇恨而且害怕社会主义者,”有一天晚餐时他对莫尔斯先生说,“可那是为什么?你并不认识社会主义者,也不懂得他们的学说。”

话头是由莫尔斯太太引起的。她一直在令人厌烦地歌颂着哈外古德先生。那银行家在马丁心目中是一匹黑色的野兽,一提起那个满口陈词滥调的家伙他就免不了要生气。

“是的,”他说,“查理·哈补占德是所谓的扶摇直上的青年——有人这么说。这话不错,他也许在去世之前能当上州长,说不定还能进合众国的参议院,谁也说不准。”

“你凭什么这么想?”莫尔斯太太问。

“我听他发表过竞选演说。愚蠢得非常聪明,尤其擅长人云亦云,还很有说服力。当头头的准会认为他安全可靠。他的陈词滥调跟普通的投票人的陈词滥调非常相似——不错,你知道,只要你能把任何人的话美化一番,再送还给他,你准保能得到他的欢心。”

“我的确认为你是妒忌哈扑古德先生。”露丝插话说。

“上天不允许!”

马丁脸上的厌恶之情挑起了莫尔斯太大的敌对情绪。

“你肯定不是说哈扑古德先生愚蠢吧?”她冷冷地质问。

“并不比一般的共和党人更愚蠢,”他针锋相对,“或者说,也不比民主党人更愚蠢。他们不耍手腕时都很愚蠢,而他们之中善于要手腕的并不多。聪明的共和党人是那些百万富翁们和他们的自觉的仆从们。他们明白自己的利害所在,也深知此中的奥妙。”

“我就是个共和党,”莫尔斯先生不动声色地插了一句,“请问,你把我归于哪一类?”

“哦,你是个不自觉的仆从。”

“仆从?”

“不错,不过那也没什么。你在公司工作,你不替工人打官司,也不打刑事官司;你的律师收入不靠打老婆的穷人,也不靠扒手。你从主宰着社会的人讨生活——谁养活别人,谁就是别人的主宰。不错,你就是个仆从。你只对如何增进资本集团的利益感到兴趣。”

莫尔斯先生涨红了脸。

“我得承认,先生,”他说,“你的话跟流氓式的社会主义者差不多。”

这时马丁回答的就是上面那句话:——

“你仇恨而且害怕社会主义者,可那是为什么?你并不认识社会主义者,也不知道他们的学说。”

‘你的学说听起来就像社会主义。”莫尔斯先生回答。这时露丝焦急地望着他们俩,而莫尔斯太太则快活得满脸放光,因为她终于找到了机会,挑起了老爷子的不满。

“不能因为我说共和党人愚蠢,认为自由平等博爱已经成了破灭的肥皂泡,就把我算成社会主义者。”马丁望尔一笑,说,“我虽对杰怫逊和那些向他提供材料的不科学的法国人提出怀疑,却不能算是社会主义者。请相信我,莫尔斯先生,你比我还要接近社会主义得多,反之,我倒是社会主义的死敌。”

“现在你倒有心思开玩笑。”对方无可奈何地说。

“一点也不开玩笑。我说话可是一本正经的。你还相信平等,可你为公司干活,而公司是每天都在埋葬着平等的。你因为我否认平等,揭穿了你的所作所为的实质就说我是社会主义者。共和党人是平等的敌人,虽然他们大部分人嘴上都挂着平等的口号在进行着反对平等的斗争。他们其实是在以平等的名义摧毁着平等。因此我说他们愚昧。至于我自己,我是个个人主义者,我相信赛跑是腿脚快的得奖,打架是力气大的获胜。这就是我从生物学学到的,至少是自以为学到的东西。我说过我是个个人主义者,而个人主义天生就是社会主义的敌人,永远的敌人。”

“但是你参加社会主义的聚会,”莫尔斯先生反驳道。

“当然,正如间谍要打入敌人营垒里去一样,否则你怎么能知道敌人呢?何况我参加他们的集会还感到快活。他们是优秀的战士,而且,无论他们是否正确,他们都读过书。他们中的任何一个人所懂得的社会学和别的学问也比一般企业老板多得多。是的,我参加过他们六七次会议,但那也不能把我变成社会主义者,正如听了查理·哈外古德的讲演并不能把我变成共和党人一样。”

“我是情不自禁产生这种想法的,”莫尔斯先生冷冷地说,“我仍然觉得你倾向于社会主义。”

上帝保佑,马丁心想,他不懂我的意思,我的话他一句话也没有听懂。他当初那教育是怎么受的?马丁就像这样在发展之中让自己面对了经济地位所形成的道德观,也就是阶级的道德,那东西在他面前很快就化作了一个狰狞的怪物。他本人是个理性的道德家,而在他眼里他周围这些人的道德观却比大言不惭的陈词监调更为可厌,那是一种经济道德、形而上学道德、伤感主义道德跟人云亦云的道德的妙不盯言的大杂烩。

他在自己的家里就尝到了一口这种离奇的混合道德的美味。他的妹妹茉莉安和一个年轻勤奋的德国血统技工有了来往。那人在学会了全部技术之后开了一家自行车修理铺,站住了脚跟。以后他又获得了一种低级牌子的自行车的代销权,于是富了起来。茉莉安前不久到马丁那小屋来看他,告诉了他她订婚的事。那时她还开玩笑,给马丁看了看手相。第二次她来时带来了赫尔曼·冯·史密特。马丁表示欢迎,并用了很为流畅优美的言辞向两人祝贺,可那却引起工妹妹的情人那农民心灵的抵触。马丁又朗诵了他为纪念跟茉莉安上次的见面所写的六七小节诗,却加深了恶劣的印象。那是些社交诗,巧妙精美,他把它叫做《手相家》。他朗诵完毕,却没有见到妹妹脸上有高兴的表情出现,不禁感到吃惊。相反,妹妹的眼睛却盯住了她的未婚夫。马丁跟随她的目光看去,却在那位重要人物歪扭的脸上看见了阴沉、慢怒的不以为然的神气。这事过去了,客人很早就离开了,马丁也把它全忘了。不过,他一时总觉得奇怪,即使是工人阶级的妇女,别人为她写诗,能有什么叫她不得意、不高兴的呢?

几天以后,茉莉安又来看他,这回是一个人来的。他倒是开门见山,没有浪费时间就痛苦地责备起他的行为来。

“怎么啦,茉莉安,”他也责备她,“你说话那样子好像为你的亲人,至少是为你哥哥感到丢脸似的。”

“我的确感到丢脸。”她爆发了出来。

马丁在她的眼里看到了屈辱的泪水,感到莫名其妙。可无论那是什么情绪,却是真实的。

“可是茉莉安,我为我的亲妹妹写诗,赫尔文凭什么嫉妒呀?”

“他不是嫉妒,”她抽抽搭搭地哭了起来,“他说那诗不正经,下——流。”

马丁低吹了一声长长的口哨,表示难以置信,回过神来之后,又读了读《手相家》的复写稿。

“我可看不出诗里有什么下流之处,”他终于说,把稿子递给了她。“你自己看看,再告诉我你觉得是什么地方下流——他用的是这个词吧。”

“那是他说的,他总该知道,”妹妹回答,带着厌恶的表情一挥手,推开了稿子。“他说你应该把它撕掉。他说,他不要这样的老婆,叫人写这样的话,还要去让人家读。他说那太丢脸,他不能忍受。”

“听着,茉莉安,他这是胡说八道。”马丁刚开口,随即改变了主意。

他看见了眼前这个伤心的姑娘,他明白要说服她和她的丈夫是不可能的。尽管事情整个儿地荒唐可笑,他仍然决定投降。

“好了好了,”他宣布,把手稿撕成了五六片,扔进了字纸篓。

他心里别有安慰,他知道那时他的打字稿已经躺在纽约一家杂志社的办公室里。这是茉莉安和她的丈夫都不会知道的。而且,即使那无害的诗发表了,也不会妨害他自己、茉莉安夫妇或任何人。

茉莉安向字纸篓伸了伸手,却忍住了。

“我可以吗?”她请求。

他点了点头。她把那些手稿破片收拾起来,塞进了短衫口袋——那是她任务完成的物证。他沉思地望着她。她叫他想起了丽齐·康诺利,虽然茉莉安没有他只见过两面的那个工人阶级姑娘那么火热、耀眼、精力充沛,但她们的服装和姿态是一样的,她们是一对。他又设想若是这两个姑娘之一在莫尔斯太太的厅堂里出现,又会怎么样。这一想,他又不禁心里一乐,笑了起来。笑意淡去,他又感到了孤独。他的这个妹妹和莫尔斯太太家的厅堂是他生命旅途上的两个里程碑。他已经把两者都扔到了身后。他深情地环视着他的那几本书。那是他现在仅有的志同道合者了。

“啊,什么?”他吃了一惊,问道。

茉莉安把她的问题再说了一遍。

“我为什么不去干活?”他有心没肠地笑了起来。“你的那位赫尔曼教训了你吧。”

她摇摇头。

“别撒谎。”他命令道,她点了点头,承认了他的判断。

“好了,你告诉你那位赫尔曼,还是多为自己的事操点心吧。我为他的女朋友写诗可以算得是他的事,但对此外的问题他是没有发言权的。明白了么?”

“你说我想当作家是办不到的么,呢?”他继续说,“你认为我不行么?——认为我倒了霉,给家庭丢了脸,是么?”

“我认为你若是有了工作就会好得多,”她理直气壮地说,他明白那话是出于至诚。“赫尔曼说——”

“滚你耶赫尔曼的蛋吧!”他叫了起来,态度却挺好,“我想知道你们什么时候结婚。还有,请征求征求你那位赫尔曼的意见,可否委屈地同意你接受我一个礼物。”

妹妹离开之后他考虑了一下这事,不禁一再苦笑。他看见妹妹和她的未婚夫、工人阶级的全部成员、还有露丝那阶级的全部成员,人人都按照自己渺小的公式过着自己的狭隘生活——他们是过着集体生活的群居动物,他们用彼此的舆论塑造着彼此的生活。他们受到那些奴役着他们的幼稚公式的控制,都不再是单个的个人,也都过不到真正的生活。马丁把他们像幽灵队伍一样召唤到了自己面前。和巴特勒先生手牵着手的是伯纳德·希金波坦;和查理·哈扑古德胜贴着脸的是赫尔曼·冯·史密特。他把他们一个一个,一对一对作了评判,然后全部打发掉。他用书本上学来的智慧和道德标准对他们作了评判,然后茫然地问道:那些伟大的灵魂、伟大的人到哪里去了?他在响应他幻觉的号召来到他小屋里的轻浮、粗野、愚昧的聪明人中寻找,一个也没有找到。他厌恶这群人,女巫喀耳刻也一定像他一样厌恶着她那群猪的。等到他把最后一个幼象都赶走,觉得自己已是单独一人时,却来了一个迟到者,这人不期而至,是个不速之客。马丁望着他,看见了那硬檐帽,方襟双排扣短外衣和大摇大摆的肩头,他看见了那个流氓,当年的他。

“你也和这些人是一路货色,小年青,”马丁冷笑说,“你那道德和知识水平当初也跟他们一模一样。你并不按照自己的本意去思想和行动。你的思想和你的衣服一样,都是预先做好的。大家的赞许规定了你的行为。你是你那帮人的头头,因为别人说你有种,为你喝彩。你打架,你指挥别人,并不是因为你喜欢那样做——你知道实际上你讨厌那样做——而是因为别人拍你的肩膀表示赞许。你打垮了干酪脸是因为你不肯认输。而你不肯认输则一部分是因为你好勇斗狠,一部分是因为你相信着你身边的人相信的东西,认为男子汉的本领就在敢于残酷凶狠地伤害和折磨别人的肉体。哼,兔意于,你甚至抢走伙伴的女朋友,并不因为你想要那些姑娘,而只是因为你身边的人在骨髓里存在的就是野蛮的公马和雄海豹的本能,而你的道德规范又由他们决定。好了,那样的年代过去了,你现在对它是怎么看的?”

转瞬之间那幻影改变了,好像作出了回答。硬檐帽和方襟短外衣不见了,为较为平和的装束所代替。脸上的蛮横之气,眼里的粗野之光也不见了;因为受到熏陶磨练,脸上闪出了心灵跟美和知识契合无间的光芒。那幻影非常像他现在的自己。他打量着幻影,看见了那映照着幻影的台灯和灯光照耀的书本。他瞥了一眼那书名,读道:《美的科学》,然后便进入幻影,挑亮台灯,读起《美的科学》来。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  


On a beautiful fall day, a day of similar Indian summer to that which had seen their love declared the year before, Martin read his "Love-cycle" to Ruth. It was in the afternoon, and, as before, they had ridden out to their favorite knoll in the hills. Now and again she had interrupted his reading with exclamations of pleasure, and now, as he laid the last sheet of manuscript with its fellows, he waited her judgment.




She delayed to speak, and at last she spoke haltingly, hesitating to frame in words the harshness of her thought.




"I think they are beautiful, very beautiful," she said; "but you can't sell them, can you? You see what I mean," she said, almost pleaded. "This writing of yours is not practical. Something is the matter - maybe it is with the market - that prevents you from earning a living by it. And please, dear, don't misunderstand me. I am flattered, and made proud, and all that - I could not be a true woman were it otherwise - that you should write these poems to me. But they do not make our marriage possible. Don't you see, Martin? Don't think me mercenary. It is love, the thought of our future, with which I am burdened. A whole year has gone by since we learned we loved each other, and our wedding day is no nearer. Don't think me immodest in thus talking about our wedding, for really I have my heart, all that I am, at stake. Why don't you try to get work on a newspaper, if you are so bound up in your writing? Why not become a reporter? - for a while, at least?"




"It would spoil my style," was his answer, in a low, monotonous voice. "You have no idea how I've worked for style."




"But those storiettes," she argued. "You called them hack-work. You wrote many of them. Didn't they spoil your style?"




"No, the cases are different. The storiettes were ground out, jaded, at the end of a long day of application to style. But a reporter's work is all hack from morning till night, is the one paramount thing of life. And it is a whirlwind life, the life of the moment, with neither past nor future, and certainly without thought of any style but reportorial style, and that certainly is not literature. To become a reporter now, just as my style is taking form, crystallizing, would be to commit literary suicide. As it is, every storiette, every word of every storiette, was a violation of myself, of my self-respect, of my respect for beauty. I tell you it was sickening. I was guilty of sin. And I was secretly glad when the markets failed, even if my clothes did go into pawn. But the joy of writing the 'Love-cycle'! The creative joy in its noblest form! That was compensation for everything."




Martin did not know that Ruth was unsympathetic concerning the creative joy. She used the phrase - it was on her lips he had first heard it. She had read about it, studied about it, in the university in the course of earning her Bachelorship of Arts; but she was not original, not creative, and all manifestations of culture on her part were but harpings of the harpings of others.




"May not the editor have been right in his revision of your 'Sea Lyrics'?" she questioned. "Remember, an editor must have proved qualifications or else he would not be an editor."




"That's in line with the persistence of the established," he rejoined, his heat against the editor-folk getting the better of him. "What is, is not only right, but is the best possible. The existence of anything is sufficient vindication of its fitness to exist - to exist, mark you, as the average person unconsciously believes, not merely in present conditions, but in all conditions. It is their ignorance, of course, that makes them believe such rot - their ignorance, which is nothing more nor less than the henidical mental process described by Weininger. They think they think, and such thinkless creatures are the arbiters of the lives of the few who really think."




He paused, overcome by the consciousness that he had been talking over Ruth's head.




"I'm sure I don't know who this Weininger is," she retorted. "And you are so dreadfully general that I fail to follow you. What I was speaking of was the qualification of editors - "




"And I'll tell you," he interrupted. "The chief qualification of ninety-nine per cent of all editors is failure. They have failed as writers. Don't think they prefer the drudgery of the desk and the slavery to their circulation and to the business manager to the joy of writing. They have tried to write, and they have failed. And right there is the cursed paradox of it. Every portal to success in literature is guarded by those watch-dogs, the failures in literature. The editors, sub-editors, associate editors, most of them, and the manuscript-readers for the magazines and book- publishers, most of them, nearly all of them, are men who wanted to write and who have failed. And yet they, of all creatures under the sun the most unfit, are the very creatures who decide what shall and what shall not find its way into print - they, who have proved themselves not original, who have demonstrated that they lack the divine fire, sit in judgment upon originality and genius. And after them come the reviewers, just so many more failures. Don't tell me that they have not dreamed the dream and attempted to write poetry or fiction; for they have, and they have failed. Why, the average review is more nauseating than cod-liver oil. But you know my opinion on the reviewers and the alleged critics. There are great critics, but they are as rare as comets. If I fail as a writer, I shall have proved for the career of editorship. There's bread and butter and jam, at any rate."




Ruth's mind was quick, and her disapproval of her lover's views was buttressed by the contradiction she found in his contention.




"But, Martin, if that be so, if all the doors are closed as you have shown so conclusively, how is it possible that any of the great writers ever arrived?"




"They arrived by achieving the impossible," he answered. "They did such blazing, glorious work as to burn to ashes those that opposed them. They arrived by course of miracle, by winning a thousand-to- one wager against them. They arrived because they were Carlyle's battle-scarred giants who will not be kept down. And that is what I must do; I must achieve the impossible."




"But if you fail? You must consider me as well, Martin."




"If I fail?" He regarded her for a moment as though the thought she had uttered was unthinkable. Then intelligence illumined his eyes. "If I fail, I shall become an editor, and you will be an editor's wife."




She frowned at his facetiousness - a pretty, adorable frown that made him put his arm around her and kiss it away.




"There, that's enough," she urged, by an effort of will withdrawing herself from the fascination of his strength. "I have talked with father and mother. I never before asserted myself so against them. I demanded to be heard. I was very undutiful. They are against you, you know; but I assured them over and over of my abiding love for you, and at last father agreed that if you wanted to, you could begin right away in his office. And then, of his own accord, he said he would pay you enough at the start so that we could get married and have a little cottage somewhere. Which I think was very fine of him - don't you?"




Martin, with the dull pain of despair at his heart, mechanically reaching for the tobacco and paper (which he no longer carried) to roll a cigarette, muttered something inarticulate, and Ruth went on.




"Frankly, though, and don't let it hurt you - I tell you, to show you precisely how you stand with him - he doesn't like your radical views, and he thinks you are lazy. Of course I know you are not. I know you work hard."




How hard, even she did not know, was the thought in Martin's mind.




"Well, then," he said, "how about my views? Do you think they are so radical?"




He held her eyes and waited the answer.




"I think them, well, very disconcerting," she replied.




The question was answered for him, and so oppressed was he by the grayness of life that he forgot the tentative proposition she had made for him to go to work. And she, having gone as far as she dared, was willing to wait the answer till she should bring the question up again.




She had not long to wait. Martin had a question of his own to propound to her. He wanted to ascertain the measure of her faith in him, and within the week each was answered. Martin precipitated it by reading to her his "The Shame of the Sun."




"Why don't you become a reporter?" she asked when he had finished. "You love writing so, and I am sure you would succeed. You could rise in journalism and make a name for yourself. There are a number of great special correspondents. Their salaries are large, and their field is the world. They are sent everywhere, to the heart of Africa, like Stanley, or to interview the Pope, or to explore unknown Thibet."




"Then you don't like my essay?" he rejoined. "You believe that I have some show in journalism but none in literature?"




"No, no; I do like it. It reads well. But I am afraid it's over the heads of your readers. At least it is over mine. It sounds beautiful, but I don't understand it. Your scientific slang is beyond me. You are an extremist, you know, dear, and what may be intelligible to you may not be intelligible to the rest of us."




"I imagine it's the philosophic slang that bothers you," was all he could say.




He was flaming from the fresh reading of the ripest thought he had expressed, and her verdict stunned him.




"No matter how poorly it is done," he persisted, "don't you see anything in it? - in the thought of it, I mean?"




She shook her head.




"No, it is so different from anything I have read. I read Maeterlinck and understand him - "




"His mysticism, you understand that?" Martin flashed out.




"Yes, but this of yours, which is supposed to be an attack upon him, I don't understand. Of course, if originality counts - "




He stopped her with an impatient gesture that was not followed by speech. He became suddenly aware that she was speaking and that she had been speaking for some time.




"After all, your writing has been a toy to you," she was saying. "Surely you have played with it long enough. It is time to take up life seriously - OUR life, Martin. Hitherto you have lived solely your own."




"You want me to go to work?" he asked.




"Yes. Father has offered - "




"I understand all that," he broke in; "but what I want to know is whether or not you have lost faith in me?"




She pressed his hand mutely, her eyes dim.




"In your writing, dear," she admitted in a half-whisper.




"You've read lots of my stuff," he went on brutally. "What do you think of it? Is it utterly hopeless? How does it compare with other men's work?"




"But they sell theirs, and you - don't."




"That doesn't answer my question. Do you think that literature is not at all my vocation?"




"Then I will answer." She steeled herself to do it. "I don't think you were made to write. Forgive me, dear. You compel me to say it; and you know I know more about literature than you do."




"Yes, you are a Bachelor of Arts," he said meditatively; "and you ought to know."




"But there is more to be said," he continued, after a pause painful to both. "I know what I have in me. No one knows that so well as I. I know I shall succeed. I will not be kept down. I am afire with what I have to say in verse, and fiction, and essay. I do not ask you to have faith in that, though. I do not ask you to have faith in me, nor in my writing. What I do ask of you is to love me and have faith in love."




"A year ago I believed for two years. One of those years is yet to run. And I do believe, upon my honor and my soul, that before that year is run I shall have succeeded. You remember what you told me long ago, that I must serve my apprenticeship to writing. Well, I have served it. I have crammed it and telescoped it. With you at the end awaiting me, I have never shirked. Do you know, I have forgotten what it is to fall peacefully asleep. A few million years ago I knew what it was to sleep my fill and to awake naturally from very glut of sleep. I am awakened always now by an alarm clock. If I fall asleep early or late, I set the alarm accordingly; and this, and the putting out of the lamp, are my last conscious actions."




"When I begin to feel drowsy, I change the heavy book I am reading for a lighter one. And when I doze over that, I beat my head with my knuckles in order to drive sleep away. Somewhere I read of a man who was afraid to sleep. Kipling wrote the story. This man arranged a spur so that when unconsciousness came, his naked body pressed against the iron teeth. Well, I've done the same. I look at the time, and I resolve that not until midnight, or not until one o'clock, or two o'clock, or three o'clock, shall the spur be removed. And so it rowels me awake until the appointed time. That spur has been my bed-mate for months. I have grown so desperate that five and a half hours of sleep is an extravagance. I sleep four hours now. I am starved for sleep. There are times when I am light-headed from want of sleep, times when death, with its rest and sleep, is a positive lure to me, times when I am haunted by Longfellow's lines:




"'The sea is still and deep; All things within its bosom sleep; A single step and all is o'er, A plunge, a bubble, and no more.'




"Of course, this is sheer nonsense. It comes from nervousness, from an overwrought mind. But the point is: Why have I done this? For you. To shorten my apprenticeship. To compel Success to hasten. And my apprenticeship is now served. I know my equipment. I swear that I learn more each month than the average college man learns in a year. I know it, I tell you. But were my need for you to understand not so desperate I should not tell you. It is not boasting. I measure the results by the books. Your brothers, to- day, are ignorant barbarians compared with me and the knowledge I have wrung from the books in the hours they were sleeping. Long ago I wanted to be famous. I care very little for fame now. What I want is you; I am more hungry for you than for food, or clothing, or recognition. I have a dream of laying my head on your breast and sleeping an aeon or so, and the dream will come true ere another year is gone."




His power beat against her, wave upon wave; and in the moment his will opposed hers most she felt herself most strongly drawn toward him. The strength that had always poured out from him to her was now flowering in his impassioned voice, his flashing eyes, and the vigor of life and intellect surging in him. And in that moment, and for the moment, she was aware of a rift that showed in her certitude - a rift through which she caught sight of the real Martin Eden, splendid and invincible; and as animal-trainers have their moments of doubt, so she, for the instant, seemed to doubt her power to tame this wild spirit of a man.




"And another thing," he swept on. "You love me. But why do you love me? The thing in me that compels me to write is the very thing that draws your love. You love me because I am somehow different from the men you have known and might have loved. I was not made for the desk and counting-house, for petty business squabbling, and legal jangling. Make me do such things, make me like those other men, doing the work they do, breathing the air they breathe, developing the point of view they have developed, and you have destroyed the difference, destroyed me, destroyed the thing you love. My desire to write is the most vital thing in me. Had I been a mere clod, neither would I have desired to write, nor would you have desired me for a husband."




"But you forget," she interrupted, the quick surface of her mind glimpsing a parallel. "There have been eccentric inventors, starving their families while they sought such chimeras as perpetual motion. Doubtless their wives loved them, and suffered with them and for them, not because of but in spite of their infatuation for perpetual motion."




"True," was the reply. "But there have been inventors who were not eccentric and who starved while they sought to invent practical things; and sometimes, it is recorded, they succeeded. Certainly I do not seek any impossibilities - "




"You have called it 'achieving the impossible,'" she interpolated.




"I spoke figuratively. I seek to do what men have done before me - to write and to live by my writing."




Her silence spurred him on.




"To you, then, my goal is as much a chimera as perpetual motion?" he demanded.




He read her answer in the pressure of her hand on his - the pitying mother-hand for the hurt child. And to her, just then, he was the hurt child, the infatuated man striving to achieve the impossible.




Toward the close of their talk she warned him again of the antagonism of her father and mother.




"But you love me?" he asked.




"I do! I do!" she cried.




"And I love you, not them, and nothing they do can hurt me." Triumph sounded in his voice. "For I have faith in your love, not fear of their enmity. All things may go astray in this world, but not love. Love cannot go wrong unless it be a weakling that faints and stumbles by the way."
那是个美丽的秋日,小阳春天气又来了。去年此时他俩表白了彼此的爱情,马丁向露丝朗诵了他的媛清组诗人这一天午后,两人又像以前那样骑车来到了他们喜爱的群山中的丘陵。她不时地以欢快的惊呼打断了他的朗诵。现在他把最后一负手稿和别的手稿也到了一起,等待着听她的意见。

她迟迟没有说话。然后便吞吞吐吐地汗始了,犹豫着,想用恰当的语言表达难堪的意思。

“我觉得这些诗都很美,美极了,”她说,“但是你卖不掉,是不是?你懂得我的意思的。”她说,几乎是在请求。“你的写作并不现实,是有什么地方出了问题——也许是市场吧——使你无法靠写作过日子。我求你,亲爱的,你为我写了这些诗,我感到得意,也感到骄傲和如此等等。要不然我就不是真正的女人了。可是诗歌并不能让我们结婚。你明白么,马丁?不要以为我贪财。我打心里感到沉重,我是为了爱情和我俩的未来。我们知道彼此相爱已经一年了,可我们结婚的日子依旧遥远。我像这样谈着结婚,不要以为我不顾廉耻,因为实际上我是拿我的心和我的一切在下赌注。你既然那么醉心于写作,为什么不到一家报纸去工作呢?为什么不去当个记者?——做一段时间至少是可以的吧?”

“那会破坏了我的风格的,”他闷闷不乐地低声回答,“你不知道我为风格下了多少功夫。”

“可那些小故事,”她辩解说,“你吧它们称作下锅之作的,你倒写了不少。它们又是否破坏了你的风格呢?”

“不,情况不同。小故事是在一天漫长的考究风格的工作完毕,我已经筋疲力尽时才去琢磨写出的。而记者工作却要从早到晚卖文为生,写稿成了生活里唯一的也是至高无上的工作。而且生活像旋风一样,只有那一刻,没有过去,也没有将来。肯定不会考虑风格,有的只是记者风格,而记者风格绝对不是文学。我正处在风格逐渐结晶形成的时期,却去做记者,简直是文学上的自杀。现在的情况是,每一个小故事,小故事里的每一个词语都伤害着我,伤害着我的自尊和我对美的尊重。告诉你,写小故事叫我恶心,我在犯罪。小故事没了市场,我内心深处反倒高兴,尽管我的礼服又进了当铺。可是我在写《爱情组诗》的时候是多么美妙快活呀!那是最高贵的创造的欢乐!是对一切一切的报偿。”

马丁不知道,其实露丝对他的“创造的欢乐”并无体会。这个词她用过——他就是从她的嘴唇上第一次听见的。露丝在大学攻读学士学位时读到过,也研究过,可是她并无创造性,不会创作,她一身的文化气息不过是从人云亦云中得来的。

“编辑修改你的《海上抒情诗》难道也错了?”她问,“请记住,没有审查合格证明,编辑是不能上岗的。”

“那正跟现存秩序所坚持的说法合拍,”他回答,自己对编辑之流的怒火左右了他。“现存的不但是正确的,而且是最好的。任何事物的存在本身都足以证明它适于存在——请注意,一般人往往下意识地认为,它不但适于在现有条件下存在,也适于在一切条件下存在。当然,他们之所以相信这种废话是因为愚昧,这种想法大体跟魏宁格所描写的模糊心灵活动不相上下。这些人自以为有思想。而对少数真正进行思考的人下着判断的偏偏就是这类没有思想的家伙。”

他住了口,意识到自己的话已在露丝的理解力之外。

“我相信我不知道这位魏宁格是什么人,”她反驳说,“而你讲起话来又概括得可怕,叫我跟不上。我谈的是编辑资格的问题——”

“我要告诉你,”他插嘴说,“编辑们有百分之九十九主要条件都不合格。他们作为作家都是失败的。不要以为他们愿意放弃写作的欢乐去干那些沉重的伏案工作,或者去做发行或者业务经理的奴隶。他们写作过,但是失败了,于是出现了该死的怪圈:文学的失意者成了看门狗,把守着每一道通向文学成就的大门。编辑、副编辑、编辑助理,为杂志和出版家审查稿件的大部分或几乎全部的人都是想写作而又失败了的人。而决定作品应当或不应当出版的偏偏是他们,偏偏是这些阳光之下芙美众生里最不合格的人——坐在那儿评判着独创性和天才的是他们,是这些已经证明缺少创造性和圣火的人。然后还有评论家,也都是些失败者。别以为他们没有做过梦,没有打算写诗或小说。他们做过的,但是失败了。嗨,平庸的批评比鱼肝油还恶心。不过我对书评家和所谓的评论家的意见是知道的。伟大的评论家是有的,但是像彗星一样稀罕。我若是写作失败了,我可以证明自己从事编辑事业的能力。那里毕竟还有奶油面包,还有果酱。”

露丝机灵,听出了他话里的矛盾,反对起来就更振振有辞了。

“可是马丁,既然那样,既然所有的门都像你所下的结论那样关闭了,伟大的作家又是怎么取得成功的呢?”

“他们做到了别人做不到的事,”他回答,“他们的作品太灿烂,太炽烈,反对的人都叫它们烧成了灰烬。他们是通过奇迹的路成功的,是以一比一手的赌注赌赢了的。他们成功是因为他们是卡莱尔笔下那种遍体鳞伤却不肯低头的巨人。那就是我要做的事。我要做出别人做不到的事。”

“可你要是失败了呢?你还得想到我呀,马丁。”

“我要是失败了?”他盯着她望了一会儿,仿佛她那想法不可思议。然后眼里闪出了聪明的光。“我要是失败,我就去做编辑,让你做编辑的老婆。”

她见他在调皮,眉头便皱了起来——那样子又美丽又可爱,他不禁楼过她就亲吻,吻得她不再皱眉头。

“好了,够了,”她求他,他的阳刚之气迷醉了她,她靠了意志力才挣扎了出来。“我已经跟爸爸妈妈说了。我以前从没坚持自己的意见巨对过他们,这次我可要求他们接受我的意见,我很不孝顺。你知道他们不同意你,但是我一再向他们保证说我永远爱你,爸爸终于同意了。只要你愿意你可以从他的事务所开始。他还主动提出,你一上班他就给你足够的薪水,让我们俩不仅能够结婚,而且能在什么地方有一套住房。我觉得他够体贴的了——你觉得呢?”

马丁心里一阵钝痛,感到失望。他机械地伸出手去,想取烟草和纸——可他再也不带那东西了。他只含糊地回答了一句,露丝说了下去:——

“不过,坦率地说,我不愿意伤害你——我告诉你这话,是想让你知道爸爸对你的印象——他不喜欢你过激的观点,而且认为你懒。当然,我知道你不懒,相反倒是很刻苦。”

马丁心里却明白,自己有多么刻苦就连她也不知道。

“好了,那么,”他说,“对于我的观点呢?你以为我过激,是么?”

