《Dombey and Son》——董贝父子(中英文对照)完结_派派后花园

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[Novel] 《Dombey and Son》——董贝父子(中英文对照)完结

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Chapter 40
Domestic Relations
It was not in the nature of things that a man of Mr Dombey's mood, opposed to such a spirit as he had raised against himself, should be softened in the imperious asperity of his temper; or that the cold hard armour of pride in which he lived encased, should be made more flexible by constant collision with haughty scorn and defiance. It is the curse of such a nature - it is a main part of the heavy retribution on itself it bears within itself - that while deference and concession swell its evil qualities, and are the food it grows upon, resistance and a questioning of its exacting claims, foster it too, no less. The evil that is in it finds equally its means of growth and propagation in opposites. It draws support and life from sweets and bitters; bowed down before, or unacknowledged, it still enslaves the breast in which it has its throne; and, worshipped or rejected, is as hard a master as the Devil in dark fables.
Towards his first wife, Mr Dombey, in his cold and lofty arrogance, had borne himself like the removed Being he almost conceived himself to be. He had been 'Mr Dombey' with her when she first saw him, and he was 'Mr Dombey' when she died. He had asserted his greatness during their whole married life, and she had meekly recognised it. He had kept his distant seat of state on the top of his throne, and she her humble station on its lowest step; and much good it had done him, so to live in solitary bondage to his one idea. He had imagined that the proud character of his second wife would have been added to his own - would have merged into it, and exalted his greatness. He had pictured himself haughtier than ever, with Edith's haughtiness subservient to his. He had never entertained the possibility of its arraying itself against him. And now, when he found it rising in his path at every step and turn of his daily life, fixing its cold, defiant, and contemptuous face upon him, this pride of his, instead of withering, or hanging down its head beneath the shock, put forth new shoots, became more concentrated and intense, more gloomy, sullen, irksome, and unyielding, than it had ever been before.
Who wears such armour, too, bears with him ever another heavy retribution. It is of proof against conciliation, love, and confidence; against all gentle sympathy from without, all trust, all tenderness, all soft emotion; but to deep stabs in the self-love, it is as vulnerable as the bare breast to steel; and such tormenting festers rankle there, as follow on no other wounds, no, though dealt with the mailed hand of Pride itself, on weaker pride, disarmed and thrown down.
Such wounds were his. He felt them sharply, in the solitude of his old rooms; whither he now began often to retire again, and pass long solitary hours. It seemed his fate to be ever proud and powerful; ever humbled and powerless where he would be most strong. Who seemed fated to work out that doom?
Who? Who was it who could win his wife as she had won his boy? Who was it who had shown him that new victory, as he sat in the dark corner? Who was it whose least word did what his utmost means could not? Who was it who, unaided by his love, regard or notice, thrived and grew beautiful when those so aided died? Who could it be, but the same child at whom he had often glanced uneasily in her motherless infancy, with a kind of dread, lest he might come to hate her; and of whom his foreboding was fulfilled, for he DID hate her in his heart?
Yes, and he would have it hatred, and he made it hatred, though some sparkles of the light in which she had appeared before him on the memorable night of his return home with his Bride, occasionally hung about her still. He knew now that she was beautiful; he did not dispute that she was graceful and winning, and that in the bright dawn of her womanhood she had come upon him, a surprise. But he turned even this against her. In his sullen and unwholesome brooding, the unhappy man, with a dull perception of his alienation from all hearts, and a vague yearning for what he had all his life repelled, made a distorted picture of his rights and wrongs, and justified himself with it against her. The worthier she promised to be of him, the greater claim he was disposed to antedate upon her duty and submission. When had she ever shown him duty and submission? Did she grace his life - or Edith's? Had her attractions been manifested first to him - or Edith? Why, he and she had never been, from her birth, like father and child! They had always been estranged. She had crossed him every way and everywhere. She was leagued against him now. Her very beauty softened natures that were obdurate to him, and insulted him with an unnatural triumph.
It may have been that in all this there were mutterings of an awakened feeling in his breast, however selfishly aroused by his position of disadvantage, in comparison with what she might have made his life. But he silenced the distant thunder with the rolling of his sea of pride. He would bear nothing but his pride. And in his pride, a heap of inconsistency, and misery, and self-inflicted torment, he hated her.
To the moody, stubborn, sullen demon, that possessed him, his wife opposed her different pride in its full force. They never could have led a happy life together; but nothing could have made it more unhappy, than the wilful and determined warfare of such elements. His pride was set upon maintaining his magnificent supremacy, and forcing recognition of it from her. She would have been racked to death, and turned but her haughty glance of calm inflexible disdain upon him, to the last. Such recognition from Edith! He little knew through what a storm and struggle she had been driven onward to the crowning honour of his hand. He little knew how much she thought she had conceded, when she suffered him to call her wife.
Mr Dombey was resolved to show her that he was supreme. There must be no will but his. Proud he desired that she should be, but she must be proud for, not against him. As he sat alone, hardening, he would often hear her go out and come home, treading the round of London life with no more heed of his liking or disliking, pleasure or displeasure, than if he had been her groom. Her cold supreme indifference - his own unquestioned attribute usurped - stung him more than any other kind of treatment could have done; and he determined to bend her to his magnificent and stately will.
He had been long communing with these thoughts, when one night he sought her in her own apartment, after he had heard her return home late. She was alone, in her brilliant dress, and had but that moment come from her mother's room. Her face was melancholy and pensive, when he came upon her; but it marked him at the door; for, glancing at the mirror before it, he saw immediately, as in a picture-frame, the knitted brow, and darkened beauty that he knew so well.
'Mrs Dombey,' he said, entering, 'I must beg leave to have a few words with you.'
'To-morrow,' she replied.
'There is no time like the present, Madam,' he returned. 'You mistake your position. I am used to choose my own times; not to have them chosen for me. I think you scarcely understand who and what I am, Mrs Dombey.
'I think,' she answered, 'that I understand you very well.'
She looked upon him as she said so, and folding her white arms, sparkling with gold and gems, upon her swelling breast, turned away her eyes.
If she had been less handsome, and less stately in her cold composure, she might not have had the power of impressing him with the sense of disadvantage that penetrated through his utmost pride. But she had the power, and he felt it keenly. He glanced round the room: saw how the splendid means of personal adornment, and the luxuries of dress, were scattered here and there, and disregarded; not in mere caprice and carelessness (or so he thought), but in a steadfast haughty disregard of costly things: and felt it more and more. Chaplets of flowers, plumes of feathers, jewels, laces, silks and satins; look where he would, he saw riches, despised, poured out, and. made of no account. The very diamonds - a marriage gift - that rose and fell impatiently upon her bosom, seemed to pant to break the chain that clasped them round her neck, and roll down on the floor where she might tread upon them.
He felt his disadvantage, and he showed it. Solemn and strange among this wealth of colour and voluptuous glitter, strange and constrained towards its haughty mistress, whose repellent beauty it repeated, and presented all around him, as in so many fragments of a mirror, he was conscious of embarrassment and awkwardness. Nothing that ministered to her disdainful self-possession could fail to gall him. Galled and irritated with himself, he sat down, and went on, in no improved humour:
'Mrs Dombey, it is very necessary that there should be some understanding arrived at between us. Your conduct does not please me, Madam.'
She merely glanced at him again, and again averted her eyes; but she might have spoken for an hour, and expressed less.
'I repeat, Mrs Dombey, does not please me. I have already taken occasion to request that it may be corrected. I now insist upon it.'
'You chose a fitting occasion for your first remonstrance, Sir, and you adopt a fitting manner, and a fitting word for your second. You insist! To me!'
'Madam,' said Mr Dombey, with his most offensive air of state, 'I have made you my wife. You bear my name. You are associated with my position and my reputation. I will not say that the world in general may be disposed to think you honoured by that association; but I will say that I am accustomed to "insist," to my connexions and dependents.'
'Which may you be pleased to consider me? she asked.
'Possibly I may think that my wife should partake - or does partake, and cannot help herself - of both characters, Mrs Dombey.'
She bent her eyes upon him steadily, and set her trembling lips. He saw her bosom throb, and saw her face flush and turn white. All this he could know, and did: but he could not know that one word was whispering in the deep recesses of her heart, to keep her quiet; and that the word was Florence.
Blind idiot, rushing to a precipice! He thought she stood in awe of him.
'You are too expensive, Madam,' said Mr Dombey. 'You are extravagant. You waste a great deal of money - or what would be a great deal in the pockets of most gentlemen - in cultivating a kind of society that is useless to me, and, indeed, that upon the whole is disagreeable to me. I have to insist upon a total change in all these respects. I know that in the novelty of possessing a tithe of such means as Fortune has placed at your disposal, ladies are apt to run into a sudden extreme. There has been more than enough of that extreme. I beg that Mrs Granger's very different experiences may now come to the instruction of Mrs Dombey.'
Still the fixed look, the trembling lips, the throbbing breast, the face now crimson and now white; and still the deep whisper Florence, Florence, speaking to her in the beating of her heart.
His insolence of self-importance dilated as he saw this alteration in her. Swollen no less by her past scorn of him, and his so recent feeling of disadvantage, than by her present submission (as he took it to be), it became too mighty for his breast, and burst all bounds. Why, who could long resist his lofty will and pleasure! He had resolved to conquer her, and look here!
'You will further please, Madam,' said Mr Dombey, in a tone of sovereign command, 'to understand distinctly, that I am to be deferred to and obeyed. That I must have a positive show and confession of deference before the world, Madam. I am used to this. I require it as my right. In short I will have it. I consider it no unreasonable return for the worldly advancement that has befallen you; and I believe nobody will be surprised, either at its being required from you, or at your making it. - To Me - To Me!' he added, with emphasis.
No word from her. No change in her. Her eyes upon him.
'I have learnt from your mother, Mrs Dombey,' said Mr Dombey, with magisterial importance, what no doubt you know, namely, that Brighton is recommended for her health. Mr Carker has been so good
She changed suddenly. Her face and bosom glowed as if the red light of an angry sunset had been flung upon them. Not unobservant of the change, and putting his own interpretation upon it, Mr Dombey resumed:
'Mr Carker has been so good as to go down and secure a house there, for a time. On the return of the establishment to London, I shall take such steps for its better management as I consider necessary. One of these, will be the engagement at Brighton (if it is to be effected), of a very respectable reduced person there, a Mrs Pipchin, formerly employed in a situation of trust in my family, to act as housekeeper. An establishment like this, presided over but nominally, Mrs Dombey, requires a competent head.'
She had changed her attitude before he arrived at these words, and now sat - still looking at him fixedly - turning a bracelet round and round upon her arm; not winding it about with a light, womanly touch, but pressing and dragging it over the smooth skin, until the white limb showed a bar of red.
'I observed,' said Mr Dombey - 'and this concludes what I deem it necessary to say to you at present, Mrs Dombey - I observed a moment ago, Madam, that my allusion to Mr Carker was received in a peculiar manner. On the occasion of my happening to point out to you, before that confidential agent, the objection I had to your mode of receiving my visitors, you were pleased to object to his presence. You will have to get the better of that objection, Madam, and to accustom yourself to it very probably on many similar occasions; unless you adopt the remedy which is in your own hands, of giving me no cause of complaint. Mr Carker,' said Mr Dombey, who, after the emotion he had just seen, set great store by this means of reducing his proud wife, and who was perhaps sufficiently willing to exhibit his power to that gentleman in a new and triumphant aspect, 'Mr Carker being in my confidence, Mrs Dombey, may very well be in yours to such an extent. I hope, Mrs Dombey,' he continued, after a few moments, during which, in his increasing haughtiness, he had improved on his idea, 'I may not find it necessary ever to entrust Mr Carker with any message of objection or remonstrance to you; but as it would be derogatory to my position and reputation to be frequently holding trivial disputes with a lady upon whom I have conferred the highest distinction that it is in my power to bestow, I shall not scruple to avail myself of his services if I see occasion.'
'And now,' he thought, rising in his moral magnificence, and rising a stiffer and more impenetrable man than ever, 'she knows me and my resolution.'
The hand that had so pressed the bracelet was laid heavily upon her breast, but she looked at him still, with an unaltered face, and said in a low voice:
'Wait! For God's sake! I must speak to you.'
Why did she not, and what was the inward struggle that rendered her incapable of doing so, for minutes, while, in the strong constraint she put upon her face, it was as fixed as any statue's - looking upon him with neither yielding nor unyielding, liking nor hatred, pride not humility: nothing but a searching gaze?
'Did I ever tempt you to seek my hand? Did I ever use any art to win you? Was I ever more conciliating to you when you pursued me, than I have been since our marriage? Was I ever other to you than I am?'
'It is wholly unnecessary, Madam,' said Mr Dombey, 'to enter upon such discussions.'
'Did you think I loved you? Did you know I did not? Did you ever care, Man! for my heart, or propose to yourself to win the worthless thing? Was there any poor pretence of any in our bargain? Upon your side, or on mine?'
'These questions,' said Mr Dombey, 'are all wide of the purpose, Madam.'
She moved between him and the door to prevent his going away, and drawing her majestic figure to its height, looked steadily upon him still.
'You answer each of them. You answer me before I speak, I see. How can you help it; you who know the miserable truth as well as I? Now, tell me. If I loved you to devotion, could I do more than render up my whole will and being to you, as you have just demanded? If my heart were pure and all untried, and you its idol, could you ask more; could you have more?'
'Possibly not, Madam,' he returned coolly.
'You know how different I am. You see me looking on you now, and you can read the warmth of passion for you that is breathing in my face.' Not a curl of the proud lip, not a flash of the dark eye, nothing but the same intent and searching look, accompanied these words. 'You know my general history. You have spoken of my mother. Do you think you can degrade, or bend or break, me to submission and obedience?'
Mr Dombey smiled, as he might have smiled at an inquiry whether he thought he could raise ten thousand pounds.
'If there is anything unusual here,' she said, with a slight motion of her hand before her brow, which did not for a moment flinch from its immovable and otherwise expressionless gaze, 'as I know there are unusual feelings here,' raising the hand she pressed upon her bosom, and heavily returning it, 'consider that there is no common meaning in the appeal I am going to make you. Yes, for I am going;' she said it as in prompt reply to something in his face; 'to appeal to you.'
Mr Dombey, with a slightly condescending bend of his chin that rustled and crackled his stiff cravat, sat down on a sofa that was near him, to hear the appeal.
'If you can believe that I am of such a nature now,' - he fancied he saw tears glistening in her eyes, and he thought, complacently, that he had forced them from her, though none fell on her cheek, and she regarded him as steadily as ever, - 'as would make what I now say almost incredible to myself, said to any man who had become my husband, but, above all, said to you, you may, perhaps, attach the greater weight to it. In the dark end to which we are tending, and may come, we shall not involve ourselves alone (that might not be much) but others.'
Others! He knew at whom that word pointed, and frowned heavily.
'I speak to you for the sake of others. Also your own sake; and for mine. Since our marriage, you have been arrogant to me; and I have repaid you in kind. You have shown to me and everyone around us, every day and hour, that you think I am graced and distinguished by your alliance. I do not think so, and have shown that too. It seems you do not understand, or (so far as your power can go) intend that each of us shall take a separate course; and you expect from me instead, a homage you will never have.'
Although her face was still the same, there was emphatic confirmation of this 'Never' in the very breath she drew.
'I feel no tenderness towards you; that you know. You would care nothing for it, if I did or could. I know as well that you feel none towards me. But we are linked together; and in the knot that ties us, as I have said, others are bound up. We must both die; we are both connected with the dead already, each by a little child. Let us forbear.'
Mr Dombey took a long respiration, as if he would have said, Oh! was this all!
'There is no wealth,' she went on, turning paler as she watched him, while her eyes grew yet more lustrous in their earnestness, 'that could buy these words of me, and the meaning that belongs to them. Once cast away as idle breath, no wealth or power can bring them back. I mean them; I have weighed them; and I will be true to what I undertake. If you will promise to forbear on your part, I will promise to forbear on mine. We are a most unhappy pair, in whom, from different causes, every sentiment that blesses marriage, or justifies it, is rooted out; but in the course of time, some friendship, or some fitness for each other, may arise between us. I will try to hope so, if you will make the endeavour too; and I will look forward to a better and a happier use of age than I have made of youth or prime.
Throughout she had spoken in a low plain voice, that neither rose nor fell; ceasing, she dropped the hand with which she had enforced herself to be so passionless and distinct, but not the eyes with which she had so steadily observed him.
'Madam,' said Mr Dombey, with his utmost dignity, 'I cannot entertain any proposal of this extraordinary nature.
She looked at him yet, without the least change.
'I cannot,' said Mr Dombey, rising as he spoke, 'consent to temporise or treat with you, Mrs Dombey, upon a subject as to which you are in possession of my opinions and expectations. I have stated my ultimatum, Madam, and have only to request your very serious attention to it.'
To see the face change to its old expression, deepened in intensity! To see the eyes droop as from some mean and odious object! To see the lighting of the haughty brow! To see scorn, anger, indignation, and abhorrence starting into sight, and the pale blank earnestness vanish like a mist! He could not choose but look, although he looked to his dismay.
'Go, Sir!' she said, pointing with an imperious hand towards the door. 'Our first and last confidence is at an end. Nothing can make us stranger to each other than we are henceforth.'
'I shall take my rightful course, Madam,' said Mr Dombey, 'undeterred, you may be sure, by any general declamation.'
She turned her back upon him, and, without reply, sat down before her glass.
'I place my reliance on your improved sense of duty, and more correct feeling, and better reflection, Madam,' said Mr Dombey.
She answered not one word. He saw no more expression of any heed of him, in the mirror, than if he had been an unseen spider on the wall, or beetle on the floor, or rather, than if he had been the one or other, seen and crushed when she last turned from him, and forgotten among the ignominious and dead vermin of the ground.
He looked back, as he went out at the door, upon the well-lighted and luxurious room, the beautiful and glittering objects everywhere displayed, the shape of Edith in its rich dress seated before her glass, and the face of Edith as the glass presented it to him; and betook himself to his old chamber of cogitation, carrying away with him a vivid picture in his mind of all these things, and a rambling and unaccountable speculation (such as sometimes comes into a man's head) how they would all look when he saw them next.
For the rest, Mr Dombey was very taciturn, and very dignified, and very confident of carrying out his purpose; and remained so.
He did not design accompanying the family to Brighton; but he graciously informed Cleopatra at breakfast, on the morning of departure, which arrived a day or two afterwards, that he might be expected down, soon. There was no time to be lost in getting Cleopatra to any place recommended as being salutary; for, indeed, she seemed upon the wane, and turning of the earth, earthy.
Without having undergone any decided second attack of her malady, the old woman seemed to have crawled backward in her recovery from the first. She was more lean and shrunken, more uncertain in her imbecility, and made stranger confusions in her mind and memory. Among other symptoms of this last affliction, she fell into the habit of confounding the names of her two sons-in-law, the living and the deceased; and in general called Mr Dombey, either 'Grangeby,' or 'Domber,' or indifferently, both.
But she was youthful, very youthful still; and in her youthfulness appeared at breakfast, before going away, in a new bonnet made express, and a travelling robe that was embroidered and braided like an old baby's. It was not easy to put her into a fly-away bonnet now, or to keep the bonnet in its place on the back of her poor nodding head, when it was got on. In this instance, it had not only the extraneous effect of being always on one side, but of being perpetually tapped on the crown by Flowers the maid, who attended in the background during breakfast to perform that duty.
'Now, my dearest Grangeby,' said Mrs Skewton, 'you must posively prom,' she cut some of her words short, and cut out others altogether, 'come down very soon.'
'I said just now, Madam,' returned Mr Dombey, loudly and laboriously, 'that I am coming in a day or two.'
'Bless you, Domber!'
Here the Major, who was come to take leave of the ladies, and who was staring through his apoplectic eyes at Mrs Skewton's face with the disinterested composure of an immortal being, said:
'Begad, Ma'am, you don't ask old Joe to come!'
'Sterious wretch, who's he?' lisped Cleopatra. But a tap on the bonnet from Flowers seeming to jog her memory, she added, 'Oh! You mean yourself, you naughty creature!'
'Devilish queer, Sir,' whispered the Major to Mr Dombey. 'Bad case. Never did wrap up enough;' the Major being buttoned to the chin. 'Why who should J. B. mean by Joe, but old Joe Bagstock - Joseph - your slave - Joe, Ma'am? Here! Here's the man! Here are the Bagstock bellows, Ma'am!' cried the Major, striking himself a sounding blow on the chest.
'My dearest Edith - Grangeby - it's most trordinry thing,' said Cleopatra, pettishly, 'that Major - '
'Bagstock! J. B.!' cried the Major, seeing that she faltered for his name.
'Well, it don't matter,' said Cleopatra. 'Edith, my love, you know I never could remember names - what was it? oh! - most trordinry thing that so many people want to come down to see me. I'm not going for long. I'm coming back. Surely they can wait, till I come back!'
Cleopatra looked all round the table as she said it, and appeared very uneasy.
'I won't have Vistors - really don't want visitors,' she said; 'little repose - and all that sort of thing - is what I quire. No odious brutes must proach me till I've shaken off this numbness;' and in a grisly resumption of her coquettish ways, she made a dab at the Major with her fan, but overset Mr Dombey's breakfast cup instead, which was in quite a different direction.
Then she called for Withers, and charged him to see particularly that word was left about some trivial alterations in her room, which must be all made before she came back, and which must be set about immediately, as there was no saying how soon she might come back; for she had a great many engagements, and all sorts of people to call upon. Withers received these directions with becoming deference, and gave his guarantee for their execution; but when he withdrew a pace or two behind her, it appeared as if he couldn't help looking strangely at the Major, who couldn't help looking strangely at Mr Dombey, who couldn't help looking strangely at Cleopatra, who couldn't help nodding her bonnet over one eye, and rattling her knife and fork upon her plate in using them, as if she were playing castanets.
Edith alone never lifted her eyes to any face at the table, and never seemed dismayed by anything her mother said or did. She listened to her disjointed talk, or at least, turned her head towards her when addressed; replied in a few low words when necessary; and sometimes stopped her when she was rambling, or brought her thoughts back with a monosyllable, to the point from which they had strayed. The mother, however unsteady in other things, was constant in this - that she was always observant of her. She would look at the beautiful face, in its marble stillness and severity, now with a kind of fearful admiration; now in a giggling foolish effort to move it to a smile; now with capricious tears and jealous shakings of her head, as imagining herself neglected by it; always with an attraction towards it, that never fluctuated like her other ideas, but had constant possession of her. From Edith she would sometimes look at Florence, and back again at Edith, in a manner that was wild enough; and sometimes she would try to look elsewhere, as if to escape from her daughter's face; but back to it she seemed forced to come, although it never sought hers unless sought, or troubled her with one single glance.
The best concluded, Mrs Skewton, affecting to lean girlishly upon the Major's arm, but heavily supported on the other side by Flowers the maid, and propped up behind by Withers the page, was conducted to the carriage, which was to take her, Florence, and Edith to Brighton.
'And is Joseph absolutely banished?' said the Major, thrusting in his purple face over the steps. 'Damme, Ma'am, is Cleopatra so hard-hearted as to forbid her faithful Antony Bagstock to approach the presence?'
'Go along!' said Cleopatra, 'I can't bear you. You shall see me when I come back, if you are very good.'
'Tell Joseph, he may live in hope, Ma'am,' said the Major; 'or he'll die in despair.'
Cleopatra shuddered, and leaned back. 'Edith, my dear,' she said. 'Tell him - '
'What?'
'Such dreadful words,' said Cleopatra. 'He uses such dreadful words!'
Edith signed to him to retire, gave the word to go on, and left the objectionable Major to Mr Dombey. To whom he returned, whistling.
'I'll tell you what, Sir,' said the Major, with his hands behind him, and his legs very wide asunder, 'a fair friend of ours has removed to Queer Street.'
'What do you mean, Major?' inquired Mr Dombey.
'I mean to say, Dombey,' returned the Major, 'that you'll soon be an orphan-in-law.'
Mr Dombey appeared to relish this waggish description of himself so very little, that the Major wound up with the horse's cough, as an expression of gravity.
'Damme, Sir,' said the Major, 'there is no use in disguising a fact. Joe is blunt, Sir. That's his nature. If you take old Josh at all, you take him as you find him; and a devilish rusty, old rasper, of a close-toothed, J. B. file, you do find him. Dombey,' said the Major, 'your wife's mother is on the move, Sir.'
'I fear,' returned Mr Dombey, with much philosophy, 'that Mrs Skewton is shaken.'
'Shaken, Dombey!' said the Major. 'Smashed!'
'Change, however,' pursued Mr Dombey, 'and attention, may do much yet.'
'Don't believe it, Sir,' returned the Major. 'Damme, Sir, she never wrapped up enough. If a man don't wrap up,' said the Major, taking in another button of his buff waistcoat, 'he has nothing to fall back upon. But some people will die. They will do it. Damme, they will. They're obstinate. I tell you what, Dombey, it may not be ornamental; it may not be refined; it may be rough and tough; but a little of the genuine old English Bagstock stamina, Sir, would do all the good in the world to the human breed.'
After imparting this precious piece of information, the Major, who was certainly true-blue, whatever other endowments he may have had or wanted, coming within the 'genuine old English' classification, which has never been exactly ascertained, took his lobster-eyes and his apoplexy to the club, and choked there all day.
Cleopatra, at one time fretful, at another self-complacent, sometimes awake, sometimes asleep, and at all times juvenile, reached Brighton the same night, fell to pieces as usual, and was put away in bed; where a gloomy fancy might have pictured a more potent skeleton than the maid, who should have been one, watching at the rose-coloured curtains, which were carried down to shed their bloom upon her.
It was settled in high council of medical authority that she should take a carriage airing every day, and that it was important she should get out every day, and walk if she could. Edith was ready to attend her - always ready to attend her, with the same mechanical attention and immovable beauty - and they drove out alone; for Edith had an uneasiness in the presence of Florence, now that her mother was worse, and told Florence, with a kiss, that she would rather they two went alone.
Mrs Skewton, on one particular day, was in the irresolute, exacting, jealous temper that had developed itself on her recovery from her first attack. After sitting silent in the carriage watching Edith for some time, she took her hand and kissed it passionately. The hand was neither given nor withdrawn, but simply yielded to her raising of it, and being released, dropped down again, almost as if it were insensible. At this she began to whimper and moan, and say what a mother she had been, and how she was forgotten! This she continued to do at capricious intervals, even when they had alighted: when she herself was halting along with the joint support of Withers and a stick, and Edith was walking by her side, and the carriage slowly following at a little distance.
It was a bleak, lowering, windy day, and they were out upon the Downs with nothing but a bare sweep of land between them and the sky. The mother, with a querulous satisfaction in the monotony of her complaint, was still repeating it in a low voice from time to time, and the proud form of her daughter moved beside her slowly, when there came advancing over a dark ridge before them, two other figures, which in the distance, were so like an exaggerated imitation of their own, that Edith stopped.
Almost as she stopped, the two figures stopped; and that one which to Edith's thinking was like a distorted shadow of her mother, spoke to the other, earnestly, and with a pointing hand towards them. That one seemed inclined to turn back, but the other, in which Edith recognised enough that was like herself to strike her with an unusual feeling, not quite free from fear, came on; and then they came on together.
The greater part of this observation, she made while walking towards them, for her stoppage had been momentary. Nearer observation showed her that they were poorly dressed, as wanderers about the country; that the younger woman carried knitted work or some such goods for sale; and that the old one toiled on empty-handed.
And yet, however far removed she was in dress, in dignity, in beauty, Edith could not but compare the younger woman with herself, still. It may have been that she saw upon her face some traces which she knew were lingering in her own soul, if not yet written on that index; but, as the woman came on, returning her gaze, fixing her shining eyes upon her, undoubtedly presenting something of her own air and stature, and appearing to reciprocate her own thoughts, she felt a chill creep over her, as if the day were darkening, and the wind were colder.
They had now come up. The old woman, holding out her hand importunately, stopped to beg of Mrs Skewton. The younger one stopped too, and she and Edith looked in one another's eyes.
'What is it that you have to sell?' said Edith.
'Only this,' returned the woman, holding out her wares, without looking at them. 'I sold myself long ago.'
'My Lady, don't believe her,' croaked the old woman to Mrs Skewton; 'don't believe what she says. She loves to talk like that. She's my handsome and undutiful daughter. She gives me nothing but reproaches, my Lady, for all I have done for her. Look at her now, my Lady, how she turns upon her poor old mother with her looks.'
As Mrs Skewton drew her purse out with a trembling hand, and eagerly fumbled for some money, which the other old woman greedily watched for - their heads all but touching, in their hurry and decrepitude - Edith interposed:
'I have seen you,' addressing the old woman, 'before.'
'Yes, my Lady,' with a curtsey. 'Down in Warwickshire. The morning among the trees. When you wouldn't give me nothing. But the gentleman, he give me something! Oh, bless him, bless him!' mumbled the old woman, holding up her skinny hand, and grinning frightfully at her daughter.
'It's of no use attempting to stay me, Edith!' said Mrs Skewton, angrily anticipating an objection from her. 'You know nothing about it. I won't be dissuaded. I am sure this is an excellent woman, and a good mother.'
'Yes, my Lady, yes,' chattered the old woman, holding out her avaricious hand. 'Thankee, my Lady. Lord bless you, my Lady. Sixpence more, my pretty Lady, as a good mother yourself.'
'And treated undutifully enough, too, my good old creature, sometimes, I assure you,' said Mrs Skewton, whimpering. 'There! Shake hands with me. You're a very good old creature - full of what's-his-name - and all that. You're all affection and et cetera, ain't you?'
'Oh, yes, my Lady!'
'Yes, I'm sure you are; and so's that gentlemanly creature Grangeby. I must really shake hands with you again. And now you can go, you know; and I hope,' addressing the daughter, 'that you'll show more gratitude, and natural what's-its-name, and all the rest of it - but I never remember names - for there never was a better mother than the good old creature's been to you. Come, Edith!'
As the ruin of Cleopatra tottered off whimpering, and wiping its eyes with a gingerly remembrance of rouge in their neighbourhood, the old woman hobbled another way, mumbling and counting her money. Not one word more, nor one other gesture, had been exchanged between Edith and the younger woman, but neither had removed her eyes from the other for a moment. They had remained confronted until now, when Edith, as awakening from a dream, passed slowly on.
'You're a handsome woman,' muttered her shadow, looking after her; 'but good looks won't save us. And you're a proud woman; but pride won't save us. We had need to know each other when we meet again!'
  一位具有董贝先生那样性格的人,遇到一位由他树立起来反对他本人的强有力人物以后,他那专横、严厉的脾气就会温和起来;或者他所穿戴的冰冷与坚硬的高傲的盔甲,由于受到傲慢的轻蔑和反抗与它不断的碰撞,就会变得柔软一些;——这都是不合乎事物的本性的。高傲是对它本身的沉重报应的主要部分,而这种报应是高傲本身就包含着的。高傲这种性格可恶的地方在于:尊敬与迁就固然能使它邪恶的性质发展起来,但另一方面,对它苛刻的要求进行抗拒和提出异议,也同样会促进它的滋长。它本身所具有的邪恶在它的对立物中也同样能吸取生长与繁殖的力量。它从甜蜜中或从痛苦中都能获得支持和生命。不论它是受到尊敬或是遭到轻视,它总是奴役着它所统治的心胸;不论它是受到崇拜或是遭到拒绝,它总是像悲惨童话中的魔鬼一样,是一位严厉的主人。

  董贝先生在与他第一位妻子之间的关系中,冷酷无情,傲慢自大,一举一动就像是一位高高在上的人物,他几乎也就是这样看待他自己的。对她来说,当她第一次看到他的时候,他是“董贝先生”,当她死去的时候,他仍然是“董贝先生”。在他们整个婚后生活中,他维护着他的崇高的身份,她则恭恭顺顺地承认它。他在他的宝座的顶端保持着他的高不可攀的地位,她则在她的最低下的等级中保持着她的卑贱渺小的地位;他的生活只受自己思想的约束,对他来说,这是何等幸福啊!他曾经想象,他第二位妻子的高傲的性格将和他自己的高傲的性格相加到一块,融合在一起,从而将更增强他崇高的气概。他曾经想象,一旦伊迪丝的高傲充当了他自己的高傲的工具的话,那么他将会比以往任何时候都更目空一切。他根本没有想到她的高傲可能反对他。而现在,他看到他在日常生活中,每迈一步,每转一个弯,它都出现在他的道路上,把它那冷酷的、对抗的、轻蔑的脸孔牢牢对着他,这时候,他的高傲非但没有在冲击下萎缩下去或垂头丧气,反而还长出了新枝,变得比过去任何时候都更集中、更强烈、更阴沉、更不高兴、更令人讨厌和更顽强不屈。

  谁戴上这种盔甲还会给他自己招来另外一种沉重的报应。这种盔甲是安抚、爱情和信任所不能刺穿的!是外界一切温柔的同情所不能刺穿的,是一切信赖、一切亲热、一切温情所不能刺穿的;可是当自负受到了深深的刺戳时,它却像袒露的胸膛遇到钢铁一样容易受伤;这种令人痛苦的脓疮就在那里发炎,它是在其他创伤中不能找到的,它是在跟那种较弱的、解除武装的、被摧毁的高傲(虽然高傲本身有着披戴铠甲的手)打交道时所不能有的。

  他的创伤就是这样的创伤。他在他老房间的一片寂寞中敏锐地感觉到它;他现在又开始隐居到这些房间中,度过漫长的寂寞的时光。似乎命运注定他永远是高傲和有权有势的;同时在他本应当是最强有力的时候,命运却又似乎注定他永远受到屈辱和无能为力。是谁似乎注定要来为他安排出这样的命运的呢?

  是谁?是谁能够赢得他妻子的喜爱,就像她赢得他男孩的喜爱一样?当他坐在那个角落里的时候,是谁曾经向他显示过这个新的胜利?是谁一言半语就达到了他竭尽全力所不能达到的目的?是谁没有得到他的喜爱、关怀或重视,却茁壮地成长起来,出落得漂漂亮亮,而那些得到他帮助的人却已死去了呢?是谁呢,还不就是那个女孩子,在她没有母亲的幼年时代,他曾时常不安地对她看一看,同时心中怀着一种恐惧,唯恐他以后会恨她,而他的这一预感现在已经应验了,因为他·果·真是恨她了。

  是的,他想恨她,而且他已经在心中种下了这种恨,尽管在他和他新婚的妻子回家来的那个难忘的夜晚,她出现在他面前时所闪耀的一些亮光有时还会在她身边游动。他现在明白,她长得美丽;他不怀疑,她优雅可爱;当她初露出成年女性的妩媚的风姿,出现在他面前时,他曾吃了一惊。可是甚至这也成为他憎恶她的理由。在他愁眉不展、有碍健康地在进行沉思的时候,他模糊地意识到他疏离了所有的人们,不很明确地想望得到他这一生所曾厌弃的东西;怀着这样的心绪,这位不幸的人对他的是非曲直作出了一幅歪曲的图画,并因此认为他厌恨她是正确的。她对他看来愈是有价值,他就愈爱对她的孝敬与顺从进行挑剔。她什么时候曾经向他表示过孝敬与顺从呢?她给谁的生活增添了光彩呢,是给他的还是给伊迪丝的?她首先向谁显示了她动人的魅力的呢,是向他还是向伊迪丝?啊,自从她出生以来,他和她从来就不像是父亲和女儿的关系!他们经常是疏远的。她到处妨碍他。现在她又结盟来反对他。正是她的美丽使那些对他执拗不屈的性格温和下来,并以一种不合常情的胜利凌辱了他。

  也许在这一切当中可以听到他心胸中被唤醒了的一种感情的愤愤不平的,这种感情是由于他目前不利的处境,而她本可以使他的生活变成另外一种样子,相形之下所激发出来的(不管这种激发是多么自私)。可是他的高傲的海洋的滚滚浪涛淹没了远方的雷鸣。除了他的高傲外,他不能容忍任何东西。在他的高傲中,堆积着自相矛盾、不幸和自己造成的痛苦。怀着这样的心情,他恨她。

  他的妻子以她不同的高傲竭尽全力对抗着摆布他的那个易怒的、固执的和绷着脸的恶魔。他们永远不能在一起过幸福的生活。可是没有什么能比这种蓄意的、坚决的感情争斗能使他们的生活更加不幸的了。他的高傲决心要维护他的堂堂皇皇、至高无上的地位,并强迫她承认它。她则宁肯被折磨至死,直到最后,也只能把她那傲慢的眼光向他投射过去,在眼光中平静地、不屈地流露出对他的鄙视。这就是他从伊迪丝那里所能得到的承认!他不知道,当她被迫得到和他结婚的无上光荣时,她在感情上是经历了怎样的风暴与斗争。他不知道,当她容许他称她为妻子的时候,她认为她是作出了多大的让步啊。

  董贝先生准备向她表明,他是至高无上的。除了他的意志之外,不应当有别的意志。他愿意她是高傲的,但是她应当因为他而高傲,而不应当反对他而高傲。当他独自坐在那里,心情变得冷酷起来的时候,他时常听到她出去,回来,在伦敦社交界周旋,毫不关心他的喜爱或厌恶,高兴或不快;如果他是她的马夫的话,那么他也不会受到更多的注意。她的冷淡的、极度的漠不关心——他本人这一无可争辩的性格被她夺走了——比其他任何对待他的态度都更刺痛了他;他决心强迫她向他的崇高的、庄严的意志屈服。

  这些思想在他脑子里已经盘旋了好久,有一天夜间,当他听到她很晚回家以后,他就走到她的房间里去找她。她独自一人,穿着华丽的服装,刚刚从她母亲房间中回来。当他见到她的时候,她脸上的表情是忧郁的、沉思的;可是当他还在门口的时候,她就觉察到他了;因为当他向她面前的镜子看了一眼的时候,他立刻看到他十分熟悉的、那皱着的眉毛和那阴沉的、漂亮的脸孔,就像在一个画框里似的。

  “董贝夫人,”他走进去,说道,“请允许我跟您说几句话。”

  “明天吧,”她回答道。

  “没有比现在更合适的时间了,夫人,”他回答道,“您把您的地位摆错了。我一向是由我本人来选定时间,而不是让别人来给我选定时间的。我想,您还不了解我是谁,我是什么样的人,董贝夫人。”

  “我想,”她回答道,“我十分清楚地了解您。”

  她说这些话的时候,看着他,然后把洁白的、闪耀着金子和宝石的胳膊交叉在隆起的胸前,眼睛转向别处。

  如果她在冷静、沉着的态度中不是那么漂亮,不是那么庄严的话,那么她也许就没有力量使他感觉到他处于不利的地位了;这个感觉穿透了他极度高傲的盔甲。可是她有这个力量;他敏锐地感觉到这一点。他向房间四处看了一眼,看到华丽的装饰品和奢华的服装被零乱地散放在各处,丝毫也不被珍惜——这不只是由于任性和粗心(在他看来是这样的),而是由于对贵重物品坚决的、傲慢的蔑视。这时候他愈来愈感觉到她有力量使他处于不利的地位。花冠,羽毛饰物,宝石,花边,绸缎——不论他往哪里去看,他都看到珍贵的物品被轻蔑地、毫不在乎地乱扔。甚至那结婚的礼品——钻石,也在她胸前一起一落,仿佛渴望着挣断把它们紧扣起来的、环绕着她的脖子的链子,滚到地板上,她可以践踏它们。

  他感到他处境不利,也没有掩饰这一点。严肃而又生疏地处在这些鲜艳的色彩和妖娆的闪光中间,生疏而又拘束地面对着高傲的女主人(这些闪光把她那难以亲近的美貌不断重复地呈现在他的周围,就像是由镜子的许多碎片映照着似的),他感到局促不安,处境尴尬。有助于她保持蔑视一切、沉着冷静的态度的所有东西都使他烦恼。他烦恼地、生气地独自坐下来,情绪没有好转地往下说道:

  “董贝夫人,我们之间很有必要达成某些谅解。您的行为并不使我感到高兴。”

  她仅仅再看了他一眼,然后又转开了眼睛;可是如果她可以说上一个钟头的话,那么她也不会比这表示得更多了。

  “我再说一遍,董贝夫人,您的行为并不使我感到高兴。

  有一次我曾经请求您改正。我现在坚持这一点。”

  “您第一次选择了一个适当的场合来责备我,先生;现在您第二次又采取了一个适当的态度和一个适当的词来责备我。您坚持!对我!”

  “夫人,”董贝先生极不客气地说道,“我娶了您做我的妻子,您姓我的姓,您和我的地位和名声联系在一起。我不想说,世界上的人们普遍地认为,我们的结合使您得到光荣;但是我想说,我习惯于向我的家属和靠我赡养的人们‘坚持’我的要求。”

  “照您看,我是属于哪一类人呢?”她问道。

  “也许我可以认为,我的妻子应当同时属于——或者实际上就同时属于这两类人;这是她没有办法改变的,董贝夫人。”

  她把眼睛转到他身上,注视着他,紧闭着颤抖的嘴唇。他看到她的胸脯在跳动,看到她的脸色骤然发红,随后又变白。这一切他能够看到,也看到了;可是他无法知道,在她内心深处正低声响着四个字,使她保持冷静;这四个字就是弗洛伦斯。

  瞎了眼睛的白痴呀,正在向悬崖猛冲过去!他心里想,她在害怕他呢!

  “您太挥霍了,夫人,”董贝先生说道,“您奢侈无度。您浪费了大量的金钱——或者,说得更明白些,对大多数上层社会的先生们来说,这也是大量的金钱——,来进行一种对我毫无益处、甚至根本使我不愉快的社交活动。我不得不坚持,您在所有这些方面应当有个彻底的转变。我知道,你们夫人在获得了这些命运交由你们支配的一小部分财产之后,出于新奇的心情,总爱突然走向极端。这种极端已经超过足够的地步了。我希望,格兰杰夫人曾经有过的截然不同的经验,现在会对董贝夫人有益。”

  仍然是那凝神的注视,颤抖的嘴唇,跳动的胸脯,时而转红时而变白的脸孔;在她心房跳动的时候,仍然是那深沉的低声在对她呼唤:弗洛伦斯,弗洛伦斯。

  当他看到她发生了这些变化的时候,他自尊自大的傲慢增长了。她过去对他的轻蔑和他刚才处境不利的感觉,跟她现在的柔顺(他以为是这样),同样促进了他傲慢情绪的滋长;它已发展到他自己难以控制的地步,超越了一切限度。好啊,谁能够长久地抗拒他的崇高的意志与愿望呢!他已下定决心要战胜她。请往下看吧!

  “而且,夫人,”董贝先生用威严的命令语气说道,“还要请您清清楚楚地懂得:您应当尊敬我,服从我。在社会上的人们面前,您应当向我表示出绝对的、明显的尊敬,夫人。我习惯于这样。我有权利要求这样。总之,我愿意这样。我认为这是您对您现在享有的崇高的社会地位理所应当地作出的报答。我相信,不论是在我要求下您向我表示尊敬或是您自己有意向我表示尊敬,谁都不会感到惊奇。——对我表示尊敬!——对我表示尊敬!”他着重地补充了最后这两句话。

  她一言不发。她没有任何变化。她的眼光注视着他。

  “我从您母亲那里知道,董贝夫人,”董贝先生摆出长官一般自尊自大的神气,说道,“您毫无疑问已经知道了,有人建议她到布赖顿去疗养。卡克先生真好,他已经——”

  她立刻发生了变化。她的脸孔和前胸发红了,仿佛那怒气冲冲的夕阳的红光已照到她身上似的。董贝先生不是没有注意到这个变化,他按他自己的看法作了解释,同时继续说下去:

  “卡克先生真好,他已经到那里找到了一座房子,可以暂时居住。在你们返回伦敦的时候,我将采取一些我认为必要的、改善管理的措施。其中的一个措施就是在布赖顿雇用一位皮普钦太太,让她来当女管家(如果这件事办成功的话);她是一位很值得尊敬的、家道破落的人;以前我曾雇佣她在我家中服务,得到我的信赖。一个像这样仅仅在名义上由董贝夫人主持的家庭,是需要有一位有能力的人来管理的。”

  在他说出这些话之前,她已经改变了姿态;现在她坐在那里,依旧目不转睛地注视着他,同时把手镯在手臂上一圈一圈地转动着:并不是用女人轻轻的推碰来转动它,而是拽着它擦过光滑的皮肤,直到雪白的手臂上现出了一道红痕。

  “我注意到,”董贝先生说道,“这也是我认为今天必须最后对您说的,董贝夫人,——片刻钟以前,我注意到,夫人,您听我提到卡克先生的时候,神态有些异常。那一天,我当着这位我所极为信任的经理的面,向您指出,我不满意您接待我的客人的态度;当时您反对有他在场。今后您应当撤消这种反对,夫人,应当使您习惯于今后很可能发生的许多类似的场合,除非您采取补救措施(这掌握在您手中),今后不会再引起我不满。卡克先生,”董贝先生说道,他看到他刚才提到卡克先生时在她身上引起的变化情绪之后,十分重视用这个办法来征服他的高傲的妻子;他也许十分愿意从一个新的、他感到得意的方面来向那位先生显示他的权力:“卡克先生是我极为信任的人,董贝夫人;他也很可能得到您同样程度的信任。”他过了一会儿(在这中间,他在愈益增长的傲慢情绪中,进一步肯定了他的想法),继续说道,“我希望,董贝夫人,我可能永远也不会认为有必要委托卡克先生向您转告我的任何批评或规劝,可是因为和一位我给予了我所能给予的最高荣誉的夫人为了一些鸡毛蒜皮的小事经常发生争吵,将有损于我的地位和名誉,所以在我认为有必要时,我将毫不迟疑地利用他的服务。”

  “现在,”他想道,同时怀着道义上的尊严感站了起来,这时候他是一位比过去任何时候都更执拗、更听不进意见的人了,“她知道我和我的决心了。”

  那只用力压着手镯的手,现在沉重地落在她的胸上,但是她仍用她那没有任何变化的脸色,平静地看着他,并用低沉的说道:

  “等一等!看在上帝的分上!我必须跟您谈谈。”

  为什么她在这之前没有对他说上几分钟呢?她内心发生了什么斗争,使她不能这样做呢?为什么在这之前,在她自己有力的约束下,她的脸像一尊塑像一样一动不动,既不是顺从也不是反抗,既不是喜爱也不是愤恨,既不是高傲也不是谦卑地看着他;除了锐利的注视之外,没有任何其他表情呢?

  “难道我过去什么时候引诱过您向我求婚吗?难道我过去什么时候曾使用过诡计来赢得您吗?难道过去您追求我的时候,我曾经比我们婚后更迎合您了吗?难道我过去对您和现在有什么两样吗?”

  “夫人,”董贝先生说道,“完全没有必要进行这种讨论。”

  “难道您过去以为我爱您吗?您过去是否知道我不爱您?老兄,难道您曾关心过我的心,您曾打算赢得这毫无价值的东西吗?难道在我们的交易中有过任何这种可怜的借口吗?是在您那一边有过还是在我这一边有过?”

  “这些问题,”董贝先生说道,“跟我的用意离得太远了,夫人。”

  她走到他与门的中间,使他走不出去,又把她那威严的身子挺得笔直,依旧目不转睛地注视着他。

  “请您回答每一个问题。我看得出,在我提出这些问题之前,您已经回答了。您怎么能不这样做呢?您对这不幸的真情了解得跟我一样清楚。现在,请告诉我,如果我过去热诚地爱过您,那么,我除了像您刚才所要求的那样,把我的全部意志和我整个人都奉献给您之外,我还能再做些什么呢?如果我过去的心是纯洁的、一尘不染的,您是它崇拜的偶像,那么您还能比刚才要求更多的东西吗,还能得到更多的东西吗?”

  “也许不能,夫人,”他冷淡地回答道。

  “您知道我完全不是那样。您现在看到我看着您,您可以从我脸上的表情判断出我对您感情的热度。”在她说这些话的时候,高傲的嘴唇没有一点颤动,乌黑的眼睛没有闪过一点亮光,眼光仍然像刚才一样专注。“您知道我的历史的大概情况。您说到了我的母亲。难道您以为您能贬低我,压服我,毁损我,强迫我屈服与顺从吗?”

  董贝先生就像有人问他能不能筹集一万英镑时他会微笑的那样,微笑了一下。

  “如果这里有什么不寻常的东西,”她轻轻地把手在眼前挥了挥,继续说道;她的眼睛仍然一动不动、毫无表情地注视着,没有片刻畏缩过,“正像我知道的那样,这里有些不寻常的感情,”她把压在胸前的手举起来,又沉重地落回到胸前,“那么就请体谅:在我将要向您提出的请求中有某些不寻常的意义。是的,”她说道,好像是在迅速回答他脸上出现的某些表情,“我将要向您提出请求。”

  董贝先生带着几分宽厚的表情把下巴低下一点,他的硬挺的领带因此就发出沙沙的、劈劈拍拍的声响;在这同时,他在近旁的沙发上坐下,听她提出的请求。

  “我是这样一种性格的人,”他觉得他看到在她眼中闪耀着泪水;虽然没有一滴流下到脸颊上,她仍像刚才一样一动不动地注视着他,可是他却得意地想到,这泪水是他使她涌出来的,“这一点连我自己也难以相信,我对成为我丈夫的任何人(特别是对您)说了的话,我是决心照办的;如果您现在能相信这一点,那么您也许会对我说的话重视一些。我们正在走向一个可能来临的结局,它不仅将影响到我们自己(这一点倒并不重要),而且还将影响到其他人。”

  其他人!他知道这是指谁,于是深深地皱着眉头。

  “我是为了其他人的缘故,也是为了您本人和我自己的缘故,对您说话的。我们结婚以来,您傲慢地对待我,我也以同样的态度回敬了您。您每天每个小时问我,并向我们周围的每一个人显示:您认为您跟我结婚使我得到了荣誉,提高了地位。我并不认为是这样,而且也把这一点显示了出来。您似乎并不了解或作出这样的打算(因为这是属于您的权力范围以内的事):我们每个人应当各走各的路;相反的,您希望我对您俯首听命,而这是您永远也得不到的。”

  虽然她脸上的表情丝毫没有变化,可是当她换气的时候,这“永远”两个字是加强了语气、有力地说出来的。

  “我对您没有任何亲切的感情;这您是知道的。如果我曾经怀有或者能够怀有这样的感情的话,那么您也根本不会放在心上。我同样清楚地知道,您对我也没有任何这种亲切的感情。可是我们结合在一起了,而且我已经说过,把我们联系在一起的纽结,把其他人也拴进来了。我们两人迟早都将死去;我们两人都早已跟死去的人联系着,每个人都失去了一个小男孩。让我们相互宽容吧。”

  董贝先生深深地吸了一口气,仿佛要想说:“唔!这就是所有您要说的话吗?”

  “世界上任何财富,”她继续说道;当她望着他的时候,她的脸色比先前更苍白一些,但由于她说得十分恳切,她的眼睛却比先前更有光泽,“也不能把我的这些话和其中的含意收买走。如果一旦把它们当作无聊的闲话丢弃不理的话,那么任何财富或权力也不能把它们取回来。我是正正经经说这些话,不是开玩笑;每一句话我都斟酌过;我答应要做的事,我将认真执行。如果您答应您在您那一方面容忍的话,那么我就答应我在我这一方面容忍。我们是最不幸福的一对;在我们这里,由于各种不同的原因,一切为婚姻赞美或辩护的感情都已根本不存在了。可是,随着时间的推移,我们相互间可能会产生一些友谊或能够相互适应;如果您也同样作出努力的话,那么我将设法努力,希望能达到这个目的;我期望我今后的岁月将比我青年或壮年时代过得美好一些和幸福一些。”

  她自始至终是用低沉的、平静的声调说的,既没有升高,也没有降低;她曾经把手按在胸前,以便竭力保持冷静,把话说清楚;在停止说话的时候她把手放下,可是她那一直在注视着他的眼睛却并没有低垂下来。

  “夫人,”董贝先生露出极为尊严的神情,说道,“我不能接受这异乎寻常的建议。”

  她依旧看着他,表情没有任何变化。

  “我的意见和愿望您已经知道了,”董贝先生站起来,说道,“我不能在这个问题上跟您妥协或谈判,董贝夫人。我已向您陈述了我的最后要求,夫人;我只请求您十分认真地注意它。”

  他看到,她的脸上恢复了过去的、但更为强烈的表情!他看到,她的眼睛低垂下去,像是要避开什么卑劣的、讨厌的东西似的!他看到,那高傲的前额又闪耀着亮光!他看到,轻蔑,气恼,愤慨和憎恶的表情又呈现在眼前;那苍白的、平静的、恳切的表情已像雾一般地消散了!他不能做别的,只能看着这一切,虽然是惊愕地看着。

  “走,先生!”她不容违抗地用手指着门,说道,“我们第一次,也是最后一次开诚布公的谈话到此结束了。从今以后,没有什么能使我们比现在更互不相干的了。”

  “您可以相信,”董贝先生说道,“我将按照我的正确方针行事,不论什么慷慨激昂的演说也不能阻止它。”

  她转过身子,背对着他,没有答话,坐在镜子前面。

  “夫人,我把希望寄托在您能更清楚地认识您的责任,能更正确地掌握您的感情,能更慎重地进行思考,”董贝先生说道。

  她一句话也不回答。他从镜子中她脸上的表情中看到,她丝毫也不注意他,就好像他是没有被她看到的墙上的一只蜘蛛或地板上的一只甲虫,或者说得更正确一些,就好像他是当她刚才转过身子的时候,被她踩死的一只蜘蛛或甲虫,然后被她当作地面上的一个讨厌的死了的害虫给忘记了。

  当他往外走到门口的时候,他回过头来,看到灯光明亮的、豪华的房间,处处陈列着的闪闪发亮的物品,穿着华丽服装、坐在镜子前面的伊迪丝的身形,以及伊迪丝的映照在镜子中的脸孔。然后,他走到那间他一直来在里面沉思的老房间里,心中带走了所有这些事物的鲜明的图景,同时产生了一种随意的、莫名其妙的想法(就像有时会在人们头脑中产生的那样):当他下一次看到它们的时候,它们将会是什么样子?

  至于说到其他情况,那么可以说,董贝先生十分沉默寡言,十分威严,十分自信他能达到他的目的;他一直保持着这种神态。

  他不打算陪伴他的家属到布赖顿去。但一、两天以后,在她们就要离别的那一天早上吃早饭的时候,他很有礼貌地告诉克利奥佩特拉,他准备不久就到那里去。把克利奥佩特拉送到有益于健康的地方去,已不能再拖延下去了,因为她确实是日益衰弱,眼看就要化为尘土了。

  这位老太婆虽然没有受到疾病第二次致命的打击,但从第一次打击恢复过来的时候,她似乎是慢吞吞地朝着倒退的方向走着。她更消瘦了,皱纹更多了,她的愚钝更难以捉摸了,她的智力和记忆表现出更加奇怪的混乱。最后这个苦恼有好些症状,其中一个症状是,她逐渐养成一个习惯:把她两个女婿(一个活着的和一个死去的)的姓混淆起来,通常把董贝先生不是叫做“格兰贝”就是叫做“董杰”,或者一会儿这样、一会儿那样地混着叫。

  但是她的衣着打扮却仍然是年轻的、十分年轻的。在动身的那一天吃早饭的时候,她就这样打扮得年纪轻轻的,头上戴了一顶特别订做的新帽,身上穿着一件刺锈的、镶上穗带的旅行长袍,就像是一个老婴孩一般。如今要给她戴上这顶过于宽大的帽子是不容易的;戴上以后,要让它在她那可怜的、颤颤巍巍的头的后脑壳上保持一个合适的位置也是不容易的。现在,帽子不仅由于老歪向一边,产生出一种奇异的外观,而且在吃早饭的整个过程中,侍女弗劳尔斯还必须在背后不断轻轻地拍着这顶王冠才行。

  “那么,我最亲爱的格兰贝,”斯丘顿夫人说道,“您一定得毫(不含)糊地答(应)我,”她把有些词中的字缩减了,有些词则整个丢掉了:“很快就来(看我)。”

  “我刚才说过,夫人,”董贝先生大声地、吃力地回答道,“我一两天就来。”

  “(上帝)保佑您,董杰!”

  这时前来向两位夫人送行的少校,用永生不死的人物那种置身事外的镇静态度,通过他那易患中风病的眼睛,凝视着斯丘顿夫人的脸孔,说道:

  “啊,我的天,您没有请老乔来哪!”

  “(讨)厌的混蛋,他是谁?”克利奥佩特拉口齿不清地说道。可是这时弗劳尔斯把帽子轻轻地拍了一下,似乎唤起了她的记忆,她就继续说道,“噢!你是说你自己哪,你这个淘气鬼!”

  “非常怪,先生,”少校向董贝先生低声说道,“情况不妙。她从来不把衣服穿严实;”少校自己的衣服一直扣到下巴为止。“夫人,乔·白说到乔的时候,还会指谁呢,还不就是指老乔·白格斯托克——约瑟夫——您的奴隶——乔吗?这里!这个人就在这里!这里就是白格斯托克的肺,夫人!”少校喊道,一边把胸脯响亮地敲打了一下。

  “我最亲爱的伊迪丝——格兰贝——非(常)奇怪,”克利奥佩特拉不高兴地说道,“少校——”

  “白格斯托克!乔·白!”少校看到她记不起他的名字,正在结巴,就大声喊道。

  “唔,这不要紧,”克利奥佩特拉说道。“伊迪丝,我亲爱的,你知道,我从来记不住姓名,——我刚才说什么来着?哦,对了!——非(常)奇怪,这么多人都想来看我。我又不是长期出门。我就要回来的。他们确实可以等待我回来!”

  克利奥佩特拉说话的时候,向桌子周围的人们看了一遍,显得很不安。

  “我不想有人来看我——确实不想有人来看我,”她说道,“稍稍休息一下——以及这一类事——才是我所需要的。在我没有摆脱这麻痹症之前,讨厌的畜牲们都别来挨(近)我。”然后,她可怕地恢复了她卖弄风情的习癖,想用扇子打一下少校,但却把董贝先生的杯子打翻了,这只杯子是放在完全相反的一边的。

  然后她喊威瑟斯来,嘱咐他特别注意,她的房间要作一些无关紧要的改变,这件事必须在她回来之前办好,而且必须立即动手去做,因为很难说她多快就会回来,这是由于她有很多约会,还要去拜访各种人物。威瑟斯以应有的尊敬的态度听取了这些指示,并保证执行;但是当他从她身后退回一两步的时候,他仿佛不禁奇怪地看看少校,少校不禁奇怪地看看董贝先生,董贝先生不禁奇怪地看看克利奥佩特拉,克利奥佩特拉不禁点了一下头,结果帽子就滑下去把一只眼睛遮住了,她在使用刀和叉的时候还不禁把它们在盘子里打得卡嗒卡嗒地响,仿佛在玩响板①似的。

  --------

  ①响板:是一种用硬木或象牙制成的乐器,形状像小食匙或介壳,跳舞时套在大指和中指上,合击时发出。

  只有伊迪丝一个人一次也没有抬起眼睛来看桌旁的任何人,似乎也从来没有因为她母亲所说或所做的任何一件事感到惊愕。她听着她的没有条理的话,或者至少是当她母亲对她讲话的时候,她把头转向母亲那一边,必要时她轻声地回答一两个字;有时当她母亲讲得前言不搭后语的时候,她制止了她,或者用一个单音节把她的思想带回到离题的地方。这位母亲不管在别的方面多么变化无常,但她一直在观察着她的女儿,这一点却始终如一。她看着那张美丽的、像大理石一般平静和严肃的脸孔,有时露出畏惧而又赞赏的表情去看,有时吃吃地痴笑,荒谬地想在那张脸上引出微笑来;有时任性地流出眼泪,妒嫉地摇摇头,仿佛觉得那张脸没有理睬她似的;可是她一直感觉到伊迪丝有一股力量把她吸引住,这种感觉不像她的其他感觉,从来没有起伏变动过,而是一直支配着她。有时她把眼光从伊迪丝那里转向弗洛伦斯,然后又十分古怪地转回到伊迪丝;有时她设法看看别的地方,仿佛要避开女儿的脸似的;可是她似乎被迫地又把眼光转回到伊迪丝的脸上,虽然在她没有用眼光去寻找伊迪丝的时候,伊迪丝的脸从来也不会去寻找她,或投射出一道眼光来打扰她。

  早饭结束之后,斯丘顿夫人装出要像少女般撒娇地支靠在少校的胳膊上,但实际上却由侍女弗劳尔斯在另一边费劲地搀扶着,童仆威瑟斯在后面支撑着,就这样把她护送到马车上;这辆四轮马车将把她、弗洛伦斯和伊迪丝拉到布赖顿去。

  “难道约瑟夫完全被放逐了吗?”少校把青紫色的脸探进车门,问道,“他妈的,夫人,难道克利奥佩特拉这么狠心,竟不容许她忠实的安东尼·白格斯托克再来谒见她了吗?”

  “滚开!”克利奥佩特拉说道,“我不能容忍你!如果你很好,那么等我回来的时候再来看我。”

  “请告诉约瑟夫,他可以怀着希望活下去,夫人,”少校说道,“否则他将会悲观绝望而死去的。”

  克利奥佩特拉打了个寒颤,往后仰靠。“伊迪丝,我亲爱的,”她说道,“请告诉他——”

  “告诉什么?”

  “这样可怕的字眼!”克利奥佩特拉说道,“他使用了这样可怕的字眼!”

  伊迪丝向他做了个手势,让他走开,嘱咐马车出发,把讨厌的少校留给董贝先生。少校吹着口哨回到董贝先生身边。

  “我告诉您,先生,”少校两手抄在背后,两腿叉得很开,说道,“我们的一位美丽的朋友已经陷于困境了。”

  “您是什么意思,少校?”董贝先生问道。

  “我的意思是说,董贝,”少校回答道,“您不久就将成为一位孤女婿了。”

  董贝先生似乎很不喜欢对他本人采用这个谐谑的称呼,所以少校就发出了马般的咳嗽,作为庄重的表示,来结束他的话。

  “他妈的,先生,”少校说道,“掩饰事实是没有用的。乔是个直肠直肚的人,先生。这是他的性格。如果您接受乔希跟您相处,那么他是个什么人,您就跟他怎么相处。您会发现,乔·白是一把非常生锈的、锉齿密密的老锉。董贝,”少校说,“您的岳母准备上路了,先生。”

  “我担心,”董贝先生以哲学家泰然自若的态度回答道,“斯丘顿夫人很虚弱。”

  “虚弱,董贝,”少校说道,“她已经垮掉了!”

  “不过,换换环境,”董贝先生继续说道,“再加上细心的护理,可能还是很有益的。”

  “别相信这,先生,”少校回答道,“他妈的,先生,她从来也不把衣服穿严实。如果一个人不多穿些衣服,”少校把他浅黄色的背心又扣上一个扣子,说道,“他就没有什么可以依靠了。不过有些人愿意死。他们想死。他妈的,他们愿意,他们很顽固。这就是我要对您说的,董贝,这也许不能增添光彩,这也许不优雅精致,可是如果在人们的身上注入一点真正的、老的、英国的白格斯托克的鲜血,先生,那么这对改善世界上的人种是会大有好处的。”

  少校提到的“真正的、老的、英国的”一类人,从来没有被下过确切的定义;他把自己列入这一类人当中,不论其他天赋的资质他是具备还是缺乏,但他的脸色倒是真正发青的。他通知了这个宝贵的信息之后,就带着他的龙虾眼和易患中风的脸,走进俱乐部,在那里整天呼哧呼哧地喘着气。

  克利奥佩特拉有时焦躁不安,有时扬扬自得,有时醒着,有时睡去,但一直都是显得很年轻;她在当天夜间到达布赖顿,像往常一样被分拆得支离破碎,并被安置到床上睡觉。玫瑰色的帐子已被带到这里来,把它的红色的光照射到克利奥佩特拉的身上;忧郁的想象也许可以描绘出一个比侍女更加凶恶可怕的骷髅——他应当是个真正的骷髅,正守护在帐子旁边。

  医学家们的高级会议上决定:她必须每天乘马车出去兜风;如果体力许可的话,她必须每天从马车里出来散散步,这一点是重要的。伊迪丝准备好去照料她——经常准备好去照料她;她的照料像以前一样勉强应付,她的美貌像以前一样沉着冷静。就只她们两人出去,因为母亲身体变坏了,有弗洛伦斯在场,伊迪丝觉得不自在;她吻了弗洛伦斯一下,对她说,她愿意一个人和她的母亲出去。

  有一天,斯丘顿夫人处于犹豫不决、难以取悦和喜爱妒嫉的情绪中,这种情绪是她从第一次打击中恢复过来以后逐步发展起来的。她默默地坐在马车中,向伊迪丝注视了一些时候以后,把她的手拉过来,热烈地亲吻着。女儿没有把手递给她,也没有把手抽回来,只是单纯地顺从她,把手举起,放开,然后又掉下,它几乎仿佛是没有知觉似的。这时她开始啜泣,悲叹,并说她一直来是一位多么好的母亲,现在又是怎样被遗忘了!他们下了车以后,她在威瑟斯和手杖的共同支持下,一拐一拐地走着;伊迪丝在她身旁走着;马车在他们身后稍稍隔开一段距离、慢慢地跟随着;甚至在这时候她还继续不时任性地泣诉着。

  这是个寒冷的、阴霾的、刮风的日子,他们来到英国东南部的丘陵草原。在他们和天空之间是一片荒瘠的旷野。母亲从单调的抱怨中得到一种发发牢骚的满足,仍旧不时低声地重复唠叨着;女儿高傲的身形在她身旁慢慢地移行;这时在她们前面黑色的山脊上,出现另外两个人影儿,正在向她们走来;从远处看去,她们是这么像她们自己身形的夸张的重复,因此伊迪丝不由得停下了脚步。

  几乎就在她停住的时候,那两个人影儿也停住了;伊迪丝认为是她母亲的歪曲的影子的那一位用手指着她们,认真地跟另一位说着。那一位似乎想转回去,可是另一位却往前走(这另一位伊迪丝认为很像她自己,因此她产生了一种近乎恐惧的不寻常的感觉),于是她们两人就一起继续走过来。

  伊迪丝的这些观察,大部分是在她向她们走过去的时候进行的,因为她刚才只停下来片刻的工夫。她走近以后,看到她们衣着可怜,是乡间的流浪者。年轻的女人拿着编织品以及其他这一类准备出卖的物品;那位年老的女人空着手,辛苦地步行着。

  可是,不论在衣服、举止和美貌方面的差别有多大,伊迪丝还是不由得不把这位年轻的女人跟她自己比较。可能她在她的脸上看到了一些她知道潜藏在她自己心灵中、但却还没有表露出来的痕迹;这位女人继续走过来,回答了她的眼光,亮晶晶的眼睛注视着她,同时无疑呈现出某些她自己的神态与风度,并似乎正在想着她同样想着的内容;可是这时候伊迪丝却感觉到浑身发冷,仿佛白天昏暗起来了,风也更冷了。

  现在她们走到跟前来了。那位老太婆停下脚步,伸出手,纠缠不休地向斯丘顿夫人乞讨。年轻的女人也停下脚步,她和伊迪丝互相看着眼睛。

  “您还有什么要卖的?”伊迪丝问道。

  “只有这个,”那位女人举出货物,但却没有看它们,说道,“我在好久以前就把自己卖掉了。”

  “夫人,别相信她,”老太婆向斯丘顿夫人哭丧着说道,“别相信她说的话。她喜欢那样说话。她是我的漂亮的、不孝顺的女儿。夫人,我为她做了各种事情,可是她却只知道责怪我。您看,夫人,她现在是怎样看她的老妈妈的。”

  斯丘顿夫人用颤抖的手掏出钱袋,热心地在摸钱;那位老太婆贪婪地注视着它——她们由于性急和衰老,头几乎碰着了——;这时候,伊迪丝插嘴道:

  “我以前见到过您,”她对老太婆说道。

  “不错,夫人,”她行了个屈膝礼。“在沃里克郡,早上,在树林子里。那时候,您什么也不想给我,可是那位先生,他给了我一点钱!啊,上帝保佑他,保佑他!”老婆子嘟嘟囔囔地说道,一边举起皮包骨头的手,对她女儿可怕地咧着嘴笑道。

  “别想来阻止我,伊迪丝!”斯丘顿夫人看到她要提出异议,生气地说道,“你什么也不明白。我不会改变我的主意。

  我相信这是一位极好的女人,是一位好妈妈。”

  “不错,夫人,不错,”老太婆伸出贪婪的手,喋喋不休地说道,“谢谢您,夫人。上帝保佑您,夫人。再给我六便士吧,漂亮的夫人,您自己也是一位好妈妈呀。”

  “而且,有时也受到很不孝顺的对待呢,我的好老婆子,我告诉您。”斯丘顿夫人抽泣着,说道,“好!我们握握手吧。您是个很好的老婆子,充满了——呀,该叫什么来着——以及所有这一类东西。您非常慈爱,等等,是不是?”

  “啊,是的,夫人!”

  “是的,我相信您一定是。那位气派高贵的人格兰贝也是这样。我应当跟您再握一次手。现在您知道,您可以走了;我希望,”她对那位女儿说道,“您将对您妈妈表示出更大的感激,表示出出自天性的——呀,该叫什么——以及其他的一切——我从来记不住这些名称——,因为您找不到比这好老婆子更好的妈妈了。走吧,伊迪丝!”

  形容枯槁的克利奥佩特拉蹒跚地走开了;她哭泣着,同时又小心翼翼地擦着眼泪,唯恐擦掉了眼旁的胭脂。在这同时,那位老太婆瘸着腿从另一条道路走了,一边嘟囔着和数着钱。伊迪丝和那位年轻的女人没有再交谈过一句话,相互也没有打过一次手势,可是她们两人片刻也没有从对方脸上移开过眼光。她们这样面对面地站着,直到后来伊迪丝才仿佛从梦中醒过来似的,慢吞吞地往前走过去。

  “您是一位俊俏的女人,”她的影子目送着她,喃喃自语道,“可是好看的外貌救不了我们。您又是一位高傲的女人,可是高傲也救不了我们。当我们再见的时候,我们应当相互了解了解才好!”