他盯着她的眼睛,等着回答。

“我认为你的观点叫人不安,”她回答。

问题已经得到了回答。灰色的生活阻挡了他,使他忘却了她在试图要求他去工作,而她呢,既已说明了想法,冒了险,也愿意等下一次再要求回答。

她不用等多久。马丁自己也向她提出了问题,想衡量一下她对他的信心。还没满一周双方都得到了回答。马丁向她朗诵了他的《太阳的耻辱》,于是形势急转直下。

“你为什么不肯去做记者?”听完朗诵,她问道,“你这么喜欢写作,我相信你会成功的。你可以在新闻事业上出人头地,享有盛名的。有许多了不起的特约通讯员,薪水很高,全世界就是他们的天地。他们被派到世界各地去,比如斯坦利,他就被派到非洲的腹地,派去采访教皇,派到无人知道的西藏。”

“那么你是不喜欢我的论文么?”他问,“你相信我写新闻还可以,搞文学却不行么?”

“不,不,我喜欢你的文学作品,读起来很有意思。但是我担心有的读者跟不上。至少我跟不上。听起来挺美,可是我不懂得。你的科学词汇我弄不清楚。你是个极端分子,你知道,亲爱的。你明白的东西我们别的人可不明白。”

“我估计叫你不明白的是那些哲学术语,”他能说的就是这句话。

他刚朗读了他所写成的最成熟的思想,情绪火热,听了她的断语不禁目瞪口呆。

“不管写得多么糟糕,”他坚持,“你从中看到了什么东西么?——我指的是思想?”

她摇摇头。

“没有,它和我读过的东西都非常不同。我读过梅特林克,懂得他——”

“他的神秘主义,你懂得?”马丁爆发了出来。

“懂,但是你的话我不懂,看来你是攻击他的。当然,要是强调独创性的话——”

他做了个不耐烦的手势,打断了她的话,自己却没有说什么。他突然意识到她正在说话,已经说了一会儿。

“说到底你是在玩写作,”她在说,“你确实玩得太久了。已经到了严肃地面对生活——面对我们的生活的时候了,马丁。到目前为止,你只是一个人在生活。”

“你是要想我去工作么?”他问。

“是的,爸爸已经提出——”

“那些我都明白,”他叫了起来,“可我想知道的是你对我是否失去了信心?”

她默默地捏住他的手,眼神迷茫。

“失去了对你写作的信心,亲爱的。”她低声说。

“你读过我许多东西,”他粗野地说下去,“你有什么看法?完全没有希望么?和别人的东西比怎么样?”

“可是别人的作品卖掉了,你的——没有。”

“那并没有回答我的问题。你认为我不能从事文学么?”

‘那我就回答你吧。”她鼓起了勇气回答;“我认为你不是搞写作的料。请原谅我,亲爱的。是你逼我说的;而你知道我比你更懂得文学。”

“是的,你是个文学学土,”他沉吟着说,“你应该懂得。”

“但是我还有别的话要说,”两人痛苦地沉默了一会儿,他说了下去,“我知道我心里有些什么,没有别人比我更了解。我知道我会成功的。我不愿意受到压抑。我想要用诗歌、小说。散文的形式表现的东西燃烧着我。不过我不要求你对它有信心。我并不要求你对我有信心,对我的写作有信心。我要求你的只是爱我,对于爱情有信心。

“一年以前我要求了两年,还有一年没有到期。而我以我的荣誉和灵魂发誓,相信这一年没有过完我就会成功的。你记得很久以前告诉过我的话,我学写作还有个学徒阶段。是的,我的学徒阶段已经过去。我已经把它塞满了,压缩了。你在前面等着我,我从来没有偷过懒。你知道么,我已经忘记平平静静地入睡是怎么回事了。睡得心满意足,然后高高兴兴地自然醒来对我已是几百万年以前的事了。我现在总是叫闹钟闹醒,早睡也好,晚睡也好,闹钟总上好的。这个动作,关灯,是我的最后的有意识的动作。

“我感到疲倦了便把费力的书换成轻松点的。我打瞌睡,便用指关节敲我的脑袋,把睡意赶走。我曾读到一个害怕睡觉的人。故事是吉卜林写的。那人为防止打瞌睡,弄了一根铁刺,人一迷糊他的光身子就扎到铁刺上。我就弄了这么个东西。我看准了时间,决定不到一点、两点、三点那刺决不撤掉。它就像这样在预定时间以前总扎醒我。好多个月以来那铁刺都是陪着我睡觉的。我不要命了,五小时半的睡眠已是奢侈品。我现在只睡四小时。我渴望睡眠。有时候我因为缺少睡眠把头脑弄得很清醒,有时能带来休息和睡眠的死亡对我成了严重的诱惑,那时朗赛罗的诗总京回在我的脑际:——“‘大海是那样平静幽邃,怀里的一切都沉沉安睡;向前一步便一了百了,一跳,一串泡,万事全消。’

“当然,这是瞎说,是因为太紧张,精神负担过重才这样说的。问题还在:我为什么要这样做?那是为了你,为了缩短学徒期,强迫成功早日来到。现在我的学徒期已经满了,我知道我的学识,我发誓我一个月之内学到的东西要比普通的大学生一年还多。这我明白,我告诉你。但是如果不是迫切地需要你的理解,我是不会说的。这不是夸耀。我用书本来检验成绩。今天你的几个弟兄跟我和我在他们睡大觉时在书本中所取得的知识一比,简直就是无知的野蛮人。很久以前我想成名,可现在已没有那意思了。我想要的只有你。我渴望你,比吃饭穿衣和受到承认更渴望。我做梦也想把我的头枕在你的胸口睡一辈子。而这个梦再过一年左右就可以实现了。”

他的强力一浪又一浪地冲击着她。在他的意志和她的意志碰撞最严重的时候,也正是她最强烈地感到他的吸引力的时候。他那一向向她流泻的力量在他那激动的声音和炯炯的目光里开出了花朵,在澎湃于他体内的生命和智慧的活力里开出了花朵。在那时,也只在那时,她意识到了她的信心出现了一道裂缝——通过那裂缝她瞥见了那真正的马丁·伊登,灿烂的,不可战胜的马丁·伊登。有如驯兽师有时也会犹豫一样,她一时也怀疑自己是否有力量驯服这个精灵般的野蛮人。

“还有一件事,”他滔滔不绝地说下去,“你爱我,可你为什么爱我?吸引你的爱情的正是在我心里强迫我写作的东西。你爱我,正因为我跟你所认识的人,可能爱的人,有所不同。我不是坐办公桌和会计室的料,不是凭嘴劲谈生意,上法庭玩条文的料。叫我于这种事,把我变成别的人,做他们的工作,呼吸他们的空气,发挥他们的论点,你就毁灭了我和他们的差异,也毁灭了我,毁灭了你所爱的东西。我对写作的渴望对我是最举足轻重的东西。我如果是块顽石,我就不会想写作,你也就不会要我做丈夫了。”

“但是你忘了,”她插嘴道,她心灵的敏捷的外层瞥见了一个类似的东西。“过去有过古怪的发明家,为了追求永动机这种奇特玩意让全家人忍饥挨饿。他们的妻子们无疑是爱他们的,为了他们和他们一起受苦,可并不是因为对永动机的迷醉而是不计较他们那迷醉。”

“说得对,”回答是,“可是也有并不奇特的发明家,他们在追求现实的发明时也挨饿。而有时他们却成功了,这是有记录的,我并没有想入非非——”

“可你说过,‘要做做不到的事’。”她打断了他的话。

“我那是打比喻。我追求的是前人成功了的事——写作,靠写作为生。”

她保持沉默,这又逼得他说了下去。

“那么,你认为我的目标是跟永动机一样的怪物么?”他问。

她捏了捏他的手,他明白了她的意思——那是怜爱的母亲在捏受伤的孩子的手。那时他对她不过是个受伤的孩子。是一个着了迷的人,在追求着不可能的东西。

两人谈话快结束时她再次提醒他她父母的反对。

“可是你爱我么?”

“我爱你!爱你!”她叫了起来。

“我爱的是你,不是他们,他们无论做什么都伤害不了我。”他的声音里震响着胜利。“因为我对你的爱有信心,也不怕他们的反对。在这个世界上,一切都可能迷路,爱情是决不会迷路的。只要爱情不是个弱者,一路畏畏缩缩,磕磕绊绊,就不会走错。”
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 31楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  31


Martin had encountered his sister Gertrude by chance on Broadway - as it proved, a most propitious yet disconcerting chance. Waiting on the corner for a car, she had seen him first, and noted the eager, hungry lines of his face and the desperate, worried look of his eyes. In truth, he was desperate and worried. He had just come from a fruitless interview with the pawnbroker, from whom he had tried to wring an additional loan on his wheel. The muddy fall weather having come on, Martin had pledged his wheel some time since and retained his black suit.




"There's the black suit," the pawnbroker, who knew his every asset, had answered. "You needn't tell me you've gone and pledged it with that Jew, Lipka. Because if you have - "




The man had looked the threat, and Martin hastened to cry:-




"No, no; I've got it. But I want to wear it on a matter of business."




"All right," the mollified usurer had replied. "And I want it on a matter of business before I can let you have any more money. You don't think I'm in it for my health?"




"But it's a forty-dollar wheel, in good condition," Martin had argued. "And you've only let me have seven dollars on it. No, not even seven. Six and a quarter; you took the interest in advance."




"If you want some more, bring the suit," had been the reply that sent Martin out of the stuffy little den, so desperate at heart as to reflect it in his face and touch his sister to pity.




Scarcely had they met when the Telegraph Avenue car came along and stopped to take on a crowd of afternoon shoppers. Mrs. Higginbotham divined from the grip on her arm as he helped her on, that he was not going to follow her. She turned on the step and looked down upon him. His haggard face smote her to the heart again.




"Ain't you comin'?" she asked




The next moment she had descended to his side.




"I'm walking - exercise, you know," he explained.




"Then I'll go along for a few blocks," she announced. "Mebbe it'll do me good. I ain't ben feelin' any too spry these last few days."




Martin glanced at her and verified her statement in her general slovenly appearance, in the unhealthy fat, in the drooping shoulders, the tired face with the sagging lines, and in the heavy fall of her feet, without elasticity - a very caricature of the walk that belongs to a free and happy body.




"You'd better stop here," he said, though she had already come to a halt at the first corner, "and take the next car."




"My goodness! - if I ain't all tired a'ready!" she panted. "But I'm just as able to walk as you in them soles. They're that thin they'll bu'st long before you git out to North Oakland."




"I've a better pair at home," was the answer.




"Come out to dinner to-morrow," she invited irrelevantly. "Mr. Higginbotham won't be there. He's goin' to San Leandro on business."




Martin shook his head, but he had failed to keep back the wolfish, hungry look that leapt into his eyes at the suggestion of dinner.




"You haven't a penny, Mart, and that's why you're walkin'. Exercise!" She tried to sniff contemptuously, but succeeded in producing only a sniffle. "Here, lemme see."




And, fumbling in her satchel, she pressed a five-dollar piece into his hand. "I guess I forgot your last birthday, Mart," she mumbled lamely.




Martin's hand instinctively closed on the piece of gold. In the same instant he knew he ought not to accept, and found himself struggling in the throes of indecision. That bit of gold meant food, life, and light in his body and brain, power to go on writing, and - who was to say? - maybe to write something that would bring in many pieces of gold. Clear on his vision burned the manuscripts of two essays he had just completed. He saw them under the table on top of the heap of returned manuscripts for which he had no stamps, and he saw their titles, just as he had typed them - "The High Priests of Mystery," and "The Cradle of Beauty." He had never submitted them anywhere. They were as good as anything he had done in that line. If only he had stamps for them! Then the certitude of his ultimate success rose up in him, an able ally of hunger, and with a quick movement he slipped the coin into his pocket.




"I'll pay you back, Gertrude, a hundred times over," he gulped out, his throat painfully contracted and in his eyes a swift hint of moisture.




"Mark my words!" he cried with abrupt positiveness. "Before the year is out I'll put an even hundred of those little yellow-boys into your hand. I don't ask you to believe me. All you have to do is wait and see."




Nor did she believe. Her incredulity made her uncomfortable, and failing of other expedient, she said:-




"I know you're hungry, Mart. It's sticking out all over you. Come in to meals any time. I'll send one of the children to tell you when Mr. Higginbotham ain't to be there. An' Mart - "




He waited, though he knew in his secret heart what she was about to say, so visible was her thought process to him.




"Don't you think it's about time you got a job?"




"You don't think I'll win out?" he asked.




She shook her head.




"Nobody has faith in me, Gertrude, except myself." His voice was passionately rebellious. "I've done good work already, plenty of it, and sooner or later it will sell."




"How do you know it is good?"




"Because - " He faltered as the whole vast field of literature and the history of literature stirred in his brain and pointed the futility of his attempting to convey to her the reasons for his faith. "Well, because it's better than ninety-nine per cent of what is published in the magazines."




"I wish't you'd listen to reason," she answered feebly, but with unwavering belief in the correctness of her diagnosis of what was ailing him. "I wish't you'd listen to reason," she repeated, "an' come to dinner to-morrow."




After Martin had helped her on the car, he hurried to the post- office and invested three of the five dollars in stamps; and when, later in the day, on the way to the Morse home, he stopped in at the post-office to weigh a large number of long, bulky envelopes, he affixed to them all the stamps save three of the two-cent denomination.




It proved a momentous night for Martin, for after dinner he met Russ Brissenden. How he chanced to come there, whose friend he was or what acquaintance brought him, Martin did not know. Nor had he the curiosity to inquire about him of Ruth. In short, Brissenden struck Martin as anaemic and feather-brained, and was promptly dismissed from his mind. An hour later he decided that Brissenden was a boor as well, what of the way he prowled about from one room to another, staring at the pictures or poking his nose into books and magazines he picked up from the table or drew from the shelves. Though a stranger in the house he finally isolated himself in the midst of the company, huddling into a capacious Morris chair and reading steadily from a thin volume he had drawn from his pocket. As he read, he abstractedly ran his fingers, with a caressing movement, through his hair. Martin noticed him no more that evening, except once when he observed him chaffing with great apparent success with several of the young women.




It chanced that when Martin was leaving, he overtook Brissenden already half down the walk to the street.




"Hello, is that you?" Martin said.




The other replied with an ungracious grunt, but swung alongside. Martin made no further attempt at conversation, and for several blocks unbroken silence lay upon them.




"Pompous old ass!"




The suddenness and the virulence of the exclamation startled Martin. He felt amused, and at the same time was aware of a growing dislike for the other.




"What do you go to such a place for?" was abruptly flung at him after another block of silence.




"Why do you?" Martin countered.




"Bless me, I don't know," came back. "At least this is my first indiscretion. There are twenty-four hours in each day, and I must spend them somehow. Come and have a drink."




"All right," Martin answered.




The next moment he was nonplussed by the readiness of his acceptance. At home was several hours' hack-work waiting for him before he went to bed, and after he went to bed there was a volume of Weismann waiting for him, to say nothing of Herbert Spencer's Autobiography, which was as replete for him with romance as any thrilling novel. Why should he waste any time with this man he did not like? was his thought. And yet, it was not so much the man nor the drink as was it what was associated with the drink - the bright lights, the mirrors and dazzling array of glasses, the warm and glowing faces and the resonant hum of the voices of men. That was it, it was the voices of men, optimistic men, men who breathed success and spent their money for drinks like men. He was lonely, that was what was the matter with him; that was why he had snapped at the invitation as a bonita strikes at a white rag on a hook. Not since with Joe, at Shelly Hot Springs, with the one exception of the wine he took with the Portuguese grocer, had Martin had a drink at a public bar. Mental exhaustion did not produce a craving for liquor such as physical exhaustion did, and he had felt no need for it. But just now he felt desire for the drink, or, rather, for the atmosphere wherein drinks were dispensed and disposed of. Such a place was the Grotto, where Brissenden and he lounged in capacious leather chairs and drank Scotch and soda.




They talked. They talked about many things, and now Brissenden and now Martin took turn in ordering Scotch and soda. Martin, who was extremely strong-headed, marvelled at the other's capacity for liquor, and ever and anon broke off to marvel at the other's conversation. He was not long in assuming that Brissenden knew everything, and in deciding that here was the second intellectual man he had met. But he noted that Brissenden had what Professor Caldwell lacked - namely, fire, the flashing insight and perception, the flaming uncontrol of genius. Living language flowed from him. His thin lips, like the dies of a machine, stamped out phrases that cut and stung; or again, pursing caressingly about the inchoate sound they articulated, the thin lips shaped soft and velvety things, mellow phrases of glow and glory, of haunting beauty, reverberant of the mystery and inscrutableness of life; and yet again the thin lips were like a bugle, from which rang the crash and tumult of cosmic strife, phrases that sounded clear as silver, that were luminous as starry spaces, that epitomized the final word of science and yet said something more - the poet's word, the transcendental truth, elusive and without words which could express, and which none the less found expression in the subtle and all but ungraspable connotations of common words. He, by some wonder of vision, saw beyond the farthest outpost of empiricism, where was no language for narration, and yet, by some golden miracle of speech, investing known words with unknown significances, he conveyed to Martin's consciousness messages that were incommunicable to ordinary souls.




Martin forgot his first impression of dislike. Here was the best the books had to offer coming true. Here was an intelligence, a living man for him to look up to. "I am down in the dirt at your feet," Martin repeated to himself again and again.




"You've studied biology," he said aloud, in significant allusion.




To his surprise Brissenden shook his head.




"But you are stating truths that are substantiated only by biology," Martin insisted, and was rewarded by a blank stare. "Your conclusions are in line with the books which you must have read."




"I am glad to hear it," was the answer. "That my smattering of knowledge should enable me to short-cut my way to truth is most reassuring. As for myself, I never bother to find out if I am right or not. It is all valueless anyway. Man can never know the ultimate verities."




"You are a disciple of Spencer!" Martin cried triumphantly.




"I haven't read him since adolescence, and all I read then was his 'Education.'"




"I wish I could gather knowledge as carelessly," Martin broke out half an hour later. He had been closely analyzing Brissenden's mental equipment. "You are a sheer dogmatist, and that's what makes it so marvellous. You state dogmatically the latest facts which science has been able to establish only by E POSTERIORI reasoning. You jump at correct conclusions. You certainly short- cut with a vengeance. You feel your way with the speed of light, by some hyperrational process, to truth."




"Yes, that was what used to bother Father Joseph, and Brother Dutton," Brissenden replied. "Oh, no," he added; "I am not anything. It was a lucky trick of fate that sent me to a Catholic college for my education. Where did you pick up what you know?"




And while Martin told him, he was busy studying Brissenden, ranging from a long, lean, aristocratic face and drooping shoulders to the overcoat on a neighboring chair, its pockets sagged and bulged by the freightage of many books. Brissenden's face and long, slender hands were browned by the sun - excessively browned, Martin thought. This sunburn bothered Martin. It was patent that Brissenden was no outdoor man. Then how had he been ravaged by the sun? Something morbid and significant attached to that sunburn, was Martin's thought as he returned to a study of the face, narrow, with high cheek-bones and cavernous hollows, and graced with as delicate and fine an aquiline nose as Martin had ever seen. There was nothing remarkable about the size of the eyes. They were neither large nor small, while their color was a nondescript brown; but in them smouldered a fire, or, rather, lurked an expression dual and strangely contradictory. Defiant, indomitable, even harsh to excess, they at the same time aroused pity. Martin found himself pitying him he knew not why, though he was soon to learn.




"Oh, I'm a lunger," Brissenden announced, offhand, a little later, having already stated that he came from Arizona. "I've been down there a couple of years living on the climate."




"Aren't you afraid to venture it up in this climate?"




"Afraid?"




There was no special emphasis of his repetition of Martin's word. But Martin saw in that ascetic face the advertisement that there was nothing of which it was afraid. The eyes had narrowed till they were eagle-like, and Martin almost caught his breath as he noted the eagle beak with its dilated nostrils, defiant, assertive, aggressive. Magnificent, was what he commented to himself, his blood thrilling at the sight. Aloud, he quoted:-




"'Under the bludgeoning of Chance My head is bloody but unbowed.'"




"You like Henley," Brissenden said, his expression changing swiftly to large graciousness and tenderness. "Of course, I couldn't have expected anything else of you. Ah, Henley! A brave soul. He stands out among contemporary rhymesters - magazine rhymesters - as a gladiator stands out in the midst of a band of eunuchs."




"You don't like the magazines," Martin softly impeached.




"Do you?" was snarled back at him so savagely as to startle him.




"I - I write, or, rather, try to write, for the magazines," Martin faltered.




"That's better," was the mollified rejoinder. "You try to write, but you don't succeed. I respect and admire your failure. I know what you write. I can see it with half an eye, and there's one ingredient in it that shuts it out of the magazines. It's guts, and magazines have no use for that particular commodity. What they want is wish-wash and slush, and God knows they get it, but not from you."




"I'm not above hack-work," Martin contended.




"On the contrary - " Brissenden paused and ran an insolent eye over Martin's objective poverty, passing from the well-worn tie and the saw-edged collar to the shiny sleeves of the coat and on to the slight fray of one cuff, winding up and dwelling upon Martin's sunken cheeks. "On the contrary, hack-work is above you, so far above you that you can never hope to rise to it. Why, man, I could insult you by asking you to have something to eat."




Martin felt the heat in his face of the involuntary blood, and Brissenden laughed triumphantly.




"A full man is not insulted by such an invitation," he concluded.




"You are a devil," Martin cried irritably.




"Anyway, I didn't ask you."




"You didn't dare."




"Oh, I don't know about that. I invite you now."




Brissenden half rose from his chair as he spoke, as if with the intention of departing to the restaurant forthwith.




Martin's fists were tight-clenched, and his blood was drumming in his temples.




"Bosco! He eats 'em alive! Eats 'em alive!" Brissenden exclaimed, imitating the SPIELER of a locally famous snake-eater.




"I could certainly eat you alive," Martin said, in turn running insolent eyes over the other's disease-ravaged frame.




"Only I'm not worthy of it?"




"On the contrary," Martin considered, "because the incident is not worthy." He broke into a laugh, hearty and wholesome. "I confess you made a fool of me, Brissenden. That I am hungry and you are aware of it are only ordinary phenomena, and there's no disgrace. You see, I laugh at the conventional little moralities of the herd; then you drift by, say a sharp, true word, and immediately I am the slave of the same little moralities."




"You were insulted," Brissenden affirmed.




"I certainly was, a moment ago. The prejudice of early youth, you know. I learned such things then, and they cheapen what I have since learned. They are the skeletons in my particular closet."




"But you've got the door shut on them now?"




"I certainly have."




"Sure?"




"Sure."




"Then let's go and get something to eat."




"I'll go you," Martin answered, attempting to pay for the current Scotch and soda with the last change from his two dollars and seeing the waiter bullied by Brissenden into putting that change back on the table.




Martin pocketed it with a grimace, and felt for a moment the kindly weight of Brissenden's hand upon his shoulder.
马丁在大马路碰巧遇见了他的姐姐格特露——后来证明是个非常幸运而又尴尬的巧遇。她是在一个转弯处等车,首先看见了他,并注意到了他脸上那急切的饥饿的皱纹和眼里那绝望的焦急的神色。实际上他的确已是山穷水尽,着急万分。他刚刚和一个当铺的老板谈判下来。他想从他当掉的自行车再挤出几个钱来,却没有成功。泥泞的秋天已经到了,马丁早当掉了自行车,保留了黑色礼服。

“你还有一套黑衣服,”当铺的办事员了解他的家底,回答说,“你别告诉我说你已经当给了犹太人李扑卡。因为你要是去了——”

那人眼里露出威胁,马丁急忙叫道:——

“没有,没有,我没有当。但是要留着办事时穿。”

“行了,”放高利贷的人的口气软了,说,“我要衣服也是办事,拿衣服就给你钱。你以为我借钱给人是为了祝自己健康么?”

“可那是一部状况良好的自行车,值四十元呢,”马丁争辩过,“你才当给了我七块钱,不,还不到七块钱。六块二毛五,预扣了利息。”

“还要钱就拿衣服来,”打发马丁离开那气闷的洞窟的就是这句回答。他心里的严重绝望反映到了他脸上,姐姐见了不禁难受。

姐弟俩刚见面,电报路的班车就到了,停车上了一批下午的客人。希金波坦太太从他扶着她的胳膊帮她上车的握法感到马丁不打算跟她一起走。她在踏板上转过身来看着他,心里又为他那谁忙的样子难过了。

“你不来么?”她问。

她随即下了车,来到了他的身边。

“我走路,锻炼身体,你知道。”他解释。

“那我也走几段路,”她宣布,“也许对我有好处。我这几天正觉得不清爽呢。”

马丁瞥了她一眼,她那样子证实了她的说法。她衣着邋遢,体态臃肿,两肩搭拉着,脸上的皱纹下垂,显得疲倦;步伐也沉重,缺少弹性——活脱脱是幅对自由快活的步伐的讽刺画。

“你最好就走到这儿,”他说,虽然她到第一个街口就已停了步,“在这儿塔下一班车。”

“天呀!——我怎么就累成这个样!”她喘着气说,“如果我的鞋是你那样的底,我走路也能像你的。可你那鞋底太薄,离北奥克兰很远就会破的。”

“我家里还有一双更好的。”他回答。

“明天出来吃晚饭吧,”她转变话题邀请,“希金波坦先生不在家。他要到圣利安德罗会办事。”

马丁摇摇头,但是他听见吃饭时眼里所流露出的饿狼般的馋相,却无法掩饰。

“你已经腰无半文,马,所以才走路的,还说什么锻炼呢!”她打算嘲笑他,却忍住了,只苦笑了一声。“来,我来看看。”

她在提包里摸了一会,把一个五块钱的金币塞到他手里。“我好像忘了你上次的生日了,马。”她嘟哝出了一个站不住脚的理由。

马丁的手本能地捏住了金币,同时也明白他不该接受,于是犹豫不决,陷入了痛苦。那一块金币意味着食物、生活。身体与头脑的光明,和继续写作的力气,而且说不定能写出点东西来再赚好多个金币呢,谁说得清?他在幻觉里清清楚楚燃烧着他刚完成的两篇文章;他看见它们放在桌下一堆退还的稿件顶上。那是他没有邮票寄出的。他还看见了它们的题目:《奇迹的大祭师》和《美的摇篮》。是还没有寄出去过的。那是他在那个问题上所写出的最佳之作。要是有邮票就好了!此时最后成功的把握在他心里升起,那是饥饿的有力的同盟军。他立即把那块金币塞进了口袋。

“我会还你的,格特露,一百倍地还你,”他大口地喘着气,说。他的喉咙痛苦地抽搐,眼睛也迅速闪出泪光。

“记住我的话!”他突然坚决叫道,“不到一年工夫我一定要拿整整一百个这种小玩意放到你手里。我不求你相信,只要你等着瞧。”

她并不相信。她的怀疑叫她感到内疚。她找不到方便的话讲,只好说道:——

“我知道你肚子饿,马。你满脸饿相,来吃饭吧,什么时候来都可以。希金波坦先生不在我就叫个孩子去叫你。还有,马——”

他等着,虽然他心里秘密知道她会说什么,她的思想过程他看得清清楚楚。

“你不觉得是应该找个工作的时候了么?”

“你相信我会成功么?”他问。

她摇摇头。

“谁都对我没有信心,格特露,除了我自己之外。”他的口气很激动,很反抗,“我已经写出了很好的东西。而且很多,早晚会卖出去的。”

“你咋知道你的东西就好?”

“因为——”他犹豫了。整个广袤无边的文学和文学史天地在他的头脑里悸动,它告诉他不可能跟她说清他为什么会有信心。“因为在杂志上发表的东西百分之九十九都不如它们。”

“我希望你能听得进道理,”她说话声音虽小,信念却不动摇。她相信自己对他那病的诊断。“有道理的话我希望你听得进,”她又说了一遍,“明儿个来吃晚饭!”

马丁帮助她上了车,便匆匆忙忙赶到邮局,那五块钱他用三块买了邮票;然后,在那天晚些时候去莫尔斯家的路上在邮局呆了很久,把一大堆厚重的长信封称了重量,贴上了全部的邮票,只剩下了三张两分的。

那天晚上对马丁很为重要,因为他晚饭后遇见了罗司·布里森登。布里森登是怎么偶然到那儿去的,是谁的朋友,是什么熟人带去的,他全不知道,也没有兴趣去向露丝打听。简单地说,布里森登给马丁的印象是贫血,没有头脑,而且马上就把他忘掉了。一个小时以后他又觉得布里森登是个粗野汉子。那多少是因为他一间房一间房地乱逛,瞪大了眼睛看着画,或是从桌上、书架上乱抓书籍杂志,然后把鼻子伸进去。尽管他在这屋里是个生人,最后却缩到一张巨大的莫里斯安乐椅上,让自己脱离人群一心一意读起一本他从自己口袋里抽出的小册子。他读得出神,手指头在头发里揉来操去。那个晚上马丁没有再留心他。只有一回注意到他踉几个年轻妇女开着玩笑,显然非常成功。

马丁离开时却偶然赶上了布里森登,他已经走了通向大街的便道的一半。

“啊,是你呀?”马丁说。

对方不客气地哼了一声,算是回答,却转身过来和他一起走。马丁没有再努力搭腔,两人一声不响走完了几段路。

“神气十足的老笨蛋!”

那一声叫喊又突然又刻薄,把马丁吓了一大跳。他忍俊不禁,更加不喜欢那人了。

“你到这地方去干什么?”又走了一段路,那人突然向他抛出了这么一句话。

“你呢?”马丁反击。

“上帝保佑,我不知道,”回答是,“至少这是我第一次粗心大意。每天有二十四小时,总得很过去的。跟我来喝点什么吧。”

“好的,”马丁回答。

他随即感到为难了,怎么会答应得那么痛快。家里还有几小时的下锅之作等着他在睡觉前完成,躺上床还要读一卷惠斯曼,更不要说斯宾塞自传了。他觉得那自传充满浪漫情节,不亚于任何惊险小说。他干吗要和一个他并不喜欢的火舌浪费时间呢?他想。但叫他同意的并不是那人、饮料。或与饮料有关的一切,而是那明亮的灯光、镜子、一排排耀眼的玻璃杯,还有温暖快活的面孔和热烈的喧闹。是的,是人的声音,乐观的人,呼吸着成功的人,像男人一样花钱买饮料的人。他感到寂寞,他看中的是这一切。因此,他一听见邀请就同意了,像条连钩上的白布条也想咬的红鱼。自从在雪莉温泉和乔对饮之后马丁除了跟杂货店的葡萄牙老板喝过之外就再也没有在酒店喝过酒。脑力劳动不像体力劳动,疲倦了并不渴望喝酒。他不曾想过喝酒。可刚才他却想喝酒了,确切地说,是渴望着那传林连盏、豪饮浅酌的气氛。“洞窟酒吧”就是这样一个地方,布里森登和他此刻就躺在“洞窟”的大皮椅上喝着威士忌苏打。

两人闲谈着,谈了许多问题。两人轮换着叫酒,一会儿是布里森登,一会儿是马丁。马丁酒量大,对方的酒量却也叫他绝倒。而对方的谈吐更不时地叫他吃惊,停杯谛听。没有多久马丁就发现市里森登无所不知,是他所遇见的第二个有思想的人。他还意识到布里森登有着考德威尔教授所缺少的东西——火焰,炽亮闪光的洞见力,蓬勃燃烧的无法抑制的天才。鲜活的语言从他口里伯伯奔流,他那薄薄的嘴唇像机器上的冲模,冲出的话又犀利又惊人。有时他又温柔地咂起嘴来,抚弄着日里刚清晰吐出的声音。她那薄薄的嘴唇发送出温柔的、天鹅绒般的声音,美在那微光融融、强光煜煜的词句之上萦绕徘徊,那是震响着生命的神秘和奥妙的成熟的词句。他那薄薄的嘴唇却又像支号角,宇宙的撞击与骚乱在其间震响,词句像银子一样清脆,星空一样灿烂,概括了科学的终极理论却又有余不尽——那是诗人的语言,超脱的真理,捉摸不定,难以言传,却仍然为他的微妙的几乎难以理解的平常词句所委婉表达了出来。他以某种想像力的奇迹看到了经验主义最辽远的前沿以外,那是没有语言可以表达的,可是他靠了他辉煌的语言奇迹,赋予了熟知的词语以崭新的意义,从而把一般的灵魂难以领悟的意义送进了马丁的意识。

马丁忘却了他最初的讨厌印象。书本知识的精华在这地变作了现实。这儿就是个智慧的精灵,一个值得他崇拜的凡人。“我在你脚下的泥污之中。”马丁心里一再这样说。

“你研究过生物学,”马丁别有所指地大声说。

出乎他意料之外,布里森登摇了摇头。

“可你讲的真理却是只有生物学才能充分证明的,”马丁坚持,对方却茫然地瞪了他一眼。“你的结论总得和你读过的书一致吧。”

“我很高兴听见这话,”回答是,“我这一点知识能让我找到了通向真理的捷径,真叫人安慰。至于我自己,我从来不在乎我自己对还是不对。因为对不对都全无价值。人类是永远不会知道终极真理的。”

“你是个斯宾塞的信徒!”马丁得意地叫道。

“我从少年以后就再也没有读过斯宾塞了,当初我也只读过他的《教育论》。”

“我希望也能像你一样漫不经心地吸取知识,”马丁半小时以后插嘴道。他一直在仔细分析着布里森登的知识结构。“你是个完全武断的人,因此非常神奇。你武断地提出的东西是科学靠演绎推理新近才确认的道理。你是跳进正确的结论的。你肯定是拼命找寻着捷径,靠某种超理智的程序,以光的速度摸索着真理的。”

“是的,约瑟夫神甫和达顿修土也准是为此烦恼过的,”布里森登回答,“啊不,”他接下去,“我算不上什么。只是命运的幸运的拨弄送我上了一个天主教神学院去接受了教育。你的知识是从什么地方来的?”

马丁回答时也打量着布里森登,从他那贵族味的瘦长的脸、下垂的双肩直到放在旁边椅子上的大衣、大衣口袋里鼓鼓囊囊塞满了的书。布里森登的脸和细长的双手都叫太阳晒黑了——太黑了,马丁想,黑得叫马丁纳闷。布里森登显然不是在户外干活的人。那他为什么叫太阳晒得那么厉害?那晒黑的皮肤上有某种病态的东西,令人纳闷,马丁回头再研究他的面部时想。那脸瘦瘦的,颧骨隆起,面颊凹陷,配上一个马丁从没有见过的那类精致漂亮的鹰钩鼻,眼睛的大小毫不奇特。不大,也不小,一种难以描述的棕红色,其中燃烧着一种火焰,更准确地说是隐藏了一种双重的表情,矛盾得出奇。挑战的,不屈的,甚至极其粗野的,却又引人怜悯的表情。不知为什么,马丁已经怜悯起他来,不过他马上就明白了。

“哦,我有肺病,”惊里森登先说他从亚利桑纳州来,接着便顺带宣布说,“我到那儿过了两年,靠那儿的气候养病。”

“你到这种气候里来不怕冒险么?”

“怕?”

他重复马丁这话并不特别着重,但马丁看出那张苦行僧式的脸上标明了并无畏惧。说那话时他眼睛咪细得像鹰隼一样,鹰钩鼻子鼻翼张开,带着蔑视、自信。咄咄逼人的神态,马丁一见,几乎连大气也不敢出。气派,马丁在心里评价;一见他那样子自己的血液也沸腾了。他大声引用了两句诗;——“‘尽管遭到无常的棍棒的打击,我的头并未低下,虽然鲜血淋漓。’”

“你喜欢读亨雷;”布里森登说,他的表情立刻变得宽厚慈祥,和蔼可亲了。“当然,我对你不会期望别的。啊,亨雷!勇敢的英雄!他在同时代凑韵的人——在杂志上凑韵的人当中崭露头角,有如站在一群阉人中的格斗士。”

“你不喜欢杂志介马丁温和地责难他。

“你喜欢么?”回答气势汹汹而且武断,吓了他一跳。

“我——我写东西,或者说试着给杂志写点东西。”马丁犹豫着回答。

“那还好,”口气缓和了些,“你试着写过,但是没有成功。我尊重也佩服你的失败。我知道你写的东西。我半睁一只眼也能看见。它们被关在杂志大门之外了,其中有一个因素,就是内容。你那种特别的商品杂志是无法派用场的。它们要的是没盐没味、无病呻吟的东西,无知道,那些东西它们能弄到,可不是从你那儿。”

“我写的也不过是下锅之作。”马丁辩解说。

“相反,”布里森登住了嘴,不客气地打量了一眼马丁那明显的贫穷。从旧领带到锯齿状的衣领,到磨光了的外衣肘部,再到有一处已经绽线的袖日,到未了又细细打量了一下马丁那凹陷的双颊。“相反,下锅之作你是写不出来的。它大高,你永远望尘莫及。你看,老兄,我只须说请你吃饭,你准会生气!”

马丁脸上发起烧来,只觉得血往上涌。布里森登胜利地哈哈大笑。

“肚子吃饱了的人是不会因为这种邀请生气的。”那是他的结论。

“你是个魔鬼!”马丁气冲冲地叫了起来。

“我毕竟没有请你吃饭。”

“你怕是不敢。”

“啊,这我倒还不知道。我现在就请你好了。”

布里森登说话时半欠起了身子,好像打算马上去餐厅。

马丁捏紧了拳头,太阳穴里血液腾腾地乱跳。

“哇噻!活嚼了!活嚼了!”布里森登学着当地一个有名的吹捧吃蛇表演的牛皮匠大叫起来。

“我可真能把你活嚼了!”马丁说,回报的眼光也不客气,他打量着对手那病怄诉的身子。

“只不过是因为我不够资格么?”

“相反,”马丁思考着,“是因为这东西还不够资格叫你给吃掉。”他哈哈大笑,很痛快,很真诚。“我承认上了你一当,布里森登。我饿了,叫你感觉到了,这也是平常现象,说不上侮辱。你看,我嘲笑着人群里的这些琐碎的道德信条,可是你一来,说了一句尖刻的真话,我立即成了那些小气琐碎的道德信条的奴隶。”

“你觉得是受了侮辱。”布里森登肯定。

“确实如此,不过已经过去。那是早年的偏见,你知道。我是在那时学到这类东西的,它们使我以后学到的东西贬值,是我的一种思想包袱。”

“那包袱你现在卸掉了没有?”

“肯定卸掉了。”

“真的?”

“真的。”

“那咱俩就去吃点东西。”

“我请客,”马丁回答,他打算用那找补下的两块钱付眼前的威士忌苏打帐,却眼看着布里森登气势汹汹地逼着传者把那钱放回到桌上。

马丁苦笑了一下,把钱收回了腰包,感到布里森登的手亲切地按在他的肩头上。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 32楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  32


Promptly, the next afternoon, Maria was excited by Martin's second visitor. But she did not lose her head this time, for she seated Brissenden in her parlor's grandeur of respectability.




"Hope you don't mind my coming?" Brissenden began.




"No, no, not at all," Martin answered, shaking hands and waving him to the solitary chair, himself taking to the bed. "But how did you know where I lived?"




"Called up the Morses. Miss Morse answered the 'phone. And here I am." He tugged at his coat pocket and flung a thin volume on the table. "There's a book, by a poet. Read it and keep it." And then, in reply to Martin's protest: "What have I to do with books? I had another hemorrhage this morning. Got any whiskey? No, of course not. Wait a minute."




He was off and away. Martin watched his long figure go down the outside steps, and, on turning to close the gate, noted with a pang the shoulders, which had once been broad, drawn in now over, the collapsed ruin of the chest. Martin got two tumblers, and fell to reading the book of verse, Henry Vaughn Marlow's latest collection.




"No Scotch," Brissenden announced on his return. "The beggar sells nothing but American whiskey. But here's a quart of it."




"I'll send one of the youngsters for lemons, and we'll make a toddy," Martin offered.




"I wonder what a book like that will earn Marlow?" he went on, holding up the volume in question.




"Possibly fifty dollars," came the answer. "Though he's lucky if he pulls even on it, or if he can inveigle a publisher to risk bringing it out."




"Then one can't make a living out of poetry?"




Martin's tone and face alike showed his dejection.




"Certainly not. What fool expects to? Out of rhyming, yes. There's Bruce, and Virginia Spring, and Sedgwick. They do very nicely. But poetry - do you know how Vaughn Marlow makes his living? - teaching in a boys' cramming-joint down in Pennsylvania, and of all private little hells such a billet is the limit. I wouldn't trade places with him if he had fifty years of life before him. And yet his work stands out from the ruck of the contemporary versifiers as a balas ruby among carrots. And the reviews he gets! Damn them, all of them, the crass manikins!"




"Too much is written by the men who can't write about the men who do write," Martin concurred. "Why, I was appalled at the quantities of rubbish written about Stevenson and his work."




"Ghouls and harpies!" Brissenden snapped out with clicking teeth. "Yes, I know the spawn - complacently pecking at him for his Father Damien letter, analyzing him, weighing him - "




"Measuring him by the yardstick of their own miserable egos," Martin broke in.




"Yes, that's it, a good phrase, - mouthing and besliming the True, and Beautiful, and Good, and finally patting him on the back and saying, 'Good dog, Fido.' Faugh! 'The little chattering daws of men,' Richard Realf called them the night he died."




"Pecking at star-dust," Martin took up the strain warmly; "at the meteoric flight of the master-men. I once wrote a squib on them - the critics, or the reviewers, rather."




"Let's see it," Brissenden begged eagerly.




So Martin unearthed a carbon copy of "Star-dust," and during the reading of it Brissenden chuckled, rubbed his hands, and forgot to sip his toddy.




"Strikes me you're a bit of star-dust yourself, flung into a world of cowled gnomes who cannot see," was his comment at the end of it. "Of course it was snapped up by the first magazine?"




Martin ran over the pages of his manuscript book. "It has been refused by twenty-seven of them."




Brissenden essayed a long and hearty laugh, but broke down in a fit of coughing.




"Say, you needn't tell me you haven't tackled poetry," he gasped. "Let me see some of it."




"Don't read it now," Martin pleaded. "I want to talk with you. I'll make up a bundle and you can take it home."




Brissenden departed with the "Love-cycle," and "The Peri and the Pearl," returning next day to greet Martin with:-




"I want more."




Not only did he assure Martin that he was a poet, but Martin learned that Brissenden also was one. He was swept off his feet by the other's work, and astounded that no attempt had been made to publish it.




"A plague on all their houses!" was Brissenden's answer to Martin's volunteering to market his work for him. "Love Beauty for its own sake," was his counsel, "and leave the magazines alone. Back to your ships and your sea - that's my advice to you, Martin Eden. What do you want in these sick and rotten cities of men? You are cutting your throat every day you waste in them trying to prostitute beauty to the needs of magazinedom. What was it you quoted me the other day? - Oh, yes, 'Man, the latest of the ephemera.' Well, what do you, the latest of the ephemera, want with fame? If you got it, it would be poison to you. You are too simple, took elemental, and too rational, by my faith, to prosper on such pap. I hope you never do sell a line to the magazines. Beauty is the only master to serve. Serve her and damn the multitude! Success! What in hell's success if it isn't right there in your Stevenson sonnet, which outranks Henley's 'Apparition,' in that 'Love-cycle,' in those sea-poems?




"It is not in what you succeed in doing that you get your joy, but in the doing of it. You can't tell me. I know it. You know it. Beauty hurts you. It is an everlasting pain in you, a wound that does not heal, a knife of flame. Why should you palter with magazines? Let beauty be your end. Why should you mint beauty into gold? Anyway, you can't; so there's no use in my getting excited over it. You can read the magazines for a thousand years and you won't find the value of one line of Keats. Leave fame and coin alone, sign away on a ship to-morrow, and go back to your sea."




"Not for fame, but for love," Martin laughed. "Love seems to have no place in your Cosmos; in mine, Beauty is the handmaiden of Love."




Brissenden looked at him pityingly and admiringly. "You are so young, Martin boy, so young. You will flutter high, but your wings are of the finest gauze, dusted with the fairest pigments. Do not scorch them. But of course you have scorched them already. It required some glorified petticoat to account for that 'Love-cycle,' and that's the shame of it."




"It glorifies love as well as the petticoat," Martin laughed.




"The philosophy of madness," was the retort. "So have I assured myself when wandering in hasheesh dreams. But beware. These bourgeois cities will kill you. Look at that den of traitors where I met you. Dry rot is no name for it. One can't keep his sanity in such an atmosphere. It's degrading. There's not one of them who is not degrading, man and woman, all of them animated stomachs guided by the high intellectual and artistic impulses of clams - "




He broke off suddenly and regarded Martin. Then, with a flash of divination, he saw the situation. The expression on his face turned to wondering horror.




"And you wrote that tremendous 'Love-cycle' to her - that pale, shrivelled, female thing!"




The next instant Martin's right hand had shot to a throttling clutch on his throat, and he was being shaken till his teeth rattled. But Martin, looking into his eyes, saw no fear there, - naught but a curious and mocking devil. Martin remembered himself, and flung Brissenden, by the neck, sidelong upon the bed, at the same moment releasing his hold.




Brissenden panted and gasped painfully for a moment, then began to chuckle.




"You had made me eternally your debtor had you shaken out the flame," he said.




"My nerves are on a hair-trigger these days," Martin apologized. "Hope I didn't hurt you. Here, let me mix a fresh toddy."




"Ah, you young Greek!" Brissenden went on. "I wonder if you take just pride in that body of yours. You are devilish strong. You are a young panther, a lion cub. Well, well, it is you who must pay for that strength."




"What do you mean?" Martin asked curiously, passing aim a glass. "Here, down this and be good."




"Because - " Brissenden sipped his toddy and smiled appreciation of it. "Because of the women. They will worry you until you die, as they have already worried you, or else I was born yesterday. Now there's no use in your choking me; I'm going to have my say. This is undoubtedly your calf love; but for Beauty's sake show better taste next time. What under heaven do you want with a daughter of the bourgeoisie? Leave them alone. Pick out some great, wanton flame of a woman, who laughs at life and jeers at death and loves one while she may. There are such women, and they will love you just as readily as any pusillanimous product of bourgeois sheltered life."




"Pusillanimous?" Martin protested.




"Just so, pusillanimous; prattling out little moralities that have been prattled into them, and afraid to live life. They will love you, Martin, but they will love their little moralities more. What you want is the magnificent abandon of life, the great free souls, the blazing butterflies and not the little gray moths. Oh, you will grow tired of them, too, of all the female things, if you are unlucky enough to live. But you won't live. You won't go back to your ships and sea; therefore, you'll hang around these pest-holes of cities until your bones are rotten, and then you'll die."




"You can lecture me, but you can't make me talk back," Martin said. "After all, you have but the wisdom of your temperament, and the wisdom of my temperament is just as unimpeachable as yours."




They disagreed about love, and the magazines, and many things, but they liked each other, and on Martin's part it was no less than a profound liking. Day after day they were together, if for no more than the hour Brissenden spent in Martin's stuffy room. Brissenden never arrived without his quart of whiskey, and when they dined together down-town, he drank Scotch and soda throughout the meal. He invariably paid the way for both, and it was through him that Martin learned the refinements of food, drank his first champagne, and made acquaintance with Rhenish wines.




But Brissenden was always an enigma. With the face of an ascetic, he was, in all the failing blood of him, a frank voluptuary. He was unafraid to die, bitter and cynical of all the ways of living; and yet, dying, he loved life, to the last atom of it. He was possessed by a madness to live, to thrill, "to squirm my little space in the cosmic dust whence I came," as he phrased it once himself. He had tampered with drugs and done many strange things in quest of new thrills, new sensations. As he told Martin, he had once gone three days without water, had done so voluntarily, in order to experience the exquisite delight of such a thirst assuaged. Who or what he was, Martin never learned. He was a man without a past, whose future was the imminent grave and whose present was a bitter fever of living.
紧接着玛利亚在第二天下午又因马丁的第二个客人而激动了。这一次她不再手忙脚乱,因为她把布里森登请到她那接待贵宾的豪华客厅里坐下了。

“我来拜访你不会介意吧?”布里森登说道。

“不,不,一点也不,”马丁一面和他握手一面回答,然后挥手请他在唯一的椅子上坐了下来。自己坐在了床上。“你是怎么知道我的地址的?”

“给莫尔斯家打了电话,莫尔斯小姐回了话,我就来了。”他从外衣口袋里扯出一本薄薄的书扔在桌上。“有一个诗人的集子。读一读吧,送给你了。”接着,他回答马丁的抗议道:“我拿书有什么用?今天早上我又吐了一次血。有威士忌么?没有,当然。等一等。”

他转身便走掉了。马丁望着他那瘦长的身影蜇下了外面的台阶,发现在他转身关门时那原本宽阔的肩膀已在塔拉的胸膛两边垂落,不禁感到心酸。马丁拿出了两个酒杯,开始读起那诗集,那是亨利·伏恩·马罗最新的集于。

“没有苏格兰威士忌,”布里森登回来说,“那叫花子除了美国威士忌什么也没有。只好买了一夸脱。”

“我打发一个小家伙去买点柠檬,我们做柠檬威士忌甜酒喝,”马丁建议。

“我不知道像这样一本书能给马罗带来什么?”马丁拿起诗集说下去。

“也许五十元吧,”回答是,“如果他能收支平衡,或是能骗到个出版家冒险给他出版,就算是万幸的了。”

“那么说,靠写诗吃饭是不行的了?”

马丁的口气和脸色都显得沮丧。

“当然不行,哪个傻瓜会那么想呢?凑凑韵能吃饭,比如布路斯、弗吉尼亚·斯普玲,还有塞季成克。要写诗么,你知道伏恩·马罗靠什么过日于?——靠远在宾夕法尼亚州一个填鸭式的男校教书。在所有私立的小地狱里这种地方是最糟糕的。哪怕他还能活五十年我也不愿意跟他交换地位。但是他的作品在同时代的凑韵诗人里可是有如胡萝卜堆里的红宝石。但是对他的评论呢!全他妈的扯谈,一批愚蠢的休儒写的!”

“是些不知道怎样评论作品的人写的,这种人太多了,”马丁表示赞成。“研究史蒂文森和他的作品的卑劣之作就太多,多得叫我害怕。”

“吃死人的僵尸,女身鸟爪怪!”布里森登咬牙切齿地叫道,“是的,我知道这帮妖精。因为他为达米安神甫写的那封信就得意扬扬地啄他的肉,撕扯他,折磨他——”

“以小人之心度君子之腹。”马丁插嘴说。

‘对,这话正好不过——满嘴真善美却糟蹋着真善美,最后还拍拍真善美它的肩膀说,‘好狗好狗,忠心耿耿。’滚吧!理查·瑞尔夫弥留那天晚上把他们叫做:喳喳叫的小乌鸦,叫对了。”

“在大师们流星一般迅速地飞翔时,”马丁热情地接下话头,“专跟星尘找茬的家伙。我写过一篇文章讽刺他们——那些找茬专家,亦称书评家。”

“让我看看。”布里森登兴致勃勃地提出要求。

于是马丁翻找出一份复写的《星尘》,布里森登一边读一边格格地笑,搓着手,忘掉了威士忌甜苏打。

“我的印象是:你就是一个坠落到凡间的星尘,被扔进一群戴了风帽的没有眼睛的作儒之间。”他看完稿子说,“当然,第一家杂志就会叼住它不放的。”

马丁翻了翻自己的稿件记录本。

“已经被二十七家杂志退了稿。”

布里森登开怀大笑,笑了许久,却痛苦地呛咳起来。

“喂,你用不着告诉我说你没有写过诗,”他喘着大气说,“拿几首来看看。”

“现在先别看,”马丁请求,“我还想和你谈谈。我把诗扎成一扎,你带回去看。”

布级森登带走了《爱情组诗》和《仙女与珍珠》,第二天地回来了,对马丁提出:——

“再给我一点。”

他肯定马丁是个诗人,也让马丁知道了他也是个诗人。马丁被他的作品弄得神魂颠倒,却大吃了一惊,原来他根本没有打算拿它们去发表。

“让那些出版社滚蛋吧!”马丁主动要求帮他投稿,他却回答。“为美而爱美吧,”他劝告说,“别去找杂志社了。回到你的船上去,海上去——这是我对你的忠告,马丁·伊登。你在把日于一天一天地浪费,想把美当婊子出卖,去满足杂志王国的要求。那只是在割自己的脖子而已。你那天对我引用过的话是谁说的?——哦,对了,‘人呀,最后的蜉蝣。’你这个‘最后的蜉蝣’拿名气来干什么?你要是出了名,反倒会中毒的。照我看你太年纯,太本色,太理智,靠这种东西是好不起来的。我倒希望你一行也没有法子卖给杂志。你要侍奉的唯一主人就是美。侍奉他吧,让苦芙众生下地狱去!成功!你的成功已经在你的《爱情组诗种为斯蒂文森写的那首十四行诗里了,已经在你那些海洋诗里了。那不是成功是什么?那比亨雷的《幽灵》还要好呢。

“你获得欢乐不在取得成功,而在写作本身。你不会告诉我,可我明白,你也知道美煎熬着你,使你永远痛苦,是个无法痊愈的伤口,是一把烈焰熊熊的利剑。你干吗去和杂志打交道?就把美当作你的目标好了,为什么要把它变作黄金?好在你做不到,我倒不必激动。读上一千年杂志,你发现的价值也比不上一行济慈的诗。丢开金钱和名誉吧,明天就签合同上船去,回到你的大海去。”

“不是为了名誉,而是为了爱情,”马丁哈哈大笑,“在你的宇宙里似乎没有爱情的地位;可在我的宇宙里,美不过是爱情的婢女。”

布里森登怜悯地也佩服地望望他。“你这么年轻,马丁孩子,这么年轻。你想高飞,可是你的翅膀是最精致的薄绍做的,画上了最美丽的颜色。可别让它们给烧焦了,当然,你已经把它们烧焦了。要解释那些爱情诗需要找一个打扮得光彩照人的小姐,丢脸的地方就在这儿。”

“让小见光彩照人,也让爱情光彩照人。”马丁哈哈大笑。

“疯狂的哲学,”对方驳斥道,“我在那些风魔的梦里也拿这话安慰过自己。可你要小心,这些资产阶级的城市是会杀死你的。你看看那个生意人的南吧,我是在那里遇见你的。说它腐朽是不够的,在它那气氛里人就清醒不了,它叫人堕落,没有一个人不堕落,男的,女的,全都是些行尸走肉,指引他们的是跟蚌亮一样的聪明和艺术冲动——”

他突然住了嘴,望了望马丁,然后灵机一动,明白过来。脸上的表情变作了惶惑的恐怖。

“你那惊人之作《爱情组诗》原来是为她写的,为那个苍白、干瘪的女人写的!”

转瞬之间马丁的右手已经伸出,紧紧攫住了布里森登的喉头,直摇得他的牙齿答答作响。可是马丁在他的服服却没有看见丝毫畏惧——除了一副惊奇与嘲弄的魔鬼表情之外什么也没有。马丁这才回过神来,揪住脖子一把把布里森登横摔在床上,才放了手。

布里森登痛苦地、大口大口地喘了一会地气,格格地笑了/

“你若是把我那点火焰摇灭了,我可要永远感谢你了。”他说。

“我这些日子烦得快要爆炸了,”马丁道歉说,“希望没有伤害了你。来,让我新调一杯甜威士忌苏打吧。”

“啊,好个棒小伙!”布里森登说了下去,“我不知道你是否以你那副身坯为骄傲。体壮得像个魔鬼,是只小豹子,小狮子。好了好了,你得为你那身力气付出代价的。”

“你是什么意思?”马丁好奇地问,递给他一杯饮料。“喝了吧,以后乖乖的。”

“因为——”布里森登啜着甜酒,很欣赏,微笑了。“因为女人。她们会缠住你,直到把你缠死。她们已经缠过你了,要不然我就算是昨天才出世的奶娃。你把我掐死也没有用;我有话还得说。毫无疑问这是你的童稚之恋;为了美的缘故,下一回回味可要高一点。你拿一个资产阶级小姐有什么用?别沾她们的边。找一个嘲笑生活。戏弄死亡、说爱就爱、火一样燃烧的了不起的女人去爱吧,这样的女人有的是,她们会爱你,不亚于任何一个资产阶级闺阁里培养出的娇小姐。”

“娇小姐?”马丁抗议。

“对,就是娇,娇娇滴滴地说些从别人那里听来的道德信条,害怕生活。她们会爱你,马丁,但是她们会更爱她们那些琐碎的道德信条。你需要的是痛快淋漓不受压抑的生活,是伟大的自由的灵魂,是绚烂的蝴蝶,而不是灰色的小飞蛾。哦,所有那些女人都会叫你厌烦的,如果你倒了霉,老是不死的话。不过你不肯生活,不肯回到你的海洋和船上去;因此就绕着城市里这些瘟疫的洞窟转,等到你腐败到骨头里的时候,你就会死去。”

“你可以训斥我,但是你无法让我跟你辩论,”马丁说,“归根到底你的见解来自你的性格,而我这来自我自己性格的见解也和你的一样无懈可击。”

两人在对待爱情、杂志和许多问题上的看法都有分歧,但是两人彼此却很喜欢,而马丁的喜欢又很深沉。他们俩天天见面,尽管有时只是布里森登在马丁那令人气闷的屋里呆上一小时。布里森登每一次未必要带一夸脱酒,两人在市中心吃饭时他从头到尾总喝威士忌苏打。他总是付两人的车费,马丁是通过他才明白了食物的美妙的。他喝到了第一杯香按,也见识了莱因葡萄酒。

但是布里森登永远是个谜。他一脸苦行僧相,体质也越来越弱,可他却是个毫不讳言的酒色之徒。他不畏惧死,对种种生活方式都辛辣尖刻,愤世嫉俗,但是他虽然快要死去,却仍然热爱生命,丝毫不放。一种要活下去、要快活地活下去的狂热攫住了他。他要“在我所从来的宇宙尘埃的空间里玩个够。”他有一次这么说。为了追求新的刺激和感受,他玩过毒品,做过许多古怪的事。他还告诉马丁他曾经三天不喝水。那是自愿的,为了要体验极端的口渴解除时的奇妙的欢乐。马丁从来不知道他是什么人,从哪儿来。他是个没有过去的人;他的未来是即将出现的坟墓;而他的现在就是生活里这苦涩的狂热。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 33楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  33


Martin was steadily losing his battle. Economize as he would, the earnings from hack-work did not balance expenses. Thanksgiving found him with his black suit in pawn and unable to accept the Morses' invitation to dinner. Ruth was not made happy by his reason for not coming, and the corresponding effect on him was one of desperation. He told her that he would come, after all; that he would go over to San Francisco, to the TRANSCONTINENTAL office, collect the five dollars due him, and with it redeem his suit of clothes.




In the morning he borrowed ten cents from Maria. He would have borrowed it, by preference, from Brissenden, but that erratic individual had disappeared. Two weeks had passed since Martin had seen him, and he vainly cudgelled his brains for some cause of offence. The ten cents carried Martin across the ferry to San Francisco, and as he walked up Market Street he speculated upon his predicament in case he failed to collect the money. There would then be no way for him to return to Oakland, and he knew no one in San Francisco from whom to borrow another ten cents.




The door to the TRANSCONTINENTAL office was ajar, and Martin, in the act of opening it, was brought to a sudden pause by a loud voice from within, which exclaimed:- "But that is not the question, Mr. Ford." (Ford, Martin knew, from his correspondence, to be the editor's name.) "The question is, are you prepared to pay? - cash, and cash down, I mean? I am not interested in the prospects of the TRANSCONTINENTAL and what you expect to make it next year. What I want is to be paid for what I do. And I tell you, right now, the Christmas TRANSCONTINENTAL don't go to press till I have the money in my hand. Good day. When you get the money, come and see me."




The door jerked open, and the man flung past Martin, with an angry countenance and went down the corridor, muttering curses and clenching his fists. Martin decided not to enter immediately, and lingered in the hallways for a quarter of an hour. Then he shoved the door open and walked in. It was a new experience, the first time he had been inside an editorial office. Cards evidently were not necessary in that office, for the boy carried word to an inner room that there was a man who wanted to see Mr. Ford. Returning, the boy beckoned him from halfway across the room and led him to the private office, the editorial sanctum. Martin's first impression was of the disorder and cluttered confusion of the room. Next he noticed a bewhiskered, youthful-looking man, sitting at a roll-top desk, who regarded him curiously. Martin marvelled at the calm repose of his face. It was evident that the squabble with the printer had not affected his equanimity.




"I - I am Martin Eden," Martin began the conversation. ("And I want my five dollars," was what he would have liked to say.)




But this was his first editor, and under the circumstances he did not desire to scare him too abruptly. To his surprise, Mr. Ford leaped into the air with a "You don't say so!" and the next moment, with both hands, was shaking Martin's hand effusively.




"Can't say how glad I am to see you, Mr. Eden. Often wondered what you were like."




Here he held Martin off at arm's length and ran his beaming eyes over Martin's second-best suit, which was also his worst suit, and which was ragged and past repair, though the trousers showed the careful crease he had put in with Maria's flat-irons.




"I confess, though, I conceived you to be a much older man than you are. Your story, you know, showed such breadth, and vigor, such maturity and depth of thought. A masterpiece, that story - I knew it when I had read the first half-dozen lines. Let me tell you how I first read it. But no; first let me introduce you to the staff."




Still talking, Mr. Ford led him into the general office, where he introduced him to the associate editor, Mr. White, a slender, frail little man whose hand seemed strangely cold, as if he were suffering from a chill, and whose whiskers were sparse and silky.




"And Mr. Ends, Mr. Eden. Mr. Ends is our business manager, you know."




Martin found himself shaking hands with a cranky-eyed, bald-headed man, whose face looked youthful enough from what little could be seen of it, for most of it was covered by a snow-white beard, carefully trimmed - by his wife, who did it on Sundays, at which times she also shaved the back of his neck.




The three men surrounded Martin, all talking admiringly and at once, until it seemed to him that they were talking against time for a wager.




"We often wondered why you didn't call," Mr. White was saying.




"I didn't have the carfare, and I live across the Bay," Martin answered bluntly, with the idea of showing them his imperative need for the money.




Surely, he thought to himself, my glad rags in themselves are eloquent advertisement of my need. Time and again, whenever opportunity offered, he hinted about the purpose of his business. But his admirers' ears were deaf. They sang his praises, told him what they had thought of his story at first sight, what they subsequently thought, what their wives and families thought; but not one hint did they breathe of intention to pay him for it.




"Did I tell you how I first read your story?" Mr. Ford said. "Of course I didn't. I was coming west from New York, and when the train stopped at Ogden, the train-boy on the new run brought aboard the current number of the TRANSCONTINENTAL."




My God! Martin thought; you can travel in a Pullman while I starve for the paltry five dollars you owe me. A wave of anger rushed over him. The wrong done him by the TRANSCONTINENTAL loomed colossal, for strong upon him were all the dreary months of vain yearning, of hunger and privation, and his present hunger awoke and gnawed at him, reminding him that he had eaten nothing since the day before, and little enough then. For the moment he saw red. These creatures were not even robbers. They were sneak-thieves. By lies and broken promises they had tricked him out of his story. Well, he would show them. And a great resolve surged into his will to the effect that he would not leave the office until he got his money. He remembered, if he did not get it, that there was no way for him to go back to Oakland. He controlled himself with an effort, but not before the wolfish expression of his face had awed and perturbed them.




They became more voluble than ever. Mr. Ford started anew to tell how he had first read "The Ring of Bells," and Mr. Ends at the same time was striving to repeat his niece's appreciation of "The Ring of Bells," said niece being a school-teacher in Alameda.




"I'll tell you what I came for," Martin said finally. "To be paid for that story all of you like so well. Five dollars, I believe, is what you promised me would be paid on publication."




Mr. Ford, with an expression on his mobile features of mediate and happy acquiescence, started to reach for his pocket, then turned suddenly to Mr. Ends, and said that he had left his money home. That Mr. Ends resented this, was patent; and Martin saw the twitch of his arm as if to protect his trousers pocket. Martin knew that the money was there.




"I am sorry," said Mr. Ends, "but I paid the printer not an hour ago, and he took my ready change. It was careless of me to be so short; but the bill was not yet due, and the printer's request, as a favor, to make an immediate advance, was quite unexpected."




Both men looked expectantly at Mr. White, but that gentleman laughed and shrugged his shoulders. His conscience was clean at any rate. He had come into the TRANSCONTINENTAL to learn magazine- literature, instead of which he had principally learned finance. The TRANSCONTINENTAL owed him four months' salary, and he knew that the printer must be appeased before the associate editor.




"It's rather absurd, Mr. Eden, to have caught us in this shape," Mr. Ford preambled airily. "All carelessness, I assure you. But I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll mail you a check the first thing in the morning. You have Mr. Eden's address, haven't you, Mr. Ends?"




Yes, Mr. Ends had the address, and the check would be mailed the first thing in the morning. Martin's knowledge of banks and checks was hazy, but he could see no reason why they should not give him the check on this day just as well as on the next.




"Then it is understood, Mr. Eden, that we'll mail you the check to- morrow?" Mr. Ford said.




"I need the money to-day," Martin answered stolidly.




"The unfortunate circumstances - if you had chanced here any other day," Mr. Ford began suavely, only to be interrupted by Mr. Ends, whose cranky eyes justified themselves in his shortness of temper.