慕若涵

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爱就像蓝天白云,晴空万里,突然暴风雨!
举报 只看该作者 41楼  发表于: 2013-11-13 0

Chapter 41
New Voices in the Waves

All is going on as it was wont. The waves are hoarse with repetition of their mystery; the dust lies piled upon the shore; the sea-birds soar and hover; the winds and clouds go forth upon their trackless flight; the white arms beckon, in the moonlight, to the invisible country far away.
With a tender melancholy pleasure, Florence finds herself again on the old ground so sadly trodden, yet so happily, and thinks of him in the quiet place, where he and she have many and many a time conversed together, with the water welling up about his couch. And now, as she sits pensive there, she hears in the wild low murmur of the sea, his little story told again, his very words repeated; and finds that all her life and hopes, and griefs, since - in the solitary house, and in the pageant it has changed to - have a portion in the burden of the marvellous song.
And gentle Mr Toots, who wanders at a distance, looking wistfully towards the figure that he dotes upon, and has followed there, but cannot in his delicacy disturb at such a time, likewise hears the requiem of little Dombey on the waters, rising and falling in the lulls of their eternal madrigal in praise of Florence. Yes! and he faintly understands, poor Mr Toots, that they are saying something of a time when he was sensible of being brighter and not addle-brained; and the tears rising in his eyes when he fears that he is dull and stupid now, and good for little but to be laughed at, diminish his satisfaction in their soothing reminder that he is relieved from present responsibility to the Chicken, by the absence of that game head of poultry in the country, training (at Toots's cost) for his great mill with the Larkey Boy.
But Mr Toots takes courage, when they whisper a kind thought to him; and by slow degrees and with many indecisive stoppages on the way, approaches Florence. Stammering and blushing, Mr Toots affects amazement when he comes near her, and says (having followed close on the carriage in which she travelled, every inch of the way from London, loving even to be choked by the dust of its wheels) that he never was so surprised in all his life.
'And you've brought Diogenes, too, Miss Dombey!' says Mr Toots, thrilled through and through by the touch of the small hand so pleasantly and frankly given him.
No doubt Diogenes is there, and no doubt Mr Toots has reason to observe him, for he comes straightway at Mr Toots's legs, and tumbles over himself in the desperation with which he makes at him, like a very dog of Montargis. But he is checked by his sweet mistress.
'Down, Di, down. Don't you remember who first made us friends, Di? For shame!'
Oh! Well may Di lay his loving cheek against her hand, and run off, and run back, and run round her, barking, and run headlong at anybody coming by, to show his devotion. Mr Toots would run headlong at anybody, too. A military gentleman goes past, and Mr Toots would like nothing better than to run at him, full tilt.
'Diogenes is quite in his native air, isn't he, Miss Dombey?' says Mr Toots.
Florence assents, with a grateful smile.
'Miss Dombey,' says Mr Toots, 'beg your pardon, but if you would like to walk to Blimber's, I - I'm going there.'
Florence puts her arm in that of Mr Toots without a word, and they walk away together, with Diogenes going on before. Mr Toots's legs shake under him; and though he is splendidly dressed, he feels misfits, and sees wrinkles, in the masterpieces of Burgess and Co., and wishes he had put on that brightest pair of boots.
Doctor Blimber's house, outside, has as scholastic and studious an air as ever; and up there is the window where she used to look for the pale face, and where the pale face brightened when it saw her, and the wasted little hand waved kisses as she passed. The door is opened by the same weak-eyed young man, whose imbecility of grin at sight of Mr Toots is feebleness of character personified. They are shown into the Doctor's study, where blind Homer and Minerva give them audience as of yore, to the sober ticking of the great clock in the hall; and where the globes stand still in their accustomed places, as if the world were stationary too, and nothing in it ever perished in obedience to the universal law, that, while it keeps it on the roll, calls everything to earth.
And here is Doctor Blimber, with his learned legs; and here is Mrs Blimber, with her sky-blue cap; and here Cornelia, with her sandy little row of curls, and her bright spectacles, still working like a sexton in the graves of languages. Here is the table upon which he sat forlorn and strange, the 'new boy' of the school; and hither comes the distant cooing of the old boys, at their old lives in the old room on the old principle!
'Toots,' says Doctor Blimber, 'I am very glad to see you, Toots.'
Mr Toots chuckles in reply.
'Also to see you, Toots, in such good company,' says Doctor Blimber.
Mr Toots, with a scarlet visage, explains that he has met Miss Dombey by accident, and that Miss Dombey wishing, like himself, to see the old place, they have come together.
'You will like,' says Doctor Blimber, 'to step among our young friends, Miss Dombey, no doubt. All fellow-students of yours, Toots, once. I think we have no new disciples in our little portico, my dear,' says Doctor Blimber to Cornelia, 'since Mr Toots left us.'
'Except Bitherstone,' returns Cornelia.
'Ay, truly,' says the Doctor. 'Bitherstone is new to Mr Toots.'
New to Florence, too, almost; for, in the schoolroom, Bitherstone - no longer Master Bitherstone of Mrs Pipchin's - shows in collars and a neckcloth, and wears a watch. But Bitherstone, born beneath some Bengal star of ill-omen, is extremely inky; and his Lexicon has got so dropsical from constant reference, that it won't shut, and yawns as if it really could not bear to be so bothered. So does Bitherstone its master, forced at Doctor Blimber's highest pressure; but in the yawn of Bitherstone there is malice and snarl, and he has been heard to say that he wishes he could catch 'old Blimber' in India. He'd precious soon find himself carried up the country by a few of his (Bitherstone's) Coolies, and handed over to the Thugs; he can tell him that.
Briggs is still grinding in the mill of knowledge; and Tozer, too; and Johnson, too; and all the rest; the older pupils being principally engaged in forgetting, with prodigious labour, everything they knew when they were younger. All are as polite and as pale as ever; and among them, Mr Feeder, B.A., with his bony hand and bristly head, is still hard at it; with his Herodotus stop on just at present, and his other barrels on a shelf behind him.
A mighty sensation is created, even among these grave young gentlemen, by a visit from the emancipated Toots; who is regarded with a kind of awe, as one who has passed the Rubicon, and is pledged never to come back, and concerning the cut of whose clothes, and fashion of whose jewellery, whispers go about, behind hands; the bilious Bitherstone, who is not of Mr Toots's time, affecting to despise the latter to the smaller boys, and saying he knows better, and that he should like to see him coming that sort of thing in Bengal, where his mother had got an emerald belonging to him that was taken out of the footstool of a Rajah. Come now!
Bewildering emotions are awakened also by the sight of Florence, with whom every young gentleman immediately falls in love, again; except, as aforesaid, the bilious Bitherstone, who declines to do so, out of contradiction. Black jealousies of Mr Toots arise, and Briggs is of opinion that he ain't so very old after all. But this disparaging insinuation is speedily made nought by Mr Toots saying aloud to Mr Feeder, B.A., 'How are you, Feeder?' and asking him to come and dine with him to-day at the Bedford; in right of which feats he might set up as Old Parr, if he chose, unquestioned.
There is much shaking of hands, and much bowing, and a great desire on the part of each young gentleman to take Toots down in Miss Dombey's good graces; and then, Mr Toots having bestowed a chuckle on his old desk, Florence and he withdraw with Mrs Blimber and Cornelia; and Doctor Blimber is heard to observe behind them as he comes out last, and shuts the door, 'Gentlemen, we will now resume our studies,' For that and little else is what the Doctor hears the sea say, or has heard it saying all his life.
Florence then steals away and goes upstairs to the old bedroom with Mrs Blimber and Cornelia; Mr Toots, who feels that neither he nor anybody else is wanted there, stands talking to the Doctor at the study-door, or rather hearing the Doctor talk to him, and wondering how he ever thought the study a great sanctuary, and the Doctor, with his round turned legs, like a clerical pianoforte, an awful man. Florence soon comes down and takes leave; Mr Toots takes leave; and Diogenes, who has been worrying the weak-eyed young man pitilessly all the time, shoots out at the door, and barks a glad defiance down the cliff; while Melia, and another of the Doctor's female domestics, looks out of an upper window, laughing 'at that there Toots,' and saying of Miss Dombey, 'But really though, now - ain't she like her brother, only prettier?'
Mr Toots, who saw when Florence came down that there were tears upon her face, is desperately anxious and uneasy, and at first fears that he did wrong in proposing the visit. But he is soon relieved by her saying she is very glad to have been there again, and by her talking quite cheerfully about it all, as they walked on by the sea. What with the voices there, and her sweet voice, when they come near Mr Dombey's house, and Mr Toots must leave her, he is so enslaved that he has not a scrap of free-will left; when she gives him her hand at parting, he cannot let it go.
'Miss Dombey, I beg your pardon,' says Mr Toots, in a sad fluster, 'but if you would allow me to - to -
The smiling and unconscious look of Florence brings him to a dead stop.
'If you would allow me to - if you would not consider it a liberty, Miss Dombey, if I was to - without any encouragement at all, if I was to hope, you know,' says Mr Toots.
Florence looks at him inquiringly.
'Miss Dombey,' says Mr Toots, who feels that he is in for it now, 'I really am in that state of adoration of you that I don't know what to do with myself. I am the most deplorable wretch. If it wasn't at the corner of the Square at present, I should go down on my knees, and beg and entreat of you, without any encouragement at all, just to let me hope that I may - may think it possible that you -
'Oh, if you please, don't!' cries Florence, for the moment quite alarmed and distressed. 'Oh, pray don't, Mr Toots. Stop, if you please. Don't say any more. As a kindness and a favour to me, don't.'
Mr Toots is dreadfully abashed, and his mouth opens.
'You have been so good to me,' says Florence, 'I am so grateful to you, I have such reason to like you for being a kind friend to me, and I do like you so much;' and here the ingenuous face smiles upon him with the pleasantest look of honesty in the world; 'that I am sure you are only going to say good-bye!'
'Certainly, Miss Dombey,' says Mr Toots, 'I - I - that's exactly what I mean. It's of no consequence.'
'Good-bye!' cries Florence.
'Good-bye, Miss Dombey!' stammers Mr Toots. 'I hope you won't think anything about it. It's - it's of no consequence, thank you. It's not of the least consequence in the world.'
Poor Mr Toots goes home to his hotel in a state of desperation, locks himself into his bedroom, flings himself upon his bed, and lies there for a long time; as if it were of the greatest consequence, nevertheless. But Mr Feeder, B.A., is coming to dinner, which happens well for Mr Toots, or there is no knowing when he might get up again. Mr Toots is obliged to get up to receive him, and to give him hospitable entertainment.
And the generous influence of that social virtue, hospitality (to make no mention of wine and good cheer), opens Mr Toots's heart, and warms him to conversation. He does not tell Mr Feeder, B.A., what passed at the corner of the Square; but when Mr Feeder asks him 'When it is to come off?' Mr Toots replies, 'that there are certain subjects' - which brings Mr Feeder down a peg or two immediately. Mr Toots adds, that he don't know what right Blimber had to notice his being in Miss Dombey's company, and that if he thought he meant impudence by it, he'd have him out, Doctor or no Doctor; but he supposes its only his ignorance. Mr Feeder says he has no doubt of it.
Mr Feeder, however, as an intimate friend, is not excluded from the subject. Mr Toots merely requires that it should be mentioned mysteriously, and with feeling. After a few glasses of wine, he gives Miss Dombey's health, observing, 'Feeder, you have no idea of the sentiments with which I propose that toast.' Mr Feeder replies, 'Oh, yes, I have, my dear Toots; and greatly they redound to your honour, old boy.' Mr Feeder is then agitated by friendship, and shakes hands; and says, if ever Toots wants a brother, he knows where to find him, either by post or parcel. Mr Feeder like-wise says, that if he may advise, he would recommend Mr Toots to learn the guitar, or, at least the flute; for women like music, when you are paying your addresses to 'em, and he has found the advantage of it himself.
This brings Mr Feeder, B.A., to the confession that he has his eye upon Cornelia Blimber. He informs Mr Toots that he don't object to spectacles, and that if the Doctor were to do the handsome thing and give up the business, why, there they are - provided for. He says it's his opinion that when a man has made a handsome sum by his business, he is bound to give it up; and that Cornelia would be an assistance in it which any man might be proud of. Mr Toots replies by launching wildly out into Miss Dombey's praises, and by insinuations that sometimes he thinks he should like to blow his brains out. Mr Feeder strongly urges that it would be a rash attempt, and shows him, as a reconcilement to existence, Cornelia's portrait, spectacles and all.
Thus these quiet spirits pass the evening; and when it has yielded place to night, Mr Toots walks home with Mr Feeder, and parts with him at Doctor Blimber's door. But Mr Feeder only goes up the steps, and when Mr Toots is gone, comes down again, to stroll upon the beach alone, and think about his prospects. Mr Feeder plainly hears the waves informing him, as he loiters along, that Doctor Blimber will give up the business; and he feels a soft romantic pleasure in looking at the outside of the house, and thinking that the Doctor will first paint it, and put it into thorough repair.
Mr Toots is likewise roaming up and down, outside the casket that contains his jewel; and in a deplorable condition of mind, and not unsuspected by the police, gazes at a window where he sees a light, and which he has no doubt is Florence's. But it is not, for that is Mrs Skewton's room; and while Florence, sleeping in another chamber, dreams lovingly, in the midst of the old scenes, and their old associations live again, the figure which in grim reality is substituted for the patient boy's on the same theatre, once more to connect it - but how differently! - with decay and death, is stretched there, wakeful and complaining. Ugly and haggard it lies upon its bed of unrest; and by it, in the terror of her unimpassioned loveliness - for it has terror in the sufferer's failing eyes - sits Edith. What do the waves say, in the stillness of the night, to them?
'Edith, what is that stone arm raised to strike me? Don't you see it?'
There is nothing, mother, but your fancy.'
'But my fancy! Everything is my fancy. Look! Is it possible that you don't see it?'
'Indeed, mother, there is nothing. Should I sit unmoved, if there were any such thing there?'
'Unmoved?' looking wildly at her - 'it's gone now - and why are you so unmoved? That is not my fancy, Edith. It turns me cold to see you sitting at my side.'
'I am sorry, mother.'
'Sorry! You seem always sorry. But it is not for me!'
With that, she cries; and tossing her restless head from side to side upon her pillow, runs on about neglect, and the mother she has been, and the mother the good old creature was, whom they met, and the cold return the daughters of such mothers make. In the midst of her incoherence, she stops, looks at her daughter, cries out that her wits are going, and hides her face upon the bed.
Edith, in compassion, bends over her and speaks to her. The sick old woman clutches her round the neck, and says, with a look of horror,
'Edith! we are going home soon; going back. You mean that I shall go home again?'
'Yes, mother, yes.'
'And what he said - what's-his-name, I never could remember names - Major - that dreadful word, when we came away - it's not true? Edith!' with a shriek and a stare, 'it's not that that is the matter with me.'
Night after night, the lights burn in the window, and the figure lies upon the bed, and Edith sits beside it, and the restless waves are calling to them both the whole night long. Night after night, the waves are hoarse with repetition of their mystery; the dust lies piled upon the shore; the sea-birds soar and hover; the winds and clouds are on their trackless flight; the white arms beckon, in the moonlight, to the invisible country far away.
And still the sick old woman looks into the corner, where the stone arm - part of a figure of some tomb, she says - is raised to strike her. At last it falls; and then a dumb old woman lies upon the the bed, and she is crooked and shrunk up, and half of her is dead.
Such is the figure, painted and patched for the sun to mock, that is drawn slowly through the crowd from day to day; looking, as it goes, for the good old creature who was such a mother, and making mouths as it peers among the crowd in vain. Such is the figure that is often wheeled down to the margin of the sea, and stationed there; but on which no wind can blow freshness, and for which the murmur of the ocean has no soothing word. She lies and listens to it by the hour; but its speech is dark and gloomy to her, and a dread is on her face, and when her eyes wander over the expanse, they see but a broad stretch of desolation between earth and heaven.
Florence she seldom sees, and when she does, is angry with and mows at. Edith is beside her always, and keeps Florence away; and Florence, in her bed at night, trembles at the thought of death in such a shape, and often wakes and listens, thinking it has come. No one attends on her but Edith. It is better that few eyes should see her; and her daughter watches alone by the bedside.
A shadow even on that shadowed face, a sharpening even of the sharpened features, and a thickening of the veil before the eyes into a pall that shuts out the dim world, is come. Her wandering hands upon the coverlet join feebly palm to palm, and move towards her daughter; and a voice not like hers, not like any voice that speaks our mortal language - says, 'For I nursed you!'
Edith, without a tear, kneels down to bring her voice closer to the sinking head, and answers:
'Mother, can you hear me?'
Staring wide, she tries to nod in answer.
'Can you recollect the night before I married?'
The head is motionless, but it expresses somehow that she does.
'I told you then that I forgave your part in it, and prayed God to forgive my own. I told you that time past was at an end between us. I say so now, again. Kiss me, mother.'
Edith touches the white lips, and for a moment all is still. A moment afterwards, her mother, with her girlish laugh, and the skeleton of the Cleopatra manner, rises in her bed.
Draw the rose-coloured curtains. There is something else upon its flight besides the wind and clouds. Draw the rose-coloured curtains close!
Intelligence of the event is sent to Mr Dombey in town, who waits upon Cousin Feenix (not yet able to make up his mind for Baden-Baden), who has just received it too. A good-natured creature like Cousin Feenix is the very man for a marriage or a funeral, and his position in the family renders it right that he should be consulted.
'Dombey,' said Cousin Feenix, 'upon my soul, I am very much shocked to see you on such a melancholy occasion. My poor aunt! She was a devilish lively woman.'
Mr Dombey replies, 'Very much so.'
'And made up,' says Cousin Feenix, 'really young, you know, considering. I am sure, on the day of your marriage, I thought she was good for another twenty years. In point of fact, I said so to a man at Brooks's - little Billy Joper - you know him, no doubt - man with a glass in his eye?'
Mr Dombey bows a negative. 'In reference to the obsequies,' he hints, 'whether there is any suggestion - '
'Well, upon my life,' says Cousin Feenix, stroking his chin, which he has just enough of hand below his wristbands to do; 'I really don't know. There's a Mausoleum down at my place, in the park, but I'm afraid it's in bad repair, and, in point of fact, in a devil of a state. But for being a little out at elbows, I should have had it put to rights; but I believe the people come and make pic-nic parties there inside the iron railings.'
Mr Dombey is clear that this won't do.
'There's an uncommon good church in the village,' says Cousin Feenix, thoughtfully; 'pure specimen of the Anglo-Norman style, and admirably well sketched too by Lady Jane Finchbury - woman with tight stays - but they've spoilt it with whitewash, I understand, and it's a long journey.
'Perhaps Brighton itself,' Mr Dombey suggests.
'Upon my honour, Dombey, I don't think we could do better,' says Cousin Feenix. 'It's on the spot, you see, and a very cheerful place.'
'And when,' hints Mr Dombey, 'would it be convenient?'
'I shall make a point,' says Cousin Feenix, 'of pledging myself for any day you think best. I shall have great pleasure (melancholy pleasure, of course) in following my poor aunt to the confines of the - in point of fact, to the grave,' says Cousin Feenix, failing in the other turn of speech.
'Would Monday do for leaving town?' says Mr Dombey.
'Monday would suit me to perfection,' replies Cousin Feenix. Therefore Mr Dombey arranges to take Cousin Feenix down on that day, and presently takes his leave, attended to the stairs by Cousin Feenix, who says, at parting, 'I'm really excessively sorry, Dombey, that you should have so much trouble about it;' to which Mr Dombey answers, 'Not at all.'
At the appointed time, Cousin Feenix and Mr Dombey meet, and go down to Brighton, and representing, in their two selves, all the other mourners for the deceased lady's loss, attend her remains to their place of rest. Cousin Feenix, sitting in the mourning-coach, recognises innumerable acquaintances on the road, but takes no other notice of them, in decorum, than checking them off aloud, as they go by, for Mr Dombey's information, as 'Tom Johnson. Man with cork leg, from White's. What, are you here, Tommy? Foley on a blood mare. The Smalder girls' - and so forth. At the ceremony Cousin Feenix is depressed, observing, that these are the occasions to make a man think, in point of fact, that he is getting shaky; and his eyes are really moistened, when it is over. But he soon recovers; and so do the rest of Mrs Skewton's relatives and friends, of whom the Major continually tells the club that she never did wrap up enough; while the young lady with the back, who has so much trouble with her eyelids, says, with a little scream, that she must have been enormously old, and that she died of all kinds of horrors, and you mustn't mention it.
So Edith's mother lies unmentioned of her dear friends, who are deaf to the waves that are hoarse with repetition of their mystery, and blind to the dust that is piled upon the shore, and to the white arms that are beckoning, in the moonlight, to the invisible country far away. But all goes on, as it was wont, upon the margin of the unknown sea; and Edith standing there alone, and listening to its waves, has dank weed cast up at her feet, to strew her path in life withal.
一切都像往常一样进行着。海浪嘶哑地重复着它那神秘的语言;沙子堆积在岸上;海鸟上上下下地飞翔;风和云沿着它们不留踪迹的线路行进;白色的胳膊在月光下向远方看不见的国家打着招呼①。
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①请参见第十二章中保罗与图茨的谈话。保罗说,他看见月光下小船的船帆像银色的胳膊,似乎招呼他到它那里去。
弗洛伦斯怀着亲切的、令人伤感的喜悦,又来到了这块她过去曾经那么悲哀地、又那么幸福地走过的老地方,并在这安静的地方想念着他;他和她曾经好多次、好多次在这里一起交谈,海浪则在他的卧床旁涌上来。现在,当她沉思地坐在这里的时候,她在大海的低沉的哗哗声中又听到了他的小故事正在被重新叙述着,他的每一句话正在被重复地讲着;她觉得,从那时以来,在那座孤独的房屋和后来变成富丽堂皇的公馆中,她所有的生活、希望和悲哀,都反映在这首奇妙的歌曲中。
性格温和的图茨先生在稍远一些的地方漫步走着,同时愁闷地向他所热爱的人儿望着;他跟随弗洛伦斯来到这里,但却由于慎重的考虑,不能在这样的时候去打扰她。他听到海浪升高、降落,永恒地唱着赞颂弗洛伦斯的小曲,但在它们有时暂停的时候,他也听到它们唱着小保罗的安魂曲。是的,可怜的图茨先生,他也模糊地听明白海浪正在叙述那段他认为他比较聪明、头脑不糊涂的时光;当他担心他现在已变得迟钝、愚笨,除了供人取笑外,毫无其他用处的时候,他眼中涌出了泪水;海浪安慰地提醒他:由于那位全国家禽中英勇善斗的首领不在这里,而正在与拉基•博伊进行伟大的竞赛而从事训练(由图茨负担费用),因此图茨先生现在已摆脱了对斗鸡所负的责任;这一点使图茨先生感到高兴,可是涌出的泪水却使他的高兴减弱了。
然而当海浪向他低声诉说着充满柔情的思想的时候,图茨先生又把勇气鼓起来了;他慢慢地、慢慢地向弗洛伦斯身边走过去,在途中犹豫不决地停下很多次。当他走到她的身旁时,图茨先生结结巴巴,脸孔涨得通红,假装出惊异的样子,说,他这一辈子从来没有像现在这样感到惊奇过;其实,从伦敦开始,他就每一英寸都在紧紧跟随着她乘坐的马车;甚至车轮扬起的灰尘使他喘不过气来,他还感到十分高兴。
“您把戴奥吉尼斯也带来了,董贝小姐!”图茨先生说道;当那小手愉快地、坦诚地向他伸过来、接触到他时,他感到全身一阵阵震颤。
毫无疑问,戴奥吉尼斯是在这里;毫无疑问,图茨先生有理由注意到他,因为他向着图茨先生的腿直冲过来,像蒙塔吉斯的狗①一样,在向他奋不顾身地扑过去的时候,在地上翻滚着,但是他被他的女主人制止了。
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①蒙塔吉斯的狗(averydogofMontargis):根据法国传说,十四世纪时,一位名叫奥伯里•德•蒙塔吉斯的骑士和他的狗在森林中漫游时,被理查德•德•马克打死。除了这条狗外,其他任何人也没有见到过这位凶手。从那时起,这条狗一见到这个凶手,就愤怒地吠叫;由于顽强追逐的结果,罪犯终于被破获。根据国王的命令,狗与马克进行决斗,结果凶手死去。
“伏下,戴,伏下!难道你忘记了,最初是谁使我们成为朋友的,戴?真丢脸!”
啊,戴真幸福啊,他可以把他的腮帮子亲热地贴着她的手,然后跑开,又跑回来,然后围绕着她跑,一边吠叫着,并向任何路过的人冲过去,显示他的忠诚。图茨先生也真想能头向前地向任何路过的人冲过去。一位军人走过去了,图茨先生真想拼命地向他追扑过去。
“戴奥吉尼斯现在呼吸到他家乡的空气了,是不是,董贝小姐?”图茨先生说道。
弗洛伦斯微笑着,表示同意。
“董贝小姐,”图茨先生说道,“请原谅,如果您愿意散步到布林伯学校去的话,那么我——我现在到那里去。”
弗洛伦斯没有说话,挽着图茨先生的手,两人一起上了路,戴奥吉尼斯在前面跑着。图茨先生两只腿颤抖着;虽然他穿得漂漂亮亮的,可是他仍觉得服装不合适,并在伯吉斯公司精心缝制的产品中看到了皱痕;他很后悔不曾穿上他那双最亮的靴子。
布林伯博士的房屋外面仍像过去一样保持着学校的、研究学问的气派,上面还是那个窗子:她过去经常向那里寻找那张苍白的脸孔,那张苍白的脸孔看到她的时候就在那里露出喜色;当她走过的时候,那只消瘦的小手就在那里向他挥送着飞吻。门还是由那位弱视的年轻人开的;他看到图茨先生的时候,咧着嘴傻乎乎地笑着,这是他智力低下的表现。他们被领到博士的书房中;盲诗人荷马和米涅瓦像过去一样,在前厅大钟沉着冷静的滴嗒声中,在那里接见了他们;地球仪仍竖立在先前的位置上,仿佛整个世界也是静止的;世界上没有任何东西遵从普遍规律的作用而消亡;本来按照这一规律,当地球转动的时候,一切东西都是要化为尘土的。
布林伯博士跨着有学问的两腿,在书房里;布林伯夫人戴着天蓝色的帽子,也在这里;还有科妮莉亚也在这里,她梳着沙色的短小的卷发,戴着明亮的眼镜,仍像主管墓地的教堂司事一样,在语言的坟墓中工作着。那张他曾经让这个学校的“新孩子”可怜而陌生地坐着的桌子也仍旧摆在这里;那些原先的孩子们,遵循与过去同样的方针,在与过去同样的房间里,过着与过去同样的生活,他们轻微的正从远处传进书房里来。
“图茨,”布林伯博士说,“我很高兴看到您,图茨。”
图茨先生吃吃地笑了一下,作为回答。
“而且有这样好的伴侣,图茨:”布林伯博士说道。
图茨先生脸孔涨得通红,解释说,他是在无意间遇见了董贝小姐;董贝小姐像他本人一样,也想来看看老地方,所以他们就一起来了。
“当然,您一定会高兴在我们这些年轻的朋友中间走走的,董贝小姐,”布林伯博士说道,“他们都是您过去的同学,图茨。亲爱的,”布林伯博士转向科妮莉亚说道,“我想,从图茨先生离开我们以后,在我们这个小小的门廊里,我们没有再招收新的学生了吧?”
“只招收了比瑟斯通一个人。”科妮莉亚回答道。
“对了,一点不错,”博士说道,“对图茨先生来说,比瑟斯通是个新人。”
对弗洛伦斯来说,比瑟斯通几乎也是个新人,因为比瑟斯通不再是皮普钦太太寄宿学校里的比瑟斯通少爷了;他现在在教室里炫示着他的硬领和领饰,还戴了一块手表。但是比瑟斯通是在某个不吉祥的孟加拉星辰照耀下出生的,全身沾满了墨迹;他的词典由于经常翻查,浮肿得不想合上,而且困倦地打着呵欠,仿佛确实容忍不了这样经常的烦扰了。它的主人比瑟斯通在布林伯博士的高压下也同样打着呵欠;不过在比瑟斯通的呵欠中有着怨恨和怒气;人们听他说过,他希望能在印度把“老布林伯”逮住;老布林伯将很快就会发现自己被比瑟斯通的几个小工拖到这个国家的边远地区,交给谋杀教团①的团员们;他可以这样告诉他。
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①谋杀教团:印度旧时,因崇拜破坏女神,以杀人抢劫为业的宗教组织。
布里格斯依旧在知识磨坊中推着磨;托泽也是这样;约翰逊也是这样;所有其他的人也都是这样;年纪大一些的学生们所从事的,主要是通过勤奋的努力,把他们在年纪较小的时候所学到的一切东西给忘记掉。所有的人都跟过去一样彬彬有礼,脸色跟过去一样苍白;在他们中间,文学士菲德先生,手瘦得皮包骨头,头上密生着硬发,依旧像过去一样用功,这时候他刚刚正在教赫罗多德①的著作,由他这个人为手摇风琴演奏的其他曲谱放在他后面的一个搁架上。
解放了的图茨前来访问,这件事甚至在那些态度沉着的年轻先生们中间也引起了巨大的哄动。他们敬仰地看着他,就像他是渡过卢比孔河,发誓永不回来的一位英雄一样②。大家在背地里嘁嘁喳喳地议论着他的服装剪裁的式样和珠宝饰物的时新款式;可是爱发脾气的比瑟斯通(他不是图茨先生时期的人)却在较小的孩子面前装出看不起图茨先生的样子,说,他见识得更多,他真愿意在孟加拉见到图茨先生;他母亲在孟加拉有一块纯绿宝石,是属于他的,那是从印度王侯宝座脚底中取出来的;哎呀,那才了不起呢!看到了弗洛伦斯,这些年轻人在感情上也引起了极大的波动,每一位年轻的先生都立刻爱上了她,又是只有上面提到的爱发脾气的比瑟斯通一人例外;他出于反抗心,拒绝这样做。大家对图茨先生产生了恶意的妒嫉。布里格斯认为,图茨先生毕竟年纪还不算很老;可是这个贬损性的暗讽立即被图茨先生挡架住,使它不起作用;他大声对文学士菲德先生说,“您好,菲德!”,并邀请他今天在贝德福德旅馆去跟他一起吃晚饭;由于他成功地采取了这巧妙的一招,如果他愿意的话,那么他很可以自称为久经世事磨练的老手,没有人会提出异议的。
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①赫罗多德(Herodutus)(公元前484?——425年):公元前五世纪希腊历史学家,有历史之父之称。
②卢比孔(Rubicon)河,是意大利中部的一条河流。古罗马将军凯撒(JuliusCae-sar,公元前100——40年)如要渡过此河,必和掌握罗马政府大权的庞培(PompeytheGreat,公元前106—48年,罗马将军)一战,因此渡过卢比孔河是指采取断然手段,下了重大决心的行动。凯撒就是在说着“骰子已经掷下了”之后,前去渡过这条河的。
好多的握手,好多的鞠躬,每位年轻的先生都极想消除弗洛伦斯小姐对图茨先生的宠爱;接着,图茨先生对他旧日的课桌吃吃地笑了一声,作为问候;然后弗洛伦斯与他,并和布林伯夫人与科妮莉亚一起离开了;当布林伯博士最后走出来,并把门关上的时候,他们听到他说道,“各位先生,现在我们将重新开始我们的学习。”因为博士听到大海所说的,或者他这一辈子听到它所说的,就是这一句话,没有别的话了。
然后,弗洛伦斯悄悄地走开,跟布林伯夫人和科妮莉亚一起上楼到过去那间寝室里;图茨先生感到不需要他或其他人到那里去,就站在书房门口跟博士谈话,或者更确切地说,听博士对他说话;他感到奇怪,他过去怎么曾把这个书房看成是一座伟大的神殿,并把博士看成是一位令人敬畏的人;他那圆圆的、向里弯曲的腿就像是教堂里的钢琴一般。弗洛伦斯不久从楼上下来,告别了;图茨先生告别了;戴奥吉尼斯这段时间一直在无情地想咬那位弱视的年轻人,这时冲向门口,高兴地、挑衅地吠叫着,并沿着断崖飞跑下去;而这时候梅莉亚和博士的另一位女仆则从楼上的一个窗口往外望,对着“那里那位图茨”大笑着,同时谈到董贝小姐,说,“不过说真的,她不是很像她弟弟吗,只是更漂亮一些!”
当弗洛伦斯下楼来的时候,图茨先生看到她脸上挂着眼泪,感到非常焦虑不安,起初他担心他建议进行这次访问是不是错了。可是他不久就放下心,因为当他们沿着海滨向前走去的时候,她说她很高兴又到这里来,而且很高兴地谈着这次访问。当他们在海浪的和她那可爱的的伴随下,走近董贝先生的房屋,图茨先生必须离开她的时候,他已经完全成了她的奴隶,一星半点自由的意志也没剩下了;当她告别时向他伸出手来时,他怎么也放不开它。
“董贝小姐,请原谅,”图茨先生悲伤而慌乱地说道,“不过如果您肯允许我——”
弗洛伦斯的微笑的、天真无邪的神色使他立刻完全停住,讲不下去了。
“如果您肯允许我——如果您不认为这是放肆的话,董贝小姐,如果我能——在没有得到任何鼓励下,如果我能希望,您知道,”图茨先生说道。
弗洛伦斯诧异地看着他。
“董贝小姐,”图茨先生觉得他现在已经欲罢不能,只有鼓着勇气说下去了,“说实话,我爱慕您到了这样的地步,我真不知道没有您我自己一个人该怎么办。我是个最可怜最不幸的人。如果我们现在不是站在广场的角落里的话,那么我就一定跪下去,哀求您,恳请您,在没有得到您的任何鼓励下,仅仅给我一个希望:我可以——可以认为这是可能的,就是您——”
“啊,请您别这样!”弗洛伦斯感到相当惊慌和苦恼,喊道,“啊,请您别这样,图茨先生!请别说了。什么也别说了。
就把这作为您对我的好意和恩惠吧,请别说了。”
图茨先生张着嘴巴,羞愧得不得了。
“您一直来对我很好,”弗洛伦斯说道,“我十分感谢您,我有充分的理由喜欢您做我的一个好朋友,我的确是很喜欢您;”这时那张天真的脸向他浮现出世界上最愉快、最真诚的微笑,“我相信,您只不过是想对我说一声再见罢了。”
“当然,董贝小姐,”图茨先生说道,“我——我——这正是我想要说的。这无关紧要。”
“再见!”弗洛伦斯喊道。
“再见,董贝小姐!”图茨先生结结巴巴地说道,“我希望您别去想这件事。它是——它是无关紧要的,谢谢您。它是世界上最最无关紧要的事情。”
可怜的图茨先生怀着绝望的心情回到旅馆里,把自己锁在卧室中,猛倒在床上,长久地躺在那里,仿佛这毕竟不是一件无关紧要,而是最最重要的事情。可是文学士菲德先生来吃晚饭了,这对图茨先生倒是一件好事,要不然,真不知道他什么时候才会起床呢。图茨先生不得不起来会见他,并热情地款待他。
热情好客这个社会美德(不用提酒和丰盛的菜肴了)打开了图茨先生的心境,给了他温暖,使他开始交谈起来。他没有把广场角落里发生的事情告诉文学士菲德先生,但是当菲德先生问他“这事什么时候完成”时,图茨先生回答道,“有些话题——”,这就立即使菲德先生不能再追问下去。图茨先生还说,他不知道布林伯有什么权利注意到他是在董贝小姐陪伴下同去的;如果他认为布林伯这样说是有意冒失无礼的话,那么他就会老实不客气地指责他,不管他是不是博士;不过他想那只不过是布林伯不明真情罢了;菲德先生说,他对这点毫不怀疑。
不过,菲德先生是一位知心朋友,可以无所不谈,这个话题也不除外。图茨先生只要求神秘地、带着感情地谈。喝了几杯酒之后,他建议为董贝小姐的健康干杯,说道,“菲德,您根本想不到我是怀着一种什么感情建议为她祝酒的。”菲德先生回答道,“不,不,我想得到,我亲爱的图茨,这种感情大大地提高了您的荣誉呵,我的老同学。”这时候,菲德先生被友谊所激动,跟图茨先生握着手,说,如果图茨什么时候需要一个兄弟的话,那么他知道到什么地方去找他的。菲德先生还说,如果他可以劝告的话,那么他将建议图茨先生学习弹奏吉他,至少学习吹笛子,因为当您向女人献殷勤的时候,她们是喜爱音乐的,他本人就领会过音乐有这样的优点。
谈到这点,文学士菲德先生承认,他已看中了科妮莉亚•布林伯。他告诉图茨先生,他并不反对眼镜,如果博士肯慷慨解囊,并辞去他的职务的话,那么他们的生活就有保障了;在他看来,一个人由于工作挣得了一笔可观的财产之后,他就应当辞去他的职务;而科妮莉亚是一位任何人都会引以自豪的助手。图茨先生的回答是对董贝小姐满口不绝地称赞,还暗示说,他有时真想对准自己的脑袋开熗。菲德先生有力地强调说,这将是轻率鲁莽的尝试,为了使图茨先生安于生活,他还让他看看戴着眼镜和有其他特征的科妮莉亚的肖像。
这两位性情文静的人就这样度过了这个晚上;当夜接着来临的时候,图茨先生陪送菲德先生回家,并在布林伯博士的门口跟他分别。可是菲德先生只是走上台阶;当图茨先生离开以后,他又走下来,一个人在海滨散步,并默想着他的前程。菲德先生在溜达的时候,清楚地听到海浪在告诉他,布林伯博士将辞去他的工作;当他望着那房屋的外表,想着博士将首先重新油漆这房屋,并彻底修理它的时候,他感到了一种温柔的、浪漫的乐趣。
图茨先生也在收藏着他的宝石的盒子外面踱来踱去;在悲惨的心情下,他注视着一个发出亮光的窗子——警察对这并不是没有引起怀疑的——,他毫无疑问,那是弗洛伦斯的窗子。但实际上却并不是,因为那是斯丘顿夫人的房间;当弗洛伦斯睡在另一个房间里,在旧日的环境中,做着甜密的梦,旧日的一些联想又在心头复活的时候,一位老女人在冷酷的现实中,在这同一个剧场上,代替那个有病的孩子,又一次(然而是多么不同地!)恢复了与疾病和死亡的联系;她在这里伸开四肢,醒着,抱怨着。她面貌丑陋,形容枯槁,躺在她的得不到安息的床上;在她身旁,坐着伊迪丝,她那毫无热情的美貌令人恐怖——因为在病人的眼睛中,它具有令人恐怖的东西。在这寂静无声的夜间,海浪在对她们说些什么话呢?
“伊迪丝,这只举起来要打我的胳膊是谁的?你看见了吗?”
“那里什么也没有,妈妈,那只不过是你的幻觉罢了。”
“只不过是我的幻觉罢了!什么都是我的幻觉。看!难道你竟看不见吗?”
“真的,妈妈,那里什么也没有。如果那里当真有这样的东西的话,那么我还能这么木然不动地坐着吗?”
“木然不动?”她惊骇地看着她,“现在它消失了——不过你为什么能这么木然不动呢?那不是我的幻觉,伊迪丝。我看到你坐在我身旁,身上就发冷。”
“我感到遗憾,妈妈。”
“遗憾!你似乎老是在感到遗憾。可是并不是为了我!”
她一边说着一边就哭了起来,并把得不到休息的头在枕头上翻过来转过去,同时唠唠叨叨地说没有人理睬她,又说她曾经是个多么好的母亲;她们遇见的那位好老婆子也是一位多么好的母亲;这些母亲的女儿们又是怎样冷酷地报答她们。在这样语无伦次地说着的时候,她突然中途停下来,看着她的女儿,高声喊道,她的神志糊涂了,并把脸埋藏在床上。
伊迪丝怜悯地弯下身子,对她说话。有病的老太婆抓住她的脖子,露出恐怖的神情,说道:
“伊迪丝!我们很快就要回家了;很快就要回去了。你相信我还会回家吗?”
“会的,妈妈,会的。”
“他说了些什么话——他叫什么名字,我总是记不住名字——少校——当我们动身到这里来的时候,他说了那个可怕的字眼——难道不是吗,伊迪丝!”她尖声喊叫了一声,并瞪了一下眼睛,“难道那与我有什么关系吗?”
一夜又一夜,灯光在窗子里亮着;老太婆躺在床上,伊迪丝坐在她身旁;不平静的海浪整夜在向她们两人呼喊着。一夜又一夜,海浪嘶哑地重复着它那神秘的语言,沙子堆积在岸上;海鸟上上下下地飞翔;风和云沿着它们不留踪迹的线路行进;白色的胳膊在月光下向远方看不见的国家打着招呼。
有病的老太婆仍旧望着角落里;在那个角落里有一只石胳膊——她说,这是什么坟墓上的一个雕像的胳膊——正举起来要打她。最后这个石胳膊放下了,于是默默无声的老太婆躺在床上,身子蜷缩着,皮肤发皱,半个人已经死去了。
就是这位老太婆,涂脂抹粉,贴着美人斑,听凭太阳去嘲笑,一天又一天被慢慢地通过人群拉出去;这时她用眼睛寻找着那位曾经是多么好的母亲的好老婆子;当她在人群中找不到她的时候,她就撇着嘴。就是这位老太婆经常坐在车子里被一直送到海边,在那里停下来;可是不论什么风吹她,也不能使她振作起精神来;海洋发出的哗哗声中,没有一句安慰她的话。她躺着,听着它,但是它的语言对她是凶险的、不祥的,在她的脸上呈现出恐惧;当她的眼睛往浩瀚的汪洋望过去的时候,她所看到的只不过是天地之间茫茫一片荒凉而已。
她很少看到弗洛伦斯;当她看到的时候,她就对她生气,并皱着眉头。伊迪丝经常在她身旁,不让弗洛伦斯跟她们在一起;而弗洛伦斯夜间在床上一想到这样的死亡就浑身颤抖;她还时常醒来,听着,心想它已来临了。除了伊迪丝外;没有别的人照料老太婆。很少人看到她,这倒是好的。只有她的女儿一个人在床边看守着她。
在已经笼罩着阴影的脸上又加上一层阴影,在已经瘦削的脸形上又多了一重瘦削,她眼前的帷幕已转变成一块遮挡暗淡世界的厚厚的棺衣。在被单上摸来摸去的两只手软弱无力地合到一块,并向女儿那里移动;一个不像她的、也不像任何凡人所说的说道,“因为是我把你养大的!”
伊迪丝没有流泪,跪下去,使她的更挨近那个深埋到枕头里的头,回答道:
“妈妈,你能听到我说话吗?”
她把眼睛睁得大大的,想点头回答。
“你能记得我结婚前的那一夜吗?”
那个头一动不动,但从她脸上的表情中可以看出,她记得。
“那时候我对你说,我原谅你参与我的婚事,并祈求上帝宽恕我自己的参与。那时候我对你说,我们之间过去的事情已告一结束。我现在又重新这样说。吻我吧,妈妈。”
伊迪丝接触到那苍白的嘴唇,在片刻间一切都寂静无声。片刻之后,她的母亲带着她那少女般的笑声和克利奥佩特拉的骨头架子,在床上稍稍欠起身来。
把玫瑰色的帐子拉合上吧。除了风和云之外,还有别的什么东西在飞逝。把玫瑰色的帐子紧紧地拉合上吧!
这件事的消息已派人送到城里董贝先生那里;董贝先生拜访了菲尼克斯表哥(他还下不了决心去巴登—巴登);菲尼克斯表哥也刚接到消息。像菲尼克斯表哥这样性格温厚的人是参加婚礼或葬礼的最合适的人物;考虑到他在家中的地位,应当跟他商量商量,这是很恰当的。
“董贝,”菲尼克斯表哥说道,“说实话,在这样悲伤的时刻看到您,我非常激动。我可怜的妈妈!她过去是一位非常活泼的妇女。”
董贝先生回答道,“的确是这样。”
“而且,您知道,她外貌修整得实在年轻;”菲尼克斯表哥说道,“说真的,在您结婚的那一天,我曾以为她还能再活二十岁呢。事实上,我当时就跟布鲁克斯商行的一个人这样说过——他叫小比利•乔珀,有一只眼睛戴单眼镜的,毫无疑问,您认识他吧?”
董贝先生给了否定的回答。“关于葬礼,您是不是有什么建议——”
“啊,我的天!”菲尼克斯表哥说道,一边敲敲下巴,他从袖口中露出的手刚好能这样做,“我实在不知道!在我的土地上的公园里有一座陵庙,不过我担心,它需要好好修理一下,事实上,它现在的情况是很糟糕的。要不是手头不宽裕的话,我应当把它修整得好好的;不过我相信人们还常到那里去,在铁栏杆里举行野餐。”
董贝先生明白,那里不适宜。
“在那个村子里有一个少见的好教堂,”菲尼克斯表哥沉思地说道,“这是英格兰——诺尔曼风格的纯正的样本,简•芬奇伯里夫人——她是穿紧身褡的——还给它描绘过一幅精采的图画,不过据我了解,他们粉刷时把教堂糟蹋了,而且路途遥远。”
“也许就在布赖顿举行,怎么样?”董贝先生建议道。
“以我的荣誉发誓,董贝,我认为没有比这更好的地方了,”菲尼克斯表哥说道。“就在当地,而且那是个使人赏心悦目的地方。”
“定在什么日子合适呢?”董贝先生探问道。
“任何日子,只要是您认为最合适的,我都保证同意。”菲尼克斯表哥说道,“跟随我的姑妈到达那个——边境,事实上,也就是到达坟墓,我将感到极大的愉快(当然,是忧郁的愉快),”菲尼克斯表哥说道,其他的话他说不出来了。
“您能在星期一离开城里吗?”董贝先生问道。
“星期一对我完全合适,”菲尼克斯表哥回答道。因此董贝先生就约定在那天来把他送去,然后就立刻告辞了;菲尼克斯表哥把他送到楼梯口,分别时说道,“我实在非常抱歉,董贝,这件事给您添了这么多麻烦”;董贝先生回答道,“一点也不!”
在约定的那一天,菲尼克斯表哥和董贝先生会了面,然后前去布赖顿;他们两人代表对亡故的夫人表示哀悼的所有其他的人们,护送她的遗体到安息的地点。菲尼克斯表哥坐在灵柩车中,沿途认出无数熟人,可是他遵守礼节,没有和他们谈话,仅仅当从他们身旁经过的时候,他大声喊出他们的名字,让董贝先生知道;如:“汤姆•约翰逊。他有一条软木做的腿,是怀特公司给做的。怎么,汤米,您在这里呀?弗利,他骑一匹纯种的母马。这是斯莫德尔的姑娘们”,等等。在举行葬礼时,菲尼克斯表哥情绪低落;他说,在这种场合,一个人不由得会想到,他的身体事实上已逐渐衰弱了;当仪式结束时,他的眼睛确实是泪汪汪的。但是他很快就恢复了精神;斯丘顿夫人的其他亲友们也跟他一样;其中少校在俱乐部里反复地讲,她从来不把衣服穿严实;那位光裸着后背、打扮得十分年轻、费很大劲才能撑开眼皮的夫人则轻轻地头叫了一声,说,她一定非常衰老了;她是得了各种最可怕的病死去的;您应该别提起它了。
就这样,伊迪丝的母亲躺在那里,不再被她亲爱的朋友们提起,他们听不见海浪嘶哑地重复着它那神秘的语言,看不见沙子堆积在岸上,看不见白色的胳膊在月光下向远方看不见的国家打着招呼。可是在这未知的海洋的边缘,一切都像往常一样进行着;伊迪丝独自站在那里,听着海浪的;潮湿的海藻漂打到她的脚边,而且也撒布在她的生活道路上。
慕若涵

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Chapter 42
Confidential and Accidental
Attired no more in Captain Cuttle's sable slops and sou'-wester hat, but dressed in a substantial suit of brown livery, which, while it affected to be a very sober and demure livery indeed, was really as self-satisfied and confident a one as tailor need desire to make, Rob the Grinder, thus transformed as to his outer man, and all regardless within of the Captain and the Midshipman, except when he devoted a few minutes of his leisure time to crowing over those inseparable worthies, and recalling, with much applauding music from that brazen instrument, his conscience, the triumphant manner in which he had disembarrassed himself of their company, now served his patron, Mr Carker. Inmate of Mr Carker's house, and serving about his person, Rob kept his round eyes on the white teeth with fear and trembling, and felt that he had need to open them wider than ever.
He could not have quaked more, through his whole being, before the teeth, though he had come into the service of some powerful enchanter, and they had been his strongest spells. The boy had a sense of power and authority in this patron of his that engrossed his whole attention and exacted his most implicit submission and obedience. He hardly considered himself safe in thinking about him when he was absent, lest he should feel himself immediately taken by the throat again, as on the morning when he first became bound to him, and should see every one of the teeth finding him out, and taxing him with every fancy of his mind. Face to face with him, Rob had no more doubt that Mr Carker read his secret thoughts, or that he could read them by the least exertion of his will if he were so inclined, than he had that Mr Carker saw him when he looked at him. The ascendancy was so complete, and held him in such enthralment, that, hardly daring to think at all, but with his mind filled with a constantly dilating impression of his patron's irresistible command over him, and power of doing anything with him, he would stand watching his pleasure, and trying to anticipate his orders, in a state of mental suspension, as to all other things.
Rob had not informed himself perhaps - in his then state of mind it would have been an act of no common temerity to inquire - whether he yielded so completely to this influence in any part, because he had floating suspicions of his patron's being a master of certain treacherous arts in which he had himself been a poor scholar at the Grinders' School. But certainly Rob admired him, as well as feared him. Mr Carker, perhaps, was better acquainted with the sources of his power, which lost nothing by his management of it.
On the very night when he left the Captain's service, Rob, after disposing of his pigeons, and even making a bad bargain in his hurry, had gone straight down to Mr Carker's house, and hotly presented himself before his new master with a glowing face that seemed to expect commendation.
'What, scapegrace!' said Mr Carker, glancing at his bundle 'Have you left your situation and come to me?'
'Oh if you please, Sir,' faltered Rob, 'you said, you know, when I come here last - '
'I said,' returned Mr Carker, 'what did I say?'
'If you please, Sir, you didn't say nothing at all, Sir,' returned Rob, warned by the manner of this inquiry, and very much disconcerted.
His patron looked at him with a wide display of gums, and shaking his forefinger, observed:
'You'll come to an evil end, my vagabond friend, I foresee. There's ruin in store for you.
'Oh if you please, don't, Sir!' cried Rob, with his legs trembling under him. ' I'm sure, Sir, I only want to work for you, Sir, and to wait upon you, Sir, and to do faithful whatever I'm bid, Sir.'
'You had better do faithfully whatever you are bid,' returned his patron, 'if you have anything to do with me.'
'Yes, I know that, Sir,' pleaded the submissive Rob; 'I'm sure of that, SIr. If you'll only be so good as try me, Sir! And if ever you find me out, Sir, doing anything against your wishes, I give you leave to kill me.'
'You dog!' said Mr Carker, leaning back in his chair, and smiling at him serenely. 'That's nothing to what I'd do to you, if you tried to deceive me.'
'Yes, Sir,' replied the abject Grinder, 'I'm sure you would be down upon me dreadful, Sir. I wouldn't attempt for to go and do it, Sir, not if I was bribed with golden guineas.'
Thoroughly checked in his expectations of commendation, the crestfallen Grinder stood looking at his patron, and vainly endeavouring not to look at him, with the uneasiness which a cur will often manifest in a similar situation.
'So you have left your old service, and come here to ask me to take you into mine, eh?' said Mr Carker.
'Yes, if you please, Sir,' returned Rob, who, in doing so, had acted on his patron's own instructions, but dared not justify himself by the least insinuation to that effect.
'Well!' said Mr Carker. 'You know me, boy?'
'Please, Sir, yes, Sir,' returned Rob, tumbling with his hat, and still fixed by Mr Carker's eye, and fruitlessly endeavouring to unfix himself.
Mr Carker nodded. 'Take care, then!'
Rob expressed in a number of short bows his lively understanding of this caution, and was bowing himself back to the door, greatly relieved by the prospect of getting on the outside of it, when his patron stopped him.
'Halloa!' he cried, calling him roughly back. 'You have been - shut that door.'
Rob obeyed as if his life had depended on his alacrity.
'You have been used to eaves-dropping. Do you know what that means?'
'Listening, Sir?' Rob hazarded, after some embarrassed reflection.
His patron nodded. 'And watching, and so forth.'
'I wouldn't do such a thing here, Sir,' answered Rob; 'upon my word and honour, I wouldn't, Sir, I wish I may die if I would, Sir, for anything that could be promised to me. I should consider it is as much as all the world was worth, to offer to do such a thing, unless I was ordered, Sir.'
'You had better not' You have been used, too, to babbling and tattling,' said his patron with perfect coolness. 'Beware of that here, or you're a lost rascal,' and he smiled again, and again cautioned him with his forefinger.
The Grinder's breath came short and thick with consternation. He tried to protest the purity of his intentions, but could only stare at the smiling gentleman in a stupor of submission, with which the smiling gentleman seemed well enough satisfied, for he ordered him downstairs, after observing him for some moments in silence, and gave him to understand that he was retained in his employment. This was the manner of Rob the Grinder's engagement by Mr Carker, and his awe-stricken devotion to that gentleman had strengthened and increased, if possible, with every minute of his service.
It was a service of some months' duration, when early one morning, Rob opened the garden gate to Mr Dombey, who was come to breakfast with his master, by appointment. At the same moment his master himself came, hurrying forth to receive the distinguished guest, and give him welcome with all his teeth.
'I never thought,' said Carker, when he had assisted him to alight from his horse, 'to see you here, I'm sure. This is an extraordinary day in my calendar. No occasion is very special to a man like you, who may do anything; but to a man like me, the case is widely different.
'You have a tasteful place here, Carker,' said Mr Dombey, condescending to stop upon the lawn, to look about him.
'You can afford to say so,' returned Carker. 'Thank you.'
'Indeed,' said Mr Dombey, in his lofty patronage, 'anyone might say so. As far as it goes, it is a very commodious and well-arranged place - quite elegant.'
'As far as it goes, truly,' returned Carker, with an air of disparagement' 'It wants that qualification. Well! we have said enough about it; and though you can afford to praise it, I thank you nonetheless. Will you walk in?'
Mr Dombey, entering the house, noticed, as he had reason to do, the complete arrangement of the rooms, and the numerous contrivances for comfort and effect that abounded there. Mr Carker, in his ostentation of humility, received this notice with a deferential smile, and said he understood its delicate meaning, and appreciated it, but in truth the cottage was good enough for one in his position - better, perhaps, than such a man should occupy, poor as it was.
'But perhaps to you, who are so far removed, it really does look better than it is,' he said, with his false mouth distended to its fullest stretch. 'Just as monarchs imagine attractions in the lives of beggars.'
He directed a sharp glance and a sharp smile at Mr Dombey as he spoke, and a sharper glance, and a sharper smile yet, when Mr Dombey, drawing himself up before the fire, in the attitude so often copied by his second in command, looked round at the pictures on the walls. Cursorily as his cold eye wandered over them, Carker's keen glance accompanied his, and kept pace with his, marking exactly where it went, and what it saw. As it rested on one picture in particular, Carker hardly seemed to breathe, his sidelong scrutiny was so cat-like and vigilant, but the eye of his great chief passed from that, as from the others, and appeared no more impressed by it than by the rest.
Carker looked at it - it was the picture that resembled Edith - as if it were a living thing; and with a wicked, silent laugh upon his face, that seemed in part addressed to it, though it was all derisive of the great man standing so unconscious beside him. Breakfast was soon set upon the table; and, inviting Mr Dombey to a chair which had its back towards this picture, he took his own seat opposite to it as usual.
Mr Dombey was even graver than it was his custom to be, and quite silent. The parrot, swinging in the gilded hoop within her gaudy cage, attempted in vain to attract notice, for Carker was too observant of his visitor to heed her; and the visitor, abstracted in meditation, looked fixedly, not to say sullenly, over his stiff neckcloth, without raising his eyes from the table-cloth. As to Rob, who was in attendance, all his faculties and energies were so locked up in observation of his master, that he scarcely ventured to give shelter to the thought that the visitor was the great gentleman before whom he had been carried as a certificate of the family health, in his childhood, and to whom he had been indebted for his leather smalls.
'Allow me,' said Carker suddenly, 'to ask how Mrs Dombey is?'
He leaned forward obsequiously, as he made the inquiry, with his chin resting on his hand; and at the same time his eyes went up to the picture, as if he said to it, 'Now, see, how I will lead him on!'
Mr Dombey reddened as he answered:
'Mrs Dombey is quite well. You remind me, Carker, of some conversation that I wish to have with you.'
'Robin, you can leave us,' said his master, at whose mild tones Robin started and disappeared, with his eyes fixed on his patron to the last. 'You don't remember that boy, of course?' he added, when the enmeshed Grinder was gone.
'No,' said Mr Dombey, with magnificent indifference.
'Not likely that a man like you would. Hardly possible,' murmured Carker. 'But he is one of that family from whom you took a nurse. Perhaps you may remember having generously charged yourself with his education?'
'Is it that boy?' said Mr Dombey, with a frown. 'He does little credit to his education, I believe.'
'Why, he is a young rip, I am afraid,' returned Carker, with a shrug. 'He bears that character. But the truth is, I took him into my service because, being able to get no other employment, he conceived (had been taught at home, I daresay) that he had some sort of claim upon you, and was constantly trying to dog your heels with his petition. And although my defined and recognised connexion with your affairs is merely of a business character, still I have that spontaneous interest in everything belonging to you, that - '
He stopped again, as if to discover whether he had led Mr Dombey far enough yet. And again, with his chin resting on his hand, he leered at the picture.
'Carker,' said Mr Dombey, 'I am sensible that you do not limit your - '
'Service,' suggested his smiling entertainer.
'No; I prefer to say your regard,' observed Mr Dombey; very sensible, as he said so, that he was paying him a handsome and flattering compliment, 'to our mere business relations. Your consideration for my feelings, hopes, and disappointments, in the little instance you have just now mentioned, is an example in point. I I am obliged to you, Carker.'
Mr Carker bent his head slowly, and very softly rubbed his hands, as if he were afraid by any action to disturb the current of Mr Dombey's confidence.
'Your allusion to it is opportune,' said Mr Dombey, after a little hesitation; 'for it prepares the way to what I was beginning to say to you, and reminds me that that involves no absolutely new relations between us, although it may involve more personal confidence on my part than I have hitherto - '
'Distinguished me with,' suggested Carker, bending his head again: 'I will not say to you how honoured I am; for a man like you well knows how much honour he has in his power to bestow at pleasure.'
'Mrs Dombey and myself,' said Mr Dombey, passing this compliment with august self-denial, 'are not quite agreed upon some points. We do not appear to understand each other yet' Mrs Dombey has something to learn.'
'Mrs Dombey is distinguished by many rare attractions; and has been accustomed, no doubt, to receive much adulation,' said the smooth, sleek watcher of his slightest look and tone. 'But where there is affection, duty, and respect, any little mistakes engendered by such causes are soon set right.'
Mr Dombey's thoughts instinctively flew back to the face that had looked at him in his wife's dressing-room when an imperious hand was stretched towards the door; and remembering the affection, duty, and respect, expressed in it, he felt the blood rush to his own face quite as plainly as the watchful eyes upon him saw it there.
'Mrs Dombey and myself,' he went on to say, 'had some discussion, before Mrs Skewton's death, upon the causes of my dissatisfaction; of which you will have formed a general understanding from having been a witness of what passed between Mrs Dombey and myself on the evening when you were at our - at my house.'
'When I so much regretted being present,' said the smiling Carker. 'Proud as a man in my position nay must be of your familiar notice - though I give you no credit for it; you may do anything you please without losing caste - and honoured as I was by an early presentation to Mrs Dombey, before she was made eminent by bearing your name, I almost regretted that night, I assure you, that I had been the object of such especial good fortune'
That any man could, under any possible circumstances, regret the being distinguished by his condescension and patronage, was a moral phenomenon which Mr Dombey could not comprehend. He therefore responded, with a considerable accession of dignity. 'Indeed! And why, Carker?'
'I fear,' returned the confidential agent, 'that Mrs Dombey, never very much disposed to regard me with favourable interest - one in my position could not expect that, from a lady naturally proud, and whose pride becomes her so well - may not easily forgive my innocent part in that conversation. Your displeasure is no light matter, you must remember; and to be visited with it before a third party -
'Carker,' said Mr Dombey, arrogantly; 'I presume that I am the first consideration?'
'Oh! Can there be a doubt about it?' replied the other, with the impatience of a man admitting a notorious and incontrovertible fact'
'Mrs Dombey becomes a secondary consideration, when we are both in question, I imagine,' said Mr Dombey. 'Is that so?'
'Is it so?' returned Carker. 'Do you know better than anyone, that you have no need to ask?'
'Then I hope, Carker,' said Mr Dombey, 'that your regret in the acquisition of Mrs Dombey's displeasure, may be almost counterbalanced by your satisfaction in retaining my confidence and good opinion.'
'I have the misfortune, I find,' returned Carker, 'to have incurred that displeasure. Mrs Dombey has expressed it to you?'
'Mrs Dombey has expressed various opinions,' said Mr Dombey, with majestic coldness and indifference, 'in which I do not participate, and which I am not inclined to discuss, or to recall. I made Mr's Dombey acquainted, some time since, as I have already told you, with certain points of domestic deference and submission on which I felt it necessary to insist. I failed to convince Mrs Dombey of the expediency of her immediately altering her conduct in those respects, with a view to her own peace and welfare, and my dignity; and I informed Mrs Dombey that if I should find it necessary to object or remonstrate again, I should express my opinion to her through yourself, my confidential agent.'
Blended with the look that Carker bent upon him, was a devilish look at the picture over his head, that struck upon it like a flash of lightning.
'Now, Carker,' said Mr Dombey, 'I do not hesitate to say to you that I will carry my point. I am not to be trifled with. Mrs Dombey must understand that my will is law, and that I cannot allow of one exception to the whole rule of my life. You will have the goodness to undertake this charge, which, coming from me, is not unacceptable to you, I hope, whatever regret you may politely profess - for which I am obliged to you on behalf of Mrs Dombey; and you will have the goodness, I am persuaded, to discharge it as exactly as any other commission.'
'You know,' said Mr Carker, 'that you have only to command me.
'I know,' said Mr Dombey, with a majestic indication of assent, 'that I have only to command you. It is necessary that I should proceed in this. Mrs Dombey is a lady undoubtedly highly qualified, in many respects, to -
'To do credit even to your choice,' suggested Carker, with a yawning show of teeth.
'Yes; if you please to adopt that form of words,' said Mr Dombey, in his tone of state; 'and at present I do not conceive that Mrs Dombey does that credit to it, to which it is entitled. There is a principle of opposition in Mrs Dombey that must be eradicated; that must be overcome: Mrs Dombey does not appear to understand,' said Mr Dombey, forcibly, 'that the idea of opposition to Me is monstrous and absurd.'
'We, in the City, know you better,' replied Carker, with a smile from ear to ear.
'You know me better,' said Mr Dombey. 'I hope so. Though, indeed, I am bound to do Mrs Dombey the justice of saying, however inconsistent it may seem with her subsequent conduct (which remains unchanged), that on my expressing my disapprobation and determination to her, with some severity, on the occasion to which I have referred, my admonition appeared to produce a very powerful effect.' Mr Dombey delivered himself of those words with most portentous stateliness. 'I wish you to have the goodness, then, to inform Mrs Dombey, Carker, from me, that I must recall our former conversation to her remembrance, in some surprise that it has not yet had its effect. That I must insist upon her regulating her conduct by the injunctions laid upon her in that conversation. That I am not satisfied with her conduct. That I am greatly dissatisfied with it. And that I shall be under the very disagreeable necessity of making you the bearer of yet more unwelcome and explicit communications, if she has not the good sense and the proper feeling to adapt herself to my wishes, as the first Mrs Dombey did, and, I believe I may add, as any other lady in her place would.'
'The first Mrs Dombey lived very happily,' said Carker.
'The first Mrs Dombey had great good sense,' said Mr Dombey, in a gentlemanly toleration of the dead, 'and very correct feeling.'
'Is Miss Dombey like her mother, do you think?' said Carker.
Swiftly and darkly, Mr Dombey's face changed. His confidential agent eyed it keenly.
'I have approached a painful subject,' he said, in a soft regretful tone of voice, irreconcilable with his eager eye. 'Pray forgive me. I forget these chains of association in the interest I have. Pray forgive me.'
But for all he said, his eager eye scanned Mr Dombey's downcast face none the less closely; and then it shot a strange triumphant look at the picture, as appealing to it to bear witness how he led him on again, and what was coming.
Carker,' said Mr Dombey, looking here and there upon the table, and saying in a somewhat altered and more hurried voice, and with a paler lip, 'there is no occasion for apology. You mistake. The association is with the matter in hand, and not with any recollection, as you suppose. I do not approve of Mrs Dombey's behaviour towards my daughter.'
'Pardon me,' said Mr Carker, 'I don't quite understand.'
'Understand then,' returned Mr Dombey, 'that you may make that - that you will make that, if you please - matter of direct objection from me to Mrs Dombey. You will please to tell her that her show of devotion for my daughter is disagreeable to me. It is likely to be noticed. It is likely to induce people to contrast Mrs Dombey in her relation towards my daughter, with Mrs Dombey in her relation towards myself. You will have the goodness to let Mrs Dombey know, plainly, that I object to it; and that I expect her to defer, immediately, to my objection. Mrs Dombey may be in earnest, or she may be pursuing a whim, or she may be opposing me; but I object to it in any case, and in every case. If Mrs Dombey is in earnest, so much the less reluctant should she be to desist; for she will not serve my daughter by any such display. If my wife has any superfluous gentleness, and duty over and above her proper submission to me, she may bestow them where she pleases, perhaps; but I will have submission first! - Carker,' said Mr Dombey, checking the unusual emotion with which he had spoken, and falling into a tone more like that in which he was accustomed to assert his greatness, 'you will have the goodness not to omit or slur this point, but to consider it a very important part of your instructions.'
Mr Carker bowed his head, and rising from the table, and standing thoughtfully before the fire, with his hand to his smooth chin, looked down at Mr Dombey with the evil slyness of some monkish carving, half human and half brute; or like a leering face on an old water-spout. Mr Dombey, recovering his composure by degrees, or cooling his emotion in his sense of having taken a high position, sat gradually stiffening again, and looking at the parrot as she swung to and fro, in her great wedding ring.
'I beg your pardon,' said Carker, after a silence, suddenly resuming his chair, and drawing it opposite to Mr Dombey's, 'but let me understand. Mrs Dombey is aware of the probability of your making me the organ of your displeasure?'
'Yes,' replied Mr Dombey. 'I have said so.'
'Yes,' rejoined Carker, quickly; 'but why?'
'Why!' Mr Dombey repeated, not without hesitation. 'Because I told her.'
'Ay,' replied Carker. 'But why did you tell her? You see,' he continued with a smile, and softly laying his velvet hand, as a cat might have laid its sheathed claws, on Mr Dombey's arm; 'if I perfectly understand what is in your mind, I am so much more likely to be useful, and to have the happiness of being effectually employed. I think I do understand. I have not the honour of Mrs Dombey's good opinion. In my position, I have no reason to expect it; but I take the fact to be, that I have not got it?'
'Possibly not,' said Mr Dombey.
'Consequently,' pursued Carker, 'your making the communications to Mrs Dombey through me, is sure to be particularly unpalatable to that lady?'
'It appears to me,' said Mr Dombey, with haughty reserve, and yet with some embarrassment, 'that Mrs Dombey's views upon the subject form no part of it as it presents itself to you and me, Carker. But it may be so.'
'And - pardon me - do I misconceive you,' said Carker, 'when I think you descry in this, a likely means of humbling Mrs Dombey's pride - I use the word as expressive of a quality which, kept within due bounds, adorns and graces a lady so distinguished for her beauty and accomplishments - and, not to say of punishing her, but of reducing her to the submission you so naturally and justly require?'
'I am not accustomed, Carker, as you know,' said Mr Dombey, 'to give such close reasons for any course of conduct I think proper to adopt, but I will gainsay nothing of this. If you have any objection to found upon it, that is indeed another thing, and the mere statement that you have one will be sufficient. But I have not supposed, I confess, that any confidence I could entrust to you, would be likely to degrade you - '
'Oh! I degraded!' exclaimed Carker. 'In your service!'
'or to place you,' pursued Mr Dombey, 'in a false position.'
'I in a false position!' exclaimed Carker. 'I shall be proud - delighted - to execute your trust. I could have wished, I own, to have given the lady at whose feet I would lay my humble duty and devotion - for is she not your wife! - no new cause of dislike; but a wish from you is, of course, paramount to every other consideration on earth. Besides, when Mrs Dombey is converted from these little errors of judgment, incidental, I would presume to say, to the novelty of her situation, I shall hope that she will perceive in the slight part I take, only a grain - my removed and different sphere gives room for little more - of the respect for you, and sacrifice of all considerations to you, of which it will be her pleasure and privilege to garner up a great store every day.'
Mr Dombey seemed, at the moment, again to see her with her hand stretched out towards the door, and again to hear through the mild speech of his confidential agent an echo of the words, 'Nothing can make us stranger to each other than we are henceforth!' But he shook off the fancy, and did not shake in his resolution, and said, 'Certainly, no doubt.'
'There is nothing more,' quoth Carker, drawing his chair back to its old place - for they had taken little breakfast as yet- and pausing for an answer before he sat down.
'Nothing,' said Mr Dombey, 'but this. You will be good enough to observe, Carker, that no message to Mrs Dombey with which you are or may be charged, admits of reply. You will be good enough to bring me no reply. Mrs Dombey is informed that it does not become me to temporise or treat upon any matter that is at issue between us, and that what I say is final.'
Mr Carker signIfied his understanding of these credentials, and they fell to breakfast with what appetite they might. The Grinder also, in due time reappeared, keeping his eyes upon his master without a moment's respite, and passing the time in a reverie of worshipful tenor. Breakfast concluded, Mr Dombey's horse was ordered out again, and Mr Carker mounting his own, they rode off for the City together.
Mr Carker was in capital spirits, and talked much. Mr Dombey received his conversation with the sovereign air of a man who had a right to be talked to, and occasionally condescended to throw in a few words to carry on the conversation. So they rode on characteristically enough. But Mr Dombey, in his dignity, rode with very long stirrups, and a very loose rein, and very rarely deigned to look down to see where his horse went. In consequence of which it happened that Mr Dombey's horse, while going at a round trot, stumbled on some loose stones, threw him, rolled over him, and lashing out with his iron-shod feet, in his struggles to get up, kicked him.
Mr Carker, quick of eye, steady of hand, and a good horseman, was afoot, and had the struggling animal upon his legs and by the bridle, in a moment. Otherwise that morning's confidence would have been Mr Dombey's last. Yet even with the flush and hurry of this action red upon him, he bent over his prostrate chief with every tooth disclosed, and muttered as he stooped down, 'I have given good cause of offence to Mrs Dombey now, if she knew it!'
Mr Dombey being insensible, and bleeding from the head and face, was carried by certain menders of the road, under Carker's direction, to the nearest public-house, which was not far off, and where he was soon attended by divers surgeons, who arrived in quick succession from all parts, and who seemed to come by some mysterious instinct, as vultures are said to gather about a camel who dies in the desert. After being at some pains to restore him to consciousness, these gentlemen examined into the nature of his injuries.
One surgeon who lived hard by was strong for a compound fracture of the leg, which was the landlord's opinion also; but two surgeons who lived at a distance, and were only in that neighbourhood by accident, combated this opinion so disinterestedly, that it was decided at last that the patient, though severely cut and bruised, had broken no bones but a lesser rib or so, and might be carefully taken home before night. His injuries being dressed and bandaged, which was a long operation, and he at length left to repose, Mr Carker mounted his horse again, and rode away to carry the intelligence home.
Crafty and cruel as his face was at the best of times, though it was a sufficiently fair face as to form and regularity of feature, it was at its worst when he set forth on this errand; animated by the craft and cruelty of thoughts within him, suggestions of remote possibility rather than of design or plot, that made him ride as if he hunted men and women. Drawing rein at length, and slackening in his speed, as he came into the more public roads, he checked his white-legged horse into picking his way along as usual, and hid himself beneath his sleek, hushed, crouched manner, and his ivory smile, as he best could.
He rode direct to Mr Dombey's house, alighted at the door, and begged to see Mrs Dombey on an affair of importance. The servant who showed him to Mr Dombey's own room, soon returned to say that it was not Mrs Dombey's hour for receiving visitors, and that he begged pardon for not having mentioned it before.
Mr Carker, who was quite prepared for a cold reception, wrote upon a card that he must take the liberty of pressing for an interview, and that he would not be so bold as to do so, for the second time (this he underlined), if he were not equally sure of the occasion being sufficient for his justification. After a trifling delay, Mrs Dombey's maid appeared, and conducted him to a morning room upstairs, where Edith and Florence were together.
He had never thought Edith half so beautiful before. Much as he admired the graces of her face and form, and freshly as they dwelt within his sensual remembrance, he had never thought her half so beautiful.
Her glance fell haughtily upon him in the doorway; but he looked at Florence - though only in the act of bending his head, as he came in - with some irrepressible expression of the new power he held; and it was his triumph to see the glance droop and falter, and to see that Edith half rose up to receive him.
He was very sorry, he was deeply grieved; he couldn't say with what unwillingness he came to prepare her for the intelligence of a very slight accident. He entreated Mrs Dombey to compose herself. Upon his sacred word of honour, there was no cause of alarm. But Mr Dombey -
Florence uttered a sudden cry. He did not look at her, but at Edith. Edith composed and reassured her. She uttered no cry of distress. No, no.
Mr Dombey had met with an accident in riding. His horse had slipped, and he had been thrown.
Florence wildly exclaimed that he was badly hurt; that he was killed!
No. Upon his honour, Mr Dombey, though stunned at first, was soon recovered, and though certainly hurt was in no kind of danger. If this were not the truth, he, the distressed intruder, never could have had the courage to present himself before Mrs Dombey. It was the truth indeed, he solemnly assured her.
All this he said as if he were answering Edith, and not Florence, and with his eyes and his smile fastened on Edith.
He then went on to tell her where Mr Dombey was lying, and to request that a carriage might be placed at his disposal to bring him home.
'Mama,' faltered Florence in tears, 'if I might venture to go!'
Mr Carker, having his eyes on Edith when he heard these words, gave her a secret look and slightly shook his head. He saw how she battled with herself before she answered him with her handsome eyes, but he wrested the answer from her - he showed her that he would have it, or that he would speak and cut Florence to the heart - and she gave it to him. As he had looked at the picture in the morning, so he looked at her afterwards, when she turned her eyes away.
'I am directed to request,' he said, 'that the new housekeeper - Mrs Pipchin, I think, is the name - '
Nothing escaped him. He saw in an instant, that she was another slight of Mr Dombey's on his wife.
' - may be informed that Mr Dombey wishes to have his bed prepared in his own apartments downstairs, as he prefers those rooms to any other. I shall return to Mr Dombey almost immediately. That every possible attention has been paid to his comfort, and that he is the object of every possible solicitude, I need not assure you, Madam. Let me again say, there is no cause for the least alarm. Even you may be quite at ease, believe me.'
He bowed himself out, with his extremest show of deference and conciliation; and having returned to Mr Dombey's room, and there arranged for a carriage being sent after him to the City, mounted his horse again, and rode slowly thither. He was very thoughtful as he went along, and very thoughtful there, and very thoughtful in the carriage on his way back to the place where Mr Dombey had been left. It was only when sitting by that gentleman's couch that he was quite himself again, and conscious of his teeth.
About the time of twilight, Mr Dombey, grievously afflicted with aches and pains, was helped into his carriage, and propped with cloaks and pillows on one side of it, while his confidential agent bore him company upon the other. As he was not to be shaken, they moved at little more than a foot pace; and hence it was quite dark when he was brought home. Mrs Pipchin, bitter and grim, and not oblivious of the Peruvian mines, as the establishment in general had good reason to know, received him at the door, and freshened the domestics with several little sprinklings of wordy vinegar, while they assisted in conveying him to his room. Mr Carker remained in attendance until he was safe in bed, and then, as he declined to receive any female visitor, but the excellent Ogress who presided over his household, waited on Mrs Dombey once more, with his report on her lord's condition.
He again found Edith alone with Florence, and he again addressed the whole of his soothing speech to Edith, as if she were a prey to the liveliest and most affectionate anxieties. So earnest he was in his respectful sympathy, that on taking leave, he ventured - with one more glance towards Florence at the moment - to take her hand, and bending over it, to touch it with his lips.
Edith did not withdraw the hand, nor did she strike his fair face with it, despite the flush upon her cheek, the bright light in her eyes, and the dilation of her whole form. But when she was alone in her own room, she struck it on the marble chimney-shelf, so that, at one blow, it was bruised, and bled; and held it from her, near the shining fire, as if she could have thrust it in and burned it'
Far into the night she sat alone, by the sinking blaze, in dark and threatening beauty, watching the murky shadows looming on the wall, as if her thoughts were tangible, and cast them there. Whatever shapes of outrage and affront, and black foreshadowings of things that might happen, flickered, indistinct and giant-like, before her, one resented figure marshalled them against her. And that figure was her husband.
磨工罗布不再穿卡特尔船长给他的黑色丧服,也不再戴那防水帽,而是穿上一套结实的、棕色的制服了;虽然这套制服在他身上表面上装出很朴实、很端庄的样子,但实际上却显出一副沾沾自喜、逞能自信的神态,这正是任何裁缝都愿意把衣服做成这种气派的;就这样,磨工罗布完全改变了他的外观;他在心里也完全把船长和海军军官候补生抛开,只不过在闲暇的时候才花上几分钟向这些难以分开的、尊贵的朋友们夸耀一下自己的升迁,并在那黄铜乐器——他的良心——发出的赞扬的音乐的伴奏下,回忆起他是怎样得意扬扬地摆脱了他们的;他现在为他的恩人卡克先生服务。他住在卡克先生家里,侍候着他本人,因此一直怀着恐惧的心情,哆哆嗦嗦地把他那圆圆的眼睛片刻不离地注视着卡克先生那雪白的牙齿,而且觉得,他应当把眼睛睁得比过去任何时候都更大才是。
即使他是在一位大巫士手下服务,牙齿又是这巫士最强有力的魔力的话,那么他也不能比对着卡克先生这些牙齿,全身上下颤抖得更厉害的了。这孩子在他恩人身上感觉到一种力量和权威,它吸引了他的全部注意力,迫使他绝对地驯服与顺从。甚至当他的恩人不在的时候,他也并不认为他想到他时就安全无恙,因为他唯恐他的恩人又会像他第一次见到他的那天早上一样,立即就抓住他的喉咙;他唯恐又会看到,他恩人的每一颗牙齿都来揭发他,并谴责他心中的每一个念头。跟他恩人面对面在一起的时候,罗布毫不怀疑:卡克先生看透他的秘密的思想;或者更确切地说,如果卡克先生想要这样做的话,那么他只要稍稍运用一下他的意志,他就能看透它们;罗布完全相信这一点,就像他相信他在看卡克先生的时候,卡克先生一定在看他一样。卡克先生凌驾于他的力量是这样包罗一切,是这样牢牢地把他置于他的控制之下,因此他根本连想也不敢去想,而只是在整个心里不断地愈益强烈地感觉到,他的恩人对他具有不可抗拒的权威,并有能力对他做任何事情,因此他就站着讨取他的欢心,并设法抢先去执行他的命令,至于其他一切思想活动则完全停止了。
也许罗布没有问过他自己——在他当时的心情下,提出这样的问题将会是一件非常轻率的行为——:他在各个方面都这样完全屈服于这种影响,是不是因为他在心中曾浮现过这样的猜疑:他的恩人是奸诈权术的大师,而他自己在磨工学校中在这方面也曾经是一名可怜的学生。不过罗布不仅怕他,而且也的的确确钦佩他。也许卡克先生更了解他力量的源泉,并万无一失地运用它。
罗布在辞退了船长那里的职务的当天晚上,卖掉了鸽子,在匆匆忙忙之中甚至做了一笔不利的交易之后,就直接来到卡克先生的家里,兴奋地出现在他的新主人的面前;他满脸通红,似乎指望得到称赞似的。
“怎么,淘气鬼!”卡克先生向他的包袱看了一眼,说道,“你已经辞退了你的工作,上我这里来了?”
“嗯,对不起,先生,”罗布结结巴巴地说道,“您知道,上次我到这里来的时候,您曾说过——”
“我曾说过,”卡克先生回答道,“我曾说过什么啦?”
“对不起,先生,您什么也没有说过,先生,”罗布回答道;卡克先生问话的语气已对他发出了警告;他感到张皇失措。
他的恩人露出宽阔的牙床,看着他,又用食指点了点,说道:
“我看你今后没有好下场,我的流浪汉朋友。灾祸等待着你。”
“啊,请别这样说,先生!”罗布喊道,他身子下面的两只腿颤抖着。“说实在的,先生,我只想为您工作;先生;只想侍候您,先生;只想忠实地完成您吩咐我的一切事情,先生。”
“如果你想跟我打交道,”他的恩人回答道,“你最好是忠实地完成我吩咐你的一切事情。”
“是的,这我明白,先生,”顺从的罗布辩护道,“这我相信,先生。如果您肯开个恩,考验考验我的话,先生!而且,如果您什么时候发现我做任何违反您的意愿的事情的话,先生,那么我可以让您杀死我。”
“你这狗!”卡克先生背靠在椅子上,向他从容地微笑着,说道,“如果你想要欺骗我的话,那么我就会让你够难受的;
跟那比起来,杀死你根本算不了什么!”
“是的,先生,”丧魂落魄的磨工回答道,“我相信,您会残酷可怕地惩治我,先生。哪怕有人用金基尼来收买我,我也不想欺骗您,先生。”
磨工本想得到称赞的指望完全落了空,他垂头丧气地站在那里看着他的恩人,并徒劳无益地想不去看他;那惴惴不安的神情就像一条狗在类似情况下时常表现出来的那样。
“这么说,你已经辞退了你原先的工作,到这里来请求我允许你在我手下服务,是不是?”卡克先生问道。
“是的,如果您愿意的话,先生,”罗布回答道;他实际上是遵照他的恩人的指令到这里来的,可是现在他甚至不敢稍稍暗示一下这个事实来为自己辩护。
“好吧!”卡克先生说道,“你了解我吧,孩子?”
“对不起,先生,是的,先生,”罗布回答道,一边笨手笨脚地摸弄着帽子,同时仍旧被卡克先生的眼光束缚住;虽然他想从这束缚中解脱出来,但总是徒劳无效。
卡克先生点点头。“那么就多加小心吧!”
罗布连连鞠躬,表示他对这警告有着深刻的理解,同时一边鞠躬,一边向门口退去;当他眼看就要退出门外,正感到极大欣慰的时候,他的恩人把他喊住了。
“喂!”他喊道,粗暴地叫他回来。“你过去经常——把门关上!”
罗布立即遵命,仿佛他的生命就取决于他是否敏捷似的。
“你过去经常躲在屋檐下面。你知道这是什么意思吗?”
“是说偷听吧,先生?”罗布困惑地思索了一下,大胆猜测道。
他的恩人点点头。“以及偷看,等等。”
“我决不会在这里做这些事情,先生,”罗布回答道,“说实话,我以我的荣誉发誓,我决不会这样做,先生;不论向我许什么愿,我宁肯死去,也不愿这样做。除非您对我下达命令,否则即使把全世界的珍宝献给我,要我去做这种事情,我也决不动心。”
“你最好别做。你过去还经常泄露秘密,搬弄是非,”他的恩人十分冷淡地说道。“在这里可不行,你得知道这一点,要不然,你就是个不可救药的无赖了,”他又微笑着,而且又用食指向他点了点,向他发出警告。
磨工惊恐得直喘粗气。他本想要表白他过去那样做的用意是纯洁的,但在毫无抵抗、俯首听命的情绪中,他只能瞪眼看着那位微笑着的先生。那位微笑着的先生似乎对他的顺从十分满意,因为他默默地把他打量了一会儿之后,命令他下楼去,并让他了解,他已被留下雇用了。
罗布就是这样被卡克先生雇用的。他对那位先生诚惶诚恐的忠诚,随着他的服务时间,每分钟都在加强和增进(如果这是可能的话)。
罗布服务了几个月之后,有一天早上,他给董贝先生打开了花园的门;董贝先生是按照约定来跟他的主人一起吃早饭的。就在这时候,他的主人来了,急忙走向前去迎接这位重要的客人,并露出全部牙齿表示欢迎。
“我从没料想到会在这里见到您,”卡克先生帮助他从马上下来的时候,说道,“这是我的日程表中一个不同寻常的日子!对于像您这样的人来说,没有什么场合是十分特殊的,因为您可以做任何事情;可是对于像我这样的人来说,情况就完全不同了。”
“您在这里有一个很雅致的地方呢,卡克,”董贝先生态度谦和地在草坪上停下脚步,向四周看看。
“承蒙您夸奖了,”卡克先生回答道,“谢谢您。”
“真的,”董贝先生以他居高临下的恩主的态度说道,“任何人都会这样说。就实际情况来说,这是个很宽敞、设计安排得很好的地方——十分优雅。”
“就实际情况来说,”卡克先生露出自我贬损的神态,回答道,“它确实还够不上那样的评价。唔,我们对它已说得够多的了;不过承蒙您称赞它,我还是谢谢您。请您进去好吗?”
董贝先生走进房屋里面,注意到(他有理由注意到)房间完美的布置和陈列在各处的许多舒适的家具和摆设。卡克先生故意装出一副谦恭的态度,露出尊敬的微笑,对待这注意,并说,他理解这注意所包含着的关怀体贴的意义,并重视它;不过这茅舍尽管简陋,可是对于像他这样地位的人来说确实是够好的了,也许像他这样的人还不配占有它呢。
“不过对于像您这样身份高贵的人来说,它看来确实比实际情况要好一些,”他把他虚伪的嘴巴张开到最宽阔的程度,说道,“就像君主在乞丐的生活中发现一些有趣的东西一样。”
他一边说,一边向董贝先生敏锐地看了一眼和敏锐地微笑了一下;当董贝先生昂首挺胸地站在壁炉前面,摆出他的二把手经常摹仿的姿势,环视挂在四周墙上的图画时,他向他更敏锐地看了一眼和更敏锐地微笑了一下。当董贝先生冷淡的眼光在这些图画上匆匆地扫过的时候,卡克先生的机警的眼光紧紧伴随着他的眼光,确切地留意它投向哪里,看到的是什么。当它停留在一张图画上的时候,卡克似乎屏住了呼吸;他斜着眼的跟踪是那么像猫,那么警惕,可是他的上司的眼光就像从其他的图画上滑过一样,从这张画上滑过去了,看来它在他心中并不比其他图画留下更深刻的印象。
卡克看着它——这就是那张像伊迪丝的图画——,仿佛那是个活着的人似的;他脸上露出恶意的笑容,仿佛是在向这张图画致意,但实际上却是在嘲笑这位毫无猜疑地站在他身旁的伟大人物。早饭很快就摆到桌上,他请董贝先生坐到背对着这张图画的椅子中,他自己则像平时一样,在对着它的位子中坐下。
董贝先生甚至比往常更为严肃,而且十分沉默。那只鹦鹉在华丽的笼子中的镀金的圆环中来回摇荡,徒劳地企图吸引人们对她的注意,因为卡克先生专心致志地注视着他的主人,顾不到注意她了,而那位客人则出神地陷在沉思之中;他越过硬挺的领饰呆呆地——如果不说是愁眉不展地——看着,眼睛没有从桌布上抬起。至于在桌旁侍候的罗布,他正聚精会神地注视着他的主人,所以脑子里根本没有闪过这样的念头:这位客人就是那位他在童年时代、曾经作为他们家庭的健康证明被抱到他面前的伟大的贵人;由于他的恩惠,他还曾经穿上那条皮短裤。
“请允许我问一下,”卡克突然问道,“董贝夫人身体好吧?”
他发问的时候,谄媚地把身子往前弯过去,手支托着下巴,眼睛向上望着图画,仿佛对它说,“喂,您看,我是怎样引导他的!”
董贝先生脸红了,回答道:
“董贝夫人身体很好。卡克,您提醒我有些话想跟您谈一谈。”
“罗布,你可以走了,”他的主人说道,罗布听到他温和的声调吃了一惊,然后离开了,但他的眼睛直到最后一秒钟还注视着他的恩人。“您当然不记得这孩子了?”当夹杂在他们当中的磨工走开以后,他的主人又补问了一句。
“不记得了,”董贝先生庄严地、漠不关心地说道。
“像您这样的人是不大会记得他的。简直不可能记得。”卡克低声说道,“可是他是您雇用过的一位奶妈的孩子。也许您记得,您曾慷慨地为他的教育提供过帮助吧?”
“就是那个孩子吗?”董贝先生皱了一下眉头,说道,“我相信,他并没有为他所受的教育增光。”
“是的,我担心,他是个一无可取的年轻人,”卡克耸耸肩膀,回答道。“他有那样的名声。可是实际情况是,我还是让他来给我服务了,因为他找不到其他职业,就认为(我敢说,这是他家里教给他的),他可以向您提出什么要求似的,于是不断设法尾随着您,向您提出请求。虽然我跟您商定的、双方承认的关系仅仅是属于业务性质的,可是我对属于您的一切事情仍然具有那种自发的兴趣,因此——”
他又停住,仿佛想看一看他把董贝先生是不是已经引得够远了,然后,他又用手支托着下巴,斜眼看着那张图画。
“卡克,”董贝先生说道,“我知道您并不限制您的——”
“服务,”请他吃早饭的主人笑嘻嘻地提示道。
“不,我宁肯说是您的关心,”董贝先生说道;他很清楚,他这么说是给了他一个很大的讨他喜欢的恭维。“我知道,您并不把您的关心局限于我们之间纯粹的业务关系方面。您刚才提到的那件小事就是个很好的例子,说明您关心我的感情、希望和失望。我感谢您,卡克。”
卡克先生慢慢地低下头,很轻地搓着手,仿佛他担心任何动作都会打断董贝先生的充满信任的话语似的。
“您提到这一点正是时候,”董贝先生略略迟疑之后,说道,“因为您为我正想开头和您谈的问题铺平了道路,并且提醒我,这并不涉及我们两人之间要建立什么完全新的关系,虽然就我这方面来说,我对您的信任可能会超过我过去任何时候——”
“所赏赐给我的光荣,”卡克提示道,一面又低下头去:“我不想对您说,我是多么荣幸;因为像您这样的人十分了解,在您的权力范围之内您能随意授予人们多大的光荣。”
“董贝夫人和我本人,”董贝先生用威严的、克己的态度听完这些恭维的话之后说道,“在一些问题上没有取得十分一致的意见。我们彼此好像还不了解。董贝夫人还应当学习一些东西。”
“董贝夫人具有许多珍贵的吸引人的品质,毫无疑问,过去一向习惯于接受人们的奉承,”这位花言巧语、狡黠圆滑的人说道,他对他主人的眼色和声调的最微小的地方都是注意观察的。“但是在具有爱情、责任感和尊敬的家庭里,由于这种原因所产生的任何小小的误会是很快就会消除的。”
董贝先生的思想不由得飞回到他妻子在化妆室里,不容违抗地用手指向门口时看着他的那张脸;当他回忆起在这张脸上所显示出的爱情、责任感和尊敬时,他清楚地感到血涌到了他自己的脸上;那双注意观察的眼睛也同样清楚地看到了这一点。
“在斯丘顿夫人逝世前,”他继续说道,“董贝夫人曾和我对我不满的原因进行过一些讨论;那天晚上您在我们的——在我的家里亲眼见到董贝夫人和我之间发生的情形,因此您对我们的讨论将会有一个大概的了解。”
“我正非常悔恨当时我在场呢!”笑嘻嘻的卡克说道。“虽然像我这样地位的人得到您亲密无间的关注——尽管我是不配得到这种关注的,而您则可以不失身份地做任何您认为合适的事情——必然一定会感到自豪,虽然在董贝夫人没有姓您的姓、成为地位崇高的夫人之前我就荣幸地被较早地介绍给她认识,可是说实话,那天晚上会有这样特殊的幸运落到我的身上,我几乎感到遗憾。”
不论什么人,在不论什么可能的情况下,会因为受到他的破格对待和恩惠而感到遗憾,这是董贝先生不能理解的心理现象。因此,他十分尊严地问道:“真的吗?为什么呢,卡克?”
“董贝夫人本来对我就从没有抱有多大的好感,”他亲信的助手回答道,“像我这样地位的人也不能指望从一位生性高傲的夫人那里得到好感(这种高傲对她来说是完全合适的),我担心,董贝夫人可能不会轻易地原谅我无罪地参加了那一次谈话。您一定记得,您的不满不是一件小事,而有第三者在场——”
“卡克,”董贝先生傲慢地说道,“我认为,首先应当考虑的是我吧?”
“啊!对这还能有什么怀疑的呢?”另一位就像一个承认尽人皆知的、无可争辩的事实的人那样不耐烦地回答道。
“我想,在涉及我们两个人的问题的时候,董贝夫人应当成为次要的考虑,”董贝先生说道,“是不是这样?”
“是不是这样?”卡克回答道,“您不是比任何人都明白,用不着问这个问题吗?”
“卡克,”董贝先生说道,“您虽然由于招致董贝夫人的不满而感到遗憾,但是您由于保持我的信任与好感是会感到高兴的,因为,我希望,您的高兴可能几乎会抵消您的遗憾。”
“我觉得,我已不幸地招致了这种不满,”卡克回答道,“董贝夫人已向您表示过了吧?”
“董贝夫人表示过各种意见,”董贝先生用威严的、冷淡的、漠不关心的语气说道,“我没有参与这些意见,也不打算讨论或回忆它们。我已跟您说过,不久以前我向董贝夫人提出一些意见,要求她在家庭生活中保持应有的尊敬与顺从,这些意见我认为是有必要坚持的。我没有说服董贝夫人,为了她自己的安宁、幸福以及我的尊严,她有必要立即改变她在这些方面的行为;我告诉董贝夫人,如果我认为有必要再次提出反对或抗议的时候,那么我将通过您,我亲信的助手,来转达我的意见。”
卡克在向他投出的眼光中,还夹杂着一道邪恶的眼光,越过他的头顶,像闪电一般落在图画上面。
“现在,卡克,”董贝先生说道,“我毫不迟疑地跟您说,我一定要实现我的主张。我不是个被随意小看的人,董贝夫人必须懂得,我的意志就是法律,在我的全部生活规则中我不允许有一个例外。我想劳驾您去执行这项使命。既然这是我的委托,我希望它对您并不是不可接受的,不管您会礼貌地表示什么遗憾——对于这一点,我代表董贝夫人向您表示感谢;我相信,您一定肯帮忙,像完成其他各项任务一样,准确地去完成它。”
“您知道,”卡克先生说道,“您只需命令我就行了。”
“我知道,”董贝先生威风凛凛地表示同意,说道,“我只需命令您就行了。我认为有必要采取另一些步骤。董贝夫人在许多方面无疑是赋有高超资质的一位夫人——”
“甚至对您的选择也是增添了光彩的,”卡克先生讨好地露出牙齿,说道。
“是的,如果您喜欢采用这样的词句来表达的话,”董贝先生用庄严的语气说道,“那么现在我并不认为董贝夫人的所作所为是对这种选择增添了光彩。董贝夫人具有一种对抗的脾气,这是必须根除,必须克服的。董贝夫人好像还不懂得,”董贝先生有力地说道,“对抗我这种想法本身就是骇人听闻和荒谬绝伦的。”
“我们在城里的人对您了解得更清楚,”卡克先生咧着嘴,满脸堆着笑容。
“您比较了解我,”董贝先生说道,“我希望这样。不过我确实还是应当替董贝夫人说句公道话,不管她后来的行为(跟以前没有变化)可能跟这如何不相一致,但在我提到的那一次,我有些严厉地向她表示了我的不赞成和决心之后,我的劝告还是产生了强有力的效果。”董贝先生极为高傲、庄严地说了这些话。“因此,卡克,我想劳驾您以我的名义通知董贝夫人,我必须提醒她记着我们以前的谈话,因为我有些惊奇,为什么它至今还没有产生应有的效果。我必须坚持她按照我在这次谈话中向她发出的命令来改正她的行为。我对她的行为不满意。我对它很不满意。如果她缺乏健全的思想和正当的感情,不能像第一位董贝夫人那样按照我的愿望行事的话(我想,我可以补充一句,任何女士处在她那种地位都会像第一位董贝夫人那样做的),那么我将会很不愉快地不得不通过您向她转达使她更不愉快、更明显无误的指示了。”
“第一位董贝夫人过得很幸福,”卡克说道。
“第一位董贝夫人有极健全的思想和很正确的感情,”董贝先生抱着对死者高尚地表示宽容的态度说道。
“您认为董贝小姐像她母亲吗?”卡克问道。
董贝先生的脸色迅速地、可怕地改变了。深得他信任的助手敏锐地注意到这一点。
“我提到一个令人痛苦的话题了,”他用温顺的、遗憾的声调说道,这声调跟他的怀着渴望的眼睛是不相协调的。“请原谅我。我所怀有的兴趣使我忘记这可能引起的联想了。请原谅我。”
可是不管他说些什么,他的热切的眼睛仍旧像先前一样密切地细细观察着董贝先生的忧闷不乐的脸孔;然后他向那张图画投了一道奇怪的、扬扬得意的眼光,好像请求她来当见证人,看他怎样又重新引导他,并看又会发生些什么事情。
“卡克,”董贝先生向桌子上这里看看,那里看看,张开更加苍白的嘴唇,用有些改变了的和更加急促的说道:
“没有什么您需要道歉的理由。您误会了。联想是由于眼前发生的事情而引起的,并不是像您所猜想,是由于任何回忆而引起的。我不赞成董贝夫人对待我女儿的态度。”
“请原谅,”卡克先生说道,“我不很理解。”
“那就请理解吧,”董贝先生回答道,“您可以——不,您必须向董贝夫人转达我对这件事的反对意见。请您告诉她,她向我女儿显示的热爱,使我感到不愉快。这种热爱很可能引起人们的注意。这很可能促使人们把董贝夫人跟我女儿的关系和董贝夫人跟我的关系加以对比。劳驾您让董贝夫人清楚地知道,我反对这一点。我期望她立即尊重我的反对意见。董贝夫人可能是真心真意热爱她,也可能这只是她的一种古怪脾气,也可能她是要反对我;但不论是什么情况,我都反对这一点。如果董贝夫人是真心真意热爱她的话,那么她就更应当高高兴兴、毫不勉强地停止这样做,因为她的任何这种显示对我的女儿都没有什么益处。如果我的妻子除了对我正当地表示顺从外,还有多余的温柔与关怀,那么她也许就可以随自己的心意,爱赏锡给谁就赏赐给谁;但我首先要求的是顺从!卡克,”董贝先生抑制一下他说这些话时的不寻常的激动情绪,恢复了他为维护他的崇高身份所习惯采用的声调,说道,“烦请您务必不要忘记或忽略这一点,而应当把它作为您所接受的指示中的很重要的部分。”
卡克先生点了点头,从桌子旁边站起来,沉思地站在壁炉前面,并用手支托着光滑的下巴,从上往下看着董贝先生;那副阴险狡猾的样子就像是那半人半兽的猿猴雕刻,或者像是古老水落管上斜眼瞅着的脸孔。董贝先生逐渐恢复了镇静,或者由于意识到自己的高贵身份而使激动的情绪冷静下来,坐在那里,变得生硬呆板,并看着鹦鹉在大结婚戒指中来回摇荡。
“请原谅,”卡克沉默了一些时候,忽然又坐到椅子中,并把它拉到董贝先生椅子的对面,说道,“可是请让我弄明白,董贝夫人知道您可能利用我,向她转达您对她的不满吗?”
“是的,”董贝先生回答道,“我已经这样说过了。”
“是的?”卡克先生很快地回答道,“可是为什么呢?”
“为什么!”董贝先生还是没有迟疑地重复道,“因为我告诉她了。”
“唔,”卡克先生回答道,“可是您为什么告诉她呢?您知道,”他微笑了一下,继续说道,一边把他天鹅绒一般柔软的手轻轻地放在董贝先生的胳膊上,就像一只猫掩盖它尖利的脚爪时会这样做的一样;“如果我完全明白您心中的想法,我就可能对您更有用,并有幸更有效地为您服务。我想我已明白了。我不能荣幸地得到董贝夫人的好感。就我的地位来说,我也没有理由指望得到它;但是我想知道,事实是不是就是这样,我是不是就这样接受它?”
“事实可能是这样,”董贝先生说道。
“因此,”卡克继续说道,“您通过我向董贝夫人转达您的指示,一定会使这位夫人感到格外讨厌的吧?”
“我认为,”董贝先生保持着傲慢而沉着的态度,又感到几分为难地说道,“董贝夫人怎样看这个问题是一回事,您和我怎样看这个问题是另一回事,彼此没有关系,卡克。不过情况可能就像您所说的那样。”
“请原谅,不知道我是不是误解了您的意思,”卡克说道,“我想您发现这是压低董贝夫人高傲的一种合适的办法——我在这里使用了高傲这个字眼,用来表明一种在适当的限度内能成为一位美貌和才能出众的夫人的一种装饰品并使她增光的品质——,而且,不说是惩罚她,这也是迫使她顺从的一种合适的办法,而顺从正是您自然地和正当地要求她做到的。不知道我这样理解对吗?”
“卡克,您知道,”董贝先生说道,“我对我认为应当采取的行动,不习惯于解释它的确切的理由,但我也不想否定您的想法,如果您根据您的这种想法提出反对的话,那倒确实是另外一回事了。您只需声明一下就够了。不过,我想我并不认为我对您的任何信任会降低您的身价——”