"Mr. Ford has already explained the situation," he said with asperity. "And so have I. The check will be mailed - "




"I also have explained," Martin broke in, "and I have explained that I want the money to-day."




He had felt his pulse quicken a trifle at the business manager's brusqueness, and upon him he kept an alert eye, for it was in that gentleman's trousers pocket that he divined the TRANSCONTINENTAL'S ready cash was reposing.




"It is too bad - " Mr. Ford began.




But at that moment, with an impatient movement, Mr. Ends turned as if about to leave the room. At the same instant Martin sprang for him, clutching him by the throat with one hand in such fashion that Mr. Ends' snow-white beard, still maintaining its immaculate trimness, pointed ceilingward at an angle of forty-five degrees. To the horror of Mr. White and Mr. Ford, they saw their business manager shaken like an Astrakhan rug.




"Dig up, you venerable discourager of rising young talent!" Martin exhorted. "Dig up, or I'll shake it out of you, even if it's all in nickels." Then, to the two affrighted onlookers: "Keep away! If you interfere, somebody's liable to get hurt."




Mr. Ends was choking, and it was not until the grip on his throat was eased that he was able to signify his acquiescence in the digging-up programme. All together, after repeated digs, its trousers pocket yielded four dollars and fifteen cents.




"Inside out with it," Martin commanded.




An additional ten cents fell out. Martin counted the result of his raid a second time to make sure.




"You next!" he shouted at Mr. Ford. "I want seventy-five cents more."




Mr. Ford did not wait, but ransacked his pockets, with the result of sixty cents.




"Sure that is all?" Martin demanded menacingly, possessing himself of it. "What have you got in your vest pockets?"




In token of his good faith, Mr. Ford turned two of his pockets inside out. A strip of cardboard fell to the floor from one of them. He recovered it and was in the act of returning it, when Martin cried:-




"What's that? - A ferry ticket? Here, give it to me. It's worth ten cents. I'll credit you with it. I've now got four dollars and ninety-five cents, including the ticket. Five cents is still due me."




He looked fiercely at Mr. White, and found that fragile creature in the act of handing him a nickel.




"Thank you," Martin said, addressing them collectively. "I wish you a good day."




"Robber!" Mr. Ends snarled after him.




"Sneak-thief!" Martin retorted, slamming the door as he passed out.




Martin was elated - so elated that when he recollected that THE HORNET owed him fifteen dollars for "The Peri and the Pearl," he decided forthwith to go and collect it. But THE HORNET was run by a set of clean-shaven, strapping young men, frank buccaneers who robbed everything and everybody, not excepting one another. After some breakage of the office furniture, the editor (an ex-college athlete), ably assisted by the business manager, an advertising agent, and the porter, succeeded in removing Martin from the office and in accelerating, by initial impulse, his descent of the first flight of stairs.




"Come again, Mr. Eden; glad to see you any time," they laughed down at him from the landing above.




Martin grinned as he picked himself up.




"Phew!" he murmured back. "The TRANSCONTINENTAL crowd were nanny- goats, but you fellows are a lot of prize-fighters."




More laughter greeted this.




"I must say, Mr. Eden," the editor of THE HORNET called down, "that for a poet you can go some yourself. Where did you learn that right cross - if I may ask?"




"Where you learned that half-Nelson," Martin answered. "Anyway, you're going to have a black eye."




"I hope your neck doesn't stiffen up," the editor wished solicitously: "What do you say we all go out and have a drink on it - not the neck, of course, but the little rough-house?"




"I'll go you if I lose," Martin accepted.




And robbers and robbed drank together, amicably agreeing that the battle was to the strong, and that the fifteen dollars for "The Peri and the Pearl" belonged by right to THE HORNET'S editorial staff.




CHAPTER XXXIII 




Martin was steadily losing his battle. Economize as he would, the earnings from hack-work did not balance expenses. Thanksgiving found him with his black suit in pawn and unable to accept the Morses' invitation to dinner. Ruth was not made happy by his reason for not coming, and the corresponding effect on him was one of desperation. He told her that he would come, after all; that he would go over to San Francisco, to the TRANSCONTINENTAL office, collect the five dollars due him, and with it redeem his suit of clothes.




In the morning he borrowed ten cents from Maria. He would have borrowed it, by preference, from Brissenden, but that erratic individual had disappeared. Two weeks had passed since Martin had seen him, and he vainly cudgelled his brains for some cause of offence. The ten cents carried Martin across the ferry to San Francisco, and as he walked up Market Street he speculated upon his predicament in case he failed to collect the money. There would then be no way for him to return to Oakland, and he knew no one in San Francisco from whom to borrow another ten cents.




The door to the TRANSCONTINENTAL office was ajar, and Martin, in the act of opening it, was brought to a sudden pause by a loud voice from within, which exclaimed:- "But that is not the question, Mr. Ford." (Ford, Martin knew, from his correspondence, to be the editor's name.) "The question is, are you prepared to pay? - cash, and cash down, I mean? I am not interested in the prospects of the TRANSCONTINENTAL and what you expect to make it next year. What I want is to be paid for what I do. And I tell you, right now, the Christmas TRANSCONTINENTAL don't go to press till I have the money in my hand. Good day. When you get the money, come and see me."




The door jerked open, and the man flung past Martin, with an angry countenance and went down the corridor, muttering curses and clenching his fists. Martin decided not to enter immediately, and lingered in the hallways for a quarter of an hour. Then he shoved the door open and walked in. It was a new experience, the first time he had been inside an editorial office. Cards evidently were not necessary in that office, for the boy carried word to an inner room that there was a man who wanted to see Mr. Ford. Returning, the boy beckoned him from halfway across the room and led him to the private office, the editorial sanctum. Martin's first impression was of the disorder and cluttered confusion of the room. Next he noticed a bewhiskered, youthful-looking man, sitting at a roll-top desk, who regarded him curiously. Martin marvelled at the calm repose of his face. It was evident that the squabble with the printer had not affected his equanimity.




"I - I am Martin Eden," Martin began the conversation. ("And I want my five dollars," was what he would have liked to say.)




But this was his first editor, and under the circumstances he did not desire to scare him too abruptly. To his surprise, Mr. Ford leaped into the air with a "You don't say so!" and the next moment, with both hands, was shaking Martin's hand effusively.




"Can't say how glad I am to see you, Mr. Eden. Often wondered what you were like."




Here he held Martin off at arm's length and ran his beaming eyes over Martin's second-best suit, which was also his worst suit, and which was ragged and past repair, though the trousers showed the careful crease he had put in with Maria's flat-irons.




"I confess, though, I conceived you to be a much older man than you are. Your story, you know, showed such breadth, and vigor, such maturity and depth of thought. A masterpiece, that story - I knew it when I had read the first half-dozen lines. Let me tell you how I first read it. But no; first let me introduce you to the staff."




Still talking, Mr. Ford led him into the general office, where he introduced him to the associate editor, Mr. White, a slender, frail little man whose hand seemed strangely cold, as if he were suffering from a chill, and whose whiskers were sparse and silky.




"And Mr. Ends, Mr. Eden. Mr. Ends is our business manager, you know."




Martin found himself shaking hands with a cranky-eyed, bald-headed man, whose face looked youthful enough from what little could be seen of it, for most of it was covered by a snow-white beard, carefully trimmed - by his wife, who did it on Sundays, at which times she also shaved the back of his neck.




The three men surrounded Martin, all talking admiringly and at once, until it seemed to him that they were talking against time for a wager.




"We often wondered why you didn't call," Mr. White was saying.




"I didn't have the carfare, and I live across the Bay," Martin answered bluntly, with the idea of showing them his imperative need for the money.




Surely, he thought to himself, my glad rags in themselves are eloquent advertisement of my need. Time and again, whenever opportunity offered, he hinted about the purpose of his business. But his admirers' ears were deaf. They sang his praises, told him what they had thought of his story at first sight, what they subsequently thought, what their wives and families thought; but not one hint did they breathe of intention to pay him for it.




"Did I tell you how I first read your story?" Mr. Ford said. "Of course I didn't. I was coming west from New York, and when the train stopped at Ogden, the train-boy on the new run brought aboard the current number of the TRANSCONTINENTAL."




My God! Martin thought; you can travel in a Pullman while I starve for the paltry five dollars you owe me. A wave of anger rushed over him. The wrong done him by the TRANSCONTINENTAL loomed colossal, for strong upon him were all the dreary months of vain yearning, of hunger and privation, and his present hunger awoke and gnawed at him, reminding him that he had eaten nothing since the day before, and little enough then. For the moment he saw red. These creatures were not even robbers. They were sneak-thieves. By lies and broken promises they had tricked him out of his story. Well, he would show them. And a great resolve surged into his will to the effect that he would not leave the office until he got his money. He remembered, if he did not get it, that there was no way for him to go back to Oakland. He controlled himself with an effort, but not before the wolfish expression of his face had awed and perturbed them.




They became more voluble than ever. Mr. Ford started anew to tell how he had first read "The Ring of Bells," and Mr. Ends at the same time was striving to repeat his niece's appreciation of "The Ring of Bells," said niece being a school-teacher in Alameda.




"I'll tell you what I came for," Martin said finally. "To be paid for that story all of you like so well. Five dollars, I believe, is what you promised me would be paid on publication."




Mr. Ford, with an expression on his mobile features of mediate and happy acquiescence, started to reach for his pocket, then turned suddenly to Mr. Ends, and said that he had left his money home. That Mr. Ends resented this, was patent; and Martin saw the twitch of his arm as if to protect his trousers pocket. Martin knew that the money was there.




"I am sorry," said Mr. Ends, "but I paid the printer not an hour ago, and he took my ready change. It was careless of me to be so short; but the bill was not yet due, and the printer's request, as a favor, to make an immediate advance, was quite unexpected."




Both men looked expectantly at Mr. White, but that gentleman laughed and shrugged his shoulders. His conscience was clean at any rate. He had come into the TRANSCONTINENTAL to learn magazine- literature, instead of which he had principally learned finance. The TRANSCONTINENTAL owed him four months' salary, and he knew that the printer must be appeased before the associate editor.




"It's rather absurd, Mr. Eden, to have caught us in this shape," Mr. Ford preambled airily. "All carelessness, I assure you. But I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll mail you a check the first thing in the morning. You have Mr. Eden's address, haven't you, Mr. Ends?"




Yes, Mr. Ends had the address, and the check would be mailed the first thing in the morning. Martin's knowledge of banks and checks was hazy, but he could see no reason why they should not give him the check on this day just as well as on the next.




"Then it is understood, Mr. Eden, that we'll mail you the check to- morrow?" Mr. Ford said.




"I need the money to-day," Martin answered stolidly.




"The unfortunate circumstances - if you had chanced here any other day," Mr. Ford began suavely, only to be interrupted by Mr. Ends, whose cranky eyes justified themselves in his shortness of temper.




"Mr. Ford has already explained the situation," he said with asperity. "And so have I. The check will be mailed - "




"I also have explained," Martin broke in, "and I have explained that I want the money to-day."




He had felt his pulse quicken a trifle at the business manager's brusqueness, and upon him he kept an alert eye, for it was in that gentleman's trousers pocket that he divined the TRANSCONTINENTAL'S ready cash was reposing.




"It is too bad - " Mr. Ford began.




But at that moment, with an impatient movement, Mr. Ends turned as if about to leave the room. At the same instant Martin sprang for him, clutching him by the throat with one hand in such fashion that Mr. Ends' snow-white beard, still maintaining its immaculate trimness, pointed ceilingward at an angle of forty-five degrees. To the horror of Mr. White and Mr. Ford, they saw their business manager shaken like an Astrakhan rug.




"Dig up, you venerable discourager of rising young talent!" Martin exhorted. "Dig up, or I'll shake it out of you, even if it's all in nickels." Then, to the two affrighted onlookers: "Keep away! If you interfere, somebody's liable to get hurt."




Mr. Ends was choking, and it was not until the grip on his throat was eased that he was able to signify his acquiescence in the digging-up programme. All together, after repeated digs, its trousers pocket yielded four dollars and fifteen cents.




"Inside out with it," Martin commanded.




An additional ten cents fell out. Martin counted the result of his raid a second time to make sure.




"You next!" he shouted at Mr. Ford. "I want seventy-five cents more."




Mr. Ford did not wait, but ransacked his pockets, with the result of sixty cents.




"Sure that is all?" Martin demanded menacingly, possessing himself of it. "What have you got in your vest pockets?"




In token of his good faith, Mr. Ford turned two of his pockets inside out. A strip of cardboard fell to the floor from one of them. He recovered it and was in the act of returning it, when Martin cried:-




"What's that? - A ferry ticket? Here, give it to me. It's worth ten cents. I'll credit you with it. I've now got four dollars and ninety-five cents, including the ticket. Five cents is still due me."




He looked fiercely at Mr. White, and found that fragile creature in the act of handing him a nickel.




"Thank you," Martin said, addressing them collectively. "I wish you a good day."




"Robber!" Mr. Ends snarled after him.




"Sneak-thief!" Martin retorted, slamming the door as he passed out.




Martin was elated - so elated that when he recollected that THE HORNET owed him fifteen dollars for "The Peri and the Pearl," he decided forthwith to go and collect it. But THE HORNET was run by a set of clean-shaven, strapping young men, frank buccaneers who robbed everything and everybody, not excepting one another. After some breakage of the office furniture, the editor (an ex-college athlete), ably assisted by the business manager, an advertising agent, and the porter, succeeded in removing Martin from the office and in accelerating, by initial impulse, his descent of the first flight of stairs.




"Come again, Mr. Eden; glad to see you any time," they laughed down at him from the landing above.




Martin grinned as he picked himself up.




"Phew!" he murmured back. "The TRANSCONTINENTAL crowd were nanny- goats, but you fellows are a lot of prize-fighters."




More laughter greeted this.




"I must say, Mr. Eden," the editor of THE HORNET called down, "that for a poet you can go some yourself. Where did you learn that right cross - if I may ask?"




"Where you learned that half-Nelson," Martin answered. "Anyway, you're going to have a black eye."




"I hope your neck doesn't stiffen up," the editor wished solicitously: "What do you say we all go out and have a drink on it - not the neck, of course, but the little rough-house?"




"I'll go you if I lose," Martin accepted.




And robbers and robbed drank together, amicably agreeing that the battle was to the strong, and that the fifteen dollars for "The Peri and the Pearl" belonged by right to THE HORNET'S editorial staff.
马丁的战斗节节败退。他尽量节省,可下锅之作的进项仍然入不敷出。感恩节时他的黑色拜客服又进了当铺,无法接受莫尔斯家的邀请去参加宴会。他不能参加宴会的理由使露丝很不高兴,这就逼得他破釜沉舟了。他告诉她他归根到底是准定会去的。他要到旧金山的《跨越大陆》杂志社去讨还他们欠他的五块钱,拿那钱去赎衣服。

早上他向玛利亚借了一毛钱——他倒愿意从布里森登借,但是那怪人却失踪了。马丁上次见他之后已经两个礼拜,他绞尽脑计要想出在什么地方得罪了他,却没有结果。那一毛钱让马丁过了轮渡,到了旧金山。在地沿着市场街走着的时候,心里考虑着要是收不到钱自己的狼狈处境。那他就无法回奥克兰了,而他在旧金山又没有熟人,没有地方再借一毛钱。

《跨越大陆》办公室的门虚掩着,马丁正打算开门,屋里突然高叫了起来,他急忙住了手。那声音在说:——

“可是问题不在这儿,福特先生!”(马丁从信函来往知道福特是编辑的名字。)问题在你们是否打算给钱?——现钱,现付,我的意思是。我对《跨越大陆》的远景和你打算明年把它办成什么样子不感兴趣。我要的是干工作得付报酬。而且我告诉你,现在就要。钱不到我手里,圣诞节这期《跨越大陆》就不开印。再见,有了钱再来找我。”

门猛地打开了,那人满脸怒气从马丁身边擦过,沿着走廊走去,嘴里骂着,擤着拳头。马丁决定暂不进去,他在门厅里逗留了半小时,这才推门进入。那是个新的体验,他是第一次进入一家编辑室。在那个办公室里显然用不着名片,因为那小厮到一间里屋去通报了有人要见福特先生,回来时半路就招呼他过去,然后引他进了那间个人办公室——编辑的专用房间。马丁的第一个印象是那屋子杂乱无章。然后他看见了一个长连鬓胡子的、相貌年轻的编辑坐在一张带卷边桌面的办公桌边,好奇地打量着他。马丁为他脸上的平静安详感到惊讶。和印刷商的吵闹显然没有扰乱他的方寸。

“找——我是马丁·伊登,”马丁开始了谈话。(他恨不得马上就悦:“我要我的那五块钱。”但这是他见到的第一个编辑,在当时情况下他不愿太意外地惊扰他。可令他大吃一惊的是,福特先生却跳了起来,叫道:“难道真是你么!”而且立即双手摸住他,和他热情洋溢地握起了来。

“见了你真有说不出的高兴,伊登先生。我常常在猜想你是个什么样子呢!”

此时他伸直手推开他,用喜气洋洋的眼睛打量起他那套次好的服装,也就是最差的服装来。那衣服褴褛得无法修补,虽然他用玛利亚的熨斗把裤子仔细熨出了棱角。

“不过,我得承认,找把你的年龄估计得大了许多。你的小说表现了]”阔的胸怀、气魄和成熟,还有思维的深度,是一部杰作——我只读了五六行就看出来了。让我来告诉你我最初是怎么读到的吧。不过,别忙,让我先介绍你和我的同事们认识。”

福特先生说着话领他进了大办公室,把他介绍给了副编辑怀传先生,一个细瘦的衰弱的小个于,手仿佛在发寒病,冷得奇特,稀稀落落的连鬓胡闪着丝一样的光。

“还有恩孜先生,这是伊登先生。恩孜先生是我们的业务经理,你知道。”

马丁发现和自己握手的是一个目光闪烁不定的秃头。那人脸上看得见的部分显得年轻——大部分面孔都叫雪白的胡须遮住了。那胡须修剪得很仔细——是他的妻子星期天修的,她也修剪了他的后颈窝。

三个人包围了马丁,一律说起赞扬的话来,直说到马丁感觉他们曾打过赌,比赛谁说话最卖劲。

“我们常常奇怪你怎么不来看看我们。”怀特先生说。

“我没有车费,我住在海湾对面,”马丁开门见山地说,想让他们明白他迫切地需要钱。

当然,他心想,我这身漂亮的破衣服本身就是强有力的广告,可以告诉他们找多么需要钱。

一有机会他就向他们暗示他此来的目的。他一再暗示,阻他的崇拜者们却是些聋子。他们大唱着赞歌,告诉他他们第一眼看见他的作品时是如何想的,以后又是如何想的,他们的老婆和家里人又是如何想的。只是一点点也没有表示给他稿费的意思。

“我告诉了你我是怎么第一次读你的作品的么?”福特先生说,“当然,还没有。我从纽约往西回来,火车到了奥格登,下一班乘务员把最新一期《跨越大陆》拿上了火车。”

天呀!你倒在坐豪华列车旅行,我却在为你们欠我的那可怜的五块钱挨饿。一阵怒火猛然升起,《跨越大陆》叫他受的委屈急剧膨胀,多少个月来他凄凄凉凉空空地等待,忍饥受苦,现在他的饥饿也醒了过来,咬啮着他,提醒他他从昨天就没有吃饭,而最后的那一顿也吃得很少。他不禁发起狂来。这些家伙甚至不是强盗,而是鬼鬼祟祟的小偷。他们用谎言和空头许诺骗走了他的小说。哼,他得给他们个好看。他下定了最大的决心不拿到钱决不离开办公室。他又想起如果得不到钱他就无法回到奥克兰去。他努力克制住自己,可他脸上那狼一样的表情已经吓得他们心慌意乱。

他们越来越夸夸其谈。福特先生重新谈起他第一次读到《钟声激越》的情况;恩孜先生也同时努力重复他的侄女对《钟声激越》的欣赏,并说他侄女在阿拉美达做教师。

“我来告诉你们我的来意吧,”马丁终于说了,“我是来拿你们大家都那么喜欢的那篇小说的稿费的。五块钱,我相信,这就是你们答应在发表之后给我的报酬。”

福特先生灵活的眉眼立即欢欢喜喜表示同意,伸手摸向口袋,却突然转身对恩孜先生说他把钱忘在家里了。恩孜先生显然不高兴;马丁看见他手一动,好像要保护他的裤子口袋,明白了他的钱就在那儿。

“对不起,”恩孜先生说,“可是我不到一小时以前付了印刷费,现金用光了。一不小心就拿不出钱了;支票还没有到期,印刷所老板却求我帮忙,立即预支给他。事出意外。”

两人都眼巴巴望着怀特先生,但是那位先生却笑了,耸了耸肩。他至少问心无愧。他当初到《跨越大陆》原想学习杂志文学,可到头来他主要学的却是财务周转。《跨越大陆》欠了他四个月的薪,他明白先得满足了印刷所老板才轮得到他这个副编辑。

“叫你撞见我们这种情况,真是有点荒乎其唐,伊登先生,”福特先生笑眯眯地说开了。“我向你保证,完全是意外,不过,我可以告诉你我们怎么办。明天早上我们第一件事就是给你寄支票去。你有伊登先生的地址的,是么,思孜先生?”

不错,恩孜先生有地址,明天早上第一件事就是寄支票。马丁对于银行和支票的事不大明白,可他也看不出他们有什么理由今天不给他支票,而要等到明天。

“那就是说,得到了伊登先生的谅解,明天给你寄去支票?”

“我今天就需要钱,”马丁顽强地说。

“情况太不巧了,你哪天来都——”福特先生彬彬有礼地说,却叫恩孜先生打断了。恩孜先生的急躁脾气证实了他那急躁的眼神。

“福特先生已经解释过了,”他粗暴地说,“我也讲得很明白。支票明天就——”

“我也已经解释过了,”马丁插嘴说,“我解释过我今天就得要钱。”

那位业务经理的蛮横使马丁的脉搏加快了跳动,同时他也警惕地注视着,因为他已经猜到《跨越大陆》的现金就躺在那家伙的裤子口袋里。

“非常不巧——”福特先生开始了。

这时恩孜先生却做了个不耐烦的动作,转过身去,好像打算开溜。马丁立即跳了过去,一手揪住了他的喉咙,揪得恩孜先生那依然一尘不染的白胡须向大花板翘起,呈四十五度角。怀特和福特两位先生看见他们的业务经理叫他像摇阿斯特拉罕地毯一样摇撼着,简直吓坏了。

“掏出来,你这压制年轻天才的老混蛋!”马丁追逼着,“掏呀,否则我就给你摇晃出来。哪怕全是五分的镍币也行。”然后又对那吓坏了的两位看客叫道,“让开!谁要来干涉,可别怪我不客气。”

恩孜先生呛得透不过气来,直到喉咙上的手放松了一些,才算说出了话,表示同意掏钱。他掏了又掏,从他的裤子口袋里一共掏出了四块一毛五分钱。

“翻口袋!”马丁命令。

又掉下来一毛钱。为了稳妥起见,马丁再数了一下他此番袭击的收入。

“你是下一个!”他对福特先生下达命令,“我还得收七毛五分。”

福特先生不敢怠慢,急忙掏腰包。掏出了六毛钱。

“就这么点?”马丁气势汹汹地追问,拿过了钱。“你背心口袋里有没有?”

为了表明心迹,福特先生把两个口袋都翻了过来。一张硬纸片从口袋里掉到地板上。他捡了起来,正要放回口袋,马丁叫道:——

“是什么?——轮渡票?这儿,给我,也值一毛钱呢。也算是你还的。我现在得到了四块九毛五,还差五分。”

他狠狠地望着怀特先生,望着那弱不禁风的先生递给他一个五分的镍币。

“谢谢,”马丁对他们三个人说,“再见。”

“强盗!”恩孜先生对着他的背影说。

“小偷!”马丁反驳说.砰地一声关上门,走了出去。

马丁飘飘然了,他想起《大黄蜂》还欠他十五块钱《仙女与珍珠》的稿费,决定如法炮制。但是《大黄蜂》却是一帮脸上刮得光光的健壮青年办的,都是些公然的海盗.谁都抢,什么都抢,连彼此都抢。打破了一些家具之后.编辑在业务经理和广告代理人和门房的有力协助下终于把马丁搡出了办公室,那最初的一搡竟把他送下了第一道阶梯。

“欢迎再来,马丁先生,欢迎你任何时候光临。”他们居高临下从梯口平台对他叫道。

马丁爬了起来,却咧开嘴笑着。

“嗨哟!”他对他们嘟哝道,“《跨越大陆》那帮人全是些母羊,你们倒是些拳击能手。”

回答他这话的是更多的笑声。

“我得说,伊登先生,”《大黄蜂》的编辑俯身叫道,“作为诗人你倒还真有两手。请问,你那手右推挡是从哪儿学来的?”

“就从你学到你那后锁颈的地方学来的,”马丁回答,“总之能打得你鼻青眼黑。”

“你脖子没有僵硬吧,我担心,”编辑关心地问,“咱们一块出去喝一杯庆祝庆祝怎么样?——当然不是庆祝脖子僵硬,是庆祝这一套开打戏。”

“我若是喝不过你们,就由我请客,”马丁接受了。

于是打劫的和被打劫的杯酒言和,双方亲切地同意了强者必胜的道理,《仙女与珍珠》那十五块钱稿费理所当然地归了《大黄蜂》编辑部。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 34楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  34


Arthur remained at the gate while Ruth climbed Maria's front steps. She heard the rapid click of the type-writer, and when Martin let her in, found him on the last page of a manuscript. She had come to make certain whether or not he would be at their table for Thanksgiving dinner; but before she could broach the subject Martin plunged into the one with which he was full.




"Here, let me read you this," he cried, separating the carbon copies and running the pages of manuscript into shape. "It's my latest, and different from anything I've done. It is so altogether different that I am almost afraid of it, and yet I've a sneaking idea it is good. You be judge. It's an Hawaiian story. I've called it 'Wiki-wiki.'"




His face was bright with the creative glow, though she shivered in the cold room and had been struck by the coldness of his hands at greeting. She listened closely while he read, and though he from time to time had seen only disapprobation in her face, at the close he asked:-




"Frankly, what do you think of it?"




"I - I don't know," she, answered. "Will it - do you think it will sell?"




"I'm afraid not," was the confession. "It's too strong for the magazines. But it's true, on my word it's true."




"But why do you persist in writing such things when you know they won't sell?" she went on inexorably. "The reason for your writing is to make a living, isn't it?"




"Yes, that's right; but the miserable story got away with me. I couldn't help writing it. It demanded to be written."




"But that character, that Wiki-Wiki, why do you make him talk so roughly? Surely it will offend your readers, and surely that is why the editors are justified in refusing your work."




"Because the real Wiki-Wiki would have talked that way."




"But it is not good taste."




"It is life," he replied bluntly. "It is real. It is true. And I must write life as I see it."




She made no answer, and for an awkward moment they sat silent. It was because he loved her that he did not quite understand her, and she could not understand him because he was so large that he bulked beyond her horizon




"Well, I've collected from the TRANSCONTINENTAL," he said in an effort to shift the conversation to a more comfortable subject. The picture of the bewhiskered trio, as he had last seen them, mulcted of four dollars and ninety cents and a ferry ticket, made him chuckle.




"Then you'll come!" she cried joyously. "That was what I came to find out."




"Come?" he muttered absently. "Where?"




"Why, to dinner to-morrow. You know you said you'd recover your suit if you got that money."




"I forgot all about it," he said humbly. "You see, this morning the poundman got Maria's two cows and the baby calf, and - well, it happened that Maria didn't have any money, and so I had to recover her cows for her. That's where the TRANSCONTINENTAL fiver went - 'The Ring of Bells' went into the poundman's pocket."




"Then you won't come?"




He looked down at his clothing.




"I can't."




Tears of disappointment and reproach glistened in her blue eyes, but she said nothing.




"Next Thanksgiving you'll have dinner with me in Delmonico's," he said cheerily; "or in London, or Paris, or anywhere you wish. I know it."




"I saw in the paper a few days ago," she announced abruptly, "that there had been several local appointments to the Railway Mail. You passed first, didn't you?"




He was compelled to admit that the call had come for him, but that he had declined it. "I was so sure - I am so sure - of myself," he concluded. "A year from now I'll be earning more than a dozen men in the Railway Mail. You wait and see."




"Oh," was all she said, when he finished. She stood up, pulling at her gloves. "I must go, Martin. Arthur is waiting for me."




He took her in his arms and kissed her, but she proved a passive sweetheart. There was no tenseness in her body, her arms did not go around him, and her lips met his without their wonted pressure.




She was angry with him, he concluded, as he returned from the gate. But why? It was unfortunate that the poundman had gobbled Maria's cows. But it was only a stroke of fate. Nobody could be blamed for it. Nor did it enter his head that he could have done aught otherwise than what he had done. Well, yes, he was to blame a little, was his next thought, for having refused the call to the Railway Mail. And she had not liked "Wiki-Wiki."




He turned at the head of the steps to meet the letter-carrier on his afternoon round. The ever recurrent fever of expectancy assailed Martin as he took the bundle of long envelopes. One was not long. It was short and thin, and outside was printed the address of THE NEW YORK OUTVIEW. He paused in the act of tearing the envelope open. It could not be an acceptance. He had no manuscripts with that publication. Perhaps - his heart almost stood still at the - wild thought - perhaps they were ordering an article from him; but the next instant he dismissed the surmise as hopelessly impossible.




It was a short, formal letter, signed by the office editor, merely informing him that an anonymous letter which they had received was enclosed, and that he could rest assured the OUTVIEW'S staff never under any circumstances gave consideration to anonymous correspondence.




The enclosed letter Martin found to be crudely printed by hand. It was a hotchpotch of illiterate abuse of Martin, and of assertion that the "so-called Martin Eden" who was selling stories to magazines was no writer at all, and that in reality he was stealing stories from old magazines, typing them, and sending them out as his own. The envelope was postmarked "San Leandro." Martin did not require a second thought to discover the author. Higginbotham's grammar, Higginbotham's colloquialisms, Higginbotham's mental quirks and processes, were apparent throughout. Martin saw in every line, not the fine Italian hand, but the coarse grocer's fist, of his brother-in-law.




But why? he vainly questioned. What injury had he done Bernard Higginbotham? The thing was so unreasonable, so wanton. There was no explaining it. In the course of the week a dozen similar letters were forwarded to Martin by the editors of various Eastern magazines. The editors were behaving handsomely, Martin concluded. He was wholly unknown to them, yet some of them had even been sympathetic. It was evident that they detested anonymity. He saw that the malicious attempt to hurt him had failed. In fact, if anything came of it, it was bound to be good, for at least his name had been called to the attention of a number of editors. Sometime, perhaps, reading a submitted manuscript of his, they might remember him as the fellow about whom they had received an anonymous letter. And who was to say that such a remembrance might not sway the balance of their judgment just a trifle in his favor?




It was about this time that Martin took a great slump in Maria's estimation. He found her in the kitchen one morning groaning with pain, tears of weakness running down her cheeks, vainly endeavoring to put through a large ironing. He promptly diagnosed her affliction as La Grippe, dosed her with hot whiskey (the remnants in the bottles for which Brissenden was responsible), and ordered her to bed. But Maria was refractory. The ironing had to be done, she protested, and delivered that night, or else there would be no food on the morrow for the seven small and hungry Silvas.




To her astonishment (and it was something that she never ceased from relating to her dying day), she saw Martin Eden seize an iron from the stove and throw a fancy shirt-waist on the ironing-board. It was Kate Flanagan's best Sunday waist, than whom there was no more exacting and fastidiously dressed woman in Maria's world. Also, Miss Flanagan had sent special instruction that said waist must be delivered by that night. As every one knew, she was keeping company with John Collins, the blacksmith, and, as Maria knew privily, Miss Flanagan and Mr. Collins were going next day to Golden Gate Park. Vain was Maria's attempt to rescue the garment. Martin guided her tottering footsteps to a chair, from where she watched him with bulging eyes. In a quarter of the time it would have taken her she saw the shirt-waist safely ironed, and ironed as well as she could have done it, as Martin made her grant.




"I could work faster," he explained, "if your irons were only hotter."




To her, the irons he swung were much hotter than she ever dared to use.




"Your sprinkling is all wrong," he complained next. "Here, let me teach you how to sprinkle. Pressure is what's wanted. Sprinkle under pressure if you want to iron fast."




He procured a packing-case from the woodpile in the cellar, fitted a cover to it, and raided the scrap-iron the Silva tribe was collecting for the junkman. With fresh-sprinkled garments in the box, covered with the board and pressed by the iron, the device was complete and in operation.




"Now you watch me, Maria," he said, stripping off to his undershirt and gripping an iron that was what he called "really hot."