  “哎哟!降低我的身价!”卡克高声喊道,“在为您效劳的时候!”

  “或者把您,”董贝先生继续说道,“放在一个虚伪的地位上。”

  “或者把我放在一个虚伪的地位上!”卡克高声喊道,“我将因为执行您的信托而感到自豪——高兴。我承认,我希望别使这位夫人又有一些新的理由讨厌我,她是我愿意五体投地向她表示我的尊敬与忠诚的夫人——因为她不是您的夫人吗!——,但是您的愿望自然胜过其他的一切考虑。况且,当董贝夫人改正了这些判断上的小小错误以后——我大胆地说一句,这些小小错误都是由于她的地位发生了新奇的变化而偶然产生的——,我希望那时候她将会在我所起的微不足道的作用中,看到我对您的一丝敬意——我的地位低微,情况与她不同,不能指望有更多的了——,并看到我为了您的缘故牺牲了其他的一切考虑,那时她每天把她所看到的这星星点点的事例都积累起来,将是她的快乐与荣幸。”

  董贝先生在这片刻之间似乎又看到她把手指向门口,在他的亲信的助手的甜言蜜语中又听到了这些话语的回声:“从今以后,没有什么能使我们比现在更互不相干的了!”可是他驱除了这个幻觉,没有动摇决心,说道,“当然,毫无疑问。”

  “没有别的了吗?”卡克问道,一边把他的椅子拉回到原来的地方——因为他们直到现在几乎还没有吃早饭——,仍旧站着,等待回答:

  “只有一点了,”董贝先生说道,“卡克,烦请您转告:现在或将来可能委托您向董贝夫人转达的任何口信都不需要答复。请您不要给我捎回答复。我已经告诉董贝夫人,对我们两人之间争执的任何问题进行妥协或谈判都是不合适的,我所说的一切都是不容改变的。”

  卡克先生表示理解这个信托,他们就以他们可能有的胃口,开始吃早饭。磨工也在适当的时候重新出现了,眼睛分秒不离地注视着主人,崇敬而又恐怖地在沉思中消度时间。早饭吃完之后,董贝先生的马按照吩咐被牵了出来,卡克先生也骑上了他自己的马,他们一起骑着到城里去。

  卡克先生情绪极好,说了好多话。董贝先生以一位有权要求别人跟他谈话的人的尊严的态度听着他的话,偶尔也放下架子,插进一两句,以便使谈话进行下去。

  两个人就这样充分保持着各自的性格,向前骑着。可是董贝先生摆出一副尊严的神态,把马蹬带放得太长,缰绳握得太松,又很少肯委屈一下自己,去看一下他的马往哪里骑去,结果,董贝先生的马在轻快地小跑着的时候,在一些松动的石头上绊倒了,把他从马鞍上面摔了下来,从他身上滚过去;当它想挣扎着起来的时候,它用铁蹄向他东一脚西一脚地踢着。

  卡克先生是一位好骑手,眼睛敏锐,手臂有力;他立即下了马,片刻之间就握住嚼子,使在地上挣扎着的牲口立起腿来,要不然,那天早上机密的谈话就会成为董贝先生最后一次的谈话了。然而甚至当卡克先生由于动作急忙、紧张,脸孔涨得通红的时候,他仍露出全部牙齿,向平躺在地上的老板弯下身子,低声说道,“如果董贝夫人知道的话,那么现在我可真要使她有理由生我的气了!”

  董贝先生失去了知觉,头和脸上流着血;在卡克先生的指挥下,几个修路工人把他抬到最近的客栈中。这个客栈离城不远,到了那里,立即有好几位外科医生来护理他;这些医生似乎出于某种神秘的本能,很快从各个地方陆续来到,就像兀鹰据说会飞集在沙漠中死去的骆驼周围一样。这些先生们想方设法使他恢复知觉之后,就着手诊察他的伤势。一位住在附近的医生坚决认为腿上发生了复合骨折,客栈的老板也同意这一意见;但两位住在远处、只是偶然来到附近一带地方的医生毫无私心地反对这一意见,最后作出决定:病人虽然严重地被碰破、摔伤,但除了一条小肋骨之类的东西外,其他骨头都没有折断,可以在夜晚之前小心地送回家去。当医生们花了很长时间,把他的伤口敷上药膏,扎上绷带,终于使他静躺休息之后,卡克先生又骑上了马,离开客栈,把消息捎回家去。

  他的脸尽管就外型和端正的五官来说是相当漂亮的,然而就是在最好的时候看去也是狡猾和残酷的,而当他带着这个使命出发的时候,这张脸就更令人厌恶了。当他在心中翻腾着狡猾的、残酷的思想,思索着与其说是阴谋诡计、还不如说是遥远的可能性的时候,他得到了鼓舞,所以骑得很快,仿佛在追赶男人和女人一样。当他骑到行人较多的大路上的时候,他终于勒住缰绳,放慢速度,控制着他的白腿的马,像平时一样,选择着最好的路;同时摆出圆滑的、沉默的、低头弯腰的态度,露出牙齿微笑着,因此就把他的真实面貌尽可能地给掩盖住了。

  他直接骑到董贝先生的公馆,在门口下了马,请求会见董贝夫人谈一件重要的事情。那位仆人把他领到董贝先生本人的房间中,不久回来说,现在不是董贝夫人接见客人的时间,请原谅他事先没有把这一点告诉他。

  卡克先生对冷淡的接待完全有准备,就在名片上写道,他一定要冒昧地恳求再会见一次;如果他认为他没有充分的正当的理由,那他就不会放肆地第二次提出这个要求了(他在第二次三个字下面划了横线)。过了不久,董贝夫人的侍女出来把他领到楼上一个起居室里,伊迪丝和弗洛伦斯两人都在那里。

  他以前从没有想到伊迪丝会这样美丽。不论他曾多么爱慕她的容貌和身姿的魅力,不论它们曾多么鲜明地留在他好色的记忆中,他却从来没有想到她会这么美丽。

  她的眼光傲慢地落在门口他的身上;但是他看弗洛伦斯的时候,脸上却不可抑制地流露出一种他已掌握了新的权力的表情(尽管这种表情只是在他进去鞠躬时片刻间流露出来的);他得意地看到她畏缩地低下了眼睛,并看到伊迪丝半欠起身来迎接他。

  他很遗憾,他深深地感到悲伤;他说不出他多么不愿意来让她准备接受一件很小的事故的消息。他请求董贝夫人保持镇静。他以他神圣的正直的语言发誓,并没有什么引起惊慌的理由。只不过是董贝先生——

  弗洛伦斯突然喊叫了一声。他没有看她,只是看着伊迪丝。伊迪丝要弗洛伦斯镇静和放心。她本人并没有发出痛苦的喊声。没有,没有。

  董贝先生骑马时发生了一件意外事故。他的马滑倒了,他被摔下来了。

  弗洛伦斯发狂地高声喊道,他受了不得了的重伤,他被摔死了。

  不是。他以他的荣誉发誓,董贝先生开始被摔得不省人事,但不久就恢复了知觉,虽然确实受了伤,但没有什么危险。如果这不是实情,他这悲伤的、进来打扰的报信人就决没有勇气来到董贝夫人面前了。然而他郑重地向她保证,这是千真万确的实情。

  他说这些话的时候,仿佛是在回答伊迪丝,而不是回答弗洛伦斯,他的眼睛和微笑也紧对着伊迪丝。

  然后他告诉她,董贝先生现在躺在哪里,并请求让他动用一辆四轮马车,去把董贝先生拉回家来。

  “妈妈,”弗洛伦斯流着眼泪,结结巴巴地说道,“如果我能去的话多好!”

  卡克先生一直在看着伊迪丝,他听到这些话之后,就向伊迪丝神秘地看了一眼,轻轻地摇了摇头。他看到,她用她美丽的眼睛回答他之前,内心是怎样在斗争着,可是他逼迫着她回答——他向她示意,他要得到这个回答,否则他就要说出来,刺痛弗洛伦斯的心——,她也就把这个回答给了他。当她把眼睛转向别处的时候,他就像早上看那张图画一样看着她。

  “我奉命要求,”他说道,“新的女管家——皮普钦太太,我想是叫这名字吧——”

  什么也瞒不过他。他立刻看出,聘请皮普钦太太是董贝先生擅自决定的,这是他对他妻子的又一次怠慢。

  “可以通知她,董贝先生希望在楼下他自己的房间里把他的床准备好,因为他对这些房间比对其他房间更喜欢。我将立即回到董贝先生那里去。不需要对您说,夫人,要采取各种可能的措施,保证使他舒适,要让他得到最好的照料。请允许我再说一次,没有引起惊慌的理由。请相信我,甚至您也完全可以放心。”

  他以极为尊敬、极为谄媚的态度鞠着躬出去;他回到董贝先生的房间,并在那里安排一辆马车跟随在他后面到城里去之后,又骑上了马,慢吞吞地向城里骑去。他一路上很专心地想着心事,到了城里也是很专心地想着心事,当乘着马车回到董贝先生所在的客栈去的路途中,也还是很专心地想着心事。只有当他坐在那位先生的卧床旁边的时候,他才恢复了他平日的神态,重新想到了他的牙齿。

  薄暮的时候,董贝先生忍受着疼痛,被扶上了马车,一侧用大氅、枕头支持着,一侧由他亲信的助手陪伴他。由于他不能受到震动,他们行进的速度很慢,马的步幅只稍稍超过一英尺,所以到家的时候天已很黑了。皮普钦太太在门口迎接他;她凶狠刻薄,没有忘记秘鲁矿,家里所有的人都有理由知道这一点;当仆人们把他抬到他的房间里去的时候,她就在他们身上撒上几滴语言的酸醋,来使他们振作精神。卡克先生一直在旁照料,直到董贝先生被安全地抬到床上为止;然后,由于董贝先生除了主持他家务的杰出的恶魔外,不愿意见任何妇女,所以他再一次去拜访董贝夫人,向她报告她丈夫的状况。

  他又看到伊迪丝单独跟弗洛伦斯在一起,他又把他所有安慰的话说给伊迪丝听,仿佛她成了由于爱情极为深厚、因而忧虑重重的牺牲品似的。他是那么真诚地表达了他含着敬意的同情,因此在告别的时候,他大胆地(这时候他又向弗洛伦斯看了一眼)拉起她的手,弯下身子,用嘴唇去接触它。

  伊迪丝没有把手抽回,也没有用它去打他白嫩的脸,虽然她脸颊涨得通红,眼里冒着火星,全身是气鼓鼓的。但是当房间里只有她一个人的时候,她用手向大理石的壁炉架上打去,只一下子,手就打伤、出血了;她把手挨近炉中发光的火焰,仿佛她可以把它插进火里去烧似的。

  她忧伤而美丽地独自坐在渐渐熄灭的火焰前面,直到深夜,一边注视着朦胧出现在墙上的阴影,仿佛她的思想是有形的实物,已投射在墙上似的。在墙上闪烁着的影子不论是欺凌与侮辱的各种什么形象,也不论它们是今后可能发生的事情的凶恶预兆的各种什么形象,在她前面总有一个模糊不清的、像巨人一样的、她所愤恨的人影儿率领着它们来反对她。这个人影儿就是她的丈夫。

慕若涵

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Chapter 43
The Watches of the Night

Florence, long since awakened from her dream, mournfully observed the estrangement between her father and Edith, and saw it widen more and more, and knew that there was greater bitterness between them every day. Each day's added knowledge deepened the shade upon her love and hope, roused up the old sorrow that had slumbered for a little time, and made it even heavier to bear than it had been before.
It had been hard - how hard may none but Florence ever know! - to have the natural affection of a true and earnest nature turned to agony; and slight, or stern repulse, substituted for the tenderest protection and the dearest care. It had been hard to feel in her deep heart what she had felt, and never know the happiness of one touch of response. But it was much more hard to be compelled to doubt either her father or Edith, so affectionate and dear to her, and to think of her love for each of them, by turns, with fear, distrust, and wonder.
Yet Florence now began to do so; and the doing of it was a task imposed upon her by the very purity of her soul, as one she could not fly from. She saw her father cold and obdurate to Edith, as to her; hard, inflexible, unyielding. Could it be, she asked herself with starting tears, that her own dear mother had been made unhappy by such treatment, and had pined away and died? Then she would think how proud and stately Edith was to everyone but her, with what disdain she treated him, how distantly she kept apart from him, and what she had said on the night when they came home; and quickly it would come on Florence, almost as a crime, that she loved one who was set in opposition to her father, and that her father knowing of it, must think of her in his solitary room as the unnatural child who added this wrong to the old fault, so much wept for, of never having won his fatherly affection from her birth. The next kind word from Edith, the next kind glance, would shake these thoughts again, and make them seem like black ingratitude; for who but she had cheered the drooping heart of Florence, so lonely and so hurt, and been its best of comforters! Thus, with her gentle nature yearning to them both, feeling for the misery of both, and whispering doubts of her own duty to both, Florence in her wider and expanded love, and by the side of Edith, endured more than when she had hoarded up her undivided secret in the mournful house, and her beautiful Mama had never dawned upon it.
One exquisite unhappiness that would have far outweighed this, Florence was spared. She never had the least suspicion that Edith by her tenderness for her widened the separation from her father, or gave him new cause of dislike. If Florence had conceived the possIbility of such an effect being wrought by such a cause, what grief she would have felt, what sacrifice she would have tried to make, poor loving girl, how fast and sure her quiet passage might have been beneath it to the presence of that higher Father who does not reject his children's love, or spurn their tried and broken hearts, Heaven knows! But it was otherwise, and that was well.
No word was ever spoken between Florence and Edith now, on these subjects. Edith had said there ought to be between them, in that wise, a division and a silence like the grave itself: and Florence felt she was right'
In this state of affairs her father was brought home, suffering and disabled; and gloomily retired to his own rooms, where he was tended by servants, not approached by Edith, and had no friend or companion but Mr Carker, who withdrew near midnight.
'And nice company he is, Miss Floy,' said Susan Nipper. 'Oh, he's a precious piece of goods! If ever he wants a character don't let him come to me whatever he does, that's all I tell him.'
'Dear Susan,' urged Florence, 'don't!'
'Oh, it's very well to say "don't" Miss Floy,' returned the Nipper, much exasperated; 'but raly begging your pardon we're coming to such passes that it turns all the blood in a person's body into pins and needles, with their pints all ways. Don't mistake me, Miss Floy, I don't mean nothing again your ma-in-law who has always treated me as a lady should though she is rather high I must say not that I have any right to object to that particular, but when we come to Mrs Pipchinses and having them put over us and keeping guard at your Pa's door like crocodiles (only make us thankful that they lay no eggs!) we are a growing too outrageous!'
'Papa thinks well of Mrs Pipchin, Susan,' returned Florence, 'and has a right to choose his housekeeper, you know. Pray don't!'
'Well Miss Floy,' returned the Nipper, 'when you say don't, I never do I hope but Mrs Pipchin acts like early gooseberries upon me Miss, and nothing less.'
Susan was unusually emphatic and destitute of punctuation in her discourse on this night, which was the night of Mr Dombey's being brought home, because, having been sent downstairs by Florence to inquire after him, she had been obliged to deliver her message to her mortal enemy Mrs Pipchin; who, without carrying it in to Mr Dombey, had taken upon herself to return what Miss Nipper called a huffish answer, on her own responsibility. This, Susan Nipper construed into presumption on the part of that exemplary sufferer by the Peruvian mines, and a deed of disparagement upon her young lady, that was not to be forgiven; and so far her emphatic state was special. But she had been in a condition of greatly increased suspicion and distrust, ever since the marriage; for, like most persons of her quality of mind, who form a strong and sincere attachment to one in the different station which Florence occupied, Susan was very jealous, and her jealousy naturally attached to Edith, who divided her old empire, and came between them. Proud and glad as Susan Nipper truly was, that her young mistress should be advanced towards her proper place in the scene of her old neglect, and that she should have her father's handsome wife for her companion and protectress, she could not relinquish any part of her own dominion to the handsome wife, without a grudge and a vague feeling of ill-will, for which she did not fail to find a disinterested justification in her sharp perception of the pride and passion of the lady's character. From the background to which she had necessarily retired somewhat, since the marriage, Miss Nipper looked on, therefore, at domestic affairs in general, with a resolute conviction that no good would come of Mrs Dombey: always being very careful to publish on all possible occasions, that she had nothing to say against her.
'Susan,' said Florence, who was sitting thoughtfully at her table, 'it is very late. I shall want nothing more to-night.'
'Ah, Miss Floy!' returned the Nipper, 'I'm sure I often wish for them old times when I sat up with you hours later than this and fell asleep through being tired out when you was as broad awake as spectacles, but you've ma's-in-law to come and sit with you now Miss Floy and I'm thankful for it I'm sure. I've not a word to say against 'em.'
'I shall not forget who was my old companion when I had none, Susan,' returned Florence, gently, 'never!' And looking up, she put her arm round the neck of her humble friend, drew her face down to hers, and bidding her good-night, kissed it; which so mollified Miss Nipper, that she fell a sobbing.
'Now my dear Miss Floy, said Susan, 'let me go downstairs again and see how your Pa is, I know you're wretched about him, do let me go downstairs again and knock at his door my own self.'
'No,' said Florence, 'go to bed. We shall hear more in the morning. I will inquire myself in the morning. Mama has been down, I daresay;' Florence blushed, for she had no such hope; 'or is there now, perhaps. Good-night!'
Susan was too much softened to express her private opinion on the probability of Mrs Dombey's being in attendance on her husband, and silently withdrew. Florence left alone, soon hid her head upon her hands as she had often done in other days, and did not restrain the tears from coursing down her face. The misery of this domestic discord and unhappiness; the withered hope she cherished now, if hope it could be called, of ever being taken to her father's heart; her doubts and fears between the two; the yearning of her innocent breast to both; the heavy disappointment and regret of such an end as this, to what had been a vision of bright hope and promise to her; all crowded on her mind and made her tears flow fast. Her mother and her brother dead, her father unmoved towards her, Edith opposed to him and casting him away, but loving her, and loved by her, it seemed as if her affection could never prosper, rest where it would. That weak thought was soon hushed, but the thoughts in which it had arisen were too true and strong to be dismissed with it; and they made the night desolate.
Among such reflections there rose up, as there had risen up all day, the image of her father, wounded and in pain, alone in his own room, untended by those who should be nearest to him, and passing the tardy hours in lonely suffering. A frightened thought which made her start and clasp her hands - though it was not a new one in her mind - that he might die, and never see her or pronounce her name, thrilled her whole frame. In her agitation she thought, and trembled while she thought, of once more stealing downstairs, and venturing to his door.
She listened at her own. The house was quiet, and all the lights were out. It was a long, long time, she thought, since she used to make her nightly pilgrimages to his door! It was a long, long time, she tried to think, since she had entered his room at midnight, and he had led her back to the stair-foot!
With the same child's heart within her, as of old: even with the child's sweet timid eyes and clustering hair: Florence, as strange to her father in her early maiden bloom, as in her nursery time, crept down the staircase listening as she went, and drew near to his room. No one was stirring in the house. The door was partly open to admit air; and all was so still within, that she could hear the burning of the fire, and count the ticking of the clock that stood upon the chimney-piece.
She looked in. In that room, the housekeeper wrapped in a blanket was fast asleep in an easy chair before the fire. The doors between it and the next were partly closed, and a screen was drawn before them; but there was a light there, and it shone upon the cornice of his bed. All was so very still that she could hear from his breathing that he was asleep. This gave her courage to pass round the screen, and look into his chamber.
It was as great a start to come upon his sleeping face as if she had not expected to see it. Florence stood arrested on the spot, and if he had awakened then, must have remained there.
There was a cut upon his forehead, and they had been wetting his hair, which lay bedabbled and entangled on the pillow. One of his arms, resting outside the bed, was bandaged up, and he was very white. But it was not this, that after the first quick glance, and first assurance of his sleeping quietly, held Florence rooted to the ground. It was something very different from this, and more than this, that made him look so solemn in her eye
She had never seen his face in all her life, but there had been upon it - or she fancied so - some disturbing consciousness of her. She had never seen his face in all her life, but hope had sunk within her, and her timid glance had dropped before its stern, unloving, and repelling harshness. As she looked upon it now, she saw it, for the first time, free from the cloud that had darkened her childhood. Calm, tranquil night was reigning in its stead. He might have gone to sleep, for anything she saw there, blessing her.
Awake, unkind father! Awake, now, sullen man! The time is flitting by; the hour is coming with an angry tread. Awake!
There was no change upon his face; and as she watched it, awfully, its motionless reponse recalled the faces that were gone. So they looked, so would he; so she, his weeping child, who should say when! so all the world of love and hatred and indifference around them! When that time should come, it would not be the heavier to him, for this that she was going to do; and it might fall something lighter upon her.
She stole close to the bed, and drawing in her breath, bent down, and softly kissed him on the face, and laid her own for one brief moment by its side, and put the arm, with which she dared not touch him, round about him on the pillow.
Awake, doomed man, while she is near! The time is flitting by; the hour is coming with an angry tread; its foot is in the house. Awake!
In her mind, she prayed to God to bless her father, and to soften him towards her, if it might be so; and if not, to forgive him if he was wrong, and pardon her the prayer which almost seemed impiety. And doing so, and looking back at him with blinded eyes, and stealing timidly away, passed out of his room, and crossed the other, and was gone.
He may sleep on now. He may sleep on while he may. But let him look for that slight figure when he wakes, and find it near him when the hour is come!
Sad and grieving was the heart of Florence, as she crept upstairs. The quiet house had grown more dismal since she came down. The sleep she had been looking on, in the dead of night, had the solemnity to her of death and life in one. The secrecy and silence of her own proceeding made the night secret, silent, and oppressive. She felt unwilling, almost unable, to go on to her own chamber; and turnIng into the drawing-rooms, where the clouded moon was shining through the blinds, looked out into the empty streets.
The wind was blowing drearily. The lamps looked pale, and shook as if they were cold. There was a distant glimmer of something that was not quite darkness, rather than of light, in the sky; and foreboding night was shivering and restless, as the dying are who make a troubled end. Florence remembered how, as a watcher, by a sick-bed, she had noted this bleak time, and felt its influence, as if in some hidden natural antipathy to it; and now it was very, very gloomy.
Her Mama had not come to her room that night, which was one cause of her having sat late out of her bed. In her general uneasiness, no less than in her ardent longing to have somebody to speak to, and to break the spell of gloom and silence, Florence directed her steps towards the chamber where she slept.
The door was not fastened within, and yielded smoothly to her hesitating hand. She was surprised to find a bright light burning; still more surprised, on looking in, to see that her Mama, but partially undressed, was sitting near the ashes of the fire, which had crumbled and dropped away. Her eyes were intently bent upon the air; and in their light, and in her face, and in her form, and in the grasp with which she held the elbows of her chair as if about to start up, Florence saw such fierce emotion that it terrified her.
'Mama!' she cried, 'what is the matter?'
Edith started; looking at her with such a strange dread in her face, that Florence was more frightened than before.
'Mama!' said Florence, hurriedly advancing. 'Dear Mama! what is the matter?'
'I have not been well,' said Edith, shaking, and still looking at her in the same strange way. 'I have had had dreams, my love.'
'And not yet been to bed, Mama?'
'No,' she returned. 'Half-waking dreams.'
Her features gradually softened; and suffering Florence to come closer to her, within her embrace, she said in a tender manner, 'But what does my bird do here? What does my bird do here?'
'I have been uneasy, Mama, in not seeing you to-night, and in not knowing how Papa was; and I - '
Florence stopped there, and said no more.
'Is it late?' asked Edith, fondly putting back the curls that mingled with her own dark hair, and strayed upon her face.
'Very late. Near day.'
'Near day!' she repeated in surprise.
'Dear Mama, what have you done to your hand?' said Florence.
Edith drew it suddenly away, and, for a moment, looked at her with the same strange dread (there was a sort of wild avoidance in it) as before; but she presently said, 'Nothing, nothing. A blow.' And then she said, 'My Florence!' and then her bosom heaved, and she was weeping passionately.
'Mama!' said Florence. 'Oh Mama, what can I do, what should I do, to make us happier? Is there anything?'
'Nothing,' she replied.
'Are you sure of that? Can it never be? If I speak now of what is in my thoughts, in spite of what we have agreed,' said Florence, 'you will not blame me, will you?'
'It is useless,' she replied, 'useless. I have told you, dear, that I have had bad dreams. Nothing can change them, or prevent them coming back.'
'I do not understand,' said Florence, gazing on her agitated face which seemed to darken as she looked.
'I have dreamed,' said Edith in a low voice, 'of a pride that is all powerless for good, all powerful for evil; of a pride that has been galled and goaded, through many shameful years, and has never recoiled except upon itself; a pride that has debased its owner with the consciousness of deep humiliation, and never helped its owner boldly to resent it or avoid it, or to say, "This shall not be!" a pride that, rightly guided, might have led perhaps to better things, but which, misdirected and perverted, like all else belonging to the same possessor, has been self-contempt, mere hardihood and ruin.'
She neither looked nor spoke to Florence now, but went on as if she were alone.
'I have dreamed,' she said, 'of such indifference and callousness, arising from this self-contempt; this wretched, inefficient, miserable pride; that it has gone on with listless steps even to the altar, yielding to the old, familiar, beckoning finger, - oh mother, oh mother! - while it spurned it; and willing to be hateful to itself for once and for all, rather than to be stung daily in some new form. Mean, poor thing!'
And now with gathering and darkening emotion, she looked as she had looked when Florence entered.
'And I have dreamed,' she said, 'that in a first late effort to achieve a purpose, it has been trodden on, and trodden down by a base foot, but turns and looks upon him. I have dreamed that it is wounded, hunted, set upon by dogs, but that it stands at hay, and will not yield; no, that it cannot if it would; but that it is urged on to hate
Her clenched hand tightened on the trembling arm she had in hers, and as she looked down on the alarmed and wondering face, frown subsided. 'Oh Florence!' she said, 'I think I have been nearly mad to-night!' and humbled her proud head upon her neck and wept again.
'Don't leave me! be near me! I have no hope but in you! These words she said a score of times.
Soon she grew calmer, and was full of pity for the tears of Florence, and for her waking at such untimely hours. And the day now dawning, with folded her in her arms and laid her down upon her bed, and, not lying down herself, sat by her, and bade her try to sleep.
'For you are weary, dearest, and unhappy, and should rest.'
'I am indeed unhappy, dear Mama, tonight,' said Florence. 'But you are weary and unhappy, too.'
'Not when you lie asleep so near me, sweet.'
They kissed each other, and Florence, worn out, gradually fell into a gentle slumber; but as her eyes closed on the face beside her, it was so sad to think upon the face downstairs, that her hand drew closer to Edith for some comfort; yet, even in the act, it faltered, lest it should be deserting him. So, in her sleep, she tried to reconcile the two together, and to show them that she loved them both, but could not do it, and her waking grief was part of her dreams.
Edith, sitting by, looked down at the dark eyelashes lying wet on the flushed cheeks, and looked with gentleness and pity, for she knew the truth. But no sleep hung upon her own eyes. As the day came on she still sat watching and waking, with the placid hand in hers, and sometimes whispered, as she looked at the hushed face, 'Be near me, Florence. I have no hope but in you!'
弗洛伦斯早就从迷梦中清醒过来,伤心地注视着她父亲和伊迪丝之间的疏远,看到他们之间的鸿沟愈来愈宽阔;并知道他们之间的痛苦逐日加深。每天增添的了解,加深了笼罩在她的爱与希望之上的阴影,并唤醒了入睡不久的旧日的悲哀,使它甚至比过去更为沉重了。
真诚的、恳切的、出乎天性的亲情变成了痛苦,冷淡的忽视或严厉的拒绝代替了亲切的保护与慈爱的关怀,这曾经是难受的——没有任何人,只有弗洛伦斯才知道这是多么难受!——在内心深处感受她曾经感受过的感情,而从来不曾享受过得到回答的幸福,这曾经是难受的。但是现在被迫地怀疑她的父亲或怀疑对她那么慈爱、亲切的伊迪丝,并怀着恐惧、不信任和纳闷的心情,交替地想着她对他们两人每个人的爱,这是更为难受的。
然而弗洛伦斯现在开始这样做了;这是她的纯洁的心灵强加给她的一项苦役,这是她所无法回避的。她看到父亲就像对待她一样,冷淡地、固执地对待伊迪丝,严酷无情,毫不妥协,决不让步。她含着眼泪问她自己:她的亲母亲是不是可能就是由于这样的对待而过着不幸福的生活,消瘦下去,最后死去的呢?然后她想到伊迪丝除了对她一个人之外,是多么高傲地、威严地对待每一个人,想到她是以多么轻蔑的态度对待他,她是多么远远地避开他,还想到她回家来的那天夜里所说过的话。弗洛伦斯突然间感到她犯了罪,因为她想到,她爱了一位反对她父亲的人;因为她想到,她父亲在寂寞的房间中知道这一点,一定会把她看成一个违反常情的女儿;这个女儿从出生之后从没有博得过他的父爱,如今除了这个她曾为它哭泣过多少次的老的过错之外,她又犯了一个新的错误了。下一次遇到伊迪丝时,她的第一句亲切的话语,第一道亲切的眼光又会动摇她的这些思想,使它们仿佛成为邪恶的忘恩负义;因为除了她,还有谁曾经使那么孤独那么痛苦的弗洛伦斯的消沉不振的心快活起来,成为它最好的安慰者呢?因此,弗洛伦斯现在不断地向往着他们两人,感受着他们两人的痛苦,暗中怀疑着她对他们两人所负的责任;在这样的情况下,当她怀着更宽广的、更扩展的爱,坐在伊迪丝的身旁时,她忍受着的痛苦要比过去她把她整个的秘密保藏在她悲哀的住宅中、她美丽的妈妈还没有到这里来时更大。
一个远远超过这个痛苦的非常的不幸,弗洛伦斯幸免了。她从来不曾怀疑过:伊迪丝对她的亲热会扩大她和她父亲之间的距离,或者会给他提供讨厌她的新的理由。如果弗洛伦斯设想过这样的可能性的话,那么她将会感到什么样的悲痛,她将会设法作出什么样的牺牲,可爱而又可怜的女孩子,她将会多么迅速、多么满怀信心地平平静静地走到那位更加崇高的父亲①前面去(这位父亲是不会拒绝他的孩子们的爱的,是不会摒弃他们的经过考验的、破碎了的心的),这一切只有上天才知道!可是情形并不是这样的,这很好。
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①指上帝。
现在弗洛伦斯与伊迪丝在这些问题上一句话也没有交谈过。伊迪丝曾经说过,在这方面,在她们之间应当有一道像坟墓一般的深沟和沉默;弗洛伦斯觉得她是对的。
就是在这样的情况下,她的父亲被抬回家来的;他忍受着痛苦,身体失去了行动的能力,忧闷不乐地隐居在他自己的房间中;仆人们在那里服侍他,但伊迪丝却没有到那里去看望过他。除了卡克先生之外,他没有别的朋友或伴侣。卡克先生在将近午夜的时候离开了。
“他是一位好同伴,弗洛伊小姐,”苏珊•尼珀说道,“啊,他是个了不起的宝贝!可是如果他什么时候需要一份品德推荐书的话,那么请他别来找我,这就是我要跟他说的一切。”
“亲爱的苏珊,”弗洛伦斯劝告道,“别说了!”
“啊,说声‘别说了’倒是很容易,弗洛伊小姐,”尼珀十分恼怒地回答道,“可是请原谅,我们的情况糟糕透顶,它使一个人身上的血都要变成带尖刺的别针和缝衣针了。请别误会我的意思,弗洛伊小姐,我这么说并不是要反对您的后妈,您的后妈总是以她贵夫人恰当的身份对待我,不过我必须说,她架子很大,虽然我没有权利反对这一点,但是当我们一提起这些个皮普钦太太,提起她们向我们发号施令,提起她们像鳄鱼一样在您爸爸门口守卫(谢天谢地她们幸好没有下蛋!),我们可真觉得太无法容忍下去了!”
“爸爸认为皮普钦太太不错,苏珊,”弗洛伦斯回答道,“您知道,他有权挑选他的女管家。请别说了!”
“唔弗洛伊小姐,”尼珀回答道,“当您对我说别说了,我希望我决不再说了,可是皮普钦太太对待我蛮横无礼,就像是没有成熟的醋栗①一样,小姐,一点也不差。”
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①没有成熟的醋栗:英国成语,指没有生活经验,浑然无知等。
在董贝先生抬回家来的这个夜晚,苏珊说话的时候异乎寻常地激动,比往常更缺少标点符号,这是因为当弗洛伦斯打发她下楼去打听他的健康情况时,她不得不向她不共戴天的敌人转达她的口讯;皮普钦太太没有把口讯捎进去让董贝先生知道,而是由她擅自作了一个尼珀姑娘称为傲慢无礼的回答。苏珊•尼珀把这解释为他们秘鲁矿井受害者的专横跋扈和一种不可饶恕的、轻视她小姐的行为;这可以部分说明她之所以格外激动的原因。不过自从董贝先生结婚以后,她的怀疑与不信任是大大地增大了,因为就像她那样性情的大多数人(她们对于一个像弗洛伦斯那样有着不同身份的人是怀着强烈的、真诚的感情的)一样,苏珊是很妒嫉的,她的妒嫉自然是针对着分割了她原先的帝国、插到她们中间来的伊迪丝。苏珊•尼珀看到她的年轻的女主人在她过去受到冷落的家中提高到适当的地位,看到她有她父亲漂亮的妻子当她的伴侣和保护人,这些确实使她感到自豪和高兴,可是她却不能把她的主权的任何一部分毫无怨恨、毫无敌意地让给这位漂亮的夫人,而且她还不难为这找到没有私心的正当理由,因为她敏锐地看出这位夫人的高傲与易怒的性格。所以,尼珀姑娘在董贝先生结婚以后不得不后退一步,从新的背景来观察家庭情况时,坚决相信:董贝夫人不会带来什么好处,可是她在一切可能的场合下总是很谨慎地表示,她没有什么反对她的话好说的。
“苏珊,”弗洛伦斯沉思地坐在桌旁,说道,“现在很晚了,今天我不再需要别的了。”
“唉,弗洛伊小姐,”尼珀回答道,“说实话,我时常希望回到过去的那段时光,那时候我跟您几个钟头坐在一起,坐得比现在还晚,我都累得睡着了,而您却像眼镜一样清醒,从来没有合过一下眼睛,但是现在您的后妈要来和您一起坐着了,弗洛伊小姐,说实话,我对这谢天谢地,我一句反对她的话也没有。”
“我不会忘记,在我没有朋友的时候,谁是我的老朋友,苏珊,”弗洛伦斯温柔地说道,“我永远也不会忘记!”然后她抬起眼睛,用胳膊搂着她的地位低微的朋友的脖子,把她的脸拉下来贴着她的脸,吻了吻,祝她晚安,这使尼珀姑娘感动得抽抽搭搭地哭了起来。
“我亲爱的弗洛伊小姐,”苏珊说道,“现在请允许我再下楼去看看您的爸爸怎样了,我知道您为他非常忧虑不安,请允许我再下楼去,我自己去敲他的门。”
“不,”弗洛伦斯说道,“睡觉去吧。明天早上我们将会听到更多的消息。到早上,我自己来打听。妈妈想必一直在楼下,”弗洛伦斯脸红了,因为她并没有抱这样的希望;“或者她可能现在就在那里。晚安!”
苏珊的心情已经变得十分温柔,所以对董贝夫人是不是可能在照料她的丈夫,她不想说出她的看法,于是就一声不响地离开了。当弗洛伦斯独自留下的时候,她立刻像在其他日子里时常做的那样,用手捂着脸,让眼泪任情地流下来。家庭不和睦和不幸福带来了不幸;她曾经怀着希望(如果这可以称为希望的话),有朝一日能赢得她父亲的喜爱,如今这希望已经破灭了;她对她父亲和伊迪丝之间的关系怀着怀疑与恐惧;她纯洁的心胸同时向往着他们两人;过去在她心中曾经展现过一幅光明的希望与前途的美景,如今这样的结局又在她心中产生了沉痛的失望与惋惜;所有这一切都一齐涌集到她的心头,使她的眼泪簌簌地流了下来。她的母亲和弟弟死了;她的父亲对她漠不关心;伊迪丝反对和抛弃她的父亲,但却爱她并被她所爱;她觉得,她的爱不论落在什么地方,似乎都不会给她带来幸福。这个淡弱的思想很快就被她压了下去,但是产生这个思想的其它思想是太真实、太强烈了,要驱除它们是不可能的,这些思想使夜变得凄凉。
她父亲的形象在这些思念中间出现了,就像整天都曾出现过的那样;他受了伤,身上疼痛,现在躺在他自己的房间里,在孤独寂寞中,忍受着痛苦,度过缓慢的时光;那些应该是对他最亲近的人却没有他身旁照料他。一个使她害怕的思想——他可能死去,再也看不到她,再也不喊她的名字了——使她惊惧,并使她把手紧紧握着;虽然它并不是第一次出现在她心中,但它使她浑身震颤。她在激动的心情中想到再一次偷偷地跑下楼去,并大胆地走到他的门口,当她想到这一点的时候,她哆嗦着。
她在她自己的房间门口听着。公馆里静悄悄的,所有的灯光都熄灭了。她想到,自从她过去常到他房门口去作夜间的参拜以来,到现在已经是很久很久的时间了!她又想到,自从她在半夜里走进他的房间,他把她送到楼梯底以来,到现在已经是很久很久的时间了!
弗洛伦斯现在是豆蔻年华的美丽少女,但是与她父亲仍和幼儿时代一样生疏;现在她怀着一颗和过去同样的孩子的心,甚至带着同一双孩子的可爱的、胆怯的眼睛,披着同样散开的头发,边走边听,偷偷地下了楼,走近他的房间。公馆中没有一个人在走动。为了让空气进去,房门半开着;房间里面十分寂静,她可以听到炉火的燃烧声,还可以数出壁炉架上时钟的嘀嗒声。
她往里面探望。房间里,女管家用一条毯子裹着身子,正在壁炉前的一张安乐椅里熟睡。隔壁房间的门半掩着,门前立着一座屏风;可是那里有灯光,照射在他的床的靠背上。一切都很寂静,她可以从他的呼吸声中知道他睡着了。这使她鼓起勇气,绕过屏风,往他的卧室里探望。
她看到那睡着的脸孔时,大大地吃了一惊,仿佛她事前没有预料到会看到它似的。弗洛伦斯被吸引住,就地站在那里一动不动;如果他这时醒过来的话,那么她也一定会继续站在那里的。
他的前额上有一个伤口,他们把他的头发沾湿了,头发肮脏、错乱地披散在枕头上。他的一条胳膊搁在被子外面,用绷带包扎着。他的脸色十分苍白。可是,弗洛伦斯迅速地看了他一眼,确信他安静地睡着之后,使她站着不动的,并不是这些景象。在她的眼中,使他看去那么庄严的,是与这完全不同、比这具有更多意义的某种东西。
她一生中没有一次看到他的脸时,他的脸上不是因为知道有她在跟前而表露出(或是她想象那样表露出)烦恼不安的神色的;她一生中没有一次看到他的脸时,她的希望不在心中消沉的;在他脸孔那严厉的、毫无爱意的、令人望而生畏的生硬神色面前,她的胆怯的眼光没有一次不低垂下来的。现在当她看着他的时候,她第一次看到他的脸上不再笼罩着那块使她的童年暗淡无光的阴云。寂静的、安宁的夜代替了它。她看到这脸上的一切表情,心想,他可能已睡去了,同时还在祝福她呢。
醒来吧,冷酷的父亲!醒来吧,怏怏不乐的人!时间正在飞逝,钟点正踏着怒气冲冲的步伐来临了。醒来吧!
他的脸上没有变化;当她怀着敬畏的心情注视着它的时候,它那一动不动的、宁静的神色使她回想起那些已经消逝了的脸孔。那些脸孔看去全都是这样平静的。他将会这样平静的;她——他的哭泣着的女儿——也将会这样平静的,谁知道是在什么时候!周围世界上一切爱,一切恨,一切冷淡,全都会这样平静的!如果她做了她正想要去做的事情,那么,当那个时候来到的时候,他将不会感到沉重;对她来说,那个时候也将会是比较轻松的。
她悄悄地走近床边,吸进一口气,同时弯下身子,轻轻地吻了吻他的脸,把她自己的脸在他的脸旁边贴了短短的片刻时间,然后用胳膊环抱着他的枕头,因为她不敢用胳膊去碰到他。
醒来吧,命中注定难免一死的人,当她就在近旁的时候!时间在飞逝,钟点正踏着怒气冲冲的步伐临近了;它的脚已跨进屋里来了。醒来吧!
她在心中祈祷上帝保佑他的父亲,如果可能的话,那么请让他对她的态度温和一些,否则,如果他错了的话,那么就请宽恕他,并原谅她作了这几乎好像是虔诚的祷告。她作了这样的祷告之后,泪眼模糊地回头看了看他,胆怯地、悄悄地向门口走去,走出了他的卧室,穿过另一间房间,离开了。
他现在可以继续睡下去。当他可以睡的时候,他可以继续睡下去。可是当他醒来的时候,让他找一下这个身材苗条的人儿吧!当钟点来到的时候,让他看到她在近旁吧!
当弗洛伦斯偷偷地上楼去的时候,她的心是悲哀和痛苦的。从她到楼下去的时候起,这座寂静的房屋变得更为凄凉了。在这死一般万籁无声的深夜里,在她眼里,她所观察着的睡眠同时具有死和生的庄严。由于她自己行动的神秘性和寂静无声,夜也变得神秘、寂静、沉闷。她不愿意,也感到几乎不能够回到她自己的卧室里去,所以她就转到客厅里;被云遮蔽了的月亮正透过百叶窗把亮光照射进来,她在那里望着外面空荡荡的街道。
风凄凉地吹着。路灯看去是暗淡的,仿佛由于寒冷而颤抖着。在遥远的天空中有什么东西在闪闪烁烁,乍明乍灭,那不是完全黑暗,但也不是亮光;预感凶险的夜颤抖着,辗转不安,就像垂死的人在作最后的挣扎一样。弗洛伦斯记起,当她过去守护在病床旁边的时候,她曾怎样注意到这个凄凉的时刻,并感觉到它的影响,仿佛暗暗地、自然而然地对它感到嫌恶似的。现在它是很令人沮丧的。
这天夜里,她的妈妈没有到她的房间里来,这是她在外面坐得很晚的一个原因。由于心情不安,也由于强烈地渴望跟什么人谈谈话,来摆脱郁闷和寂静气氛的压迫,她就朝着她妈妈睡觉的那个房间走去。
房门里面没有锁上,她的手迟疑不决地碰了碰它,它就平静地开了。她惊奇地看到里面还有明亮的灯光;当她往里面探望的时候,她更惊奇地看到她的妈妈只脱去了一部分衣服,正坐在即将熄灭的壁炉旁边;炉子里的煤火已化为碎屑和灰烬了。她的眼睛全神贯注地看着空中;在她的眼光中,在她的脸上,在她的身姿中,在她紧紧抓住椅臂、仿佛就要跳起来的动作中,流露出十分强烈的情绪,弗洛伦斯看见了感到恐怖。
“妈妈!”她喊道,“怎么了?”
伊迪丝吃了一惊;她脸上露出一种十分奇怪的恐惧的神色,望着弗洛伦斯,弗洛伦斯感到更加恐怖。
“妈妈!”弗洛伦斯急忙走上前去,说道,“亲爱的妈妈,怎么了?”
“我感到不舒服,”伊迪丝颤抖着说道,同时用同样奇怪的神色望着她,“我做了一些恶梦,我亲爱的。”
“还没有上床睡觉吗,妈妈?”
“没有,”她回答道,“我做了一些半醒着的梦。”
她的脸色逐渐和缓下来;她让弗洛伦斯更靠近一些,拥抱着她,亲切地对她说道。“可是我的小鸟在这里做什么呢?
我的小鸟在这里做什么呢?”
“妈妈,今天夜里我没有见到你,也不知道爸爸怎样了,心里感到不安;我——”
弗洛伦斯停住了,不再往下说。
“现在晚了吗?”伊迪丝问道,一边喜爱地把弗洛伦斯那些跟她自己的黑发混合在一起、落在她脸上的卷发梳理回去。
“很晚了,很快就要天亮了。”
“很快就要天亮了!”她惊奇地重复着。
“亲爱的妈妈,你的手怎么了?”弗洛伦斯问道。
伊迪丝迅速地把手缩回去,在片刻间又像先前一样露出那同样奇怪的恐惧的神色,望着她,在这神色中似乎有一种想要隐藏起来不让人看见的极为强烈的愿望,可是她立刻又说道,“没有什么,没有什么,打了一下打伤了。”接着她说道,“我的弗洛伦斯!”然后她胸脯起伏着,纵情大哭起来。
“妈妈!”弗洛伦斯说道,“啊妈妈,我能做什么,我应当做什么,使我们更幸福些?有什么事可以做的吗?”
“没有什么事好做,”她回答道。
“你真相信那样吗?难道这是永远做不到的吗?如果现在我不顾我们达成的协议,把我头脑里所想的说出来,你不会责怪我吗?”弗洛伦斯问道。
“这没有用,”她回答道,“没有用。我已经告诉你,亲爱的,我做了一些恶梦。没有什么能改变它们或防止它们重现。”
“我不明白,”弗洛伦斯注视着她的激动的脸,说道;当她望着它的时候,它似乎阴沉下来了。
“我梦见了一种高傲,”伊迪丝低声说道,“它对于善是毫无能力的,但对于恶却无所不能;我梦见了一种高傲,它在许多可耻的年月中被鼓励着和怂恿着;它从不退缩,除非是退缩到它本身;我梦见了一种高傲,它以一种深深的羞辱感贬损了它的主人,却从来不帮助它的主人大胆地去憎恨这种羞辱或者避开它,或者说,‘不要这样子!’我梦见了一种高傲,如果正确地引导它,它也许会导致较好的结果,可是如果引导错了或误用了,就像这同一位主人所拥有的其他品质的情形一样,那就只能是导致自我轻蔑、狂妄直至毁灭。”
现在她既不看着弗洛伦斯,也不对着她讲话,而是继续这样讲下去,仿佛房间里就只有她一个人一样。
“我梦见了从这种自我轻蔑所产生的和从这种不幸的、无能为力的、可怜的高傲所产生的这样一种漠不关心和冷酷无情,它使得它的主人迈着无精打采的步子,甚至走向圣坛,服从那古老的、熟悉的、指挥的手指——唉,妈妈呀,唉,妈妈呀!——虽然它实际上是唾弃这手指的;而且愿意一劳永逸地憎恨它自己,而不愿意每天忍受新形式的痛苦。卑贱的、可怜的人儿啊!”
这时,她就像弗洛伦斯刚进来的时候那样,怀着激动的、阴沉的情绪看着。
“我还梦见,”她说道,“这个人作了为时已晚的努力去达到一个目的时,她被一只卑劣的脚践踏下去,可是她抬起头来看看践踏她的人。我梦见,她被狗咬伤、追赶、袭击,可是当她被逼得走投无路的时候,她不愿意屈服;是的,只要她不想屈服,她就不能屈服,而是有什么东西驱策着她去恨他,反对他,向他挑战!”
她的紧握着的手把她怀中那只颤抖的胳膊抱得更紧;当她向下看到那张受惊的、困惑的脸时,她自己的脸色平静下来了。“啊,弗洛伦斯!”她说道,“我想我今天夜里近乎发疯了!”接着,她把高傲的头温顺地低垂到她的胸前,又哭了起来。
“不要离开我!在我的近旁吧!我没有别的希望,我的一切希望都寄托在你身上了!”
不久她安静下来一些,对流着眼泪和这么晚还没有去睡觉的弗洛伦斯充满了怜悯。这时天已破晓,伊迪丝用胳膊抱着她,把她放在自己的床上;她自己没有躺下,而是坐在她的身旁,叮嘱她睡去。
“我最亲爱的,你累了,又不快活,应当休息了。”
“亲爱的妈妈,今天夜里我确实不快活,”弗洛伦斯说道,“但是你也累了,也不快活。”
“亲爱的,当你这么挨近我的身旁睡去的时候,我就不会不快活了。”
她们相互接吻;弗洛伦斯精疲力竭,渐渐地进入了温柔的睡乡;但是当她的眼睛闭上,看不到在她身旁的那张脸的时候,她是多么悲伤地想到了楼下的那张脸,因此她把手往伊迪丝那里伸近一点,以便得到一些安慰;可是甚至在这样做的时候,她的动作也是迟疑不决的,唯恐这会背弃他。就这样,她在睡眠中设法使他们两人重新和好,并向他们表示,她同时爱他们两人,但是她不能做到这一点,她醒着时的痛苦成了她的梦的一部分。
伊迪丝坐在旁边,往下看着那乌黑的、潮湿的眼睫毛披垂在发红的脸颊上,而且是温柔地、怜悯地看着,因为她知道真情。可是她自己的眼睛还没有因为想睡而闭上。天愈来愈亮,她却仍旧坐在那里,手中拉着那只宁静的手,守护着,醒着;当她看着那张悄静无声的脸时,她不时低声说道,“在我的近旁吧,弗洛伦斯,我没有别的希望,我的一切希望都寄托在你身上了!”
慕若涵

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Chapter 44
A Separation

With the day, though not so early as the sun, uprose Miss Susan Nipper. There was a heaviness in this young maiden's exceedingly sharp black eyes, that abated somewhat of their sparkling, and suggested - which was not their usual character - the possibility of their being sometimes shut. There was likewise a swollen look about them, as if they had been crying over-night. But the Nipper, so far from being cast down, was singularly brisk and bold, and all her energies appeared to be braced up for some great feat. This was noticeable even in her dress, which was much more tight and trim than usual; and in occasional twitches of her head as she went about the house, which were mightily expressive of determination.
In a word, she had formed a determination, and an aspiring one: it being nothing less than this - to penetrate to Mr Dombey's presence, and have speech of that gentleman alone. 'I have often said I would,' she remarked, in a threatening manner, to herself, that morning, with many twitches of her head, 'and now I will!'
Spurring herself on to the accomplishment of this desperate design, with a sharpness that was peculiar to herself, Susan Nipper haunted the hall and staircase during the whole forenoon, without finding a favourable opportunity for the assault. Not at all baffled by this discomfiture, which indeed had a stimulating effect, and put her on her mettle, she diminished nothing of her vigilance; and at last discovered, towards evening, that her sworn foe Mrs Pipchin, under pretence of having sat up all night, was dozing in her own room, and that Mr Dombey was lying on his sofa, unattended.
With a twitch - not of her head merely, this time, but of her whole self - the Nipper went on tiptoe to Mr Dombey's door, and knocked. 'Come in!' said Mr Dombey. Susan encouraged herself with a final twitch, and went in.
Mr Dombey, who was eyeing the fire, gave an amazed look at his visitor, and raised himself a little on his arm. The Nipper dropped a curtsey.
'What do you want?' said Mr Dombey.
'If you please, Sir, I wish to speak to you,' said Susan.
Mr Dombey moved his lips as if he were repeating the words, but he seemed so lost in astonishment at the presumption of the young woman as to be incapable of giving them utterance.
'I have been in your service, Sir,' said Susan Nipper, with her usual rapidity, 'now twelve 'year a waiting on Miss Floy my own young lady who couldn't speak plain when I first come here and I was old in this house when Mrs Richards was new, I may not be Meethosalem, but I am not a child in arms.'
Mr Dombey, raised upon his arm and looking at her, offered no comment on this preparatory statement of fact.
'There never was a dearer or a blesseder young lady than is my young lady, Sir,' said Susan, 'and I ought to know a great deal better than some for I have seen her in her grief and I have seen her in her joy (there's not been much of it) and I have seen her with her brother and I have seen her in her loneliness and some have never seen her, and I say to some and all - I do!' and here the black-eyed shook her head, and slightly stamped her foot; 'that she's the blessedest and dearest angel is Miss Floy that ever drew the breath of life, the more that I was torn to pieces Sir the more I'd say it though I may not be a Fox's Martyr..'
Mr Dombey turned yet paler than his fall had made him, with indignation and astonishment; and kept his eyes upon the speaker as if he accused them, and his ears too, of playing him false.
'No one could be anything but true and faithful to Miss Floy, Sir,' pursued Susan, 'and I take no merit for my service of twelve year, for I love her - yes, I say to some and all I do!' - and here the black-eyed shook her head again, and slightly stamped her foot again, and checked a sob; 'but true and faithful service gives me right to speak I hope, and speak I must and will now, right or wrong.
'What do you mean, woman?' said Mr Dombey, glaring at her. 'How do you dare?'
'What I mean, Sir, is to speak respectful and without offence, but out, and how I dare I know not but I do!'said Susan. 'Oh! you don't know my young lady Sir you don't indeed, you'd never know so little of her, if you did.'
Mr Dombey, in a fury, put his hand out for the bell-rope; but there was no bell-rope on that side of the fire, and he could not rise and cross to the other without assistance. The quick eye of the Nipper detected his helplessness immediately, and now, as she afterwards observed, she felt she had got him.
'Miss Floy,' said Susan Nipper, 'is the most devoted and most patient and most dutiful and beautiful of daughters, there ain't no gentleman, no Sir, though as great and rich as all the greatest and richest of England put together, but might be proud of her and would and ought. If he knew her value right, he'd rather lose his greatness and his fortune piece by piece and beg his way in rags from door to door, I say to some and all, he would!' cried Susan Nipper, bursting into tears, 'than bring the sorrow on her tender heart that I have seen it suffer in this house!'
'Woman,' cried Mr Dombey, 'leave the room.
'Begging your pardon, not even if I am to leave the situation, Sir,' replied the steadfast Nipper, 'in which I have been so many years and seen so much - although I hope you'd never have the heart to send me from Miss Floy for such a cause - will I go now till I have said the rest, I may not be a Indian widow Sir and I am not and I would not so become but if I once made up my mind to burn myself alive, I'd do it! And I've made my mind up to go on.'
Which was rendered no less clear by the expression of Susan Nipper's countenance, than by her words.
'There ain't a person in your service, Sir,' pursued the black-eyed, 'that has always stood more in awe of you than me and you may think how true it is when I make so bold as say that I have hundreds and hundreds of times thought of speaking to you and never been able to make my mind up to it till last night, but last night decided of me.'
Mr Dombey, in a paroxysm of rage, made another grasp at the bell-rope that was not there, and, in its absence, pulled his hair rather than nothing.
'I have seen,' said Susan Nipper, 'Miss Floy strive and strive when nothing but a child so sweet and patient that the best of women might have copied from her, I've seen her sitting nights together half the night through to help her delicate brother with his learning, I've seen her helping him and watching him at other times - some well know when - I've seen her, with no encouragement and no help, grow up to be a lady, thank God! that is the grace and pride of every company she goes in, and I've always seen her cruelly neglected and keenly feeling of it - I say to some and all, I have! - and never said one word, but ordering one's self lowly and reverently towards one's betters, is not to be a worshipper of graven images, and I will and must speak!'
'Is there anybody there?' cried Mr Dombey, calling out. 'Where are the men? where are the women? Is there no one there?'
'I left my dear young lady out of bed late last night,' said Susan, nothing checked, 'and I knew why, for you was ill Sir and she didn't know how ill and that was enough to make her wretched as I saw it did. I may not be a Peacock; but I have my eyes - and I sat up a little in my own room thinking she might be lonesome and might want me, and I saw her steal downstairs and come to this door as if it was a guilty thing to look at her own Pa, and then steal back again and go into them lonely drawing-rooms, a-crying so, that I could hardly bear to hear it. I can not bear to hear it,' said Susan Nipper, wiping her black eyes, and fixing them undauntingly on Mr Dombey's infuriated face. 'It's not the first time I have heard it, not by many and many a time you don't know your own daughter, Sir, you don't know what you're doing, Sir, I say to some and all,' cried Susan Nipper, in a final burst, 'that it's a sinful shame!'
'Why, hoity toity!' cried the voice of Mrs Pipchin, as the black bombazeen garments of that fair Peruvian Miner swept into the room. 'What's this, indeed?'
Susan favoured Mrs Pipchin with a look she had invented expressly for her when they first became acquainted, and resigned the reply to Mr Dombey.
'What's this?' repeated Mr Dombey, almost foaming. 'What's this, Madam? You who are at the head of this household, and bound to keep it in order, have reason to inquire. Do you know this woman?'
'I know very little good of her, Sir,' croaked Mrs Pipchin. 'How dare you come here, you hussy? Go along with you!'
But the inflexible Nipper, merely honouring Mrs Pipchin with another look, remained.
'Do you call it managing this establishment, Madam,' said Mr Dombey, 'to leave a person like this at liberty to come and talk to me! A gentleman - in his own house - in his own room - assailed with the impertinences of women-servants!'
'Well, Sir,' returned Mrs Pipchin, with vengeance in her hard grey eye, 'I exceedingly deplore it; nothing can be more irregular; nothing can be more out of all bounds and reason; but I regret to say, Sir, that this young woman is quite beyond control. She has been spoiled by Miss Dombey, and is amenable to nobody. You know you're not,' said Mrs Pipchin, sharply, and shaking her head at Susan Nipper. 'For shame, you hussy! Go along with you!'
'If you find people in my service who are not to be controlled, Mrs Pipchin,' said Mr Dombey, turning back towards the fire, 'you know what to do with them, I presume. You know what you are here for? Take her away!'
'Sir, I know what to do,' retorted Mrs Pipchin, 'and of course shall do it' Susan Nipper,' snapping her up particularly short, 'a month's warning from this hour.'
'Oh indeed!' cried Susan, loftily.
'Yes,' returned Mrs Pipchin, 'and don't smile at me, you minx, or I'll know the reason why! Go along with you this minute!'
'I intend to go this minute, you may rely upon it,' said the voluble Nipper. 'I have been in this house waiting on my young lady a dozen year and I won't stop in it one hour under notice from a person owning to the name of Pipchin trust me, Mrs P.'
'A good riddance of bad rubbish!' said that wrathful old lady. 'Get along with you, or I'll have you carried out!'
'My comfort is,' said Susan, looking back at Mr Dombey, 'that I have told a piece of truth this day which ought to have been told long before and can't be told too often or too plain and that no amount of Pipchinses - I hope the number of 'em mayn't be great' (here Mrs Pipchin uttered a very sharp 'Go along with you!' and Miss Nipper repeated the look) 'can unsay what I have said, though they gave a whole year full of warnings beginning at ten o'clock in the forenoon and never leaving off till twelve at night and died of the exhaustion which would be a Jubilee!'
With these words, Miss Nipper preceded her foe out of the room; and walking upstairs to her own apartments in great state, to the choking exasperation of the ireful Pipchin, sat down among her boxes and began to cry.
From this soft mood she was soon aroused, with a very wholesome and refreshing effect, by the voice of Mrs Pipchin outside the door.
'Does that bold-faced slut,' said the fell Pipchin, 'intend to take her warning, or does she not?'
Miss Nipper replied from within that the person described did not inhabit that part of the house, but that her name was Pipchin, and she was to be found in the housekeeper's room.
'You saucy baggage!' retorted Mrs Pipchin, rattling at the handle of the door. 'Go along with you this minute. Pack up your things directly! How dare you talk in this way to a gentle-woman who has seen better days?'
To which Miss Nipper rejoined from her castle, that she pitied the better days that had seen Mrs Pipchin; and that for her part she considered the worst days in the year to be about that lady's mark, except that they were much too good for her.
'But you needn't trouble yourself to make a noise at my door,' said Susan Nipper, 'nor to contaminate the key-hole with your eye, I'm packing up and going you may take your affidavit.'
The Dowager expressed her lively satisfaction at this intelligence, and with some general opinions upon young hussies as a race, and especially upon their demerits after being spoiled by Miss Dombey, withdrew to prepare the Nipper~s wages. Susan then bestirred herself to get her trunks in order, that she might take an immediate and dignified departure; sobbing heartily all the time, as she thought of Florence.
The object of her regret was not long in coming to her, for the news soon spread over the house that Susan Nipper had had a disturbance with Mrs Pipchin, and that they had both appealed to Mr Dombey, and that there had been an unprecedented piece of work in Mr Dombey's room, and that Susan was going. The latter part of this confused rumour, Florence found to be so correct, that Susan had locked the last trunk and was sitting upon it with her bonnet on, when she came into her room.
'Susan!' cried Florence. 'Going to leave me! You!'
'Oh for goodness gracious sake, Miss Floy,' said Susan, sobbing, 'don't speak a word to me or I shall demean myself before them' Pipchinses, and I wouldn't have 'em see me cry Miss Floy for worlds!'
'Susan!' said Florence. 'My dear girl, my old friend! What shall I do without you! Can you bear to go away so?'
'No-n-o-o, my darling dear Miss Floy, I can't indeed,' sobbed Susan. 'But it can't be helped, I've done my duty' Miss, I have indeed. It's no fault of mine. I am quite resigned. I couldn't stay my month or I could never leave you then my darling and I must at last as well as at first, don't speak to me Miss Floy, for though I'm pretty firm I'm not a marble doorpost, my own dear.'
'What is it? Why is it?' said Florence, 'Won't you tell me?' For Susan was shaking her head.
'No-n-no, my darling,' returned Susan. 'Don't ask me, for I mustn't, and whatever you do don't put in a word for me to stop, for it couldn't be and you'd only wrong yourself, and so God bless you my own precious and forgive me any harm I have done, or any temper I have showed in all these many years!'
With which entreaty, very heartily delivered, Susan hugged her mistress in her arms.
'My darling there's a many that may come to serve you and be glad to serve you and who'll serve you well and true,' said Susan, 'but there can't be one who'll serve you so affectionate as me or love you half as dearly, that's my comfort' Good-bye, sweet Miss Floy!'
'Where will you go, Susan?' asked her weeping mistress.
'I've got a brother down in the country Miss - a farmer in Essex said the heart-broken Nipper, 'that keeps ever so many co-o-ows and pigs and I shall go down there by the coach and sto-op with him, and don't mind me, for I've got money in the Savings Banks my dear, and needn't take another service just yet, which I couldn't, couldn't, couldn't do, my heart's own mistress!' Susan finished with a burst of sorrow, which was opportunely broken by the voice of Mrs Pipchin talking downstairs; on hearing which, she dried her red and swollen eyes, and made a melancholy feint of calling jauntily to Mr Towlinson to fetch a cab and carry down her boxes.
Florence, pale and hurried and distressed, but withheld from useless interference even here, by her dread of causing any new division between her father and his wife (whose stern, indignant face had been a warning to her a few moments since), and by her apprehension of being in some way unconsciously connected already with the dismissal of her old servant and friend, followed, weeping, downstairs to Edith's dressing-room, whither Susan betook herself to make her parting curtsey.
'Now, here's the cab, and here's the boxes, get along with you, do!' said Mrs Pipchin, presenting herself at the same moment. 'I beg your pardon, Ma'am, but Mr Dombey's orders are imperative.'
Edith, sitting under the hands of her maid - she was going out to dinner - preserved her haughty face, and took not the least notice.
'There's your money,' said Mrs Pipchin, who in pursuance of her system, and in recollection of the Mines, was accustomed to rout the servants about, as she had routed her young Brighton boarders; to the everlasting acidulation of Master Bitherstone, 'and the sooner this house sees your back the better.
Susan had no spirits even for the look that belonged to Ma Pipchin by right; so she dropped her curtsey to Mrs Dombey (who inclined her head without one word, and whose eye avoided everyone but Florence), and gave one last parting hug to her young mistress, and received her parting embrace in return. Poor Susan's face at this crisis, in the intensity of her feelings and the determined suffocation of her sobs, lest one should become audible and be a triumph to Mrs Pipchin, presented a series of the most extraordinary physiognomical phenomena ever witnessed.
'I beg your pardon, Miss, I'm sure,' said Towlinson, outside the door with the boxes, addressing Florence, 'but Mr Toots is in the drawing-room, and sends his compliments, and begs to know how Diogenes and Master is.'
Quick as thought, Florence glided out and hastened downstairs, where Mr Toots, in the most splendid vestments, was breathing very hard with doubt and agitation on the subject of her coming.
'Oh, how de do, Miss Dombey,' said Mr Toots, 'God bless my soul!'
This last ejaculation was occasioned by Mr Toots's deep concern at the distress he saw in Florence's face; which caused him to stop short in a fit of chuckles, and become an image of despair.
'Dear Mr Toots,' said Florence, 'you are so friendly to me, and so honest, that I am sure I may ask a favour of you.
'Miss Dombey,' returned Mr Toots, 'if you'll only name one, you'll - you'll give me an appetite. To which,' said Mr Toots, with some sentiment, 'I have long been a stranger.
'Susan, who is an old friend of mine, the oldest friend I have,' said Florence, 'is about to leave here suddenly, and quite alone, poor girl. She is going home, a little way into the country. Might I ask you to take care of her until she is in the coach?'
'Miss Dombey,' returned Mr Toots, 'you really do me an honour and a kindness. This proof of your confidence, after the manner in which I was Beast enough to conduct myself at Brighton - '
'Yes,' said Florence, hurriedly - 'no - don't think of that. Then would you have the kindness to - to go? and to be ready to meet her when she comes out? Thank you a thousand times! You ease my mind so much. She doesn't seem so desolate. You cannot think how grateful I feel to you, or what a good friend I am sure you are!' and Florence in her earnestness thanked him again and again; and Mr Toots, in his earnestness, hurried away - but backwards, that he might lose no glimpse of her.
Florence had not the courage to go out, when she saw poor Susan in the hall, with Mrs Pipchin driving her forth, and Diogenes jumping about her, and terrifying Mrs Pipchin to the last degree by making snaps at her bombazeen skirts, and howling with anguish at the sound of her voice - for the good duenna was the dearest and most cherished aversion of his breast. But she saw Susan shake hands with the servants all round, and turn once to look at her old home; and she saw Diogenes bound out after the cab, and want to follow it, and testify an impossibility of conviction that he had no longer any property in the fare; and the door was shut, and the hurry over, and her tears flowed fast for the loss of an old friend, whom no one could replace. No one. No one.
Mr Toots, like the leal and trusty soul he was, stopped the cabriolet in a twinkling, and told Susan Nipper of his commission, at which she cried more than before.
'Upon my soul and body!' said Mr Toots, taking his seat beside her. 'I feel for you. Upon my word and honour I think you can hardly know your own feelings better than I imagine them. I can conceive nothing more dreadful than to have to leave Miss Dombey.'
Susan abandoned herself to her grief now, and it really was touching to see her.
'I say,' said Mr Toots, 'now, don't! at least I mean now do, you know!'
'Do what, Mr Toots!' cried Susan.
'Why, come home to my place, and have some dinner before you start,' said Mr Toots. 'My cook's a most respectable woman - one of the most motherly people I ever saw - and she'll be delighted to make you comfortable. Her son,' said Mr Toots, as an additional recommendation, 'was educated in the Bluecoat School,' and blown up in a powder-mill.'
Susan accepting this kind offer, Mr Toots conducted her to his dwelling, where they were received by the Matron in question who fully justified his character of her, and by the Chicken who at first supposed, on seeing a lady in the vehicle, that Mr Dombey had been doubled up, ably to his old recommendation, and Miss Dombey abducted. This gentleman awakened in Miss Nipper some considerable astonishment; for, having been defeated by the Larkey Boy, his visage was in a state of such great dilapidation, as to be hardly presentable in society with comfort to the beholders. The Chicken himself attributed this punishment to his having had the misfortune to get into Chancery early in the proceedings, when he was severely fibbed by the Larkey one, and heavily grassed. But it appeared from the published records of that great contest that the Larkey Boy had had it all his own way from the beginning, and that the Chicken had been tapped, and bunged, and had received pepper, and had been made groggy, and had come up piping, and had endured a complication of similar strange inconveniences, until he had been gone into and finished.
After a good repast, and much hospitality, Susan set out for the coach-office in another cabriolet, with Mr Toots inside, as before, and the Chicken on the box, who, whatever distinction he conferred on the little party by the moral weight and heroism of his character, was scarcely ornamental to it, physically speaking, on account of his plasters; which were numerous. But the Chicken had registered a vow, in secret, that he would never leave Mr Toots (who was secretly pining to get rid of him), for any less consideration than the good-will and fixtures of a public-house; and being ambitious to go into that line, and drink himself to death as soon as possible, he felt it his cue to make his company unacceptable.
The night-coach by which Susan was to go, was on the point of departure. Mr Toots having put her inside, lingered by the window, irresolutely, until the driver was about to mount; when, standing on the step, and putting in a face that by the light of the lamp was anxious and confused, he said abruptly:
'I say, Susan! Miss Dombey, you know - '
'Yes, Sir.'
'Do you think she could - you know - eh?'
'I beg your pardon, Mr Toots,' said Susan, 'but I don't hear you.
'Do you think she could be brought, you know - not exactly at once, but in time - in a long time - to - to love me, you know? There!' said poor Mr Toots.
'Oh dear no!' returned Susan, shaking her head. 'I should say, never. Never!'
'Thank'ee!' said Mr Toots. 'It's of no consequence. Good-night. It's of no consequence, thank'ee!'
苏珊•尼珀虽然不像太阳升起得那么早,但天一亮就起床了。这位年轻的少女的非常敏锐的黑眼睛里含着抑郁,因此减少了几分光泽,而且使人想起,它们跟平时的情形不一样,有时是闭着的。这两只眼睛看去还很肿大,好像昨天夜里一直在哭泣似的。可是尼珀决没有灰心丧气,而是非常生气勃勃、大胆泼辣,好像振作起全部精神,要去完成什么丰功伟业似的。这甚至可以从她的比平时紧贴得多和整洁得多的衣服中看得出来,也可以从她在房间里走来走去时偶尔猛晃一下脑袋的动作中看得出来,那动作有力地表明了她的决心。
总之,她已下定了决心,一个抱负不凡的决心,这就是:排除艰险,深入到董贝先生面前,单独跟那位先生谈一谈。
“我曾时常说过,我将会这样做的,”那天早上她用威胁的神气对自己说道,同时把脑袋猛晃了好多次,“现在我•就•要这样做了!”
苏珊•尼珀激励着自己,以她特有的机敏去完成这个大胆冒险的计划,整个上午在门厅里和楼梯上转来转去,没有找到一个有利的机会可以下手。她根本没有被这种失利所挫败,这实际上倒相反起了一种刺激的作用,使她更加鼓起勇气,丝毫没有减却警惕性。终于,到了傍晚的时候,她发现她的不共戴天的敌人皮普钦太太借口昨天坐了一整夜,这时正在自己的房间里打瞌睡;她还发现董贝先生这时正躺在沙发上,身旁没人侍候。
尼珀这次不是猛晃了一下脑袋,而是整个身子都猛晃了一下,然后踮着脚尖,走到董贝先生门口,敲了敲门。“进来!”董贝先生说道。苏珊最后又猛晃了一下身子,来鼓起自己的勇气,然后走进去董贝先生正在注视着炉火,惊奇地看了一下走进房间里来的人,并用胳膊把身子略略支起一点。尼珀行了个屈膝礼。
“你需要什么?”董贝先生问道。
“对不起,先生,我想跟您谈谈。”
董贝先生动了动嘴唇,仿佛在重复说这几个字;可是他似乎对这位年轻女人放肆无礼的态度诧异得不知所措,连也发不出来了。
“我是您家的女用人,先生,”苏珊•尼珀就像平时那样快嘴快舌地说道,“我在这里已经十二年了,一直在服侍我的小女主人弗洛伊小姐,我初到这里来的时候她话还讲不清楚,当理查兹大嫂是这里的新用人的时候我已经是个老用人了,我可能不是梅索沙来姆①,但我已经不是个抱在怀里的娃娃了。”
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①梅索沙来姆(Meethosalem):旧约圣经中传说活了969岁的人。
董贝先生用胳膊支着,欠起身来,看看她,对这一篇开场白性的事实陈述没有发表意见。
“世界上没有哪一位小姐像我的小姐那样可亲可爱的了,先生,”苏珊说道,“我比什么人都了解这一点,因为我看到她处于悲痛的时候,也看到她处于快乐的时候(她的快乐是不多的),我看到她跟她弟弟在一起的时候,也看到她孤零零一个人的时候,而有的人从来也没有看到过她,我对有的人和对所有的人说,是的,我说!”这时黑眼睛摇摇头,轻轻地跺跺脚;“我说,弗洛伊小姐是世界上最可亲可爱的天使,先生,让他们把我撕得粉碎吧,把我撕得越碎我越要这样说,虽然我可能不是福克斯书中的殉难者。”①
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①约翰•福克斯(JohnFoxe,1516—1587年)于1663年发表了《最近这些灾难日子里的伟迹与丰碑》(ActsandMonumentsofTheseLatterandPerillousDays》一书,以生动和论战的笔触叙述新教徒从十四世纪到玛丽一世在位这一时期所受的磨难;此书在英国清教徒家庭中传诵甚广,是除《圣经》之外最受珍爱的书;它的通俗名称为《殉教者书》(TheBookofMartyrs)。
董贝先生摔伤以后脸色本已发白,这时由于愤怒与惊讶变得更加苍白;他的眼睛直盯着说话的人,那副神态就仿佛在责备他的眼睛和耳朵在欺骗他似的。
“任何人都不能不真诚与忠实地对待弗洛伊小姐,”苏珊继续说道,“我不自夸我服务了十二年有什么功劳,因为我爱她——是的,我可以对有的人和对所有的人这样说!”这时黑眼睛又摇摇头,又轻轻地跺跺脚,抑制着自己不哭泣;“可是真诚与忠实的服务使我有权利说出我希望说的话,说出我应当说和现在就要说的话,不管这话是对还是错!”
“你想要做什么,女人!”董贝先生向她怒瞪着眼睛,说道,“你怎么敢这样?”
“我想要做什么,先生?我只是想恭恭敬敬地,毫不冒犯地,但却开诚布公地把话说出来,至于我怎么敢这样,我也不明白,但我确实是敢!”苏珊说道,“唉!您不了解我的小姐,先生您真是不了解,如果您了解的话,那么您就决不会这样不了解她的。”
董贝先生勃然大怒,伸手去拉铃绳,可是在壁炉这边没有铃绳,而没有别人帮助,他又不能站起来走到另一边去。尼珀眼快,立刻看出他束手无策的状态,现在,正像她后来所说的,她觉得她已经把他掌握在她手中了。
“弗洛伊小姐,”苏珊•尼珀说道,“是世界上最忠诚、最耐性、最孝顺、最漂亮的女儿,先生,任何一位先生,即使把英国最高贵最有钱的先生加起来才抵得上他那样高贵和有钱,也决不会不因为她而感到自豪,他将会感到自豪也应当感到自豪。如果他真正了解她的价值的话,那么他就会宁愿为了她而逐渐失去他的高贵身份和财产,并穿着破烂的衣服挨门逐户去乞讨,而不愿给她温柔的心带来这样沉重的悲伤的,我在这屋子里亲眼看到她的心受了多么大的痛苦啊!我对有的人并对所有的人都这样说。”苏珊•尼珀高声喊道,一边突然泪流满脸地痛哭起来。
“女人,”董贝先生喊道,“离开这房间!”
“请原谅,先生,即使我要丢掉我的职务,丢掉这个我干了这么多年,见识了许许多多事情的职务,我现在也不走,”坚定的尼珀回答道,“虽然我希望您千万别为了这样的原因这样狠心地把我从弗洛伊小姐的身边打发走!是的,我没有把话说完是不会走的。我可能不是一位印度寡妇,①先生,我现在不是也不想成为印度寡妇,但是一旦我下定决心把我自己活活烧死,我是会这样做的!我已下定决心继续把我的话说完!”
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①按照古时印度的风俗习惯,在丈夫死后的火葬柴堆上要把寡妇活活烧死。
这一点,苏珊•尼珀脸上的表情并不比她的言语表达得不清楚。
“在您家服务的所有仆人中,先生,”黑眼睛继续说道,“没有一位像我这样老是害怕您的,我大胆地告诉您,我曾经几百次几百次想跟您谈谈,不过以前总是下不了决心,但是昨天夜里我终于下定决心了,您可以相信我这些话是说得多么真诚。”
董贝先生火冒三丈,又动手去抓那不在近旁的铃绳,由于抓不到铃绳,他就揪自己的头发,这比没有抓住什么总强一些。
“我看到,”苏珊•尼珀说道,“弗洛伊小姐还完全是个孩子的时候,就尝够了艰辛,那时她是个多么可爱多么耐性的孩子啊,即使是最好的妇女也可以仿效她的榜样,我看见她一夜又一夜地坐到深夜,帮助有病的弟弟准备功课,我看见她在其他时候——有的人很了解这是在什么时候——帮助他守护他,我看见她在得不到鼓励得不到帮助的情况下长大成为一位姑娘,谢天谢地!这是她所结交的每一位朋友感到体面和感到自豪的。我看见她受到了冷酷无情的冷落,剧烈地感到痛苦——我对有的人并对所有的人这样说,我已经这样说了!——而她却从来不说一个字,可是即使一个人要低三下四地恭恭敬敬地对待比她高超的人的话,那也并不是说她要崇拜一个雕像呀,我要说出这一点并且必须说出这一点!”
“有人吗?”董贝先生大声喊道,“男仆人在哪里?女仆人在哪里?难道这里一个人也没有了吗?”
“昨天夜晚我离开我亲爱的小姐的时候已经很晚了,可是她还没有上床睡觉,”苏珊没有受到丝毫影响,继续说下去,“我知道这是为什么!因为您病了先生而她却不知道您病得多重,这一点就足以使她变得多么可怜了,我也亲眼看到她是多么可怜。我可能不是孔雀,但是我有眼睛——我坐在我自己的房间里,心想她可能感到寂寞需要我,我看见她偷偷地下了楼走到这个门口,就仿佛看看她的亲爸爸是一件犯罪的事情似的,然后她又偷偷地回去,走到寂静的客厅里,在那里哭起来,哭得我简直•都•不忍心听下去。我•不•能忍心听下去,”苏珊•尼珀抹抹她的黑眼睛,毫不畏惧地注视着董贝先生怒气冲冲的脸孔,说道,“这并不是我第一次听到她哭,我已经听过好多好多次了!您不了解您亲生的女儿,先生,您不明白您做了什么事,先生,我对有的人并对所有的人说,”苏珊•尼珀最后冲动地大声喊叫道,“这是罪孽深重的、可耻的事情!”
“嗳呀,不得了!”传来了皮普钦太太的喊声;穿着黑色邦巴辛毛葛衣服的秘鲁矿的女人昂首阔步地走进了房间。“究竟是怎么回事?”
苏珊向皮普钦太太送去了一个眼神,这种眼神是她们初次相识时她特意为她而创造出来的;她让董贝先生来回答。
“怎么回事?”董贝先生几乎唾沫纷飞地重复问道,“怎么回事,夫人?您是主管这个房屋的,有责任把这个家管得有条不紊,您确实有理由提出这个问题。您知道这个女人吗?”
“我知道她不是个好玩艺儿,先生,”皮普钦太太用哭丧的说道,“你怎么敢到这里来,你这轻佻的贱货?你给我滚!”
可是刚强不屈的尼珀只是向皮普钦太太奉送了另一个眼神,一动不动地继续站在那里。
“夫人,”董贝先生说道,“听任这一类人放肆地进来跟•我谈话,一位上层社会的高贵人物在他自己的公馆里,在他自己的房间里竟居然被他的女仆人鲁莽无礼地教训起来,您还能说是在管家吗?”
“说得对,先生,”皮普钦太太回答道,她那冷酷无情的灰色眼睛中闪射出复仇的火焰,“我非常抱歉,没有比这更不成体统的事了,没有比这更无法无天、超越理性的事了。不过我不得不遗憾地指出,先生,这个年轻女人是很难管束的。她被董贝小姐惯坏了,谁的话她都不听。你明白,你就是这样的,”皮普钦太太对苏珊•尼珀摇着头,苛刻地说道,“真不害臊,你这轻佻的贱货!快给我滚!”
“在为我服务的人们当中,您如果发现有谁难以管束,皮普钦太太,”董贝先生又转向壁炉,说道,“我想,您知道该怎么处理他们。您知道您在这里是干什么的吗?把她带走!”
“先生,我知道该怎么办,”皮普钦太太回答道,“当然我将会这么办的。苏珊•尼珀,”她怒气冲冲、特别急躁无礼地对着她说道,“我预先通知你,从现在起一个月以后你就被解雇了。”
“哦,真的吗?”苏珊高傲地回答道。
“是的,”皮普钦太太回答道,“别朝我发笑,你这发疯的姑娘,要不就把你发笑的原因说出来!你这一分钟就给我滚!”
“我这分钟就走,这一点你别担心,”能言善辩的尼珀说道,“我在这屋子里侍候我的小姐已有十二年,在姓皮普钦的向我发出解雇通知以后,我不会在这里再待一个钟头,这一点你可以相信我,皮太太。”
“我们终于把这臭垃圾给清除掉了!”怒气冲天的老太太说道,“快滚吧,要不我就命令把你拽出去!”
“我感到安慰的是,”苏珊回过头去看着董贝先生,说道,“今天我把好久以前就应当说出的真实情况说出来了,这些话不论说多少次也不会嫌多,不论怎么说也不会嫌太直率,而且没有哪一位皮普钦——我希望她们人数不多——(这时皮普钦太太十分凶狠地喊了一声,“给我滚!”,尼珀姑娘则重新向她送去一个眼神)能取消我已经说了的话,虽然这些皮普钦在整整一年时间里从上午十点钟起一直到夜里十二点钟为止,一直没休没止地发出解雇的警告,最后终于精疲力尽而死去,那时候倒将是个真正欢乐的节日哩!”
尼珀姑娘说完这些话之后,在她的仇人的跟随下,走出了房间,十分庄严地上了楼,回到自己的房间,把忿怒的皮普钦气得喘不过气来,然后她在她的一些箱子中间坐下,开始哭起来。
不久,她就被门外皮普钦太太的从这软弱的状态中唤醒,结果是很有益于身心和振奋精神的。
“那条厚颜无耻的母狗,”凶恶的皮普钦太太说道,“打算接受解雇呢还是不打算接受?”
尼珀姑娘从房间里回答道,她所说的那条厚颜无耻的母狗不在这个房间,那条母狗姓皮普钦,到女管家房间里去可以找到。
“你这不懂规矩的婊子!”皮普钦太太回骂道,一边卡嗒卡嗒地转动着门把,“这分钟就给我滚!立刻就收拾你的东西!
你怎么敢这样对一位过过好日子的贵夫人说话?”
尼珀姑娘从她的城堡中回答道,她真为那些让皮普钦太太过过的好日子惋惜,就她来说,她认为,这一年当中最坏的日子已经离这位太太不远了,只不过这些最坏的日子对这位太太来说还是太好了太好了。
“可是你不必麻烦自己在我的门口吵吵闹闹,”苏珊•尼珀说道,“也不要用你的眼睛把钥匙孔弄脏了。我正在收拾东西,我就走,我这个口头宣誓是你想要的,你拿去吧。”
这位未亡人听到这个消息以后,眉飞色舞,表示十分满意,一边对轻佻的小贱货这一类人,特别是在董贝小姐把她们惯坏以后的种种缺点发表了一番评论,一边回去准备尼珀的工资。在这之后,尼珀忙着把箱子收拾妥贴,以便可以立刻尊严地动身;在这整个时间里,她想到弗洛伦斯,一直在伤心地哭泣着。
她所哀怜的对象不久就来到她的身边,因为整个屋子里很快就传遍了这个消息:苏珊•尼珀跟皮普钦太太发生了激烈的争吵;她们两人都上诉到董贝先生那里,在董贝先生的房间里发生了一场前所未见的大吵大闹;苏珊要离开这里了。弗洛伦斯发现这些众说纷纭的传说中的最后部分十分真实,因为当她走进房间的时候,苏珊已经锁好最后一只箱子,戴着帽子坐在上面。
“苏珊!”弗洛伦斯喊道,“您要离开我了吗!您!”
“哎呀,看在老天爷的面上,弗洛伊小姐,”苏珊哭泣着,说道,“一句话也别跟我说,要不我就在皮—皮—皮—皮普钦她们面前丢了脸了,弗洛伊小姐我无论如何也不能让她们看到我哭!”
“苏珊!”弗洛伦斯说道,“我亲爱的,我的老朋友!我没有您该怎么办哪!您能忍心就这样走了吗?”
“不—不—不—不,我亲爱的宝贝弗洛伊小姐,我确实不忍心,”苏珊哭泣着,“可是没有办法,我已经尽了我的责任,小姐,我确实已经尽了我的责任。这不是我的过错。我是迫不得已,只好这样了。我不能封住自己的嘴,要不我就将永远离不开您了,我的亲爱的,而我最终还是不能不走的,不要跟我说话吧,弗洛伊小姐,因为我虽然是相当坚定的,但我毕竟不是大理石门柱呀,我亲爱的宝贝。”
“究竟是怎么回事?为什么会发生这样的事情?”弗洛伦斯说道,“难道你不想告诉我吗?”因为这时苏珊摇摇头。
“不—不—不,我亲爱的,”苏珊回答道,“别问我吧,因为我不应该说,不论您做什么,千万别去替我说情,让我留下来,因为这是办不到的,而只会使您自己受委屈,因此让上帝保佑您吧,我的宝贝小姐,在这许多年头里我所做的一切不好的事情,我所发的一切脾气,都请您原谅吧!”
苏珊真心诚意地提出这个请求之后,紧紧地拥抱着她的女主人。
“我亲爱的,有许多人可以当您的女仆人,她们将会高兴周到地真诚地侍候您,”苏珊说道,“可是没有一个人能像我这样情深意厚地为您服务,没有一个人能像我这样热爱您,这是我可以安慰自己的。再—再—见吧,我可爱的弗洛伊小姐!”
“您到那里去呢,苏珊?”她的哭泣着的女主人问道。
“小姐我在乡下有一位哥哥——是埃塞克斯①的农民,”
--------
①埃塞克斯(Essex):英格兰东南部的郡,东滨北海,南界泰晤士河口。
心碎肠断的尼珀说道,“他饲养了许多奶—奶—奶牛和猪,我将搭乘驿车去,在他那里住——住下,别替我操心,因为我在储蓄银行里还存有一笔钱,我亲爱的,现在还不需要再去找一份工作,那是我现在做不到,做不到,做不到的,我的心肝女主人!”苏珊说完之后悲痛地大哭起来,幸好皮普钦太太在楼下谈话的把这给打断了。苏珊一听到那,就把红肿的眼睛擦干,可怜地装出快活的样子,呼唤托林森先生去给她雇马车,并帮她把箱子搬到楼下去。
弗洛伦斯脸色苍白,心情焦急,悲痛,由于害怕会造成她父亲和他的妻子(她的严厉的、愤怒的脸几分钟前对她来说还是一种警告)之间新的分裂,还担心她本人已经在某些方面不知不觉地跟她多年的仆人和朋友的解雇有关系,所以甚至这时她也不敢进行徒劳无益的干涉,只是哭泣着跟着下了楼,到了伊迪丝的化妆室中;苏珊到那里去是向她行屈膝礼,进行告别的。
“好了,这里是马车,这里是箱子,快给我滚吧,滚!”皮普钦太太在同一个时刻来到这里,说道,“请原谅,夫人,不过董贝先生的命令是不容违抗的。”
伊迪丝坐着,她的侍女正在给她梳头——她将出去参加晚晏——,这时她脸上保持着傲慢的神色,丝毫也不理睬。
“这是你的钱,”皮普钦太太说道,她在执行她的制度时和在回忆矿上的情形时,习惯于对仆人们逞凶肆虐,就像她在布赖顿时对那些在她那里吃饭和住宿的年轻人逞凶肆虐的情形一样;比瑟斯通少爷曾被惹得怒气永久不消;“你愈早离开这屋子愈好。”
苏珊连向皮普钦太太送一次专属于她的眼神的精神也没有;她向董贝夫人行了一个屈膝礼(董贝夫人默默无言地点了一下头,她的眼睛避开了除弗洛伦斯以外的任何人),然后在临别前最后一次地紧抱着她的年轻的女主人,并接受了她的年轻的女主人的临别拥抱。可怜的苏珊心绪万分激动,又坚决忍住不哭,唯恐发出一点哭声会使皮普钦太太听了开心得意;在这紧急关头她脸上的表情呈现出极不寻常的种种变化,真是前所未有。
“请原谅,小姐,”托林森先生提着箱子站在门口,对弗洛伦斯说道,“图茨先生在会客室里;他向您问候,并想打听一下戴奥吉尼斯和他的女主人好吗。”
弗洛伦斯像闪电一般迅速溜出房间,急急忙忙地下了楼。图茨先生穿着极为华丽的服装,在楼下正在猜疑她是否可能会来,心情焦躁不安,很急促地呼吸着。
“啊,您好,董贝小姐,”图茨先生说道,“哎哟我的天哪!”
这最后的惊喊声是由于图茨先生看到弗洛伦斯脸上悲痛的神色,感到深切的忧虑而发出的;这立即使他中断了吃吃的笑声,变成了悲观绝望的化身。
“亲爱的图茨先生,”弗洛伦斯说道,“您对我很友好,又很正直,所以我相信我可以请您帮个忙。”
“董贝小姐,”图茨先生回答道,“您只要说出一件事我可以效劳的,您就——您就会恢复我的胃口,”图茨先生感伤地说道,“我已好久没有胃口了。”
“苏珊是我的一位老朋友,是与我相识最久的一位老朋友;她突然要离开这里了,而且是孤零零一个人离开,可怜的女孩子。她回到乡下的家里去。我是不是可以劳驾您照顾她一下,把她送上驿车?”
“董贝小姐,”图茨先生回答道,“您确实使我感到荣幸,这也是您对我的厚道。这证明您信任我,虽然在这之前我在布赖顿的行为真是十足像个畜牲——”
“是的,”弗洛伦斯急忙打断他,说道,“不——别去想那件事吧。这么说,您肯费神去——走一走?并且当她走出门的时候,您去迎接她?谢您一千次!您使我宽心不少。她将不会觉得自己很孤独凄凉了。您不知道我是多么感谢您,我把您看作是一位多么好的朋友!”弗洛伦斯怀着一片真心诚意,一次又一次地感谢他,图茨先生也怀着他的一片真心诚意,急忙离开了——不过是向后退着走的,为的是一眼也不离开她,直到看不见为止。
弗洛伦斯看见可怜的苏珊在前厅里,皮普钦太太把她驱赶到那里;戴奥吉尼斯在她身边跳跃着,并竭尽全力威吓着皮普钦太太;他向她的邦巴辛毛葛裙子猛扑过去,而且一听到她的就痛苦地嗥叫着,因为这位可敬的老媪引起他胸中极大的、深切的嫌恶;这时候弗洛伦斯没有勇气走出去。但是她看着苏珊和周围的仆人们一一握手,向她这个居住多年的老家环视了一次;她还看到戴奥吉尼斯跳出去追赶马车,想跟着它跑;他怎么也不能理解,他对马车里的那位女乘客不再拥有任何亲近的权利了。接着,公馆的门关上了,刚才的忙乱过去了,弗洛伦斯的眼泪簌簌地流下,她为失去老朋友而哭泣着,这位老朋友是谁也不能代替的。谁也不能。谁也不能。
图茨先生是一位忠实可靠的人,他在转瞬之间就拦住这辆单马篷车,对苏珊•尼珀说明了他所受托的任务。苏珊听到以后,比刚才更大声地哭了起来。
“以我的灵魂和身体发誓,”图茨先生在她身旁坐下,说道,“我同情您!说实话,并以我的荣誉发誓,您对您自己的感情还不比我了解得更清楚。我不能想象,有什么事能比离开董贝小姐更可怕的了。”
苏珊这时纵情痛哭,看到她那悲伤的情景真是令人感动。
“我说,”图茨先生说道,“别这样!您知道,至少我知道现在该怎么办!”
“怎么办,图茨先生?”苏珊哭着问道。
“唔,到我家去,先吃一顿晚饭再上路,”图茨先生说道。
“我家的厨娘是一位品格极为高尚的妇女——心地极为慈善,她一定会高高兴兴地把您照料得十分舒适如意。她的儿子,”图茨先生补充介绍道,“在慈善学校中受过教育,后来在一个火药工厂中被炸死了。”
苏珊接受了这个善良的邀请,图茨先生把她一直送到他的住所;上面提到的那位大婶和斗鸡先生在这里迎接他们。那位大婶完全跟图茨先生介绍的情形一样。斗鸡先生起初看到马车里有一位小姐,还以为他先前的建议终于被采纳,董贝先生已被打得直不起腰来,董贝小姐已被诱拐到这里来了。这位先生使尼珀姑娘相当吃惊,因为他被拉基•博伊打败之后,面貌受到极大的损毁,进入社交界时很难使看到的人感到舒服。斗鸡把他所吃到的苦头归咎于他在拳斗过程中,头不幸很快被夹在对方腋下,在这之后,拉基狠狠地打了他一拳,把他往地上猛地一掷。但是从这次伟大竞赛的已经公布的记录来看,拉基•博伊一开始就按照他自己的意思去打,斗鸡被打在身上,被打得鼻青眼肿,被接连速击,逼得他摇摇晃晃,高声哭叫,还受到了好多类似的苦楚,直到最后被彻底制服为止。
苏珊在十分好客的气氛中吃了一顿丰盛的晚饭之后,乘坐了另一辆单马篷车到驿车车站去;图茨先生跟先前一样,跟她并排坐在车子里。斗鸡则坐在马车夫的座位上;虽然他凭他道义上的影响和英雄主义的品格,对他们这几位同行的人可能增添了不小的光彩,不过就他的外表来说,因为他的脸上贴满了膏药,因此未必能成为他们美丽的装饰。但是斗鸡先生暗地里发过誓,在他还不能把一个酒吧的招牌和不动产弄到手可以经营它之前,他决不离开图茨先生(图茨先生暗地里却很想摆脱他)。由于他雄心勃勃地想进入这个行业,并尽早把自己喝得酩酊大醉,他觉得他必须先让他周围的人厌恶他在场。
苏珊乘坐的夜间的驿车立刻就要开动了。图茨先生搀扶她进去、坐好以后,一直迟疑不决地在窗口磨蹭着不走,直到马车夫准备爬上座位的时候,他才站在车子的台阶上,把脸孔探进去(从灯光中可以看到他脸上那焦虑的、困窘的神色),语无伦次地说道:
“我说,苏珊!董贝小姐,您知道——”
“是的,先生。”
“您认为她会——您知道——嗯?”
“请原谅,图茨先生,”苏珊说道,“您的话我没听明白。”
“您认为她能不能,您知道——不是说现在立刻就,而是说以后——过很久以后——终于——会——会爱我吗,您知道?就是这!”可怜的图茨先生说道。
“啊,不会!”苏珊摇摇头,回答道,“我要说那是永远不会的。永远——不会!”
“谢谢您!”图茨先生说道,“这无关紧要。再见。这无关紧要,谢谢您!”
慕若涵

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Chapter 45
The Trusty Agent

Edith went out alone that day, and returned home early. It was but a few minutes after ten o'clock, when her carriage rolled along the street in which she lived.
There was the same enforced composure on her face, that there had been when she was dressing; and the wreath upon her head encircled the same cold and steady brow. But it would have been better to have seen its leaves and flowers reft into fragments by her passionate hand, or rendered shapeless by the fitful searches of a throbbing and bewildered brain for any resting-place, than adorning such tranquillity. So obdurate, so unapproachable, so unrelenting, one would have thought that nothing could soften such a woman's nature, and that everything in life had hardened it.
Arrived at her own door, she was alighting, when some one coming quietly from the hall, and standing bareheaded, offered her his arm. The servant being thrust aside, she had no choice but to touch it; and she then knew whose arm it was.
'How is your patient, Sir?' she asked, with a curled lip.
'He is better,' returned Carker. 'He is doing very well. I have left him for the night.'
She bent her head, and was passing up the staircase, when he followed and said, speaking at the bottom:
'Madam! May I beg the favour of a minute's audience?'
She stopped and turned her eyes back 'It is an unseasonable time, Sir, and I am fatigued. Is your business urgent?'
'It is very urgent, returned Carker. 'As I am so fortunate as to have met you, let me press my petition.'
She looked down for a moment at his glistening mouth; and he looked up at her, standing above him in her stately dress, and thought, again, how beautiful she was.
'Where is Miss Dombey?' she asked the servant, aloud.
'In the morning room, Ma'am.'
'Show the way there!' Turning her eyes again on the attentive gentleman at the bottom of the stairs, and informing him with a slight motion of her head, that he was at liberty to follow, she passed on.
'I beg your pardon! Madam! Mrs Dombey!' cried the soft and nimble Carker, at her side in a moment. 'May I be permitted to entreat that Miss Dombey is not present?'
She confronted him, with a quick look, but with the same self-possession and steadiness.
'I would spare Miss Dombey,' said Carker, in a low voice, 'the knowledge of what I have to say. At least, Madam, I would leave it to you to decide whether she shall know of it or not. I owe that to you. It is my bounden duty to you. After our former interview, it would be monstrous in me if I did otherwise.'
She slowly withdrew her eyes from his face, and turning to the servant, said, 'Some other room.' He led the way to a drawing-room, which he speedily lighted up and then left them. While he remained, not a word was spoken. Edith enthroned herself upon a couch by the fire; and Mr Carker, with his hat in his hand and his eyes bent upon the carpet, stood before her, at some little distance.
'Before I hear you, Sir,' said Edith, when the door was closed, 'I wish you to hear me.'
'To be addressed by Mrs Dombey,' he returned, 'even in accents of unmerited reproach, is an honour I so greatly esteem, that although I were not her servant in all things, I should defer to such a wish, most readily.'
'If you are charged by the man whom you have just now left, Sir;' Mr Carker raised his eyes, as if he were going to counterfeit surprise, but she met them, and stopped him, if such were his intention; 'with any message to me, do not attempt to deliver it, for I will not receive it. I need scarcely ask you if you are come on such an errand. I have expected you some time.
'It is my misfortune,' he replied, 'to be here, wholly against my will, for such a purpose. Allow me to say that I am here for two purposes. That is one.'
'That one, Sir,' she returned, 'is ended. Or, if you return to it - '
'Can Mrs Dombey believe,' said Carker, coming nearer, 'that I would return to it in the face of her prohibition? Is it possible that Mrs Dombey, having no regard to my unfortunate position, is so determined to consider me inseparable from my instructor as to do me great and wilful injustice?'
'Sir,' returned Edith, bending her dark gaze full upon him, and speaking with a rising passion that inflated her proud nostril and her swelling neck, and stirred the delicate white down upon a robe she wore, thrown loosely over shoulders that could hear its snowy neighbourhood. 'Why do you present yourself to me, as you have done, and speak to me of love and duty to my husband, and pretend to think that I am happily married, and that I honour him? How dare you venture so to affront me, when you know - I do not know better, Sir: I have seen it in your every glance, and heard it in your every word - that in place of affection between us there is aversion and contempt, and that I despise him hardly less than I despise myself for being his! Injustice! If I had done justice to the torment you have made me feel, and to my sense of the insult you have put upon me, I should have slain you!'
She had asked him why he did this. Had she not been blinded by her pride and wrath, and self-humiliation, - which she was, fiercely as she bent her gaze upon him, - she would have seen the answer in his face. To bring her to this declaration.
She saw it not, and cared not whether it was there or no. She saw only the indignities and struggles she had undergone and had to undergo, and was writhing under them. As she sat looking fixedly at them, rather than at him, she plucked the feathers from a pinion of some rare and beautiful bird, which hung from her wrist by a golden thread, to serve her as a fan, and rained them on the ground.
He did not shrink beneath her gaze, but stood, until such outward signs of her anger as had escaped her control subsided, with the air of a man who had his sufficient reply in reserve and would presently deliver it. And he then spoke, looking straight into her kindling eyes.
'Madam,' he said, 'I know, and knew before to-day, that I have found no favour with you; and I knew why. Yes. I knew why. You have spoken so openly to me; I am so relieved by the possession of your confidence - '
'Confidence!' she repeated, with disdain.
He passed it over.
' - that I will make no pretence of concealment. I did see from the first, that there was no affection on your part for Mr Dombey - how could it possibly exist between such different subjects? And I have seen, since, that stronger feelings than indifference have been engendered in your breast - how could that possibly be otherwise, either, circumstanced as you have been? But was it for me to presume to avow this knowledge to you in so many words?'
'Was it for you, Sir,' she replied, 'to feign that other belief, and audaciously to thrust it on me day by day?'
'Madam, it was,' he eagerly retorted. 'If I had done less, if I had done anything but that, I should not be speaking to you thus; and I foresaw - who could better foresee, for who has had greater experience of Mr Dombey than myself? - that unless your character should prove to be as yielding and obedient as that of his first submissive lady, which I did not believe - '
A haughty smile gave him reason to observe that he might repeat this.
'I say, which I did not believe, - the time was likely to come, when such an understanding as we have now arrived at, would be serviceable.'
'Serviceable to whom, Sir?' she demanded scornfully.
'To you. I will not add to myself, as warning me to refrain even from that limited commendation of Mr Dombey, in which I can honestly indulge, in order that I may not have the misfortune of saying anything distasteful to one whose aversion and contempt,' with great expression, 'are so keen.'
'Is it honest in you, Sir,' said Edith, 'to confess to your "limited commendation," and to speak in that tone of disparagement, even of him: being his chief counsellor and flatterer!'
'Counsellor, - yes,' said Carker. 'Flatterer, - no. A little reservation I fear I must confess to. But our interest and convenience commonly oblige many of us to make professions that we cannot feel. We have partnerships of interest and convenience, friendships of interest and convenience, dealings of interest and convenience, marriages of interest and convenience, every day.'
She bit her blood-red lip; but without wavering in the dark, stern watch she kept upon him.
'Madam,' said Mr Carker, sitting down in a chair that was near her, with an air of the most profound and most considerate respect, 'why should I hesitate now, being altogether devoted to your service, to speak plainly? It was natural that a lady, endowed as you are, should think it feasible to change her husband's character in some respects, and mould him to a better form.'
'It was not natural to me, Sir,' she rejoined. 'I had never any expectation or intention of that kind.'
The proud undaunted face showed him it was resolute to wear no mask he offered, but was set upon a reckless disclosure of itself, indifferent to any aspect in which it might present itself to such as he.
'At least it was natural,' he resumed, 'that you should deem it quite possible to live with Mr Dombey as his wife, at once without submitting to him, and without coming into such violent collision with him. But, Madam, you did not know Mr Dombey (as you have since ascertained), when you thought that. You did not know how exacting and how proud he is, or how he is, if I may say so, the slave of his own greatness, and goes yoked to his own triumphal car like a beast of burden, with no idea on earth but that it is behind him and is to be drawn on, over everything and through everything.'
His teeth gleamed through his malicious relish of this conceit, as he went on talking:
'Mr Dombey is really capable of no more true consideration for you, Madam, than for me. The comparison is an extreme one; I intend it to be so; but quite just. Mr Dombey, in the plenitude of his power, asked me - I had it from his own lips yesterday morning - to be his go-between to you, because he knows I am not agreeable to you, and because he intends that I shall be a punishment for your contumacy; and besides that, because he really does consider, that I, his paid servant, am an ambassador whom it is derogatory to the dignity - not of the lady to whom I have the happiness of speaking; she has no existence in his mind - but of his wife, a part of himself, to receive. You may imagine how regardless of me, how obtuse to the possibility of my having any individual sentiment or opinion he is, when he tells me, openly, that I am so employed. You know how perfectly indifferent to your feelings he is, when he threatens you with such a messenger. As you, of course, have not forgotten that he did.'
She watched him still attentively. But he watched her too; and he saw that this indication of a knowledge on his part, of something that had passed between herself and her husband, rankled and smarted in her haughty breast, like a poisoned arrow.
'I do not recall all this to widen the breach between yourself and Mr Dombey, Madam - Heaven forbid! what would it profit me? - but as an example of the hopelessness of impressing Mr Dombey with a sense that anybody is to be considered when he is in question. We who are about him, have, in our various positions, done our part, I daresay, to confirm him in his way of thinking; but if we had not done so, others would - or they would not have been about him; and it has always been, from the beginning, the very staple of his life. Mr Dombey has had to deal, in short, with none but submissive and dependent persons, who have bowed the knee, and bent the neck, before him. He has never known what it is to have angry pride and strong resentment opposed to him.'
'But he will know it now!' she seemed to say; though her lips did not part, nor her eyes falter. He saw the soft down tremble once again, and he saw her lay the plumage of the beautiful bird against her bosom for a moment; and he unfolded one more ring of the coil into which he had gathered himself.
'Mr Dombey, though a most honourable gentleman,' he said, 'is so prone to pervert even facts to his own view, when he is at all opposed, in consequence of the warp in his mind, that he - can I give a better instance than this! - he sincerely believes (you will excuse the folly of what I am about to say; it not being mine) that his severe expression of opinion to his present wife, on a certain special occasion she may remember, before the lamented death of Mrs Skewton, produced a withering effect, and for the moment quite subdued her!'
Edith laughed. How harshly and unmusically need not be described. It is enough that he was glad to hear her.
'Madam,' he resumed, 'I have done with this. Your own opinions are so strong, and, I am persuaded, so unalterable,' he repeated those words slowly and with great emphasis, 'that I am almost afraid to incur your displeasure anew, when I say that in spite of these defects and my full knowledge of them, I have become habituated to Mr Dombey, and esteem him. But when I say so, it is not, believe me, for the mere sake of vaunting a feeling that is so utterly at variance with your own, and for which you can have no sympathy' - oh how distinct and plain and emphasized this was! - 'but to give you an assurance of the zeal with which, in this unhappy matter, I am yours, and the indignation with which I regard the part I am to fill!'
She sat as if she were afraid to take her eyes from his face.
And now to unwind the last ring of the coil!
'It is growing late,' said Carker, after a pause, 'and you are, as you said, fatigued. But the second object of this interview, I must not forget. I must recommend you, I must entreat you in the most earnest manner, for sufficient reasons that I have, to be cautious in your demonstrations of regard for Miss Dombey.'
'Cautious! What do you mean?'
'To be careful how you exhibit too much affection for that young lady.'
'Too much affection, Sir!' said Edith, knitting her broad brow and rising. 'Who judges my affection, or measures it out? You?'
'It is not I who do so.' He was, or feigned to be, perplexed.
'Who then?'
'Can you not guess who then?'
'I do not choose to guess,' she answered.
'Madam,' he said after a little hesitation; meantime they had been, and still were, regarding each other as before; 'I am in a difficulty here. You have told me you will receive no message, and you have forbidden me to return to that subject; but the two subjects are so closely entwined, I find, that unless you will accept this vague caution from one who has now the honour to possess your confidence, though the way to it has been through your displeasure, I must violate the injunction you have laid upon me.'
'You know that you are free to do so, Sir,' said Edith. 'Do it.'
So pale, so trembling, so impassioned! He had not miscalculated the effect then!
'His instructions were,' he said, in a low voice, 'that I should inform you that your demeanour towards Miss Dombey is not agreeable to him. That it suggests comparisons to him which are not favourable to himself. That he desires it may be wholly changed; and that if you are in earnest, he is confident it will be; for your continued show of affection will not benefit its object.'
'That is a threat,' she said.
'That is a threat,' he answered, in his voiceless manner of assent: adding aloud, 'but not directed against you.'
Proud, erect, and dignified, as she stood confronting him; and looking through him as she did, with her full bright flashing eye; and smiling, as she was, with scorn and bitterness; she sunk as if the ground had dropped beneath her, and in an instant would have fallen on the floor, but that he caught her in his arms. As instantaneously she threw him off, the moment that he touched her, and, drawing back, confronted him again, immoveable, with her hand stretched out.
'Please to leave me. Say no more to-night.'
'I feel the urgency of this,' said Mr Carker, 'because it is impossible to say what unforeseen consequences might arise, or how soon, from your being unacquainted with his state of mind. I understand Miss Dombey is concerned, now, at the dismissal of her old servant, which is likely to have been a minor consequence in itself. You don't blame me for requesting that Miss Dombey might not be present. May I hope so?'
'I do not. Please to leave me, Sir.'
'I knew that your regard for the young lady, which is very sincere and strong, I am well persuaded, would render it a great unhappiness to you, ever to be a prey to the reflection that you had injured her position and ruined her future hopes,' said Carker hurriedly, but eagerly.
'No more to-night. Leave me, if you please.'
'I shall be here constantly in my attendance upon him, and in the transaction of business matters. You will allow me to see you again, and to consult what should be done, and learn your wishes?'
She motioned him towards the door.
'I cannot even decide whether to tell him I have spoken to you yet; or to lead him to suppose that I have deferred doing so, for want of opportunity, or for any other reason. It will be necessary that you should enable me to consult with you very soon.
'At any time but now,' she answered.
'You will understand, when I wish to see you, that Miss Dombey is not to be present; and that I seek an interview as one who has the happiness to possess your confidence, and who comes to render you every assistance in his power, and, perhaps, on many occasions, to ward off evil from her?'
Looking at him still with the same apparent dread of releasing him for a moment from the influence of her steady gaze, whatever that might be, she answered, 'Yes!' and once more bade him go.
He bowed, as if in compliance; but turning back, when he had nearly reached the door, said:
'I am forgiven, and have explained my fault. May I - for Miss Dombey's sake, and for my own - take your hand before I go?'
She gave him the gloved hand she had maimed last night. He took it in one of his, and kissed it, and withdrew. And when he had closed the door, he waved the hand with which he had taken hers, and thrust it in his breast.
Edith saw no one that night, but locked her door, and kept herself
alone.
She did not weep; she showed no greater agitation, outwardly, than when she was riding home. She laid as proud a head upon her pillow as she had borne in her carriage; and her prayer ran thus:
'May this man be a liar! For if he has spoken truth, she is lost to me, and I have no hope left!'
This man, meanwhile, went home musing to bed, thinking, with a dainty pleasure, how imperious her passion was, how she had sat before him in her beauty, with the dark eyes that had never turned away but once; how the white down had fluttered; how the bird's feathers had been strewn upon the ground.
那天伊迪丝独自一人出去,回家得早。只不过十点零几分钟,她的马车就往回开进了她所居住的街道。
她的脸上仍然保持着她先前化妆时同样故意装出的镇静,她头上的花环依旧环绕在同样冷静的、沉着的前额上。可是如果能够看到这些叶片和花朵被她激动易怒的手撕得粉碎,或者被她颤动的、不知所措的头在寻找休息的地方时破坏得不成样子的话,那么这倒要比它们装饰这平静的前额更好一些。这女人是这样执拗,这样难以接近,这样不屈不挠,因此人们会认为,什么也不能使她的性格温柔下来,生活中的一切只是使它变得更为强硬。
她到达门口,正要从马车里下来的时候,有一个人不声不响地从前厅中走出来,没有戴帽,站在那里,向她伸过手来。仆人已被他推开;她没有别的选择;只好扶着它,这时候她才知道这是谁的手。
“您的病人怎样了,先生?”她轻蔑地撇着嘴,问道。
“他好些了,”卡克回答道,“他恢复得很不错。那天晚上我就离开他了。”
她低下头,正沿着楼梯往上走去的时候,他跟在后面,在楼梯底下说道:
“夫人!我是否可以请求您接见一分钟?”
她停下脚步,回过头来。“现在不是个合适的时间,先生,我也累了。您的事情紧急吗?”
“很紧急,”卡克回答道,“既然我已很幸运地遇见了您,请允许我重复我的请求吧。”
她向下往他闪闪发光的嘴巴看了一会儿,他则向上望着穿着豪华的服装、站在上面的她,心里又想着,她是多么美丽啊。
“董贝小姐在哪里?”她大声地问仆人道。
“在起居室里,夫人。”
“领到那里去!”她又把眼睛转向楼梯底下向她注视着的先生,轻轻地点了点头,表示允许他在后面跟着,然后她继续向前走去。
“请原谅!夫人!董贝夫人!”曲意奉承、动作敏捷的卡克喊道,他在片刻之间就走在她的身边,“您是否允许我请求别让董贝小姐在场?”
她很快地看了她一眼,但仍跟先前一样保持着沉着镇静的态度。
“我不想让董贝小姐听到我所要说的话,”卡克低声说道,“至少,我想由您来决定她是不是要知道这些话的内容。我这是为了您着想。这是我对您应尽的责任。从我们上次会晤以后,如果我不这样做,那就荒谬了。”
她把眼光从他脸上慢慢地移开,转向仆人,说道,“领到别的房间去。”仆人把他们领到一间会客室里,迅速地点了灯,然后离开了。当仆人还在房间里的时候,他们一个字也没有说。伊迪丝威严地坐在壁炉旁的长沙发椅上;卡克先生,手里拿着帽子,眼睛向下看着地毯,稍稍隔开一点距离,站在她的前面。
“在我听您说之前,先生,”当门关上之后,伊迪丝说道,“我希望您先听我说。”
“能听到董贝夫人对我说话,”他回答道,“即使是对我进行我不应当受到的谴责,我也认为是极大的光荣;虽然我在各方面都不是她的仆人,但我也十分心甘情愿地服从她的这个愿望。”
“如果您刚才离开的那个人委托您来向我传递口讯的话,先生,”卡克先生抬起眼睛,仿佛想要装出惊奇的样子,但是她的眼光和他的相遇了;如果他想讲话的话,她也迫使他不能开口,“那么就别打算说了,因为我不会听它。我没有必要问您是不是为了这个差使到这里来的。最近几天我正等待着您。”
“为了这样的目的到这里来,完全违背我自己的意愿,这是我的不幸。”他回答道,“请允许我说,我到这里来有两个目的。那是其中的一个。”
“那个目的已经完结了,先生,”她回答道,“如果您要回到那个目的——”
“难道董贝夫人认为,我会违背她的禁令回到那个目的上去吗?”卡克走近一些,说道,“难道董贝夫人可能毫不考虑我的不幸处境,决心把我看成是跟向我发号施令的人不可分离的,因此故意极不公道地对待我吗?”
“先生,”伊迪丝用阴沉的眼光注视着他,愈来愈激动地说着;她的高傲的鼻孔张开了,发涨的脖子变得更粗大了,她所穿的一件长衣上的精致的白色的绒毛颤抖着,那件长衣不在意地披在她的肩膀上,她的肩膀是完全配得上与这白雪般的绒毛为邻的。“您为什么一直来要在我面前扮演这种角色,跟我谈什么对我丈夫的爱情与责任,还假装出您相信我的婚姻是幸福的,我是尊敬他的?您明明知道——您并不比我不清楚,先生,我从您的每一道眼光中看到这一点,从您所说的每一个字中听到这一点——,我们两人之间没有爱情,只有厌恶与轻蔑,我蔑视他的程度并不低于我由于从属于他而蔑视我自己的程度;您明明知道这些,为什么却还敢于这样侮辱我?不公道!如果我公道地对待您使我感受到的痛苦的话,如果我公道地对待您施加给我的侮辱的话,那么我应当把您杀了才好!”
她问他过去为什么要这样做。如果她不是被她的高傲、愤怒与自卑感蒙蔽了自己的眼睛的话——尽管她恶狠狠地看着他,但是她还是被蒙蔽住了——,那么她是能从他的脸上看到答复的。现在她表白了她的意见,要求他回答。
她看不到这个答复,也不理会他脸部的表情中是不是有这个答复。她只回想起她所忍受过和必须忍受的侮辱,回想起她所进行过和必须进行的思想斗争,并正因此而感到痛苦。
当她一动不动地回想起这些感情,而好像不是注视着他的时候,她从一只珍奇的、美丽的鸟儿的翅膀(它由一根金线悬挂在她的手腕上,作为扇子)上拔下羽毛,让它们像雨点般飘落在地上。
他在她的注视下没有退缩,而是保持着一个能够作出使人充分满意的答复而且可以立即作出这种答复的人的姿态,站在那里,直到她所无法控制的愤怒的表面迹象消退为止。这时候,他直望着她的冒着火星的眼睛,说道:
“夫人,”他说道,“我明白,在今天以前就明白,我没有得到您的好感,我也明白是什么原因。是的,我明白是什么原因。您这样直言不讳地对我谈话,我得到您的这种信任,心中觉得很宽慰——”
“信任!”她轻蔑地重复着说道。
他没有理会这一点。
“——我不打算隐瞒真情。是的,我从一开始确实就看出您对董贝先生没有爱情——它怎么可能在两个截然不同的人之间存在呢?我已经看到,在您心中产生了比漠不关心更为强烈的感情——在您那样的处境下,又怎么可能不这样呢?可是我用许多话冒昧地向您声称我知道这些情况,这是适当的吗?”
“那么,先生,”她回答道,“您过去假装出相信另外一种情形的样子,一天天厚颜无耻地故意在我面前摆弄,这是适当的吗?”
“是的,夫人,这是适当的,”他急切地答辩道,“如果以前我不是这样做,如果我是另外一种做法的话,那么我就不会像现在这样对您说了。而且我预见到——我与董贝先生相处的经验比谁都多,有谁能比我更好地预见到呢?——除非您的性格显得像他第一位恭顺的夫人那样百依百顺、唯命是从——而这一点我是不相信的——”
一个傲慢的微笑使他明白:他可以重复这些话。
“我说,这一点我是不相信的,是的,我预见到,总有一天我们是会像现在这样取得谅解的,而这种谅解是有益的。”
“对谁有益,先生?”她轻蔑地问道。
“对您。我不想说对我也有益,因为我警告过我自己,千万不要对董贝先生进行甚至是有限度的赞扬(我能正直地进行这种赞扬),以免对一位怀有如此强烈的厌恶与轻蔑情绪的人说出任何没趣的话来。”他富于表情地说道。
“先生,”伊迪丝说道,“您是他首要的顾问和谄媚者,您现在表白您对他进行‘有限度的赞扬’,甚至使用了轻蔑的语气,您这是正直的吗?”
“我是他的顾问,这不错,”卡克说道,“说我是他的诌媚者,这却不是。也许我应当承认我不是个毫无隐讳的人。我们当中许多人为了谋求自身的利益与方便,通常不得不表白一些我们实际并未体验过的感情。我们每天都有谋求利益与方便的伙伴关系,谋求利益与方便的友谊,谋求利益与方便的交易,谋求利益与方便的婚姻。”
她咬住血红的嘴唇,但依旧用阴沉的、严厉的眼光注视着他。
“夫人,”卡克先生在挨近她的一张椅子中坐下,用极为谦恭、极为关切的态度说道,“既然我是完全忠实地为您效劳的,为什么现在我要迟疑不决、不痛痛快快地说呢?自然,像您这样天赋卓越的夫人,认为把她丈夫的性格的某些方面加以改变,改造得更好一些,是可以做得到的。”
“对我来说,这不是自然的,先生,”她回答道,“我从来不曾有过这种期望或意图。”
高傲的、毫无畏惧的脸孔向他表明:她坚决不戴他所献上的假面具,而准备不顾一切地暴露她的真实面貌;对于她在他这样一个人面前会以什么样的面貌出现,她毫不在乎。
“至少这是自然的,”他继续说道,“您认为您完全可能作为妻子跟董贝先生生活在一起,既不服从他,同时又不跟他发生激烈的冲突。可是,夫人,如果您这样想的话,那么您还是不了解董贝先生(正如从那时以来您所已确信的),您不了解,他的要求是多么苛刻,他是多么高傲,或者,如果我可以这么说的话,他已成为他自己高贵身份的什么样的奴隶,像一匹驮兽一样,被套在他自己的凯旋车中,向前走着,心中只有一个念头,就是凯旋车就在他的身后,需要他越过一切,穿过一切向前拉。”
当他继续说下去的时候,他的牙齿由于恶意地品尝着这种高傲自负的滋味而闪发出亮光。
“董贝先生确实不能真正关怀您,夫人,就像不能真正关怀我一样。这样的对比是走到极端了——我故意作这样的对比——,但却是十分正确的。董贝先生运用他的赫赫权势,要求我成为他和您的中间人,这是他昨天亲口对我说的;他提出这个要求是因为他知道我不是您所喜欢的人,是因为他有意使我成为您抗拒他的一种惩罚,而且还因为他确实认为,我是由他支付薪金的一名奴仆;接见像我这样的一位使者,并不是有损于一位我有幸与她谈话的夫人的尊严(在他的心目中并不存在这样一位夫人),而只不过是有损于成为他本人一部分的他的妻子的尊严而已。您可以想象,当他直率地告诉我,把这个任务交给我来办的时候,他是多么不尊重我,多么不考虑我是否还有个人的情感或意见啊。您知道,当他用这样一个传话人来威胁您的时候,他对您的感情是多么完全漠不关心啊。当然,您没有忘记他做过的事情。”
她仍然专心致志地注视着他。但是他也注视着她;他看到,他对他所知道的她跟她丈夫之间发生的某些事情的这番暗示,像一支毒箭一样,刺伤了她傲慢的心胸,使它疼痛。
“我回顾这一切并不是想要扩大您和董贝先生之间的裂口,夫人,——上天不允许!这对我有什么好处呢?——而只不过是想举例说明,当涉及到董贝先生的时候,要想使他心里考虑考虑别人,是多么没有希望的事情。我敢说,我们这些在他周围的人,都在不同的地位上,尽了我们的一分力量,来加强他的这种思想方法;可是如果我们不这样做,其他的人也会这样做,要不然他们不会待在他的周围。从一开始,这一直是他生命的要素。总之,董贝先生只跟那些顺从他的人、依赖他的人打交道,这些人在他面前俯首听命,屈膝下跪。他从来不知道跟他对抗的愤怒的高傲与强烈的怨恨是什么。”
“可是现在他将会知道了!”她好像要这么说,虽然她的嘴唇没有张开,她的眼睛没有闪动。他看到,那柔软的绒毛又一次颤抖了;他看到,她把那只美丽的鸟儿的翅膀在胸前放了片刻;他从他蜷缩进去的线圈中又放出了一圈线。
“董贝先生虽然是一位极为可敬的绅士,”他说道,“但是当他心里所想的不符合实际的时候,他却动不动歪曲事实,按照他自己的观点来进行解释。比方说,——我能举出比这更好的例子吗?——在斯丘顿夫人逝世以前,他有一次对他现在的妻子曾经提出过严厉的意见(她可能会记得这一次吧),他真心相信(请原谅我将说出的话是多么愚蠢;它们并不是由于我的愚蠢而说出的),他的这些意见已经产生了使她畏缩的效果,他那时已使她完全屈服了!”
伊迪丝大笑起来。用不着去描写那笑声是多么刺耳,多么缺乏优美的声调。只要说他喜欢听到她笑,这就足够了。
“夫人,”他继续说道,“我这就说完了。您本人的见解是那么卓越,而且我相信,是那么不可改变,”他慢吞吞地,加重语气地重复着这些话语,“所以当我说,尽管董贝先生有这些缺点,我也很了解这些缺点,但我对他已逐渐习惯,而且尊敬他的时候,我几乎担心这又要引起您的不高兴了。但是,请相信我,我这样说的时候,我并不是为了要在您面前夸耀一种跟您本人的感情完全格格不入、也不会博得您同情的感情,”——啊,这是说得多么清楚、明白啊,还加重了语气呢!——“而是为了使您确信:在这件不幸的事情中,我是您多么热诚的奴仆,我对要求我来扮演的角色是感到多么愤慨啊!”
她仿佛害怕把眼睛从他脸上移开似地坐着。
好,现在该把线圈中的最后一圈放出去了!
“时间很晚了,”卡克沉默了一会儿之后,说道,“您说您也累了。但是我不应当忘记这次会晤的第二个目的。我应当劝告您,我应当用最恳切的态度请求您——我是有充分理由这样做的——,您在向董贝小姐显示关怀的时候千万要谨慎。”
“谨慎!您这话是什么意思?”
“请您小心,别向那位小姐表露出过分的慈爱。”
“过分的慈爱,先生!”伊迪丝站起来,说道,她宽阔的前额皱了起来。“谁来评判我的慈爱或衡量它的多少?是您吗?”
“不是我做这件事。”他露出或装出为难的神色。
“那么是谁?”
“难道您猜不出是谁吗?”
“我不想猜,”她回答道。
“夫人,”他稍稍迟疑了一下之后,说道;这时候他们仍旧像先前一样彼此注视着;“我现在处境困难。您对我说过,您将不接受我传递的任何口信,您禁止我回到这个话题上去,但是我感到这两个话题是这样紧密地相互联系着,所以除非您从一个虽然事前曾引起您的不快、但现在终于荣幸地得到您的信任的人那里接受这个含糊不清的警告,否则,我就必须违犯您对我所下的禁令了。”
“您知道,您现在可以随意这样做,先生,”伊迪丝说道,“说吧。”
她是那么苍白,那么颤抖,那么激动!看来他对结果没有估计错!
“他的指示是,”他低声说道,“我应当通知您,您对董贝小姐的态度使他不愉快。它启发他进行比较,这种比较对他是不利的。他希望完全改变这种情形;如果您认真对待这件事,那么他相信情形将会完全改变,因为您继续显示慈爱,是不会给您慈爱的对象带来益处的。”
“这是威胁,”她说道。
“这是威胁,”他无声地表示同意,回答道,接着大声说道,“但不是针对您的。”
她高傲地、坚毅地、尊严地站在他面前,用睁得大大的眼睛逼视着他,轻蔑地、痛苦地微笑着;突然间,她垂头丧气,仿佛脚底下的地面已经塌陷下去似的,要不是他用胳膊抱住她,她就会倒在地板上了。他刚一接触到她,她就立即把他推开,向后退却,然后伸出一只手,又一动不动地站在他面前。
“请离开我吧。今天晚上别再说什么了。”
“我感到这一个使命十分紧迫,”卡克先生说道,“因为如果您不了解他的心情的话,那么就很难说会在多么短促的时间里,发生什么样预见不到的后果。我知道,董贝小姐现在由于她的老仆人被解雇而感到悲伤,这件事情本身很可能就是一个小小的后果,您不责怪我先前请求董贝小姐不要在场了吧?我可以指望这一点吗?”
“我不责怪您。请离开我吧,先生。”
“我知道您对那位小姐的关怀是很真诚很深切的;我深信,这种关怀将使您陷入很大的不幸;每当您想到您已损害了她的地位,毁灭了她未来的希望的时候,您内心将永远感到痛苦。”卡克急忙地,然而热切地说道。
“今天晚上不再说什么了。对不起,请离开吧。”
“我将经常不断地到这里来侍候他和处理一些业务上的事情。您允许我跟您再见一次面,商量商量应当做什么,并了解一下您的愿望,好吗?”
她对他指着门。
“我甚至打不定主意,究意是把我跟您谈的话告诉他呢,还是让他猜想我由于没找到机会或由于其他原因,把这次谈话推迟了。您应当让我很快就来跟您商量。这是必要的。”
“除了现在,什么时候都行,”她回答道。
“您知道,当我想见您的时候,董贝小姐请不要在场。我请求您允许我作为一位有幸得到您的信任、想给您提供各种力所能及的援助、也许在好多情况下想使她避开灾祸的人来跟您会晤一次好吗?”
她像先前一样望着他,好像显然害怕把他从她目不转睛的注视中放开片刻似的;不论情况是否如此,她回答道,“好吧!”,并再一次请他离开。
他好像遵从她的意愿似地鞠了躬;但是当他就要走到门边的时候,他转过身来,说道:
“我得到了宽恕,并且已经解释了我的过失,看在董贝小姐的面上,也看在我的面上,我在离开之前可不可以接触一下您的手?”
她把带了手套的手递给他,这只手就是昨夜被她打伤了的。他把它握在他的一只手中,吻了吻,离开了。当他关上门之后,他挥摇着他握过她的手的那只手,然后把它藏进胸间。
慕若涵