"An' when he feenish da iron' he washa da wools," as she described it afterward. "He say, 'Maria, you are da greata fool. I showa you how to washa da wools,' an' he shows me, too. Ten minutes he maka da machine - one barrel, one wheel-hub, two poles, justa like dat."




Martin had learned the contrivance from Joe at the Shelly Hot Springs. The old wheel-hub, fixed on the end of the upright pole, constituted the plunger. Making this, in turn, fast to the spring- pole attached to the kitchen rafters, so that the hub played upon the woollens in the barrel, he was able, with one hand, thoroughly to pound them.




"No more Maria washa da wools," her story always ended. "I maka da kids worka da pole an' da hub an' da barrel. Him da smarta man, Mister Eden."




Nevertheless, by his masterly operation and improvement of her kitchen-laundry he fell an immense distance in her regard. The glamour of romance with which her imagination had invested him faded away in the cold light of fact that he was an ex-laundryman. All his books, and his grand friends who visited him in carriages or with countless bottles of whiskey, went for naught. He was, after all, a mere workingman, a member of her own class and caste. He was more human and approachable, but, he was no longer mystery.




Martin's alienation from his family continued. Following upon Mr. Higginbotham's unprovoked attack, Mr. Hermann von Schmidt showed his hand. The fortunate sale of several storiettes, some humorous verse, and a few jokes gave Martin a temporary splurge of prosperity. Not only did he partially pay up his bills, but he had sufficient balance left to redeem his black suit and wheel. The latter, by virtue of a twisted crank-hanger, required repairing, and, as a matter of friendliness with his future brother-in-law, he sent it to Von Schmidt's shop.




The afternoon of the same day Martin was pleased by the wheel being delivered by a small boy. Von Schmidt was also inclined to be friendly, was Martin's conclusion from this unusual favor. Repaired wheels usually had to be called for. But when he examined the wheel, he discovered no repairs had been made. A little later in the day he telephoned his sister's betrothed, and learned that that person didn't want anything to do with him in "any shape, manner, or form."




"Hermann von Schmidt," Martin answered cheerfully, "I've a good mind to come over and punch that Dutch nose of yours."




"You come to my shop," came the reply, "an' I'll send for the police. An' I'll put you through, too. Oh, I know you, but you can't make no rough-house with me. I don't want nothin' to do with the likes of you. You're a loafer, that's what, an' I ain't asleep. You ain't goin' to do no spongin' off me just because I'm marryin' your sister. Why don't you go to work an' earn an honest livin', eh? Answer me that."




Martin's philosophy asserted itself, dissipating his anger, and he hung up the receiver with a long whistle of incredulous amusement. But after the amusement came the reaction, and he was oppressed by his loneliness. Nobody understood him, nobody seemed to have any use for him, except Brissenden, and Brissenden had disappeared, God alone knew where.




Twilight was falling as Martin left the fruit store and turned homeward, his marketing on his arm. At the corner an electric car had stopped, and at sight of a lean, familiar figure alighting, his heart leapt with joy. It was Brissenden, and in the fleeting glimpse, ere the car started up, Martin noted the overcoat pockets, one bulging with books, the other bulging with a quart bottle of whiskey.
亚瑟留在门日,露丝路上了玛利亚家门前的台阶。她听见打字机急速地敲打着,马丁请她进去时她发现他在打着最后一页稿子。她是来确定他是否去她家参加感恩节宴会的。但是不等她谈到本题,马丁已经谈开了他自己的题目,他满肚子就是他那题目。

“呐,让我读给你听,”他叫道,把复写的稿页分别整理好,“这是我最新的作品,和我已写过的任何作品都不相同。太不同了,连我都差不多害怕起来。不过我自以为不错。你来当当裁判吧。是一个夏威夷的故事。我叫它《威几威几》。”

虽然她在这寒冷的屋里冷得发抖,和他握手时也感到他的手冰凉,他仍然满脸闪亮,洋溢着创造的欢乐。他读,她细细地听,尽管他读时也见她脸上只有不以为然的表情,读完他仍然问道:——

“说真话,你的印象如何?”

“我——我不知道,”她回答,“它能不能——你认为它卖得掉么?”

“怕是卖不掉,”他承认,“投给杂志嫌太激烈。不过很实事求是,我保证它实事求是。”

“你明明知道卖不掉,为什么偏偏要写这种东西呢”她不客气地说,“你写作是为了生活,是么?”

“是的,不错,但是那悲惨的故事迷住了我,我忍不住要写。它逼着我非写不可。”

“可是你为什么让你那角色威几威几说话那么粗野?那肯定会叫读者不高兴,也确实说明了编辑们不肯发表你作品的理由。”

“因为真正的威几成几就是那么说话的。”

“不过品位就低了。”

“那是生活,”他直率地回答,“那是现实的,是真正的。我必须按照我见到的生活的原样写作。”

她没有回答。两人尴尬地坐了一会儿。他不理解她是因为太爱她;而他却太宏大,远在她的地平线之外。

“我已经从《跨越大陆》收到欠款了,”他努力转入一个较为轻松的话题,他所见到的三个连鬓胡叫他抢走了四块九毛钱外加一张轮渡票的景象使他不禁格格地笑了。

“那么你是要来的喽!”她快活地叫了起来,“我就是为明确这个问题才来的。”

“来?”他心不在焉地咕哝道,“到哪儿?”

“怎么,来赴宴呀,你知道你说过要到那笔钱就把衣服赎出来。”

“我全忘了,”他乖乖地说,“你看,今天早上牲畜栏看守把玛利亚的两头母牛和牛犊牵走了,——可玛利亚一个钱也没有。我只好帮她赎回了牛。《跨越大陆》的五块钱花掉了。《钟声激越》进了畜栏看守的腰包。”

“那你是不来了么?”

他低头看着他的衣服。

“我来不了。”

她蓝色的服里闪烁起失望和责难的泪花,没有说话。

“明年感恩节我要你跟我到德梦尼可去吃大餐,”他快活地说,“或者是到伦敦、巴黎,或是你想去的任何地方。这我明白。”

“我几天以前在一张报纸上看见,”她突然宣布,“铁路邮局已发了几项当他的任命。你是以第一名考上的,是么?”

他只好承认给了他通知,却被他拒绝了。“那时我对自己很有信心,现在也一样,”他结束道,“一年以后我的收入要超过十二个邮务员。你等着瞧。”

他说完了话,她只“哦”了一声,便站了起来,拉拉手套。“我要走了,亚瑟还在等我呢。”

他伸手接过她来吻她,可她却被动,身体没有激情,胳臂拥抱不紧,接吻也不如平时那么用力。

他从门口回来时的结论是:她生气了。可为什么?畜栏看守把玛利亚的母牛牵走了,那很不幸,可那不过是命运的打击,不能怪任何人的。他也想不出除了他那做法之外还能有什么别的办法。是的,他应该受到埋怨,因为邮局给了他录取通知,他却没去,而且她也不喜欢恢几威几人

他在台阶顶上转过身来,去迎接下午那班邮件。他接过那一扎长信封时,一向就出现的期望的狂热又袭击了他。有一个信封不长,外面印好《纽约远眺》字样。他正要拆信,忽然打住了。那不可能是接受稿件的信。也许——一个异想天开的念头闪过,他的心几乎停止了跳动——说不足他们是向他约稿呢。可他随即丢掉了这念头,那是绝对不可能的。

那是一封官样文章的短信,由办公室编辑署名,只是通知他他们接到一封匿名信,附在信里寄了来;并通知他不必在意,《纽约远眺》编辑部在任何情况下也是不会考虑任何匿名信的意见的。

马丁发现那匿名信是手写的印刷体,写得很糟糕,是一些对马丁的没有教养的谩骂,硬说向各杂志兜售稿子的“所谓马丁·伊登”根本不是作家,实际上他是在从旧杂志上盗窃作品,把它们打出来据为己有往外投稿。信封上邮戳的地点是圣利安德罗。马丁不用多想就发现了那作者。那东西通篇显然都是希金波坦的语法,希金波坦的用语,希金波坦的奇谈怪论。马丁在每一行里看见的都是他姐夫那杂货店老板的粗糙的拳头,而不是他那意大利式的细小的字迹。

可他是为了什么?他百思不得其解。他什么地方得罪了希金波担了?这事太没有道理,太荒唐,无法解释。一周之内东部若干家杂志的编辑部都给他转来了十多封类必的信。马丁的结论是编辑们做得都很漂亮,他们谁都不认识地,可有几个对他还颇表同情。他们显然憎恶匿名信。他明白要想伤害他的阴谋是失败了。实际上此事如果有什么后果,那就只能是好后果,目为他的名字已引起了许多编辑的注意。以后他们读到他的稿子说不定会想起他就是他们曾收到过的匿名信所投诉的人。这样一回忆谁又能说得清它不会影响他们的判断,让他的稿子沾点光呢。

大约就在这个时候马丁的身份在玛利亚的心目中却一落千丈。有天早上玛利亚在厨房里痛苦地呻吟,软弱的眼泪沿着面颊往下流,却仍力不从心地熨烫着一大披衣服。他立即诊断她是害了流感,给她喝了热威士忌(那是布里森登带来的几瓶酒里剩下的),然后命令她躺到床上去。但是玛利亚不肯,她抗议说衣服非烫完不可,当天晚上就要送去,否则明天早上七个饥饿的小西尔伐就没有饭吃。

令玛利亚大吃一惊的是看见马丁·伊登从炉子里抓起一把熨斗,又把一件花哨的连衣裙扔到熨烫板上(这事地老讲个没完,一直到她死去)。那可是凯特·美兰纳百的星期日盛装,而在玛利亚的世界里谁的穿着也比不上她更仔细,更挑剔;何况她还专门带了信来要求那件连衣裙当天晚上必须送去。大家鄙知道她正在跟铁匠约翰·科林斯谈恋爱,玛利亚还悄悄地知道芙兰纳村小姐和科林斯先生明天要到金门公园去玩。玛利亚企图抢救那件连衣裙,但是没有办法。她歪歪倒倒地被马丁扶到一张椅子上坐下,在那里瞪大眼望着他。她眼见他只花了她四分之一的时间就把连衣裙平安无事地熨烫好了,而且不得不向马丁承认他烫得不比地差。

“我可以烫得更快,”他说.“若是你的熨斗烧得更烫的活。”

可那挥舞在他手上的熨斗已经比她敢用的那种熨斗烫了许多。

“你喷水也完全不得法,”他接下去又抱怨,“来,让我来教你怎么喷水。需要压力,要想熨烫得快,就得用力喷。”

他从地客的木料堆里找出了一个打包箱,装上盖子,又在西尔伐家的孩子们搞来准备卖给废品商的废料里搜刮了一番。刚喷过水的衣服放进箱子,盖上熨烫板,然后用熨斗熨,那设计就像这样完成了,可以用了。

“现在你看我,玛利亚,”他说,脱得只剩下一件贴身衬衫,抓起一把他认为“真烧烫了”的熨斗。

“他烫完衣服又洗毛线,”她后来叙述说,“他说,‘玛利亚,你是个大笨蛋,我来教教你洗毛线,’然后就教了我。他十分钟就做好了这部机器——一个桶,一个轮毂,两根杆子,就像那样。”

那设计是马丁在雪莉温泉旅馆从乔那里学来的。轮毂固定在一根垂直的杆子上,构成了春祥,然后把这东西固定在厨房的梁上,让轮载拍打水桶里的毛线衣物,只需要一只手他就可以通通拍打个够。

“我玛利亚以后再也不用洗毛线了,”她的故事总是这样结束,“我只叫娃娃们弄轮毂和水桶就行了。他这人可灵巧,伊登先生。”

可是,马丁的这手精湛的功夫和对她厨房洗衣间的改进却叫他在玛利亚眼中的身分一落千丈。她的想像给他博士的浪漫色彩在现实的冷冰冰的光照前暗淡了下去——原来他以前不过是个洗衣工。于是他那所有的书籍,他那坐了漂亮马车或是带了不知多少瓶威士忌酒来看他的阔朋友都不算回事了。他不过是个工人而已,跟她同一个阶级,同一个层次。他更亲切了,更好接近了,可再也不神秘了。

马丁跟他的家人越来越疏远了。随着希金波坦先生那无端的攻击之后,赫尔曼·冯·史密特先生电摊了牌。马丁在侥幸卖掉几篇小小说。几首俏皮诗和几个笑话之后有过一段短暂的春风得意的时期。他不但还掉了一部分旧帐,还剩下几块钱把黑衣服和自行车赎了回来。自行车的曲轴歪了,需要修理。为了对他未来的妹夫表示好感他把车送到了冯·史密特的修理店。

当天下午那车就由一个小孩送了回来。马丁很高兴,从这番不同寻常的优待马丁得到的结论是;冯·史密特也有表示好感的意思,修理自行车一般是得自己去取的。可是他一检查,却发现车并没有修。他立即给妹妹的未婚夫打了电话,这才知道了那人并不愿意跟他“有仔何形式、任何关系和任何状态的交往”。

“赫尔曼·冯·史密特,”马丁快活地回答道;“我倒真想来会会你,揍你那荷兰鼻子一顿呢。”

“你只要一来我的铺子,我就叫警察,”回答是,“我还得戳穿你的真相。我明白你是什么样的人,可你别想来惹事生非。我不愿意跟你这号人打交道。你这个懒虫,你就是懒,我可不糊涂,你别因为我要娶你的妹妹就想来占什么便宜。你为什么不老老实实去干活?哎,回答呀片

马丁的哲学起了作用,它赶走了他的愤怒,他吹了一声长长的口哨,觉得难以相信的滑稽,桂掉了电话。可随着他的滑稽之感来的是另一种反应,一阵寂寞压上他的心头。谁也不理解他,谁对他都似乎没有用处,除了布里森登之外,而布里森登又不见了,只有上帝才知道到哪里去了。

马丁抱着买来的东西离开水果店回家时,大巴斯黑。路边有一辆电车停了下来,他看见一个熟悉的瘦削身影下了电车,心里不禁欢乐地跳跃起来。是布里森登。在电车起动之前的短暂的一瞥里地注意到布里森登外衣的口袋鼓鼓囊囊的,一边塞着书,一边是一瓶一夸脱装的威士忌酒。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 35楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  35


Brissenden gave no explanation of his long absence, nor did Martin pry into it. He was content to see his friend's cadaverous face opposite him through the steam rising from a tumbler of toddy.




"I, too, have not been idle," Brissenden proclaimed, after hearing Martin's account of the work he had accomplished.




He pulled a manuscript from his inside coat pocket and passed it to Martin, who looked at the title and glanced up curiously.




"Yes, that's it," Brissenden laughed. "Pretty good title, eh? 'Ephemera' - it is the one word. And you're responsible for it, what of your MAN, who is always the erected, the vitalized inorganic, the latest of the ephemera, the creature of temperature strutting his little space on the thermometer. It got into my head and I had to write it to get rid of it. Tell me what you think of it."




Martin's face, flushed at first, paled as he read on. It was perfect art. Form triumphed over substance, if triumph it could be called where the last conceivable atom of substance had found expression in so perfect construction as to make Martin's head swim with delight, to put passionate tears into his eyes, and to send chills creeping up and down his back. It was a long poem of six or seven hundred lines, and it was a fantastic, amazing, unearthly thing. It was terrific, impossible; and yet there it was, scrawled in black ink across the sheets of paper. It dealt with man and his soul-gropings in their ultimate terms, plumbing the abysses of space for the testimony of remotest suns and rainbow spectrums. It was a mad orgy of imagination, wassailing in the skull of a dying man who half sobbed under his breath and was quick with the wild flutter of fading heart-beats. The poem swung in majestic rhythm to the cool tumult of interstellar conflict, to the onset of starry hosts, to the impact of cold suns and the flaming up of nebular in the darkened void; and through it all, unceasing and faint, like a silver shuttle, ran the frail, piping voice of man, a querulous chirp amid the screaming of planets and the crash of systems.




"There is nothing like it in literature," Martin said, when at last he was able to speak. "It's wonderful! - wonderful! It has gone to my head. I am drunken with it. That great, infinitesimal question - I can't shake it out of my thoughts. That questing, eternal, ever recurring, thin little wailing voice of man is still ringing in my ears. It is like the dead-march of a gnat amid the trumpeting of elephants and the roaring of lions. It is insatiable with microscopic desire. I now I'm making a fool of myself, but the thing has obsessed me. You are - I don't know what you are - you are wonderful, that's all. But how do you do it? How do you do it?"




Martin paused from his rhapsody, only to break out afresh.




"I shall never write again. I am a dauber in clay. You have shown me the work of the real artificer-artisan. Genius! This is something more than genius. It transcends genius. It is truth gone mad. It is true, man, every line of it. I wonder if you realize that, you dogmatist. Science cannot give you the lie. It is the truth of the sneer, stamped out from the black iron of the Cosmos and interwoven with mighty rhythms of sound into a fabric of splendor and beauty. And now I won't say another word. I am overwhelmed, crushed. Yes, I will, too. Let me market it for you."




Brissenden grinned. "There's not a magazine in Christendom that would dare to publish it - you know that."




"I know nothing of the sort. I know there's not a magazine in Christendom that wouldn't jump at it. They don't get things like that every day. That's no mere poem of the year. It's the poem of the century."




"I'd like to take you up on the proposition."




"Now don't get cynical," Martin exhorted. "The magazine editors are not wholly fatuous. I know that. And I'll close with you on the bet. I'll wager anything you want that 'Ephemera' is accepted either on the first or second offering."




"There's just one thing that prevents me from taking you." Brissenden waited a moment. "The thing is big - the biggest I've ever done. I know that. It's my swan song. I am almighty proud of it. I worship it. It's better than whiskey. It is what I dreamed of - the great and perfect thing - when I was a simple young man, with sweet illusions and clean ideals. And I've got it, now, in my last grasp, and I'll not have it pawed over and soiled by a lot of swine. No, I won't take the bet. It's mine. I made it, and I've shared it with you."




"But think of the rest of the world," Martin protested. "The function of beauty is joy-making."




"It's my beauty."




"Don't be selfish."




"I'm not selfish." Brissenden grinned soberly in the way he had when pleased by the thing his thin lips were about to shape. "I'm as unselfish as a famished hog."




In vain Martin strove to shake him from his decision. Martin told him that his hatred of the magazines was rabid, fanatical, and that his conduct was a thousand times more despicable than that of the youth who burned the temple of Diana at Ephesus. Under the storm of denunciation Brissenden complacently sipped his toddy and affirmed that everything the other said was quite true, with the exception of the magazine editors. His hatred of them knew no bounds, and he excelled Martin in denunciation when he turned upon them.




"I wish you'd type it for me," he said. "You know how a thousand times better than any stenographer. And now I want to give you some advice." He drew a bulky manuscript from his outside coat pocket. "Here's your 'Shame of the Sun.' I've read it not once, but twice and three times - the highest compliment I can pay you. After what you've said about 'Ephemera' I must be silent. But this I will say: when 'The Shame of the Sun' is published, it will make a hit. It will start a controversy that will be worth thousands to you just in advertising."




Martin laughed. "I suppose your next advice will be to submit it to the magazines."




"By all means no - that is, if you want to see it in print. Offer it to the first-class houses. Some publisher's reader may be mad enough or drunk enough to report favorably on it. You've read the books. The meat of them has been transmuted in the alembic of Martin Eden's mind and poured into 'The Shame of the Sun,' and one day Martin Eden will be famous, and not the least of his fame will rest upon that work. So you must get a publisher for it - the sooner the better."




Brissenden went home late that night; and just as he mounted the first step of the car, he swung suddenly back on Martin and thrust into his hand a small, tightly crumpled wad of paper.




"Here, take this," he said. "I was out to the races to-day, and I had the right dope."




The bell clanged and the car pulled out, leaving Martin wondering as to the nature of the crinkly, greasy wad he clutched in his hand. Back in his room he unrolled it and found a hundred-dollar bill.




He did not scruple to use it. He knew his friend had always plenty of money, and he knew also, with profound certitude, that his success would enable him to repay it. In the morning he paid every bill, gave Maria three months' advance on the room, and redeemed every pledge at the pawnshop. Next he bought Marian's wedding present, and simpler presents, suitable to Christmas, for Ruth and Gertrude. And finally, on the balance remaining to him, he herded the whole Silva tribe down into Oakland. He was a winter late in redeeming his promise, but redeemed it was, for the last, least Silva got a pair of shoes, as well as Maria herself. Also, there were horns, and dolls, and toys of various sorts, and parcels and bundles of candies and nuts that filled the arms of all the Silvas to overflowing.




It was with this extraordinary procession trooping at his and Maria's heels into a confectioner's in quest if the biggest candy- cane ever made, that he encountered Ruth and her mother. Mrs. Morse was shocked. Even Ruth was hurt, for she had some regard for appearances, and her lover, cheek by jowl with Maria, at the head of that army of Portuguese ragamuffins, was not a pretty sight. But it was not that which hurt so much as what she took to be his lack of pride and self-respect. Further, and keenest of all, she read into the incident the impossibility of his living down his working-class origin. There was stigma enough in the fact of it, but shamelessly to flaunt it in the face of the world - her world - was going too far. Though her engagement to Martin had been kept secret, their long intimacy had not been unproductive of gossip; and in the shop, glancing covertly at her lover and his following, had been several of her acquaintances. She lacked the easy largeness of Martin and could not rise superior to her environment. She had been hurt to the quick, and her sensitive nature was quivering with the shame of it. So it was, when Martin arrived later in the day, that he kept her present in his breast-pocket, deferring the giving of it to a more propitious occasion. Ruth in tears - passionate, angry tears - was a revelation to him. The spectacle of her suffering convinced him that he had been a brute, yet in the soul of him he could not see how nor why. It never entered his head to be ashamed of those he knew, and to take the Silvas out to a Christmas treat could in no way, so it seemed to him, show lack of consideration for Ruth. On the other hand, he did see Ruth's point of view, after she had explained it; and he looked upon it as a feminine weakness, such as afflicted all women and the best of women.
布里森登没有解释他长期失踪的原因。马丁也没有问。他能透过从一大杯柠檬威士忌甜酒升起的水雾望见地朋友那瘦削凹陷的脸,已经心满意足了。

“我也没有闲着,”布里森登听马)讲过他已完成的工作之后宣布。

他从内面一件短衫的口袋里掏出了一份手稿给了马丁。马丁看了看标题,好奇地瞥了他一眼。

“对,就是它,”布里森登哈哈大笑。“挺漂亮的标题,是么?‘蜉蝣’,就是这个词。是从你那里来的,就从你的那个‘人’来的,那个永远直立的、被激活了的无机物,蜉蝣的最新形式,在温度计那小小的天地望高视阔步的有体温的生物。那东西钻进了我的脑子,为了把它打发掉我只好写了出来。告诉我你对它的看法。”

开始时马丁的股发红,但一读下去,便苍白了。那是十全十美的艺术。形式战胜了内容,如果还能叫做战胜的话。在那里凡能设想出的内容的每一个细节都获得了最完美的表现形式。马丁高兴得如醉如痴,热泪盈眶,却又感到一阵阵阴寒在背上起伏。那是一首六七百行的长诗,一部奇思逸想、令人震惊、不属于人世的诗作。它精彩之至,难以设想,可又分明存在,用黑色的墨水写在一张张纸上。那诗写的是人和他的灵魂在终极意义上的探索,他探索着宇宙空间的一个个深渊,寻求着最辽远处的一个个太阳和一道道霓虹光谱。那是想像力的疯狂的盛筵,在一个垂死的人的头脑里祝酒,垂死者气息奄奄地哭泣着,衰微不去的心脏却仍然狂跳。那诗以庄重的节奏振荡起伏,伴随着星际冲突的清冷的波涛、万千星宿的前进步伐、和无数冷冰冰的太阳的冲击,伴随着最黑暗的空虚望的星云的燃烧;而在这一切之间,却传来了入类微弱细小的声音,有如一支银梭,不断地、无力地呐喊着,在星球的呼啸和天体的撞击声中只不过是几声哀怨悲嗟的唧唧啾鸣。

“文学里还从没有过这样的作品!”马丁在终于能说话时说道,“惊人之作!——惊人!它钻进了我的脑袋,叫我沉醉。那伟大的浩瀚无涯的问题我是无法赶出脑袋了。人类那永远反复的追求的细弱的呐喊还在我的耳用震响,有如狮吼象吗之间的纹钢的丧葬进行曲。它怀着千百倍夸大的欲望,无从满足,我知道我是在把自己变成个傻瓜。但这个问题却叫我神魂颠四。你,你——我不知道怎么说你才好,可是你真了不起。可你是怎么写出来的?怎么写的?”

马丁暂停了他的狂欢颂,只是为了重新说下去。

“我再也不写东西了。我是个在泥涂里乱画的家伙。你已经让我看见了真正的艺术大师的作品。天才!比天才还高越,超过了天才。是疯魔的真理。是的,老兄,每一行都是的。我不知道你是否意识到这一点,你这个教条主义者。科学是不会骗人的。这是冷言冷语叙述的真理,是用宇宙的黑色铁玺印就的,是把声音的强大节奏织人光辉和美的织品里造成的。现在我再也没有话说了。我被征服了,粉碎了。不,我还有话说!让我给你找销路吧。”

布里森登满面笑容:“基督教世界纪还没有一份杂志敢于发表这诗呢——这你是知道的。”

‘哪类的事我不懂,但我知道基督教世界还没有一份杂志不会抢着要它。他们并不是每天都能得到这样的东西的。这不是这一年之冠,而是本世纪之冠。”

“我愿意拿你这说法和你打赌。”

“好了,可别那么愤世嫉俗,”马丁提出要求,“杂志编辑并非都那么昏庸,这我是知道的。我可以跟你用你想要的任何东西打赌,《蜉蝣》头一次或第二次投出去就会被采用的。”

“只有一个东西不让我跟你打赌,”布里森登想了一会儿,说:“我这诗很有分量——是我的作品里最有分量的,这我知道。它是我的天鹅之歌,我为它骄傲。我崇拜它甚于威士忌,它是我少年时梦寐以求的东西——完美元缺的伟大作品。那时我怀着甜蜜的幻想和纯洁的理想。现在我用我这最后的一把力气抓住了它。我可不愿意把它送出去让那些猪移胡乱蹂躏和玷污。不,我不打赌。它是我的。我创作了它,而且已经跟你分享了。”

“可你得想想世界上其他的人,”马丁抗议道,“美的功能原本就是给人享受。”

“可那美属于我。”

“别自私。”

“我并不自私,”布里森登冷静地笑了。他那薄薄的嘴唇有好笑的事想说就那么笑。“我可是跟一头俄急了的野猪一样大公无私呢。”

马丁想动摇他的决心,却没有如愿。马丁告诉他地对编辑们的仇恨太过激,太狂热,他的行为比烧掉了以弗所的狄安娜神庙的那个青年还要讨厌一千倍。布里森登心满意足地啜着他的柠檬威十忌甜酒,面对着谴责的风暴。他承认对方的活每一句都对,只是关于杂志编辑的活不对。他对他们怀着无穷的仇恨。一提起他们他的谴责的风暴便超过了马丁。

“我希望你为我把它打出来,”他说,“你打得比任何速记员都好一千倍。现在我要给你一个忠告。”他从外衣口袋掏出了一大摞稿子。“这是你的《太阳的耻辱》,我读过不是一次,而是两次三次——这可是我对你的最高赞美。在你说了关于蜉蝣的那些话之后我只好闭嘴了。可我还要说一句:《太阳的耻辱》发表之后一定会引起轰动。它一定会引起争论,光在宣传上那对你也要值千千万呢。”

马丁哈哈大笑:“我估计你下面就会要我把它寄给杂志了。”

“绝对不可以——就是说如果你想见它发表的话。把它寄给第一流的出版社。某个审稿人可能为它颠倒或是沉醉,做出有利的审稿报告。你读过了该读的书。那些书的精华已经被马丁·伊登提炼吸收,注入了《太阳的耻辱》。有一天马丁·伊甸会成名,而那部著作对他的名气的作用决不会小。因此你得为它找一个出版家——越早越好。”

那天晚上布望森登很晚才回家,他刚踏上车便转过身来塞在马丁手里一个捏得很紧的小纸团。

“喏,拿着,”他说,“我今天去赛了马,我有关于马的可靠内部情报。”

马车叮叮当当走掉了,让马丁留在那里猜想着他手里摸着的这个皱巴巴的纸团是什么意思。他回到屋里打开一看,原来是一张一百元的钞票。

他满不在乎地打算用这笔钱。他知道他的朋友一向有许多钱,也深信自己的成功能让他偿还这笔债。早上他还清了一切欠债;预付给了玛利亚三个月房租地赎回了当铺里的一切。然后他为茉莉安买了结婚礼物,为露丝和格特霞也买了适合圣诞节的较简单的礼物。最后他用剩下的钱把西尔伐一家请到奥克夫兰去,从西尔伐家最小的孩子到玛利亚各自都得到了一双鞋。他随行诺言晚了一冬,但他毕竟履行了。此外还买了喇叭、布娃娃、各种各样的玩具。还有大包小包的糖果,叫西尔伐全家的手臂几乎抱不住。

这一支与众不同的队伍跟在他和玛利亚身后浩浩荡荡地进了一家糖果店,要想寻找最大的手杖糖。正在此时他却碰见了露丝和她的妈妈。莫尔斯太太非常愤慨。就连露丝也受到了伤害,因为她有些顾脸面,而她的爱人却跟玛利亚那么亲亲热热,带了那么一帮衣衫褴褛的葡萄牙小叫花子,那样子真不体面,而最叫她难受的却是他在她眼里那种没有自尊和自爱的样子。还有,最叫她伤己的是她从这件事看到了他那工人阶级生活之叫人难堪。事实本身已经够丢人的了,他却还要不知羞耻地招摇过市——到她的世界里来。这未免太过分。她跟马丁的婚约虽然保了密,两人之间长期亲密的过从并非不会引起流言蜚语的。在那家铺子里已有好几个她的熟人悄悄地打量着她的情人和跟着他的那帮人。她缺少马丁那样广阔的心胸,不能超越自己环境。她受到了严重的伤害,他那敏感的天性因为那耻辱而颤抖。马丁当天晚些时候到了她家时,情况就像这样。马丁把礼物留在胸前口袋里,原想找一个较为有利的时机再拿出来。是露丝流起了眼泪,激动的愤怒的眼泪,才给了他启示的。她那泪眼婆娑的痛苦样子让他觉得自己是个野兽,可他从灵魂里却并不懂得问题词在,为了什么。他从来不会想到为自己的朋友感到害羞。他好像觉得圣诞节请西尔伐一家去挥霍一番不可能对露丝表现什么不体贴。反过来,就在露丝已经解释她的观点之后他也还莫名其妙,只把它看作是一种女性的弱点——一种一切妇女都有的毛病,包括最优秀的妇女在内。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  36


"Come on, - I'll show you the real dirt," Brissenden said to him, one evening in January.




They had dined together in San Francisco, and were at the Ferry Building, returning to Oakland, when the whim came to him to show Martin the "real dirt." He turned and fled across the water-front, a meagre shadow in a flapping overcoat, with Martin straining to keep up with him. At a wholesale liquor store he bought two gallon-demijohns of old port, and with one in each hand boarded a Mission Street car, Martin at his heels burdened with several quart-bottles of whiskey.




If Ruth could see me now, was his thought, while he wondered as to what constituted the real dirt.




"Maybe nobody will be there," Brissenden said, when they dismounted and plunged off to the right into the heart of the working-class ghetto, south of Market Street. "In which case you'll miss what you've been looking for so long."




"And what the deuce is that?" Martin asked.




"Men, intelligent men, and not the gibbering nonentities I found you consorting with in that trader's den. You read the books and you found yourself all alone. Well, I'm going to show you to-night some other men who've read the books, so that you won't be lonely any more."




"Not that I bother my head about their everlasting discussions," he said at the end of a block. "I'm not interested in book philosophy. But you'll find these fellows intelligences and not bourgeois swine. But watch out, they'll talk an arm off of you on any subject under the sun."




"Hope Norton's there," he panted a little later, resisting Martin's effort to relieve him of the two demijohns. "Norton's an idealist - a Harvard man. Prodigious memory. Idealism led him to philosophic anarchy, and his family threw him off. Father's a railroad president and many times millionnaire, but the son's starving in 'Frisco, editing an anarchist sheet for twenty-five a month."




Martin was little acquainted in San Francisco, and not at all south of Market; so he had no idea of where he was being led.




"Go ahead," he said; "tell me about them beforehand. What do they do for a living? How do they happen to be here?"




"Hope Hamilton's there." Brissenden paused and rested his hands. "Strawn-Hamilton's his name - hyphenated, you know - comes of old Southern stock. He's a tramp - laziest man I ever knew, though he's clerking, or trying to, in a socialist cooperative store for six dollars a week. But he's a confirmed hobo. Tramped into town. I've seen him sit all day on a bench and never a bite pass his lips, and in the evening, when I invited him to dinner - restaurant two blocks away - have him say, 'Too much trouble, old man. Buy me a package of cigarettes instead.' He was a Spencerian like you till Kreis turned him to materialistic monism. I'll start him on monism if I can. Norton's another monist - only he affirms naught but spirit. He can give Kreis and Hamilton all they want, too."




"Who is Kreis?" Martin asked.




"His rooms we're going to. One time professor - fired from university - usual story. A mind like a steel trap. Makes his living any old way. I know he's been a street fakir when he was down. Unscrupulous. Rob a corpse of a shroud - anything. Difference between him - and the bourgeoisie is that he robs without illusion. He'll talk Nietzsche, or Schopenhauer, or Kant, or anything, but the only thing in this world, not excepting Mary, that he really cares for, is his monism. Haeckel is his little tin god. The only way to insult him is to take a slap at Haeckel."




"Here's the hang-out." Brissenden rested his demijohn at the upstairs entrance, preliminary to the climb. It was the usual two- story corner building, with a saloon and grocery underneath. "The gang lives here - got the whole upstairs to themselves. But Kreis is the only one who has two rooms. Come on."




No lights burned in the upper hall, but Brissenden threaded the utter blackness like a familiar ghost. He stopped to speak to Martin.




"There's one fellow - Stevens - a theosophist. Makes a pretty tangle when he gets going. Just now he's dish-washer in a restaurant. Likes a good cigar. I've seen him eat in a ten-cent hash-house and pay fifty cents for the cigar he smoked afterward. I've got a couple in my pocket for him, if he shows up."




"And there's another fellow - Parry - an Australian, a statistician and a sporting encyclopaedia. Ask him the grain output of Paraguay for 1903, or the English importation of sheetings into China for 1890, or at what weight Jimmy Britt fought Battling Nelson, or who was welter-weight champion of the United States in '68, and you'll get the correct answer with the automatic celerity of a slot- machine. And there's Andy, a stone-mason, has ideas on everything, a good chess-player; and another fellow, Harry, a baker, red hot socialist and strong union man. By the way, you remember Cooks' and Waiters' strike - Hamilton was the chap who organized that union and precipitated the strike - planned it all out in advance, right here in Kreis's rooms. Did it just for the fun of it, but was too lazy to stay by the union. Yet he could have risen high if he wanted to. There's no end to the possibilities in that man - if he weren't so insuperably lazy."




Brissenden advanced through the darkness till a thread of light marked the threshold of a door. A knock and an answer opened it, and Martin found himself shaking hands with Kreis, a handsome brunette man, with dazzling white teeth, a drooping black mustache, and large, flashing black eyes. Mary, a matronly young blonde, was washing dishes in the little back room that served for kitchen and dining room. The front room served as bedchamber and living room. Overhead was the week's washing, hanging in festoons so low that Martin did not see at first the two men talking in a corner. They hailed Brissenden and his demijohns with acclamation, and, on being introduced, Martin learned they were Andy and Parry. He joined them and listened attentively to the description of a prize-fight Parry had seen the night before; while Brissenden, in his glory, plunged into the manufacture of a toddy and the serving of wine and whiskey-and-sodas. At his command, "Bring in the clan," Andy departed to go the round of the rooms for the lodgers.




"We're lucky that most of them are here," Brissenden whispered to Martin. "There's Norton and Hamilton; come on and meet them. Stevens isn't around, I hear. I'm going to get them started on monism if I can. Wait till they get a few jolts in them and they'll warm up."




At first the conversation was desultory. Nevertheless Martin could not fail to appreciate the keen play of their minds. They were men with opinions, though the opinions often clashed, and, though they were witty and clever, they were not superficial. He swiftly saw, no matter upon what they talked, that each man applied the correlation of knowledge and had also a deep-seated and unified conception of society and the Cosmos. Nobody manufactured their opinions for them; they were all rebels of one variety or another, and their lips were strangers to platitudes. Never had Martin, at the Morses', heard so amazing a range of topics discussed. There seemed no limit save time to the things they were alive to. The talk wandered from Mrs. Humphry Ward's new book to Shaw's latest play, through the future of the drama to reminiscences of Mansfield. They appreciated or sneered at the morning editorials, jumped from labor conditions in New Zealand to Henry James and Brander Matthews, passed on to the German designs in the Far East and the economic aspect of the Yellow Peril, wrangled over the German elections and Bebel's last speech, and settled down to local politics, the latest plans and scandals in the union labor party administration, and the wires that were pulled to bring about the Coast Seamen's strike. Martin was struck by the inside knowledge they possessed. They knew what was never printed in the newspapers - the wires and strings and the hidden hands that made the puppets dance. To Martin's surprise, the girl, Mary, joined in the conversation, displaying an intelligence he had never encountered in the few women he had met. They talked together on Swinburne and Rossetti, after which she led him beyond his depth into the by- paths of French literature. His revenge came when she defended Maeterlinck and he brought into action the carefully-thought-out thesis of "The Shame of the Sun."




Several other men had dropped in, and the air was thick with tobacco smoke, when Brissenden waved the red flag.




"Here's fresh meat for your axe, Kreis," he said; "a rose-white youth with the ardor of a lover for Herbert Spencer. Make a Haeckelite of him - if you can."




Kreis seemed to wake up and flash like some metallic, magnetic thing, while Norton looked at Martin sympathetically, with a sweet, girlish smile, as much as to say that he would be amply protected.




Kreis began directly on Martin, but step by step Norton interfered, until he and Kreis were off and away in a personal battle. Martin listened and fain would have rubbed his eyes. It was impossible that this should be, much less in the labor ghetto south of Market. The books were alive in these men. They talked with fire and enthusiasm, the intellectual stimulant stirring them as he had seen drink and anger stir other men. What he heard was no longer the philosophy of the dry, printed word, written by half-mythical demigods like Kant and Spencer. It was living philosophy, with warm, red blood, incarnated in these two men till its very features worked with excitement. Now and again other men joined in, and all followed the discussion with cigarettes going out in their hands and with alert, intent faces.




Idealism had never attracted Martin, but the exposition it now received at the hands of Norton was a revelation. The logical plausibility of it, that made an appeal to his intellect, seemed missed by Kreis and Hamilton, who sneered at Norton as a metaphysician, and who, in turn, sneered back at them as metaphysicians. PHENOMENON and NOUMENON were bandied back and forth. They charged him with attempting to explain consciousness by itself. He charged them with word-jugglery, with reasoning from words to theory instead of from facts to theory. At this they were aghast. It was the cardinal tenet of their mode of reasoning to start with facts and to give names to the facts.




When Norton wandered into the intricacies of Kant, Kreis reminded him that all good little German philosophies when they died went to Oxford. A little later Norton reminded them of Hamilton's Law of Parsimony, the application of which they immediately claimed for every reasoning process of theirs. And Martin hugged his knees and exulted in it all. But Norton was no Spencerian, and he, too, strove for Martin's philosophic soul, talking as much at him as to his two opponents.




"You know Berkeley has never been answered," he said, looking directly at Martin. "Herbert Spencer came the nearest, which was not very near. Even the stanchest of Spencer's followers will not go farther. I was reading an essay of Saleeby's the other day, and the best Saleeby could say was that Herbert Spencer NEARLY succeeded in answering Berkeley."




"You know what Hume said?" Hamilton asked. Norton nodded, but Hamilton gave it for the benefit of the rest. "He said that Berkeley's arguments admit of no answer and produce no conviction."




"In his, Hume's, mind," was the reply. "And Hume's mind was the same as yours, with this difference: he was wise enough to admit there was no answering Berkeley."




Norton was sensitive and excitable, though he never lost his head, while Kreis and Hamilton were like a pair of cold-blooded savages, seeking out tender places to prod and poke. As the evening grew late, Norton, smarting under the repeated charges of being a metaphysician, clutching his chair to keep from jumping to his feet, his gray eyes snapping and his girlish face grown harsh and sure, made a grand attack upon their position.




"All right, you Haeckelites, I may reason like a medicine man, but, pray, how do you reason? You have nothing to stand on, you unscientific dogmatists with your positive science which you are always lugging about into places it has no right to be. Long before the school of materialistic monism arose, the ground was removed so that there could be no foundation. Locke was the man, John Locke. Two hundred years ago - more than that, even in his 'Essay concerning the Human Understanding,' he proved the non- existence of innate ideas. The best of it is that that is precisely what you claim. To-night, again and again, you have asserted the non-existence of innate ideas.




"And what does that mean? It means that you can never know ultimate reality. Your brains are empty when you are born. Appearances, or phenomena, are all the content your minds can receive from your five senses. Then noumena, which are not in your minds when you are born, have no way of getting in - "




"I deny - " Kreis started to interrupt.




"You wait till I'm done," Norton shouted. "You can know only that much of the play and interplay of force and matter as impinges in one way or another on our senses. You see, I am willing to admit, for the sake of the argument, that matter exists; and what I am about to do is to efface you by your own argument. I can't do it any other way, for you are both congenitally unable to understand a philosophic abstraction."




"And now, what do you know of matter, according to your own positive science? You know it only by its phenomena, its appearances. You are aware only of its changes, or of such changes in it as cause changes in your consciousness. Positive science deals only with phenomena, yet you are foolish enough to strive to be ontologists and to deal with noumena. Yet, by the very definition of positive science, science is concerned only with appearances. As somebody has said, phenomenal knowledge cannot transcend phenomena."




"You cannot answer Berkeley, even if you have annihilated Kant, and yet, perforce, you assume that Berkeley is wrong when you affirm that science proves the non-existence of God, or, as much to the point, the existence of matter. - You know I granted the reality of matter only in order to make myself intelligible to your understanding. Be positive scientists, if you please; but ontology has no place in positive science, so leave it alone. Spencer is right in his agnosticism, but if Spencer - "




But it was time to catch the last ferry-boat for Oakland, and Brissenden and Martin slipped out, leaving Norton still talking and Kreis and Hamilton waiting to pounce on him like a pair of hounds as soon as he finished.




"You have given me a glimpse of fairyland," Martin said on the ferry-boat. "It makes life worth while to meet people like that. My mind is all worked up. I never appreciated idealism before. Yet I can't accept it. I know that I shall always be a realist. I am so made, I guess. But I'd like to have made a reply to Kreis and Hamilton, and I think I'd have had a word or two for Norton. I didn't see that Spencer was damaged any. I'm as excited as a child on its first visit to the circus. I see I must read up some more. I'm going to get hold of Saleeby. I still think Spencer is unassailable, and next time I'm going to take a hand myself."




But Brissenden, breathing painfully, had dropped off to sleep, his chin buried in a scarf and resting on his sunken chest, his body wrapped in the long overcoat and shaking to the vibration of the propellers.
“来,来,我让你见识见识真正的草芥之民。”一月份的某一个晚上布里森登对他说。

两人刚在旧金山吃完晚饭,要回奥克兰,来到了轮渡大厦。这时布世森登心血来潮,要叫他看看“草芥之民”。他转过身来,他那外衣飘闪的瘦削的身影飘过了海岸,马丁努力跟着。布卫森登在一家批发饮料站买了两大瓶陈年葡萄酒,大胜瓶装的,一手拎一瓶上了教会街的电车。马丁拿了几瓶夸脱装的威士忌紧跟在后。

他心里想,这要是叫露丝看见可不得了,同时猜测那“真正的草芥之民”是怎么回事。“也许那儿一个人也没有,”两人下了车,便直奔市场街南面工人阶级贫民窟的中心,这时布里森登说,“那你就会错过你长期想找的人了。”

“究竟是什么呀?”

“人,聪明的人,而不是我发现你在那个生意人窝周交往的卿卿喳喳的无聊的人。你已经读了些书,发现自己完全孤独了。今天晚上我要叫你见识见识一些也读过书的人,那你就再也不会孤独了。

“我对他们的讨论没有兴趣,”他来到一个街区的尽头时说,“书本上的哲学打动不了我,但你会发现这些人是聪明人,不是资产阶级的猪猡。可你得小动,他们会就太阳之下的任何题目对你唠叨个没完的。

“我希望诺尔屯在那甲,”说到这儿他有一点气喘,却拒绝了马丁把他那两个大肚子酒瓶接过手去的好意。“诺尔屯是个理想主义者——哈佛大学的,有惊人的记忆力。理想主义把他引向了哲学上的无政府主义,被家庭赶了出来。他爸爸是一条铁路的总裁,有好几百万家产,可儿子却在旧金山挨饿,编着一份无政府主义报纸,每月二十五块。”

马丁对旧金山不熟,对市场街以南更是一无所知。因此他不知道自己已被领到了什么地方。

“讲吧,”他说,“先给我介绍介绍。他们靠什么过日子?怎么会到这儿来的?”

“但愿汉密尔顿也在这几,”市里森登站了一会儿,歇了歇手。“他的姓是斯特罗恩一汉密尔顿(中间是个连字符),出身南方世家。一个流浪汉——我所见过的最懒的人,虽然他在一家社会主义的合作社里做职员(或者说勉强凑合作着做),每周六块钱,可他是个积习难改的占普赛人,是流浪到这儿来的。我曾见他在一张长凳上坐过一整天,一点东西都没进嘴,到了晚上我请他吃饭——只须走两段街就到了馆子,他却回答说:‘太麻烦,老兄,给我买盒烟就行了!’他原来跟你一样,是斯宾塞主义者,后来被克瑞斯转变成了个唯物主义的一元论者。我如果能够,倒想跟他谈谈一元论;诺尔屯也是个一元论者——不过他只肯定精神,对其他的一切都怀疑。而他却可以提供克瑞斯和汉密尔顿所缺少的一切。”

“克瑞斯是谁呀、马丁问道。

“我们就是到他的屋里去呢,当过大学教授——被开除了——老一套的故事。那张嘴像刀子,用一切古老的形式混着饭吃。我知道他倒霉的时候在街上摆过摊,什么都满不在乎地干,连死人的尸衣也偷——什么都偷。他跟资产阶级不同,偷时并不制造假象。他谈尼采,谈叔本华,谈康德,什么都谈。但在世界上他真正关心的只有他的一元论,别的他都不放在心上,包括圣母玛利亚在内。海克尔是他崇拜的一个小偶像,你要侮辱他有一个办法法,打海克尔一耳光就行。

“咱们的老窝到了,”布里森登把他的大肚子酒瓶在阶梯口放了一会儿,做好上楼准备。那是常见的一楼一底的街角房,楼下是一间沙龙和一间杂货店。“这帮家伙就住这儿——楼上整个凡是他们的天下。只有克瑞斯一人住两间。来吧。”

楼上大厅里没有灯光,但布里森登却在沉沉的黑暗里穿来穿去,像个熟悉环境的幽灵。他停下脚步对马丁说:

“这儿有一个人叫史梯劳斯,是个通神论者,话匣子一打开可热闹呢。他现在在一家饭馆院盘子。喜欢抽高级雪茄烟。我见过他在一家‘一角餐厅’吃饭,然后花五角钱买雪茄抽。他要是来了,我兜里还为他准备了几支雪茄。

“还有一个家伙叫巴瑞,澳洲人‘统计学家,是一部挺有趣的百科全书。你问他一九0三年巴拉圭的粮食产量是多少,一八九0年英国向中国输出的床单是多少,吉米·布里特对杀手纳尔逊拳击战是哪个量级,一八六八年全美次重最级冠军是谁,都可以得到迅速准确的答案,像从自动售货机里出来的一样。还有安迪,是个五匠,对什么都有自己的看法,棋艺极棒。还有个家伙叫哈里,面包师傅,激烈的社会主义者和坚定的工联主义者。附带说一句,你记得厨工待者大罢工么?就是他组织了工会搞的——事先对一切都作了安排,地点就在这儿:克瑞斯家里。他搞罢工只是为了好玩,可是太懒,不愿留在工会里。他只要愿意是可以爬上去的。那家伙要不是懒得出奇,他的能量可以说是无穷无尽。”

布里森登在黑暗里穿行,直到一缕微光指明了门槛的所在。他敲了敲门,有人回答,门开了。马丁发现自己已在跟克瑞斯握着手。克瑞斯是个漂亮的人,浅黑色皮肤,黑色八字胡,牙齿白得耀眼,眼睛黑而且大,目光炯炯。玛丽是个金头发白皮肤的年轻妇女,主妇模样,正在后面一间小屋里洗碟子。那小屋是厨房,兼作饭厅;前屋是客厅,兼作寝室。一周来的衣服洗过了,像万国旗一样低低地晾在屋里,马丁刚进来时竟没看见有两个人在一个角落里谈话。两人用欢呼迎接了布里森登和他的大肚子酒瓶。经过介绍马丁知道他们是安迪和巴瑞。马丁来到一两人身边,仔细听巴瑞描述他头天晚上看过的拳击赛,这时布巴森登便用葡萄酒和威士忌苏打得意杨扬地调制好甜威士忌,端了上来。他一声令下“把那伙人请来”,那两人便到各个房间去叫人。

“我们运气不错,大部分人都在,”布里森登悄悄对马丁说,“诺尔屯和汉密尔顿在,来,跟他们见面吧。听说斯梯芬斯不在。如果能办到我就设法让他们谈一元论。先等他们喝两杯酒‘热热身’再说。”

谈话开始时有点凌乱,但马丁仍可以欣赏到他们那敏锐的心灵活动。全都是有思想的人,尽管常常互相碰撞;每个人都聪明风趣,但决不浅薄。很快他就发现他们无论谈什么问题都能综合地运用知识,对社会和宇宙具有深沉而系统的理解。他们都是某种类型的叛逆者,他们的思想不是任何人预先炮制好的,嘴里没有陈词滥调,讨论的问题多得惊人,那是马丁在莫尔斯家从没见过的。他们感到兴趣的问题若不是受到时间限制似乎可以无穷无尽。他们从亨福雷·华尔德夫人的新书谈到萧伯纳的最新剧本;从戏剧的前途谈到对曼殊菲尔的回忆。他们对早报的社论表示欣赏或是鄙弃;他们从新西兰的劳工条件猛然转入亨利·詹姆斯和布兰德·马修斯,又转入德国的远东阴谋和黄祸的经济侧面;他们争论德国的选举和倍倍尔的最新讲话;然后又落到当他的政治,联合劳工党政权的最新计划和丑闻;还有那导致了海岸海员罢工的幕后牵线情况。他们所掌握的内幕新闻之多个马丁震惊。他们知道报纸上从没有发表的东西——那操纵着木偶们跳舞的一条条线和一只只手。还有一件事也令马丁吃惊:玛丽也参加了谈话,并表现了在他所接触过的少数妇女身上从未见到过的智慧。她和他一起讨论史文朋和罗塞蒂,然后便把他引进了马丁感到陌生的法国文学的小胡同已去。等到她为梅特林克辩护时,马丁便把他在《太阳的耻辱押深思熟虑的理论使用出来,算是有了回敬她的机会。

另外的人也参加了讨论,空气里是浓烈的香烟味,这时布里森登挥动了辩论的红旗。

“克瑞斯,你那板斧有了新对象了,”他说,“一个纯洁得像白玫瑰的青年,对斯宾塞怀着恋人一样的热情。让他改信海克尔吧——你要是有本领的话!”

克瑞斯似乎醒了过来,像某种带磁性的金属一样闪出了光#。此时诺尔屯同情地望着马丁,发出一个姑娘般的甜笑,似乎在告诉他他可以得到强有力的保护。

克瑞斯直接向马丁开了火。可是诺尔中逐步进行了干预,辩论便转而在他们俩之间进行了。马丁听着听着几乎不相信自己的眼睛了:这简直是不可能的,尤其是在市场街以南的劳工贫民窟里。这些人书读得很灵活,谈话时怀着烈火和激情。他们为智慧的力量驱使时有如马丁见到别人受到酒精和愤怒驱使时一样激动。他所听见的东西不再是出自康德或斯宾塞这种神秘的仙灵笔下,不再是书本上的枯燥的哲学文字,而是奔流着鲜红的热血的活生生的哲学。那哲学体现在他们俩身上,直到它热情澎湃地显露出了本来面目。别的人也偶然插几句嘴。所有的人都紧跟着讨论的进程,手上的香烟渐渐熄灭,脸上露出敏锐的专注的神色。

唯心主义从来没有吸引过马丁,但经过诺尔屯一解释却给了他启示。唯心论的值得赞扬的逻辑启发了他的智力,但克瑞斯和汉密尔顿对之却似乎充耳不闻。他们嘲笑诺尔屯是个玄学鬼。诺尔屯也嗤之以鼻,回敬他们以玄学鬼的称号。他们用现象和本体两个字互相攻击。克瑞斯和汉密尔顿攻击诺尔屯企图以意识解释意识;诺尔屯则攻击他们俩玩弄词语,思考时从词语到理论,而不是从实际到理论。诺尔屯的话把他们俩惊呆了——他们的推理模式的根本信条一向是从事实出发,绘事实加上些名词术语。

诺尔屯钻进了康德的复杂世界,这时克瑞斯便提醒他说德国所有的小哲学学派死亡之后都跑到牛津去落户。不久诺尔屯又反提醒他们汉密尔顿的悭吝律。他们随即宣称他们的每一个推理过程都是应用着这一规律的。马丁抱着膝头听着,感到兴高采烈。但是诺尔屯并不是个斯宾塞主义者,他也在努力理解马丁哲学的精髓,一面对他的对手说话一面也对马丁说话。

“你知道贝克莱提出的问题谁也没有回答出来,”他直面着马丁,说,“赫伯特·斯宾塞的回答最接近于解决,但距离仍不算近。即使斯宾塞的最坚强的信徒也难于再前进了。那天我读了撤里比的一篇论文,撒里比所能说出的最好的话不过是:赫伯特·斯宾塞几乎回答了贝克莱的问题。”

“你知道休谟的话么?”汉密尔顿问道。诺尔屯点点头,但是汉密尔顿为了让大家明白,把它交代了出来。“他说贝克莱的那些论点虽无可辩驳,却不具说服力。”

“那是休谟的思想,”回答是,“而休谟的思想正和你的思想相同——只有一点不同:他很聪明,承认了贝克莱的问题无法回答。”

诺尔屯虽然从来不会糊涂,却敏感而易于冲动利而克瑞斯和汉密尔顿却像一对冷血的野蛮人,专找他的弱点戳他,顶他。夜色渐深,诺尔屯受到了反复的攻击,他们说他是个官学鬼,把他刺痛了,诺尔克怕自己会跳起来,忙攥住了椅子;他灰色的眼睛闪亮着,姑娘一样的面孔变得严厉而坚毅了。他对他们的立场发表了一通精彩的攻忐。

“好吧,你们这些海克尔主义者,就算我的思维像个定方郎中,可请问,你们是怎么推理的?你们这些不科学的教条主义者,你们没何立.足之地,老把你们的实证科学往它并无权利进去的地方乱搡。在唯物的一元论学派出现以前很久你们那根据早就被挖掉了,早没了基础。挖掉它的是洛克,约翰·洛克两百年以前.甚至更早以前,在他的论文《论人的理解》里他已经证明了没有与生俱来的意念。最精彩的是:你们的说法也正如此,今晚你们所一再肯定的正是没有与生俱来的意念。”

“你那话是什么意思?那正说明了你无法知道终极的现实,你出生时头脑里空空如上。表象,或者说现象,就是你的心灵从五种感官所能获得的全部内容。因此本体,你出生时所没有的东西,是没有法子进入——”

“我否认——”克瑞斯开始插嘴。

“你等我说完,”诺尔屯叫道,“对于力与物质的作用和两者的相互作用你所能知道的就那么一点点,因为它们以某种形式触动了你们的感官。你看,为了辩论,我倒是乐意承认物质是存在的。因为我打算以子之矛攻子之盾,只好先承认它,因为你们俩天生就无法理解哲学的抽象。

“那么,根据你们的实证科学,你们对物质又知道什么呢?你们只能通过它的现象,它的表象,知道它,你们只知道它的变化,或者说通过它的变化所引起的你们的意识的变化去知道它。实证科学只能处理现象,而你们却很策,偏要努力去做本体论者,去研究本体。然而就从实证科学的定义出发也很清楚,科学是只关心现象的。有人说过,从现象得来的知识是无法超越现象的。

“即使你们打倒了康德,你们也回答不了贝克莱的问题。但是,也许你们在确认科学证明了上帝并不存在,或者差不多证明了物质的存在时就已假定贝克莱错了。你们知道我承认物质的现实性只是为了能让你们懂得我的意思。你们要是高兴,就做实证科学家吧,但是本体论在实证科学里并没有地位,因此别去谈什么实证科学。斯宾塞的怀疑主义是对的。但是如果斯宾塞——”

不过,已经到了去赶最后一班轮渡回奥克兰的时候了。布里森登和马丁溜了出来,留下诺尔屯还在那里侃侃而谈,而克瑞斯和汉密尔顿则像两条措拘一样,等他一住目就扑上去。

“你让我瞥见了神仙的世界,”马丁在轮渡上说,“跟那样的人见面使生活变得有了价值。我的头脑全调动起来了。以前我从没有欣赏过唯心主义,尽管我仍然接受不了。我知道我永远是个现实主义者。我估计那是天生的。可我倒很想回答克瑞斯和汉密尔顿几句,也对诺尔屯发表点意见。我并不认为斯宾塞已被打倒。我很激动,像小孩第一次见到马戏团一样激动。我看我还得多读点书。我要找撒里比来读读。我仍然认为斯宾塞无懈可击。下一回我就要自己上阵了。”

但是布里森登已经睡着了。他痛苦地呼吸着,下巴顶住他那凹陷的胸口,埋在围巾里,身子裹在长大衣里随着推进器的震动而摇晃着。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 37楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  37


The first thing Martin did next morning was to go counter both to Brissenden's advice and command. "The Shame of the Sun" he wrapped and mailed to THE ACROPOLIS. He believed he could find magazine publication for it, and he felt that recognition by the magazines would commend him to the book-publishing houses. "Ephemera" he likewise wrapped and mailed to a magazine. Despite Brissenden's prejudice against the magazines, which was a pronounced mania with him, Martin decided that the great poem should see print. He did not intend, however, to publish it without the other's permission. His plan was to get it accepted by one of the high magazines, and, thus armed, again to wrestle with Brissenden for consent.




Martin began, that morning, a story which he had sketched out a number of weeks before and which ever since had been worrying him with its insistent clamor to be created. Apparently it was to be a rattling sea story, a tale of twentieth-century adventure and romance, handling real characters, in a real world, under real conditions. But beneath the swing and go of the story was to be something else - something that the superficial reader would never discern and which, on the other hand, would not diminish in any way the interest and enjoyment for such a reader. It was this, and not the mere story, that impelled Martin to write it. For that matter, it was always the great, universal motif that suggested plots to him. After having found such a motif, he cast about for the particular persons and particular location in time and space wherewith and wherein to utter the universal thing. "Overdue" was the title he had decided for it, and its length he believed would not be more than sixty thousand words - a bagatelle for him with his splendid vigor of production. On this first day he took hold of it with conscious delight in the mastery of his tools. He no longer worried for fear that the sharp, cutting edges should slip and mar his work. The long months of intense application and study had brought their reward. He could now devote himself with sure hand to the larger phases of the thing he shaped; and as he worked, hour after hour, he felt, as never before, the sure and cosmic grasp with which he held life and the affairs of life. "Overdue" would tell a story that would be true of its particular characters and its particular events; but it would tell, too, he was confident, great vital things that would be true of all time, and all sea, and all life - thanks to Herbert Spencer, he thought, leaning back for a moment from the table. Ay, thanks to Herbert Spencer and to the master-key of life, evolution, which Spencer had placed in his hands.




He was conscious that it was great stuff he was writing. "It will go! It will go!" was the refrain that kept, sounding in his ears. Of course it would go. At last he was turning out the thing at which the magazines would jump. The whole story worked out before him in lightning flashes. He broke off from it long enough to write a paragraph in his note-book. This would be the last paragraph in "Overdue"; but so thoroughly was the whole book already composed in his brain that he could write, weeks before he had arrived at the end, the end itself. He compared the tale, as yet unwritten, with the tales of the sea-writers, and he felt it to be immeasurably superior. "There's only one man who could touch it," he murmured aloud, "and that's Conrad. And it ought to make even him sit up and shake hands with me, and say, 'Well done, Martin, my boy.'"




He toiled on all day, recollecting, at the last moment, that he was to have dinner at the Morses'. Thanks to Brissenden, his black suit was out of pawn and he was again eligible for dinner parties. Down town he stopped off long enough to run into the library and search for Saleeby's books. He drew out 'The Cycle of Life," and on the car turned to the essay Norton had mentioned on Spencer. As Martin read, he grew angry. His face flushed, his jaw set, and unconsciously his hand clenched, unclenched, and clenched again as if he were taking fresh grips upon some hateful thing out of which he was squeezing the life. When he left the car, he strode along the sidewalk as a wrathful man will stride, and he rang the Morse bell with such viciousness that it roused him to consciousness of his condition, so that he entered in good nature, smiling with amusement at himself. No sooner, however, was he inside than a great depression descended upon him. He fell from the height where he had been up-borne all day on the wings of inspiration. "Bourgeois," "trader's den" - Brissenden's epithets repeated themselves in his mind. But what of that? he demanded angrily. He was marrying Ruth, not her family.




It seemed to him that he had never seen Ruth more beautiful, more spiritual and ethereal and at the same time more healthy. There was color in her cheeks, and her eyes drew him again and again - the eyes in which he had first read immortality. He had forgotten immortality of late, and the trend of his scientific reading had been away from it; but here, in Ruth's eyes, he read an argument without words that transcended all worded arguments. He saw that in her eyes before which all discussion fled away, for he saw love there. And in his own eyes was love; and love was unanswerable. Such was his passionate doctrine.




The half hour he had with her, before they went in to dinner, left him supremely happy and supremely satisfied with life. Nevertheless, at table, the inevitable reaction and exhaustion consequent upon the hard day seized hold of him. He was aware that his eyes were tired and that he was irritable. He remembered it was at this table, at which he now sneered and was so often bored, that he had first eaten with civilized beings in what he had imagined was an atmosphere of high culture and refinement. He caught a glimpse of that pathetic figure of him, so long ago, a self-conscious savage, sprouting sweat at every pore in an agony of apprehension, puzzled by the bewildering minutiae of eating- implements, tortured by the ogre of a servant, striving at a leap to live at such dizzy social altitude, and deciding in the end to be frankly himself, pretending no knowledge and no polish he did not possess.




He glanced at Ruth for reassurance, much in the same manner that a passenger, with sudden panic thought of possible shipwreck, will strive to locate the life preservers. Well, that much had come out of it - love and Ruth. All the rest had failed to stand the test of the books. But Ruth and love had stood the test; for them he found a biological sanction. Love was the most exalted expression of life. Nature had been busy designing him, as she had been busy with all normal men, for the purpose of loving. She had spent ten thousand centuries - ay, a hundred thousand and a million centuries - upon the task, and he was the best she could do. She had made love the strongest thing in him, increased its power a myriad per cent with her gift of imagination, and sent him forth into the ephemera to thrill and melt and mate. His hand sought Ruth's hand beside him hidden by the table, and a warm pressure was given and received. She looked at him a swift instant, and her eyes were radiant and melting. So were his in the thrill that pervaded him; nor did he realize how much that was radiant and melting in her eyes had been aroused by what she had seen in his.




Across the table from him, cater-cornered, at Mr. Morse's right, sat Judge Blount, a local superior court judge. Martin had met him a number of times and had failed to like him. He and Ruth's father were discussing labor union politics, the local situation, and socialism, and Mr. Morse was endeavoring to twit Martin on the latter topic. At last Judge Blount looked across the table with benignant and fatherly pity. Martin smiled to himself.




"You'll grow out of it, young man," he said soothingly. "Time is the best cure for such youthful distempers." He turned to Mr. Morse. "I do not believe discussion is good in such cases. It makes the patient obstinate."




"That is true," the other assented gravely. "But it is well to warn the patient occasionally of his condition."




Martin laughed merrily, but it was with an effort. The day had been too long, the day's effort too intense, and he was deep in the throes of the reaction.




"Undoubtedly you are both excellent doctors," he said; "but if you care a whit for the opinion of the patient, let him tell you that you are poor diagnosticians. In fact, you are both suffering from the disease you think you find in me. As for me, I am immune. The socialist philosophy that riots half-baked in your veins has passed me by."




"Clever, clever," murmured the judge. "An excellent ruse in controversy, to reverse positions."