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Chapter 46
Recognizant and Reflective
Among sundry minor alterations in Mr Carker's life and habits that began to take place at this time, none was more remarkable than the extraordinary diligence with which he applied himself to business, and the closeness with which he investigated every detail that the affairs of the House laid open to him. Always active and penetrating in such matters, his lynx-eyed vigilance now increased twenty-fold. Not only did his weary watch keep pace with every present point that every day presented to him in some new form, but in the midst of these engrossing occupations he found leisure - that is, he made it - to review the past transactions of the Firm, and his share in them, during a long series of years. Frequently when the clerks were all gone, the offices dark and empty, and all similar places of business shut up, Mr Carker, with the whole anatomy of the iron room laid bare before him, would explore the mysteries of books and papers, with the patient progress of a man who was dissecting the minutest nerves and fibres of his subject. Perch, the messenger, who usually remained on these occasions, to entertain himself with the perusal of the Price Current by the light of one candle, or to doze over the fire in the outer office, at the imminent risk every moment of diving head foremost into the coal-box, could not withhold the tribute of his admiration from this zealous conduct, although it much contracted his domestic enjoyments; and again, and again, expatiated to Mrs Perch (now nursing twins) on the industry and acuteness of their managing gentleman in the City.
The same increased and sharp attention that Mr Carker bestowed on the business of the House, he applied to his own personal affairs. Though not a partner in the concern - a distinction hitherto reserved solely to inheritors of the great name of Dombey - he was in the receipt of some percentage on its dealings; and, participating in all its facilities for the employment of money to advantage, was considered, by the minnows among the tritons of the East, a rich man. It began to be said, among these shrewd observers, that Jem Carker, of Dombey's, was looking about him to see what he was worth; and that he was calling in his money at a good time, like the long-headed fellow he was; and bets were even offered on the Stock Exchange that Jem was going to marry a rich widow.
Yet these cares did not in the least interfere with Mr Carker's watching of his chief, or with his cleanness, neatness, sleekness, or any cat-like quality he possessed. It was not so much that there was a change in him, in reference to any of his habits, as that the whole man was intensified. Everything that had been observable in him before, was observable now, but with a greater amount of concentration. He did each single thing, as if he did nothing else - a pretty certain indication in a man of that range of ability and purpose, that he is doing something which sharpens and keeps alive his keenest powers.
The only decided alteration in him was, that as he rode to and fro along the streets, he would fall into deep fits of musing, like that in which he had come away from Mr Dombey's house, on the morning of that gentleman's disaster. At such times, he would keep clear of the obstacles in his way, mechanically; and would appear to see and hear nothing until arrival at his destination, or some sudden chance or effort roused him.
Walking his white-legged horse thus, to the counting-house of Dombey and Son one day, he was as unconscious of the observation of two pairs of women's eyes, as of the fascinated orbs of Rob the Grinder, who, in waiting a street's length from the appointed place, as a demonstration of punctuality, vainly touched and retouched his hat to attract attention, and trotted along on foot, by his master's side, prepared to hold his stirrup when he should alight.
'See where he goes!' cried one of these two women, an old creature, who stretched out her shrivelled arm to point him out to her companion, a young woman, who stood close beside her, withdrawn like herself into a gateway.
Mrs Brown's daughter looked out, at this bidding on the part of Mrs Brown; and there were wrath and vengeance in her face.
'I never thought to look at him again,' she said, in a low voice; 'but it's well I should, perhaps. I see. I see!'
'Not changed!' said the old woman, with a look of eager malice.
'He changed!' returned the other. 'What for? What has he suffered? There is change enough for twenty in me. Isn't that enough?'
'See where he goes!' muttered the old woman, watching her daughter with her red eyes; 'so easy and so trim a-horseback, while we are in the mud.'
'And of it,' said her daughter impatiently. 'We are mud, underneath his horse's feet. What should we be?'
In the intentness with which she looked after him again, she made a hasty gesture with her hand when the old woman began to reply, as if her view could be obstructed by mere sound. Her mother watching her, and not him, remained silent; until her kindling glance subsided, and she drew a long breath, as if in the relief of his being gone.
'Deary!' said the old woman then. 'Alice! Handsome gall Ally!' She gently shook her sleeve to arouse her attention. 'Will you let him go like that, when you can wring money from him? Why, it's a wickedness, my daughter.'
'Haven't I told you, that I will not have money from him?' she returned. 'And don't you yet believe me? Did I take his sister's money? Would I touch a penny, if I knew it, that had gone through his white hands - unless it was, indeed, that I could poison it, and send it back to him? Peace, mother, and come away.
'And him so rich?' murmured the old woman. 'And us so poor!'
'Poor in not being able to pay him any of the harm we owe him,' returned her daughter. 'Let him give me that sort of riches, and I'll take them from him, and use them. Come away. Its no good looking at his horse. Come away, mother!'
But the old woman, for whom the spectacle of Rob the Grinder returning down the street, leading the riderless horse, appeared to have some extraneous interest that it did not possess in itself, surveyed that young man with the utmost earnestness; and seeming to have whatever doubts she entertained, resolved as he drew nearer, glanced at her daughter with brightened eyes and with her finger on her lip, and emerging from the gateway at the moment of his passing, touched him on the shoulder.
'Why, where's my sprightly Rob been, all this time!' she said, as he turned round.
The sprightly Rob, whose sprightliness was very much diminished by the salutation, looked exceedingly dismayed, and said, with the water rising in his eyes:
'Oh! why can't you leave a poor cove alone, Misses Brown, when he's getting an honest livelihood and conducting himself respectable? What do you come and deprive a cove of his character for, by talking to him in the streets, when he's taking his master's horse to a honest stable - a horse you'd go and sell for cats' and dogs' meat if you had your way! Why, I thought,' said the Grinder, producing his concluding remark as if it were the climax of all his injuries, 'that you was dead long ago!'
'This is the way,' cried the old woman, appealing to her daughter, 'that he talks to me, who knew him weeks and months together, my deary, and have stood his friend many and many a time among the pigeon-fancying tramps and bird-catchers.'
'Let the birds be, will you, Misses Brown?' retorted Rob, in a tone of the acutest anguish. 'I think a cove had better have to do with lions than them little creeturs, for they're always flying back in your face when you least expect it. Well, how d'ye do and what do you want?' These polite inquiries the Grinder uttered, as it were under protest, and with great exasperation and vindictiveness.
'Hark how he speaks to an old friend, my deary!' said Mrs Brown, again appealing to her daughter. 'But there's some of his old friends not so patient as me. If I was to tell some that he knows, and has spotted and cheated with, where to find him - '
'Will you hold your tongue, Misses Brown?' interrupted the miserable Grinder, glancing quickly round, as though he expected to see his master's teeth shining at his elbow. 'What do you take a pleasure in ruining a cove for? At your time of life too! when you ought to be thinking of a variety of things!'
'What a gallant horse!' said the old woman, patting the animal's neck.
'Let him alone, will you, Misses Brown?' cried Rob, pushing away her hand. 'You're enough to drive a penitent cove mad!'
'Why, what hurt do I do him, child?' returned the old woman.
'Hurt?' said Rob. 'He's got a master that would find it out if he was touched with a straw.' And he blew upon the place where the old woman's hand had rested for a moment, and smoothed it gently with his finger, as if he seriously believed what he said.
The old woman looking back to mumble and mouth at her daughter, who followed, kept close to Rob's heels as he walked on with the bridle in his hand; and pursued the conversation.
'A good place, Rob, eh?' said she. 'You're in luck, my child.'
'Oh don't talk about luck, Misses Brown,' returned the wretched Grinder, facing round and stopping. 'If you'd never come, or if you'd go away, then indeed a cove might be considered tolerable lucky. Can't you go along, Misses Brown, and not foller me!' blubbered Rob, with sudden defiance. 'If the young woman's a friend of yours, why don't she take you away, instead of letting you make yourself so disgraceful!'
'What!' croaked the old woman, putting her face close to his, with a malevolent grin upon it that puckered up the loose skin down in her very throat. 'Do you deny your old chum! Have you lurked to my house fifty times, and slept sound in a corner when you had no other bed but the paving-stones, and do you talk to me like this! Have I bought and sold with you, and helped you in my way of business, schoolboy, sneak, and what not, and do you tell me to go along? Could I raise a crowd of old company about you to-morrow morning, that would follow you to ruin like copies of your own shadow, and do you turn on me with your bold looks! I'll go. Come, Alice.'
'Stop, Misses Brown!' cried the distracted Grinder. 'What are you doing of? Don't put yourself in a passion! Don't let her go, if you please. I haven't meant any offence. I said "how d'ye do," at first, didn't I? But you wouldn't answer. How you do? Besides,' said Rob piteously, 'look here! How can a cove stand talking in the street with his master's prad a wanting to be took to be rubbed down, and his master up to every individgle thing that happens!'
The old woman made a show of being partially appeased, but shook her head, and mouthed and muttered still.
'Come along to the stables, and have a glass of something that's good for you, Misses Brown, can't you?' said Rob, 'instead of going on, like that, which is no good to you, nor anybody else. Come along with her, will you be so kind?' said Rob. 'I'm sure I'm delighted to see her, if it wasn't for the horse!'
With this apology, Rob turned away, a rueful picture of despair, and walked his charge down a bye street' The old woman, mouthing at her daughter, followed close upon him. The daughter followed.
Turning into a silent little square or court-yard that had a great church tower rising above it, and a packer's warehouse, and a bottle-maker's warehouse, for its places of business, Rob the Grinder delivered the white-legged horse to the hostler of a quaint stable at the corner; and inviting Mrs Brown and her daughter to seat themselves upon a stone bench at the gate of that establishment, soon reappeared from a neighbouring public-house with a pewter measure and a glass.
'Here's master - Mr Carker, child!' said the old woman, slowly, as her sentiment before drinking. 'Lord bless him!'
'Why, I didn't tell you who he was,' observed Rob, with staring eyes.
'We know him by sight,' said Mrs Brown, whose working mouth and nodding head stopped for the moment, in the fixedness of her attention. 'We saw him pass this morning, afore he got off his horse; when you were ready to take it.'
'Ay, ay,' returned Rob, appearing to wish that his readiness had carried him to any other place. - 'What's the matter with her? Won't she drink?'
This inquiry had reference to Alice, who, folded in her cloak, sat a little apart, profoundly inattentive to his offer of the replenished glass.
The old woman shook her head. 'Don't mind her,' she said; 'she's a strange creetur, if you know'd her, Rob. But Mr Carker
'Hush!' said Rob, glancing cautiously up at the packer's, and at the bottle-maker's, as if, from any one of the tiers of warehouses, Mr Carker might be looking down. 'Softly.'
'Why, he ain't here!' cried Mrs Brown.
'I don't know that,' muttered Rob, whose glance even wandered to the church tower, as if he might be there, with a supernatural power of hearing.
'Good master?' inquired Mrs Brown.
Rob nodded; and added, in a low voice, 'precious sharp.'
'Lives out of town, don't he, lovey?' said the old woman.
'When he's at home,' returned Rob; 'but we don't live at home just now.'
'Where then?' asked the old woman.
'Lodgings; up near Mr Dombey's,' returned Rob.
The younger woman fixed her eyes so searchingly upon him, and so suddenly, that Rob was quite confounded, and offered the glass again, but with no more effect upon her than before.
'Mr Dombey - you and I used to talk about him, sometimes, you know,' said Rob to Mrs Brown. 'You used to get me to talk about him.'
The old woman nodded.
'Well, Mr Dombey, he's had a fall from his horse,' said Rob, unwillingly; 'and my master has to be up there, more than usual, either with him, or Mrs Dombey, or some of 'em; and so we've come to town.'
'Are they good friends, lovey?'asked the old woman.
'Who?' retorted Rob.
'He and she?'
'What, Mr and Mrs Dombey?' said Rob. 'How should I know!'
'Not them - Master and Mrs Dombey, chick,' replied the old woman, coaxingly.
'I don't know,' said Rob, looking round him again. 'I suppose so. How curious you are, Misses Brown! Least said, soonest mended.'
'Why there's no harm in it!' exclaimed the old woman, with a laugh, and a clap of her hands. 'Sprightly Rob, has grown tame since he has been well off! There's no harm in It.
'No, there's no harm in it, I know,' returned Rob, with the same distrustful glance at the packer's and the bottle-maker's, and the church; 'but blabbing, if it's only about the number of buttons on my master's coat, won't do. I tell you it won't do with him. A cove had better drown himself. He says so. I shouldn't have so much as told you what his name was, if you hadn't known it. Talk about somebody else.'
As Rob took another cautious survey of the yard, the old woman made a secret motion to her daughter. It was momentary, but the daughter, with a slight look of intelligence, withdrew her eyes from the boy's face, and sat folded in her cloak as before.
'Rob, lovey!' said the old woman, beckoning him to the other end of the bench. 'You were always a pet and favourite of mine. Now, weren't you? Don't you know you were?'
'Yes, Misses Brown,' replied the Grinder, with a very bad grace.
'And you could leave me!' said the old woman, flinging her arms about his neck. 'You could go away, and grow almost out of knowledge, and never come to tell your poor old friend how fortunate you were, proud lad! Oho, Oho!'
'Oh here's a dreadful go for a cove that's got a master wide awake in the neighbourhood!' exclaimed the wretched Grinder. 'To be howled over like this here!'
'Won't you come and see me, Robby?' cried Mrs Brown. 'Oho, won't you ever come and see me?'
'Yes, I tell you! Yes, I will!' returned the Grinder.
'That's my own Rob! That's my lovey!' said Mrs Brown, drying the tears upon her shrivelled face, and giving him a tender squeeze. 'At the old place, Rob?'
'Yes,' replied the Grinder.
'Soon, Robby dear?' cried Mrs Brown; 'and often?'
'Yes. Yes. Yes,' replied Rob. 'I will indeed, upon my soul and body.'
'And then,' said Mrs Brown, with her arms uplifted towards the sky, and her head thrown back and shaking, 'if he's true to his word, I'll never come a-near him though I know where he is, and never breathe a syllable about him! Never!'
This ejaculation seemed a drop of comfort to the miserable Grinder, who shook Mrs Brown by the hand upon it, and implored her with tears in his eyes, to leave a cove and not destroy his prospects. Mrs Brown, with another fond embrace, assented; but in the act of following her daughter, turned back, with her finger stealthily raised, and asked in a hoarse whisper for some money.
'A shilling, dear!' she said, with her eager avaricious face, 'or sixpence! For old acquaintance sake. I'm so poor. And my handsome gal' - looking over her shoulder - 'she's my gal, Rob - half starves me.
But as the reluctant Grinder put it in her hand, her daughter, coming quietly back, caught the hand in hen, and twisted out the coin.
'What,' she said, 'mother! always money! money from the first, and to the last' Do you mind so little what I said but now? Here. Take it!'
The old woman uttered a moan as the money was restored, but without in any other way opposing its restoration, hobbled at her daughter's side out of the yard, and along the bye street upon which it opened. The astonished and dismayed Rob staring after them, saw that they stopped, and fell to earnest conversation very soon; and more than once observed a darkly threatening action of the younger woman's hand (obviously having reference to someone of whom they spoke), and a crooning feeble imitation of it on the part of Mrs Brown, that made him earnestly hope he might not be the subject of their discourse.
With the present consolation that they were gone, and with the prospective comfort that Mrs Brown could not live for ever, and was not likely to live long to trouble him, the Grinder, not otherwise regretting his misdeeds than as they were attended with such disagreeable incidental consequences, composed his ruffled features to a more serene expression by thinking of the admirable manner in which he had disposed of Captain Cuttle (a reflection that seldom failed to put him in a flow of spirits), and went to the Dombey Counting House to receive his master's orders.
There his master, so subtle and vigilant of eye, that Rob quaked before him, more than half expecting to be taxed with Mrs Brown, gave him the usual morning's box of papers for Mr Dombey, and a note for Mrs Dombey: merely nodding his head as an enjoinder to be careful, and to use dispatch - a mysterious admonition, fraught in the Grinder's imagination with dismal warnings and threats; and more powerful with him than any words.
Alone again, in his own room, Mr Carker applied himself to work, and worked all day. He saw many visitors; overlooked a number of documents; went in and out, to and from, sundry places of mercantile resort; and indulged in no more abstraction until the day's business was done. But, when the usual clearance of papers from his table was made at last, he fell into his thoughtful mood once more.
He was standing in his accustomed place and attitude, with his eyes intently fixed upon the ground, when his brother entered to bring back some letters that had been taken out in the course of the day. He put them quietly on the table, and was going immediately, when Mr Carker the Manager, whose eyes had rested on him, on his entrance, as if they had all this time had him for the subject of their contemplation, instead of the office-floor, said:
'Well, John Carker, and what brings you here?'
His brother pointed to the letters, and was again withdrawing.
'I wonder,' said the Manager, 'that you can come and go, without inquiring how our master is'.
'We had word this morning in the Counting House, that Mr Dombey was doing well,' replied his brother.
'You are such a meek fellow,' said the Manager, with a smile, - 'but you have grown so, in the course of years - that if any harm came to him, you'd be miserable, I dare swear now.'
'I should be truly sorry, James,' returned the other.
'He would be sorry!' said the Manager, pointing at him, as if there were some other person present to whom he was appealing. 'He would be truly sorry! This brother of mine! This junior of the place, this slighted piece of lumber, pushed aside with his face to the wall, like a rotten picture, and left so, for Heaven knows how many years he's all gratitude and respect, and devotion too, he would have me believe!'
'I would have you believe nothing, James,' returned the other. 'Be as just to me as you would to any other man below you. You ask a question, and I answer it.'
'And have you nothing, Spaniel,' said the Manager, with unusual irascibility, 'to complain of in him? No proud treatment to resent, no insolence, no foolery of state, no exaction of any sort! What the devil! are you man or mouse?'
'It would be strange if any two persons could be together for so many years, especially as superior and inferior, without each having something to complain of in the other - as he thought, at all events, replied John Carker. 'But apart from my history here - '
'His history here!' exclaimed the Manager. 'Why, there it is. The very fact that makes him an extreme case, puts him out of the whole chapter! Well?'
'Apart from that, which, as you hint, gives me a reason to be thankful that I alone (happily for all the rest) possess, surely there is no one in the House who would not say and feel at least as much. You do not think that anybody here would be indifferent to a mischance or misfortune happening to the head of the House, or anything than truly sorry for it?'
'You have good reason to be bound to him too!' said the Manager, contemptuously. 'Why, don't you believe that you are kept here, as a cheap example, and a famous instance of the clemency of Dombey and Son, redounding to the credit of the illustrious House?'
'No,' replied his brother, mildly, 'I have long believed that I am kept here for more kind and disinterested reasons.
'But you were going,' said the Manager, with the snarl of a tiger-cat, 'to recite some Christian precept, I observed.'
'Nay, James,' returned the other, 'though the tie of brotherhood between us has been long broken and thrown away - '
'Who broke it, good Sir?' said the Manager.
'I, by my misconduct. I do not charge it upon you.'
The Manager replied, with that mute action of his bristling mouth, 'Oh, you don't charge it upon me!' and bade him go on.
'I say, though there is not that tie between us, do not, I entreat, assail me with unnecessary taunts, or misinterpret what I say, or would say. I was only going to suggest to you that it would be a mistake to suppose that it is only you, who have been selected here, above all others, for advancement, confidence and distinction (selected, in the beginning, I know, for your great ability and trustfulness), and who communicate more freely with Mr Dombey than anyone, and stand, it may be said, on equal terms with him, and have been favoured and enriched by him - that it would be a mistake to suppose that it is only you who are tender of his welfare and reputation. There is no one in the House, from yourself down to the lowest, I sincerely believe, who does not participate in that feeling.'
'You lie!' said the Manager, red with sudden anger. 'You're a hypocrite, John Carker, and you lie.'
'James!' cried the other, flushing in his turn. 'What do you mean by these insulting words? Why do you so basely use them to me, unprovoked?'
'I tell you,' said the Manager, 'that your hypocrisy and meekness - that all the hypocrisy and meekness of this place - is not worth that to me,' snapping his thumb and finger, 'and that I see through it as if it were air! There is not a man employed here, standing between myself and the lowest in place (of whom you are very considerate, and with reason, for he is not far off), who wouldn't be glad at heart to see his master humbled: who does not hate him, secretly: who does not wish him evil rather than good: and who would not turn upon him, if he had the power and boldness. The nearer to his favour, the nearer to his insolence; the closer to him, the farther from him. That's the creed here!'
'I don't know,' said his brother, whose roused feelings had soon yielded to surprise, 'who may have abused your ear with such representations; or why you have chosen to try me, rather than another. But that you have been trying me, and tampering with me, I am now sure. You have a different manner and a different aspect from any that I ever saw m you. I will only say to you, once more, you are deceived.'
'I know I am,' said the Manager. 'I have told you so.'
'Not by me,' returned his brother. 'By your informant, if you have one. If not, by your own thoughts and suspicions.'
'I have no suspicions,' said the Manager. 'Mine are certainties. You pusillanimous, abject, cringing dogs! All making the same show, all canting the same story, all whining the same professions, all harbouring the same transparent secret.'
His brother withdrew, without saying more, and shut the door as he concluded. Mr Carker the Manager drew a chair close before the fire, and fell to beating the coals softly with the poker.
'The faint-hearted, fawning knaves,' he muttered, with his two shining rows of teeth laid bare. 'There's not one among them, who wouldn't feign to be so shocked and outraged - ! Bah! There's not one among them, but if he had at once the power, and the wit and daring to use it, would scatter Dombey's pride and lay it low, as ruthlessly as I rake out these ashes.'
As he broke them up and strewed them in the grate, he looked on with a thoughtful smile at what he was doing. 'Without the same queen beckoner too!' he added presently; 'and there is pride there, not to be forgotten - witness our own acquaintance!' With that he fell into a deeper reverie, and sat pondering over the blackening grate, until he rose up like a man who had been absorbed in a book, and looking round him took his hat and gloves, went to where his horse was waiting, mounted, and rode away through the lighted streets, for it was evening.
He rode near Mr Dombey's house; and falling into a walk as he approached it, looked up at the windows The window where he had once seen Florence sitting with her dog attracted his attention first, though there was no light in it; but he smiled as he carried his eyes up the tall front of the house, and seemed to leave that object superciliously behind.
'Time was,' he said, 'when it was well to watch even your rising little star, and know in what quarter there were clouds, to shadow you if needful. But a planet has arisen, and you are lost in its light.'
He turned the white-legged horse round the street corner, and sought one shining window from among those at the back of the house. Associated with it was a certain stately presence, a gloved hand, the remembrance how the feathers of a beautiful bird's wing had been showered down upon the floor, and how the light white down upon a robe had stirred and rustled, as in the rising of a distant storm. These were the things he carried with him as he turned away again, and rode through the darkening and deserted Parks at a quick rate.
In fatal truth, these were associated with a woman, a proud woman, who hated him, but who by slow and sure degrees had been led on by his craft, and her pride and resentment, to endure his company, and little by little to receive him as one who had the privilege to talk to her of her own defiant disregard of her own husband, and her abandonment of high consideration for herself. They were associated with a woman who hated him deeply, and who knew him, and who mistrusted him because she knew him, and because he knew her; but who fed her fierce resentment by suffering him to draw nearer and yet nearer to her every day, in spite of the hate she cherished for him. In spite of it! For that very reason; since in its depths, too far down for her threatening eye to pierce, though she could see into them dimly, lay the dark retaliation, whose faintest shadow seen once and shuddered at, and never seen again, would have been sufficient stain upon her soul.
Did the phantom of such a woman flit about him on his ride; true to the reality, and obvious to him?
Yes. He saw her in his mind, exactly as she was. She bore him company with her pride, resentment, hatred, all as plain to him as her beauty; with nothing plainer to him than her hatred of him. He saw her sometimes haughty and repellent at his side, and some times down among his horse's feet, fallen and in the dust. But he always saw her as she was, without disguise, and watched her on the dangerous way that she was going.
And when his ride was over, and he was newly dressed, and came into the light of her bright room with his bent head, soft voice, and soothing smile, he saw her yet as plainly. He even suspected the mystery of the gloved hand, and held it all the longer in his own for that suspicion. Upon the dangerous way that she was going, he was, still; and not a footprint did she mark upon it, but he set his own there, straight'
这时候在卡克先生的生活与习惯中开始发生各种微小的变化,最引人注目的是,他异常勤勉地致力于公司的业务,并精心研究摆在他面前的公司各项交易的细节。他对这些事情本来一直是感觉灵敏、观察细致的,现在他的山猫眼睛般的警觉性又增加了二十倍。不仅仅是他疲累的眼睛密切注视着每天以某种新形式出现在他面前的当前的各种情况,而且他还从这些耗费精力的繁忙工作中找到闲暇时间(这是他设法挤出来的)来重新审查公司过去许多年中的交易以及他所参与的部分。时常,当公司的职员都走了,办公室黑暗无人,所有的业务机构也都已关闭了的时候,保险柜里的一切东西都像解剖开的身体一样摊开在卡克先生的面前,他则像一位医生正在仔细剖析他的病人的最微细的神经与纤维那样,耐心地探索着帐册与单据中的秘密。在这种情况下,信差珀奇先生通常留在外面的办公室中,在一支蜡烛的亮光下,阅读行市表消遣,或者对着炉火打瞌睡,每分钟都可能发生头向下撞进煤箱里去的危险。虽然这大大地缩短了他家庭娱乐的时间,但他对卡克先生这种热心工作的表现却不能不大加赞扬。他向珀奇太太(她现在抚养着一对双胞胎)一遍又一遍地详细谈论着他们城里经理先生的勤勉与精明。
卡克先生以对待公司业务同样增强的、敏锐的注意力来处理他的个人事务。他虽然不是公司的合伙人(迄今为止,只有董贝这个伟大姓氏的继承人才能享有这个光荣的称号),但他从它的交易中收取一定的佣金;而且,他还参与公司的有利的投资活动,所以在东方贸易业巨鲸四周的小鱼儿们都把他看成是一位阔老。机灵的观察者们开始谈论,董贝公司的杰姆•卡克在计算他的资本;他是个聪明人,正在合适的时候收回他的钱;在证券交易所里甚至有人打赌说,杰姆将要娶一位有钱的寡妇。
不过这些丝毫也不妨碍卡克先生侍候他的老板,也丝毫不妨碍他保持干净、整洁、圆滑或任何猫般的特性。与其说他的习惯有什么变化,还不如说他整个人比过去更精练了。在他身上过去可以看到的一切东西,现在仍然可以看得到,只是现在表现得更为集中罢了。他做每件事情的时候,就仿佛他不做任何其他的事情似的;——对一位具有这样能力与意图的人来说,这相当明确地表明,他正在做某件事情来磨练与激励他最敏锐的才能。
他的唯一显著的变化是,当他骑着马在街上来来去去的时候,他深深地陷入沉思之中,就像董贝先生遭到不幸的那天早上,他从那位先生家里走出来时的情形一样。在这种时候,他不假思索地自动避开路上的一切障碍物,好像什么也没有看见,什么也没有听见,一直到达目的地为止,除非突然发生什么意外的事情或突然需要作出什么努力,才能使他从沉思中惊醒过来。
有一天他这样骑着他的白腿的马,向董贝父子公司的办公室行进的时候,他既没有留意到两位女人的眼睛在注视着他,也没有留意到磨工罗布为了表明他严守时间,正在离指定地点更近一条街的地方等候着他,圆圆的眼睛正被他吸引住;罗布徒劳地一次又一次把手举到帽檐向他行礼,以便吸引他的注意,然后在他主人身旁急匆匆地走着,准备在他下马的时候立即抓住马蹬。
“看,他骑过去了!”这两位女人当中的一位喊道;她是一位老太婆,伸出满是皱纹的手,把他指给她的同伴看;她的同伴是一位年轻女人,站在她的身旁,跟他一样退避到一个门道里。
布朗太太的女儿沿着布朗太太指点的方向望出去,脸上露出愤怒与渴望报仇的神色。
“我从来没有想到会再见到他,”她低声说道;“不过也许我见到他是件好事。我看到了。我看到了!”
“样子没有变化!”老太婆十分怨恨地看了一眼,说道。
“他变化!”另外一位回答道。“为什么会变化?他受过什么苦吗?我一个人的变化抵得上二十个人的。难道这还不够吗?”
“看,他往那里骑过去了!”老太婆用发红的眼睛注视着她的女儿,嘟囔着说道,“那么悠闲自在,那么整洁漂亮,还骑着马,而我们却站在污泥里——”
“而且是从污泥里出来的,”她的女儿不耐烦地说道,“我们是他马蹄下的污泥。我们还能是什么?”
她又用全神贯注的眼光从后面望着他;当老太婆想要回答的时候,她急忙摇摇手,仿佛连也会阻挡她的视线似的。她的母亲注视着她,而没有注视他,并保持着沉默,直到后来那冒着火星的眼睛平静下来了,她又深深地吸了一口气,仿佛由于看不到他而感到安慰似的。
“宝贝!”这时候老太婆说道。“艾丽斯!漂亮的女儿!艾丽!”她慢慢地摇摆着她的袖子来引起她的注意。“你是能从他那里敲出钱来的呀,你就让他那样过去吗?唔,这是罪恶,我的女儿。”
“难道我没有告诉过你,我不要他的钱吗?”她回答道。
“难道你到现在还不相信我吗?我曾接受过他姐姐的钱了吗?如果我知道有什么钱通过他雪白的手送来的,难道我会去摸一个便士吗?除非我能在上面涂上毒药,再送还给他!别说了,妈妈,我们离开这里吧。”
“让他那么有钱?”老太婆嘟囔着,“而我们就这么穷苦可怜!”
“我们可怜,是由于他给我们造成了伤害,而我们却不能对他报仇雪恨;”女儿回答道,“让他给我那种财富吧,我将从他那里取得它并使用它。走吧,看他的马没有用。走吧,妈妈!”
但是老太婆这时看到磨工罗布牵着没有人骑着的马,沿着街道回来,她好像产生了超出这件事情本身的某种兴趣,非常认真地打量着这位年轻人。当他走近的时候,她好像要解决心头的什么疑问似的,用炯炯有神的眼睛看了她女儿一眼,并把一个指头贴在嘴唇上;当他正从这里经过的时候,她从门道里走出来,碰了一下他的肩膀。
“喂,我活泼的罗布这些时候都在哪里呀?”他回过头来时候,她问道。
活泼的罗布听到这个问候,减少了不少活泼,表现出十分惊愕的样子,眼中含着泪水,说道:
“啊,布朗太太,一个可怜的小伙子正在规规矩矩地挣钱过活,体体面面地做人,您为什么不让他平平静静地过日子,不去打搅他呢?他正把他主人的马牵到一个规矩可靠的马厩去,您为什么跑过来,在街道上跟他讲话,败坏他的名声呢?——这匹马要是由您去处理的话,您是会把它卖掉,再买肉来喂猫喂狗的!哎呀,我还以为,”磨工说了一句结尾的话,仿佛他所受的一切委屈已到达顶点似的,“您老早以前就已死掉了呢!”
“我亲爱的,”老太婆向她的女儿大声哀诉道,“我认识他已有好多个星期、好多个月了;有好多次,那些卖鸽子的流浪者和捉鸽子的人欺负他,都是我帮助了他,可是他现在竟这样对我说话!”
“让那些鸟儿安安静静,别去打扰它们吧,好不好,布朗太太?”罗布用极度痛苦的声调反驳道,“我想,一个年轻小伙子最好是跟狮子打交道,而不要去跟这些小东西打交道,因为它们常常会在您最意想不到的时候飞回到您的脸上来。唔,您好吗?您需要什么?”罗布说出这些有礼貌的话,仿佛是极不愿意,极为激愤和怨恨似的。
“你听,我的宝贝,他是怎样跟一位老朋友讲话的!”布朗太太又向她女儿哀诉道,“但是他有几位老朋友可不像我这么耐性。如果我去告诉几个他认识、他曾经跟他们玩乐,并欺骗过他们的朋友,到哪里去找到他的话——”
“您住嘴好不好,布朗太太?”可怜的磨工打断她的话,说道,一边迅速地向四周看了一眼,仿佛预料会在近旁看到他的主人的牙齿正在闪发出亮光似的,“您想毁掉一个年轻小伙子来取乐,这是为什么呢?像您这样岁数的人,本应该想各种各样事情的,为什么还要这样呢?”
“多么雄壮的马!”老太婆拍拍马背,说道。
“别去动他好不好,布朗太太?”罗布把她的手推开,大声喊道,“您真要把一位悔过自新的年轻小伙子逼得发疯了!”
“嘿,我伤害它什么啦,孩子?”老太婆回答道。
“伤害?”罗布说道,“您就是用稻草碰它一下,它的主人也能发觉。”他把老太婆的手碰过的地方吹了吹,用手指轻轻地把它抚平,仿佛他当真相信他所说的话似的。
老太婆回头望了望跟随在后面的女儿,向她嘀咕了一句并歪歪嘴巴;当罗布手里拿着缰绳继续向前走去的时候,她紧紧跟在他的后面,继续和他交谈。
“你有了个好差使了,罗布,是不是?”她说道,“你走运了,我的孩子。”
“唉,别谈走运了,布朗太太,”可怜的磨工左顾右盼,停住脚步,回答道,“如果您没有遇见我,或者如果您走开的话,那么,说实在的,一位年轻小伙子可以说是相当走运了。您离开我吧,布朗太太,别在我后面跟着!”罗布突然反抗地哇哇大哭起来,“如果那位年轻的女人是您的一位朋友的话,那么她为什么不把您领开,而让您这样丢脸呢!”
“什么!”老太婆用哭丧的说道,一边把脸凑近他的脸,对它龇牙咧嘴地笑了笑,她脖子上松弛的皮肤都因而往下垂挂着了。“你竟翻脸不认你的老朋友了!过去当你除了石砌的道路,找不到别的床铺的时候,难道你不曾五十次偷偷地躲藏在我家里,在角落里呼呼大睡吗?现在你竟居然这样对我这样说话!难道我过去不曾跟你一道去买卖,还帮助你这小学生偷偷地逃学,还有什么我不曾做过的,而你现在竟居然叫我走开!难道我不能在明天早上把你过去的一群伙伴召集起来,像你的许多影子一样,跟随着你,把你彻底搞垮吗?你现在竟居然放肆无礼地看着我!我就走。艾丽斯,我们走吧!”
“站住,布朗太太!”心烦意乱的磨工喊道,“您这是干什么来着?您别生气!请别让她走。我完全不想冒犯您。我开头的时候不是对您说过,‘您好吗?’是不是?可是您不愿意回答。您好吗?还有一点,”罗布可怜巴巴地说道,“请听我说!一位年轻小伙子需要把他主人的马牵去洗刷干净,而他的主人又是个什么丁点小事都能觉察出来的人,这时他怎么能站在街上跟人讲话呢?”
老太婆装出稍稍息怒的样子,但仍然摇着头,歪着嘴巴,嘟囔着。
“跟我到马厩去,喝一杯对您身体有益的东西,好不好,布朗太太?”罗布说道,“不要像现在这样闲荡着,那对您,对其他任何人都没有好处。您肯不肯跟她一道跟我来?”罗布说道,“说真的,要不是有这匹马的话,我真高兴见到她!”
罗布这样赔了礼之后,拐了一个弯,牵着马沿着一条小街走去,这时他那神态真是一幅悲观绝望的悲惨图景。老太婆向她女儿歪歪嘴,紧紧跟在他后面。女儿随后跟着。
他们转进一个寂静的小广场,或者说得正确些,一个院子里。一座雄伟的教堂钟楼巍然耸立在这里,还有一个包装作坊的仓库和一个酒瓶厂的仓库也坐落在这里。磨工罗布把那匹白腿的马交给院子角落里一所旧式马厩的马夫,请布朗太太和她的女儿坐在马厩门口的石长凳上,不久他就从邻近的酒吧里出来,拿着一只白镴的酒壶和一只酒杯。
“孩子,为你的主人卡克先生的健康干杯!”老太婆在喝酒之前慢吞吞地说出她的祝愿。“天主保佑他!”
“怎么!我以前没跟您说过我的主人是谁啊?”罗布眼睛张得大大地说道。
“我们认得他,”布朗太太说道,她专心致志地注视着他,连她那动作着的嘴巴和摇晃着的脑袋也暂停了片刻。“我们今天早上看到他从我们身边经过,后来他下了马,你在那里等着把它牵走。”
“是的,是的,”罗布回答道,好像后悔没有在任何别的地方等候他似的。——“她怎么了?她为什么不喝?”
这个问题是指艾丽斯而提出的。她紧裹在斗篷里,坐在稍稍离开一点的地方,对他递上来的重新斟满的酒杯丝毫也不理会。
老太婆摇摇头。“别管她,”她说道;“如果你了解她的话,你就会知道她是个古怪的人,罗布。可是卡克先生——”
“别作声!”罗布说道,一边偷偷地朝包装作坊的仓库和酒瓶厂的仓库张望,仿佛卡克先生可能会从这些仓库的任何一排房屋中往这边窥视似的。“说得轻一点。”
“唔,他不在这里!”布朗太太喊道。
“我不知道这,”罗布嘟囔道,他甚至朝教堂钟楼看了一眼,仿佛具有超自然听觉的卡克先生可能躲藏在那里似的。
“他是一位好主人吧?”布朗太太问道。
罗布点点头,又低声补充了一句,“非常精明厉害。”
“他住在城外,是不是,亲爱的孩子?”老太婆问道。
“当他在家里的时候,他是住在城外,”罗布回答道,“可是我们现在不住在家里。”
“那么住在哪里呢?”老太婆问道。
“住在一栋出租的房屋里,跟董贝先生的家很挨近的,”罗布回答道。
年轻的女人眼睛那么锐利地、那么突然地注视着他,弄得罗布十分惊慌失措;他又向她递过酒杯,但跟先前一样没有成功。
“董贝先生——您知道,有时候,您和我常常谈到他,”罗布对布朗太太说道,“您过去常常想法让我谈到他。”
老太婆点点头。
“唔,董贝先生,他从马上摔下来了,”罗布不愿意地说道,“我的主人不得不比往常更多次地到那里去,不是跟他在一起,就是跟董贝夫人在一起,再不就是跟他们当中的什么人在一起,所以我们就搬到城里去住了。”
“他们是不是好朋友,亲爱的孩子?”老太婆问道。
“谁?”罗布反问道。
“他跟她?”
“什么,董贝先生跟董贝夫人吗?”罗布说道,“这我怎么能知道!”
“不是说他们,小宝宝,我是说你的主人跟董贝夫人,”老太婆哄着他,回答道。
“我不知道,”罗布又向四周看看,说道,“我猜想是这样。
您的好奇心多重呵,布朗太太!言多必失,少说为好。”
“哎呀,这没有什么害处!”老太婆大笑了一声,拍了一拍手,高声说道,“活泼的罗布走运之后变得驯服了!这没有什么害处。”
“是的,我知道,这没有什么害处,”罗布回答道,一边像先前一样怀疑地看了看包装作坊的仓库、酒瓶工厂的仓库和教堂的钟楼;“但是决不能泄漏秘密,哪怕只是谈谈我主人上衣的钮扣也不行。我告诉您,这种事他是不容许的。要不然,一位年轻小伙子还不如把自己淹死更好一些。他就是这样说的。如果您不知道的话,我连他的名字也不会告诉您。让我们谈谈别的什么人吧。”
当罗布又小心翼翼地向院子里察看的时候,老太婆暗地里向她女儿作了个示意的动作,这是一刹那的工夫,但是她的女儿表示领会,就把眼光从孩子的脸上移回,像先前一样紧裹在她的斗篷里。
“罗布,亲爱的!”老太婆招呼他在长凳的另一端坐下。
“你过去是我宠爱的宝贝孩子。是的,可不是这样吗?难道你不知道你过去是这样的吗?”
“我知道,布朗太太,”磨工很勉强地回答道。
“可是你却能忍心把我抛弃!”老太婆用胳膊搂着他的脖子,说道,“你却能忍心离开我,躲藏得几乎无影无踪,也从来不跟你的老朋友说说你已交了多么好的运气,你这个骄傲的孩子呀!嗬嗬,嗬嗬!”
“唉,一位年轻的小伙子在这里这样嚎啕大哭着,而他的主人就在附近留神瞧着,这对他是多么可怕的事啊!”不幸的磨工高声喊道。
“你以后不来看看我吗,罗贝?”布朗太太喊道,“嗬嗬,你以后就一次也不来看看我吗?”
“会来看您的,我告诉您!是的,我会来的!”磨工回答道。
“这才是我的好罗布啊!这才是我的好宝宝啊!”布朗太太说道,一边擦干她干瘪的脸上的眼泪,亲切地紧抱着他。
“还是到老地方来吧,罗布?”
“行,”磨工回答道。
“不久就来,亲爱的罗贝?”布朗太太喊道;“而且经常来?”
“行。行。是的,”罗布回答说,“以我的灵魂和肉体发誓,我一定来。”
“既然是这样,”布朗太太把手举向天空,把头往后一仰,并摇晃着,“虽然我知道他住在哪里,但如果他信守他的诺言的话,那么我就不到他那里去,而且我一个字也决不会谈到他!决不会!”
这声喊叫对可怜的磨工似乎是一丝安慰,他握握布朗太太的手,眼里含着泪水,请求她别去打扰一位年轻小伙子,别去破坏他的前程。布朗太太又亲热地拥抱了他一次,表示同意;但是当她正要跟女儿离开的时候,她又转过身来,偷偷地举起一个指头,用嘶哑的凑着他的耳朵,求他给一点钱。
“一先令,亲爱的!”她露出急切的、贪婪的脸色,说道,“要不六便士也行!看在老熟人的面子上。我是这么穷。而我漂亮的女儿,”——她回过头去望了望——“她是我的女儿,罗布,她让我过着半饥半饱的生活。”
可是当罗布勉勉强强地把钱塞到她手里的时候,她的女儿却悄悄地转过身来,抓住她的手,把钱币从她手中抢出来。
“什么,”她说道,“妈妈!老是钱!开头是钱,到最后还是钱。我刚才讲过的话你怎么一点也不记在心上?钱在这里。
拿回去吧!”
当钱归还原主的时候,老太婆哀叹了一声,但没有阻拦,然后挨着她女儿的身旁,一拐一拐地走出院子,沿着邻近的一条小街走去。万分惊讶的罗布目不转睛地看着她们离开,他看到她们很快就站住,认真地交谈起来;他不止一次地注意到年轻女人的手凶狠地作了一个威胁的动作(显然是针对她们所谈到的一个什么人),布朗太太也有气无力地模仿了一下这个动作,因而他不由得衷心地希望,她们所谈论的对象不是他。
罗布想到她们现在已经走了,又想到布朗太太将来不能永久活下去,很可能不久就不会来打扰他了,心中感到一些安慰;他对过去的过错会随着带来这些不愉快的后果,心中倒也因此而感到有些悔恨,但是他想到他是怎样巧妙地摆脱了卡特尔船长的(他一回忆起这件事,就必然能使精神焕发起来),这就使他把受了扰乱的心绪镇静下来,换上一副平静的面容,到董贝公司的营业所去接受他主人的吩咐。
他的主人在那里,眼睛是那么敏锐,那么警觉,因此罗布一看到它们,就在他面前颤抖起来,十分担心布朗太太的事情会使他受到责骂;他的主人像往常一样,交给他一个匣子和一张短笺;匣子里装着上午的公文,是送给董贝先生的;那张短笺是送给董贝夫人的;他只是向他点了点头,算是嘱咐他要谨慎小心,并必须火速送达——这样一种神秘的告诫,在磨工看来,充满了可怕的警告与威胁,它比任何言语都更有力。
房间里只剩下卡克先生一个人的时候,他又专心致志地工作起来,工作了一整天。他接见了不少来访者,审阅了许多文件,在各种商业场所进进出出,来来往往,在一天的业务没有做完之前,他从不分心走神。但是,当他桌子上的公文终于办完送走以后,他又一次陷入沉思之中。
当他以惯常的姿势站在惯常的地方,眼睛全神贯注地凝视着地板的时候,他的哥哥进来把这一天中间从这里取走的一些函件送回。在他进来的时候,经理卡克先生的眼睛注视着他,仿佛它们在这段时间里一直静观着的不是办公室的地板,而是他似的;当他默默地把函件放在桌子上,想立刻就走开的时候,经理卡克先生说道:
“唔,约翰•卡克,是什么使你到这里来的?”
他的哥哥指指函件,然后又向门口走去。
“我感到奇怪,”经理说道,“你来来去去,连我们主人的健康情况怎么样也可以不问一问。”
“今天早上我们在办公室里听说,董贝先生的身体恢复得不错,”他的哥哥回答道。
“你是这样一位卑躬屈节的人,”经理微笑了一下,说道,——“不过,在这些岁月中你已变成了这样子——,我现在敢发誓说,如果他遭到什么灾祸的话,那么你是会感到悲伤的。”
“我一定会真正感到难过,詹姆斯,”那一位回答道。
“他会感到难过!”经理指着他说道,仿佛他正在向这里另一个人求助似的。“他会真正感到难过!我的这位哥哥!这位这里的小职员,这块谁也看不起的废物,他被人们推在一旁,脸朝着墙壁,就像是一张拙劣的图画一样!他就一直是这样,天知道过了多少年;可是他对他却非常感激、尊敬与忠诚,而且想要我相信这一点!”
“我什么也不想要你相信,詹姆士,”另一位回答道。“请像对待你的其他任何下属那样公正地对待我吧。你向我提了一个问题,我只不过回答它罢了。”
“你这条摇尾乞怜的狗,对他就没有什么抱怨的吗?”经理以寻常少见的易怒的脾气,说道,“难道就没有盛气凌人的态度、蛮横无礼的行为、愚笨无知的状态、吹毛求疵的挑剔,使你怨恨的吗?见你的鬼!你是人还是耗子?”
“任何两个人,特别是上级和下级,如果相处这么多年,彼此没有一点怨言,这倒是奇怪的——不管怎么样,他是这么想的,”约翰•卡克回答道,“不过,撇开我的历史不提——”
“他的历史!”经理高声喊道,“哦,确有这么回事。这件事实本身使他成了一种特殊情况,因此就可以把他的一切全都一笔勾销!唔,往下讲吧。”
“我的这段历史,正像你所暗示的,使我具有独特的理由对他怀着感激的心情(其他的人很幸运,没有像我这样的理由),可是把这段历史撇开不提,公司里也确实没有一个人不是这样说和这样感觉的。难道你不认为这里有什么人对公司老板遭遇的不幸或灾祸会漠不关心或会对这不真正感到难过的吗?”
“当然,你有充分的理由对他感恩戴德!”经理轻蔑地说道。“唷,难道你不相信,把你留在这里是作为一个廉价的实例和著名的证据,说明董贝父子公司待人处事宽厚,因而有助于抬高这个大名鼎鼎的公司的美好声望吗?”
“我不相信,”他的哥哥温和地回答道,“很久以来我一直相信,是由于更为仁慈和无私的理由才把我留下来的。”
“我看你好像要背诵一段基督的什么训诫吧,”经理像山猫般咆哮道。
“不是,詹姆士,”另一位回答道,“虽然我们之间兄弟情谊的纽带早已断裂,并已被抛弃了——”
“谁断裂的,亲爱的先生?”经理问道。
“我,由于我的行为不正。我不把过失推到你身上。”
经理咬牙切齿,无声地回答道,“哼,你不把过失推到我身上!”然后嘱咐他继续说下去。
“我说,虽然我们之间已不存在兄弟情谊的纽带,我请求你不要用不必要的辱骂来攻击我,或者曲解我所说的或想要说的话,我只想向你提醒一点:如果你以为,你在这里远远超出所有其他的人,得到提拔,受到信任,享受荣誉(我知道,从一开始,你就是由于你的卓越才能和可以信赖而得到提拔的),你比任何人都能更随便地跟董贝先生交往,可以说,跟他保持着平等的关系,受到他的宠幸,由于他而发财致富,因此,公司里只有你一个人才关心他的幸福与名誉,如果你这样想的话,那么这将是一个错误。我真诚地相信,公司里,从你开始一直到职位最低的人,没有一个人不同样有着这样的感情。”
“你撒谎!”经理说道,他由于突然发怒,脸孔涨得通红。
“你是个伪君子,约翰•卡克,你说的是弥天大谎。”
“詹姆士,”另一位喊道,他的脸也涨红了。“你使用这些侮辱的语言打算干什么?我没惹你一丝一毫,你为什么这样卑鄙地对我使用这些语言?”
“我告诉你,”经理说道,“你的虚情假意与卑躬屈膝,公司里所有职员的虚情假意与卑躬屈膝,都不值得我那样做,”他咬咬大姆指,又咬咬别的指头,“我看透这一切,就像看透清澈的空气一样!这个公司所雇用的所有职员,在我与最低级职员之间的所有的人(你对他们很体贴,而且有理由这样,因为你的地位与他们相差不远),没有一个人看到他的主人受到屈辱会不由衷地感到高兴,没有一个人不暗地里恨他,没有一个人不希望他遭到灾祸而不是交上好运,没有一个人要是有力量和勇气的话会不反抗他的。愈是受到他宠幸的人就愈感受到他的蛮横无礼;愈接近他的人就愈疏远他。这就是这里所有职员们的信念!”
我不知道,”他的哥哥说道,他刚才被惹怒的感情立即被惊奇所代替,“谁用这样一些说法糟蹋你的耳朵的?为什么你偏想要来考验我而不去考验别人?不过你已经考验了我,愚弄了我,这一点我现在深信不疑。你刚才的态度和言论,跟我过去在你身上看到的截然不同。我只能再一次对你说,你被欺骗了。”
“我知道我是被欺骗了,”经理说道,“我已经对你说过了。”
“不是被我,”他的哥哥回答道。“而是被向你提供情况的人欺骗了,如果有这样的人的话;如果没有这样的人,那就是被你自己的想法和怀疑所欺骗了。”
“我没有任何怀疑,”经理说道。“我掌握千真万确的事实。你们这些胆小如鼠、卑鄙下贱、卑躬曲膝的狗!你们全都假装成同样的姿态,全都编造着同样的假话,全都哭诉着同样的话语,全都隐藏着同样显而易见的秘密。”
当他说完的时候,他的哥哥不再说什么,离开房间,把门关上,经理卡克先生把椅子拉近到壁炉跟前,开始用拨火棒轻轻地敲打着煤块。
“懦怯怕事、阿谀奉迎的无赖们,”他露出两排闪闪发光的牙齿,喃喃自语道,“他们没有一个人不假装出震惊与气愤的——!呸!他们只要一旦有了权势和使用权势的才智与胆量的话,那么就没有一个人不会把董贝的高傲摧毁、打倒,就像我耙出这些煤渣一样毫不留情的。”
当他把它们敲碎、撒在炉篦上的时候,他露出若有所思的微笑,看着自己所干的事情。“是的,即使没有王后的引诱也会这样的!”他立即补充了一句;“有一种高傲是不应当忘记的——它是我们相识的见证人!”说着,他就陷入了更为出神的沉思,坐在那里,对着正在暗黑下去的炉篦默想着,随后像一个人离开专心看着的书本一样地站了起来,向四周看看,拿了帽子和手套,走到他的马正在等候他的地方,骑上马,沿着灯光明亮的街道骑去,因为这时已是晚上了。
他骑近董贝先生的住宅;快到的时候,他勒住马,让马放慢脚步,一步一步地走着,同时望着上面的窗子。有一次他曾看到弗洛伦斯带着她的狗坐在里面的那个窗子首先吸引了他的注意,虽然这时里面已没有灯光了;可是当他把眼光投到这座公馆高大的正面的时候,他微笑了,似乎目空一切地把那窗子抛在后面。
“过去有一段时候,”他说道,“甚至连您这颗升起的小星也是值得注视的,而且还得知道乌云聚集在什么地方,以便在需要的时候好去掩护您。可是现在一颗行星升上来了,在它的光辉中您已经黯然失色了。”
他把白腿的马转到街道拐角处,从这座公馆背面的许多窗子中寻找一个闪射出亮光的窗子。这个窗子使他联想起那庄严的态度,那戴上手套的手,也使他回想起那只美丽的鸟儿的翅膀上的羽毛怎样纷纷落到地板上,长衣上那轻飘飘的白色绒毛怎样颤抖着,发出沙沙的,就像面临即将刮起的风暴一样。当他又转身离开,以快速的步伐骑过公园的黑暗的、无人的小路的时候,他带走了这些回忆。
不可避免的事实是,这些回忆都跟一位女人,一位高傲的女人联系着;她憎恨他,但是由于他采取了狡猾的手腕,也由于她怀着高傲与怨恨的情绪,她被慢慢地而又确实地引导到习惯于容忍他跟她在一起相处了;她逐渐地习惯于把他当作一位有特殊权利的人来接待,他有权向她谈到她对她自己丈夫无礼的轻蔑和她自暴自弃地轻视自己。这些回忆跟一位女人联系着;她深切地憎恨他,她了解他,并正因为她了解他和因为他了解她,所以她不信任他;可是尽管她对他怀着憎恨,她却容许他一天天地接近她,以便激起她强烈的怨恨。尽管她对他怀着憎恨!正是由于这个理由她才容许他一天天地接近她的;因为在这憎恨的深渊(它太深了,虽然她能模糊地向里面探视,但却不是她的威胁性的眼光所能看透的)隐藏着她狠毒的报复,它的最淡弱的影子足以玷污她的灵魂;只要看一次就会令人毛骨悚然,决不会再去看的。
当他骑马的时候,这女人的幻影,这与真实完全一致、他看得明明白白的幻影,是不是在他的周围飞翔呢?
是的。他在心中看到她,一如她平时的样子。她容忍他跟她在一起的时候,在他眼中,她那高傲、怨恨、憎恶的情绪,就像她美丽的容貌一样清清楚楚。没有什么能比她对他的憎恨更为清楚的了。他有时看到她在他身旁态度傲慢,拒人于千里之外;有时又看到她摔倒在他的马蹄下,躺在尘土中。但是他总是看到她,就像她平时的样子,没有任何掩饰,而且注视着她在向着危险的道路上走去。
当他骑马游逛之后,换上衣服,低着头,露出谄媚的微笑,轻声柔语地走进她的明亮的房间里的时候,他同样清楚地看到她。他甚至对那戴上手套的手的秘密产生了猜疑,正由于这个猜疑,他把它在他手中握得比以前更久一些。他依旧跟随着她在危险的道路上走去,她所留下的每个脚印,他都把自己的脚紧跟着踩在上面。
慕若涵

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Chapter 47
The Thunderbolt
The barrier between Mr Dombey and his wife was not weakened by time. Ill-assorted couple, unhappy in themselves and in each other, bound together by no tie but the manacle that joined their fettered hands, and straining that so harshly, in their shrinking asunder, that it wore and chafed to the bone, Time, consoler of affliction and softener of anger, could do nothing to help them. Their pride, however different in kind and object, was equal in degree; and, in their flinty opposition, struck out fire between them which might smoulder or might blaze, as circumstances were, but burned up everything within their mutual reach, and made their marriage way a road of ashes.
Let us be just to him. In the monstrous delusion of his life, swelling with every grain of sand that shifted in its glass, he urged her on, he little thought to what, or considered how; but still his feeling towards her, such as it was, remained as at first. She had the grand demerit of unaccountably putting herself in opposition to the recognition of his vast importance, and to the acknowledgment of her complete submission to it, and so far it was necessary to correct and reduce her; but otherwise he still considered her, in his cold way, a lady capable of doing honour, if she would, to his choice and name, and of reflecting credit on his proprietorship.
Now, she, with all her might of passionate and proud resentment, bent her dark glance from day to day, and hour to hour - from that night in her own chamber, when she had sat gazing at the shadows on the wall, to the deeper night fast coming - upon one figure directing a crowd of humiliations and exasperations against her; and that figure, still her husband's.
Was Mr Dombey's master-vice, that ruled him so inexorably, an unnatural characteristic? It might be worthwhile, sometimes, to inquire what Nature is, and how men work to change her, and whether, in the enforced distortions so produced, it is not natural to be unnatural. Coop any son or daughter of our mighty mother within narrow range, and bind the prisoner to one idea, and foster it by servile worship of it on the part of the few timid or designing people standing round, and what is Nature to the willing captive who has never risen up upon the wings of a free mind - drooping and useless soon - to see her in her comprehensive truth!
Alas! are there so few things in the world, about us, most unnatural, and yet most natural in being so? Hear the magistrate or judge admonish the unnatural outcasts of society; unnatural in brutal habits, unnatural in want of decency, unnatural in losing and confounding all distinctions between good and evil; unnatural in ignorance, in vice, in recklessness, in contumacy, in mind, in looks, in everything. But follow the good clergyman or doctor, who, with his life imperilled at every breath he draws, goes down into their dens, lying within the echoes of our carriage wheels and daily tread upon the pavement stones. Look round upon the world of odious sights - millions of immortal creatures have no other world on earth - at the lightest mention of which humanity revolts, and dainty delicacy living in the next street, stops her ears, and lisps 'I don't believe it!' Breathe the polluted air, foul with every impurity that is poisonous to health and life; and have every sense, conferred upon our race for its delight and happiness, offended, sickened and disgusted, and made a channel by which misery and death alone can enter. Vainly attempt to think of any simple plant, or flower, or wholesome weed, that, set in this foetid bed, could have its natural growth, or put its little leaves off to the sun as GOD designed it. And then, calling up some ghastly child, with stunted form and wicked face, hold forth on its unnatural sinfulness, and lament its being, so early, far away from Heaven - but think a little of its having been conceived, and born and bred, in Hell!
Those who study the physical sciences, and bring them to bear upon the health of Man, tell us that if the noxious particles that rise from vitiated air were palpable to the sight, we should see them lowering in a dense black cloud above such haunts, and rolling slowly on to corrupt the better portions of a town. But if the moral pestilence that rises with them, and in the eternal laws of our Nature, is inseparable from them, could be made discernible too, how terrible the revelation! Then should we see depravity, impiety, drunkenness, theft, murder, and a long train of nameless sins against the natural affections and repulsions of mankind, overhanging the devoted spots, and creeping on, to blight the innocent and spread contagion among the pure. Then should we see how the same poisoned fountains that flow into our hospitals and lazar-houses, inundate the jails, and make the convict-ships swim deep, and roll across the seas, and over-run vast continents with crime. Then should we stand appalled to know, that where we generate disease to strike our children down and entail itself on unborn generations, there also we breed, by the same certain process, infancy that knows no innocence, youth without modesty or shame, maturity that is mature in nothing but in suffering and guilt, blasted old age that is a scandal on the form we bear. unnatural humanity! When we shall gather grapes from thorns, and figs from thistles; when fields of grain shall spring up from the offal in the bye-ways of our wicked cities, and roses bloom in the fat churchyards that they cherish; then we may look for natural humanity, and find it growing from such seed.
Oh for a good spirit who would take the house-tops off, with a mole potent and benignant hand than the lame demon in the tale, and show a Christian people what dark shapes issue from amidst their homes, to swell the retinue of the Destroying Angel as he moves forth among them! For only one night's view of the pale phantoms rising from the scenes of our too-long neglect; and from the thick and sullen air where Vice and Fever propagate together, raining the tremendous social retributions which are ever pouring down, and ever coming thicker! Bright and blest the morning that should rise on such a night: for men, delayed no more by stumbling-blocks of their own making, which are but specks of dust upon the path between them and eternity, would then apply themselves, like creatures of one common origin, owing one duty to the Father of one family, and tending to one common end, to make the world a better place!
Not the less bright and blest would that day be for rousing some who never have looked out upon the world of human life around them, to a knowledge of their own relation to it, and for making them acquainted with a perversion of nature in their own contracted sympathies and estimates; as great, and yet as natural in its development when once begun, as the lowest degradation known.'
But no such day had ever dawned on Mr Dombey, or his wife; and the course of each was taken.
Through six months that ensued upon his accident, they held the same relations one towards the other. A marble rock could not have stood more obdurately in his way than she; and no chilled spring, lying uncheered by any ray of light in the depths of a deep cave, could be more sullen or more cold than he.
The hope that had fluttered within her when the promise of her new home dawned, was quite gone from the heart of Florence now. That home was nearly two years old; and even the patient trust that was in her, could not survive the daily blight of such experience. If she had any lingering fancy in the nature of hope left, that Edith and her father might be happier together, in some distant time, she had none, now, that her father would ever love her. The little interval in which she had imagined that she saw some small relenting in him, was forgotten in the long remembrance of his coldness since and before, or only remembered as a sorrowful delusion.
Florence loved him still, but, by degrees, had come to love him rather as some dear one who had been, or who might have been, than as the hard reality before her eyes. Something of the softened sadness with which she loved the memory of little Paul, or of her mother, seemed to enter now into her thoughts of him, and to make them, as it were, a dear remembrance. Whether it was that he was dead to her, and that partly for this reason, partly for his share in those old objects of her affection, and partly for the long association of him with hopes that were withered and tendernesses he had frozen, she could not have told; but the father whom she loved began to be a vague and dreamy idea to her: hardly more substantially connected with her real life, than the image she would sometimes conjure up, of her dear brother yet alive, and growing to be a man, who would protect and cherish her.
The change, if it may be called one, had stolen on her like the change from childhood to womanhood, and had come with it. Florence was almost seventeen, when, in her lonely musings, she was conscious of these thoughts.'
She was often alone now, for the old association between her and her Mama was greatly changed. At the time of her father's accident, and when he was lying in his room downstairs, Florence had first observed that Edith avoided her. Wounded and shocked, and yet unable to reconcile this with her affection when they did meet, she sought her in her own room at night, once more.
'Mama,' said Florence, stealing softly to her side, 'have I offended you?'
Edith answered 'No.'
'I must have done something,' said Florence. 'Tell me what it is. You have changed your manner to me, dear Mama. I cannot say how instantly I feel the least change; for I love you with my whole heart.'
'As I do you,' said Edith. 'Ah, Florence, believe me never more than now!'
'Why do you go away from me so often, and keep away?' asked Florence. 'And why do you sometimes look so strangely on me, dear Mama? You do so, do you not?'
Edith signified assent with her dark eyes.
'Why?' returned Florence imploringly. 'Tell me why, that I may know how to please you better; and tell me this shall not be so any more.
'My Florence,' answered Edith, taking the hand that embraced her neck, and looking into the eyes that looked into hers so lovingly, as Florence knelt upon the ground before her; 'why it is, I cannot tell you. It is neither for me to say, nor you to hear; but that it is, and that it must be, I know. Should I do it if I did not?'
'Are we to be estranged, Mama?' asked Florence, gazing at her like one frightened.
Edith's silent lips formed 'Yes.'
Florence looked at her with increasing fear and wonder, until she could see her no more through the blinding tears that ran down her face.
'Florence! my life!' said Edith, hurriedly, 'listen to me. I cannot bear to see this grief. Be calmer. You see that I am composed, and is it nothing to me?'
She resumed her steady voice and manner as she said the latter words, and added presently:
'Not wholly estranged. Partially: and only that, in appearance, Florence, for in my own breast I am still the same to you, and ever will be. But what I do is not done for myself.'
'Is it for me, Mama?' asked Florence.
'It is enough,' said Edith, after a pause, 'to know what it is; why, matters little. Dear Florence, it is better - it is necessary - it must be - that our association should be less frequent. The confidence there has been between us must be broken off.'
'When?' cried Florence. 'Oh, Mama, when?'
'Now,' said Edith.
'For all time to come?' asked Florence.
'I do not say that,' answered Edith. 'I do not know that. Nor will I say that companionship between us is, at the best, an ill-assorted and unholy union, of which I might have known no good could come. My way here has been through paths that you will never tread, and my way henceforth may lie - God knows - I do not see it - '
Her voice died away into silence; and she sat, looking at Florence, and almost shrinking from her, with the same strange dread and wild avoidance that Florence had noticed once before. The same dark pride and rage succeeded, sweeping over her form and features like an angry chord across the strings of a wild harp. But no softness or humility ensued on that. She did not lay her head down now, and weep, and say that she had no hope but in Florence. She held it up as if she were a beautiful Medusa, looking on him, face to face, to strike him dead. Yes, and she would have done it, if she had had the charm.
'Mama,' said Florence, anxiously, 'there is a change in you, in more than what you say to me, which alarms me. Let me stay with you a little.'
'No,' said Edith, 'no, dearest. I am best left alone now, and I do best to keep apart from you, of all else. Ask me no questions, but believe that what I am when I seem fickle or capricious to you, I am not of my own will, or for myself. Believe, though we are stranger to each other than we have been, that I am unchanged to you within. Forgive me for having ever darkened your dark home - I am a shadow on it, I know well - and let us never speak of this again.'
'Mama,' sobbed Florence, 'we are not to part?'
'We do this that we may not part,' said Edith. 'Ask no more. Go, Florence! My love and my remorse go with you!'
She embraced her, and dismissed her; and as Florence passed out of her room, Edith looked on the retiring figure, as if her good angel went out in that form, and left her to the haughty and indignant passions that now claimed her for their own, and set their seal upon her brow.
From that hour, Florence and she were, as they had been, no more. For days together, they would seldom meet, except at table, and when Mr Dombey was present. Then Edith, imperious, inflexible, and silent, never looked at her. Whenever Mr Carker was of the party, as he often was, during the progress of Mr Dombey's recovery, and afterwards, Edith held herself more removed from her, and was more distant towards her, than at other times. Yet she and Florence never encountered, when there was no one by, but she would embrace her as affectionately as of old, though not with the same relenting of her proud aspect; and often, when she had been out late, she would steal up to Florence's room, as she had been used to do, in the dark, and whisper 'Good-night,' on her pillow. When unconscious, in her slumber, of such visits, Florence would sometimes awake, as from a dream of those words, softly spoken, and would seem to feel the touch of lips upon her face. But less and less often as the months went on.
And now the void in Florence's own heart began again, indeed, to make a solitude around her. As the image of the father whom she loved had insensibly become a mere abstraction, so Edith, following the fate of all the rest about whom her affections had entwined themselves, was fleeting, fading, growing paler in the distance, every day. Little by little, she receded from Florence, like the retiring ghost of what she had been; little by little, the chasm between them widened and seemed deeper; little by little, all the power of earnestness and tenderness she had shown, was frozen up in the bold, angry hardihood with which she stood, upon the brink of a deep precipice unseen by Florence, daring to look down.
There was but one consideration to set against the heavy loss of Edith, and though it was slight comfort to her burdened heart, she tried to think it some relief. No longer divided between her affection and duty to the two, Florence could love both and do no injustice to either. As shadows of her fond imagination, she could give them equal place in her own bosom, and wrong them with no doubts
So she tried to do. At times, and often too, wondering speculations on the cause of this change in Edith, would obtrude themselves upon her mind and frighten her; but in the calm of its abandonment once more to silent grief and loneliness, it was not a curious mind. Florence had only to remember that her star of promise was clouded in the general gloom that hung upon the house, and to weep and be resigned.
Thus living, in a dream wherein the overflowing love of her young heart expended itself on airy forms, and in a real world where she had experienced little but the rolling back of that strong tide upon itself, Florence grew to be seventeen. Timid and retiring as her solitary life had made her, it had not embittered her sweet temper, or her earnest nature. A child in innocent simplicity; a woman m her modest self-reliance, and her deep intensity of feeling; both child and woman seemed at once expressed in her face and fragile delicacy of shape, and gracefully to mingle there; - as if the spring should be unwilling to depart when summer came, and sought to blend the earlier beauties of the flowers with their bloom. But in her thrilling voice, in her calm eyes, sometimes in a sage ethereal light that seemed to rest upon her head, and always in a certain pensive air upon her beauty, there was an expression, such as had been seen in the dead boy; and the council in the Servants' Hall whispered so among themselves, and shook their heads, and ate and drank the more, in a closer bond of good-fellowship.
This observant body had plenty to say of Mr and Mrs Dombey, and of Mr Carker, who appeared to be a mediator between them, and who came and went as if he were trying to make peace, but never could. They all deplored the uncomfortable state of affairs, and all agreed that Mrs Pipchin (whose unpopularity was not to be surpassed) had some hand in it; but, upon the whole, it was agreeable to have so good a subject for a rallying point, and they made a great deal of it, and enjoyed themselves very much.
The general visitors who came to the house, and those among whom Mr and Mrs Dombey visited, thought it a pretty equal match, as to haughtiness, at all events, and thought nothing more about it. The young lady with the back did not appear for some time after Mrs Skewton's death; observing to some particular friends, with her usual engaging little scream, that she couldn't separate the family from a notion of tombstones, and horrors of that sort; but when she did come, she saw nothing wrong, except Mr Dombey's wearing a bunch of gold seals to his watch, which shocked her very much, as an exploded superstition. This youthful fascinator considered a daughter-in-law objectionable in principle; otherwise, she had nothing to say against Florence, but that she sadly wanted 'style' - which might mean back, perhaps. Many, who only came to the house on state occasions, hardly knew who Florence was, and said, going home, 'Indeed, was that Miss Dombey, in the corner? Very pretty, but a little delicate and thoughtful in appearance!'
None the less so, certainly, for her life of the last six months. Florence took her seat at the dinner-table, on the day before the second anniversary of her father's marriage to Edith (Mrs Skewton had been lying stricken with paralysis when the first came round), with an uneasiness, amounting to dread. She had no other warrant for it, than the occasion, the expression of her father's face, in the hasty glance she caught of it, and the presence of Mr Carker, which, always unpleasant to her, was more so on this day, than she had ever felt it before.
Edith was richly dressed, for she and Mr Dombey were engaged in the evening to some large assembly, and the dinner-hour that day was late. She did not appear until they were seated at table, when Mr Carker rose and led her to her chair. Beautiful and lustrous as she was, there was that in her face and air which seemed to separate her hopelessly from Florence, and from everyone, for ever more. And yet, for an instant, Florence saw a beam of kindness in her eyes, when they were turned on her, that made the distance to which she had withdrawn herself, a greater cause of sorrow and regret than ever.
There was very little said at dinner. Florence heard her father speak to Mr Carker sometimes on business matters, and heard him softly reply, but she paid little attention to what they said, and only wished the dinner at an end. When the dessert was placed upon the table, and they were left alone, with no servant in attendance, Mr Dombey, who had been several times clearing his throat in a manner that augured no good, said:
'Mrs Dombey, you know, I suppose, that I have instructed the housekeeper that there will be some company to dinner here to-morrow.
'I do not dine at home,' she answered.
'Not a large party,' pursued Mr Dombey, with an indifferent assumption of not having heard her; 'merely some twelve or fourteen. My sister, Major Bagstock, and some others whom you know but slightly.'
I do not dine at home,' she repeated.
'However doubtful reason I may have, Mrs Dombey,' said Mr Dombey, still going majestically on, as if she had not spoken, 'to hold the occasion in very pleasant remembrance just now, there are appearances in these things which must be maintained before the world. If you have no respect for yourself, Mrs Dombey - '
'I have none,' she said.
'Madam,' cried Mr Dombey, striking his hand upon the table, 'hear me if you please. I say, if you have no respect for yourself - '
'And I say I have none,' she answered.
He looked at her; but the face she showed him in return would not have changed, if death itself had looked.
'Carker,' said Mr Dombey, turning more quietly to that gentleman, 'as you have been my medium of communication with Mrs Dombey on former occasions, and as I choose to preserve the decencies of life, so far as I am individually concerned, I will trouble you to have the goodness to inform Mrs Dombey that if she has no respect for herself, I have some respect for myself, and therefore insist on my arrangements for to-morrow.
'Tell your sovereign master, Sir,' said Edith, 'that I will take leave to speak to him on this subject by-and-bye, and that I will speak to him alone.'
'Mr Carker, Madam,' said her husband, 'being in possession of the reason which obliges me to refuse you that privilege, shall be absolved from the delivery of any such message.' He saw her eyes move, while he spoke, and followed them with his own.
'Your daughter is present, Sir,' said Edith.
'My daughter will remain present,' said Mr Dombey.
Florence, who had risen, sat down again, hiding her face in her hands, and trembling.
'My daughter, Madam' - began Mr Dombey.
But Edith stopped him, in a voice which, although not raised in the least, was so clear, emphatic, and distinct, that it might have been heard in a whirlwind.
'I tell you I will speak to you alone,' she said. 'If you are not mad, heed what I say.'
'I have authority to speak to you, Madam,' returned her husband, 'when and where I please; and it is my pleasure to speak here and now.'
She rose up as if to leave the room; but sat down again, and looking at him with all outward composure, said, in the same voice:
'You shall!'
'I must tell you first, that there is a threatening appearance in your manner, Madam,' said Mr Dombey, 'which does not become you.
She laughed. The shaken diamonds in her hair started and trembled. There are fables of precious stones that would turn pale, their wearer being in danger. Had these been such, their imprisoned rays of light would have taken flight that moment, and they would have been as dull as lead.
Carker listened, with his eyes cast down.
'As to my daughter, Madam,' said Mr Dombey, resuming the thread of his discourse, 'it is by no means inconsistent with her duty to me, that she should know what conduct to avoid. At present you are a very strong example to her of this kind, and I hope she may profit by it.'
'I would not stop you now,' returned his wife, immoveable in eye, and voice, and attitude; 'I would not rise and go away, and save you the utterance of one word, if the room were burning.'
Mr Dombey moved his head, as if in a sarcastic acknowledgment of the attention, and resumed. But not with so much self-possession as before; for Edith's quick uneasiness in reference to Florence, and Edith's indifference to him and his censure, chafed and galled him like a stiffening wound.
'Mrs Dombey,' said he, 'it may not be inconsistent with my daughter's improvement to know how very much to be lamented, and how necessary to be corrected, a stubborn disposition is, especially when it is indulged in - unthankfully indulged in, I will add - after the gratification of ambition and interest. Both of which, I believe, had some share in inducing you to occupy your present station at this board.'
'No! I would not rise, and go away, and save you the utterance of one word,' she repeated, exactly as before, 'if the room were burning.'
'It may be natural enough, Mrs Dombey,' he pursued, 'that you should be uneasy in the presence of any auditors of these disagreeable truths; though why' - he could not hide his real feeling here, or keep his eyes from glancing gloomily at Florence - 'why anyone can give them greater force and point than myself, whom they so nearly concern, I do not pretend to understand. It may be natural enough that you should object to hear, in anybody's presence, that there is a rebellious principle within you which you cannot curb too soon; which you must curb, Mrs Dombey; and which, I regret to say, I remember to have seen manifested - with some doubt and displeasure, on more than one occasion before our marriage - towards your deceased mother. But you have the remedy in your own hands. I by no means forgot, when I began, that my daughter was present, Mrs Dombey. I beg you will not forget, to-morrow, that there are several persons present; and that, with some regard to appearances, you will receive your company in a becoming manner.
'So it is not enough,' said Edith, 'that you know what has passed between yourself and me; it is not enough that you can look here,' pointing at Carker, who still listened, with his eyes cast down, 'and be reminded of the affronts you have put upon me; it is not enough that you can look here,' pointing to Florence with a hand that slightly trembled for the first and only time, 'and think of what you have done, and of the ingenious agony, daily, hourly, constant, you have made me feel in doing it; it is not enough that this day, of all others in the year, is memorable to me for a struggle (well-deserved, but not conceivable by such as you) in which I wish I had died! You add to all this, do you, the last crowning meanness of making her a witness of the depth to which I have fallen; when you know that you have made me sacrifice to her peace, the only gentle feeling and interest of my life, when you know that for her sake, I would now if I could - but I can not, my soul recoils from you too much - submit myself wholly to your will, and be the meekest vassal that you have!'
This was not the way to minister to Mr Dombey's greatness. The old feeling was roused by what she said, into a stronger and fiercer existence than it had ever had. Again, his neglected child, at this rough passage of his life, put forth by even this rebellious woman, as powerful where he was powerless, and everything where he was nothing!
He turned on Florence, as if it were she who had spoken, and bade her leave the room. Florence with her covered face obeyed, trembling and weeping as she went.
'I understand, Madam,' said Mr Dombey, with an angry flush of triumph, 'the spirit of opposition that turned your affections in that channel, but they have been met, Mrs Dombey; they have been met, and turned back!'
'The worse for you!' she answered, with her voice and manner still unchanged. 'Ay!' for he turned sharply when she said so, 'what is the worse for me, is twenty million times the worse for you. Heed that, if you heed nothing else.'
The arch of diamonds spanning her dark hair, flashed and glittered like a starry bridge. There was no warning in them, or they would have turned as dull and dim as tarnished honour. Carker still sat and listened, with his eyes cast down.
'Mrs Dombey,' said Mr Dombey, resuming as much as he could of his arrogant composure, 'you will not conciliate me, or turn me from any purpose, by this course of conduct.'
'It is the only true although it is a faint expression of what is within me,' she replied. 'But if I thought it would conciliate you, I would repress it, if it were repressible by any human effort. I will do nothing that you ask.'
'I am not accustomed to ask, Mrs Dombey,' he observed; 'I direct.'
'I will hold no place in your house to-morrow, or on any recurrence of to-morrow. I will be exhibited to no one, as the refractory slave you purchased, such a time. If I kept my marriage day, I would keep it as a day of shame. Self-respect! appearances before the world! what are these to me? You have done all you can to make them nothing to me, and they are nothing.'
'Carker,' said Mr Dombey, speaking with knitted brows, and after a moment's consideration, 'Mrs Dombey is so forgetful of herself and me in all this, and places me in a position so unsuited to my character, that I must bring this state of matters to a close.'
'Release me, then,' said Edith, immoveable in voice, in look, and bearing, as she had been throughout, 'from the chain by which I am bound. Let me go.'
'Madam?' exclaimed Mr Dombey.
'Loose me. Set me free!'
'Madam?' he repeated, 'Mrs Dombey?'
'Tell him,' said Edith, addressing her proud face to Carker, 'that I wish for a separation between us, That there had better be one. That I recommend it to him, Tell him it may take place on his own terms - his wealth is nothing to me - but that it cannot be too soon.'
'Good Heaven, Mrs Dombey!' said her husband, with supreme amazement, 'do you imagine it possible that I could ever listen to such a proposition? Do you know who I am, Madam? Do you know what I represent? Did you ever hear of Dombey and Son? People to say that Mr Dombey - Mr Dombey! - was separated from his wife! Common people to talk of Mr Dombey and his domestic affairs! Do you seriously think, Mrs Dombey, that I would permit my name to be banded about in such connexion? Pooh, pooh, Madam! Fie for shame! You're absurd.' Mr Dombey absolutely laughed.
But not as she did. She had better have been dead than laugh as she did, in reply, with her intent look fixed upon him. He had better have been dead, than sitting there, in his magnificence, to hear her.
'No, Mrs Dombey,' he resumed. 'No, Madam. There is no possibility of separation between you and me, and therefore I the more advise you to be awakened to a sense of duty. And, Carker, as I was about to say to you -
Mr Carker, who had sat and listened all this time, now raised his eyes, in which there was a bright unusual light'
As I was about to say to you, resumed Mr Dombey, 'I must beg you, now that matters have come to this, to inform Mrs Dombey, that it is not the rule of my life to allow myself to be thwarted by anybody - anybody, Carker - or to suffer anybody to be paraded as a stronger motive for obedience in those who owe obedience to me than I am my self. The mention that has been made of my daughter, and the use that is made of my daughter, in opposition to me, are unnatural. Whether my daughter is in actual concert with Mrs Dombey, I do not know, and do not care; but after what Mrs Dombey has said today, and my daughter has heard to-day, I beg you to make known to Mrs Dombey, that if she continues to make this house the scene of contention it has become, I shall consider my daughter responsible in some degree, on that lady's own avowal, and shall visit her with my severe displeasure. Mrs Dombey has asked "whether it is not enough," that she had done this and that. You will please to answer no, it is not enough.'
'A moment!' cried Carker, interposing, 'permit me! painful as my position is, at the best, and unusually painful in seeming to entertain a different opinion from you,' addressing Mr Dombey, 'I must ask, had you not better reconsider the question of a separation. I know how incompatible it appears with your high public position, and I know how determined you are when you give Mrs Dombey to understand' - the light in his eyes fell upon her as he separated his words each from each, with the distinctness of so many bells - 'that nothing but death can ever part you. Nothing else. But when you consider that Mrs Dombey, by living in this house, and making it as you have said, a scene of contention, not only has her part in that contention, but compromises Miss Dombey every day (for I know how determined you are), will you not relieve her from a continual irritation of spirit, and a continual sense of being unjust to another, almost intolerable? Does this not seem like - I do not say it is - sacrificing Mrs Dombey to the preservation of your preeminent and unassailable position?'
Again the light in his eyes fell upon her, as she stood looking at her husband: now with an extraordinary and awful smile upon her face.
'Carker,' returned Mr Dombey, with a supercilious frown, and in a tone that was intended to be final, 'you mistake your position in offering advice to me on such a point, and you mistake me (I am surprised to find) in the character of your advice. I have no more to say.
'Perhaps,' said Carker, with an unusual and indefinable taunt in his air, 'you mistook my position, when you honoured me with the negotiations in which I have been engaged here' - with a motion of his hand towards Mrs Dombey.
'Not at all, Sir, not at all,' returned the other haughtily. 'You were employed - '
'Being an inferior person, for the humiliation of Mrs Dombey. I forgot' Oh, yes, it was expressly understood!' said Carker. 'I beg your pardon!'
As he bent his head to Mr Dombey, with an air of deference that accorded ill with his words, though they were humbly spoken, he moved it round towards her, and kept his watching eyes that way.
She had better have turned hideous and dropped dead, than have stood up with such a smile upon her face, in such a fallen spirit's majesty of scorn and beauty. She lifted her hand to the tiara of bright jewels radiant on her head, and, plucking it off with a force that dragged and strained her rich black hair with heedless cruelty, and brought it tumbling wildly on her shoulders, cast the gems upon the ground. From each arm, she unclasped a diamond bracelet, flung it down, and trod upon the glittering heap. Without a word, without a shadow on the fire of her bright eye, without abatement of her awful smile, she looked on Mr Dombey to the last, in moving to the door; and left him.
Florence had heard enough before quitting the room, to know that Edith loved her yet; that she had suffered for her sake; and that she had kept her sacrifices quiet, lest they should trouble her peace. She did not want to speak to her of this - she could not, remembering to whom she was opposed - but she wished, in one silent and affectionate embrace, to assure her that she felt it all, and thanked her.
Her father went out alone, that evening, and Florence issuing from her own chamber soon afterwards, went about the house in search of. Edith, but unavailingly. She was in her own rooms, where Florence had long ceased to go, and did not dare to venture now, lest she should unconsciously engender new trouble. Still Florence hoping to meet her before going to bed, changed from room to room, and wandered through the house so splendid and so dreary, without remaining anywhere.
She was crossing a gallery of communication that opened at some little distance on the staircase, and was only lighted on great occasions, when she saw, through the opening, which was an arch, the figure of a man coming down some few stairs opposite. Instinctively apprehensive of her father, whom she supposed it was, she stopped, in the dark, gazing through the arch into the light. But it was Mr Carker coming down alone, and looking over the railing into the hall. No bell was rung to announce his departure, and no servant was in attendance. He went down quietly, opened the door for himself, glided out, and shut it softly after him.
Her invincible repugnance to this man, and perhaps the stealthy act of watching anyone, which, even under such innocent circumstances, is in a manner guilty and oppressive, made Florence shake from head to foot. Her blood seemed to run cold. As soon as she could - for at first she felt an insurmountable dread of moving - she went quickly to her own room and locked her door; but even then, shut in with her dog beside her, felt a chill sensation of horror, as if there were danger brooding somewhere near her.
It invaded her dreams and disturbed the whole night. Rising in the morning, unrefreshed, and with a heavy recollection of the domestic unhappiness of the preceding day, she sought Edith again in all the rooms, and did so, from time to time, all the morning. But she remained in her own chamber, and Florence saw nothing of her. Learning, however, that the projected dinner at home was put off, Florence thought it likely that she would go out in the evening to fulfil the engagement she had spoken of; and resolved to try and meet her, then, upon the staircase.
When the evening had set in, she heard, from the room in which she sat on purpose, a footstep on the stairs that she thought to be Edith's. Hurrying out, and up towards her room, Florence met her immediately, coming down alone.
What was Florence's affright and wonder when, at sight of her, with her tearful face, and outstretched arms, Edith recoiled and shrieked!
'Don't come near me!' she cried. 'Keep away! Let me go by!'
'Mama!' said Florence.
'Don't call me by that name! Don't speak to me! Don't look at me! - Florence!' shrinking back, as Florence moved a step towards her, 'don't touch me!'
As Florence stood transfixed before the haggard face and staring eyes, she noted, as in a dream, that Edith spread her hands over them, and shuddering through all her form, and crouching down against the wall, crawled by her like some lower animal, sprang up, and fled away.
Florence dropped upon the stairs in a swoon; and was found there by Mrs Pipchin, she supposed. She knew nothing more, until she found herself lying on her own bed, with Mrs Pipchin and some servants standing round her.
'Where is Mama?' was her first question.
'Gone out to dinner,' said Mrs Pipchin.
'And Papa?'
'Mr Dombey is in his own room, Miss Dombey,' said Mrs Pipchin, 'and the best thing you can do, is to take off your things and go to bed this minute.' This was the sagacious woman's remedy for all complaints, particularly lowness of spirits, and inability to sleep; for which offences, many young victims in the days of the Brighton Castle had been committed to bed at ten o'clock in the morning.
Without promising obedience, but on the plea of desiring to be very quiet, Florence disengaged herself, as soon as she could, from the ministration of Mrs Pipchin and her attendants. Left alone, she thought of what had happened on the staircase, at first in doubt of its reality; then with tears; then with an indescribable and terrible alarm, like that she had felt the night before.
She determined not to go to bed until Edith returned, and if she could not speak to her, at least to be sure that she was safe at home. What indistinct and shadowy dread moved Florence to this resolution, she did not know, and did not dare to think. She only knew that until Edith came back, there was no repose for her aching head or throbbing heart.
The evening deepened into night; midnight came; no Edith.
Florence could not read, or rest a moment. She paced her own room, opened the door and paced the staircase-gallery outside, looked out of window on the night, listened to the wind blowing and the rain falling, sat down and watched the faces in the fire, got up and watched the moon flying like a storm-driven ship through the sea of clouds.
All the house was gone to bed, except two servants who were waiting the return of their mistress, downstairs.
One o'clock. The carriages that rumbled in the distance, turned away, or stopped short, or went past; the silence gradually deepened, and was more and more rarely broken, save by a rush of wind or sweep of rain. Two o'clock. No Edith!
Florence, more agitated, paced her room; and paced the gallery outside; and looked out at the night, blurred and wavy with the raindrops on the glass, and the tears in her own eyes; and looked up at the hurry in the sky, so different from the repose below, and yet so tranquil and solitary. Three o'clock! There was a terror in every ash that dropped out of the fire. No Edith yet.
More and more agitated, Florence paced her room, and paced the gallery, and looked out at the moon with a new fancy of her likeness to a pale fugitive hurrying away and hiding her guilty face. Four struck! Five! No Edith yet.
But now there was some cautious stir in the house; and Florence found that Mrs Pipchin had been awakened by one of those who sat up, had risen and had gone down to her father's door. Stealing lower down the stairs, and observing what passed, she saw her father come out in his morning gown, and start when he was told his wife had not come home. He dispatched a messenger to the stables to inquire whether the coachman was there; and while the man was gone, dressed himself very hurriedly.
The man came back, in great haste, bringing the coachman with him, who said he had been at home and in bed, since ten o'clock. He had driven his mistress to her old house in Brook Street, where she had been met by Mr Carker -
Florence stood upon the very spot where she had seen him coming down. Again she shivered with the nameless terror of that sight, and had hardly steadiness enough to hear and understand what followed.
- Who had told him, the man went on to say, that his mistress would not want the carriage to go home in; and had dismissed him.
She saw her father turn white in the face, and heard him ask in a quick, trembling voice, for Mrs Dombey's maid. The whole house was roused; for she was there, in a moment, very pale too, and speaking incoherently.
She said she had dressed her mistress early - full two hours before she went out - and had been told, as she often was, that she would not be wanted at night. She had just come from her mistress's rooms, but -
'But what! what was it?' Florence heard her father demand like a madman.
'But the inner dressing-room was locked and the key gone.'
Her father seized a candle that was flaming on the ground - someone had put it down there, and forgotten it - and came running upstairs with such fury, that Florence, in her fear, had hardly time to fly before him. She heard him striking in the door, as she ran on, with her hands widely spread, and her hair streaming, and her face like a distracted person's, back to her own room.
When the door yielded, and he rushed in, what did he see there? No one knew. But thrown down in a costly mass upon the ground, was every ornament she had had, since she had been his wife; every dress she had worn; and everything she had possessed. This was the room in which he had seen, in yonder mirror, the proud face discard him. This was the room in which he had wondered, idly, how these things would look when he should see them next!
Heaping them back into the drawers, and locking them up in a rage of haste, he saw some papers on the table. The deed of settlement he had executed on their marriage, and a letter. He read that she was gone. He read that he was dishonoured. He read that she had fled, upon her shameful wedding-day, with the man whom he had chosen for her humiliation; and he tore out of the room, and out of the house, with a frantic idea of finding her yet, at the place to which she had been taken, and beating all trace of beauty out of the triumphant face with his bare hand.
Florence, not knowing what she did, put on a shawl and bonnet, in a dream of running through the streets until she found Edith, and then clasping her in her arms, to save and bring her back. But when she hurried out upon the staircase, and saw the frightened servants going up and down with lights, and whispering together, and falling away from her father as he passed down, she awoke to a sense of her own powerlessness; and hiding in one of the great rooms that had been made gorgeous for this, felt as if her heart would burst with grief.
Compassion for her father was the first distinct emotion that made head against the flood of sorrow which overwhelmed her. Her constant nature turned to him in his distress, as fervently and faithfully, as if, in his prosperity, he had been the embodiment of that idea which had gradually become so faint and dim. Although she did not know, otherwise than through the suggestions of a shapeless fear, the full extent of his calamity, he stood before her, wronged and deserted; and again her yearning love impelled her to his side.
He was not long away; for Florence was yet weeping in the great room and nourishing these thoughts, when she heard him come back. He ordered the servants to set about their ordinary occupations, and went into his own apartment, where he trod so heavily that she could hear him walking up and down from end to end.
Yielding at once to the impulse of her affection, timid at all other times, but bold in its truth to him in his adversity, and undaunted by past repulse, Florence, dressed as she was, hurried downstairs. As she set her light foot in the hall, he came out of his room. She hastened towards him unchecked, with her arms stretched out, and crying 'Oh dear, dear Papa!' as if she would have clasped him round the neck.
And so she would have done. But in his frenzy, he lifted up his cruel arm, and struck her, crosswise, with that heaviness, that she tottered on the marble floor; and as he dealt the blow, he told her what Edith was, and bade her follow her, since they had always been in league.
She did not sink down at his feet; she did not shut out the sight of him with her trembling hands; she did not weep; she did not utter one word of reproach. But she looked at him, and a cry of desolation issued from her heart. For as she looked, she saw him murdering that fond idea to which she had held in spite of him. She saw his cruelty, neglect, and hatred dominant above it, and stamping it down. She saw she had no father upon earth, and ran out, orphaned, from his house.
Ran out of his house. A moment, and her hand was on the lock, the cry was on her lips, his face was there, made paler by the yellow candles hastily put down and guttering away, and by the daylight coming in above the door. Another moment, and the close darkness of the shut-up house (forgotten to be opened, though it was long since day) yielded to the unexpected glare and freedom of the morning; and Florence, with her head bent down to hide her agony of tears, was in the streets.
  时间没有减少董贝先生和他的妻子之间的障碍。搭配错了的两口子,不论是他们本人,还是他们彼此之间的关系,都是不幸的;把他们联结在一起的,除了束缚他们双手的手铐之外,没有别的东西,在他们想挣脱开的时候,链条被拉得紧紧的,擦伤和磨破了他们的骨头。时间这个苦恼的安慰者与愤怒的缓和者,对他们无能为力,无法给予任何帮助。他们的高傲不论在性质和对象方面多么不同,但在程度上却是相等的;在他们毫不相让的敌对状态中,他们的高傲就像燧石一样,在他们之间打出火花来;它随着不同情况,时而闷火慢燃,时而炽烈地燃烧,但全都把他们相互能接触到的一切东西焚毁无遗,使他们结婚的旅程成为一条撒满灰烬的道路。

  让我们公正地对待他。他的生活的怪异的迷误,随着滴进沙漏①中去的每一粒沙子而扩展起来;在这种迷误中,他驱赶着她往前跑,很少想一下要驱赶到什么目的地去,或者她怎样去;然而他对她的感情却仍然跟最初的时候一样。在他看来,她的极大的缺点在于:她莫名其妙地拒绝承认他的重要地位,拒绝完全服从他;因此有必要纠正她,征服她;但是在别的方面,他仍然以他冷静的态度,把她看作是一位能对他的选择与名望增添光彩、一位能给她的所有主带来体面的夫人。

  --------

  ①沙漏是古时一种计时的器具。

  在她这方面呢,那天夜里她曾坐在自己的卧室中,注视着墙上的影子,一直坐到很快来临的深夜;从那天夜里起,她怀着激烈与高傲的怨恨,一天又一天,一小时又一小时,用阴沉的眼光注视着一个人影儿指挥着一群羞辱与愤怒化身的影子来反对她;这个人影儿仍然是她丈夫的。

  无情地主宰着董贝先生的主要恶习是不是一种违反天性的特性?也许有时值得问一下:天性是什么?人们怎样设法去改变它?由于这种强行扭曲的结果,违反天性是不是不自然的?把我们伟大的大自然母亲的任何儿子或女儿关进狭窄的笼子里,强迫囚人接受一个思想,并用周围懦怯或奸诈的人们对它奴颜婢膝、顶礼膜拜的态度来培育这种思想,在这种情况下,有些甘心充当俘囚的人们,从来不曾凭借自由思想的翅膀(它很快就衰弱不振,毫无用处了)站起来看一看大自然的完备无缺的真实面貌;对于这些俘囚们,天性算是什么呢?