"Out of your mouth." Martin's eyes were sparkling, but he kept control of himself. "You see, Judge, I've heard your campaign speeches. By some henidical process - henidical, by the way is a favorite word of mine which nobody understands - by some henidical process you persuade yourself that you believe in the competitive system and the survival of the strong, and at the same time you indorse with might and main all sorts of measures to shear the strength from the strong."




"My young man - "




"Remember, I've heard your campaign speeches," Martin warned. "It's on record, your position on interstate commerce regulation, on regulation of the railway trust and Standard Oil, on the conservation of the forests, on a thousand and one restrictive measures that are nothing else than socialistic."




"Do you mean to tell me that you do not believe in regulating these various outrageous exercises of power?"




"That's not the point. I mean to tell you that you are a poor diagnostician. I mean to tell you that I am not suffering from the microbe of socialism. I mean to tell you that it is you who are suffering from the emasculating ravages of that same microbe. As for me, I am an inveterate opponent of socialism just as I am an inveterate opponent of your own mongrel democracy that is nothing else than pseudo-socialism masquerading under a garb of words that will not stand the test of the dictionary."




"I am a reactionary - so complete a reactionary that my position is incomprehensible to you who live in a veiled lie of social organization and whose sight is not keen enough to pierce the veil. You make believe that you believe in the survival of the strong and the rule of the strong. I believe. That is the difference. When I was a trifle younger, - a few months younger, - I believed the same thing. You see, the ideas of you and yours had impressed me. But merchants and traders are cowardly rulers at best; they grunt and grub all their days in the trough of money-getting, and I have swung back to aristocracy, if you please. I am the only individualist in this room. I look to the state for nothing. I look only to the strong man, the man on horseback, to save the state from its own rotten futility."




"Nietzsche was right. I won't take the time to tell you who Nietzsche was, but he was right. The world belongs to the strong - to the strong who are noble as well and who do not wallow in the swine-trough of trade and exchange. The world belongs to the true nobleman, to the great blond beasts, to the noncompromisers, to the 'yes-sayers.' And they will eat you up, you socialists - who are afraid of socialism and who think yourselves individualists. Your slave-morality of the meek and lowly will never save you. - Oh, it's all Greek, I know, and I won't bother you any more with it. But remember one thing. There aren't half a dozen individualists in Oakland, but Martin Eden is one of them."




He signified that he was done with the discussion, and turned to Ruth.




"I'm wrought up to-day," he said in an undertone. "All I want to do is to love, not talk."




He ignored Mr. Morse, who said:-




"I am unconvinced. All socialists are Jesuits. That is the way to tell them."




"We'll make a good Republican out of you yet," said Judge Blount.




"The man on horseback will arrive before that time," Martin retorted with good humor, and returned to Ruth.




But Mr. Morse was not content. He did not like the laziness and the disinclination for sober, legitimate work of this prospective son-in-law of his, for whose ideas he had no respect and of whose nature he had no understanding. So he turned the conversation to Herbert Spencer. Judge Blount ably seconded him, and Martin, whose ears had pricked at the first mention of the philosopher's name, listened to the judge enunciate a grave and complacent diatribe against Spencer. From time to time Mr. Morse glanced at Martin, as much as to say, "There, my boy, you see."




"Chattering daws," Martin muttered under his breath, and went on talking with Ruth and Arthur.




But the long day and the "real dirt" of the night before were telling upon him; and, besides, still in his burnt mind was what had made him angry when he read it on the car.




"What is the matter?" Ruth asked suddenly alarmed by the effort he was making to contain himself.




"There is no god but the Unknowable, and Herbert Spencer is its prophet," Judge Blount was saying at that moment.




Martin turned upon him.




"A cheap judgment," he remarked quietly. "I heard it first in the City Hall Park, on the lips of a workingman who ought to have known better. I have heard it often since, and each time the clap-trap of it nauseates me. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. To hear that great and noble man's name upon your lips is like finding a dew-drop in a cesspool. You are disgusting."




It was like a thunderbolt. Judge Blount glared at him with apoplectic countenance, and silence reigned. Mr. Morse was secretly pleased. He could see that his daughter was shocked. It was what he wanted to do - to bring out the innate ruffianism of this man he did not like.




Ruth's hand sought Martin's beseechingly under the table, but his blood was up. He was inflamed by the intellectual pretence and fraud of those who sat in the high places. A Superior Court Judge! It was only several years before that he had looked up from the mire at such glorious entities and deemed them gods.




Judge Blount recovered himself and attempted to go on, addressing himself to Martin with an assumption of politeness that the latter understood was for the benefit of the ladies. Even this added to his anger. Was there no honesty in the world?




"You can't discuss Spencer with me," he cried. "You do not know any more about Spencer than do his own countrymen. But it is no fault of yours, I grant. It is just a phase of the contemptible ignorance of the times. I ran across a sample of it on my way here this evening. I was reading an essay by Saleeby on Spencer. You should read it. It is accessible to all men. You can buy it in any book-store or draw it from the public library. You would feel ashamed of your paucity of abuse and ignorance of that noble man compared with what Saleeby has collected on the subject. It is a record of shame that would shame your shame."




"'The philosopher of the half-educated,' he was called by an academic Philosopher who was not worthy to pollute the atmosphere he breathed. I don't think you have read ten pages of Spencer, but there have been critics, assumably more intelligent than you, who have read no more than you of Spencer, who publicly challenged his followers to adduce one single idea from all his writings - from Herbert Spencer's writings, the man who has impressed the stamp of his genius over the whole field of scientific research and modern thought; the father of psychology; the man who revolutionized pedagogy, so that to-day the child of the French peasant is taught the three R's according to principles laid down by him. And the little gnats of men sting his memory when they get their very bread and butter from the technical application of his ideas. What little of worth resides in their brains is largely due to him. It is certain that had he never lived, most of what is correct in their parrot-learned knowledge would be absent."




"And yet a man like Principal Fairbanks of Oxford - a man who sits in an even higher place than you, Judge Blount - has said that Spencer will be dismissed by posterity as a poet and dreamer rather than a thinker. Yappers and blatherskites, the whole brood of them! '"First Principles" is not wholly destitute of a certain literary power,' said one of them. And others of them have said that he was an industrious plodder rather than an original thinker. Yappers and blatherskites! Yappers and blatherskites!"




Martin ceased abruptly, in a dead silence. Everybody in Ruth's family looked up to Judge Blount as a man of power and achievement, and they were horrified at Martin's outbreak. The remainder of the dinner passed like a funeral, the judge and Mr. Morse confining their talk to each other, and the rest of the conversation being extremely desultory. Then afterward, when Ruth and Martin were alone, there was a scene.




"You are unbearable," she wept.




But his anger still smouldered, and he kept muttering, "The beasts! The beasts!"




When she averred he had insulted the judge, he retorted:-




"By telling the truth about him?"




"I don't care whether it was true or not," she insisted. "There are certain bounds of decency, and you had no license to insult anybody."




"Then where did Judge Blount get the license to assault truth?" Martin demanded. "Surely to assault truth is a more serious misdemeanor than to insult a pygmy personality such as the judge's. He did worse than that. He blackened the name of a great, noble man who is dead. Oh, the beasts! The beasts!"




His complex anger flamed afresh, and Ruth was in terror of him. Never had she seen him so angry, and it was all mystified and unreasonable to her comprehension. And yet, through her very terror ran the fibres of fascination that had drawn and that still drew her to him - that had compelled her to lean towards him, and, in that mad, culminating moment, lay her hands upon his neck. She was hurt and outraged by what had taken place, and yet she lay in his arms and quivered while he went on muttering, "The beasts! The beasts!" And she still lay there when he said: "I'll not bother your table again, dear. They do not like me, and it is wrong of me to thrust my objectionable presence upon them. Besides, they are just as objectionable to me. Faugh! They are sickening. And to think of it, I dreamed in my innocence that the persons who sat in the high places, who lived in fine houses and had educations and bank accounts, were worth while!
马丁次日早上所干的第一件事和布里森登的劝告和命令恰好相反。他把《太阳的耻辱》装进信封,寄给了《卫城》杂志。他相信他能找到杂志发表。他觉得作品一经杂志赏识,就会给书籍出版社以良好的印象。他也把《蜉蝣》封好寄给了一家杂志。他不顾市里森登对杂志的成见(他认为那显然是一种偏执),认为那首伟大的诗歌是能够在杂志上发表的。他并不打算在没有得到对方同意的时候就发表,他的计划是先让一家高级杂志接受,然后以此和布里森登讨价还价,取得他的同意。

那天早上马丁开始了另一篇小说,那小说他几个礼拜以前就已有了轮廓,一直在他心里骚动,令他不安,要求他完成。显然它肯定会是一篇响当当的航海小说,一个二十世纪的浪漫的冒险故事,描写着真实世界卫真实条件下的真实人物。但是在故事的跌宕起伏之;司还有着另外的东西,那东西肤浅的读者虽然觉察不到,却也不会因任何形式而减少了兴趣和喜爱。迫使马丁写作的正是那东西,而不是故事本身。就这个意义而言,给他提供情节的一向是那伟大的普遍的主题。在他发现了这样的主题之后他便冥思苦想,寻求那独恃的人物和独特的环境,用以表达那具有普遍意义的东西的时间和地点。他决心把小说命名为《过期》,他相信它会在六万字以上——这在他那旺盛的创作精力面前简直是举手之劳。在这第一天里他为自己写作得得心应手感到高兴。他不必再担心他的锋芒与棱角会冒出来破坏了作品。漫长的几个月的紧张的实践和研究已经取得了回报。他现在可以满有把握地从大处着眼安排自己的主要精力了。他一小时一小时地写下去,对生命和生命中的事物感到了一种前所未有的规律性和确切性。《过期》所描写的故事对于它特有的角色和事件而言将会真实可信,但他也有信心它能描述出对于一切时代、一切海洋和一切生活都真实的、举足轻重的伟大的东西——这得感谢赫伯特·斯宾塞,他想,身子往后靠了一靠。是的,应该感谢赫伯特·斯宾塞,是他把进化论这把万能钥匙放到了他手里的。

他意识到他在写着伟大的作品。“准会成功!准会成功!”是反复震响在他头脑里的调子。当然会成功的。他终于要写出各家杂志争着想要的作品了。那故事在他面前像闪电一样完完整整地显露了出来。他暂时把它放下,在他的笔记本里写下了一段。那一段是《过期》的收尾。那整个的作品的构思在他脑子里已经非常完整,他可以在写到结尾之前几个星期就写下它的结尾。他把这还没有写出的故事跟别的海洋作家的故事一比较,便觉得它比它们不知道要高明多少倍。“只有一个人能赶得上,”他喃喃地说,“那就是康拉德。我这部作品甚至能叫康拉德吃一惊,来和我握手,说:‘写得好,马丁,我的孩子。’”

他苦苦地写了一天,写到最后忽然想起还要去莫尔斯家参加晚宴。谢谢布里森登,他的黑礼服已经从当铺赎了出来,他又有资格参加晚会了。进城后他花了一点时间到图书馆找撒里比的书。他找出了《生命周期》,在车上读起了诺尔屯提到的那篇批评斯宾塞的文章。读时不禁生起气来。他的脸红了,牙关咬紧了,拳头不知不觉攥了起来,放开,又攥了起来,仿佛在攥着什么可恶的东西,想把它捏死。他下了车便像个暴怒的人一样在路边大踏步走着,直到狠狠按响了莫尔斯家的门铃,才猛醒过来,意识到自己的心惰,觉得好笑,然后才心平气和地进了门。但是他一进门,一种严重的阴暗情绪却突然笼罩了他,那天他整天都乘着灵感的翅膀在九天上翱翔,现在却又落到了尘世。“布尔乔亚”,“市侩窝子”——布里森登的用语在他心里一再出现。但那又怎么样?他愤怒地问,他要娶的是露丝,不是她家里的人。

他仿佛觉得露丝是从来没有过地美丽、超脱、空灵,却又健康,面颊嫣红。那双眼睛一再地引得他注视——而让他第一次读到了永恒的正是那双眼睛。最近他已忘掉了永恒,他读的科学著作使他离开了永恒。但是在这儿,在露丝的眼睛里,他又读到了一种凌驾于一切言语论证之上的无言的理论。他看见一切的辩论都在她那双眼睛面前落荒而逃,因为在那儿他看见了爱情。他自己眼里也满溢着爱情,而爱情是不容反驳的,那是他激情的信念。

在进去用餐前和露丝一起度过的半小时使他感到了极端的幸福,对生活的极端满足。但是一上桌子,一天的辛苦所造成的无可奈何的反应和疲劳却抓住了他。他意识到自己目光倦怠,心惰烦躁。他回忆起自己当初就是在这张桌子旁第一次跟高雅人一起用餐的。那时地以为那就是高雅的文明气氛,可现在他却对它嗤之以鼻,只觉得厌恶了,他又瞥见了自己当时那可怜的形象:一个意识到自己钓的粗野的粗汉,怀着痛苦的恐惧,浑身毛孔都冒着汗。那已是很久以前的事:他曾叫餐具的繁文褥节弄得不知所措,受着个妖魔一样的传者的折磨,竭尽全力想攀上这叫人头晕的社会高层,到最后却决定坦然地表现自己,决不不懂装懂,决不冒充风雅。

他瞥了一眼露丝,想求得镇静,像个突然害怕船只沉没而心慌意乱急于找救生衣的乘客。行了,他已经大有收获了——他得到了爱情和露丝。别的一切都没有经受住书本的考验,但露丝和爱情却经受住了。对两者他还找到了生物学上的认可。爱情是生命的最崇高的表现;为了爱情的目的,大自然一直在忙着设计他,也忙着设计一切正常的人。为了这项工程大自然已经花去了一百个世纪——是的,花去了十万个世纪一百万个世纪,而他则是大自然的最佳杰作。大自然已把爱情创造成了他生命中最强大的东西,给了他想像力,让爱情的力量十倍地增加;给了他短暂的生命以狂欢、销魂,让他求偶。他的手在桌子下面寻求着身边的露丝的手。一种温暖的压力彼此交流,她匆匆瞥了他一眼,眼神里露出了光彩和陶醉。他也一样,一阵欢乐透过全身,露出同样的神情。他还不知道露丝的陶醉里有多少正是来自他那陶醉的眼神。

他的桌于斜对面坐着当地高级法院的法官布朗特。马j和他见过几次面,却不喜欢他。布朗特法官正在跟露丝的父亲议论工会政治、当地形势和社会主义。莫尔斯先生正想就社会主义的问题嘲弄马丁一番。布朗特法官终于带着父亲式的慈爱怜悯地望着桌子对面的马丁。马丁心中暗暗好笑。

“随着年龄的增长你会抛弃它的,年轻人,”他安慰地说,“对于这一类幼稚的毛病,时间是最好的药物,”他掉头对莫尔斯先生说,“我相信对这类问题讨论是没有用处的。那只叫病人更加坚持。”

“不错,”对方郑重地表示同意,“不过随时提醒一下病人他的病情也是好的。”

马丁高兴地笑了,但有些勉强。那天日子太长,他感到太累,他的反应很痛苦。

“毫无疑问你们都是杰出的医生,”他说,“但是你们如果愿意听听病人的意见,那就让他来告诉你们吧,你们的处方可是并不高明。事实上两位正害着你们自以为在我身上看见的病。至于我么,我倒是免疫的。你们俩血管里骚动着的半吊子社会主义哲学对我倒是毫无作用。”

“妙语,妙语,”法官喃喃地说,“绝妙的辩论手法,这叫反客为主。”

“我可是从你的说法来的,”马丁眼里冒着火,却按捺住自己,“你看,法官,我听过你的竞选演说。你以某种‘憨匿’过程——附带说一句,‘憨匿’是我喜欢用的一种说法,别人是不大懂的——你以某种憨匿的过程让自己相信你是赞成竞争制度,强者生存的。而同时你却竭尽全力批准各种剥夺强者力量的措施。”

“我的年轻人——”

“记住,我听过你的竞选演说,”马丁警告说,“那是有记录在案的。你对州际贸易、铁路托拉斯、标准石油公司和森林资源所采取的限制立场,你对无数种限制措施所采取的立场都不是别的,而是社会主义的。”

“你是说你并不赞成限制这些无法无天的权力滥用么?”

“问题不在这里。我只是想告诉你你开的处方并不高明。我要告诉你我并不曾受到社会主义细菌的感染,而遭到社会主义细菌的削弱与破坏的正是你们自己。至于我么,我倒是个社会主义的死敌,也是你们那杂交的民主制度的死敌。你那招摇过市的东西不过是在某些词句的外衣掩护下的假社会主义,是经不起字典检验的。

“我是个反动分子,一个十足的反动分子,你们生活在一种盖着纱幕的社会组织的谎言之中,你们不够敏锐,看不透那纱幕,因此难于理解我的立场。我看你们是自以为相信强者生存、强者统治的理论。差别就在这里。我年轻一点的时候——几个月以前——我也相信过那理论。你看,你和你们的想法也曾经影响过我。但是,生意买卖人最多也不过是些没有魄力的统治者。只会一天到晚在赚钱发财的食槽里哼哼着,拱来拱去。可是,对不起,我已经掉回头去相信了贵族统治。我是这屋里唯一的个人主义者。我对国家无所求,我只对强者怀着希望。我希望那马背上的人能把国家从腐朽无能的统治之下拯救过来。

“尼采是对的。我不愿花时间来讲尼采是什么人,可他却是对的。世界属于强者,属于高贵的人,属于不在赚钱发财的猪槽里打滚的人。世界属于真正的高贵者,金头发白皮肤的伟大野兽,从不妥协的人,作出决断的人。而他们是会吃掉你们的,你们这些自命为个人主义者、其实是害怕社会主义的社会主义者们。你们这种案顺卑贱的奴隶道德救不了你们。啊,那对你们都太高深,我知道,我不再拿它来麻烦你们了。可是你们要记住一件事,在奥克兰个人主义者还不到半打,可马丁·伊登却是其中之一。”

他做出个姿势表示说完了话,然后转向了露丝。

“我今天有点激动,”他低声说,“我现在想的是爱情,不是说话。”

莫尔斯先生说话了,他却没有听;——

“你可没有说服我,所有的社会主义者都是阴谋家。那是鉴别他们的办法。”

“我们还是可以把你变成个优秀的共和党人的。”布朗特法官说。

“马背上的人在那时以前就会到来。”马丁心平气和地回答,又转身和露丝说话去了。

可是莫尔斯先生仍然不满意。他这未来的女婿又懒惰又不肯正经做工作,他不喜欢。他也瞧不起他的思想,不理解他的天性。于是他把讨论转向了赫伯特·斯宾塞。布朗特法官给了他强有力的支持。马丁一听见提到那位哲学家的名字耳朵就坚了起来。他听着法官一本正经踌躇满志地攻击着斯宾塞,仿佛是在说:“孩子,你听听。”

“乌鸦嘴。”马丁低声说了一句,又和露丝与亚瑟谈话去了。

但是那漫长的一天和昨天晚上那些“草芥之民”还在对他起着作用。而且他在车上读到的令他生气的东西还在他心里燃烧。

“是怎么回事?”露丝见他在压抑自己的怒气感到吃惊,突然问道。

“没有上帝,只有不可知之物,而赫伯特·斯宾塞就是它的先知。”这时布朗特法官正在说着。

马丁对地转过身去。

“不值钱的判断,”他冷冷地说,“我第一次听见这话是在市政厅公园。说话的是一个工人,他倒应该更懂事一点。从那以后我曾多次听见过这话,每一回那讨好卖乖劲都叫我作呕。你应该为自己感到丢脸的。从你的嘴里听见那高贵而伟大的人的名字简直就像见到一滴露珠落到了脏水塘里。你可真叫人恶心。”

这话简直像是个晴天霹雳。布朗特法官瞪大了眼望着他,一脸中了风的样子。满室沉默。莫尔斯先生私心窃喜。他看出他的女儿惶惑了。那正是他希望办到的事——把这个他所不喜欢的入内在的流氓气逗引出来。

露丝的手在桌下求情似的寻找着马丁的手。但是马丁的血已经涌了上来。身居高位者的智力上的假冒伪善令他怒火中烧。高等法院法官!不过几年以前他还在粪土甲仰望着这些光辉人物,把他们看作神灵呢。

布朗特法官镇定下来,打算继续说下去,他对马丁装出一副彬彬有礼的样子说话。马丁认为那是因为怕太太小姐们不安的缘故。这叫他更愤怒了。世界上难道就没有诚实么?

“你不能和我谈斯宾塞,”他叫道,“你对斯宾塞的理解还不如他的英国同胞。不过,我承认,那不是你的错,而只表现了这个时代可鄙的一面——无知。今天黄昏我来这儿时就遇见了一个例子。读到了一篇撒里比论斯宾塞的文章。你应该读一读。那书谁都可以弄到,哪个书店都可以买到,公共图书馆也可以借到。跟撒里比在这个问题上所搜集的材料一比,你对那位高贵的人的毁访就会显得太无知,太贫乏,你应该感到惭愧。那可是创记录地可耻,能叫你的可耻相形见绌。

“有一个连污染他呼吸过的空气都不配的学究式的哲学家曾说他是‘一知半解者的哲学家’,我觉得斯宾塞的书你就没有读过十页,可也就有好些这样的批评家(他们照说应该比你聪明,可他们读过的斯宾塞比你还少)却公开挑战,要斯宾塞的信徒从他所有的作品里提出一条属于他自己的思想来——从赫伯特·斯宾塞的作品里找他自己的思想!可是整个的科学研究天地和现代思想都打满了斯宾塞天才的烙印;斯宾塞是心理学的鼻祖;斯宾塞掀起了教育学的革命;因此法国农家孩子们今天才得以按照斯宾塞制定的原则接受到读写算的教育。那些人类中渺小的蚊蚋,吞食着从技术上应用他的思想而得来的黄油面包,却叮咬着他死后的名声。可他们脑子里那一点点可怜的有价值的东西主要还是靠斯宾塞得来的。毫无疑问,若是没有斯宾塞,他们那点鹦鹉学舌的知识也是没有的。

“可牛津的费尔班克司校长那样的人——他的地位比你还高,布朗待法官,竟然说后世的人会把斯宾塞抛到一边,把他看作个诗人、梦想家,而不看作思想家。全是一帮胡说八道的牛皮匠!他们之中有人说《首要原理》也并非没有丝毫文学魅力;还有人说斯宾塞是个勤奋的实干家而不是独创性的思想家。胡说八道,牛皮匠!胡说八道,牛皮匠!”

在一片死寂之中马丁突然住了口,马丁这番大放厥词把露丝全家都吓坏了。他们是把布朗特法官当作权威赫赫成就显著的人的。晚宴的其余部分简直就像是丧礼。法官和莫尔斯先生把谈话限制在了彼此之间。其他的谈话也零落散漫。然后,当露丝和马丁单独在一起时两人便吵了起来。

“你简直叫人受不了!”她哭了。

但他仍然余怒未息,仍然喃喃地说着:“畜生!畜生!”

她肯定他侮辱了法官,他反驳道:——

“因为我说了他真话么?”

“真话不真话我不管,”她坚持,“礼貌分寸总得讲的。你没有特权侮辱任何人。”

“那么布朗特法官又有什么特权侮辱真理呢?”马丁问道,“侮辱真理肯定是比侮辱一个像法官这样的小人严重得多的失礼。他的行为比不礼貌严重多了。他诽谤了一个已经死去的高贵的伟大的人物。啊,畜生!畜生!”

他那复杂的怒火又燃烧了起来,露丝简直害怕他了。她从来没有见他发过这么大的脾气。那脾气来得那么莫名其妙,那么突兀,她简直无法理解。然而就在他那恐惧之中却还有魅力的神经在颤动,它过去吸引过她,现在仍然吸引着她——逼得她向他倒了过去,在她那疯狂的最后时刻她伸出了双臂搂住了他的脖子。那天发生的事伤害了她,冒犯了她,然而她却还在他嘟哝着“畜生!畜生!”时躺在他的怀里发抖,他又说出下面的话,她仍然在他的怀里,“我术会再到你们家饭桌上来惹麻烦了,亲爱的。他们不喜欢我,我也不该去惹他们讨厌。而且他们也同样叫我生厌。呸!这些人真恶心!想想看,我竟然天真地做过梦,认为身居高位的、住高楼大厦的、受过教育的、有银行存款的人全鄙高贵呢!”
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 38楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  38


"Come on, let's go down to the local." So spoke Brissenden, faint from a hemorrhage of half an hour before - the second hemorrhage in three days. The perennial whiskey glass was in his hands, and he drained it with shaking fingers.




"What do I want with socialism?" Martin demanded.




"Outsiders are allowed five-minute speeches," the sick man urged. "Get up and spout. Tell them why you don't want socialism. Tell them what you think about them and their ghetto ethics. Slam Nietzsche into them and get walloped for your pains. Make a scrap of it. It will do them good. Discussion is what they want, and what you want, too. You see, I'd like to see you a socialist before I'm gone. It will give you a sanction for your existence. It is the one thing that will save you in the time of disappointment that is coming to you."




"I never can puzzle out why you, of all men, are a socialist," Martin pondered. "You detest the crowd so. Surely there is nothing in the canaille to recommend it to your aesthetic soul." He pointed an accusing finger at the whiskey glass which the other was refilling. "Socialism doesn't seem to save you."




"I'm very sick," was the answer. "With you it is different. You have health and much to live for, and you must be handcuffed to life somehow. As for me, you wonder why I am a socialist. I'll tell you. It is because Socialism is inevitable; because the present rotten and irrational system cannot endure; because the day is past for your man on horseback. The slaves won't stand for it. They are too many, and willy-nilly they'll drag down the would-be equestrian before ever he gets astride. You can't get away from them, and you'll have to swallow the whole slave-morality. It's not a nice mess, I'll allow. But it's been a-brewing and swallow it you must. You are antediluvian anyway, with your Nietzsche ideas. The past is past, and the man who says history repeats itself is a liar. Of course I don't like the crowd, but what's a poor chap to do? We can't have the man on horseback, and anything is preferable to the timid swine that now rule. But come on, anyway. I'm loaded to the guards now, and if I sit here any longer, I'll get drunk. And you know the doctor says - damn the doctor! I'll fool him yet."




It was Sunday night, and they found the small hall packed by the Oakland socialists, chiefly members of the working class. The speaker, a clever Jew, won Martin's admiration at the same time that he aroused his antagonism. The man's stooped and narrow shoulders and weazened chest proclaimed him the true child of the crowded ghetto, and strong on Martin was the age-long struggle of the feeble, wretched slaves against the lordly handful of men who had ruled over them and would rule over them to the end of time. To Martin this withered wisp of a creature was a symbol. He was the figure that stood forth representative of the whole miserable mass of weaklings and inefficients who perished according to biological law on the ragged confines of life. They were the unfit. In spite of their cunning philosophy and of their antlike proclivities for cooperation, Nature rejected them for the exceptional man. Out of the plentiful spawn of life she flung from her prolific hand she selected only the best. It was by the same method that men, aping her, bred race-horses and cucumbers. Doubtless, a creator of a Cosmos could have devised a better method; but creatures of this particular Cosmos must put up with this particular method. Of course, they could squirm as they perished, as the socialists squirmed, as the speaker on the platform and the perspiring crowd were squirming even now as they counselled together for some new device with which to minimize the penalties of living and outwit the Cosmos.




So Martin thought, and so he spoke when Brissenden urged him to give them hell. He obeyed the mandate, walking up to the platform, as was the custom, and addressing the chairman. He began in a low voice, haltingly, forming into order the ideas which had surged in his brain while the Jew was speaking. In such meetings five minutes was the time allotted to each speaker; but when Martin's five minutes were up, he was in full stride, his attack upon their doctrines but half completed. He had caught their interest, and the audience urged the chairman by acclamation to extend Martin's time. They appreciated him as a foeman worthy of their intellect, and they listened intently, following every word. He spoke with fire and conviction, mincing no words in his attack upon the slaves and their morality and tactics and frankly alluding to his hearers as the slaves in question. He quoted Spencer and Malthus, and enunciated the biological law of development.




"And so," he concluded, in a swift resume, "no state composed of the slave-types can endure. The old law of development still holds. In the struggle for existence, as I have shown, the strong and the progeny of the strong tend to survive, while the weak and the progeny of the weak are crushed and tend to perish. The result is that the strong and the progeny of the strong survive, and, so long as the struggle obtains, the strength of each generation increases. That is development. But you slaves - it is too bad to be slaves, I grant - but you slaves dream of a society where the law of development will be annulled, where no weaklings and inefficients will perish, where every inefficient will have as much as he wants to eat as many times a day as he desires, and where all will marry and have progeny - the weak as well as the strong. What will be the result? No longer will the strength and life-value of each generation increase. On the contrary, it will diminish. There is the Nemesis of your slave philosophy. Your society of slaves - of, by, and for, slaves - must inevitably weaken and go to pieces as the life which composes it weakens and goes to pieces.




"Remember, I am enunciating biology and not sentimental ethics. No state of slaves can stand - "




"How about the United States?" a man yelled from the audience.




"And how about it?" Martin retorted. "The thirteen colonies threw off their rulers and formed the Republic so-called. The slaves were their own masters. There were no more masters of the sword. But you couldn't get along without masters of some sort, and there arose a new set of masters - not the great, virile, noble men, but the shrewd and spidery traders and money-lenders. And they enslaved you over again - but not frankly, as the true, noble men would do with weight of their own right arms, but secretly, by spidery machinations and by wheedling and cajolery and lies. They have purchased your slave judges, they have debauched your slave legislatures, and they have forced to worse horrors than chattel slavery your slave boys and girls. Two million of your children are toiling to-day in this trader-oligarchy of the United States. Ten millions of you slaves are not properly sheltered nor properly fed."




"But to return. I have shown that no society of slaves can endure, because, in its very nature, such society must annul the law of development. No sooner can a slave society be organized than deterioration sets in. It is easy for you to talk of annulling the law of development, but where is the new law of development that will maintain your strength? Formulate it. Is it already formulated? Then state it."




Martin took his seat amidst an uproar of voices. A score of men were on their feet clamoring for recognition from the chair. And one by one, encouraged by vociferous applause, speaking with fire and enthusiasm and excited gestures, they replied to the attack. It was a wild night - but it was wild intellectually, a battle of ideas. Some strayed from the point, but most of the speakers replied directly to Martin. They shook him with lines of thought that were new to him; and gave him insights, not into new biological laws, but into new applications of the old laws. They were too earnest to be always polite, and more than once the chairman rapped and pounded for order.




It chanced that a cub reporter sat in the audience, detailed there on a day dull of news and impressed by the urgent need of journalism for sensation. He was not a bright cub reporter. He was merely facile and glib. He was too dense to follow the discussion. In fact, he had a comfortable feeling that he was vastly superior to these wordy maniacs of the working class. Also, he had a great respect for those who sat in the high places and dictated the policies of nations and newspapers. Further, he had an ideal, namely, of achieving that excellence of the perfect reporter who is able to make something - even a great deal - out of nothing.