  唉!在世界上,在我们四周,最违反天性、但却最自然的事难道还很少吗?让我们听一听行政长官或法官告诫那些被社会所摒弃的违反天性的人们吧!他们在野兽般的习惯方面违反天性,在缺乏端庄方面违反天性,在愚昧无知方面、在恶习方面、在轻率方面、在顽抗方面、在精神方面、在外貌方面、在一切方面都违反天性。可是让我们再跟随着善良的牧师或医生(他们每吸进一口空气,生命都遭受到危险),去到这些人们所居住的像野兽洞穴般狭小而肮脏的房屋里看看吧,我们马车车轮的辚辚声和人们踩过马路石头的脚步声每天都传到那里。让我们再看一看他们四周充满了可憎情景的世界吧——几百万不死的人们除了这个世界之外,在地面上没有其他的世界了——,只要稍稍提到它,就会激起人性的反感;住在邻近街道上的优美与高雅的仙女就会捂住耳朵,说:“我不相信这!”让我们呼吸呼吸那被各种不洁的物质所污染的空气吧,这些不洁的物质对健康与生命是有毒害的。让原本是为了快乐与幸福而授予我们人类的每一种感觉遭到凌辱、厌恶与唾弃吧;只有不幸与死亡才能进入我们感觉的通道。要想让栽培在发臭的苗圃中的任何简单的植物、花卉或药草,像上帝有意安排的那样,自然地生长起来,或迎着阳光,把它的小叶子伸展开来,这是徒劳的尝试。然而,当我们回想起某个身材发育不全、脸上神色邪恶的可怕的孩子的时候,让我们对他那违反天性的罪恶大发议论,哀叹他在这样早的年龄就远远地背离了天国吧,可是让我们也稍稍想一下,他是在地狱中被怀孕、出生与抚养大的啊!

  那些研究自然科学并探索它们对人类健康产生影响的人们告诉我们:从污浊的空气中取得的有毒的微粒如果能够被眼睛看见的话,那么我们将看到它们像浓密的乌云一般悬浮在这些人们栖息场所的上面,然后逐渐蔓延开来,使一个城镇中较好的区域也受到毒害。伤风败德的品行是与这些有毒的微粒一起发生的,而且,在违反大自然的永恒的规律的支配下与它们是分不开的,可是如果这些伤风败德的品行也是可以看得清楚的话,那么那该是何等可怕的暴露啊!那样一来,我们就将会看到腐化堕落、不信上帝、酩酊大醉、偷窃、暗杀和一系列违反自然感情的无名的罪过和人类所嫌恶的事情在这些注定要遭殃的地方发生,并慢慢地扩散开来,去摧残那些无辜的人们,并在那些纯洁的人们中间传染病毒。那样一来,我们就将看到这些有毒的泉水怎样流进我们的医院和麻风病院,淹没监狱,并让运载罪犯的船只吃水深深地行驶,漂洋过海,使罪恶在广阔的大陆上猖獗为害。那时候,我们知道:我们产生的疾病已摧残了我们的孩子们,并遗传给还没有出生的今后的世世代代;那时候我们知道,由于同样的确凿的作用,我们养育了毫不纯洁天真的婴儿、不知谦逊与羞耻的青年、除了受苦与犯罪之外什么也不成熟的壮年人,以及成为人类形体耻辱的讨厌的老年人;当我们知道这些情况的时候,我们将会惊吓得毛骨悚然。违反天性的人类哟!当我们将从荆棘中采摘葡萄,从大蓟中采集无花果的时候,当谷物从我们荒淫的城市的小路的垃圾中生长出来,玫瑰在它们所喜爱的肥沃的教堂墓地上开花的时候,我们就可以寻找符合天性的人类,并发现他们就是从这些种子中生长出来的了。

  啊,如果有什么善良的精灵用一只比故事中瘸腿的魔鬼①更有力更仁慈的手把屋顶掀开,向一个基督教徒指明,当他在他们中间走动时,什么样黑暗的形体会从他们的家里走出来,参加到毁坏天使的随从的队伍中去,那将会怎样啊!啊,如果仅仅在一夜的时间中看到这些苍白的鬼怪从那些我们忽视过久的地方走出来,从恶习与热病一起传播的浓密与阴沉的天空中走出来,把可怕的社会报应像雨一般永远不停地、愈来愈大地倾泻下来,那将会怎样啊!经过这样一夜之后出现的早晨将会是明亮与幸福的,因为人们将不再受他们自己所设置的绊脚石的障碍,这些绊脚石只不过是他们通向永恒的道路上的几粒尘埃罢了;那时候他们将像出于同一个根源、对同一个家庭的父亲负有同一个责任、并为一个共同的目的而努力的人们一样,专心致志地把这个世界建设成为一个更好的地方!

  --------

  ①瘸腿的魔鬼:法国作家勒萨日(LeSage)的小说《瘸腿的魔鬼》中的魔鬼;他把屋顶掀开,看到了房屋中的各种罪恶。

  这一天将是光明与幸福的,还因为对于那些从来不曾注意周围人类生活的世界的人们来说,这一天将唤醒他们认识到他们自己与它的关系;这一天将在他们面前展现出在他们自己偏狭的同情与估价中天性被扭曲的情形;这种扭曲一旦开始,在它的发展过程中,就会像降落到最低层的堕落一样显著,然而又同样自然。

  可是这样一天的曙光始终没有照射到董贝先生和妻子身上;他们各走各的道路。

  在他发生不幸事故之后的六个月中,他们之间的关系没有发生任何变化。大理石的岩石也不能比她更顽固地阻挡他的道路。岩洞深处丝毫照不到阳光的冰冷的泉水也不能比他更阴沉、更冷冰冰的了。

  当建立一个新的家庭的前景开始出现的时候弗洛伦斯心中曾经升起的希望,现在已完全消失了。这个家庭建立已有近两年之久了,甚至连她耐性的期待也经受不住每天这种冷酷经验的摧残。如果说在她心中还存有一线希望:在某个遥远的将来伊迪丝跟她父亲有一天将会一起过着幸福的生活的话,那么她现在对她父亲有一天会爱她的希望是丝毫也没有了。有一段短短的时间,她曾以为她看到他变得宽厚起来了,但现在,她在对他在这前后冷淡态度的长久的记忆中,这段时间已被忘记了;即使记起来,也仅仅被看作是一个令人悲哀的错觉而已。

  弗洛伦斯仍然爱他,但是渐渐地把他当作一个曾经是或可能是她的一个亲人去爱,而不是把他当作一个出现在她眼前的冷酷的人物去爱。他喜欢回忆小保罗或她母亲时所怀有的某种已经减轻了的悲哀现在似乎进入了她对他的思念之中,而且使这种思念成为仿佛是一种亲切的回忆。她说不出为什么她所爱的父亲对她已成为一种模糊不清的、像梦一般的概念——是不是因为他对她来说已经死去了,还是因为一方面他跟这些她过去所热爱的对象有关,另一方面她的现已消逝的希望以及她的遭到他冷酷对待的亲切感情与他长久地联系在一起的缘故。有时在她的想象中,她的弟弟仍然活着,而且已长成为一个男子汉,爱着她并保护着她;父亲这个模糊不清的概念跟她的现实生活实质上的联系几乎不超过她想象中的这个已长成为男子汉的弟弟。

  她的这个变化(如果这可以称为变化的话)是不知不觉地发生的,就像她从童年转变为一个成年的女性一样,而且是与这个转变同时发生的。当弗洛伦斯在孤独的沉思中意识到这些思想时,她差不多已十七岁了。

  现在她时常是孤身一人,因为她跟她妈妈先前的联系发生了很大的变化。当她父亲遭遇不幸事故、躺在楼下自己房间里的时候,弗洛伦斯第一次注意到,伊迪丝回避她。她在感情上受到了创伤,在心中受到震惊,又不明白这怎么能和她们每次相遇时伊迪丝那亲切的感情调和呢,于是她又一次在夜间走进伊迪丝的房间。

  “妈妈,”弗洛伦斯悄悄地走近她的身旁,说道,“我得罪您了吗?”

  伊迪丝回答道,“没有。”

  “我一定做错什么事了,”弗洛伦斯说道,“请告诉我是什么吧。您对我的态度改变了,亲爱的妈妈。我说不出我是多么迅速地感觉到最细微的变化,因为我全心全意地爱您。”

  “就像我爱你一样,”伊迪丝说道,“啊,弗洛伦斯,请相信我,我从没有比现在更强烈地爱你!”

  “为什么您时常离开我、回避我呢?”弗洛伦斯问道,“为什么您有时那么奇怪地看着我呢,亲爱的妈妈?您是这样的,难道不是吗?”

  伊迪丝用她的黑眼睛表示同意。

  “为什么呢?”弗洛伦斯恳求地问道,“告诉我为什么,这样我好知道怎样更好地使您高兴。请跟我说,我们不应当再这样了。”

  “我亲爱的弗洛伦斯,”伊迪丝回答道,一边紧紧地握着搂抱住她脖子的手,注视着那双十分亲热地注视着她的眼睛,这时弗洛伦斯跪在她的面前;“这是什么原因,我不能告诉你。这是我不应当说,也是你不应当听的。可是我知道;但事实就是这样,而且必须是这样的,这点我知道。如果我不知道的话,难道我会这样对待你吗?”

  “是不是我们必须相互疏远,妈妈?”弗洛伦斯像一个受了惊吓的人那样注视着她,问道。

  伊迪丝无声地动了动嘴唇,作出一个说“是”的形状。

  弗洛伦斯怀着更大的恐惧与惊异,望着她,直到流到脸上的泪水迷糊了她的眼睛,使她看不见伊迪丝为止。

  “弗洛伦斯!我的命根子!”伊迪丝急忙说道,“请听我说。看到你这样悲伤,我受不了。冷静些。你看我是沉着冷静的,难道我做到这点是容易的吗?”

  她说最后几个字的时候,又恢复了镇静的与态度,并立即补充道:

  “不是完全疏远。只是部分地疏远。仅仅在表面上装装样子,弗洛伦斯,因为在我的内心,我对你仍旧和过去一样,而且将永远是这样。不过我这样做并不是为了我自己。”

  “是为了我吗,妈妈?”弗洛伦斯问道。

  “知道事实是怎么样的,这就够了,”伊迪丝停了一下,说道,“至于为什么这样做,这无关紧要。亲爱的弗洛伦斯,我们应当少来往一些,这样比较好——这是必要的——,必须是这样。我们相互间一直保持着的亲密无间的友谊必须断绝。”

  “什么时候?”弗洛伦斯喊道,“啊妈妈,什么时候?”

  “现在,”伊迪丝说道。

  “今后永远这样吗?”弗洛伦斯问道。

  “我没有说这一点,”伊迪丝回答道,“我不知道这一点。我也不说,我们的伴侣关系充其量只是不适宜、不正当的。不过我可以知道,这种伴侣关系不会有好处。我到这里所走过的道路是经过许多你将永远也不会走的小路的。我今后的道路——天知道通往哪里——我看不见它。”

  她的消逝了,然后沉寂了;她坐在那里,看着弗洛伦斯,几乎要从弗洛伦斯身边退缩;在她眼光中流露出某种奇怪的恐惧与竭力回避的神色,弗洛伦斯以前有一次也曾注意到这同样的神色。接着她的全身和脸上顿时显露出与那一次同样阴郁的高傲与愤怒的激情,就像一架疯狂的竖琴的弦上忽然激烈地弹奏出愤怒的声调一样。可是随之而来的不是温柔或谦恭。她这一次没有低下头,没有哭,也没有说,她没有别的希望,她的一切希望都寄托在弗洛伦斯身上了。她高昂着头,仿佛她是美丽的美杜莎①一样,面对面地看着人,以便杀死他。是的,如果她掌握了这种魔力的话,她真会这样做的。

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  ①美杜莎(Medusa):希腊神话中的蛇发女怪。

  “妈妈,”弗洛伦斯忧虑地说道,“除了您对我所说的之外,您还发生了一种使我吃惊的变化。让我在您身边多待一会儿吧。”

  “不,”伊迪丝说道,“不,最亲爱的。我现在最好是单独一个人,我最好避开你。别向我提任何问题,只请你相信:当我似乎对你三心二意,反复无常的时候,我不是出于本意,也不是为了我自己。请相信,虽然我们彼此比过去疏远,但我在内心里对你并没有改变。请原谅我把你的暗淡的家庭变得更加暗淡了——我很清楚,我是投射在你家的一个阴影。让我们永远别再谈论这一点吧。”

  “妈妈,”弗洛伦斯哭泣道,“我们将不会分离吧?”

  “我们这样做就正是为了使我们可以不分离,”伊迪丝说道,“别再问什么。走吧,弗洛伦斯!我的爱和悔恨伴随着你!”

  她拥抱了她,然后放开让她走;当弗洛伦斯走出房间的时候,伊迪丝目送着这离开的人儿,仿佛她的善良的守护神已化为一个形象离开了她,把她留下,听凭高傲与愤怒的情绪支配;现在这两种激情占据了她,在她的前额上表露出来。

  从这时候起,弗洛伦斯和她不再像以前一样经常待在一起。她们在好多天中很少见面,只有在用餐和董贝先生在场的时候除外。在这种场合,伊迪丝威严,坚定,沉默,一眼也不看她。当有卡克先生参加时(在董贝先生恢复健康期间及以后,这是时常有的情形),伊迪丝就比平时更避开她,对她更疏远冷淡。可是当她单独和弗洛伦斯相遇、旁边没有其他人的时候,她就像过去一样情深意切地拥抱她,虽然她那高傲的神色已不像过去一样变得那么温柔了。当她夜间从外面回来晚了的时候,她时常像过去一样,悄悄地摸着黑暗走进弗洛伦斯的房间,在她的枕头边凑着她的耳朵说一声:“晚安!”弗洛伦斯在睡眠中完全不知道这些探望,有时醒来,仿佛在梦中听到这些轻轻说出的话,似乎还感觉到嘴唇在她脸上的接触。但是随着时间逐月流逝,这种情形越来越少了。

  现在弗洛伦斯自己心中的空虚确实又开始使她感到周围一片寂寞。就像她所爱的父亲的形象已经不知不觉地变成仅仅是一种抽象的东西一样,伊迪丝步随着她所心爱的其余的人的命运,一天天地在远处飞逝,逐渐消失和暗淡下去。渐渐地,她像一个她过去的幽灵现在正在离开一样,她从弗洛伦斯身边退缩;渐渐地、她们之间的罅隙扩大了,而且似乎加深了;渐渐地,她过去所显示的恳切与亲热凝结了,它们被无畏的、愤怒的、刚毅的精神所代替;她就是怀着这种精神站在弗洛伦斯没有看到的险峻的悬崖边缘上,大胆地往下看的。

  只有一种想法才可以弥补与伊迪丝疏远的这个沉痛损失;虽然这种想法对于她负担沉重的心来说只不过是轻微的安慰,但她仍然从这里寻求帮助,使她的痛苦减轻一些。与伊迪丝疏远之后,弗洛伦斯可以同时爱他们两人,而不再把她对他们两人的爱与责任分割为两个部分,因而不会对任何一方不公平。像她所喜爱的想象所创造的两个影子一样,她可以在她心中给他们两人以平等的地位,不再以任何怀疑来冤屈他们。

  她就这样设法去做。有时——时常这样——,她疑惑地猜测着伊迪丝发生变化的原因,因而打扰了安宁的心情,使她感到惊恐;可是她不是个爱刨根问底的人,所以就再一次平静地沉陷在默默的悲伤与孤独之中。弗洛伦斯只记住,向她许诺幸福的星星已被笼罩着这个公馆的黑暗所掩蔽了,于是她哭着,听天由命。

  就这样,弗洛伦斯生活在梦想中,又生活在现实世界中;在梦想中,她的年轻的心中盈溢的爱涌流到虚幻的形影上;在现实世界中,她所体验到的是,她的爱的强有力的激流总是被冲刷回来;就这样,弗洛伦斯长到了十七岁。

  虽然孤独的生活使她变得胆怯与幽静,但却并没有使她可爱的性格与诚挚的心胸变得凶狠起来。她是天真纯朴的,从这点来看,她是一个孩子;她谦逊虚心,依靠自己,感觉深刻而强烈,从这点来看,她又是一个成年的女性;在她的漂亮的脸孔和娇弱、优雅的身姿中似乎同时表现出孩子与成年女性的气质,两者优美地混合在一起,就仿佛夏天来临的时候,春天还不愿意离去,盛开的花朵与初绽的蓓蕾同时争妍媲美似的。可是在她颤抖的中,在她平静的眼光中,有时在似乎照在她头上的某种奇怪而微妙的光彩中,常常在她美丽的沉思的神态中,有一种曾经在死去的男孩身上看到的表情。仆人们在食堂中相聚在一起的时候,交头接耳地谈论着这件事,摇摇头,但却在一种更为亲密和睦的气氛中以更旺盛的胃口吃着、喝着。

  这些细心的观察家们对董贝先生和夫人,对卡克先生都有许多话好讲。卡克先生好像是他们两人中间的调解人,他来来去去,仿佛设法使他们和好,但却总是未能成功。他们全都为这不愉快的事态痛惜,而且一致认为皮普钦太太(没有谁能比她更不得人心的了)多少与这有关;不过总的来说,有这样一个可以嘲讽的好话题总是可喜的,他们尽情谈笑逗趣,十分开心得意。

  常到这里来拜访的客人们以及董贝先生和夫人前去拜访的熟人们,都认为他们两人至少在高傲这一点是旗鼓相当的一对,除此之外,他们也就没有再想到别的什么了。那位坦露着后背、打扮得很年轻的夫人在斯丘顿夫人逝世以后有好些时候没有露面,她带着她特有的可爱的短促的尖声窃笑,对她的几位亲密朋友说,她一想到这个家庭总是跟墓石的概念以及这一类可怕的东西不可分割地联系在一起。可是当她真的来到这个家里的时候,她并没有发现有什么不对头的地方,只是董贝先生表链上挂着一串金印,她感到震惊,认为这是一种已被破除的迷信。这位年轻的、妖艳的夫人原则上反对前妻的女儿,可是她对弗洛伦斯却说不出多少指责的话,只有一点,就是她令人遗憾地缺乏“风采”——也许这是指她没有坦露后背来说的。许多只是在庄严隆重的场合才到这个公馆来的人们几乎不知道弗洛伦斯是谁;他们回到家里的时候,说:“唷,在角落里的那位就是董贝小姐吗?她长得很漂亮,只是看去有些娇弱,爱想心事。”

  是的,一点不错,在最近六个月中,弗洛伦斯的生活就正是这样的,在她父亲跟伊迪丝结婚两周年的前夕(结婚一周年的时候正碰上斯丘顿夫人麻痹症发作),她十分不自在地坐在餐桌旁,几乎到了恐惧的地步。使她感到不安的理由是因为这是个有重要意义的日子,是因为她父亲脸上露出的表情,这是他向她迅速地看了一眼的时候她注意到的,还因为有卡克先生在场;卡克先生在场经常是使她感到不愉快的,今天她比过去任何时候都更感到不愉快。

  伊迪丝衣着豪华,因为她和董贝先生这天按照约定,要出去参加一个盛大的晚会,所以吃晚饭的时间推迟了。当他们全都在餐桌旁就座,卡克先生站起来去把她领到她的椅子旁时,她才露面。虽然她姿容美丽,光彩夺目,但在她脸上的表情与态度中却有着某种东西,使她与弗洛伦斯,与所有其他的人永远地、毫无希望地隔开。可是当她的眼睛转向弗洛伦斯的时候,弗洛伦斯在一刹那间看到了一道亲切的眼光,这使她对她有意避开的距离比以往更感到悲伤与惋惜。

  吃晚饭的时候,很少说话。弗洛伦斯听到她父亲有时对卡克先生谈一些业务上的事情,并听到他轻声地回答,但是她没有注意他们谈的是什么,而只希望晚饭早早结束。当甜食后的新鲜水果端到桌子上,只剩下他们,没有仆人在旁侍候的时候,董贝先生几次清了清嗓子(这不是什么好预兆),说道:

  “董贝夫人,我想您已经知道,我已向女管家指示,明天有一些客人将到我们家来吃晚饭。”

  “我不在家吃晚饭,”她回答道。

  “宴会不大,”董贝先生装作没有听到她所说的话,不动声色地继续说道,“只有十二个人或十四个人。我的妹妹,白格斯托克少校,还有几个您不大认识的人。”

  “我不在家吃晚饭,”她重复说道。

  “不论我现在欢庆这个纪念日的理由多么有疑问,”董贝先生继续威严地说下去,仿佛她刚才什么话也没有说过似的,“可是,董贝夫人,在公众面前,我们还必须保持体面,遵守这类事情的礼节。如果您没有自尊心的话,董贝夫人——”

  “我没有,”她说道。

  “夫人,”董贝先生用拳头敲了一下桌子,大声喊道,“请您听我说。我说,如果您没有自尊心的话——”

  “我说过我没有,”她回答道。

  他看了看她,可是她回看着他的脸色毫无变化,哪怕就是死神看她的话,她的脸色也不会这样没有变化。

  “卡克,”董贝先生用比较平静的语气对那位先生说道,“您以前充当过我跟董贝夫人之间传话的中间人;就我本人来说,我不打算违背现存的礼节,因此,我劳驾您通知董贝夫人,如果她没有自尊心的话,那么我本人还是有些自尊心的,所以我坚持明天按我原来的安排办理。”

  “告诉您的君主,先生,”伊迪丝说道,“我将冒昧在不久跟他谈这个问题。我将单独跟他谈。”

  “夫人,”她的丈夫说道,“卡克先生知道我不得不拒绝您有这种权利的理由,因此我免除他转达您的任何这种口信。”他看到当他说话的时候,她的眼光移开到别处,他就用自己的眼光紧跟着她的。

  “您的女儿在这里呢,先生,”伊迪丝说道。

  “我的女儿将继续留在这里,”董贝先生说道。

  弗洛伦斯已经站起来,这时又坐下去,用手捂着脸,哆嗦着。

  “我的女儿,夫人——”董贝先生开始说道。

  但是伊迪丝阻止他说下去,她的虽然一点也没有升高,但却十分清晰,响亮,而且加重了语气,就是在旋风中也可以听得见。

  “我告诉您我将单独跟您谈,”她说道,“如果您没有疯癫的话,那么请注意听一听我所说的话。”

  “我有权在我愿意的时间与地方跟您谈话,夫人,”她的丈夫回答道,“我高兴就在这里,就在现在谈。”

  她站起来仿佛要离开房间似的,但是又坐了下来,表面上极为镇静地看着他,并用同样的说道:

  “说吧!”

  “我首先必须跟您说,您的态度中有一种威胁的神气,夫人,”董贝先生说道,“这是您不该有的。”

  她冷笑了一声。她头发中受了震动的钻石跳了起来,颤抖着。有些童话说,当主人处于危险的境地中时,他所佩戴的宝石将会失去色泽;如果她的钻石也是这样的话,那么禁闭在这些钻石中的光线就将会在这一刹那间逃之夭夭,这些钻石也就会像铅一样暗淡无光了。

  卡克低垂着眼睛,听着。

  “至于我的女儿,夫人,”董贝先生接着原先的话头,说下去,“她应当知道,应该避免什么行为,这与她对我的孝顺决不是矛盾的。现在您就是给她提供了一个这种性质的极为生动的例子。我希望她能从这当中受益。”

  “现在我不会阻止您,”他的妻子回答道,眼光、声音和姿势都毫无变化;“即使现在这房间着了火,我也不会就站起来,走开,不让您把话说完。”

  董贝先生点点头,仿佛对她注意听他说话讽刺性地表示感谢,然后又说下去。但是他不像先前那样沉着冷静,因为伊迪丝由于弗洛伦斯的原因迅速感到不安,而且伊迪丝对他与他的责备毫不在乎,这就像没有愈合的伤口一样,使他苦恼,生气。

  “董贝夫人,”他说道,“让我的女儿知道顽固的脾气是多么要不得,多么必需改正,这对她改进自己的品格也许并不矛盾;特别是当野心与私利得到满足之后还纵容这种脾气,这是忘恩负义,——我要补充说一句,正是野心与私利诱导您占有您现在在这张餐桌上的地位的。”

  “现在我不会阻止您。即使现在这房间着了火,我也不会站起来,走开,不让您把话说完,”她一字不差地重复着先前说过的话。

  “这也许是很自然的,董贝夫人,”他继续说道,“在有其他听众在场的情况下,听到这些不愉快的真实情况,您会感到不自在。不过我承认,我不明白,”这时他不能掩饰他的真实感觉,不能不阴郁地向弗洛伦斯看了一眼,“这些不愉快的真实情况与我的关系这样密切,为什么其他任何人,只要他们在场,就能比我本人使它们产生出一种更好的力量与影响呢?这也许是很自然的,在有其他任何人在场的情况下,您不高兴听到您有一种您不能很快抑制的反抗的脾气,而您是应当抑制它的,董贝夫人;我遗憾地指出,我记得在我们结婚之前,我就不止一次有些疑惑与不愉快地看到,在您对待您的已故的母亲的态度中,就表现出这种反抗的脾气。可是治疗的药方掌握在您手中。当我开始这次谈话的时候,我决没有忘记有我女儿在场,董贝夫人。我请求您别忘记,明天将有好几个人在场,您应当注意体面,恰当地接待他们。”

  “这就是说,您知道您本人与我之间发生的事情还不够;”伊迪丝说道,“您可以向这里看,”她指着依旧低垂着眼睛,听着话的卡克,“并使您记起您当着他的面向我施加的侮辱,可是这还不够;您可以向这里看,”她用第一次、也是仅有的一次、稍稍颤抖的手指着弗洛伦斯,“并想到您已经做了的事情①,想到由于这样做了以后,您使我每日、每时、经常不断感受到极大的痛苦,可是这还不够;一年之中的这一天对我来说值得纪念的是,我曾经历过一次斗争(这样的斗争是很值得进行的,但像您这样的人是不能想象的),我真但愿在这次斗争中已经死去啊!——可是这对您来说还不够;虽然您明明知道您已迫使我为了她的安宁牺牲了我自己,因为她的安宁是我生活中留下的唯一亲切的感情与我所关怀的东西;虽然您明明知道,为了她的缘故,如果我能做得到的话,那么我现在会服从您的全部意志,成为您最最恭顺的奴隶!——但是我不能,因为我的心太厌恶您了。——虽然您明明知道这一切,可是您在所有这一切之上又加上了这最后的、无以复加的卑鄙行为:让她亲眼看到我已堕落到何等深的程度!”

  --------

  ①指命令伊迪丝与弗洛伦斯疏远。

  这不是突出董贝先生赫赫权势的适当方式。她的话唤醒了他旧日的感情,使它比过去任何时候都更为强烈,更为凶猛。在他的生活中的这个严酷的时刻,甚至这个反抗的女人又把他的被他忽视的女儿推到前面来;在他虚弱无能的地方,他的女儿是那么强大有力;在他一无可取的地方,她是至高无上地重要!

  他转向弗洛伦斯,仿佛刚才是她说话似的,并命令她离开房间。弗洛伦斯捂着脸,服从他的命令,一边走,一边哆嗦着和哭泣着。

  “夫人,”董贝先生愤怒而又得意地说道,“我了解使您亲切的感情沿着这条河床流去的反抗精神,可是它已被截断了,董贝夫人;它已被截断,流回来了!”

  “这对您更坏!”她回答道,与态度依旧没有变化。“是的!”她说道,因为当她说这些话的时候,他猛然转过身来,“对我更坏的事情对您就更坏两千万倍。如果您对其他的话不去注意听的话,那么就请您注意听一下这句话吧。”

  横跨在她的乌黑的头发上的、联结成拱形的钻石,像一条星星的桥梁一般,一闪一闪地发光。它们没有包含着警告,否则它们就会变得像玷污了的荣誉一样暗淡无光了。卡克依旧坐在那里低垂着眼睛,听着。

  “董贝夫人,”董贝先生尽量恢复他的傲慢自大的镇静态度,说道,“您不能采用这种行为来取得我的支持或使我放弃我的目的。”

  “这是我内心思想唯一真实的表露,虽然这是一种微弱的表露,”她回答道,“但是如果我认为它会取得您的支持,我就会抑制它,如果它是可以用任何人类的努力抑制的话。我不会做任何您请求我做的事情。”

  “我不习惯于请求,董贝夫人,”他回答道,“我命令。”

  “我不愿在明天,以及在以后几周年的这一天,在您的家里扮演任何角色。我不愿意在这种时候作为您所买来的一名不听话的奴隶展览给任何人看。如果我把我结婚的这个日子保留在我的记忆中,那也只是把它作为一个耻辱的日子而保留着的。自尊心!在公众面前保持体面!这些东西对我算得了什么呢?您已经做了您所能做的一切,使得这些东西对我来说已毫无价值了。它们现在对我确实是毫无价值了。”

  “卡克,”董贝先生皱着眉头,考虑了片刻之后,说道,“董贝夫人现在已完全忘记了她自己和我的身份,并把我摆在与我的声望极不相称的地位上,我必须结束这种状态。”

  “那就请解放我吧,”伊迪丝说道,她的、脸色和态度像先前一样,一直没有变化,“把我从束缚我的锁链中解放出来吧。让我走吧。”

  “夫人?”董贝先生高声喊叫道。

  “解除我的束缚,让我自由吧!”

  “夫人?”他重复说道,“董贝夫人?”

  “告诉他,”伊迪丝把她高傲的脸转向卡克,说道,“我希望跟他分开。这样好些。我向他提出这个建议。告诉他,我可以接受他的任何条件——他的财富对我毫无价值——不过愈快愈好。”

  “唉,天哪,董贝夫人!”她的丈夫极度惊异地说道,“难道您以为我会认真考虑这样的建议吗?您知道我是个什么人物吗?夫人?您知道我代表什么吗?您可曾听说过董贝父子公司吗?让人们去说,董贝先生——董贝先生!——跟他的妻子分开了!让普通老百姓去谈论董贝先生和他家庭里的事情!您认真想过没有,董贝夫人,我会允许我的名声在这种情况下遭受羞辱吗?呸!呸!夫人!真可耻!您真是荒谬绝伦!”董贝先生放声大笑。

  但是他并不是像她那样大笑。她最好死去,而不是像她现在这样,作为回答,也大笑起来,同时她那目不转睛的眼光一刻也没有离开他。他最好死去,而不是像现在这样威严地坐在这里听她说话。

  “不行,董贝夫人,”他继续说道,“不行,夫人。您和我分开是不可能的,因此我还是奉劝您醒悟过来,产生一种责任感。卡克,我想跟您谈一谈——”

  卡克先生一直坐在那里听着,这时抬起眼睛,眼睛里闪射出一道明亮的、异乎寻常的光。

  “我想跟您谈一谈,”董贝先生继续说道,“现在事情既然已经到了这个地步,我请您通知董贝夫人,我的生活规则不允许任何人反对我——任何人,卡克。我也不允许把任何应当服从我的人,而不是我本人,推到第一位,作为服从的对象。提到我女儿的那些话,以及用我的女儿来对抗我,都是不合乎常情的。我的女儿是不是在实际上跟董贝夫人联合行动,我不知道,也不想知道。但是在董贝夫人今天讲过这些话,我女儿今天听过这些话之后,我请您通知董贝夫人,如果她继续把这个家变成一个斗争场所,那么,根据董贝夫人自己声称的话,我认为我女儿在一定程度上也要负责,我就一定很不高兴地严厉惩罚她。董贝夫人曾经问我,她做了这个做了那个‘是不是还不够’。请您回答她,‘是的,还不够。’”

  “等一会儿!”卡克插进来说道,“请允许我!虽然我的处境本来就已是痛苦的,特别是当我的意见似乎与您的不同时,我更是异乎寻常地痛苦,”他对董贝先生说道,“我还是必须请求您是不是最好还是考虑一下分开的问题,行不行?我知道这跟您的崇高的社会地位是显得多么不相容,我也知道您让董贝夫人了解,只有死才能把你们分开的时候,您是多么坚决。只有死!别的都不行!”他一个字一个字,像打钟一般地说出来的时候,他眼中的亮光落到她的身上,“可是当您考虑到:董贝夫人住在这个公馆里,像您所说的,把它变成一个斗争场所,不仅她自己参加这个斗争,而且还每天牵连到董贝小姐(因为我知道您是多么坚决),在这种情况下,您难道还不打算把她从精神上经常焦躁生气的状态中解脱出来吗?您难道还不打算把她从一种由于连累他人受苦、经常负疚、几乎难以忍受的感觉中解脱出来吗?这是否似乎像是——我不是说这肯定是——牺牲董贝夫人来保持您在社会上的卓越的、不容争辩的地位呢?”

  他眼中的亮光又落到她身上,这时她站在那里看着她的丈夫,脸上露出异乎寻常的、可怕的微笑。

  “卡克,”董贝先生自高自大地皱着眉头,用不容提出异议的声调回答道,“您在这个问题上向我提出建议,说明您不了解您的地位;您的建议的性质使我感到吃惊,它说明您不了解我。我没有别的话好说了。”

  “也许,”卡克用异乎寻常的、难以形容的嘲弄的神态说道,“当您指使我到这里来进行谈判,使我不胜光荣之至的时候,是您不了解我的地位吧,”他说话时用手指向董贝夫人指了指。

  “一点也不,先生,一点也不,”另一位傲慢地回答道,“我托付您的任务是——”

  “作为一名下属,帮您来羞辱董贝夫人。我刚才忘记了。对啦,这是明明白白地谈过的!”卡克说道。“我请您原谅!”

  他毕恭毕敬地向董贝先生低下头,这种态度与他的话语(虽然它们是低声下气地说出来的)是很不调和的,他随即把头转向她那一边,用敏锐的眼光注视着她。

  她这时最好变得丑陋讨厌,倒下死去,而不是站在那里,在很不得志的情况下轻蔑与美丽地保持着威严,脸上露出这样的微笑。她把手伸到头上那发射出灿烂光辉的宝石王冠上,使劲地把它摘下来,掷在地上;由于她毫不留情,十分凶狠,她那茂密的黑发被她用力曳过以后,都乱蓬蓬地披散在肩膀上。她从每只胳膊上解下一只钻石的手镯,往下扔掷,然后在那闪闪发亮的一堆东西上踩上几脚。她向门口走去的时候,一直注视着董贝先生,没有说一个字;在她的明亮的眼睛中冒出的火星中没有一丝阴影;她那可怕的微笑没有一点收敛,然后她离开了他。

  弗洛伦斯离开房间之前已经听到够多的话,因此她了解伊迪丝仍旧爱她,她为了她的缘故而受苦,她默默地为她牺牲,但却没有向她透露,因为唯恐说出来就会扰乱她的安宁。弗洛伦斯不想跟伊迪丝谈到这一点——她不能谈,因为她记得她反对谁——,但是她希望在一次默默无言、亲切温存的拥抱中让伊迪丝放心:除她一切都明白了,并感谢她。

  她的父亲这天晚上独自出去,在这之后不久弗洛伦斯从她自己的卧室中走出来,在屋子里到处寻找伊迪丝,但却未能如愿。伊迪丝是在她自己的房间中,弗洛伦斯已经长久不到那里去了,现在也不敢去,唯恐在无意之中会惹出新的麻烦。然而弗洛伦斯还是希望在睡觉之前能遇见她;她从一个房间转到另一个房间,在这座十分华丽而又十分凄凉的公馆中到处走着,没有留下一个地方没有去过。

  当她正穿过通向楼梯的长廊(只有在盛大节庆日子这个长廊才点灯)的时候,她通过拱门忽然看到一个男子的人影正从对面的楼梯上走下几步。她以为这是她的父亲,本能地担心和他相遇,于是就在黑暗中停下脚步,通过拱门往亮处注视。但这是卡克先生,正独自沿着楼梯往下走,并越过栏杆向门厅里看。没有打铃的人通报他的离去,也没有仆人陪送他。他静悄悄地走到下面,自己开了门,不声不响地走了出去,然后轻轻地把门关上。由于她对这个人怀着难以抑制的厌恶,也许还因为即使在这种并非本意的情况下窥视他人也使她多少感到内疚,因此弗洛伦斯从头到脚都颤抖着。她身上的热血似乎都变冷了。起初,一种难以克服的恐惧使她移不动脚步;但当她开始能走动的时候,她就迅速地走进自己的卧室,把门锁上;但是甚至当她把自己关在房间里,她的狗就在她的身边时,她仍然有着一种恐怖的寒颤的感觉,仿佛危险正潜伏在附近什么地方似的。

  它侵入了她的梦,整夜扰乱她的安宁。她早上起来,情绪低落不振,心中沉重地回忆着前一天家庭中的不幸纠纷;于是又重新在所有的房间中寻找伊迪丝,找了整整一个上午。但是伊迪丝仍留在她自己的卧室里,弗洛伦斯丝毫没有看到她的踪影。不过听说原定在家举行的宴会延期了,弗洛伦斯预料她大概会像她所说的,接受原先的邀请,在晚上出去做客,于是决定在楼梯上设法与她见面。

  当晚上来临的时候,弗洛伦斯从她故意坐着等候的房间中听到楼梯上响起脚步声,她心想那是伊迪丝的,就急忙走出来,向着她的房间,往楼上走去;她立即遇见独自走下来的伊迪丝了。

  弗洛伦斯一看见她,就脸上流着眼泪,向她伸出胳膊,但是伊迪丝却向后跳了回去,尖声叫了起来,这时弗洛伦斯是多么恐怖与惊异啊!

  “别走近我!”她喊道,“走开!让我过去!”

  “妈妈!”弗洛伦斯说道。

  “别用这名称叫我!别跟我说话!别看着我!——弗洛伦斯!”当弗洛伦斯向她走近一步的时候,她向后退缩,“别碰到我!”

  当弗洛伦斯惊吓得不能动弹地站在那张憔悴的脸孔和那双凝视的眼睛前面的时候,她仿佛做梦似地注意到,伊迪丝用双手捂着眼睛,全身打颤,紧挨着墙壁,像个什么下等动物似的,弯腰屈膝、从她身旁偷偷地溜了过去,然后跳起来,逃走了。

  弗洛伦斯晕倒在楼梯上;据她猜想,她是被皮普钦太太在那里发现的。她只知道,当她醒来的时候,她躺在自己的床上,皮普钦太太和几个仆人站在她的周围。

  “妈妈在哪里?”这是她的第一个问题。

  “出外参加晚宴去了,”皮普钦太太说道。

  “爸爸呢?”

  “董贝先生待在他自己的房间里,董贝小姐,”皮普钦太太说道,“您最好是这分钟就脱掉衣服,上床睡觉。”这是这位贤明的女人医治所有疾病,特别是情绪低落与失眠的良方;在布赖顿城堡中的日子里,许多年轻的受害者从上午十点钟起就被判决躺在床上。

  弗洛伦斯没有答应照她的话去做,但却借口想要十分安静,所以尽快地摆脱了皮普钦太太和她的助手们的侍候。只剩下她一个人的时候,她想起了楼梯上发生的事情,最初怀疑是不是真正发生过,接着流下了眼泪,然后感到一种难以形容的、可怕的惊恐,就像她昨夜所感觉到的那样。

  她决定在伊迪丝没有回来以前不睡觉,如果她不能跟她谈话,那么她至少要确信她已平安地回到了家里。是一种什么模模糊糊、朦胧不清的恐惧促使弗洛伦斯下了这个决心,她不知道,也不敢去想。她只知道,在伊迪丝回来之前,她那发痛的头脑与跳动的心房将得不到休息。

  晚上转入了夜间;午夜来临了;仍然没有伊迪丝。

  弗洛伦斯不能念书,也不能休息片刻。她在自己房间里踱着步子,然后开了门,在外面楼梯走廊里踱着步子,并往外观看夜色,静听风在吹着,雨在下着;然后她坐下来注视炉火形成的各种形状,又站起来,注视月亮像一条被暑风驱赶着的船,在穿过云海飞驶。

  除了在楼下等候女主人回来的两个仆人之外,公馆中所有的人都已睡觉了。

  一点钟了。远处传来了马车的辚辚声,它们拐弯了,或者突然停住了,或者跑过去了;寂静逐渐加深,除了一阵疾风或一阵雨外,它愈来愈少被打破了。两点钟了。仍然没有伊迪丝!

  弗洛伦斯更加焦急不安,在她的房间里来回走着,在外面的走廊里来回走着;她向外观看夜色,窗玻璃上的雨点与她自己眼睛中的泪水使她觉得夜色模糊不清,摇摆不定;她仰望天空中忙乱的情形,与地面上的安静截然不同,然而又是那样悄静与冷清。三点钟了!壁炉中掉落的每一粒灰烬中都包含着恐怖。仍然没有伊迪丝!

  弗洛伦斯愈来愈焦急不安,在她的房间中来回走着,在走廊里来回走着,向外望着月亮;她忽然觉得月亮像是个逃亡的人,在急急忙忙地出奔,并掩藏着她那有罪的脸孔。钟打了四下!五下!仍然没有伊迪丝。

  可是突然听到屋子里有人在小心地走动;弗洛伦斯猜想是那坐着等候的仆人当中的一个唤醒了皮普钦太太;她从床上起来,走到楼下她父亲的房门口。弗洛伦斯偷偷地走下楼梯,观察发生的事情。她看到她父亲穿着早晨的长上衣从房间里出来;当听到他的妻子没有回家的消息时,他吃了一惊。他派了一位仆人到马厩去了解,马车夫是不是在那里。当那位仆人走了以后,他自己急忙穿上衣服。

  那位仆人急匆匆地回来了,把马车夫也领来了;马车夫说,他从十点钟以后就一直在家里睡觉。他曾赶着马车把女主人送到她在布鲁克街的老家,卡克先生在那里与她会晤——

  弗洛伦斯这时正站在她曾看到卡克从楼梯上走下来的地方。她又怀着跟见到他时同样的无名的恐怖,哆嗦着,几乎不能沉着冷静地去静听和理解随后发生的事情。

  ——卡克先生告诉他,马车夫继续说道,他的女主人回家时将不用这马车;然后就把他打发走了。

  她看见她的父亲脸色发白,并听见他用急促的、颤抖的吩咐把董贝夫人的侍女找来。整个公馆里的人都被闹醒了;因为侍女立即来了,脸色十分苍白,说话语无伦次。

  她说,她给女主人很早就穿着打扮好了——在她出门之前整整两个钟头之前就已穿着打扮好了——,就像过去常有的情形一样,女主人告诉她,今天夜间她不需要她侍侯。现在她刚从女主人房间里来,可是——

  “可是什么!出了什么事?”弗洛伦斯听到她父亲像一个疯子一样盘问道。

  “可是里面化妆室被锁上了,钥匙不见了。”她的父亲把地上点着的一根蜡烛——什么人把它摆在那里,并忘掉它了——拿起来,怒气冲冲地跑上楼来,弗洛伦斯害怕得几乎来不及逃走。她两只手惊恐地伸开,头发飘动,脸像个精神错乱的人一样,跑回自己的房间,并听见他正在打着伊迪丝的房门要进去。

  当门被打开,他冲进去的时候,他在那里看见了什么呢?谁也不知道。可是扔在地板上的一大堆贵重的物品,有她成为他的妻子以后从他那里所得到的每一件装饰品,她所穿过的每一件衣服和她曾占有过的每一件物品。就是在这个房间里他曾从镜子里看到那高傲的脸不理睬他,就是在这个房间里他曾经无意地想过,当他下一次看到房间里的这些东西时,它们将会是一副什么样子呢!

  他们这些东西胡乱地堆放到柜子里,像发疯似地急忙锁上以后,看见桌子上有几张纸。他们结婚时他曾签名盖章使它生效的财产授与证书和一封信。他读到:她已经走了。他读到:他被蒙上耻辱了。他读到:在结婚两周年的可耻日子,她已跟他选来羞辱她的那个人逃走了。他冲出了房间,冲出了这座公馆,心中怀着一个疯狂的念头:到她被送去的那个地方找到她,凭着他的赤手空拳,把一切美丽的形迹都从她自鸣得意的脸上给毁掉。

  弗洛伦斯不知道她做的是什么,围上围巾,戴上帽子,梦想着跑到街上去,直到找到伊迪丝为止,找到的时候就用胳膊抱住她,挽救她,并把她带回家来。可是当她急急忙忙跑到楼梯间,看到惊慌的仆人们拿着蜡烛,跑上跑下,并在一起交头接耳地谈论着,在她父亲向楼下走过的时候,他们都躲闪到一旁的时候,她醒悟到她自己无能为力;于是就躲藏到被修饰得豪华漂亮的房间(为了这个目的而被修饰的!)当中的一个,觉得她的心悲痛得仿佛要爆裂似的。

  她已被悲痛的洪流所淹没,对她父亲的怜悯是她抗阻这一洪流的第一个清楚的感觉。她对他怀着始终不变的爱;在他遭受不幸的时候,这种爱是这样热烈与忠实,仿佛过去在他幸福走运的日子里,他已成为她的这种梦想的化身,但这种梦想那时已变得无力与模糊了。虽然她对他这个灾难的严重程度并不充分理解,而只是出于无端的恐惧而进行一些猜测,可是现在他站在她面前是个受害的、被抛弃的人;渴望亲近他的爱又推动她走到了他的身边。

  他离开并不久;弗洛伦斯还在那个大房间里哭泣和滋生着这些思想的时候,她听到他回来了。他命令仆人们动手做他们日常的工作,然后走进他自己的房间;他的脚步声是那么沉重,她可以听见他来来回回地从这一头走到另一头。

  弗洛伦斯对他父亲怀着深切的爱;这种爱平时虽然懦怯,但现在当父亲处于患难的时候,它在表现对他的忠诚方面却是勇敢的,没有因为过去受到嫌恶而沮丧;这时候她立刻顺从了这种爱的冲动,没有解下围巾,摘掉帽子,就急急忙忙走下楼去。当她轻轻的脚步在门厅里走着的时候,他从他的房间里走出来。她没有迟疑,急忙向他跑去,一边伸出胳膊,喊道,“啊,爸爸,亲爱的爸爸!”仿佛想要搂住他的脖子似的。

  她本来是会这样做的。可是他在失去理智的情况下,举起残酷的胳膊,挥开手用力打她,打得那么重,使她在大理石的地板上摇摇晃晃,几乎都要倒下来了;他一边打,一边告诉她伊迪丝是个什么人,而且既然她们过去一直结盟来反对他,他就命令她跟随她去。

  她没有倒在他的脚跟前;她没有用颤抖的手捂住脸不看他;她没有哭;她没有责备他一个字。但她看着他,并从内心深处发出了一声凄惨的号哭。因为当她注视着他的时候,她看到他在摧毁她的那个梦想,那个梦想是不论他怎样对待她,她都一直怀有的。她看到他的残酷、冷落和仇恨压制着这个梦想,并践踏着它。她看到她在这世界上没有父亲,成了一个孤儿,于是就从他的屋子里跑出去。

  从他的屋子里跑出去!片刻间,她的手还放在门锁上,喊声还在唇边,他的脸还在那里(被急急忙忙放到地板上的蜡烛正在融化,在黄色的烛光下,在从门上面窗子中射进来的白天的亮光中,他的脸变得更加苍白了。)在另一片刻间,那关闭着的房屋(虽然早已天亮,但却被忘记打开了)中的阴森的黑暗看不见了,早晨眩目的亮光和自由自在的天地出乎意外地代替了它;弗洛伦斯低垂着头,遮掩着她痛苦的眼泪,跑到了街上。
慕若涵

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爱就像蓝天白云,晴空万里,突然暴风雨!
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Chapter 48
The Flight of Florence
In the wildness of her sorrow, shame, and terror, the forlorn girl hurried through the sunshine of a bright morning, as if it were the darkness of a winter night. Wringing her hands and weeping bitterly, insensible to everything but the deep wound in her breast, stunned by the loss of all she loved, left like the sole survivor on a lonely shore from the wreck of a great vessel, she fled without a thought, without a hope, without a purpose, but to fly somewhere anywhere.
The cheerful vista of the long street, burnished by the morning light, the sight of the blue sky and airy clouds, the vigorous freshness of the day, so flushed and rosy in its conquest of the night, awakened no responsive feelings in her so hurt bosom. Somewhere, anywhere, to hide her head! somewhere, anywhere, for refuge, never more to look upon the place from which she fled!
But there were people going to and fro; there were opening shops, and servants at the doors of houses; there was the rising clash and roar of the day's struggle. Florence saw surprise and curiosity in the faces flitting past her; saw long shadows coming back upon the pavement; and heard voices that were strange to her asking her where she went, and what the matter was; and though these frightened her the more at first, and made her hurry on the faster, they did her the good service of recalling her in some degree to herself, and reminding her of the necessity of greater composure.
Where to go? Still somewhere, anywhere! still going on; but where! She thought of the only other time she had been lost in the wild wilderness of London - though not lost as now - and went that way. To the home of Walter's Uncle.
Checking her sobs, and drying her swollen eyes, and endeavouring to calm the agitation of her manner, so as to avoid attracting notice, Florence, resolving to keep to the more quiet streets as long as she could, was going on more quietly herself, when a familiar little shadow darted past upon the sunny pavement, stopped short, wheeled about, came close to her, made off again, bounded round and round her, and Diogenes, panting for breath, and yet making the street ring with his glad bark, was at her feet.
'Oh, Di! oh, dear, true, faithful Di, how did you come here? How could I ever leave you, Di, who would never leave me?'
Florence bent down on the pavement, and laid his rough, old, loving, foolish head against her breast, and they got up together, and went on together; Di more off the ground than on it, endeavouring to kiss his mistress flying, tumbling over and getting up again without the least concern, dashing at big dogs in a jocose defiance of his species, terrifying with touches of his nose young housemaids who were cleaning doorsteps, and continually stopping, in the midst of a thousand extravagances, to look back at Florence, and bark until all the dogs within hearing answered, and all the dogs who could come out, came out to stare at him.
With this last adherent, Florence hurried away in the advancing morning, and the strengthening sunshine, to the City. The roar soon grew more loud, the passengers more numerous, the shops more busy, until she was carried onward in a stream of life setting that way, and flowing, indifferently, past marts and mansions, prisons, churches, market-places, wealth, poverty, good, and evil, like the broad river side by side with it, awakened from its dreams of rushes, willows, and green moss, and rolling on, turbid and troubled, among the works and cares of men, to the deep sea.
At length the quarters of the little Midshipman arose in view. Nearer yet, and the little Midshipman himself was seen upon his post, intent as ever on his observations. Nearer yet, and the door stood open, inviting her to enter. Florence, who had again quickened her pace, as she approached the end of her journey, ran across the road (closely followed by Diogenes, whom the bustle had somewhat confused), ran in, and sank upon the threshold of the well-remembered little parlour.
The Captain, in his glazed hat, was standing over the fire, making his morning's cocoa, with that elegant trifle, his watch, upon the chimney-piece, for easy reference during the progress of the cookery. Hearing a footstep and the rustle of a dress, the Captain turned with a palpitating remembrance of the dreadful Mrs MacStinger, at the instant when Florence made a motion with her hand towards him, reeled, and fell upon the floor.
The Captain, pale as Florence, pale in the very knobs upon his face raised her like a baby, and laid her on the same old sofa upon which she had slumbered long ago.
'It's Heart's Delight!' said the Captain, looking intently in her face. 'It's the sweet creetur grow'd a woman!'
Captain Cuttle was so respectful of her, and had such a reverence for her, in this new character, that he would not have held her in his arms, while she was unconscious, for a thousand pounds.
'My Heart's Delight!' said the Captain, withdrawing to a little distance, with the greatest alarm and sympathy depicted on his countenance. 'If you can hail Ned Cuttle with a finger, do it!'
But Florence did not stir.
'My Heart's Delight!' said the trembling Captain. 'For the sake of Wal'r drownded in the briny deep, turn to, and histe up something or another, if able!'
Finding her insensible to this impressive adjuration also, Captain Cuttle snatched from his breakfast-table a basin of cold water, and sprinkled some upon her face. Yielding to the urgency of the case, the Captain then, using his immense hand with extraordinary gentleness, relieved her of her bonnet, moistened her lips and forehead, put back her hair, covered her feet with his own coat which he pulled off for the purpose, patted her hand - so small in his, that he was struck with wonder when he touched it - and seeing that her eyelids quivered, and that her lips began to move, continued these restorative applications with a better heart.
'Cheerily,' said the Captain. 'Cheerily! Stand by, my pretty one, stand by! There! You're better now. Steady's the word, and steady it is. Keep her so! Drink a little drop o' this here,' said the Captain. 'There you are! What cheer now, my pretty, what cheer now?'
At this stage of her recovery, Captain Cuttle, with an imperfect association of a Watch with a Physician's treatment of a patient, took his own down from the mantel-shelf, and holding it out on his hook, and taking Florence's hand in his, looked steadily from one to the other, as expecting the dial to do something.
'What cheer, my pretty?' said the Captain. 'What cheer now? You've done her some good, my lad, I believe,' said the Captain, under his breath, and throwing an approving glance upon his watch. 'Put you back half-an-hour every morning, and about another quarter towards the arternoon, and you're a watch as can be ekalled by few and excelled by none. What cheer, my lady lass!'
'Captain Cuttle! Is it you?' exclaimed Florence, raising herself a little.
'Yes, yes, my lady lass,' said the Captain, hastily deciding in his own mind upon the superior elegance of that form of address, as the most courtly he could think of.
'Is Walter's Uncle here?' asked Florence.
'Here, pretty?' returned the Captain. 'He ain't been here this many a long day. He ain't been heerd on, since he sheered off arter poor Wal'r. But,' said the Captain, as a quotation, 'Though lost to sight, to memory dear, and England, Home, and Beauty!'
'Do you live here?' asked Florence.
'Yes, my lady lass,' returned the Captain.
'Oh, Captain Cuttle!' cried Florence, putting her hands together, and speaking wildly. 'Save me! keep me here! Let no one know where I am! I'll tell you what has happened by-and-by, when I can. I have no one in the world to go to. Do not send me away!'
'Send you away, my lady lass!' exclaimed the Captain. 'You, my Heart's Delight! Stay a bit! We'll put up this here deadlight, and take a double turn on the key!'
With these words, the Captain, using his one hand and his hook with the greatest dexterity, got out the shutter of the door, put it up, made it all fast, and locked the door itself.
When he came back to the side of Florence, she took his hand, and kissed it. The helplessness of the action, the appeal it made to him, the confidence it expressed, the unspeakable sorrow in her face, the pain of mind she had too plainly suffered, and was suffering then, his knowledge of her past history, her present lonely, worn, and unprotected appearance, all so rushed upon the good Captain together, that he fairly overflowed with compassion and gentleness.
'My lady lass,' said the Captain, polishing the bridge of his nose with his arm until it shone like burnished copper, 'don't you say a word to Ed'ard Cuttle, until such times as you finds yourself a riding smooth and easy; which won't be to-day, nor yet to-morrow. And as to giving of you up, or reporting where you are, yes verily, and by God's help, so I won't, Church catechism, make a note on!'
This the Captain said, reference and all, in one breath, and with much solemnity; taking off his hat at 'yes verily,' and putting it on again, when he had quite concluded.
Florence could do but one thing more to thank him, and to show him how she trusted in him; and she did it' Clinging to this rough creature as the last asylum of her bleeding heart, she laid her head upon his honest shoulder, and clasped him round his neck, and would have kneeled down to bless him, but that he divined her purpose, and held her up like a true man.
'Steady!' said the Captain. 'Steady! You're too weak to stand, you see, my pretty, and must lie down here again. There, there!' To see the Captain lift her on the sofa, and cover her with his coat, would have been worth a hundred state sights. 'And now,' said the Captain, 'you must take some breakfast, lady lass, and the dog shall have some too. And arter that you shall go aloft to old Sol Gills's room, and fall asleep there, like a angel.'
Captain Cuttle patted Diogenes when he made allusion to him, and Diogenes met that overture graciously, half-way. During the administration of the restoratives he had clearly been in two minds whether to fly at the Captain or to offer him his friendship; and he had expressed that conflict of feeling by alternate waggings of his tail, and displays of his teeth, with now and then a growl or so. But by this time, his doubts were all removed. It was plain that he considered the Captain one of the most amiable of men, and a man whom it was an honour to a dog to know.
In evidence of these convictions, Diogenes attended on the Captain while he made some tea and toast, and showed a lively interest in his housekeeping. But it was in vain for the kind Captain to make such preparations for Florence, who sorely tried to do some honour to them, but could touch nothing, and could only weep and weep again.
'Well, well!' said the compassionate Captain, 'arter turning in, my Heart's Delight, you'll get more way upon you. Now, I'll serve out your allowance, my lad.' To Diogenes. 'And you shall keep guard on your mistress aloft.'
Diogenes, however, although he had been eyeing his intended breakfast with a watering mouth and glistening eyes, instead of falling to, ravenously, when it was put before him, pricked up his ears, darted to the shop-door, and barked there furiously: burrowing with his head at the bottom, as if he were bent on mining his way out.
'Can there be anybody there!' asked Florence, in alarm.
'No, my lady lass,' returned the Captain. 'Who'd stay there, without making any noise! Keep up a good heart, pretty. It's only people going by.'
But for all that, Diogenes barked and barked, and burrowed and burrowed, with pertinacious fury; and whenever he stopped to listen, appeared to receive some new conviction into his mind, for he set to, barking and burrowing again, a dozen times. Even when he was persuaded to return to his breakfast, he came jogging back to it, with a very doubtful air; and was off again, in another paroxysm, before touching a morsel.
'If there should be someone listening and watching,' whispered Florence. 'Someone who saw me come - who followed me, perhaps.'
'It ain't the young woman, lady lass, is it?' said the Captain, taken with a bright idea
'Susan?' said Florence, shaking her head. 'Ah no! Susan has been gone from me a long time.'
'Not deserted, I hope?' said the Captain. 'Don't say that that there young woman's run, my pretty!'
'Oh, no, no!' cried Florence. 'She is one of the truest hearts in the world!'
The Captain was greatly relieved by this reply, and expressed his satisfaction by taking off his hard glazed hat, and dabbing his head all over with his handkerchief, rolled up like a ball, observing several times, with infinite complacency, and with a beaming countenance, that he know'd it.
'So you're quiet now, are you, brother?' said the Captain to Diogenes. 'There warn't nobody there, my lady lass, bless you!'
Diogenes was not so sure of that. The door still had an attraction for him at intervals; and he went snuffing about it, and growling to himself, unable to forget the subject. This incident, coupled with the Captain's observation of Florence's fatigue and faintness, decided him to prepare Sol Gills's chamber as a place of retirement for her immediately. He therefore hastily betook himself to the top of the house, and made the best arrangement of it that his imagination and his means suggested.
It was very clean already; and the Captain being an orderly man, and accustomed to make things ship-shape, converted the bed into a couch, by covering it all over with a clean white drapery. By a similar contrivance, the Captain converted the little dressing-table into a species of altar, on which he set forth two silver teaspoons, a flower-pot, a telescope, his celebrated watch, a pocket-comb, and a song-book, as a small collection of rarities, that made a choice appearance. Having darkened the window, and straightened the pieces of carpet on the floor, the Captain surveyed these preparations with great delight, and descended to the little parlour again, to bring Florence to her bower.
Nothing would induce the Captain to believe that it was possible for Florence to walk upstairs. If he could have got the idea into his head, he would have considered it an outrageous breach of hospitality to allow her to do so. Florence was too weak to dispute the point, and the Captain carried her up out of hand, laid her down, and covered her with a great watch-coat.
'My lady lass!' said the Captain, 'you're as safe here as if you was at the top of St Paul's Cathedral, with the ladder cast off. Sleep is what you want, afore all other things, and may you be able to show yourself smart with that there balsam for the still small woice of a wounded mind! When there's anything you want, my Heart's Delight, as this here humble house or town can offer, pass the word to Ed'ard Cuttle, as'll stand off and on outside that door, and that there man will wibrate with joy.' The Captain concluded by kissing the hand that Florence stretched out to him, with the chivalry of any old knight-errant, and walking on tiptoe out of the room.
Descending to the little parlour, Captain Cuttle, after holding a hasty council with himself, decided to open the shop-door for a few minutes, and satisfy himself that now, at all events, there was no one loitering about it. Accordingly he set it open, and stood upon the threshold, keeping a bright look-out, and sweeping the whole street with his spectacles.
'How de do, Captain Gills?' said a voice beside him. The Captain, looking down, found that he had been boarded by Mr Toots while sweeping the horizon.
'How are, you, my lad?' replied the Captain.
'Well, I m pretty well, thank'ee, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots. 'You know I'm never quite what I could wish to be, now. I don't expect that I ever shall be any more.'
Mr Toots never approached any nearer than this to the great theme of his life, when in conversation with Captain Cuttle, on account of the agreement between them.
'Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, 'if I could have the pleasure of a word with you, it's - it's rather particular.'
'Why, you see, my lad,' replied the Captain, leading the way into the parlour, 'I ain't what you may call exactly free this morning; and therefore if you can clap on a bit, I should take it kindly.'
'Certainly, Captain Gills,' replied Mr Toots, who seldom had any notion of the Captain's meaning. 'To clap on, is exactly what I could wish to do. Naturally.'
'If so be, my lad,' returned the Captain. 'Do it!'
The Captain was so impressed by the possession of his tremendous secret - by the fact of Miss Dombey being at that moment under his roof, while the innocent and unconscious Toots sat opposite to him - that a perspiration broke out on his forehead, and he found it impossible, while slowly drying the same, glazed hat in hand, to keep his eyes off Mr Toots's face. Mr Toots, who himself appeared to have some secret reasons for being in a nervous state, was so unspeakably disconcerted by the Captain's stare, that after looking at him vacantly for some time in silence, and shifting uneasily on his chair, he said:
'I beg your pardon, Captain Gills, but you don't happen to see anything particular in me, do you?'
'No, my lad,' returned the Captain. 'No.'
'Because you know,' said Mr Toots with a chuckle, 'I kNOW I'm wasting away. You needn't at all mind alluding to that. I - I should like it. Burgess and Co. have altered my measure, I'm in that state of thinness. It's a gratification to me. I - I'm glad of it. I - I'd a great deal rather go into a decline, if I could. I'm a mere brute you know, grazing upon the surface of the earth, Captain Gills.'
The more Mr Toots went on in this way, the more the Captain was weighed down by his secret, and stared at him. What with this cause of uneasiness, and his desire to get rid of Mr Toots, the Captain was in such a scared and strange condition, indeed, that if he had been in conversation with a ghost, he could hardly have evinced greater discomposure.
'But I was going to say, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots. 'Happening to be this way early this morning - to tell you the truth, I was coming to breakfast with you. As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.'
'Carry on, my lad!' said the Captain, in an admonitory voice.
'Certainly, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots. 'Perfectly true! Happening to be this way early this morning (an hour or so ago), and finding the door shut - '
'What! were you waiting there, brother?' demanded the Captain.
'Not at all, Captain Gills,' returned Mr Toots. 'I didn't stop a moment. I thought you were out. But the person said - by the bye, you don't keep a dog, you, Captain Gills?'
The Captain shook his head.
'To be sure,' said Mr Toots, 'that's exactly what I said. I knew you didn't. There is a dog, Captain Gills, connected with - but excuse me. That's forbidden ground.'
The Captain stared at Mr Toots until he seemed to swell to twice his natural size; and again the perspiration broke out on the Captain's forehead, when he thought of Diogenes taking it into his head to come down and make a third in the parlour.
'The person said,' continued Mr Toots, 'that he had heard a dog barking in the shop: which I knew couldn't be, and I told him so. But he was as positive as if he had seen the dog.'
'What person, my lad?' inquired the Captain.
'Why, you see there it is, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, with a perceptible increase in the nervousness of his manner. 'It's not for me to say what may have taken place, or what may not have taken place. Indeed, I don't know. I get mixed up with all sorts of things that I don't quite understand, and I think there's something rather weak in my - in my head, in short.'
The Captain nodded his own, as a mark of assent.
'But the person said, as we were walking away,' continued Mr Toots, 'that you knew what, under existing circumstances, might occur - he said "might," very strongly - and that if you were requested to prepare yourself, you would, no doubt, come prepared.'
'Person, my lad' the Captain repeated.
'I don't know what person, I'm sure, Captain Gills,' replied Mr Toots, 'I haven't the least idea. But coming to the door, I found him waiting there; and he said was I coming back again, and I said yes; and he said did I know you, and I said, yes, I had the pleasure of your acquaintance - you had given me the pleasure of your acquaintance, after some persuasion; and he said, if that was the case, would I say to you what I have said, about existing circumstances and coming prepared, and as soon as ever I saw you, would I ask you to step round the corner, if it was only for one minute, on most important business, to Mr Brogley's the Broker's. Now, I tell you what, Captain Gills - whatever it is, I am convinced it's very important; and if you like to step round, now, I'll wait here till you come back.'
The Captain, divided between his fear of compromising Florence in some way by not going, and his horror of leaving Mr Toots in possession of the house with a chance of finding out the secret, was a spectacle of mental disturbance that even Mr Toots could not be blind to. But that young gentleman, considering his nautical friend as merely in a state of preparation for the interview he was going to have, was quite satisfied, and did not review his own discreet conduct without chuckle
At length the Captain decided, as the lesser of two evils, to run round to Brogley's the Broker's: previously locking the door that communicated with the upper part of the house, and putting the key in his pocket. 'If so be,' said the Captain to Mr Toots, with not a little shame and hesitation, 'as you'll excuse my doing of it, brother.'
'Captain Gills,' returned Mr Toots, 'whatever you do, is satisfactory to me.
The Captain thanked him heartily, and promising to come back in less than five minutes, went out in quest of the person who had entrusted Mr Toots with this mysterious message. Poor Mr Toots, left to himself, lay down upon the sofa, little thinking who had reclined there last, and, gazing up at the skylight and resigning himself to visions of Miss Dombey, lost all heed of time and place.
It was as well that he did so; for although the Captain was not gone long, he was gone much longer than he had proposed. When he came back, he was very pale indeed, and greatly agitated, and even looked as if he had been shedding tears. He seemed to have lost the faculty of speech, until he had been to the cupboard and taken a dram of rum from the case-bottle, when he fetched a deep breath, and sat down in a chair with his hand before his face.
'Captain Gills,' said Toots, kindly, 'I hope and trust there's nothing wrong?'
'Thank'ee, my lad, not a bit,' said the Captain. 'Quite contrairy.'
'You have the appearance of being overcome, Captain Gills,' observed Mr Toots.
'Why, my lad, I am took aback,' the Captain admitted. 'I am.'
'Is there anything I can do, Captain Gills?' inquired Mr Toots. 'If there is, make use of me.'
The Captain removed his hand from his face, looked at him with a remarkable expression of pity and tenderness, and took him by the hand, and shook it hard.
'No, thank'ee,' said the Captain. 'Nothing. Only I'll take it as a favour if you'll part company for the present. I believe, brother,' wringing his hand again, 'that, after Wal'r, and on a different model, you're as good a lad as ever stepped.'
'Upon my word and honour, Captain Gills,' returned Mr Toots, giving the Captain's hand a preliminary slap before shaking it again, 'it's delightful to me to possess your good opinion. Thank'ee.
'And bear a hand and cheer up,' said the Captain, patting him on the back. 'What! There's more than one sweet creetur in the world!'
'Not to me, Captain Gills,' replied Mr Toots gravely. 'Not to me, I assure you. The state of my feelings towards Miss Dombey is of that unspeakable description, that my heart is a desert island, and she lives in it alone. I'm getting more used up every day, and I'm proud to be so. If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is. I have been prescribed bark, but I don't take it, for I don't wish to have any tone whatever given to my constitution. I'd rather not. This, however, is forbidden ground. Captain Gills, goodbye!'
Captain Cuttle cordially reciprocating the warmth of Mr Toots's farewell, locked the door behind him, and shaking his head with the same remarkable expression of pity and tenderness as he had regarded him with before, went up to see if Florence wanted him.
There was an entire change in the Captain's face as he went upstairs. He wiped his eyes with his handkerchief, and he polished the bridge of his nose with his sleeve as he had done already that morning, but his face was absolutely changed. Now, he might have been thought supremely happy; now, he might have been thought sad; but the kind of gravity that sat upon his features was quite new to them, and was as great an improvement to them as if they had undergone some sublimating process.
He knocked softly, with his hook, at Florence's door, twice or thrice; but, receiving no answer, ventured first to peep in, and then to enter: emboldened to take the latter step, perhaps, by the familiar recognition of Diogenes, who, stretched upon the ground by the side of her couch, wagged his tail, and winked his eyes at the Captain, without being at the trouble of getting up.
She was sleeping heavily, and moaning in her sleep; and Captain Cuttle, with a perfect awe of her youth, and beauty, and her sorrow, raised her head, and adjusted the coat that covered her, where it had fallen off, and darkened the window a little more that she might sleep on, and crept out again, and took his post of watch upon the stairs. All this, with a touch and tread as light as Florence's own.
Long may it remain in this mixed world a point not easy of decision, which is the more beautiful evidence of the Almighty's goodness - the delicate fingers that are formed for sensitiveness and sympathy of touch, and made to minister to pain and grief, or the rough hard Captain Cuttle hand, that the heart teaches, guides, and softens in a moment!
Florence slept upon her couch, forgetful of her homelessness and orphanage, and Captain Cuttle watched upon the stairs. A louder sob or moan than usual, brought him sometimes to her door; but by degrees she slept more peacefully, and the Captain's watch was undisturbed.
这位孤独无助的女孩子怀着极度的悲痛、羞耻与恐怖,在晴朗的早晨的阳光中奔跑着,仿佛这是一个黑暗的冬夜一样。她使劲绞扭着自己的手,痛苦地哭着,除了胸中深刻的创伤之外,什么也感觉不到;由于失去了她所爱的一切,她晕眩发愣;就像一只大船遭难以后在荒凉的海滨唯一还活下来的人一样,她没有思想,没有希望,没有目的地奔跑着,只想跑到一个什么地方去——任何地方都可以。
长街的林荫路景被晨曦抹上一层光泽,令人赏心悦目;蓝色的天空中飘浮着几朵轻轻的白云;白天战胜黑夜之后,精神抖擞,生气勃勃,脸上泛上一片红晕;但这一切在她破碎的心中却唤不起任何反应的感情。到一个什么地方去,任何地方都可以,只要能把她隐藏起来就行!到一个什么地方去,任何地方都可以,只要能找到一个避身之处,永远也不再去看到她逃出来的地方就行!
可是街道上行人来来往往;商店开着门,仆人们出现在房屋的门口;人们为日常生活与工作奔忙而引起的纷争与喧嚣正在逐渐增加。弗洛伦斯看到从她身旁匆匆走过的脸上露出了惊异与好奇的表情,看到长长的影子怎样又返回到人行道上;她听到陌生的在问她,她到哪里去,发生了什么事;虽然这些情况最初使她更加惊恐,促使她加快步子,更加急忙地往前跑去,可是它们却同时使她在一定程度上恢复冷静,并提醒她必须更加泰然自若,这对她是有好处的。
到哪里去?仍然是到一个什么地方去,任何地方都可以!仍然是一直往前走。可是走到哪里去呢?她想起她在唯一的另一次,曾经在这宽阔茫茫的伦敦迷了路——虽然并不是像现在这样迷了路——,于是就沿着那条路走去。到沃尔特舅舅的家里去。
弗洛伦斯抑制住啜泣,擦干了臃肿的眼睛,竭力使她激动的心情平静下来,以免引起行人的注意,并决定尽可能沿着行人比较稀少的街道走,她自己也更镇静了;这时候一个熟悉的小影子飞快地冲到阳光照射着的人行道上来,突然停住,转着圈子,跑近她的身边,然后又跑开,在她的四周跳跃着,原来是戴奥吉尼斯跑到她的脚边来了;它喘着气,但仍让街上响彻了它的快乐的吠叫声。
“啊,戴!啊亲爱的、真诚的、忠实的戴,你怎么跑到这里来的?你永远也不会离开我,我怎么能离开你呢,戴?”
弗洛伦斯在人行道上弯下身去,把他的毛发蓬乱、久已熟悉、感情深切而又傻里傻气的头紧贴在她的胸前,然后一道站起来,一道向前走去。戴跳离地面的时间比在地上走的时间还多,因为它力图飞跳起来去吻他的女主人;它在地上打滚,然后又无忧无虑地起来,向大狗猛冲过去,向它的同类开玩笑地进行挑战;它吓唬正在清扫门阶的年轻女仆,用鼻子去碰她们;它还经常在作了种种放纵的行为之后,突然停下来,回头看着弗洛伦斯,并吠叫着,直到后来附近所有能听到的狗都响应地吠叫起来,所有能跑出来的狗都跑出来瞪着眼睛看着它。
弗洛伦斯跟这个最后的追随者一起,在早晨时间的流逝中,在逐渐热起来的阳光中,向着伦敦城赶紧走去。不久,喧嚣声更响了,行人更多了,商店更忙碌了,直到后来,朝着这个方向流去的生活的溪流载着她向前流去,它像和它并排流动的宽阔的大河一样漠不关心地流过商业中心地带,流过大厦,流过监狱,流过教堂、流过市集,流过财富,流过贫困,流过善与恶;它曾经梦到过芦苇、杨柳与青苔,这时它从这些梦中醒过来,在人们的工作中与忧虑中,混浊不清、起伏不平地滚滚流向深海。
终于,小海军军官候补生管辖的地盘已经出现在眼前了。再走近一些,小海军军官候补生本人也看得见了;他站在他的岗位上,像往常一样,专心致志地观察着。再走近一些,开着的门在邀请她进去。弗洛伦斯在接近旅程终点时已重新加快了步伐,这时跑着穿过了道路(戴奥吉尼斯紧紧跟着,街上熙熙攘攘、乱乱哄哄的景象使它莫名其妙),从门中穿了进去,倒在她记得清清楚楚的小客厅的门槛上。
船长戴着上了光的帽子,站在炉火前面,正煮着早晨的可可;他那精致漂亮的玩艺儿——他的表搁在壁炉架上,这样他在煮可可的时候就可以方便地知道时间。他听到脚步声和衣服移动时发出的窸窣声,心房怦怦跳动地想起可怕的麦克斯适杰太太,于是就转过身去;就在这个时刻,弗洛伦斯向他伸出手,头脑发晕,倒在地板上。
船长脸色像弗洛伦斯一样苍白,脸上的每一个疙瘩都苍白了;他把她像个婴孩一样托了起来,放在她好久以前曾经睡过的那张沙发上。
“这是心的喜悦!”船长目不转睛地注视着她的脸,说道,“这就是那个可爱的小人儿,现在已长成一个大姑娘了!”
卡特尔船长对她是这样有礼貌,对现已成年的她是这样尊敬,就是给他一千镑,他也不会在她没有知觉的情况下把她抱在怀里的。
“我的心的喜悦!”船长向后退了几步,脸上露出极大的惊慌与同情,说道:“如果您能用个指头给内德•卡特尔打出一个信号,那就请打出吧!”
可是弗洛伦斯没有动。
“我的心的喜悦!”颤抖着的船长说道。“看在淹死在深海中的沃尔特的分上,随风转舵吧;如果可能的话,那么就请升上一面什么旗吧!”
卡特尔船长看到她对这打动人心的恳求也毫无感觉,就从吃早餐的桌子上取来一盆冷水,洒了一些在她脸上。由于情况紧急,船长用他的大手非常轻柔地摘下她的帽子,蘸湿她的嘴唇和前额,把她的头发撩回去,还特地脱下他自己的外套,盖在她的脚上,并轻轻地拍着她的手——她的手在他的手中显得那么小,他接触到它的时候,感到万分惊讶——;当他看到她的眼皮在颤动,她的嘴唇开始翕动的时候,他怀着轻松一些的心情,继续进行这些抢救措施。
“高高兴兴地,”船长说道,“高高兴兴地!做好准备,我的宝贝,做好准备!就这样!您现在好一些了。沉着气!别着急!就这么办!现在喝几滴吧,”船长说道,“您看,我说对了吧!现在怎么样,我的宝贝,现在怎么样?”
在她开始慢慢恢复过来的时候,卡特尔船长把表跟医生诊察病人的方法模糊地联系起来了;他从壁炉架上取下表,挂在他的钩子上,然后把弗洛伦斯的手放在他的手里,不断地一会儿看看手,一会儿看看表,好像指望从表的针盘上看到什么似的。
“现在怎么样,我的宝贝?”船长说道,“现在怎么样?我觉得,你已给她帮了一些忙,我的孩子,”船长低声说道,一边向表赞许地看了一眼。“每天早上把你拨回半小时,每天傍晚把你拨回大约一刻钟,这样就只有少数几只表能跟你不分高低,能超过你的就绝对没有了。现在怎么样,我的小姑娘夫人?”
“卡特尔船长,是您吗?”弗洛伦斯稍稍欠起身来,喊道。
“是的,是的,我的小姑娘夫人,”船长在心中急忙决定采用这个最优美的称呼方式,这是他所能想出来的最尊敬的称呼方式。
“沃尔特舅舅在这里吗?”弗洛伦斯问道。
“在这里吗,宝贝?”船长回答道,“他已好久不在这里了。自从他出去寻找可怜的沃尔特以后,就没有听到他的消息了。不过,”船长采用了一段引语,说道,“虽然已看不到他了,但却仍亲切地怀念着他;英国,故乡与美丽万岁!”
“您住在这里吗?”弗洛伦斯问道。
“是的,我的小姑娘夫人,”船长回答道。
“啊,卡特尔船长,”弗洛伦斯喊道,一边把两只手合在一起,疯狂似地说着。“救救我吧!把我留在这里吧!别让任何人知道我在哪里!不久等我恢复精力以后,我会把发生的事情告诉您的。在这世界上,我已没有可以投靠的人了。别把我打发走吧!”
“把您打发走,我的小姑娘夫人!”船长高声喊道。“您,我的心的喜悦,等一会儿,我们把舷窗盖关紧,把钥匙在锁眼里转动两次!”
船长说完之后,就极其熟练地用一只手和他的钩子从门上取下护窗板,把它关上,并把门锁紧。
当他回到弗洛伦斯身边的时候,她拉过他的手,吻了吻它。她在这个动作中表达出她无依无靠的处境,也表达了她对他的恳求和她对他的信任;在她脸上流露出难以形容的悲伤。她在精神上无疑曾经受到而且还继续受着痛苦;他知道她过去的历史,又看到她现在孤苦伶仃、精疲力竭、毫无保护的状态,——所有这一切全都涌集到善良的船长的心头,使他充满了怜悯与温厚的感情。
“我的小姑娘夫人,”船长说道,一边用袖子擦着鼻梁,把它擦得像磨亮的铜一样,闪闪发亮,“在你觉得能风平浪静、从容自在地航行之前,请一个字也别跟爱德华•卡特尔说。不在今天,也不在明天。至于说把您抛弃,或者去报告您在哪里,那么说实话,依靠上帝帮助,我是不会干这种事情的。请去翻一下《教义问答》,在找到这句话的地方,请做个记号!”
这些话连同《教义问答》的引语,船长是一口气说出来的,说时一本正经,在说到“说实话”的时候,他摘下了帽子,在所有的话都说完之后又把它戴上。
弗洛伦斯唯一能做的事就是感谢他,并向他表示她信任他,她这样做了。她抱住这个性格粗犷的人,把他作为她悲痛的心的最后一个庇护所;她把头靠在他的诚实的肩膀上,搂着他的脖子,本来还想跪下去感谢他,可是他猜到了她的意图,就像一个真正的男子汉一样制止了她。
“镇静!”船长说道。“镇静!您知道,我的宝贝,您太虚弱了,不好站着,必须再躺到这里来。好了,好了!”看看船长怎样把她托起来,放到沙发上,并把他的外套覆盖着她,即使把成百个壮丽的景色丢开不看,那也是值得的,“现在,”船长说道,“您必须吃点早饭,小姑娘夫人,这条狗也要吃点。
然后您上楼到老所尔•吉尔斯的房间去,像天使一样睡一觉。”
卡特尔船长提到戴奥吉尼斯的时候,抚摸抚摸它,戴奥吉尼斯亲切地迎着他走过去接受这一建议。在船长对弗洛伦斯进行抢救措施的时候,他显然打不定主意,是向船长猛扑过去呢,还是向他表示友好。他感情上的这种斗争,表现在或者摇摇尾巴,或者露露牙齿,有时还嗥叫一、两声。但到这时他的疑团已完全消除了。很明显,他认为船长是最和蔼可亲的人们当中的一位,跟他认识对任何一条狗来说都是光荣的。
可以证明他怀有这样信念的是,当船长在泡茶和烤面包片的时候,他一直跟随着船长,并对他的家务管理表示出浓厚的兴趣。可是仁厚的船长给弗洛伦斯准备这些饮食却是白费力气,她本想要表示一点领情的心意,尽量设法吃一点,但却什么也吃不下去,而只能哭着,不住地哭着。
“好了,好了,”富有同情心的船长说道,“你需要睡觉了,我的心的喜悦,睡一觉之后你跑的航程会更多。现在,我要给你发口粮了,我的孩子。”他对戴奥吉尼斯说道。“在这之后,你应当到楼上去守卫你的女主人。”
戴奥吉尼斯起初虽然流着口水,眼睛闪着亮光,直盯盯地看着指定给他的早餐,但是当把早餐端到他面前的时候,他却没有饿得迫不及待地向它扑过去,而是竖起耳朵,奔到店门边,狂暴地吠叫着,并用鼻面在门槛下面打着洞,仿佛他想要掘通一条出路似的。
“难道那里有什么人吗?”弗洛伦斯惊恐地问道。
“没有,我的小姑娘夫人,”船长回答道。“有谁到这里会不敲门的呢?大胆些,别害怕,宝贝。看来只不过有人路过这里罢了。”
可是虽然这么说,戴奥吉尼斯仍怀着难以消除的怒气,吠叫着,吠叫着,在门槛下面打着洞,打着洞;每当他停下来听一听的时候,他总好像是更有信心似的,因为他又开始吠叫和打洞,这样反复了十多次。甚至当劝他回去吃早餐的时候,他还是露出十分疑惑的神色,慢吞吞地走着;然后一口也没吃,又突然发起怒来,向门口猛冲过去。
“是不是有什么人在那里偷听和偷看?”弗洛伦斯低声说道,“也许有什么人看到我到这里来了——有什么人跟随着我吧。”
“那位姑娘不会到这里来吧,小姑娘夫人?”船长心中忽然闪现出一个想法,就这样问道。
“苏珊?”弗洛伦斯摇摇头,说道。“嗳,不会的!苏珊早就离开我了。”
“我希望,不是抛开你,擅自离走的吧?”船长问道。“别跟我讲那位姑娘逃跑的事,我的宝贝!”
“啊,不,不!”弗洛伦斯喊道,“她的心是世界上最忠诚的心当中的一个。”
船长听到这个回答,感到十分宽慰,他取下那顶上了光的硬帽子,用卷得像一只球似的手绢轻轻拍打着脑袋各处,并怀着无比自得的心情,露出喜气洋洋的神色,几次重复说道,他知道这一点,他就这样来表示他的满意。
“好了,你现在安静了,是不是,老弟?”船长对戴奥吉尼斯说道,“那里没有什么人,我的小姑娘夫人,上帝保佑您!”
戴奥吉尼斯对这一点倒并不是那么确信无疑。门仍不时吸引他的注意。他嗅嗅它,嗥叫着。没有把这件事忘记。这个情况,以及船长注意到弗洛伦斯的疲倦和虚弱,使卡特尔船长决定立即把所尔•吉尔斯的卧房收拾收拾,作为她隐居休息的地方。因此他急忙跑到房屋顶层,凭着他的想象和他能够动用的材料,把它尽可能布置得好一些。
房间已经很干净了;船长是个有条理的人,习惯于把东西收拾得像船里一样整整齐齐;他把床改成一张躺椅,在上面盖一块干净的白布;船长采用类似的设计,把化妆台改成一个类似圣坛似的东西;他在上面摆了两只银茶匙,一个花盆,一架望远镜,他的有名的表,一只可以随身携带的梳子,一本歌曲集;这些珍品集合在一起,看上去十分优美。船长把窗帘拉下,使房间的光线阴暗一些,又把地板上的地毯拉平,然后十分高兴地把这些布置好了的物品打量了一番以后,又走到楼下的小客厅里去把弗洛伦斯安置到她的闺房里来。
船长无论如何也不会相信弗洛伦斯有力气走上楼去;如果他真以为她有力气上去的话,那么他也认为让弗洛伦斯独自上楼,是粗暴地违反了他殷勤款待客人的规则。弗洛伦斯太虚弱了,不能不同意他的这个看法,所以船长立即用手把她托着送上楼,然后放下来,用航海值班时穿着的一件厚大衣盖在她身上。
“我的小姑娘夫人,”船长说道,“我把梯子抽掉以后,您在这里就像待在圣保罗大教堂里一样安全了。您首先需要睡觉;您的受了创伤的心还有一些痛,但采用香膏治疗之后,也许能使你精神愉快起来!我的心的喜悦,如果您需要什么东西,这个粗陋的住宅或这个城市能够提供的话,那么请您就对爱德华•卡特尔说一句;他将到门外去给您站岗放哨,这样您就会使他心里高兴,精神振奋的。”船长说完之后,像一位老游侠骑士一样,崇敬有礼地吻了吻弗洛伦斯向他伸出的手,并踮着脚尖走出了房间。
卡特尔船长走到楼下小会客室里,心里急忙琢磨了一番之后,决定把店门打开几分钟,使他自己放心,至少现在没有什么人在附近闲逛。因此,他打开门,站在门槛上,小心戒备,戴上眼镜,扫视着整个街道。
“您好,吉尔斯船长!”他身旁的一个声音说道。船长低头看,发现当他向远处扫视的时候,图茨先生已经靠近他了。
“您好吗,我的孩子,”船长回答道。
“唔,我很好,谢谢您,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“您知道,我从没有像现在感觉得这么好,这正是我所希望的。
我也不指望今后什么时候还能会这样好的了。”
图茨先生跟卡特尔船长谈话的时候,从来没有像现在这样明白地暗示过他生活中的这个重要的话题,因为他遵守他们之间达成的协议。
“吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“如果我能荣幸地跟您谈一句话的话,这是——这是一件重要的事情。”
“啊,您听我说,我的孩子,”船长回答道,一边把他领到客厅里,“今天早上我不很空;所以您如果能急忙张帆的话,那么我将会十分感谢。”
“当然,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生回答道,他不太明白船长话中的含意。“急忙张帆,这正是我希望要做的事情。这是很自然的。”
“如果是这样的话,我的孩子,”船长回答道,“那就请这么做吧。”
船长由于保守着那极大的秘密——董贝小姐这时候就在他的家里,而天真的图茨先生则坐在他的对面,对这一无所知——,心神十分不定,额上都冒出了一颗汗珠。当他手里拿着上了光的帽子,慢条斯理地把它擦干的时候,他觉得他不能把眼睛从图茨先生的脸上移开。看来,图茨先生本人也有一些秘密的理由使他感到紧张不安;船长的凝视使他心烦意乱;他默默地、发呆地向他看了一些时候,很不自在地在椅子上移来移去,然后说道:
“请原谅,吉尔斯船长,您没有看到我有什么特殊的地方吧,是不是?”
“没有,我的孩子,”船长回答道,“没有。”
“因为您知道,”图茨先生吃吃地笑了一下,说道,“我知道我瘦了。您丝毫不必顾虑,指出这一点好了。我——我喜欢这样。我瘦得这个样子,伯吉斯公司已经重新量了我的尺寸。我感到满意。我——我喜欢这样。如果我能做得到的话,那么我真十分愿意衰弱下去。您知道,我只不过是一头在地面上吃草的畜牲罢了。吉尔斯船长。”
图茨先生愈是这样滔滔不绝地说下去,船长被他自己的秘密压得愈是难受,也就愈是凝神地注视着他。由于存在这样一个使他感到不安的原因,又由于他一心想摆脱掉图茨先生,所以他当时处在十分惶恐与奇怪的状态中;如果他是在跟一个鬼怪交谈的话,那么他也未必会露出更为心绪不宁的神色的。
“可是我现在想跟您谈一下,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“今天早上我正好往这里走过来,——说老实话吧,我想来跟您一道吃早饭。至于睡觉,您知道,我现在完全不睡觉了。我可以说跟一位更夫一样,所不同的是,没有人给我发工资,更夫也没有什么沉重的心事。”
“说下去,我的孩子!”船长用警告的语气说道。
“当然,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道。“完全正确!今天早上我正好往这里走过来(大概在一个小时以前),发现门关着——”
“怎么!是•您在门口等候着呀,老弟?”船长问道。
“完全不是,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生回答道。“我片刻也没有停留。我以为您出去了。可是那人说——顺便问一下,您家里没有养狗吧,•是•不•是,吉尔斯船长?”
船长摇摇头。
“不错,”图茨先生说道,“我也正是这样说的。我知道您没有养狗。有一条狗,吉尔斯船长,是属于——不过对不起。
那是禁区。”
船长凝神看着图茨先生,直到他的身形似乎比原来的大出一倍为止;当船长想到戴奥吉尼斯忽然想要跑到楼下来,成为客厅里的第三者的时候,他的额上又冒汗了。
“那个人说,“图茨先生继续说道,“他听见有条狗在这店里叫;但我知道这是不可能的,我也是这样对他说的;可是他说得那么斩钉截铁,仿佛他亲眼看到那条狗似的。”
“是个什么人,我的孩子?”船长问道。
“唔,您看,事情是这样的,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生神态显得更加紧张不安,说道,“这不该由我来说什么事情可能发生或什么事情可能不会发生。确实,我不知道。我把我不十分明白的各种事情全混淆了,我觉得我的——直截了当地说吧,我觉得我的脑子有些差劲。”
船长点点头,表示同意。
“可是当我们离开的时候,”图茨先生继续说道,“那个人说,您知道在目前情况下•可•能会发生什么事情——他说‘可能’这两个字的时候是很富于表情的。——他还说,如果请您做好准备的话,那么您无疑就会做好准备的。”
“这是个什么人,我的孩子?”船长重复问道。
“确实,我不知道这是个什么人,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生回答道,“我一点也不知道。不过我走到门口的时候,发现他在那里等候着;他问我是不是还回来,我说还回来,他问我是不是认识您,我说是的,在我向您请求之后,我荣幸地跟您结识了;他说,如果是这样的话,那么我是不是跟您说一说我刚才已经对您说过的,关于在目前情况下和做好准备等等那些话;他还说,是不是我一见到您,就请您拐过这条街角,到经纪人布罗格利先生那里去一下。哪怕去一分钟也好,因为有一件极为重要的事情。我不知道这是一件什么事情,但我相信那是很重要的;如果您高兴现在就去,那么我可以在这里等您回来。”
船长担心不去会在某些方面连累到弗洛伦斯,但又怕把图茨先生单独留在屋子里,他可能碰巧会发现那个秘密,这左右为难的考虑使他心烦意乱,甚至连图茨先生也看出来了。不过这位年轻的先生以为他这位海员朋友只不过是在为即将进行的会晤进行准备,所以感到很满意,当他回想到自己谨慎的行为时,他还吃吃地笑了几声。
两害相权取其轻。船长终于决定到经纪人布罗格利那里去,并事先把通到楼上的门锁上,钥匙放在他自己的衣袋中。
“如果是这样的话,”船长不是毫无羞愧与犹豫地对图茨先生说道,“请您原谅我这么做吧,老弟。”
“吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生回答道,“不论您做什么,我都是满意的。”
船长由衷地感谢他,答应在不到五分钟的时间内回来,然后就出去寻找那位托图茨先生捎带这神秘口讯的人。可怜的图茨先生在独自留下的时候,躺在沙发上,根本没有猜想到谁曾经在这里躺过,同时仰望着天窗,沉陷在对董贝小姐的胡思乱想之中,忘记了时间与地点。
对他来说这样倒也有好处;因为船长虽然走了不久,但比他原先提出的时间还是长久好多。他回来的时候,脸色苍白,情绪十分激动,甚至看去仿佛流过眼泪似的。他似乎失去了说话的能力,直到他走到碗柜跟前,深深地吸了一口气,用手捂着脸,在椅子中坐下来为止。
“吉尔斯船长,”图茨亲切地问道,“我希望,而且我也相信,没有什么不好的事情吧?”
“谢谢您,我的孩子,一点也没有。”船长说道,“情况恰恰相反。”
“从您的神态看,您太激动了,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道。
“唔,我的孩子,我被吓了一跳,”船长承认道,“确实是这样。”
“我能帮助您做点事情吗,吉尔斯船长?”图茨先生说道。
“如果有什么事情需要我帮助的话,那么您就指派我去做吧。”
船长把手从脸上拿下来,露出某种异常怜悯与亲切的表情看着他,并拉住他的手,紧紧地握着。
“没有,谢谢您,”船长说道。“没有什么事。不过如果您现在跟我告别的话,那么我就觉得您是给我做了一件好事了。我相信,老弟,”他又紧握着他的手,“除了沃尔特,您是世界上最好的孩子了,虽然您跟他是不同的类型。”
“说实话,我以荣誉发誓,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生回答道,他先轻轻地拍了一下船长的手,然后又握着它,“我真高兴能得到您的好评。谢谢您。”
“请您帮个忙,高兴起来吧,”船长拍拍他的背,说道。
“有什么了不起!世界上可爱的姑娘不止一个哪!”
“对我来说不是这样,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生一本正经地回答道。“请相信我,对我来说不是这样。我对董贝小姐的感情是难以形容的;我的心是一个荒岛,只有她一个人住在上面。我一天天地消瘦下去,我对这感到自豪。如果您能看到我脱掉靴子以后的腿,那么您对什么是单恋就可以有一点概念了。医生给我开药方,让我服规那皮,可是我没有服,因为我根本不想增强我的体质。是的,我不想。不过,这是禁区。吉尔斯船长,再见!”
卡特尔船长真心诚意地回答了图茨先生热情的告别,然后把门锁上,一边露出和他刚才看图茨时同样异常的怜悯与亲切的表情,摇着头,一边上楼去看看弗洛伦斯是否需要他帮忙。
船长上楼去的时候,脸上的表情完全改变了。他用手绢抹去眼泪,又像他这天早上所做的那样,用袖子擦亮他的鼻梁;可是他脸上的表情是截然不同地改变了。他一会儿看上去是无比地快乐,一会儿看上去又像是怀着悲伤的心情;但是在他脸上有一种庄重的神色,却是过去从来没有过的,它使他的容貌变得漂亮起来了,仿佛他的脸已经历过某种升华的过程似的。
他用钩子轻轻地在弗洛伦斯的门上敲了两、三下;但是得不到任何回答,他就大胆地先往里窥探了一下,然后走进去;他之所以大胆地采取了后一个步骤,也许是因为戴奥吉尼斯把他当做熟人来欢迎的缘故。戴奥吉尼斯伸直身子,躺在她的睡椅旁边的地上,向船长摇着尾巴,眨巴着眼睛,但却懒得起来。
她正在酣睡,在睡眠中还哼叫着。卡特尔船长对她的年轻、美丽和忧伤怀着完全崇敬的心情,抬起她的头,把这时已经掉落的大衣重新拉好,复盖在她身上,并把窗帘遮蔽得更严密一些,使她可以继续好好地睡觉,然后又踮着脚尖,走出房间,在楼梯上守卫。他所做的这一切,不论是接触一下还是移动一下脚步,全都是轻悄悄的,就像弗洛伦斯自己的一样。
在这复杂的世界上可能还会长久留下一个不易判断的问题:哪一个能更美好地证明全能的上帝的慈善?——是那创造出来,为了进行同情的、温存的抚摸,并用来减轻痛苦与悲哀的巧妙的手指呢?还是那只由心灵进行教育、指导并能在片刻间使它变得温柔起来的、卡特尔船长的粗糙的、坚硬的手呢?
弗洛伦斯在她的躺椅中睡着,忘记了她无家可归、孤苦伶仃的处境;卡特尔船长则在楼梯上守卫着。一声比平常更响的抽泣或哼叫有时促使他走到她的门口,但是逐渐地,她睡得比较沉静了;船长的守卫也没有再受到干扰。
慕若涵