He did not know what all the talk was about. It was not necessary. Words like REVOLUTION gave him his cue. Like a paleontologist, able to reconstruct an entire skeleton from one fossil bone, he was able to reconstruct a whole speech from the one word REVOLUTION. He did it that night, and he did it well; and since Martin had made the biggest stir, he put it all into his mouth and made him the arch-anarch of the show, transforming his reactionary individualism into the most lurid, red-shirt socialist utterance. The cub reporter was an artist, and it was a large brush with which he laid on the local color - wild-eyed long-haired men, neurasthenia and degenerate types of men, voices shaken with passion, clenched fists raised on high, and all projected against a background of oaths, yells, and the throaty rumbling of angry men.
“来吧,咱们到区分部去。”

布里森登说。他半小时以前才吐了血,仍然头晕目眩——三天来他已是第二次吐血。他手上仍然照例擎着威士忌酒杯,手指颤抖着喝光了酒。

“社会主义对我有什么用?”马丁问道。

“非党员可以发表五分钟讲话,”病人劝他,“你准备放一炮吧,告诉他们你为什么不需要社会主义,把你对他们和他们那贫民窟道德的意见告诉他们;拿尼采去教训他们,让他们因此跟你辩论,然后粉碎他们。那对他们会有好处。他们需要的就是辩论,你也一样需要辩论。你看,我倒希望在去世之前看见你变成社会主义者,那能批准你活下去。你以后准会遇见失望的,那时只有社会主义能救你。”

“你竟是个社会主义者,我怎么也想不通,”马丁思索着说,“你这么讨厌群氓。那些身合之众肯定不会有什么能打动你审美灵魂的地方的。”布里森登正在斟满酒杯,马丁伸出一根指头责难地指着他。“社会主义似乎没有法子救你的命。”

“我已经病入膏盲,”他回答说,“可你不同。你身强力壮,还有许多值得活着去追求的东西,因此非得跟生活铐在一起不可。至于我,你不懂我为什么成了个社会主义者。找告诉你吧,因为社会主义是无法避免的;因为目前这种腐朽的不合理的制度是长不了的,而你那马背上的人又已经过时。奴隶们是不会忍受他的。奴隶太多,无论他们愿不愿意,不等你那人跨上马背,已经被他们拉了下来。你摆脱不了他们的奴隶道德,只好接受。我承认那种混乱不能算好,可它已经在酝酿,你只好把它囫囵吞下去。你那尼采思想早过了时,那位硬说历史会重演的人是个骗子。我当然不会喜欢乌合之众,但是像我这样的人能有什么办法?马背上的人是没有了,可无论什么人来统治也要比现在这批胆怯的猪猡强。现在,好了,我已经有点晕晕忽忽了,再坐下去怕会醉倒的。医生说过,你知道,——让医生滚蛋吧!我还要糊弄糊弄他。”

那是星期天晚上,他们发现那小厅里挤满了奥克兰的社会主义者,主要是工人阶级的成员。发言的人是个聪明的犹太人,他使马丁钦佩,也叫他气闷。那人的塌陷的窄肩和萎缩的胸膛宣布他的确是个在拥挤不堪的犹太贫民窟里长大的孩子。他给了马丁一个强烈的印象:瘦弱的困苦的奴隶们尽管为反对那一小撮趾高气扬的统治者进行了许多代人的斗争,叶仍然受着他们统治,而巨还要永远被统治下去。马丁觉得这个萎缩的生灵便是一个象征,一个突出的形象,代表着整个可怜的软弱无能的群体,按照生物学的规律在生命的狭窄崎岖的天地早被消灭掉,因为他们不是“适者”。大自然为了给超人让路,拒绝了他们,没有理会他们狡猾的哲学和蚂蚁一样的合作天性。她在用她那丰盈的手撒播出的会公众生里只选拔出最优秀的人;而人类也跟大自然一样用这种方法在繁殖看黄瓜和赛跑用的马。毫无疑问,宇宙的创造者是能够设计出更好的方法的;但是这个特定的宇宙里的生物却只好接受这个特定的方法。当然,他们在被消灭时可以蠕动挣扎,正像此刻社会主义者们在蠕动挣扎,台上那个发言人在蠕动挣扎,现在流着汗的人群在蠕动挣扎一样。他们正在商量新的办法,要想竭力减少生活的鞭挞,击败宇宙的法则。

马丁像这样想着,布里森登却建议他去教训他们一顿。于是他发了言。他服从命令,按照习惯走上讲台,向主席致了意。什始时他的声音低沉而犹豫,同时把听那犹太人说话时沸腾在脑子里的想法整理出了头绪。这种会议给每个发言人的时间只有五分钟,但是马丁的五分钟用完时他却正讲到要紧之处,他对他们的学说的攻击才进行到一半,但已引起了听众的兴趣。他们鼓掌要求主席给他延长时间。他们欣赏他,认为他是个值得他们使用智慧对待的对手,于是听得很仔细,一字不漏。他感情炽烈,信心十足,他攻击奴隶们和他们的策略和道德观念,而且直言不讳,坦率地向听众们暗示他们就是那些奴隶。他引用了斯宾塞和马尔萨斯的话,阐述了生物发展的规律。

“因此,”他迅速作出结论,“古老的发展规律仍然有效,奴隶型的人构成的国家是不能持久的。正如我已经指出的,在生存竞争之中强者和他们的子孙更适于生存,而弱者和他们的子孙则要被碾碎,被消灭。其结果是,强者和强者的子孙会生存下去,而只要斗争仍然继续八就会一代比一代更加出色,这就叫做发展。可是你们这些奴隶——我承认,做奴隶是很痛苦的——可你们却梦想着一个发展规律被消灭而弱者和无能者不会被消灭的社会,在那里无能的人每天想吃多少顿就能吃多少顿,都能结婚,都能生育后代——强者弱者没有区别。结果怎么样呢?人的强力和生命的价值不是一代一代增加,反倒一代一代削弱了。复仇女神会给你们的奴隶哲学以报应的。你们那奴隶治、奴隶有。奴隶享的社会一定会随着构成它的生命的削弱和崩溃而垮掉的。

“记住,我阐述的不是感伤的伦理道德而是生物科学。没有一个奴隶的社会能够经得起——”

“那么美国会怎么样呢?”听众里有人叫了起来。

“它会怎么样?”马丁反驳,“北美十三州当年推翻了他们的统治者,建立了一个北美共和国。奴隶们成了自己的主人。再也没有握着刀子的奴隶主了。可是没有某种意义上的主人你们过不下去,于是出现了一批新主人——不是那种伟大的、精力充沛的、高贵的人,而是些蜘蛛一样的精明的生意人,放债人。他们重新奴役看你们——可并不是坦率地奴役,像那些真诚的高贵的、用右手的高压统治你们的人,而是像蜘蛛一样用阴谋、谎言和甜言蜜语阴险地统治你们的人。他们收买你们的奴隶法官,败坏你们的奴隶议会,用比最恶劣的奴役还要可怕的形式奴役你们的奴隶子女。今天在美国,你们有两百万子女在这种生意人的寡头专制之下做苦工,有一千万人缺吃少住。

“不过,话又说回来,我曾经告诉过你们,奴隶社会是长不了的,因为就其本性而言,这样的社会必须消灭发展规律。奴隶的社会一开始组织,立即会蜕变。你们侈谈消灭发展规律,那倒容易,但是能让你保留自己力量的新发展规律又在哪里?提出来吧?是不是已经提出来了?要是提出来了你们说说看。”

马丁在一片哄闹声中回到了座位。一二十个人站了起来,叫喊着要求主席同意发言。他们一个个受到喧闹的欢呼鼓掌的鼓励,怀着火焰和激情,打着激动的手势,回答了对他们的攻击。那是个疯狂的夜晚,但是是智力的疯狂,是思想的交锋。有的人偏离了话题,但是大部分都直接反击了马丁。他们用一些他从没有听见过的思路震撼了他,启发了他,他们并没有提出什么生物学的新规律,而是启示他从新的角度使用旧规律。他们太真诚,不可能永远有礼貌。主席不只一次敲桌子。捶桌子维持秩序。

碰巧那天听众里坐了个半瓶醋记者,是在那个到处是新闻的日子里被派来的。他心急火燎,只想搞到轰动的新闻。作为新手,他不太能干,只会检便宜和信口开河。他没有思想,听不懂他们的讨论,实际上他还有一种高人一等的得意之感,觉得自己比工人阶级这些学里罗嗦的疯子不知要高明多少。他也对身居高位指挥着国家政策和报纸的人必恭必敬,而且有个理想,要出人头地,做一个十全十美的记者,哪怕无中生有也要弄出点名堂——甚至是大名堂来。

这场谈话的意义他并不懂得,也用不着横。革命这类字眼就已经给了他线索。他从革命这一个词就可以虚构出整个的发言,就像古生物学家靠一块骨骼化石就可以建造出一副完整的骨架一样。那天晚上他就是那样搞的,而且搞得很漂亮。由于马丁的发言最引起轰动,他便把一切都写进了马丁嘴里,把他变成了那番骚动里的无政府主义元凶,把他那反动的个人主义理论改造成了最阴险的。穿赤色短衫的社会主义的发泄。那半瓶醋记者是个艺术家,大笔一挥,还加上了些现场色彩——目光疯狂长发飘动的人,神经质的蜕化型的人,激动得发抖的声音,高举的捏紧的拳头,这一切的背景则是愤怒的人们的咒骂、喊叫和低沉的咆哮。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 39楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  39


Over the coffee, in his little room, Martin read next morning's paper. It was a novel experience to find himself head-lined, on the first page at that; and he was surprised to learn that he was the most notorious leader of the Oakland socialists. He ran over the violent speech the cub reporter had constructed for him, and, though at first he was angered by the fabrication, in the end he tossed the paper aside with a laugh.




"Either the man was drunk or criminally malicious," he said that afternoon, from his perch on the bed, when Brissenden had arrived and dropped limply into the one chair.




"But what do you care?" Brissenden asked. "Surely you don't desire the approval of the bourgeois swine that read the newspapers?"




Martin thought for a while, then said:-




"No, I really don't care for their approval, not a whit. On the other hand, it's very likely to make my relations with Ruth's family a trifle awkward. Her father always contended I was a socialist, and this miserable stuff will clinch his belief. Not that I care for his opinion - but what's the odds? I want to read you what I've been doing to-day. It's 'Overdue,' of course, and I'm just about halfway through."




He was reading aloud when Maria thrust open the door and ushered in a young man in a natty suit who glanced briskly about him, noting the oil-burner and the kitchen in the corner before his gaze wandered on to Martin.




"Sit down," Brissenden said.




Martin made room for the young man on the bed and waited for him to broach his business.




"I heard you speak last night, Mr. Eden, and I've come to interview you," he began.




Brissenden burst out in a hearty laugh.




"A brother socialist?" the reporter asked, with a quick glance at Brissenden that appraised the color-value of that cadaverous and dying man.




"And he wrote that report," Martin said softly. "Why, he is only a boy!"




"Why don't you poke him?" Brissenden asked. "I'd give a thousand dollars to have my lungs back for five minutes."




The cub reporter was a trifle perplexed by this talking over him and around him and at him. But he had been commended for his brilliant description of the socialist meeting and had further been detailed to get a personal interview with Martin Eden, the leader of the organized menace to society.




"You do not object to having your picture taken, Mr. Eden?" he said. "I've a staff photographer outside, you see, and he says it will be better to take you right away before the sun gets lower. Then we can have the interview afterward."




"A photographer," Brissenden said meditatively. "Poke him, Martin! Poke him!"




"I guess I'm getting old," was the answer. "I know I ought, but I really haven't the heart. It doesn't seem to matter."




"For his mother's sake," Brissenden urged.




"It's worth considering," Martin replied; "but it doesn't seem worth while enough to rouse sufficient energy in me. You see, it does take energy to give a fellow a poking. Besides, what does it matter?"




"That's right - that's the way to take it," the cub announced airily, though he had already begun to glance anxiously at the door.




"But it wasn't true, not a word of what he wrote," Martin went on, confining his attention to Brissenden.




"It was just in a general way a description, you understand," the cub ventured, "and besides, it's good advertising. That's what counts. It was a favor to you."




"It's good advertising, Martin, old boy," Brissenden repeated solemnly.




"And it was a favor to me - think of that!" was Martin's contribution.




"Let me see - where were you born, Mr. Eden?" the cub asked, assuming an air of expectant attention.




"He doesn't take notes," said Brissenden. "He remembers it all."




"That is sufficient for me." The cub was trying not to look worried. "No decent reporter needs to bother with notes."




"That was sufficient - for last night." But Brissenden was not a disciple of quietism, and he changed his attitude abruptly. "Martin, if you don't poke him, I'll do it myself, if I fall dead on the floor the next moment."




"How will a spanking do?" Martin asked.




Brissenden considered judicially, and nodded his head.




The next instant Martin was seated on the edge of the bed with the cub face downward across his knees.




"Now don't bite," Martin warned, "or else I'll have to punch your face. It would be a pity, for it is such a pretty face."




His uplifted hand descended, and thereafter rose and fell in a swift and steady rhythm. The cub struggled and cursed and squirmed, but did not offer to bite. Brissenden looked on gravely, though once he grew excited and gripped the whiskey bottle, pleading, "Here, just let me swat him once."




"Sorry my hand played out," Martin said, when at last he desisted. "It is quite numb."




He uprighted the cub and perched him on the bed.




"I'll have you arrested for this," he snarled, tears of boyish indignation running down his flushed cheeks. "I'll make you sweat for this. You'll see."




"The pretty thing," Martin remarked. "He doesn't realize that he has entered upon the downward path. It is not honest, it is not square, it is not manly, to tell lies about one's fellow-creatures the way he has done, and he doesn't know it."




"He has to come to us to be told," Brissenden filled in a pause.




"Yes, to me whom he has maligned and injured. My grocery will undoubtedly refuse me credit now. The worst of it is that the poor boy will keep on this way until he deteriorates into a first-class newspaper man and also a first-class scoundrel."




"But there is yet time," quoth Brissenden. "Who knows but what you may prove the humble instrument to save him. Why didn't you let me swat him just once? I'd like to have had a hand in it."




"I'll have you arrested, the pair of you, you b-b-big brutes," sobbed the erring soul.




"No, his mouth is too pretty and too weak." Martin shook his head lugubriously. "I'm afraid I've numbed my hand in vain. The young man cannot reform. He will become eventually a very great and successful newspaper man. He has no conscience. That alone will make him great."




With that the cub passed out the door in trepidation to the last for fear that Brissenden would hit him in the back with the bottle he still clutched.




In the next morning's paper Martin learned a great deal more about himself that was new to him. "We are the sworn enemies of society," he found himself quoted as saying in a column interview. "No, we are not anarchists but socialists." When the reporter pointed out to him that there seemed little difference between the two schools, Martin had shrugged his shoulders in silent affirmation. His face was described as bilaterally asymmetrical, and various other signs of degeneration were described. Especially notable were his thuglike hands and the fiery gleams in his blood- shot eyes.




He learned, also, that he spoke nightly to the workmen in the City Hall Park, and that among the anarchists and agitators that there inflamed the minds of the people he drew the largest audiences and made the most revolutionary speeches. The cub painted a high-light picture of his poor little room, its oil-stove and the one chair, and of the death's-head tramp who kept him company and who looked as if he had just emerged from twenty years of solitary confinement in some fortress dungeon.




The cub had been industrious. He had scurried around and nosed out Martin's family history, and procured a photograph of Higginbotham's Cash Store with Bernard Higginbotham himself standing out in front. That gentleman was depicted as an intelligent, dignified businessman who had no patience with his brother-in-law's socialistic views, and no patience with the brother-in-law, either, whom he was quoted as characterizing as a lazy good-for-nothing who wouldn't take a job when it was offered to him and who would go to jail yet. Hermann Yon Schmidt, Marian's husband, had likewise been interviewed. He had called Martin the black sheep of the family and repudiated him. "He tried to sponge off of me, but I put a stop to that good and quick," Von Schmidt had said to the reporter. "He knows better than to come bumming around here. A man who won't work is no good, take that from me."




This time Martin was genuinely angry. Brissenden looked upon the affair as a good joke, but he could not console Martin, who knew that it would be no easy task to explain to Ruth. As for her father, he knew that he must be overjoyed with what had happened and that he would make the most of it to break off the engagement. How much he would make of it he was soon to realize. The afternoon mail brought a letter from Ruth. Martin opened it with a premonition of disaster, and read it standing at the open door when he had received it from the postman. As he read, mechanically his hand sought his pocket for the tobacco and brown paper of his old cigarette days. He was not aware that the pocket was empty or that he had even reached for the materials with which to roll a cigarette.




It was not a passionate letter. There were no touches of anger in it. But all the way through, from the first sentence to the last, was sounded the note of hurt and disappointment. She had expected better of him. She had thought he had got over his youthful wildness, that her love for him had been sufficiently worth while to enable him to live seriously and decently. And now her father and mother had taken a firm stand and commanded that the engagement be broken. That they were justified in this she could not but admit. Their relation could never be a happy one. It had been unfortunate from the first. But one regret she voiced in the whole letter, and it was a bitter one to Martin. "If only you had settled down to some position and attempted to make something of yourself," she wrote. "But it was not to be. Your past life had been too wild and irregular. I can understand that you are not to be blamed. You could act only according to your nature and your early training. So I do not blame you, Martin. Please remember that. It was simply a mistake. As father and mother have contended, we were not made for each other, and we should both be happy because it was discovered not too late." . . "There is no use trying to see me," she said toward the last. "It would be an unhappy meeting for both of us, as well as for my mother. I feel, as it is, that I have caused her great pain and worry. I shall have to do much living to atone for it."




He read it through to the end, carefully, a second time, then sat down and replied. He outlined the remarks he had uttered at the socialist meeting, pointing out that they were in all ways the converse of what the newspaper had put in his mouth. Toward the end of the letter he was God's own lover pleading passionately for love. "Please answer," he said, "and in your answer you have to tell me but one thing. Do you love me? That is all - the answer to that one question."




But no answer came the next day, nor the next. "Overdue" lay untouched upon the table, and each day the heap of returned manuscripts under the table grew larger. For the first time Martin's glorious sleep was interrupted by insomnia, and he tossed through long, restless nights. Three times he called at the Morse home, but was turned away by the servant who answered the bell. Brissenden lay sick in his hotel, too feeble to stir out, and, though Martin was with him often, he did not worry him with his troubles.




For Martin's troubles were many. The aftermath of the cub reporter's deed was even wider than Martin had anticipated. The Portuguese grocer refused him further credit, while the greengrocer, who was an American and proud of it, had called him a traitor to his country and refused further dealings with him - carrying his patriotism to such a degree that he cancelled Martin's account and forbade him ever to attempt to pay it. The talk in the neighborhood reflected the same feeling, and indignation against Martin ran high. No one would have anything to do with a socialist traitor. Poor Maria was dubious and frightened, but she remained loyal. The children of the neighborhood recovered from the awe of the grand carriage which once had visited Martin, and from safe distances they called him "hobo" and "bum." The Silva tribe, however, stanchly defended him, fighting more than one pitched battle for his honor, and black eyes and bloody noses became quite the order of the day and added to Maria's perplexities and troubles.




Once, Martin met Gertrude on the street, down in Oakland, and learned what he knew could not be otherwise - that Bernard Higginbotham was furious with him for having dragged the family into public disgrace, and that he had forbidden him the house.




"Why don't you go away, Martin?" Gertrude had begged. "Go away and get a job somewhere and steady down. Afterwards, when this all blows over, you can come back."




Martin shook his head, but gave no explanations. How could he explain? He was appalled at the awful intellectual chasm that yawned between him and his people. He could never cross it and explain to them his position, - the Nietzschean position, in regard to socialism. There were not words enough in the English language, nor in any language, to make his attitude and conduct intelligible to them. Their highest concept of right conduct, in his case, was to get a job. That was their first word and their last. It constituted their whole lexicon of ideas. Get a job! Go to work! Poor, stupid slaves, he thought, while his sister talked. Small wonder the world belonged to the strong. The slaves were obsessed by their own slavery. A job was to them a golden fetich before which they fell down and worshipped.




He shook his head again, when Gertrude offered him money, though he knew that within the day he would have to make a trip to the pawnbroker.




"Don't come near Bernard now," she admonished him. "After a few months, when he is cooled down, if you want to, you can get the job of drivin' delivery-wagon for him. Any time you want me, just send for me an' I'll come. Don't forget."




She went away weeping audibly, and he felt a pang of sorrow shoot through him at sight of her heavy body and uncouth gait. As he watched her go, the Nietzschean edifice seemed to shake and totter. The slave-class in the abstract was all very well, but it was not wholly satisfactory when it was brought home to his own family. And yet, if there was ever a slave trampled by the strong, that slave was his sister Gertrude. He grinned savagely at the paradox. A fine Nietzsche-man he was, to allow his intellectual concepts to be shaken by the first sentiment or emotion that strayed along - ay, to be shaken by the slave-morality itself, for that was what his pity for his sister really was. The true noble men were above pity and compassion. Pity and compassion had been generated in the subterranean barracoons of the slaves and were no more than the agony and sweat of the crowded miserables and weaklings.
马丁是在小屋里喝着咖啡时读到第二天早上的报纸的。他得到了一个惊人的经验:发现自己以头版头条的位置登到了报上,而且成了奥克兰的社会党人臭名昭著的头子。他匆匆读完了那半瓶醋记者为他编造的激烈言论,虽然开始时很为那胡编乱造生气,后来却只笑了一笑便把那报纸扔到了一边。

“那家伙要不是喝醉了酒就是恶意诽谤。”那天下午他坐在床上说,那时布里森登来了,歪歪倒倒坐进了那唯一的椅子。

“那你管他干什么,”布里森登问他,“你肯定不会认为在报上读到这消息的资产阶级猪猡们会赞成你的话吧?”

马丁想了一会儿,说:——

“不,他们是否赞成我倒真不在乎,毫不在乎。可另一方面,这却能害得我跟露丝一家的关系更别扭。她爸爸总一D咬定说我是个社会主义者,现在这讨厌的玩意会叫他更加深信不疑的。我对他的意见倒不在乎——不过,那又算得什么?我想让你听听我今天才写的东西。当然,就是叫《过期》的那篇,写了才差不多一半。”

他正在朗读,玛利亚推开门,引进了一个年轻人。那人服装整齐,一进门先匆匆打量了布里森登一眼,注意到了煤油炉子和厨房,目光又回到马丁身上。

“坐,”布里森登说。

马丁在床上给年轻人让了个座位,等着他说明来意。

“我昨天晚上听了你的发言,伊登先生,现在是来采访你。”他开始了。

布里森登不禁哈哈大笑。

“他是你社会党的弟兄么?”记者急忙瞥了布里森登一眼,估计了一下那形容柏槁的快要死去的入的赤化程度,问道。

“那篇报道难道就是他写的么,”马丁低声说,“嗨,还是个娃娃呢!”

“你怎么不接他一顿?”布里森登问道,“要是能让我的肺恢复五分钟健康,我愿意出一千块钱。”

两人这样当着他的面不客气地议论他,使那半瓶醋记者有几分狼狈。但是他因为那篇对社会党集会的精彩报道曾受到表扬,并且得到指示要进一步采访马丁·伊甸本人——那个威胁着社会的组织的头目。

“你不会反对给你拍一张照片吧,伊登先生?”他说,“我们报社有个摄影师就在外面,你看,他说最好趁阳光还没有再往下斜时就拍,拍完我们再谈。”

“摄影师?”布里森登思量着,说,“揍他,马丁。揍他!”

“看来我年纪已经太大,”是马丁的回答,“我知道该揍他,可还真没有那心情。大概不会有什么关系吧。”

“替他妈妈教训他一顿,”布里森登催促他。

“那就值得考虑了,”马丁回答,“不过我似乎还鼓不起劲来。你看,揍人是要花力气的。而且,那又有什么关系?”

“不错,这才是处理问题的办法,”半瓶醋记者吊儿郎当地宣布,虽然他已开始不放心地打量着房门。

“不过他那全胡说。他发表的东西没有一句真话。”马丁的眼睛只看布里森登。

“那只不过是一般性的描写,你明白的,”那半瓶醋记者大着胆地回答,“何况,那也是很好的宣传。对你可是一种优惠,很合算的。”

“那可是很好的宣传呀,马丁老弟。”布里森登然有介事地重复记者的话。

“那还是给我的优惠呢——你看!”马丁附和。

“我看看——你生在什么地方,伊登先生?”半瓶醋记者问,摆出仔细听的样子。

“你看,他连笔记也不做,”布里森登说,“全靠脑子记。”

“我只用脑子记就行了,”那半瓶醋记者装出并不担心的样子。

“他昨天晚上也全是靠脑子记的,”布里森登可不是沉默主义的信徒。他突然改变了态度。“马丁,你要是不揍他,我就自己动手了,哪怕会叫我马上摔死在地上。”

“打他一顿屁股怎么样?”马丁问。

布里森登冷静地考虑了一会儿,点了点头。

转瞬之间马丁已坐到了床边,那半瓶醋记者已经趴在了他的膝盖上。

“现在你可别咬,”马丁警告他,“否则我就揍你的脸。你那张脸挺漂亮的,捧破了就太遗憾了。”

他挥起的手落了下来,接着就迅速地、有节奏地揍了起来。那半瓶醋记者挣扎着、咒骂着、扭动着,的确没有动口咬。布里森登一本正经地望着,尽管他有一回激动了起来,抓起了威士忌酒瓶,请求道:“来,让我也砸他一家伙。”

“抱歉,我的手没有劲了,”马丁终于停住,说,“打麻木了。”

他放掉了记者,让他坐在床上。

“我会叫人把你们抓起来的,”那人龇牙咧嘴地说,通红的面颊上眼泪婆娑,像满肚子委屈的孩子。“我会叫你们够受的。你们走着瞧。”

“小白脸,”马丁评论道,“他还不知道自己已经走上堕落的路了呢。像他那样拿他自己的同胞撒谎是不诚实的、不公正的,也不像个男子汉,而他竟然不觉得。”

“他得到我们这儿来听我们告诉他,”一阵沉默之后,布里森登说了下去。

“是的,对于受到他的诬蔑诽谤的我,那就意味着杂货店老板再也不会赊帐给我了。而最糟糕的是这可怜的娃娃就会这么继续胡闹下去,直到堕落成为一个头等的新闻记者兼头等流氓。”

“不过也许还来得及,”布里森登说,“你这个不算高明的手段说不定还能救他。你为什么不让我也敲他一家伙?我也想拉他一把呢。”

“我要把你们俩都抓起来,你们俩,大——大——大坏蛋,”那误入歧途的灵魂抽抽搭搭地说。

“不,他那嘴太好看,也太差劲,”马丁板着脸摇摇头说,“我担心是白白地打麻了我的手。这小伙子怕是改不了了,他最终会变成一个成功的大记者的。他没有良心,就凭这一条他就能飞黄腾达。”

那半瓶醋记者就这样走出了门。他心惊胆战,生怕布里森登会拿他还攥在手里的酒瓶从背后敲他一家伙。

马丁从第二天的报纸上读到了许多关于他自己的东西,那些东西他自己也觉得新鲜。“我们是社会的不共戴夫之敌,”他发现自己在一个专栏采访里说,“不,我们不是无政府主义者,而是社会主义者。”而在记者向他指出这两个派别似乎没有差异的时候,马丁便耸了耸肩,默认了。他的脸被描写成两面不对称,还涂上了些别的堕落迹象。特别引人注目的还有他那一双打手般的手,和充血的双眼里露出的凶光。

他还读到他每天晚上都要在市政厅公园向工人们演说,在那些蛊惑群众的无政府主义者和煽动家之中是听众最多、发言最激烈的一个。那半瓶醋记者对他那贫穷的小屋、煤油炉子、唯一的椅子,和跟他做伴的骷髅一样的流浪汉做了特写。说那人就像刚在什么要塞的地牢里单独囚禁了二十年之后才放出来的。

那半瓶醋记者很花了一点功夫。他四面打听,嗅出了一些马丁的家庭历史,弄到了一张希金波坦现金商店的照片,照片上伯纳德·希金波坦站在门口。那位先生被描写成了一个聪明庄重的商人,对于他的小舅子的社会主义观点和那位小舅子本人都受不了。据他说马丁的特点就是无所事事,游手好闲,给他工作也不做,早晚是会去蹲班房的。他也采访到了茉莉安的丈夫冯·史密特。史密特把马丁称作他们家族的害群之马,表示和他绝了交。“他想揩我的油,可我立即让他完全断了那念头,”冯·史密特告诉记者,“他知道从我这地捞不到什么,就不来鬼混了。不干活的人是不会干好事的,相信我。”

这一回马丁真生气了。布里森登把这事看作一个大玩笑,却无法安慰马丁。马丁知道很难向露丝解释清楚。至于她的父亲,他知道他会因为这事喜出望外,一定会尽量利用它解除他们俩的婚约。

他马上就明白了那老人利用此事到了什么程度。午后的一班邮件带来了一封露丝的信。马丁预感到会有灾难,从邮递员手上接过信,拆开,就站在门口看了起来。读信时机械地摸着日袋,想跟以往抽烟时一样掏出烟叶和棕色纸,他没有意识到口袋里早已空空如也,也没有意识到伸手掏过卷烟材料,想卷烟抽。

那信没有热情,也没有愤怒的迹象。但是从第一句到最后一句全是受到伤害和失望的调子。她曾期望他比现在更好,曾以为他青年时期的胡闹已经过去,曾以为她对他的爱情已足够促使他过起严肃正派的生活。而现在她的父亲和母亲已经采取了坚决的立场,命令她解除婚约,而她却只好承认他们是有道理的。他们俩的这种关系决不会幸福,从开头就没有幸福过。在整封信里她只表示了一点遗憾:对马丁的严重遗憾。“如果你一开头就找个职位安下心来做出点成绩,那就好了,”她写道,“可是你不肯,你过去的生活太胡闹,太放纵。那不能怪你,这我可以理解。你只能按照你的天性和早期受到的培养行动。因此我并不责备你,马丁。请记住这一点。那只是一个错误。正如爸爸妈妈所坚持的,我们注定了不是一对,因此我们俩都应当高兴,高兴发现得还不算太晚。”……“别想来看我了,那没有用,”结尾时她写道,“见面对我们俩和我的母亲都是不会愉快的。就像现在这样,我已经觉得给了她极大的痛苦和烦恼了。我得过好多日子才能弥补起来。”

他又把信从头到尾仔仔细细读了一遍,然后坐下来写回信。他概括地介绍了一下他在社会党会上的发言,指出他说的话跟报上讲的他的发言恰好相反。在信末他又成了上帝的情人,热情洋溢地表白了爱情。“请回信,”他说,“回信时只需回答我一个问题:你是否爱我?就这一个问题。”

可是第二天却没有回信,第三天也没有。《过期》躺在桌上,他也没有去碰。桌下的退稿一天天增加。马丁的睡眠一向极酣畅,现在却第一次遭到了失眠的干扰。漫长的夜里他辗转反侧,通宵不寐。他到莫尔斯家去拜访了三次,三次都叫应门的仆人挡了驾。布里森登病了,躺在旅馆里,身体虚弱,不能行动。马丁虽然常和他在一起,却没有拿自己的烦恼去麻烦他。

马丁的麻烦很多,那半瓶醋记者的行为带来的后果比马丁预计的大了许多。葡萄牙杂货商拒绝赊给他东西了。蔬菜商是个美国人,并以此而自豪。他把他叫做卖国贼,拒绝跟他再有往来。他的爱国情绪竟高涨到划掉马丁的欠帐不准他还的程度。左邻右舍的谈话也反映了这种情绪,对马丁的义愤越来越严重。没有人愿意跟一个相信社会主义的卖国贼有来往。可怜的玛利亚也糊涂了,害怕了。可她对他还忠实。附近的孩子们摆脱了从拜访马丁的大马车所引起的敬畏之情,躲在安全的距离以外叫他“二流子”、“瘪三”。可是西尔伐家的孩子们仍然忠心耿耿地保卫着他,为了他的荣誉不止一次安营扎寨大打出手。眼睛打乌鼻子出血在那段时间成了家常便饭,那叫玛利亚更加惶惑、更加烦恼了。

有一回马丁在奥克兰街上遇见了格特露,听她说了些他知道必然会发生的事——伯纳德·希金波坦因为他在公众面前丢了全家人的脸对他大为光火,不许他再进他的屋。

“你怎么不离开这儿,马丁?”格特露求他,“到别的什么地方去找个工作,安定下来吧。等这阵风刮过了再回来。”

马丁摇摇头,却没有解释。他能怎么解释?他和他的家人之间大张着一个可怕的智力鸿沟,他为那鸿沟感到恐怖。他无法跨越那鸿沟向他们解释自己的立场——他对社会主义的尼采式的立场。在英语里,在一切语言里,都找不到足够的词汇去向他们解释清楚他的态度和行为。在他们心目中他的良好行为的最高观念就是找个工作。那就是他们的第一个也是最后一个意见,也就是他们思想的全部词汇。找一份工作!干活儿去!可怜的、愚昧的奴隶们,他想道。他姐姐还在说话。难怪世界属于强者。奴隶们都为自己能做奴隶感到陶醉呢。一份工作便是他们崇拜的黄金偶像,他们在工作面前五体投地,顶礼膜拜。

格特震要给他钱,他又摇了摇头,虽然他明白那天他就非得去上当铺不可。

“现在可别到伯纳德身边去,”她急忙劝告他,“你若是愿意,等他几个月以后冷静下来,可以让他把开送货车的工作给你。需要我的时候就通知我,我会立即来的,别忘了。”

她走掉了,他能听见她的哭声。望着她那沉重的身影和蹒跚的脚步,一阵凄凉的辛酸不禁穿过他。心里。他望着她走掉时,他那尼采式的华厦似乎动摇了,垮塌了。抽象的奴隶阶级倒没有什么,但是奴隶阶级到了自己家里就不那么圆满了。而且,若是真有什么奴隶在受到强者蹂躏的话,那就是他的姐姐格特露。面临着这个矛盾怪圈他放肆地笑了。好个尼采的信徒!他那理性的思想竟会团第一次的情绪波动而动摇——是的,因奴隶道德而动摇,因为他对他的姐姐的怜悯事实上便是奴隶道德。真正高贵的人是超越怜悯和同情的。怜悯和同情产生于关押和贩卖奴隶的地窖里,不过是挤成一团的受苦者和软弱者的痛苦和汗水而已。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

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