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Chapter 49
The Midshipman makes a Discovery
It was long before Florence awoke. The day was in its prime, the day was in its wane, and still, uneasy in mind and body, she slept on; unconscious of her strange bed, of the noise and turmoil in the street, and of the light that shone outside the shaded window. Perfect unconsciousness of what had happened in the home that existed no more, even the deep slumber of exhaustion could not produce. Some undefined and mournful recollection of it, dozing uneasily but never sleeping, pervaded all her rest. A dull sorrow, like a half-lulled sense of pain, was always present to her; and her pale cheek was oftener wet with tears than the honest Captain, softly putting in his head from time to time at the half-closed door, could have desired to see it.
The sun was getting low in the west, and, glancing out of a red mist, pierced with its rays opposite loopholes and pieces of fretwork in the spires of city churches, as if with golden arrows that struck through and through them - and far away athwart the river and its flat banks, it was gleaming like a path of fire - and out at sea it was irradiating sails of ships - and, looked towards, from quiet churchyards, upon hill-tops in the country, it was steeping distant prospects in a flush and glow that seemed to mingle earth and sky together in one glorious suffusion - when Florence, opening her heavy eyes, lay at first, looking without interest or recognition at the unfamiliar walls around her, and listening in the same regardless manner to the noises in the street. But presently she started up upon her couch, gazed round with a surprised and vacant look, and recollected all.
'My pretty,' said the Captain, knocking at the door, 'what cheer?'
'Dear friend,' cried Florence, hurrying to him, 'is it you?'
The Captain felt so much pride in the name, and was so pleased by the gleam of pleasure in her face, when she saw him, that he kissed his hook, by way of reply, in speechless gratification.
'What cheer, bright di'mond?' said the Captain.
'I have surely slept very long,' returned Florence. 'When did I come here? Yesterday?'
'This here blessed day, my lady lass,' replied the Captain.
'Has there been no night? Is it still day?' asked Florence.
'Getting on for evening now, my pretty,' said the Captain, drawing back the curtain of the window. 'See!'
Florence, with her hand upon the Captain's arm, so sorrowful and timid, and the Captain with his rough face and burly figure, so quietly protective of her, stood in the rosy light of the bright evening sky, without saying a word. However strange the form of speech into which he might have fashioned the feeling, if he had had to give it utterance, the Captain felt, as sensibly as the most eloquent of men could have done, that there was something in the tranquil time and in its softened beauty that would make the wounded heart of Florence overflow; and that it was better that such tears should have their way. So not a word spake Captain Cuttle. But when he felt his arm clasped closer, and when he felt the lonely head come nearer to it, and lay itself against his homely coarse blue sleeve, he pressed it gently with his rugged hand, and understood it, and was understood.
'Better now, my pretty!' said the Captain. 'Cheerily, cheerily, I'll go down below, and get some dinner ready. Will you come down of your own self, arterwards, pretty, or shall Ed'ard Cuttle come and fetch you?'
As Florence assured him that she was quite able to walk downstairs, the Captain, though evidently doubtful of his own hospitality in permitting it, left her to do so, and immediately set about roasting a fowl at the fire in the little parlour. To achieve his cookery with the greater skill, he pulled off his coat, tucked up his wristbands, and put on his glazed hat, without which assistant he never applied himself to any nice or difficult undertaking.
After cooling her aching head and burning face in the fresh water which the Captain's care had provided for her while she slept, Florence went to the little mirror to bind up her disordered hair. Then she knew - in a moment, for she shunned it instantly, that on her breast there was the darkening mark of an angry hand.
Her tears burst forth afresh at the sight; she was ashamed and afraid of it; but it moved her to no anger against him. Homeless and fatherless, she forgave him everything; hardly thought that she had need to forgive him, or that she did; but she fled from the idea of him as she had fled from the reality, and he was utterly gone and lost. There was no such Being in the world.
What to do, or where to live, Florence - poor, inexperienced girl! - could not yet consider. She had indistinct dreams of finding, a long way off, some little sisters to instruct, who would be gentle with her, and to whom, under some feigned name, she might attach herself, and who would grow up in their happy home, and marry, and be good to their old governess, and perhaps entrust her, in time, with the education of their own daughters. And she thought how strange and sorrowful it would be, thus to become a grey-haired woman, carrying her secret to the grave, when Florence Dombey was forgotten. But it was all dim and clouded to her now. She only knew that she had no Father upon earth, and she said so, many times, with her suppliant head hidden from all, but her Father who was in Heaven.
Her little stock of money amounted to but a few guineas. With a part of this, it would be necessary to buy some clothes, for she had none but those she wore. She was too desolate to think how soon her money would be gone - too much a child in worldly matters to be greatly troubled on that score yet, even if her other trouble had been less. She tried to calm her thoughts and stay her tears; to quiet the hurry in her throbbing head, and bring herself to believe that what had happened were but the events of a few hours ago, instead of weeks or months, as they appeared; and went down to her kind protector.
The Captain had spread the cloth with great care, and was making some egg-sauce in a little saucepan: basting the fowl from time to time during the process with a strong interest, as it turned and browned on a string before the fire. Having propped Florence up with cushions on the sofa, which was already wheeled into a warm corner for her greater comfort, the Captain pursued his cooking with extraordinary skill, making hot gravy in a second little saucepan, boiling a handful of potatoes in a third, never forgetting the egg-sauce in the first, and making an impartial round of basting and stirring with the most useful of spoons every minute. Besides these cares, the Captain had to keep his eye on a diminutive frying-pan, in which some sausages were hissing and bubbling in a most musical manner; and there was never such a radiant cook as the Captain looked, in the height and heat of these functions: it being impossible to say whether his face or his glazed hat shone the brighter.
The dinner being at length quite ready, Captain Cuttle dished and served it up, with no less dexterity than he had cooked it. He then dressed for dinner, by taking off his glazed hat and putting on his coat. That done, he wheeled the table close against Florence on the sofa, said grace, unscrewed his hook, screwed his fork into its place, and did the honours of the table
'My lady lass,' said the Captain, 'cheer up, and try to eat a deal. Stand by, my deary! Liver wing it is. Sarse it is. Sassage it is. And potato!' all which the Captain ranged symmetrically on a plate, and pouring hot gravy on the whole with the useful spoon, set before his cherished guest.
'The whole row o' dead lights is up, for'ard, lady lass,' observed the Captain, encouragingly, 'and everythink is made snug. Try and pick a bit, my pretty. If Wal'r was here - '
'Ah! If I had him for my brother now!' cried Florence.
'Don't! don't take on, my pretty!' said the Captain, 'awast, to obleege me! He was your nat'ral born friend like, warn't he, Pet?'
Florence had no words to answer with. She only said, 'Oh, dear, dear Paul! oh, Walter!'
'The wery planks she walked on,' murmured the Captain, looking at her drooping face, 'was as high esteemed by Wal'r, as the water brooks is by the hart which never rejices! I see him now, the wery day as he was rated on them Dombey books, a speaking of her with his face a glistening with doo - leastways with his modest sentiments - like a new blowed rose, at dinner. Well, well! If our poor Wal'r was here, my lady lass - or if he could be - for he's drownded, ain't he?'
Florence shook her head.
'Yes, yes; drownded,' said the Captain, soothingly; 'as I was saying, if he could be here he'd beg and pray of you, my precious, to pick a leetle bit, with a look-out for your own sweet health. Whereby, hold your own, my lady lass, as if it was for Wal'r's sake, and lay your pretty head to the wind.'
Florence essayed to eat a morsel, for the Captain's pleasure. The Captain, meanwhile, who seemed to have quite forgotten his own dinner, laid down his knife and fork, and drew his chair to the sofa.
'Wal'r was a trim lad, warn't he, precious?' said the Captain, after sitting for some time silently rubbing his chin, with his eyes fixed upon her, 'and a brave lad, and a good lad?'
Florence tearfully assented.
'And he's drownded, Beauty, ain't he?' said the Captain, in a soothing voice.
Florence could not but assent again.
'He was older than you, my lady lass,' pursued the Captain, 'but you was like two children together, at first; wam't you?'
Florence answered 'Yes.'
'And Wal'r's drownded,' said the Captain. 'Ain't he?'
The repetition of this inquiry was a curious source of consolation, but it seemed to be one to Captain Cuttle, for he came back to it again and again. Florence, fain to push from her her untasted dinner, and to lie back on her sofa, gave him her hand, feeling that she had disappointed him, though truly wishing to have pleased him after all his trouble, but he held it in his own (which shook as he held it), and appearing to have quite forgotten all about the dinner and her want of appetite, went on growling at intervals, in a ruminating tone of sympathy, 'Poor Wal'r. Ay, ay! Drownded. Ain't he?' And always waited for her answer, in which the great point of these singular reflections appeared to consist.
The fowl and sausages were cold, and the gravy and the egg-sauce stagnant, before the Captain remembered that they were on the board, and fell to with the assistance of Diogenes, whose united efforts quickly dispatched the banquet. The Captain's delight and wonder at the quiet housewifery of Florence in assisting to clear the table, arrange the parlour, and sweep up the hearth - only to be equalled by the fervency of his protest when she began to assist him - were gradually raised to that degree, that at last he could not choose but do nothing himself, and stand looking at her as if she were some Fairy, daintily performing these offices for him; the red rim on his forehead glowing again, in his unspeakable admiration.
But when Florence, taking down his pipe from the mantel-shelf gave it into his hand, and entreated him to smoke it, the good Captain was so bewildered by her attention that he held it as if he had never held a pipe, in all his life. Likewise, when Florence, looking into the little cupboard, took out the case-bottle and mixed a perfect glass of grog for him, unasked, and set it at his elbow, his ruddy nose turned pale, he felt himself so graced and honoured. When he had filled his pipe in an absolute reverie of satisfaction, Florence lighted it for him - the Captain having no power to object, or to prevent her - and resuming her place on the old sofa, looked at him with a smile so loving and so grateful, a smile that showed him so plainly how her forlorn heart turned to him, as her face did, through grief, that the smoke of the pipe got into the Captain's throat and made him cough, and got into the Captain's eyes, and made them blink and water.
The manner in which the Captain tried to make believe that the cause of these effects lay hidden in the pipe itself, and the way in which he looked into the bowl for it, and not finding it there, pretended to blow it out of the stem, was wonderfully pleasant. The pipe soon getting into better condition, he fell into that state of repose becoming a good smoker; but sat with his eyes fixed on Florence, and, with a beaming placidity not to be described, and stopping every now and then to discharge a little cloud from his lips, slowly puffed it forth, as if it were a scroll coming out of his mouth, bearing the legend 'Poor Wal'r, ay, ay. Drownded, ain't he?' after which he would resume his smoking with infinite gentleness.
Unlike as they were externally - and there could scarcely be a more decided contrast than between Florence in her delicate youth and beauty, and Captain Cuttle with his knobby face, his great broad weather-beaten person, and his gruff voice - in simple innocence of the world's ways and the world's perplexities and dangers, they were nearly on a level. No child could have surpassed Captain Cuttle in inexperience of everything but wind and weather; in simplicity, credulity, and generous trustfulness. Faith, hope, and charity, shared his whole nature among them. An odd sort of romance, perfectly unimaginative, yet perfectly unreal, and subject to no considerations of worldly prudence or practicability, was the only partner they had in his character. As the Captain sat, and smoked, and looked at Florence, God knows what impossible pictures, in which she was the principal figure, presented themselves to his mind. Equally vague and uncertain, though not so sanguine, were her own thoughts of the life before her; and even as her tears made prismatic colours in the light she gazed at, so, through her new and heavy grief, she already saw a rainbow faintly shining in the far-off sky. A wandering princess and a good monster in a storybook might have sat by the fireside, and talked as Captain Cuttle and poor Florence talked - and not have looked very much unlike them.
The Captain was not troubled with the faintest idea of any difficulty in retaining Florence, or of any responsibility thereby incurred. Having put up the shutters and locked the door, he was quite satisfied on this head. If she had been a Ward in Chancery, it would have made no difference at all to Captain Cuttle. He was the last man in the world to be troubled by any such considerations.
So the Captain smoked his pipe very comfortably, and Florence and he meditated after their own manner. When the pipe was out, they had some tea; and then Florence entreated him to take her to some neighbouring shop, where she could buy the few necessaries she immediately wanted. It being quite dark, the Captain consented: peeping carefully out first, as he had been wont to do in his time of hiding from Mrs MacStinger; and arming himself with his large stick, in case of an appeal to arms being rendered necessary by any unforeseen circumstance.
The pride Captain Cuttle had, in giving his arm to Florence, and escorting her some two or three hundred yards, keeping a bright look-out all the time, and attracting the attention of everyone who passed them, by his great vigilance and numerous precautions, was extreme. Arrived at the shop, the Captain felt it a point of delicacy to retire during the making of the purchases, as they were to consist of wearing apparel; but he previously deposited his tin canister on the counter, and informing the young lady of the establishment that it contained fourteen pound two, requested her, in case that amount of property should not be sufficient to defray the expenses of his niece's little outfit - at the word 'niece,' he bestowed a most significant look on Florence, accompanied with pantomime, expressive of sagacity and mystery - to have the goodness to 'sing out,' and he would make up the difference from his pocket. Casually consulting his big watch, as a deep means of dazzling the establishment, and impressing it with a sense of property, the Captain then kissed his hook to his niece, and retired outside the window, where it was a choice sight to see his great face looking in from time to time, among the silks and ribbons, with an obvious misgiving that Florence had been spirited away by a back door.
'Dear Captain Cuttle,' said Florence, when she came out with a parcel, the size of which greatly disappointed the Captain, who had expected to see a porter following with a bale of goods, 'I don't want this money, indeed. I have not spent any of it. I have money of my own.'
'My lady lass,' returned the baffled Captain, looking straight down the street before them, 'take care on it for me, will you be so good, till such time as I ask ye for it?'
'May I put it back in its usual place,' said Florence, 'and keep it there?'
The Captain was not at all gratified by this proposal, but he answered, 'Ay, ay, put it anywheres, my lady lass, so long as you know where to find it again. It ain't o' no use to me,' said the Captain. 'I wonder I haven't chucked it away afore now.
The Captain was quite disheartened for the moment, but he revived at the first touch of Florence's arm, and they returned with the same precautions as they had come; the Captain opening the door of the little Midshipman's berth, and diving in, with a suddenness which his great practice only could have taught him. During Florence's slumber in the morning, he had engaged the daughter of an elderly lady who usually sat under a blue umbrella in Leadenhall Market, selling poultry, to come and put her room in order, and render her any little services she required; and this damsel now appearing, Florence found everything about her as convenient and orderly, if not as handsome, as in the terrible dream she had once called Home.
When they were alone again, the Captain insisted on her eating a slice of dry toast' and drinking a glass of spiced negus (which he made to perfection); and, encouraging her with every kind word and inconsequential quotation be could possibly think of, led her upstairs to her bedroom. But he too had something on his mind, and was not easy in his manner.
'Good-night, dear heart,' said Captain Cuttle to her at her chamber-door.
Florence raised her lips to his face, and kissed him.
At any other time the Captain would have been overbalanced by such a token of her affection and gratitude; but now, although he was very sensible of it, he looked in her face with even more uneasiness than he had testified before, and seemed unwilling to leave her.
'Poor Wal'r!' said the Captain.
'Poor, poor Walter!' sighed Florence.
'Drownded, ain't he?' said the Captain.
Florence shook her head, and sighed.
'Good-night, my lady lass!' said Captain Cuttle, putting out his hand.
'God bless you, dear, kind friend!'
But the Captain lingered still.
'Is anything the matter, dear Captain Cuttle?' said Florence, easily alarmed in her then state of mind. 'Have you anything to tell me?'
'To tell you, lady lass!' replied the Captain, meeting her eyes in confusion. 'No, no; what should I have to tell you, pretty! You don't expect as I've got anything good to tell you, sure?'
'No!' said Florence, shaking her head.
The Captain looked at her wistfully, and repeated 'No,' - ' still lingering, and still showing embarrassment.
'Poor Wal'r!' said the Captain. 'My Wal'r, as I used to call you! Old Sol Gills's nevy! Welcome to all as knowed you, as the flowers in May! Where are you got to, brave boy? Drownded, ain't he?'
Concluding his apostrophe with this abrupt appeal to Florence, the Captain bade her good-night, and descended the stairs, while Florence remained at the top, holding the candle out to light him down. He was lost in the obscurity, and, judging from the sound of his receding footsteps, was in the act of turning into the little parlour, when his head and shoulders unexpectedly emerged again, as from the deep, apparently for no other purpose than to repeat, 'Drownded, ain't he, pretty?' For when he had said that in a tone of tender condolence, he disappeared.
Florence was very sorry that she should unwittingly, though naturally, have awakened these associations in the mind of her protector, by taking refuge there; and sitting down before the little table where the Captain had arranged the telescope and song-book, and those other rarities, thought of Walter, and of all that was connected with him in the past, until she could have almost wished to lie down on her bed and fade away. But in her lonely yearning to the dead whom she had loved, no thought of home - no possibility of going back - no presentation of it as yet existing, or as sheltering her father - once entered her thoughts. She had seen the murder done. In the last lingering natural aspect in which she had cherished him through so much, he had been torn out of her heart, defaced, and slain. The thought of it was so appalling to her, that she covered her eyes, and shrunk trembling from the least remembrance of the deed, or of the cruel hand that did it. If her fond heart could have held his image after that, it must have broken; but it could not; and the void was filled with a wild dread that fled from all confronting with its shattered fragments - with such a dread as could have risen out of nothing but the depths of such a love, so wronged.
She dared not look into the glass; for the sight of the darkening mark upon her bosom made her afraid of herself, as if she bore about her something wicked. She covered it up, with a hasty, faltering hand, and in the dark; and laid her weary head down, weeping.
The Captain did not go to bed for a long time. He walked to and fro in the shop and in the little parlour, for a full hour, and, appearing to have composed himself by that exercise, sat down with a grave and thoughtful face, and read out of a Prayer-book the forms of prayer appointed to be used at sea. These were not easily disposed of; the good Captain being a mighty slow, gruff reader, and frequently stopping at a hard word to give himself such encouragement as Now, my lad! With a will!' or, 'Steady, Ed'ard Cuttle, steady!' which had a great effect in helping him out of any difficulty. Moreover, his spectacles greatly interfered with his powers of vision. But notwithstanding these drawbacks, the Captain, being heartily in earnest, read the service to the very last line, and with genuine feeling too; and approving of it very much when he had done, turned in, under the counter (but not before he had been upstairs, and listened at Florence's door), with a serene breast, and a most benevolent visage.
The Captain turned out several times in the course of the night, to assure himself that his charge was resting quietly; and once, at daybreak, found that she was awake: for she called to know if it were he, on hearing footsteps near her door.
'Yes' my lady lass,' replied the Captain, in a growling whisper. 'Are you all right, di'mond?'
Florence thanked him, and said 'Yes.'
The Captain could not lose so favourable an opportunity of applying his mouth to the keyhole, and calling through it, like a hoarse breeze, 'Poor Wal'r! Drownded, ain't he?' after which he withdrew, and turning in again, slept till seven o'clock.
Nor was he free from his uneasy and embarrassed manner all that day; though Florence, being busy with her needle in the little parlour, was more calm and tranquil than she had been on the day preceding. Almost always when she raised her eyes from her work, she observed the captain looking at her, and thoughtfully stroking his chin; and he so often hitched his arm-chair close to her, as if he were going to say something very confidential, and hitched it away again, as not being able to make up his mind how to begin, that in the course of the day he cruised completely round the parlour in that frail bark, and more than once went ashore against the wainscot or the closet door, in a very distressed condition.
It was not until the twilight that Captain Cuttle, fairly dropping anchor, at last, by the side of Florence, began to talk at all connectedly. But when the light of the fire was shining on the walls and ceiling of the little room, and on the tea-board and the cups and saucers that were ranged upon the table, and on her calm face turned towards the flame, and reflecting it in the tears that filled her eyes, the Captain broke a long silence thus:
'You never was at sea, my own?'
'No,' replied Florence.
'Ay,' said the Captain, reverentially; 'it's a almighty element. There's wonders in the deep, my pretty. Think on it when the winds is roaring and the waves is rowling. Think on it when the stormy nights is so pitch dark,' said the Captain, solemnly holding up his hook, 'as you can't see your hand afore you, excepting when the wiwid lightning reweals the same; and when you drive, drive, drive through the storm and dark, as if you was a driving, head on, to the world without end, evermore, amen, and when found making a note of. Them's the times, my beauty, when a man may say to his messmate (previously a overhauling of the wollume), "A stiff nor'wester's blowing, Bill; hark, don't you hear it roar now! Lord help 'em, how I pitys all unhappy folks ashore now!"' Which quotation, as particularly applicable to the terrors of the ocean, the Captain delivered in a most impressive manner, concluding with a sonorous 'Stand by!'
'Were you ever in a dreadful storm?' asked Florence.
'Why ay, my lady lass, I've seen my share of bad weather,' said the Captain, tremulously wiping his head, 'and I've had my share of knocking about; but - but it ain't of myself as I was a meaning to speak. Our dear boy,' drawing closer to her, 'Wal'r, darling, as was drownded.'
The Captain spoke in such a trembling voice, and looked at Florence with a face so pale and agitated, that she clung to his hand in affright.
'Your face is changed,' cried Florence. 'You are altered in a moment. What is it? Dear Captain Cuttle, it turns me cold to see you!'
'What! Lady lass,' returned the Captain, supporting her with his hand, 'don't be took aback. No, no! All's well, all's well, my dear. As I was a saying - Wal'r - he's - he's drownded. Ain't he?'
Florence looked at him intently; her colour came and went; and she laid her hand upon her breast.
'There's perils and dangers on the deep, my beauty,' said the Captain; 'and over many a brave ship, and many and many a bould heart, the secret waters has closed up, and never told no tales. But there's escapes upon the deep, too, and sometimes one man out of a score, - ah! maybe out of a hundred, pretty, - has been saved by the mercy of God, and come home after being given over for dead, and told of all hands lost. I - I know a story, Heart's Delight,' stammered the Captain, 'o' this natur, as was told to me once; and being on this here tack, and you and me sitting alone by the fire, maybe you'd like to hear me tell it. Would you, deary?'
Florence, trembling with an agitation which she could not control or understand, involuntarily followed his glance, which went behind her into the shop, where a lamp was burning. The instant that she turned her head, the Captain sprung out of his chair, and interposed his hand.
'There's nothing there, my beauty,' said the Captain. 'Don't look there.'
'Why not?' asked Florence.
The Captain murmured something about its being dull that way, and about the fire being cheerful. He drew the door ajar, which had been standing open until now, and resumed his seat. Florence followed him with her eyes, and looked intently in his face.
'The story was about a ship, my lady lass,' began the Captain, 'as sailed out of the Port of London, with a fair wind and in fair weather, bound for - don't be took aback, my lady lass, she was only out'ard bound, pretty, only out'ard bound!'
The expression on Florence's face alarmed the Captain, who was himself very hot and flurried, and showed scarcely less agitation than she did.
'Shall I go on, Beauty?' said the Captain.
'Yes, yes, pray!' cried Florence.
The Captain made a gulp as if to get down something that was sticking in his throat, and nervously proceeded:
'That there unfort'nate ship met with such foul weather, out at sea, as don't blow once in twenty year, my darling. There was hurricanes ashore as tore up forests and blowed down towns, and there was gales at sea in them latitudes, as not the stoutest wessel ever launched could live in. Day arter day that there unfort'nate ship behaved noble, I'm told, and did her duty brave, my pretty, but at one blow a'most her bulwarks was stove in, her masts and rudder carved away, her best man swept overboard, and she left to the mercy of the storm as had no mercy but blowed harder and harder yet, while the waves dashed over her, and beat her in, and every time they come a thundering at her, broke her like a shell. Every black spot in every mountain of water that rolled away was a bit o' the ship's life or a living man, and so she went to pieces, Beauty, and no grass will never grow upon the graves of them as manned that ship.'
'They were not all lost!' cried Florence. 'Some were saved! - Was one?'
'Aboard o' that there unfort'nate wessel,' said the Captain, rising from his chair, and clenching his hand with prodigious energy and exultation, 'was a lad, a gallant lad - as I've heerd tell - that had loved, when he was a boy, to read and talk about brave actions in shipwrecks - I've heerd him! I've heerd him! - and he remembered of 'em in his hour of need; for when the stoutest and oldest hands was hove down, he was firm and cheery. It warn't the want of objects to like and love ashore that gave him courage, it was his nat'ral mind. I've seen it in his face, when he was no more than a child - ay, many a time! - and when I thought it nothing but his good looks, bless him!'
'And was he saved!' cried Florence. 'Was he saved!'
'That brave lad,' said the Captain, - 'look at me, pretty! Don't look round - '
Florence had hardly power to repeat, 'Why not?'
'Because there's nothing there, my deary,' said the Captain. 'Don't be took aback, pretty creetur! Don't, for the sake of Wal'r, as was dear to all on us! That there lad,' said the Captain, 'arter working with the best, and standing by the faint-hearted, and never making no complaint nor sign of fear, and keeping up a spirit in all hands that made 'em honour him as if he'd been a admiral - that lad, along with the second-mate and one seaman, was left, of all the beatin' hearts that went aboard that ship, the only living creeturs - lashed to a fragment of the wreck, and driftin' on the stormy sea.
Were they saved?' cried Florence.
'Days and nights they drifted on them endless waters,' said the Captain, 'until at last - No! Don't look that way, pretty! - a sail bore down upon 'em, and they was, by the Lord's mercy, took aboard: two living and one dead.'
'Which of them was dead?' cried Florence.
'Not the lad I speak on,' said the Captain.
'Thank God! oh thank God!'
'Amen!' returned the Captain hurriedly. 'Don't be took aback! A minute more, my lady lass! with a good heart! - aboard that ship, they went a long voyage, right away across the chart (for there warn't no touching nowhere), and on that voyage the seaman as was picked up with him died. But he was spared, and - '
The Captain, without knowing what he did, had cut a slice of bread from the loaf, and put it on his hook (which was his usual toasting-fork), on which he now held it to the fire; looking behind Florence with great emotion in his face, and suffering the bread to blaze and burn like fuel.
'Was spared,' repeated Florence, 'and-?'
'And come home in that ship,' said the Captain, still looking in the same direction, 'and - don't be frightened, pretty - and landed; and one morning come cautiously to his own door to take a obserwation, knowing that his friends would think him drownded, when he sheered off at the unexpected - '
'At the unexpected barking of a dog?' cried Florence, quickly.
'Yes,' roared the Captain. 'Steady, darling! courage! Don't look round yet. See there! upon the wall!'
There was the shadow of a man upon the wall close to her. She started up, looked round, and with a piercing cry, saw Walter Gay behind her!
She had no thought of him but as a brother, a brother rescued from the grave; a shipwrecked brother saved and at her side; and rushed into his arms. In all the world, he seemed to be her hope, her comfort, refuge, natural protector. 'Take care of Walter, I was fond of Walter!' The dear remembrance of the plaintive voice that said so, rushed upon her soul, like music in the night. 'Oh welcome home, dear Walter! Welcome to this stricken breast!' She felt the words, although she could not utter them, and held him in her pure embrace.
Captain Cuttle, in a fit of delirium, attempted to wipe his head with the blackened toast upon his hook: and finding it an uncongenial substance for the purpose, put it into the crown of his glazed hat, put the glazed hat on with some difficulty, essayed to sing a verse of Lovely Peg, broke down at the first word, and retired into the shop, whence he presently came back express, with a face all flushed and besmeared, and the starch completely taken out of his shirt-collar, to say these words:
'Wal'r, my lad, here is a little bit of property as I should wish to make over, jintly!'
The Captain hastily produced the big watch, the teaspoons, the sugar-tongs, and the canister, and laying them on the table, swept them with his great hand into Walter's hat; but in handing that singular strong box to Walter, he was so overcome again, that he was fain to make another retreat into the shop, and absent himself for a longer space of time than on his first retirement.
But Walter sought him out, and brought him back; and then the Captain's great apprehension was, that Florence would suffer from this new shock. He felt it so earnestly, that he turned quite rational, and positively interdicted any further allusion to Walter's adventures for some days to come. Captain Cuttle then became sufficiently composed to relieve himself of the toast in his hat, and to take his place at the tea-board; but finding Walter's grasp upon his shoulder, on one side, and Florence whispering her tearful congratulations on the other, the Captain suddenly bolted again, and was missing for a good ten minutes.
But never in all his life had the Captain's face so shone and glistened, as when, at last, he sat stationary at the tea-board, looking from Florence to Walter, and from Walter to Florence. Nor was this effect produced or at all heightened by the immense quantity of polishing he had administered to his face with his coat-sleeve during the last half-hour. It was solely the effect of his internal emotions. There was a glory and delight within the Captain that spread itself over his whole visage, and made a perfect illumination there.
The pride with which the Captain looked upon the bronzed cheek and the courageous eyes of his recovered boy; with which he saw the generous fervour of his youth, and all its frank and hopeful qualities, shining once more, in the fresh, wholesome manner, and the ardent face, would have kindled something of this light in his countenance. The admiration and sympathy with which he turned his eyes on Florence, whose beauty, grace, and innocence could have won no truer or more zealous champion than himself, would have had an equal influence upon him. But the fulness of the glow he shed around him could only have been engendered in his contemplation of the two together, and in all the fancies springing out of that association, that came sparkling and beaming into his head, and danced about it.
How they talked of poor old Uncle Sol, and dwelt on every little circumstance relating to his disappearance; how their joy was moderated by the old man's absence and by the misfortunes of Florence; how they released Diogenes, whom the Captain had decoyed upstairs some time before, lest he should bark again; the Captain, though he was in one continual flutter, and made many more short plunges into the shop, fully comprehended. But he no more dreamed that Walter looked on Florence, as it were, from a new and far-off place; that while his eyes often sought the lovely face, they seldom met its open glance of sisterly affection, but withdrew themselves when hers were raised towards him; than he believed that it was Walter's ghost who sat beside him. He saw them together in their youth and beauty, and he knew the story of their younger days, and he had no inch of room beneath his great blue waistcoat for anything save admiration of such a pair, and gratitude for their being reunited.
They sat thus, until it grew late. The Captain would have been content to sit so for a week. But Walter rose, to take leave for the night.
'Going, Walter!' said Florence. 'Where?'
'He slings his hammock for the present, lady lass,' said Captain Cuttle, 'round at Brogley's. Within hail, Heart's Delight.'
'I am the cause of your going away, Walter,' said Florence. 'There is a houseless sister in your place.'
'Dear Miss Dombey,' replied Walter, hesitating - 'if it is not too bold to call you so!
Walter!' she exclaimed, surprised.
'If anything could make me happier in being allowed to see and speak to you, would it not be the discovery that I had any means on earth of doing you a moment's service! Where would I not go, what would I not do, for your sake?'
She smiled, and called him brother.
'You are so changed,' said Walter -
'I changed!' she interrupted.
'To me,' said Walter, softly, as if he were thinking aloud, 'changed to me. I left you such a child, and find you - oh! something so different - '
'But your sister, Walter. You have not forgotten what we promised to each other, when we parted?'
'Forgotten!' But he said no more.
'And if you had - if suffering and danger had driven it from your thoughts - which it has not - you would remember it now, Walter, when you find me poor and abandoned, with no home but this, and no friends but the two who hear me speak!'
'I would! Heaven knows I would!' said Walter.
'Oh, Walter,' exclaimed Florence, through her sobs and tears. 'Dear brother! Show me some way through the world - some humble path that I may take alone, and labour in, and sometimes think of you as one who will protect and care for me as for a sister! Oh, help me, Walter, for I need help so much!'
'Miss Dombey! Florence! I would die to help you. But your friends are proud and rich. Your father - '
'No, no! Walter!' She shrieked, and put her hands up to her head, in an attitude of terror that transfixed him where he stood. 'Don't say that word!'
He never, from that hour, forgot the voice and look with which she stopped him at the name. He felt that if he were to live a hundred years, he never could forget it.
Somewhere - anywhere - but never home! All past, all gone, all lost, and broken up! The whole history of her untold slight and suffering was in the cry and look; and he felt he never could forget it, and he never did.
She laid her gentle face upon the Captain's shoulder, and related how and why she had fled. If every sorrowing tear she shed in doing so, had been a curse upon the head of him she never named or blamed, it would have been better for him, Walter thought, with awe, than to be renounced out of such a strength and might of love.
'There, precious!' said the Captain, when she ceased; and deep attention the Captain had paid to her while she spoke; listening, with his glazed hat all awry and his mouth wide open. 'Awast, awast, my eyes! Wal'r, dear lad, sheer off for to-night, and leave the pretty one to me!'
Walter took her hand in both of his, and put it to his lips, and kissed it. He knew now that she was, indeed, a homeless wandering fugitive; but, richer to him so, than in all the wealth and pride of her right station, she seemed farther off than even on the height that had made him giddy in his boyish dreams.
Captain Cuttle, perplexed by no such meditations, guarded Florence to her room, and watched at intervals upon the charmed ground outside her door - for such it truly was to him - until he felt sufficiently easy in his mind about her, to turn in under the counter. On abandoning his watch for that purpose, he could not help calling once, rapturously, through the keyhole, 'Drownded. Ain't he, pretty?' - or, when he got downstairs, making another trial at that verse of Lovely Peg. But it stuck in his throat somehow, and he could make nothing of it; so he went to bed, and dreamed that old Sol Gills was married to Mrs MacStinger, and kept prisoner by that lady in a secret chamber on a short allowance of victuals.
弗洛伦斯长久没有醒来。白天到了它精力最充沛的时候,白天又到了它衰微不振的时候,但是身心交瘁的她却仍继续睡着,对她的陌生的床毫无知觉,对街上的喧嚣与热闹毫无知觉,对照射到被窗帘遮蔽着的窗子外面的光线也毫无知觉。不过即使是由于极度的疲劳而带来的深沉的睡眠,也不能使她完全忘却那个已不再存在的家中所发生的事情。她在不舒服地打盹,而并不是在真正地睡眠;这时候,某些模糊的、忧伤的回忆打扰了她的休息。一种郁郁不乐的悲哀像部分减轻的痛的感觉一样,一刻也没有离开她。她的苍白的脸颊时常被眼泪流湿;诚实的船长不时地把头悄悄地探进半掩的门中,真不希望看到它被流湿得这么多次。
太阳正在西边沉落下去;当它从红色的雾霭中向外探望时,它的光线穿透了对面城市教堂尖塔上的窥孔和浮雕装饰,仿佛用金色的箭射穿了它们一样;在远处,它横越过河流和平坦的河岸,像一条火的小径一样发着微光;在海洋上,它照耀着船帆;如果从坐落在城外山岗顶上的平静的教堂墓地望它的话,那么它正用耀眼的光辉笼罩着远方的景色,似乎在一片弥漫的壮丽的红光中把地和天连接起来;就在这个时候,弗洛伦斯睁开沉甸甸的眼皮,起初躺在那里漠不关心地、毫无觉察地看着四周不熟悉的墙壁,并用同样冷淡的态度听着街上的喧闹的。但是不一会儿,她从躺椅中跳了起来,用惊奇的、发呆的眼光注视着周围,并回忆起了所有的事情。
“我的宝贝,”船长敲着门,说道,“现在怎么样?”
“亲爱的朋友,”弗洛伦斯急忙向他跑过去,喊道,“是您吗?”
船长听到这称呼感到十分自豪;他看到她望着他时脸上露出的愉快的笑容,感到十分高兴,因此吻了吻他的钩子,作为回答,并默默地表示他心中的喜悦。
“现在怎么样,光辉的钻石?”船长问道。
“我一定睡得很长久了,”弗洛伦斯回答道。“我什么时候到这里来的?是昨天吗?”
“今天,就在今天这个可喜的日子,我的小姑娘夫人,”船长回答道。
“还没有到夜里吗?仍旧是白天吗?”弗洛伦斯问道。
“快到晚上了,我的宝贝,”船长拉开窗帘,说道,“瞧!”
弗洛伦斯手搁在船长的胳膊上,十分悲伤、胆怯;脸孔粗糙、身材魁伟的船长十分平静地保护着她,因此她站在灿烂的傍晚天空的玫瑰色光线中,一句话也没有说。如果船长能用语言来表达他的感情的话,那么他也许会采用很奇怪的表达方式,可是他像最能言善辩的人一样清楚地懂得,在这宁静的时刻中和在它的柔和的美中有某种东西能对弗洛伦斯的受创伤的心产生良好的效果;如果让这些眼泪自由地流淌,那将会是更好的。因此,卡特尔船长一句话也没有说。但是当他觉得她更紧地握着他的胳膊,当他觉得这孤苦伶仃的女孩子的头更靠近他,并紧贴在他的朴素的、粗劣的蓝衣袖上的时候,他就用粗糙的手温柔地按着它,并理解它;他也被弗洛伦斯所理解。
“现在好些了,我的宝贝!”船长说道。“高高兴兴地,高高兴兴地!我要到楼下去准备做点晚饭,宝贝;您等一会儿自己下楼呢,还是由爱德华•卡特尔来送您下去?”
弗洛伦斯请他相信,她能够自己走下楼去,因此船长虽然明显地怀疑,他殷勤招待客人的规矩是否允许这样做,但还是听凭她这样去做了;然后他立即在小客厅的炉火上烤了一只鸡。为了用更精巧的技术来进行烹调,他脱去上衣,卷起袖口,戴上上了光的帽子——没有帽子这个助手,他从来不从事任何不容马虎或困难费事的工作的。
弗洛伦斯用清水(这是船长在她睡觉时,出于关心,为她准备的)使她发痛的头和发烫的脸凉爽凉爽,然后她走到小镜子前,把她蓬乱的头发包扎好。这时候她看到,在她的胸前有一个发黑的斑痕,那是那只愤怒的手留下来的。她只是看了一刹那的工夫,因为她立刻把眼睛闪开了。
一看到这个伤痕,她的眼泪就重新流出来了;她觉得它是一种耻辱,并害怕见到它;但是它并没有驱使她对他生气。她没有家,没有父亲,但却仍然原谅了他的一切,几乎没有想到,她必须原谅他或者她已经原谅了他,而是她避开不去想他,就像她已经从现实世界中逃走一样;他已完全离开了,不存在了。在世界上已没有这样的人了。
今后做什么,今后到哪里去生活,弗洛伦斯——这个可怜的、没有经验的女孩子!——现在还不能考虑这些。她曾经模糊地梦想到遥远的什么地方去找到几个小妹妹,她去教她们;她们将亲切地对待她;她将采用一个化名,并热诚地爱她们;她们将在幸福的家庭中长大,结婚,善良地对待她们的老家庭女教师,也许到时候还会委托她去教育她们的女儿们。她曾想过,她这样变成一位头发斑白的女人,把她的秘密一直带进坟墓,而弗洛伦斯•董贝这个名字则被人们遗忘,这将是多么奇怪与悲伤的事啊!可是这一切现在对她来说都是十分模糊不清。她只知道,她在这尘世中没有父亲;当只剩下她单独一个人的时候,她向天国中的父亲祈祷,并这样说了许多次。
她积蓄起来的钱总共不过几基尼。从这当中需要拿出一部分去买些衣服,因为她除了身上穿着的以外,没有别的衣服了。她太悲伤了,顾不得去想她的钱会多么快地被用掉——因为她还是个对世俗事务很没有经验的孩子,即使她没有别的忧愁,她现在也还不会在这方面过份忧愁的。她努力使自己的思想平静下来,使自己的眼泪止住不流,使自己的情绪安定下来,并使自己相信,事情仅仅是在几小时以前,而不是像她觉得的那样,是在几星期或几个月以前发生的;然后她走下楼,到她仁厚的保护人那里去。
船长已经很细心地铺好了桌布,这时正在一只有柄的平底锅里做鸡蛋调味汁,在这同时,他怀着浓厚的兴趣,不时给鸡浇上油,鸡在绳子上转动着,被火烤成棕色。船长把弗洛伦斯用坐垫在沙发上支撑着(沙发已推到一个温暖的角落里,使她更为舒适),然后继续以非凡的技巧进行烹调:他在第二只平底锅中做热肉汁,在第三只平底锅中煮几个土豆,但决没有忘记第一只平底锅里的鸡蛋调味汁,在这同时又时刻不停地用匙子给鸡的各个部分均匀地浇上油,并把鸡在火上翻过来翻过去。除了照料这些事情外,船长还得注意看着一只小煎锅,锅里的一些香肠在冒着热气,并吱啦吱啦地发出十分悦耳的,世界上从来没有一位厨师在紧张操作时像船长这样容光焕发的,因此实在难以判断,究竟是他的脸还是他那顶上了光的帽子更亮一些。
晚饭终于做好了,卡特尔船长把它们盛在盘子里,端到桌子上,他那灵巧的动作丝毫也不比烹调时逊色。这时候,他摘掉那顶上了光的帽子,穿上外衣,作为他吃晚餐的礼服。然后他把有轮子的桌子推到坐在沙发上的弗洛伦斯跟前,做了饭前的祷告,又把那只当手的钩子的螺钉拧松,取下钩子,换上一把餐叉,接着又把螺钉拧紧,然后他充当起餐桌的主人来。
“我的小姑娘夫人,”船长说道,“高兴起来,设法多吃一些。做好准备,我的宝贝!这是小翅膀。这是调味汁。这是香肠。还有土豆!”船长把所有这些匀称地排列在一只盘子里,用那只有用的匙子在上面浇上热肉计,然后把盘子端到他所喜爱的客人面前。
“所有的舷窗盖都关上了,小姑娘夫人,”船长用鼓舞的口吻说道,“一切事情都安排妥当了。吃一点吧,我的宝贝。
如果沃尔在这里的话——”
“啊,如果我现在有他当我哥哥的话!”弗洛伦斯喊道。
“别!别伤心了,我的宝贝!”船长说道,“停一下,我请求您!他过去是您天生的、经受过考验的朋友,是不是,宝宝?”
弗洛伦斯没有什么话好回答。她只是说,“啊,亲爱的,亲爱的保罗呀!啊,沃尔特呀!”
“连她走过的甲板沃尔都是十分尊重的,”船长看着她那沮丧的脸孔,喃喃自语道,“就像从没有痛快喝够的公鹿尊敬溪水一样!他被列入董贝公司名册的那一天吃晚饭的时候,他谈到了她,脸上闪闪发光,就像一朵刚开放的玫瑰花一样;如果不是露珠在发光的话,那么至少是由于他怀着纯洁的感情,所以脸上才发光的。我现在就像那天看到他的情景一样看到了他。哎呀,哎呀!如果我们可怜的沃尔现在在这里的话,我的小姑娘夫人——或者说如果他能在这里的话——那该多好啊,因为他已经淹死了,是不是?”
弗洛伦斯点点头。
“是的,是的,淹死了,”船长安慰地说道,“我刚才说过,如果他能在这里的话,我的宝贝,那么他就一定会为了您的健康,请您,求您吃一点儿。所以说,您得支撑住自己,我的小姑娘夫人,就仿佛是看在沃尔的分上一样,并且迎着风,抬起您那漂亮的头。”
弗洛伦斯为了使船长高兴,试着吃了一口。这时候,船长似乎完全忘记他自己的晚饭,放下餐刀和叉子,把他的椅子拉到沙发旁边。
“沃尔是个漂亮的孩子,是不是,宝贝?”船长默默无言地坐了一会儿,擦着下巴,眼睛凝视着她,说道,“而且他又是一个勇敢的孩子,一个善良的孩子,是不是?”
弗洛伦斯眼泪汪汪地表示同意。
“他淹死了,是不是,美人儿?”船长用安慰的声调说道。
弗洛伦斯又只好表示同意。
“他比您大一些,我的小姑娘夫人,”船长继续说道,“但是当初你们两人就像两个孩子一样,是不是?”
弗洛伦斯回答道,“是的。”
“但是沃尔特淹死了,”船长说道。“是不是?”
如果多次地重复这个问题能成为安慰的源泉的话,那么这可是一件稀奇的事情,但对卡特尔船长来说似乎倒真是这样的,因为他一次又一次地回到这个问题上。弗洛伦斯无可奈何地放弃了她这顿没有尝过的晚饭,向后仰靠在沙发上,把手伸给他,觉得她使他失望了,虽然她本来倒是真心诚意地想在他忙碌操劳之后让他高兴高兴的;但是他把她的手握在手中(这时他的手颤抖了),似乎完全忘记了晚饭和她缺乏食欲的情况,不时用沉思的、同情的声调低声说道,“可怜的沃尔!是的,是的!淹死了。是不是?”每一次总等待着她的回答,好像他提这个奇怪的问题只是为了得到回答似的。
当船长记起餐桌上还摆着菜,重新去吃时,鸡和香肠已经冷了,肉汁和鸡蛋调味汁已经沉淀了;他请戴奥吉尼斯来帮助,在他们的共同努力下,这顿晚宴很快就被吃完了。弗洛伦斯开始不声不响地帮助收拾桌子,整理客厅,扫除炉灰(她开始帮助时,船长热情地劝阻,只有这种热情才能和她干活时的热情比个不相上下);船长看到这种情形又喜又惊,最后只好自己完全不做,站在一旁看着她,仿佛她是个什么小仙人,在优美地为他服务似的;他由于难以形容的赞赏,额上的红圈又发出亮光了。
但是当弗洛伦斯把他的烟斗从壁炉架上取下,递到他手里,请他抽烟的时候,善良的船长竟被她的关怀激动得把烟斗一直拿在手里,仿佛他这一辈子从来没有拿过烟斗似的。同样,当弗洛伦斯往小碗柜里看看,取出方瓶,不等他请求,就给他调了一杯很好的搀水烈酒,放到他的身旁的时候,他感到自己受到极大的厚待与尊敬,红润的鼻子竟发白了。当他怡然自得地在烟斗中装上烟草时,弗洛伦斯给他点着了火——船长不能反对或阻止她——,然后又回到沙发上的老位子上去,微笑着看着他;她那微笑非常可爱,充满了感激之情,并向他十分清楚地表明:她那孤独无助的、悲痛的心,就像她的脸一样,完全向着他;船长看到这些情景,感动得烟斗中喷出的烟都呛入了喉咙,使他咳嗽,而且还熏进他的眼睛,使它们眨巴和流泪。
船长想使她相信,造成这些后果的原因隐藏在烟斗本身;他往烟斗里看看,想要找出它;在那里没有找到它的时候,就假装要把它从烟管里吹出来;他的这些神态是极有意思的。烟斗不久就不出毛病了,于是他像一位善于抽烟的人那样,悠闲自得地坐在那里,眼睛凝视着弗洛伦斯,并用一种难以形容的、喜气洋溢而又平平静静的神色,时常停住不抽,而从嘴中喷出一小团烟云,这烟云像一个纸卷似地从他嘴中慢慢舒展开来,上面写着:“可怜的沃尔,是的,是的,他淹死了,是不是?”在这之后,他就以无比文雅的态度继续抽着烟。
虽然他们在外表上十分不相像——弗洛伦斯是一位美丽的妙龄女郎,卡特尔船长则脸上长满了疙瘩,粗糙,身躯魁伟、饱经风霜——,但是就不通人情世故,对世间生活的艰难与危险方面天真无知这一点来说,他们几乎是处于同一水平。除了风与气候之外,对于其他事情,没有一个孩子能比卡特尔船长更缺乏经验的;没有一个孩子在纯朴天真、容易上当、慷慨大方和深信不疑方面能超过他的了。信仰,希望与仁爱构成了他的全部性格。在这之外,还可以加上奇怪的浪漫主义;这种浪漫主义完全是非想象的,然而又完全是非现实的;它不大去考虑世俗的精明打算,也不大考虑是否切实可行。当船长坐在那里,抽着烟,看着弗洛伦斯的时候,天知道在他心头出现了一幅什么样难以相信的、以她为主要人物的图画。她自己对未来生活的想法虽然不是那么乐观,但却同样的模糊与不明确;甚至就像她的眼泪把她所注视的光线折射成各种颜色一样,她通过她的新的、沉重的悲痛,已看到一条彩虹在远方的天空中微弱地照耀着;故事书中一位流浪的公主和一位善良的妖怪可以坐在炉边谈着话,就像卡特尔船长和可怜的弗洛伦斯在想着那样——他们在外表上与他们两人也并不是很不相像的。
船长丝毫没有担心弗洛伦斯留在身边会有什么困难或他将因此而承担什么责任。关上护窗板,锁上门以后,他在这方面就完全无忧无虑。如果她是大法官法庭监护的少女的话,那么对卡特尔船长来说,这也完全没有差别。他是世界上最不为这些考虑担心的人。
因此,船长很愉快地抽着烟,弗洛伦斯和他按照各自的方式沉思着。当烟斗里的烟熄灭以后,他们喝了一些茶;然后弗洛伦斯请求他把她领到邻近的店铺里去买一些她迫切需要的物品。因为天色已经很黑,所以船长就答应了;但是他首先还是小心翼翼地向外面街道上窥探了一下,就像他在躲避麦克斯廷杰太太的时候惯常做的那样,并用大手杖武装了自己,以便在遇到意外情况下必要时可以诉诸武力。
卡特尔船长把手递给弗洛伦斯,护送她走了大约二、三百码,一直机警地注视着四周;他那高度的警惕性与无数提防的措施吸引着每位从他们身旁走过的人的注意;在进行所有这些行动时,他都感到极大的自豪。到达店铺的时候,船长出于审慎的考虑,觉得有必要在她购买物品时离开,因为在这些物品中包括弗洛伦斯穿着的服装;但是他事先把他锡制的茶叶罐放在柜台上,告诉店里年轻的女营业员,罐里有十四镑两先令,如果这些钱还不够支付他的外甥女购置服装的费用的话——当说到外甥女这个词儿的时候,他意味深长地向弗洛伦斯看了一眼,同时默默地做了个机智与神秘的手势——,那就劳驾她向他大声喊叫一声,他将从口袋中拿出钱来补足差额。船长好像是无意地看了看他的大表,其实他真正的目的是想在营业员面前炫耀一下他的财富,使她留下深刻的印象;然后他吻了吻他的钩子,向他的外甥女致意;并走到橱窗外面;他那很大的脸孔不时探进店里,出现在丝绸与缎带中间,显然是因为担心弗洛伦斯会被人从后门拐走,他这种进进出出的美妙图景确实是很值得一看的。
“亲爱的卡特尔船长,”弗洛伦斯拿着一个小包包从店里走出来的时候说道。这包包的体积使船长大为失望,因为他原希望看到一个搬运工人扛着一捆货物跟随在她后面的。“我确实不需要这钱。我一个钱也没有花。我自己有钱。”
“我的小姑娘夫人,”失望的船长笔直望着前面的街道,回答道,“我是不是可以烦请您给我小心保管着,直到我问您要它的时候?”
“我可以把它放回到原先的地方,并把它保存在那里吗?”
弗洛伦斯问道。
这个建议一点也不使船长高兴,但是他还是回答道,“行,行,把它放到哪里都行,我的小姑娘夫人,只要您知道到哪里找到它就好了。它对我完全没有用,”船长说道。“真奇怪,我以前怎么没有把它花掉呢。”
船长一时很不开心,但一接触到弗洛伦斯的胳膊,他的精神又复苏了。他们像出来的时候一样谨慎小心地回到家里;船长打开小海军军官候补生的住所的门,迅速地钻了进去,只有长期的实践才能使他那么敏捷。弗洛伦斯上午睡觉的时候,他已雇了一位姑娘来给弗洛伦斯收拾房间,并帮助她做一些她所需要做的零星杂事;这位姑娘是平时在伦敦肉类市场坐在一把蓝伞下面卖家禽的一位老太太的女儿,现在她已来了。弗洛伦斯看到她周围的一切就像在她曾一度称为家的可怕的梦中一样舒适、整齐,如果说不是那么漂亮的话。
当又只剩下他们两人的时候,船长坚决请她吃一片干烤面包片,喝一杯加了香料的尼格斯酒(他做得好极了),并用各种亲切的话语和他能想得出来的一些前后互不连贯的引语来鼓励她,然后把她领到楼上的卧室中去。但是他也还是有些什么事情在心头,神态不大自在。
“晚安,亲爱的心肝,”卡特尔船长在她的卧室门口说道。
弗洛伦斯把嘴唇凑近他的脸,吻了他。
在任何别的时候,她这种亲热与感激的表示都是会使船长激动得站不正身子、歪倒下来的,但是现在他虽然完全感觉到这一点,但却比先前更加不安地注视着她的脸孔,似乎不愿意离开她一样。
“可怜的沃尔!”船长说道。
“可怜的、可怜的沃尔特!”弗洛伦斯叹息道。
“淹死了,是不是?”船长说道。
弗洛伦斯点点头,叹了一口气。
“晚安,我的小姑娘夫人!”卡特尔船长伸出手来说道。
“上帝保佑您,亲爱的、仁慈的朋友!”
但是船长仍旧拖延着不走。
“有什么事吗,亲爱的卡特尔船长?”弗洛伦斯问道,她当时的心情是容易感到惊慌的。“您有什么事情要告诉我吗?”
“有什么事情要告诉您吗,小姑娘夫人,”船长回答道,他慌乱地碰到了她的眼光。“没有,没有;我有什么事情应当告诉您的呢,宝贝!当然,您没有指望我会告诉您什么好事情吧?”
“没有,”弗洛伦斯摇摇头,说道。
船长沉思地望着她,重复道,“没有,”仍旧在门口拖延着不走,而且仍旧表现出为难的样子。
“可怜的沃尔!”船长说道。“我的沃尔,我过去经常这样喊你的!老所尔•吉尔斯的外甥!你就像五月的鲜花一样,所有认识你的人都喜欢你!你现在在哪里呀,勇敢的孩子!淹死了,是不是?”船长在末尾向弗洛伦斯突然问了一句之后,向她祝了晚安,就下楼去了;弗洛伦斯站在楼梯口,拿着蜡烛照他。
他在黑暗中消失了;从他离开的脚步声来判断,他正走到小客厅里去,这时他的头和肩膀又出乎意料之外地好像从深渊中浮现了出来,显然,他唯一的目的是再重复问一句:“他淹死了,是不是,宝贝?”因为他用温柔的、怜悯的语调说完这些话之后,就不见了。弗洛伦斯很遗憾,她在这里避难,无意中在她的保护人的心中唤醒了这些联带的回忆(尽管这是十分自然的),她坐在船长在上面摆着望远镜、歌曲集和其他珍藏物品的小桌子前面,回想着沃尔特和过去跟他有关的一切,直到她非常想躺到床上,沉沉地睡去为止。可是当她孤独地怀念着她曾爱过的那些死者时,在她的脑子中一次也没有闪现过家的念头,一次也没有想过可能回去,一次也没有想过它还依旧存在,或她的父亲还继续住在它的屋顶下面。她看到他那次殴打她的情景。她过去不论发生各种事情仍然珍惜着的父亲的那最后未灭的形象,已从她心中被夺走了,损伤了,毁灭了。一想到它,对她来说是那么可怕,因此她捂上眼睛,哆嗦地避开对那个行动和干出那个行动的那只残酷的手的一星半点的回忆。如果在这之后,她那可爱的心还能保存他的形象的话,那么它一定破碎了;但是它不能;这这空虚就由一种疯狂似的恐惧所填补,这种恐惧是迫不得已从与这一形象有关的一切碎片中逃出来的,这种恐惧是只能从受到如此委屈的爱的深处才能产生出来的。

  她不敢往镜子里看;因为一看到她胸前留下的发黑的斑痕就会使她害怕自己;仿佛在她身上有一种什么邪恶的东西似的。她在黑暗中急忙用颤抖的手把它捂上,把疲乏的头躺倒在枕头上哭着。

  船长长久没有去睡。他在店铺里和在小客厅里走来走去,走了整整一个钟头。当他好像由于这种踱步镇静下来的时候,他脸色庄严、沉思地坐下来,从祈祷书中念那些在海上适用的祈祷文。这不是能轻易念完的;善良的船长是一位念书念得非常慢而又不肯马马虎虎的人,时常在遇到一个难词的时候停下来,说一些鼓励自己的话,如“喂,我的孩子!拿出坚强的意志来!”或“沉着气,爱德华·卡特尔,沉着气!”这对帮助他克服所有困难起了很大的作用。另外,眼镜大大地妨碍了他的视力。可是尽管有这样一些不利的条件,船长还是十分认真地把祈祷文全部念完,直到最后一行,而且是怀着真诚的感情念的。念完之后,他十分赞同这些祈祷文,然后怀着平静的心情,露出十分仁厚的面容,在柜台下躺下睡觉(但他在睡觉前曾到楼上去,在弗洛伦斯房门口静听了一会儿)。

  船长在夜间到楼上去过几次,了解他所保护的人是不是睡得安宁;有一次,在拂晓的时候,他发现她醒了,因为她听到门口的脚步声时,曾问是不是他。

  “是的,我的小姑娘夫人,”船长用低沉与粗糙的回答道。

  “你一切都好吗,我的钻石?”

  弗洛伦斯谢谢他,说,“是的。”

  船长不能失去这样有利的机会,因此就把嘴唇对着钥匙孔,像低沉的风声一样,向里面说道,“可怜的沃尔!淹死了,是不是?”在这之后,他离开了,又在床上躺下,一直睡到早上七点钟。

  整个这一天他还是不能摆脱他那不安与为难的神态。虽然弗洛伦斯在小客厅里忙着做针线活,已比前一天平静与安定了。几乎每次当她从针线活中抬起眼睛的时候,她都注意到船长在看她,并沉思地抚摩着下巴。他不时地把扶椅拉近她的身边,仿佛要跟她谈什么很机密的事情似的,但不时地又把它拉开,好像下不定决心怎样开始谈似的;整个一天,他就乘着这条不坚固的小船在小客厅里转圈,不止一次碰到护壁板或内室的门,在很苦恼的情况下搁浅了。

  一直到薄暮的时候,卡特尔船长才终于在弗洛伦斯身边完全抛了锚,开始有些条理地谈起来。这时候,壁炉里的火光照射到这小房间的墙壁和天花板上,照射到陈列在桌子上的茶盘和带托的茶杯上,同时照射到她的朝向火焰的平静的脸上,在她眼中充满的泪水中反射出来;船长这样打破了长时间的沉默:

  “您从来没有到海上去过吧,我的乖乖?”

  “没有,”弗洛伦斯回答道。

  “唔,”船长怀着崇敬的心情说道,“海是非常有威力的自然现象。在海的深底有许多奇异的东西,我的宝贝。想一想风在怒号、波涛在汹涌时的海吧。想一想暴风雨之夜一片漆黑时的海吧,”船长庄严地举起钩子,说道,“那时候除非是白亮亮的闪电把它照出来,否则您就伸手不见五指,那时候您坐在船上,穿过暴风雨和黑暗,向前漂着,漂着,漂着,仿佛您面对着前方,永远永远地向着没有尽头的世界漂去,阿门!当您找到这句话的时候,请把它记下来。有时候,我的美人儿,一个人会对他同桌吃饭的伙伴说(请先翻一下书),‘狂暴的西北风刮起来了,比尔,听呀,它在怒号!我多么可怜那些被刮到岸上去的不幸的人们啊,愿上帝帮助他们吧!’”这一段形容海洋恐怖现象的引语,船长是用最使人感动的语调说出来的,最后他响亮地说了一声“做好准备!”

  “您遇到过可怕的暴风雨吗?”弗洛伦斯问道。

  “当然,我的小姑娘夫人,我遇到过不少险恶的气候,”船长哆嗦地擦着头,说道,“我经受过狂风骇浪的冲打。不过——不过我不想谈我自己,而是想谈谈我们亲爱的孩子,”他向她移近一些,“沃尔,亲爱的,他淹死了。”

  船长说话的那么颤抖,他看着弗洛伦斯的时候脸色那么苍白,激动,因此她惊恐地紧抓住他的手。

  “您的脸色变了!”弗洛伦斯喊道。“您一下子变成了另外一个人。这是怎么回事?亲爱的卡特尔船长,我看着您的时候,身上冷起来了!”

  “什么!小姑娘夫人,”船长用手支撑着她,回答道,“别吃惊!别!别!一切都好,一切都好,我亲爱的。我刚才说——沃尔——他——他淹死了。是不是?”

  弗洛伦斯目不转睛地看着他,脸色一会儿红,一会儿白;

  她把手紧按在胸脯上。

  “在海上有着各种灾难与危险,我的美人儿,”船长说道,“神秘的海浪淹没了许多英勇的船和许多无畏的心,但却什么话也不告诉我们;可是在海上也有死里逃生的人,有时二十个人当中有一个——啊,也可能一百个人当中有一个,宝贝——,由于上帝的慈悲而得救了,而且在大家都以为他已死了,船上所有的人员都已沉没了的时候回家了。我——我知道一个这种性质的故事,心的喜悦,”船长结结巴巴地说道,“这是有一次我听人说的。既然现在我掌握着正确的航向,您跟我两人又坐在炉边,也许您会喜欢听我讲讲这个故事吧,您想听吗,亲爱的?”

  弗洛伦斯怀着一种她不能抑制、也不能理解的激动,哆嗦着,不由自主地跟随着他的眼光,向着她背后的店铺里看去;店铺里正点着一盏灯,她头刚一转过去的时候,船长立刻从椅子中跳了起来,用手挡住她的眼睛。

  “那里什么也没有,我的美人儿,”船长说道,“别往那里看。”

  “为什么?”弗洛伦斯问道。

  船长低声说了几句话,说那里没有什么有趣的东西,又说这里炉火烧得正旺。他把一直开着的门稍稍掩上一些,又回到他的坐位中。弗洛伦斯的眼光跟随着他,并目不转睛地看着他的脸。

  “这是一条船的故事,我的小姑娘夫人,”船长开始说道,“它从伦敦港出发,顺风,好天气,开往——别吃惊,我的小姑娘夫人,它只是出航罢了,宝贝,只是出航罢了。”

  弗洛伦斯脸上的表情使船长惊慌,他本人满脸通红,神色慌乱,并不比她不激动。

  “我说下去好吗,美人儿?”船长问道。

  “好,好,请说下去!”弗洛伦斯喊道。

  船长咽了一口气,仿佛在把梗塞的喉咙中的什么东西吞下去似的,然后紧张不安地说下去:

  “这条不幸的船在海上遇到了二十年未曾遇到过的险恶气候,我的亲爱的。岸上吹刮着飓风,它把树木连根拔起,并把城市摧毁;在同一纬度的海上吹刮着暴风,最最坚固的船也难以招架得住。我听说,我的宝贝,这条不幸的船一天天顽强地搏斗着并英勇地履行着自己的职责;但是一阵吹来的暴风雨吹毁了它的舷墙,把它的桅杆和船舵冲走了,把它最优秀的船员打翻到水中;这条船就听凭暴风雨的摆布;暴风雨毫无慈悲,暴风吹刮得愈来愈狂烈,愈来愈狂烈,浪涛没过了船身,冲进了船体;它每次涌来的时候,都像雷鸣般地呼啸着,把船像贝壳一般地砸破。流走的每个浪峰中的第一个黑点或者是这条船的生命中的一个碎片,或者是一个活人,这条船就这样被打得粉碎,我的美人儿;青草永远也不会在乘坐这条船的人们的坟墓上生长了。”

  “可是他们并没有全都死去!”弗洛伦斯喊道,“有的人得救了!——是不是有一个人?”

  “在这条不幸的船的乘客当中,”船长从椅子中站起来,十分有劲地、兴高采烈地握紧拳头,说道,“有一个小伙子,一个勇敢的小伙子,——我听说——他还是一个小孩子的时候就喜欢阅读和谈论在船遇难时的英勇事迹——我听到他这样谈过!——在这严重的关头,他还记起了这些英勇事迹,因为当最勇敢的心与最老练的人们都已意气消沉的时候,他仍然坚定无畏,兴高采烈。这并不是由于在陆地上还有他所喜欢和热爱的人给了他勇气,而是他生来的性格。当他还是个小孩子的时候,我在他脸上就看到了这一点——我看到过好多次!那时候我还以为这只不过是他容貌漂亮呢,愿上帝保佑他!”

  “他得救了吗?”弗洛伦斯喊道,“他得救了吗?”“那个勇敢的小伙子,”船长说道,“看着我,宝贝!别回头看。——”

  弗洛伦斯几乎没有气力问,“为什么?”

  “因为那里什么也没有,我亲爱的,”船长说道,“别吃惊,亲爱的宝贝!看在对我们全都亲爱的沃尔的面上,别吃惊!那个小伙子,”船长说道,“跟勇敢的人们一起工作着,鼓舞着那些胆怯的人,从不抱怨,也从来没有露出害怕的神色,他让全体船员保持着勇气,这使他们尊敬他,仿佛他是一位舰队司令一样;——这个小伙子,和一位二副,一位船员,是所有乘坐这条船的人们当中仅仅活下来的人;他们用绳子把自己绑在这条被毁坏了的船的碎片上,在暴风雨的海面上漂流。”

  “他们得救了吗?”弗洛伦斯喊道。

  “他们日日夜夜在无边无际的海上漂流着,”船长说道,“直到最后——别,别往那边看,宝贝!”——最后一条帆船向他们靠近,托靠上帝的仁慈,他们被抢救到船上:两个活着,一个死了。”

  “哪一个死了?”弗洛伦斯喊道。

  “不是我们所说的那个小伙子,”船长说道。

  “谢谢上帝!啊谢谢上帝!”

  “阿门!”船长急忙回答道,“别吃惊!再等一分钟,我的小姑娘夫人!鼓起勇气!——他们在这条船上航行了好久(因为没有什么地方可以停泊),在这次航行中,那位跟他一起被打捞到船上的船员死了。可是他还活着,而且——”

  船长没有意识到自己在做什么事情,切了一片面包,放在他的钩子上(他平时用这钩子当作叉子来烤面包片),然后把它举到火上;脸色十分激动地望着弗洛伦斯,没有留意到面包片像柴炭般熊熊燃烧着。

  “他还活着,”弗洛伦斯重复说道,“而且——?”

  “而且乘着那条船回到了祖国,”船长依旧往那个方向看着,说道,“而且,——别惊慌,宝贝,——而且上了岸;有一天早上,他知道亲友们都以为他已死了,就小心谨慎地走到他自己家门口,想观察一下动静,可是他又离开了,因为他出乎意料之外地听到了——”

  “出乎意料之外地听到了狗叫?”弗洛伦斯迅速地喊道。

  “是的,”船长大声说道,“沉着气,亲爱的!鼓起勇气!

  别回头看,往那里看!往墙上!”

  在接近她的墙上有一个人影。她惊跳起来,回过头,尖叫了一声,看到沃尔特·盖伊就在她的背后!

  她只想到他是她的哥哥,一个从坟墓中救活的哥哥,一个船遇难以后得救并回到她身边的哥哥,于是她就扑到他的怀中去。在世界上,他似乎是她的希望,她的安慰,她的避难所与天生的保护人。“关怀沃尔特吧!我喜欢沃尔特!”她回忆起讲这些话时的亲切的、哭诉的,它就像夜间的音乐一样涌入了她的心灵。“啊,欢迎你回来,亲爱的沃尔特!这颗受了创伤的心欢迎你!”她想说这些话,但却说不出来,而是把他紧紧地拥抱在她的纯洁的怀中。

  卡特尔船长一时精神错乱,想用钩子上烤焦了的面包片去擦前额;当发现它不合用时,他就把它扔到他的上了光的帽子顶中,然后有些费劲地把上了光的帽子戴到头上,试图唱一唱《可爱的配格姑娘》中的一段歌词,但唱到第一个字的时候就唱不下去了;他走到店铺里,又立刻从那里走回来,脸孔又红又脏,浆硬的衬衫领子已湿得完全发软;他说道:

  “沃尔,我的孩子,这点财产是我想转交给你们共同使用的!”

  船长急忙拿出大表、茶匙、方糖箝子、茶叶罐,把它们放在桌子上,然后用大手把它们都扫进沃尔特的帽子中;可是当他把这奇特的扑满递给沃尔特的时候,他又激动得不得了,不得不又跑到店铺里去,离开的时间比第一次长久。

  可是沃尔特前去找他,把他领了回来;这时候船长很大的顾虑是,弗洛伦斯会受不了这次新的震惊;他当真是这样感觉的,因此他变得很有理性,决定在最近几天内绝对不再提到沃尔特的冒险活动。这时卡特尔船长完全冷静下来了,他把烤面包片从他的帽子中除去,并在茶桌旁坐下来,但是当看到沃尔特在一旁抱住他的肩膀,弗洛伦斯在另一旁含着泪水轻声地表示祝贺的时候,他又突然逃走了,足足十分钟没有回来。

  可是当船长最后又在茶桌旁坐下来,没有再走开,他的眼光从弗洛伦斯转到沃尔特、又从沃尔特转到弗洛伦斯的时候,他一生中从没有像这时这样容光焕发、神采奕奕的。这决不是他在刚才半小时内用外套袖子不断擦他的脸的结果,这完全是由于他心情激动所引起的。船长心中的得意与高兴传播到他的整个脸容,使它发出了十分明亮的光辉。

  船长怀着自豪的心情看着他的重新找到的孩子的晒成古铜色的脸颊和勇敢的眼睛,看着他的年轻人的充沛的强烈的感情,看着在他朝气蓬勃、神采奕奕的态度中与满怀热情的脸孔中再一次闪耀着的坦率的、充满希望的品格;这时他所怀着的这种自豪感是可能把他脸上的亮光点燃的。他又怀着赞赏与同情的心情把眼光转向弗洛伦斯,对她的美丽、文雅与天真是不能找到比他本人更为真诚、更为热忱的爱戴者的;他的这种心情可能对他也有着同样的影响。可是只有当他同时注视着他们两人,并由此在他头脑中产生出喜气洋溢、翩翩起舞的幻想时,他的脸孔才能向四周散发出最为灿烂的光辉。

  船长虽然不断处于坐立不安的状态,并好多次暂时逃到店铺里去,但他完全理解他们怎样谈论着可怜的老所尔舅舅,讨论着他失踪的详情细节;老人的不在和弗洛伦斯的不幸怎样减少了他们的欢乐;他们怎样把戴奥吉尼斯释放了(船长原先怕他会吠叫起来,曾把他诱骗到楼上去)。可是他没有料想到沃尔特现在好像是从一个新的、遥远的地方看着弗洛伦斯;他没有料想到沃尔特的眼睛虽然时常去寻找那可爱的脸孔,可是当她抬起眼睛望着他的时候,他却很少去迎接她那含着姐妹之情的坦率的眼光,而是把自己的眼睛避开。船长没有料想到有这种可能性,就好像他不相信坐在他身旁的不是沃尔特本人而是沃尔特的幽灵。他看到他们在一起,年轻、漂亮,他知道他们年轻时代的故事;除了对这样的一对人表示赞赏,对他们的团聚怀着感激之情外,在他宽大的蓝色背心下面,就丝毫没有感觉到其他什么了。

  他们这样坐着,坐到很晚的时候。船长真愿意这样坐下去,坐上一个星期。可是沃尔特却站起来告别。

  “你要走了,沃尔特!”弗洛伦斯说道。“上哪里去?”

  “他把他的吊床暂时吊挂在布罗格利家里,小姑娘夫人,”

  卡特尔船长说道,“就在近处,心的喜悦。”

  “我来了,你就不得不离开这里了,沃尔特,”弗洛伦斯说道。“无家可归的妹妹占去你的地方了。”

  “亲爱的董贝小姐,”沃尔特迟疑地回答道,“如果这样称呼您不太冒昧的话!——”

  “——沃尔特!”她惊奇地大声叫道。

  “现在,当您能允许我看到您,跟您谈话的时候,如果我知道我能有片刻的时间为您效劳的话,那我真会感到说不出的幸福。为了您,我有什么地方不愿意去,有什么事情不愿意去做的呢?”

  她微笑着,喊他哥哥。

  “您已经大大地变了,”沃尔特说道——

  “我变了?”她打断他说道。

  “对我来说,”沃尔特自言自语地轻声说道,“对我来说您已经变了。我离开您的时候,您还是个小孩子,而我现在看到您的时候——啊!某些方面完全不同了——”

  “可是我依旧是你的妹妹啊,沃尔特。你没有忘记我们在分离时相互许诺过的话吧?”

  “忘记!”可是他没有再说什么。

  “如果你已经忘记了——如果艰苦与危险已经把它从你的记忆中驱除了——幸而实际上并没有这样!——如果真发生那种情形的话,那么,现在,沃尔特,当你看到我贫穷可怜、被遗弃的时候,当你看到我除了这个家之外没有别的家,除了两个现在听我说话的人之外我没有别的朋友的时候,你就会记起它来了!”

  “我就会!天知道我就会!”沃尔特说道。

  “啊,沃尔特!”弗洛伦斯一边流着眼泪,抽抽嗒嗒地哭泣着,一边大声说道,“亲爱的哥哥!请在这世界上给我指明一条道路——指明一条简陋的小路,让我可以独自沿着它走去,可以在那里劳动,可以有时想到你,想到你这个会像对待妹妹一样地保护我、关心我的人!啊,帮助我吧,沃尔特,我是多么需要帮助啊!”

  “董贝小姐!弗洛伦斯!我愿意牺牲我的生命来帮助您。

  可是您的朋友们高傲,有钱。您的父亲——”

  “不!不!沃尔特!”她尖声喊叫道,一边十分恐怖地把双手举到头上,使他吓得发呆地站住不动。“别提那两个字!”

  从这时候起,他永远也忘记不了她阻止他提起那名称时的与神色。他觉得,如果他还能再活一百年的话,那么他也永远不会忘记这一点的。

  到一个什么地方去,到任何地方都可以,但永远别回家!一切都过去了,一切都消逝了,一切都失去了,并被打得粉碎了!她遭受冷落与忍受痛苦的全部历史虽然她没有对他叙述过,但却都在她的喊叫声中与神色之中表露出来了;他觉得他永远也不能忘记这一点;他永远也没有忘记。

  她把她温柔的脸紧贴在船长的肩膀上,叙述她是怎样和为什么逃出来的。如果她在这样叙述的时候流出来的每一滴悲痛的眼泪都是一句咒语,落在那位她没有说出名字、也没有加以责备的人的头上的话,那么对他来说,也要比失去这样深刻、这样强烈的爱要好些。——沃尔特怀着畏惧这样想道。

  “好啦,我的宝贝!”当她说话的时候,船长上了光的帽子歪斜着,嘴巴张得大大的,十分注意地听着;当她停止的时候,船长说道,“别哭了,别哭了,我的眼珠子!沃尔特,亲爱的孩子,今夜你离开这里,把这可爱的宝贝留给我来照顾吧!”

  沃尔特用双手拉着她的手,举到他的嘴唇上,吻了它。他现在知道她确实是个无家可归、流浪飘泊、逃亡在外的人了。虽然与她过去理所应当享有荣华富贵的地位相比,她现在对他更为宝贵,可是他觉得,现在她比过去高高在上,使怀着孩子梦想的他眼花缭乱的时候,离他更遥远了。

  卡特尔船长没有这一类思想使他为难,他把弗洛伦斯护送到她的房间里,并不时站在她门外那块有魅力的地方——对他来说,这确实是一块有魅力的地方——守卫着,直到他觉得对她完全放心了,才回到柜台下面去。他在离开守卫的岗位时,情不自禁地再一次通过钥匙孔喊道,“淹死了,是不是,宝贝?”他在下了楼以后,还又一次想试唱一下《可爱的佩格姑娘》那首歌;可是不知什么原因,它总是梗塞在他的喉咙中间,他对它毫无办法;于是他就上床睡觉了,并且梦见老所尔·吉尔斯跟麦克斯廷杰太太结了婚;那位女人把他当做俘虏,关在一个秘密的房间中,不给他足够的食物,使他备受饥饿的折磨。

慕若涵

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爱就像蓝天白云,晴空万里,突然暴风雨!
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Chapter 50
Mr Toots's Complaint
There was an empty room above-stairs at the wooden Midshipman's, which, in days of yore, had been Walter's bedroom. Walter, rousing up the Captain betimes in the morning, proposed that they should carry thither such furniture out of the little parlour as would grace it best, so that Florence might take possession of it when she rose. As nothing could be more agreeable to Captain Cuttle than making himself very red and short of breath in such a cause, he turned to (as he himself said) with a will; and, in a couple of hours, this garret was transformed into a species of land-cabin, adorned with all the choicest moveables out of the parlour, inclusive even of the Tartar frigate, which the Captain hung up over the chimney-piece with such extreme delight, that he could do nothing for half-an-hour afterwards but walk backward from it, lost in admiration.
The Captain could be indueed by no persuasion of Walter's to wind up the big watch, or to take back the canister, or to touch the sugar-tongs and teaspoons. 'No, no, my lad;' was the Captain's invariable reply to any solicitation of the kind, 'I've made that there little property over, jintly.' These words he repeated with great unction and gravity, evidently believing that they had the virtue of an Act of Parliament, and that unless he committed himself by some new admission of ownership, no flaw could be found in such a form of conveyance.
It was an advantage of the new arrangement, that besides the greater seclusion it afforded Florence, it admitted of the Midshipman being restored to his usual post of observation, and also of the shop shutters being taken down. The latter ceremony, however little importance the unconscious Captain attached to it, was not wholly superfluous; for, on the previous day, so much excitement had been occasioned in the neighbourhood, by the shutters remaining unopened, that the Instrument-maker's house had been honoured with an unusual share of public observation, and had been intently stared at from the opposite side of the way, by groups of hungry gazers, at any time between sunrise and sunset. The idlers and vagabonds had been particularly interested in the Captain's fate; constantly grovelling in the mud to apply their eyes to the cellar-grating, under the shop-window, and delighting their imaginations with the fancy that they could see a piece of his coat as he hung in a corner; though this settlement of him was stoutly disputed by an opposite faction, who were of opinion that he lay murdered with a hammer, on the stairs. It was not without exciting some discontent, therefore, that the subject of these rumours was seen early in the morning standing at his shop-door as hale and hearty as if nothing had happened; and the beadle of that quarter, a man of an ambitious character, who had expected to have the distinction of being present at the breaking open of the door, and of giving evidence in full uniform before the coroner, went so far as to say to an opposite neighbour, that the chap in the glazed hat had better not try it on there - without more particularly mentioning what - and further, that he, the beadle, would keep his eye upon him.
'Captain Cuttle,' said Walter, musing, when they stood resting from their labours at the shop-door, looking down the old familiar street; it being still early in the morning; 'nothing at all of Uncle Sol, in all that time!'
'Nothing at all, my lad,' replied the Captain, shaking his head.
'Gone in search of me, dear, kind old man,' said Walter: 'yet never write to you! But why not? He says, in effect, in this packet that you gave me,' taking the paper from his pocket, which had been opened in the presence of the enlightened Bunsby, 'that if you never hear from him before opening it, you may believe him dead. Heaven forbid! But you would have heard of him, even if he were dead! Someone would have written, surely, by his desire, if he could not; and have said, "on such a day, there died in my house," or "under my care," or so forth, "Mr Solomon Gills of London, who left this last remembrance and this last request to you".'
The Captain, who had never climbed to such a clear height of probability before, was greatly impressed by the wide prospect it opened, and answered, with a thoughtful shake of his head, 'Well said, my lad; wery well said.'
'I have been thinking of this, or, at least,' said Walter, colouring, 'I have been thinking of one thing and another, all through a sleepless night, and I cannot believe, Captain Cuttle, but that my Uncle Sol (Lord bless him!) is alive, and will return. I don't so much wonder at his going away, because, leaving out of consideration that spice of the marvellous which was always in his character, and his great affection for me, before which every other consideration of his life became nothing, as no one ought to know so well as I who had the best of fathers in him,' - Walter's voice was indistinct and husky here, and he looked away, along the street, - 'leaving that out of consideration, I say, I have often read and heard of people who, having some near and dear relative, who was supposed to be shipwrecked at sea, have gone down to live on that part of the sea-shore where any tidings of the missing ship might be expected to arrive, though only an hour or two sooner than elsewhere, or have even gone upon her track to the place whither she was bound, as if their going would create intelligence. I think I should do such a thing myself, as soon as another, or sooner than many, perhaps. But why my Uncle shouldn't write to you, when he so clearly intended to do so, or how he should die abroad, and you not know it through some other hand, I cannot make out.'
Captain Cuttle observed, with a shake of his head, that Jack Bunsby himself hadn't made it out, and that he was a man as could give a pretty taut opinion too.
'If my Uncle had been a heedless young man, likely to be entrapped by jovial company to some drinking-place, where he was to be got rid of for the sake of what money he might have about him,' said Walter; 'or if he had been a reckless sailor, going ashore with two or three months' pay in his pocket, I could understand his disappearing, and leaving no trace behind. But, being what he was - and is, I hope - I can't believe it.'
'Wal'r, my lad,' inquired the Captain, wistfully eyeing him as he pondered and pondered, 'what do you make of it, then?'
'Captain Cuttle,' returned Walter, 'I don't know what to make of it. I suppose he never has written! There is no doubt about that?'
'If so be as Sol Gills wrote, my lad,' replied the Captain, argumentatively, 'where's his dispatch?'
'Say that he entrusted it to some private hand,' suggested Walter, 'and that it has been forgotten, or carelessly thrown aside, or lost. Even that is more probable to me, than the other event. In short, I not only cannot bear to contemplate that other event, Captain Cuttle, but I can't, and won't.'
'Hope, you see, Wal'r,' said the Captain, sagely, 'Hope. It's that as animates you. Hope is a buoy, for which you overhaul your Little Warbler, sentimental diwision, but Lord, my lad, like any other buoy, it only floats; it can't be steered nowhere. Along with the figure-head of Hope,' said the Captain, 'there's a anchor; but what's the good of my having a anchor, if I can't find no bottom to let it go in?'
Captain Cuttle said this rather in his character of a sagacious citizen and householder, bound to impart a morsel from his stores of wisdom to an inexperienced youth, than in his own proper person. Indeed, his face was quite luminous as he spoke, with new hope, caught from Walter; and he appropriately concluded by slapping him on the back; and saying, with enthusiasm, 'Hooroar, my lad! Indiwidually, I'm o' your opinion.' Walter, with his cheerful laugh, returned the salutation, and said:
'Only one word more about my Uncle at present' Captain Cuttle. I suppose it is impossible that he can have written in the ordinary course - by mail packet, or ship letter, you understand - '
'Ay, ay, my lad,' said the Captain approvingly.
And that you have missed the letter, anyhow?'
'Why, Wal'r,' said the Captain, turning his eyes upon him with a faint approach to a severe expression, 'ain't I been on the look-out for any tidings of that man o' science, old Sol Gills, your Uncle, day and night, ever since I lost him? Ain't my heart been heavy and watchful always, along of him and you? Sleeping and waking, ain't I been upon my post, and wouldn't I scorn to quit it while this here Midshipman held together!'
'Yes, Captain Cuttle,' replied Walter, grasping his hand, 'I know you would, and I know how faithful and earnest all you say and feel is. I am sure of it. You don't doubt that I am as sure of it as I am that my foot is again upon this door-step, or that I again have hold of this true hand. Do you?'
'No, no, Wal'r,' returned the Captain, with his beaming
'I'll hazard no more conjectures,' said Walter, fervently shaking the hard hand of the Captain, who shook his with no less goodwill. 'All I will add is, Heaven forbid that I should touch my Uncle's possessions, Captain Cuttle! Everything that he left here, shall remain in the care of the truest of stewards and kindest of men - and if his name is not Cuttle, he has no name! Now, best of friends, about - Miss Dombey.'
There was a change in Walter's manner, as he came to these two words; and when he uttered them, all his confidence and cheerfulness appeared to have deserted him.
'I thought, before Miss Dombey stopped me when I spoke of her father last night,' said Walter, ' - you remember how?'
The Captain well remembered, and shook his head.
'I thought,' said Walter, 'before that, that we had but one hard duty to perform, and that it was, to prevail upon her to communicate with her friends, and to return home.'
The Captain muttered a feeble 'Awast!' or a 'Stand by!' or something or other, equally pertinent to the occasion; but it was rendered so extremely feeble by the total discomfiture with which he received this announcement, that what it was, is mere matter of conjecture.
'But,' said Walter, 'that is over. I think so, no longer. I would sooner be put back again upon that piece of wreck, on which I have so often floated, since my preservation, in my dreams, and there left to drift, and drive, and die!'
'Hooroar, my lad!' exclaimed the Captain, in a burst of uncontrollable satisfaction. 'Hooroar! hooroar! hooroar!'
'To think that she, so young, so good, and beautiful,' said Walter, 'so delicately brought up, and born to such a different fortune, should strive with the rough world! But we have seen the gulf that cuts off all behind her, though no one but herself can know how deep it is; and there is no return.
Captain Cuttle, without quite understanding this, greatly approved of it, and observed in a tone of strong corroboration, that the wind was quite abaft.
'She ought not to be alone here; ought she, Captain Cuttle?' said Walter, anxiously.
'Well, my lad,' replied the Captain, after a little sagacious consideration. 'I don't know. You being here to keep her company, you see, and you two being jintly - '
'Dear Captain Cuttle!' remonstrated Walter. 'I being here! Miss Dombey, in her guileless innocent heart, regards me as her adopted brother; but what would the guile and guilt of my heart be, if I pretended to believe that I had any right to approach her, familiarly, in that character - if I pretended to forget that I am bound, in honour, not to do it?'
'Wal'r, my lad,' hinted the Captain, with some revival of his discomfiture, 'ain't there no other character as - '
'Oh!' returned Walter, 'would you have me die in her esteem - in such esteem as hers - and put a veil between myself and her angel's face for ever, by taking advantage of her being here for refuge, so trusting and so unprotected, to endeavour to exalt myself into her lover? What do I say? There is no one in the world who would be more opposed to me if I could do so, than you.'
'Wal'r, my lad,' said the Captain, drooping more and more, 'prowiding as there is any just cause or impediment why two persons should not be jined together in the house of bondage, for which you'll overhaul the place and make a note, I hope I should declare it as promised and wowed in the banns. So there ain't no other character; ain't there, my lad?'
Walter briskly waved his hand in the negative.
'Well, my lad,' growled the Captain slowly, 'I won't deny but what I find myself wery much down by the head, along o' this here, or but what I've gone clean about. But as to Lady lass, Wal'r, mind you, wot's respect and duty to her, is respect and duty in my articles, howsumever disapinting; and therefore I follows in your wake, my lad, and feel as you are, no doubt, acting up to yourself. And there ain't no other character, ain't there?' said the Captain, musing over the ruins of his fallen castle, with a very despondent face.
'Now, Captain Cuttle,' said Walter, starting a fresh point with a gayer air, to cheer the Captain up - but nothing could do that; he was too much concerned - 'I think we should exert ourselves to find someone who would be a proper attendant for Miss Dombey while she remains here, and who may be trusted. None of her relations may. It's clear Miss Dombey feels that they are all subservient to her father. What has become of Susan?'
'The young woman?' returned the Captain. 'It's my belief as she was sent away again the will of Heart's Delight. I made a signal for her when Lady lass first come, and she rated of her wery high, and said she had been gone a long time.'
'Then,' said Walter, 'do you ask Miss Dombey where she's gone, and we'll try to find her. The morning's getting on, and Miss Dombey will soon be rising. You are her best friend. Wait for her upstairs, and leave me to take care of all down here.'
The Captain, very crest-fallen indeed, echoed the sigh with which Walter said this, and complied. Florence was delighted with her new room, anxious to see Walter, and overjoyed at the prospect of greeting her old friend Susan. But Florence could not say where Susan was gone, except that it was in Essex, and no one could say, she remembered, unless it were Mr Toots.
With this information the melancholy Captain returned to Walter, and gave him to understand that Mr Toots was the young gentleman whom he had encountered on the door-step, and that he was a friend of his, and that he was a young gentleman of property, and that he hopelessly adored Miss Dombey. The Captain also related how the intelligence of Walter's supposed fate had first made him acquainted with Mr Toots, and how there was solemn treaty and compact between them, that Mr Toots should be mute upon the subject of his love.
The question then was, whether Florence could trust Mr Toots; and Florence saying, with a smile, 'Oh, yes, with her whole heart!' it became important to find out where Mr Toots lived. This, Florence didn't know, and the Captain had forgotten; and the Captain was telling Walter, in the little parlour, that Mr Toots was sure to be there soon, when in came Mr Toots himself.
'Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, rushing into the parlour without any ceremony, 'I'm in a state of mind bordering on distraction!'
Mr Toots had discharged those words, as from a mortar, before he observed Walter, whom he recognised with what may be described as a chuckle of misery.
'You'll excuse me, Sir,' said Mr Toots, holding his forehead, 'but I'm at present in that state that my brain is going, if not gone, and anything approaching to politeness in an individual so situated would be a hollow mockery. Captain Gills, I beg to request the favour of a private interview.'
'Why, Brother,' returned the Captain, taking him by the hand, 'you are the man as we was on the look-out for.'
'Oh, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, 'what a look-out that must be, of which I am the object! I haven't dared to shave, I'm in that rash state. I haven't had my clothes brushed. My hair is matted together. I told the Chicken that if he offered to clean my boots, I'd stretch him a Corpse before me!'
All these indications of a disordered mind were verified in Mr Toots's appearance, which was wild and savage.
'See here, Brother,' said the Captain. 'This here's old Sol Gills's nevy Wal'r. Him as was supposed to have perished at sea'
Mr Toots took his hand from his forehead, and stared at Walter.
'Good gracious me!' stammered Mr Toots. 'What a complication of misery! How-de-do? I - I - I'm afraid you must have got very wet. Captain Gills, will you allow me a word in the shop?'
He took the Captain by the coat, and going out with him whispered:
'That then, Captain Gills, is the party you spoke of, when you said that he and Miss Dombey were made for one another?'
'Why, ay, my lad,' replied the disconsolate Captain; 'I was of that mind once.'
'And at this time!' exclaimed Mr Toots, with his hand to his forehead again. 'Of all others! - a hated rival! At least, he ain't a hated rival,' said Mr Toots, stopping short, on second thoughts, and taking away his hand; 'what should I hate him for? No. If my affection has been truly disinterested, Captain Gills, let me prove it now!'
Mr Toots shot back abruptly into the parlour, and said, wringing Walter by the hand:
'How-de-do? I hope you didn't take any cold. I - I shall be very glad if you'll give me the pleasure of your acquaintance. I wish you many happy returns of the day. Upon my word and honour,' said Mr Toots, warming as he became better acquainted with Walter's face and figure, 'I'm very glad to see you!'
'Thank you, heartily,' said Walter. 'I couldn't desire a more genuine and genial welcome.'
'Couldn't you, though?' said Mr Toots, still shaking his hand. 'It's very kind of you. I'm much obliged to you. How-de-do? I hope you left everybody quite well over the - that is, upon the - I mean wherever you came from last, you know.'
All these good wishes, and better intentions, Walter responded to manfully.
'Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, 'I should wish to be strictly honourable; but I trust I may be allowed now, to allude to a certain subject that - '
'Ay, ay, my lad,' returned the Captain. 'Freely, freely.'
'Then, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, 'and Lieutenant Walters - are you aware that the most dreadful circumstances have been happening at Mr Dombey's house, and that Miss Dombey herself has left her father, who, in my opinion,' said Mr Toots, with great excitement, 'is a Brute, that it would be a flattery to call a - a marble monument, or a bird of prey, - and that she is not to be found, and has gone no one knows where?'
'May I ask how you heard this?' inquired Walter.
'Lieutenant Walters,' said Mr Toots, who had arrived at that appellation by a process peculiar to himself; probably by jumbling up his Christian name with the seafaring profession, and supposing some relationship between him and the Captain, which would extend, as a matter of course, to their titles; 'Lieutenant Walters, I can have no objection to make a straightforward reply. The fact is, that feeling extremely interested in everything that relates to Miss Dombey - not for any selfish reason, Lieutenant Walters, for I am well aware that the most able thing I could do for all parties would be to put an end to my existence, which can only be regarded as an inconvenience - I have been in the habit of bestowing a trifle now and then upon a footman; a most respectable young man, of the name of Towlinson, who has lived in the family some time; and Towlinson informed me, yesterday evening, that this was the state of things. Since which, Captain Gills - and Lieutenant Walters - I have been perfectly frantic, and have been lying down on the sofa all night, the Ruin you behold.'
'Mr Toots,' said Walter, 'I am happy to be able to relieve your mind. Pray calm yourself. Miss Dombey is safe and well.'
'Sir!' cried Mr Toots, starting from his chair and shaking hands with him anew, 'the relief is so excessive, and unspeakable, that if you were to tell me now that Miss Dombey was married even, I could smile. Yes, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, appealing to him, 'upon my soul and body, I really think, whatever I might do to myself immediately afterwards, that I could smile, I am so relieved.'
'It will be a greater relief and delight still, to such a generous mind as yours,' said Walter, not at all slow in returning his greeting, 'to find that you can render service to Miss Dombey. Captain Cuttle, will you have the kindness to take Mr Toots upstairs?'
The Captain beckoned to Mr Toots, who followed him with a bewildered countenance, and, ascending to the top of the house, was introduced, without a word of preparation from his conductor, into Florence's new retreat.
Poor Mr Toots's amazement and pleasure at sight of her were such, that they could find a vent in nothing but extravagance. He ran up to her, seized her hand, kissed it, dropped it, seized it again, fell upon one knee, shed tears, chuckled, and was quite regardless of his danger of being pinned by Diogenes, who, inspired by the belief that there was something hostile to his mistress in these demonstrations, worked round and round him, as if only undecided at what particular point to go in for the assault, but quite resolved to do him a fearful mischief.
'Oh Di, you bad, forgetful dog! Dear Mr Toots, I am so rejoiced to see you!'
'Thankee,' said Mr Toots, 'I am pretty well, I'm much obliged to you, Miss Dombey. I hope all the family are the same.'
Mr Toots said this without the least notion of what he was talking about, and sat down on a chair, staring at Florence with the liveliest contention of delight and despair going on in his face that any face could exhibit.
'Captain Gills and Lieutenant Walters have mentioned, Miss Dombey,' gasped Mr Toots, 'that I can do you some service. If I could by any means wash out the remembrance of that day at Brighton, when I conducted myself - much more like a Parricide than a person of independent property,' said Mr Toots, with severe self-accusation, 'I should sink into the silent tomb with a gleam of joy.'
'Pray, Mr Toots,' said Florence, 'do not wish me to forget anything in our acquaintance. I never can, believe me. You have been far too kind and good to me always.'
'Miss Dombey,' returned Mr Toots, 'your consideration for my feelings is a part of your angelic character. Thank you a thousand times. It's of no consequence at all.'
'What we thought of asking you,' said Florence, 'is, whether you remember where Susan, whom you were so kind as to accompany to the coach-office when she left me, is to be found.'
'Why I do not certainly, Miss Dombey,' said Mr Toots, after a little consideration, 'remember the exact name of the place that was on the coach; and I do recollect that she said she was not going to stop there, but was going farther on. But, Miss Dombey, if your object is to find her, and to have her here, myself and the Chicken will produce her with every dispatch that devotion on my part, and great intelligence on the Chicken's, can ensure.
Mr Toots was so manifestly delighted and revived by the prospect of being useful, and the disinterested sincerity of his devotion was so unquestionable, that it would have been cruel to refuse him. Florence, with an instinctive delicacy, forbore to urge the least obstacle, though she did not forbear to overpower him with thanks; and Mr Toots proudly took the commission upon himself for immediate execution.
'Miss Dombey,' said Mr Toots, touching her proffered hand, with a pang of hopeless love visibly shooting through him, and flashing out in his face, 'Good-bye! Allow me to take the liberty of saying, that your misfortunes make me perfectly wretched, and that you may trust me, next to Captain Gills himself. I am quite aware, Miss Dombey, of my own deficiencies - they're not of the least consequence, thank you - but I am entirely to be relied upon, I do assure you, Miss Dombey.'
With that Mr Toots came out of the room, again accompanied by the Captain, who, standing at a little distance, holding his hat under his arm and arranging his scattered locks with his hook, had been a not uninterested witness of what passed. And when the door closed behind them, the light of Mr Toots's life was darkly clouded again.
'Captain Gills,' said that gentleman, stopping near the bottom of the stairs, and turning round, 'to tell you the truth, I am not in a frame of mind at the present moment, in which I could see Lieutenant Walters with that entirely friendly feeling towards him that I should wish to harbour in my breast. We cannot always command our feelings, Captain Gills, and I should take it as a particular favour if you'd let me out at the private door.'
'Brother,' returned the Captain, 'you shall shape your own course. Wotever course you take, is plain and seamanlike, I'm wery sure.
'Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, 'you're extremely kind. Your good opinion is a consolation to me. There is one thing,' said Mr Toots, standing in the passage, behind the half-opened door, 'that I hope you'll bear in mind, Captain Gills, and that I should wish Lieutenant Walters to be made acquainted with. I have quite come into my property now, you know, and - and I don't know what to do with it. If I could be at all useful in a pecuniary point of view, I should glide into the silent tomb with ease and smoothness.'
Mr Toots said no more, but slipped out quietly and shut the door upon himself, to cut the Captain off from any reply.
Florence thought of this good creature, long after he had left her, with mingled emotions of pain and pleasure. He was so honest and warm-hearted, that to see him again and be assured of his truth to her in her distress, was a joy and comfort beyond all price; but for that very reason, it was so affecting to think that she caused him a moment's unhappiness, or ruffled, by a breath, the harmless current of his life, that her eyes filled with tears, and her bosom overflowed with pity. Captain Cuttle, in his different way, thought much of Mr Toots too; and so did Walter; and when the evening came, and they were all sitting together in Florence's new room, Walter praised him in a most impassioned manner, and told Florence what he had said on leaving the house, with every graceful setting-off in the way of comment and appreciation that his own honesty and sympathy could surround it with.
Mr Toots did not return upon the next day, or the next, or for several days; and in the meanwhile Florence, without any new alarm, lived like a quiet bird in a cage, at the top of the old Instrument-maker's house. But Florence drooped and hung her head more and more plainly, as the days went on; and the expression that had been seen in the face of the dead child, was often turned to the sky from her high window, as if it sought his angel out, on the bright shore of which he had spoken: lying on his little bed.
Florence had been weak and delicate of late, and the agitation she had undergone was not without its influences on her health. But it was no bodily illness that affected her now. She was distressed in mind; and the cause of her distress was Walter.
Interested in her, anxious for her, proud and glad to serve her, and showing all this with the enthusiasm and ardour of his character, Florence saw that he avoided her. All the long day through, he seldom approached her room. If she asked for him, he came, again for the moment as earnest and as bright as she remembered him when she was a lost child in the staring streets; but he soon became constrained - her quick affection was too watchful not to know it - and uneasy, and soon left her. Unsought, he never came, all day, between the morning and the night. When the evening closed in, he was always there, and that was her happiest time, for then she half believed that the old Walter of her childhood was not changed. But, even then, some trivial word, look, or circumstance would show her that there was an indefinable division between them which could not be passed.
And she could not but see that these revealings of a great alteration in Walter manifested themselves in despite of his utmost efforts to hide them. In his consideration for her, she thought, and in the earnestness of his desire to spare her any wound from his kind hand, he resorted to innumerable little artifices and disguises. So much the more did Florence feel the greatness of the alteration in him; so much the oftener did she weep at this estrangement of her brother.
The good Captain - her untiring, tender, ever zealous friend - saw it, too, Florence thought, and it pained him. He was less cheerful and hopeful than he had been at first, and would steal looks at her and Walter, by turns, when they were all three together of an evening, with quite a sad face.
Florence resolved, at last, to speak to Walter. She believed she knew now what the cause of his estrangement was, and she thought it would be a relief to her full heart, and would set him more at ease, if she told him she had found it out, and quite submitted to it, and did not reproach him.
It was on a certain Sunday afternoon, that Florence took this resolution. The faithful Captain, in an amazing shirt-collar, was sitting by her, reading with his spectacles on, and she asked him where Walter was.
'I think he's down below, my lady lass,' returned the Captain.
'I should like to speak to him,' said Florence, rising hurriedly as if to go downstairs.
'I'll rouse him up here, Beauty,' said the Captain, 'in a trice.'
Thereupon the Captain, with much alacrity, shouldered his book - for he made it a point of duty to read none but very large books on a Sunday, as having a more staid appearance: and had bargained, years ago, for a prodigious volume at a book-stall, five lines of which utterly confounded him at any time, insomuch that he had not yet ascertained of what subject it treated - and withdrew. Walter soon appeared.
'Captain Cuttle tells me, Miss Dombey,' he eagerly began on coming in - but stopped when he saw her face.
'You are not so well to-day. You look distressed. You have been weeping.'
He spoke so kindly, and with such a fervent tremor in his voice, that the tears gushed into her eyes at the sound of his words.
'Walter,' said Florence, gently, 'I am not quite well, and I have been weeping. I want to speak to you.'
He sat down opposite to her, looking at her beautiful and innocent face; and his own turned pale, and his lips trembled.
'You said, upon the night when I knew that you were saved - and oh! dear Walter, what I felt that night, and what I hoped!' - '
He put his trembling hand upon the table between them, and sat looking at her.
- 'that I was changed. I was surprised to hear you say so, but I understand, now, that I am. Don't be angry with me, Walter. I was too much overjoyed to think of it, then.'
She seemed a child to him again. It was the ingenuous, confiding, loving child he saw and heard. Not the dear woman, at whose feet he would have laid the riches of the earth.
'You remember the last time I saw you, Walter, before you went away?'
He put his hand into his breast, and took out a little purse.
'I have always worn it round my neck! If I had gone down in the deep, it would have been with me at the bottom of the sea.'
'And you will wear it still, Walter, for my old sake?'
'Until I die!'
She laid her hand on his, as fearlessly and simply, as if not a day had intervened since she gave him the little token of remembrance.
'I am glad of that. I shall be always glad to think so, Walter. Do you recollect that a thought of this change seemed to come into our minds at the same time that evening, when we were talking together?'
'No!' he answered, in a wondering tone.
'Yes, Walter. I had been the means of injuring your hopes and prospects even then. I feared to think so, then, but I know it now. If you were able, then, in your generosity, to hide from me that you knew it too, you cannot do so now, although you try as generously as before. You do. I thank you for it, Walter, deeply, truly; but you cannot succeed. You have suffered too much in your own hardships, and in those of your dearest relation, quite to overlook the innocent cause of all the peril and affliction that has befallen you. You cannot quite forget me in that character, and we can be brother and sister no longer. But, dear Walter, do not think that I complain of you in this. I might have known it - ought to have known it - but forgot it in my joy. All I hope is that you may think of me less irksomely when this feeling is no more a secret one; and all I ask is, Walter, in the name of the poor child who was your sister once, that you will not struggle with yourself, and pain yourself, for my sake, now that I know all!'
Walter had looked upon her while she said this, with a face so full of wonder and amazement, that it had room for nothing else. Now he caught up the hand that touched his, so entreatingly, and held it between his own.
'Oh, Miss Dombey,' he said, 'is it possible that while I have been suffering so much, in striving with my sense of what is due to you, and must be rendered to you, I have made you suffer what your words disclose to me? Never, never, before Heaven, have I thought of you but as the single, bright, pure, blessed recollection of my boyhood and my youth. Never have I from the first, and never shall I to the last, regard your part in my life, but as something sacred, never to be lightly thought of, never to be esteemed enough, never, until death, to be forgotten. Again to see you look, and hear you speak, as you did on that night when we parted, is happiness to me that there are no words to utter; and to be loved and trusted as your brother, is the next gift I could receive and prize!'
'Walter,' said Florence, looking at him earnestly, but with a changing face, 'what is that which is due to me, and must be rendered to me, at the sacrifice of all this?'
'Respect,' said Walter, in a low tone. 'Reverence.
The colour dawned in her face, and she timidly and thoughtfully withdrew her hand; still looking at him with unabated earnestness.
'I have not a brother's right,' said Walter. 'I have not a brother's claim. I left a child. I find a woman.'
The colour overspread her face. She made a gesture as if of entreaty that he would say no more, and her face dropped upon her hands.
They were both silent for a time; she weeping.
'I owe it to a heart so trusting, pure, and good,' said Walter, 'even to tear myself from it, though I rend my own. How dare I say it is my sister's!'
She was weeping still.
'If you had been happy; surrounded as you should be by loving and admiring friends, and by all that makes the station you were born to enviable,' said Walter; 'and if you had called me brother, then, in your affectionate remembrance of the past, I could have answered to the name from my distant place, with no inward assurance that I wronged your spotless truth by doing so. But here - and now!'
'Oh thank you, thank you, Walter! Forgive my having wronged you so much. I had no one to advise me. I am quite alone.'
'Florence!' said Walter, passionately. 'I am hurried on to say, what I thought, but a few moments ago, nothing could have forced from my lips. If I had been prosperous; if I had any means or hope of being one day able to restore you to a station near your own; I would have told you that there was one name you might bestow upon - me - a right above all others, to protect and cherish you - that I was worthy of in nothing but the love and honour that I bore you, and in my whole heart being yours. I would have told you that it was the only claim that you could give me to defend and guard you, which I dare accept and dare assert; but that if I had that right, I would regard it as a trust so precious and so priceless, that the undivided truth and fervour of my life would poorly acknowledge its worth.'
The head was still bent down, the tears still falling, and the bosom swelling with its sobs.
'Dear Florence! Dearest Florence! whom I called so in my thoughts before I could consider how presumptuous and wild it was. One last time let me call you by your own dear name, and touch this gentle hand in token of your sisterly forgetfulness of what I have said.'
She raised her head, and spoke to him with such a solemn sweetness in her eyes; with such a calm, bright, placid smile shining on him through her tears; with such a low, soft tremble in her frame and voice; that the innermost chords of his heart were touched, and his sight was dim as he listened.
'No, Walter, I cannot forget it. I would not forget it, for the world. Are you - are you very poor?'
'I am but a wanderer,' said Walter, 'making voyages to live, across the sea. That is my calling now.
'Are you soon going away again, Walter?'
'Very soon.
She sat looking at him for a moment; then timidly put her trembling hand in his.
'If you will take me for your wife, Walter, I will love you dearly. If you will let me go with you, Walter, I will go to the world's end without fear. I can give up nothing for you - I have nothing to resign, and no one to forsake; but all my love and life shall be devoted to you, and with my last breath I will breathe your name to God if I have sense and memory left.'
He caught her to his heart, and laid her cheek against his own, and now, no more repulsed, no more forlorn, she wept indeed, upon the breast of her dear lover.
Blessed Sunday Bells, ringing so tranquilly in their entranced and happy ears! Blessed Sunday peace and quiet, harmonising with the calmness in their souls, and making holy air around them! Blessed twilight stealing on, and shading her so soothingly and gravely, as she falls asleep, like a hushed child, upon the bosom she has clung to!
Oh load of love and trustfulness that lies to lightly there! Ay, look down on the closed eyes, Walter, with a proudly tender gaze; for in all the wide wide world they seek but thee now - only thee!
The Captain remained in the little parlour until it was quite dark. He took the chair on which Walter had been sitting, and looked up at the skylight, until the day, by little and little, faded away, and the stars peeped down. He lighted a candle, lighted a pipe, smoked it out, and wondered what on earth was going on upstairs, and why they didn't call him to tea.
Florence came to his side while he was in the height of his wonderment.
'Ay! lady lass!' cried the Captain. 'Why, you and Wal'r have had a long spell o' talk, my beauty.'
Florence put her little hand round one of the great buttons of his coat, and said, looking down into his face:
'Dear Captain, I want to tell you something, if you please.
The Captain raised his head pretty smartly, to hear what it was. Catching by this means a more distinct view of Florence, he pushed back his chair, and himself with it, as far as they could go.
'What! Heart's Delight!' cried the Captain, suddenly elated, 'Is it that?'
'Yes!' said Florence, eagerly.
'Wal'r! Husband! THAT?' roared the Captain, tossing up his glazed hat into the skylight.
'Yes!' cried Florence, laughing and crying together.
The Captain immediately hugged her; and then, picking up the glazed hat and putting it on, drew her arm through his, and conducted her upstairs again; where he felt that the great joke of his life was now to be made.
'What, Wal'r my lad!' said the Captain, looking in at the door, with his face like an amiable warming-pan. 'So there ain't NO other character, ain't there?'
He had like to have suffocated himself with this pleasantry, which he repeated at least forty times during tea; polishing his radiant face with the sleeve of his coat, and dabbing his head all over with his pocket-handkerchief, in the intervals. But he was not without a graver source of enjoyment to fall back upon, when so disposed, for he was repeatedly heard to say in an undertone, as he looked with ineffable delight at Walter and Florence:
'Ed'ard Cuttle, my lad, you never shaped a better course in your life, than when you made that there little property over, jintly!'
在木制海军军官候补生家中的顶楼里有一个空房间,过去是沃尔特的卧室。沃尔特一清早唤醒船长之后,建议把最好的家具从小客厅搬到那里去,把房间装饰得尽量漂亮一些,使弗洛伦斯起床以后就可以搬进去住。卡特尔船长搬得脸孔通红,气喘吁吁,但他觉得没有什么比这更使他愉快的了;用他自己的话来说,他是心甘情愿这样做的;两三个小时以后,这个顶楼就被改造成一个陆地上的船舱,用小客厅里最精美的物品装饰着;其中甚至包括那幅鞑靼人的快速帆船的画,船长把它挂在壁炉架上方,高兴极了;他离开它向后倒退,出神地赞赏它,在这之后的半个钟头内,其他什么事也干不了。
沃尔特不论怎么劝说,也不能使船长去把他的大表的发条拧紧,取回茶叶罐或动一动方糖箝子和茶匙。“不,不,我的孩子,”船长对这类恳求总是始终不变地回答道,“这份小小的财产我已转交给你们共同使用了。”他热心地、认真地重复着这些话,显然他相信它们具有议会法令一样的效力;除非他自己重新承认他享有所有权,否则这种转让财产的形式是找不出什么毛病来的。
这种新的安排有一个好处,就是除了使弗洛伦斯可以居住到更为隐僻的地方外,还可以把海军军官候补生重新安置到他经常的观察岗哨上去,而且店铺里的护窗板也可以拆下来了。心中毫无猜疑的船长对后一个措施不论多么不重视,但它决不是完全多余的,因为前一天护窗板一直关闭着,这在邻近的居民中引起了很大的哄动;仪器制造商的住宅荣幸地受到了公众异乎寻常的注意;从日出到日落,时时都有几群爱看热闹的人聚集在道路对面,密切注视着它。那些游手好闲的人和无赖们对船长的命运特别感兴趣,他们不时地趴在泥地上,通过店铺窗子下面地窖的格栅往里面探望,高兴地想象着船长在一个角落里上吊死了,他们可以看到他的外衣的一部分,可是另一伙人竭力反对对他的下落持这种看法,他们认为他被人用锤子暗杀了,现正躺在楼梯上。因此,当他们看到这些谣传的对象一清早站在店铺门口,身体十分硬朗,仿佛什么事情也没有发生过的一样,他们不免感到有些失望;这个区域的教区事务员是一位有野心的人,原先曾希望在把门强行砸开的时候他能光荣地在场,并穿上全套礼服到验尸官前去作证,这时竟然对对面的邻居说,这位戴着上了光的帽子的家伙最好别开这样的玩笑——他没有具体说明是什么玩笑——,还说他(教区事务员)要监视他。
“卡特尔船长,”当他们劳动之后,站在店铺门口休息,眺望着熟悉的老街道的时候,沃尔特沉思地说道,“这些时候一直来就没有听到所尔舅舅的一点音讯吗?”
“一点音讯也没有,我的孩子,”船长摇摇头,回答道。
“亲爱的、仁慈的老人出去寻找我,”沃尔特说道,“然而却没有给您写过一封信!可是为什么没有写呢?实际上,在您交给我的这个包裹里的信中,”他从衣袋中掏出那页当着聪明的邦斯贝的面拆开的信,“他说,如果当您打开它的时候,您听不到他的丝毫音讯的话,那么您可以相信他已死了。但愿上帝阻止这样的事情!但是即使他•确•实已经死了的话,那么您也是会•听•到他的音讯的!如果他自己不能写的话,那么也一定会有人按照他的愿望写信通知您:‘他已在某月某日死在我家里,’或‘他在我的照料下死去’,等等,‘伦敦人所罗门•吉尔斯先生要求向您转达他这个最后的问候和这个最后的请求’。”
船长以前从来没有攀登上这样开阔的可能性的高峰,现在对展现在他面前的宽广的前景产生了深刻的印象;他若有所思地摇着头,回答道,“说得好,我的孩子,说得很好。”
“在这难以入睡的夜里,我一直在想着这件事情;不过,”沃尔特红着脸,说道,“我也还想到其他一些事情;我不能不相信,卡特尔船长,我的所尔舅舅(愿上帝保佑他!)还活着;他将会回来。他的出走我并不感到很奇怪,因为,别提经常成为他性格特点的那种不可思议的东西,也别提他对我深厚的感情——在这种深厚的感情前面,他对他生命的其他考虑都是不值一顾的;要知道,我从他那里受到了世界上最好的父亲才会给予的关怀;没有任何人能比我对这一点了解得更清楚的了。”——这时沃尔特的干哑了,听不清了,他把眼睛转开,沿着街道望过去,“这一切都不去提了;我是说,我时常从书本中读到和听人说过,有些人有个什么亲近的亲爱的亲属可能在海上遭遇到船只失事,他们就迁居到海边的那些地方去,以便能早听到遇难船的消息,哪怕早听一、两个小时也好;他们或者甚至沿着航线走去,直到那条船的目的地为止,仿佛他们的旅行会产生出消息来似的。我想,我自己也会做这种事情,做得比别人一样快,也许比许多人还快一些。我的舅舅显然打算这样去做,可是这时候他为什么没有写信给您呢?再说,他怎么能在外面死去,而您却没有从别的什么人那里了解到这一点呢——我实在不明白!”
卡特尔船长摇摇头说,杰克•邦斯贝是一位能说出绝妙意见来的人,可是连他也不明白这一点。
“如果我的舅舅是一位粗心大意的年轻人的话,那么他的那些快活的朋友可能会把他诱骗到一个什么酒店里,把他收拾掉,以便抢占他身上的钱财;”沃尔特说道,“或者如果他是个冒冒失失的海员,口袋里装着两、三个月的工资,跑上岸去,那么我能明白他为什么销声匿迹的原因。可是他过去是那样的一个人——我希望,他现在也仍然是那样的一个人——,我就不能相信他会这样毫无音讯地死去。”
“沃尔,我的孩子,”船长在思索着、思索着的时候、愁闷地凝视着他,问道,“那么你是怎样解释这件事的呢?”
“卡特尔船长,”沃尔特回答道,“我不知道怎样解释这件事。我假定,他从来没有给您写过信!这没有什么可以怀疑的吧?”
“如果所尔•吉尔斯写过的话,我的孩子,”船长争辩地回答道,“那么他的信在哪里呢?”
“假定他把它托交给了什么人,”沃尔特假设着,说道,“而它被遗忘了或者被随便地扔在一旁,或者被丢失了。哪怕是这样的猜想在我看来也要比其他情况更可能发生。总之,我不仅忍受不了去揣摩其他情况,而且不能,也不想去揣摩。”“你知道,沃尔,这是希望,”船长像哲人一样说道,“希望!是它鼓舞了你。希望是个救生圈——请翻一下你的《小鸣禽》这本书中的感伤篇,就可以找到这句话,可是老天爷,我的孩子,希望就像其他的救生圈一样,只是漂浮在水面,而不能把它驾驶到哪里去。除了希望之神这个船头的雕塑外,还有锚,”船长继续说道,“可是如果我找不到海底的一个地方可以把它抛下去,我有一个锚又有什么好处呢?”
卡特尔船长的这些话与其说是以他本人独特的身份说的,还不如说是以一位有才智的公民与户主的身份,有责任把自己的点滴智慧传授给没有经验的年轻人,所以才说出的。可是他在说话的时候,确实由于从沃尔特那里获得新的希望而容光焕发,他轻轻地拍拍他的背,怀着热情,适当地结束他的话,说道,“万岁,我的孩子!我本人赞成你的意见。”
沃尔特用快乐的笑声回答了他的欢呼,说道:
“关于舅舅,我只想再讲一句话,卡特尔船长。我想,他通过通常的方式——通过邮局或邮船——来写信是不可能的,您懂得这一点。”
“是的,是的,我的孩子,”船长赞同地说道。
“您把信丢失也是不可能的,是不是?”
“什么,沃尔,”船长神色稍稍严肃起来,注视着他,说道,“从我失去这位通晓科学的人,老所尔•吉尔斯,你的舅舅的时候起,难道我不曾日日夜夜、眼巴巴地在盼望着他的消息吗?难道我的心不曾感到沉重,难道我不是一直在等候着他和你吗?难道我不论睡着还是醒着不都在坚守着我的岗位吗?难道在海军军官候补生还是完好无恙的时候,我不曾认为把它抛弃是卑鄙可耻的吗?”
“是的,卡特尔船长,”沃尔特紧握着他的手,回答道,“我知道您是会这样的。我也知道您所说的,所感觉的一切是多么忠实与真挚。我对这深信不疑。我相信它就像我相信我的脚踩在这门口的台阶上或我又握住了这只真诚的手一样,这一点您不会怀疑吧,是不是?”
“不会,不会,沃尔,”船长脸上喜气洋溢地回答道。
“我不再胡乱猜想了,”沃尔特热烈地握着船长坚硬的手,说道,船长也同样亲切地握着他的手。“我只想补充一句:我要是动一动我舅舅的财产,老天爷都不允许!他所留在这里的一切东西,将继续由世界上最诚实的管家和最厚道的人照管。这个人不是别人,他就姓卡特尔。现在,我最好的朋友,让我们谈谈——董贝小姐吧。”
沃尔特将要提到这四个字的时候,他的神态有些变化;当他把这四个字说出来的时候,他的信心与兴致似乎完全离开他了。
“昨天晚上当我提到董贝小姐的父亲的时候,她阻止了我,”沃尔特说道,“——您记得当时的情况吧?”
船长记得很清楚,所以点点头。
“在这之前,我原来的想法是,”沃尔特说道,“我们必须履行一个艰难的职责,就是劝说她跟她的朋友们通信,并回到家里去。”
船长用微弱的没了一声“等一等!”或“做好准备!”或在当时情况下同样恰当的什么话;可是由于他听到沃尔特宣布他的这个打算时心慌意乱,所以他的微弱极了,究竟他说了什么话,用只能猜测罢了。
“可是,”沃尔特说道,“那已经过去了。我现在不再那么想了。我宁肯重新待在那条遇难的船的碎片上(从我得救的时候起,我曾经多次在梦中在它上面漂流),我宁肯听凭风吹浪打,随波逐流,最后死去,也不愿意她回去!”
“万岁,我的孩子!”船长在难以抑制的称心满意的冲动下,大声喊叫道,“万岁!万岁!万岁!”
“只要想一想,她是那么年轻,那么善良,那么漂亮,”沃尔特说道,“过去是那么娇生惯养,生来是准备接受另一种命运的,如今却竟必须跟这残酷无情的世界进行斗争!那条把她和她过去的一切完全切断的鸿沟,虽然除了她本人之外,谁也不知道有多少深,可是我们已经看到它了。事态已经无法挽回。”
卡特尔船长不很明白这些话的含意,但却表示十分赞同,并用深表同感的语气说道,很顺风。
“她不应当一个人留在这里,是不是,卡特尔船长?”沃尔特焦急不安地问道。
“唔,我的孩子,”船长聪明地思索了一会儿之后,回答道,“这我不知道。你现在在这里,可以陪伴她,而当你们两人在一起的时候——”
“亲爱的卡特尔船长!”沃尔特提出异议道。“我在这里!董贝小姐在她纯洁、天真的心中,是把我认做她的哥哥的;可是如果我自以为我有权以这种身份放肆地接近她,如果我假装已经忘记我在道义上决不应该那样做的话,那么我的心该是多么的奸诈与有罪呢?”
“沃尔,我的孩子,”船长又露出有些心烦意乱的神色,暗示道,“难道就不能以任何别的身份了吗?”
“啊!”沃尔特回答道,“她这么信任、这么没有保护地到这里来避难,如果我利用这种机会,死乞白赖地向她求爱,成为她的情人的话,那么您是不是想使她不再尊敬我(是她那样的尊敬!),在我本人与她那天使般的脸孔中间永远挂下一块帷幕呢?我该怎么说?如果我能那样做的话,那么世界上没有什么人能比您更严厉地责备我了!”
“沃尔,我的孩子,”船长愈来愈意气消沉地说道,“如果有什么正当的理由或障碍使两个人不能在教堂里结合的话——你可以翻翻书本,找到这句话的时候请做个记号——,我希望我能在结婚预告中通告这一点。这么说,就没有别的身份了吗?难道就没有了吗,我的孩子?”
沃尔特敏捷地挥挥手,作了否定的回答。
“唔,我的孩子,”船长慢吞吞地,用低沉的说道,“我不想否认,我觉得我自己在这件事情上头脑有些糊涂。至于小姑娘夫人,沃尔,你听着,不论我多么失望,我认为尊敬她是我应尽的责任,因此,我跟随在你的后面航行,我的孩子,我觉得你做得很合适。这么说,就没有别的身份了吗?难道就没有了吗?”船长重复问道,一边心灰意冷地面对着他的倒塌了的城堡的废墟沉思着。
“卡特尔船长,”沃尔特用快活一些的神态,换了一个新的话题,使船长高兴起来——可是他太忧虑了,没有什么能使他高兴起来——“当董贝小姐住在这里的时候,我们应该设法找个人来,可以服侍她。这个人是可以信任的。她的亲属一个也不行。毫无疑问,董贝小姐觉得他们都是奉承她的父亲的。苏珊现在怎么样了?”
“那位姑娘吗?”船长回答道,“我相信她已被辞退了。当小姑娘夫人刚到这里来的时候,我发出了一个试探她情况的信号,小姑娘夫人对她的评价是很高的,说她好久以前就走了。”
“如果是这样的话,”沃尔特说道,“那么请您问一问董贝小姐,她到哪里去了,我们将设法把她找到。时间过得很快,董贝小姐不久就要起床了。您是她最好的朋友。请您在楼上等候她,楼下的一切都由我来照料。”
船长确实十分垂头丧气,沃尔特说完话时叹了一口气,船长跟着也叹了一口气,并答应照沃尔特的话去做。弗洛伦斯很喜欢她的新房间,急着想见到沃尔特;当知道今后有可能会见她的老朋友苏珊时,她开心得简直要发狂似的。可是弗洛伦斯说不出苏珊到哪里去了,而只知道她在埃塞克斯;她记得,除了图茨先生一人之外,谁也说不出她到哪里去了。
得到这个消息之后,郁郁不乐的船长回到了沃尔特的身边,并让他了解,图茨先生就是他在门口的台阶上遇见的那位年轻的先生;他是他的一位朋友,自己有一份财产,并毫无希望地迷恋着董贝小姐。船长也谈到原以为沃尔特已经死去的消息怎样使他与图茨先生相识,以及他们两人怎样达成庄严的协议,图茨先生必须闭口不谈他的爱情问题。
接着的问题是,弗洛伦斯是不是能信赖图茨先生;弗洛伦斯笑嘻嘻地说道,“哦,我完全信赖!”,于是打听出图茨先生住在哪里就很重要了。弗洛伦斯不知道这一点,船长则已经忘记了;船长在小客厅里对沃尔特说,图茨先生一定很快就会到这里来的,正在这时候,图茨先生本人进来了。
“吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生不顾什么礼节,跑进客厅里,说道,“我已接近于精神错乱的地步了!”
图茨先生好像是从迫击炮里把这些话打出来似的,在这之后他才注意到沃尔特,并吃吃地笑了一声来打招呼,这笑声可以说是很可怜的。
“请原谅我,先生,”图茨先生抱住前额,说道,“可是我现在如果还没有失去理智的话,那么也正在失去它了;一个处于这种状态中的人如果还想讲究什么礼貌的话,那就是虚伪的嘲弄了。吉尔斯船长,我冒昧地请求您允许我单独跟您谈谈。”
“哎呀,老弟,”船长握住他的手,说道,“你正是我们想要寻找的人。”
“啊,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“我都成了寻找的对象了,那该是什么样的寻找啊!我不敢刮胡子——我是处于这样忙忙乱乱的状态之中。我没有把我的衣服刷过。我的头发蓬乱成一团。我告诉斗鸡,如果他想把我的靴子擦干净的话,那么我就让他死在我面前!”
所有这些精神错乱的症状,从图茨先生那古怪的、野蛮的外貌中也得到了证实。
“看这里,老弟,”船长说道,“这是老所尔•吉尔斯的外甥沃尔,就是那位我们都以为已经在海上死去的人。”
图茨先生把手从前额上拿下来,目不转睛地看着沃尔特。
“我的天哪!”图茨先生结结巴巴地说道,“不幸的事情是多么错综复杂!您好!我——我——我担心您一定浑身湿透了。吉尔斯船长,您允许我在店铺里跟您说一句话吗?”
他抓住船长的外套,跟他出去的时候低声问道:
“这么说,吉尔斯船长,这就是您曾说过,他跟董贝小姐是天造地设的一对那个人吗?”
“唔,是的,我的孩子,”闷闷不乐的船长回答道,“我曾经一度这样想过。”
“偏偏在这个时候!”图茨先生又用手抱住前额,大声喊道,“而不是在其他任何时候!——一个可恨的情敌!”图茨先生重新思索了一下之后,突然停住,把手从前额上拿下来,说道,“至少,他对我来说不是个可恨的情敌;如果我的爱情真正是无私的话,那么我为什么要恨他呢?不!吉尔斯船长,现在让我来证明这一点吧!”
图茨先生突然间又冲进客厅,紧握着沃尔特的手,说道:“您好!我希望您别着凉了!如果您允许我跟您认识的话,那么我——我将感到很高兴。我祝您长命百岁。说实话,我以荣誉发誓,”图茨先生把沃尔特的脸孔与身材好好端详了一番之后,满脸通红地说道,“我很高兴见到您!”
“衷心感谢您,”沃尔特说道,“我不能指望得到比这更真诚、更友好的欢迎了。”
“真的吗?”图茨先生握着他的手,说道,“您真客气。我非常感谢您。您好吗?我希望,您走了以后所有的人都很健康,就是说,——您知道,我的意思是说,不论您最近从哪里来。”
沃尔特以男子汉大丈夫的气概回答了所有这些良好的祝愿和更良好的意愿。
“吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“我希望我能严格地遵守信义,但是我希望您能允许我现在提到某一个话题——”
“可以,可以,我的孩子,”船长回答道,“随便说吧,随便说吧。”
“那么我就说吧,吉尔斯船长和沃尔特斯上尉,”图茨先生说道,“你们可知道,董贝先生家里发生了一桩最可怕的事件:董贝小姐已经离开了她的父亲?在我看来,”图茨先生十分激动地说道,“她的父亲是一头畜牲!如果把他称为一块——一块大理石纪念碑或是一只猛禽,那就是对他的奉承了。
现在找不到她,谁也不知道她到哪里去了。”
“我是不是可以问一下,您怎么听到这个消息的?”沃尔特问道。
“沃尔特斯上尉,”图茨先生说道;他根据只有他自己才明白的独特的理由,采用了这个称呼,可能是把沃尔特的基督教名跟航海职业联系起来的缘故①,同时推测他跟船长有些亲戚关系,于是就自然而然地引伸出他们的职衔来②;“沃尔特斯上尉,我可以直截了当地回答您。事实是,由于我对董贝小姐有关的一切事情都极感兴趣——这决不是出于任何自私自利的原因,沃尔特斯上尉,因为我很清楚,我最能使所有各方都满意的事就是把我这个可以称为障碍的生命结束了——,我习惯于不时给一位仆人送点小费;他是一位品行端正的年轻人,姓托林森,在那个家里已服务很久了;昨天晚上托林森告诉我,事情的状况就是这样。从那时起,吉尔斯船长——和沃尔特斯上尉——我完全疯狂了,整夜躺在沙发上,现在你们看到的就是这个形容枯槁的骨头架子。”
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①在英文中,沃尔特(Walter)与海水(waters),(音译为沃尔特斯)的字形与发音是相似的。
②在英文中,船长(captain)的另一意思为海军上校;图茨先生可能认为沃尔特比卡特尔船长年轻,职称应该低一些,所以称他为上尉。
“图茨先生,”沃尔特说道,“我很高兴能让您放心。请您平静下来。董贝小姐安全无恙。”
“先生!”图茨先生从椅子中跳了起来,喊道,一边重新跟他握手,“这真是个极大的、难以形容的安慰呀;如果您现在就是告诉我董贝小姐已经结婚了,那么我也能微笑了。是的,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生对他说道,“以我的灵魂与肉体发誓,不论在这之后我紧接着会对自己做什么,我确实认为,我能微笑了,我是感到多么安慰啊。”
“您是个胸怀豁达的人,”沃尔特毫不迟疑地回答了他的问候,说道,“当您知道您可以为董贝小姐效劳时,您将会感到更大的安慰与喜悦的。卡特尔船长,劳驾您把图茨先生领到楼上去好吗?”
船长向图茨先生打了招呼,图茨先生露出困惑不解的神色跟随着他,登上这座房屋的顶层;他的向导没有对他说一句预先通知的话,就把他引进弗洛伦斯新的避难处。

  可怜的图茨先生看到她的时候,心中的惊愕与快乐,除了通过放纵的行动之外,是没有别的办法能发泄出来的。他跑到她跟前,握住她的手,吻它,把它放下,又重新握住它,一只膝盖跪在地上,流着眼泪,吃吃地笑着,完全不顾有被戴奥吉尼斯咬伤的危险。戴奥吉尼斯相信在这些行为中对他女主人含有某些敌意,因此就在他的周围转着圈子,仿佛只是决定不了从哪一处进行袭击,但却坚决打定主意给他来一个可怕的伤害。

  “啊,戴,你这条不好的、健忘的狗!亲爱的图茨先生,我多么高兴看到您。”

  “谢谢,”图茨先生说道,“我身体很好,我很感谢您,董贝小姐,我希望您全家人都好。”

  图茨先生说这些话的时候,丝毫也不知道他说的是什么;他在一张椅子中坐下来,目不转睛地看着弗洛伦斯,脸上露出了高兴与绝望正在进行激烈斗争的表情。

  “董贝小姐,”图茨先生气喘吁吁地说道,“吉尔斯船长和沃尔特斯上尉说,我可以为您效点劳。在布赖顿的那一天,我的行为像一个杀死父母的忤逆子,而不像是一个有一笔独立财产的人,”图茨先生严厉地责备自己道,“如果我能消除那天的记忆的话,那么我就可以怀着一丝高兴的心情躺进沉默的坟墓里了。”

  “图茨先生,”弗洛伦斯说道,“请别希望我忘记我们相识过程中的任何事情。请相信我,我永远也不能忘记。您对我来说,总是无限的亲切与善良。”

  “董贝小姐,”图茨先生回答道,“您对我的感情的体谅是您天使般性格的一部分。我感谢您一千次。这是完全无关紧要的。”

  “苏珊离开我的时候,您曾经费神把她送到驿车车站,”弗洛伦斯说道,“我们想要问您的是,您是不是记得她到哪里去了?到哪里可以找到她?”

  “董贝小姐,”图茨先生思索了一会儿,说道,“我已记不清驿车上写着的确切的地名了,可是我记得她说,她不打算在那里停下来,而要继续往前走。不过,董贝小姐,如果您的目的是想要找到她,让她到这里来的话,那么我跟斗鸡将尽快把她领到这里来。我的忠诚与斗鸡杰出的智慧可以保证做到这点。”

  图茨先生看到他有希望成为一位有用的人,非常高兴,重新活跃起来,他的忠诚又毫无疑问是无私和真挚的,因此如果拒绝他那就太残酷了。弗洛伦斯生性审慎细心,不好提出任何异议,但她却情不自禁地对他不断表示万分感谢;图茨先生自豪地接受了交托的任务,立即前去执行。

  “董贝小姐,”图茨先生说道;当他接触到向他伸过来的手时,一种毫无希望的爱情的痛苦明显地突然传播到他的全身,并在他的脸上反映出来,“再见!请允许我冒昧地向您说,您的不幸使我成了一个极为可怜的人,除了吉尔斯船长本人外,您可以最信赖我了。我很明白我自己的短处——它们并不是最无关紧要的,谢谢您——,但我是个完全可以信得过的人,我可以向您保证,董贝小姐。”

  图茨先生说完这些话以后,重新由船长陪伴着,走出了房间;船长刚才站在离开他不远的地方,腋下夹着帽子,同时用钩子梳理着散乱的头发,不是漠不关心地看到了发生的情形。当门在他们后面关上以后,图茨先生的生命的光辉又重新笼罩上了暗影。

  “吉尔斯船长,”那位先生在快到楼梯底的时候站住,回过头来,说道,“向您说句实话,现在我的心情不好,不能怀着完全友好的感情去见沃尔特斯上尉,这种友好感情是我应当希望自己怀有的。我们不能经常支配我们的感情,吉尔斯船长,如果您能让我从便门出去的话,那么我就认为这是您对我的一种特别的恩惠了。”

  “老弟,”船长回答道,“你可以任意确定自己的航线。不论你确定什么航线,我相信它都是光明正大,像海员一样的。”

  “吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“谢谢您的好意。您对我的好评是对我的安慰。有一件事情,”图茨先生站在半开的门的后面的走廊里,说道,“我希望您记住,吉尔斯船长,我还希望您能告诉沃尔特斯上尉。您知道,我现在已完全占有我的财产了,而——而我不知道拿它去干什么。如果我能在金钱方面帮点忙的话,那么我将安心与平静地躺进沉默的坟墓里了。”

  图茨先生没有再说别的话,而是悄悄地溜了出去,并把身后的门关上,使船长无法回答他。

  在他离开以后,弗洛伦斯怀着痛苦与喜悦交错的心情,长久地想着这个善良的人儿。他是那么诚实与热心,重新看到他并确信他在她不幸的处境中仍对她怀着真诚的感情,这是极为难得的快乐与安慰。可是正由于同样的原因,想到她哪怕造成他片刻的痛苦,或稍有一点扰乱他生活的平静的流程,她都感到十分烦恼,因此她的眼睛里饱含着泪水,她的心里充满了怜悯。卡特尔船长也以不同的方式长时间地想着图茨先生;沃尔特也一样;当晚上来临,他们全都坐在弗洛伦斯的新房间里的时候,沃尔特极为热烈地称赞他,并把他将离开住宅前所讲的话告诉了弗洛伦斯;他怀着诚实与同情的心情评论他与称赞他的时候,端庄大方,十分得体。

  图茨先生第二天没有回来,第三天没有回来,在以后的好几天中也没有回来;在这同时,弗洛伦斯像一只笼中安静的鸟儿一样,住在老仪器制造商家中的顶楼里,没有任何新的惊吓。可是日子一天天过去,弗洛伦斯愈来愈明显地意气消沉并低垂着头;她时常从她高高的窗子中探望天空,这时在她脸上出现了死去的男孩子的那种表情,仿佛她正在从那条光明的海岸上寻找他的天使,这条光明的海岸是他躺在小床上的时候说到过的。

  弗洛伦斯最近虚弱易病,她所经受的激动对她的健康不是没有影响。可是现在影响她的不是身体上的疾病。她是心中痛苦。她痛苦的原因是沃尔特。

  他关心她,渴望见到她,以能为她服务而感到自豪和快乐,并以他性格所特有的热情与兴奋显示这一切,但是弗洛伦斯看到他在回避她。在长长的一天中,他很少走近她的房间。如果她喊他到她那里去,他来了。在片刻之间他恳切、欣喜,又像她所记得的,她童年时代在喧嚣的街道中迷路时他所表现的那样;可是他很快就变得拘束和不自在。——她那敏锐的、满怀深情的眼睛不能不注意到这一点——,而且不久就离开她了。如果她不喊他的话,那么他就从早到晚,整整一天都不来。可是到了晚上,他总是在那里;这是她最幸福的时刻,因为那时候她几乎相信,她童年时代所知道的过去的沃尔特并没有改变。可是甚至就是在这时候,微不足道的片言只语、一道眼光或一个什么情况都会向她表明,在他们之间存在着一条难以说明的不可逾越的界线。

  她不能不看到,沃尔特尽管尽了最大的努力去掩盖他这种很大的变化,但它却是掩盖不了的。她想,他出于对她的关怀,真诚地不愿意用他的亲切的手给她带来创伤,就求助于无数小小的巧计和伪装。弗洛伦斯愈感觉到他的变化大,她就愈经常为她哥哥的这种疏远哭泣。

  弗洛伦斯觉得,善良的船长——她的不知疲倦的、亲切的、永远热心的朋友——也看到了这种情形,并感到苦恼。他不像最初的时候那么快活与充满希望了;当晚上他们三个人坐在一起的时候,他总是脸色愁闷地悄悄地一会儿望望她,一会儿望望沃尔特。

  弗洛伦斯终于决定跟沃尔特谈谈。她觉得,她现在知道了他疏远的原因。如果她告诉他,她已看出这一点,她已甘心忍受这一点,而且不责备他的话,那么她就会感到宽慰,并会使他比较安心的。

  这是一个星期天的下午,弗洛伦斯下定了这个决心。忠实的船长敞开惊人大的衬衫领子,坐在她身旁,戴着眼镜在念书,她问他沃尔特在哪里。

  “我想他在楼下,我的小姑娘夫人,”船长回答道。

  “我想跟他谈谈,”弗洛伦斯说道,一边急忙站起来,准备下楼去。

  “我喊他立刻到这里来,美人儿,”船长说道。

  于是船长敏捷地把书扛在肩上,离开了。——他认为在星期天不读别的,只读很大本的书,是他的责任,因为这种书有更为庄严的外表;几年前他从一个书摊上讨价还价,买来一本极大的书,其中任何五行都使他莫名其妙,因此他至今还不明白这本书的主题是论述什么的。——沃尔特立刻上来了。

  “卡特尔船长告诉我,董贝小姐——”他走进来的时候热心地开始说道,但是看到她的脸就停住了。

  “您今天不怎么舒服。您看去心里痛苦。您一直在哭。”

  他说得十分亲切,十分热情地颤抖着,因此她一听到他的,眼中就涌出了泪水。

  “沃尔特,”弗洛伦斯温柔地说道,“我不怎么舒服,我一直在哭。我想跟你谈谈。”

  他在她的对面坐下,看着她的美丽的、天真的脸,他自己的脸色也变得苍白了,他的嘴唇颤抖了。

  “在我知道你得救的那天夜里,你说——啊,亲爱的沃尔特,那天夜里我心里是什么样的感情,我是抱着什么样的希望啊!”——

  他把颤抖的手放在他们中间的桌子上,坐在那里看着她。

  “你说我变了。我听到你这么说感到惊奇,但是现在我明白了,我确实是变了。请别对我生气,沃尔特。当时我太高兴了,顾不得想到这点。”

  她对他似乎又像是个小孩子。他看见和听见的是一个直率的、信任的、可爱的孩子,而不是他愿意把全世界的财富都堆放在她脚边的亲爱的女人。

  “沃尔特,你还记得在你离别前我见到你的那一次的情形吗?”

  他把手伸进怀里取出一个小钱袋。

  “我一直把它挂在脖子上!如果我沉没了的话,那么它将跟我一起躺在海底。”

  “你是不是将为了我继续挂着它呢,沃尔特?”

  “一直挂到我死去为止!”

  她把手放在他的手里是那么毫不害怕,那么纯朴,仿佛自从她把这个小小的纪念品送给他以后,一天也没有过去似的。

  “我很高兴听到你这么说。我将经常高兴地想到这一点,沃尔特。你可记得,就在我们在一起谈话的那个晚上,我们两个人脑子里似乎都同时想到了这种变化吗?”

  “不,没有想到!”他用诧异的语调回答道。

  “想到了,沃尔特。甚至就是在那时候,我也成了损害你的希望与前途的人①。那时候我害怕这样想,但我现在认识到这一点了。如果那时候你出于仁厚宽大的胸怀,能够向我隐瞒你也知道这一点的话,那么现在你不能这样做了,虽然你还是像先前一样仁厚宽大地想要这样做。是的,你是想这样做的。我深切地、真诚地感谢你,沃尔特,但是你不能取得成功。你为你本人和你最亲近的亲属的苦难备尝辛酸,因此你不能看不到那降临到你头上的危险与痛苦是由那无辜的原因所造成的,你不能完全忘记我在其中扮演的角色,我们不能再成为哥哥和妹妹了。可是,亲爱的沃尔特,你不要以为我在这方面责怪你。我本可以知道这一点——我应当知道这一点——可是我当时在高兴之中忘记这一点了。我现在有一个希望,就是,当这种感情已不再成为秘密以后。你想到我的时候可以不像以前那样感到厌烦;我以曾经一度是你的妹妹的那个可怜的孩子的名义向你只提出一个请求,就是,沃尔特,既然现在我全都知道了,那么你就不要再进行内心的斗争了,不要再为我苦恼了。”

  --------

  ①指董贝先生厌恶沃尔特喜爱弗洛伦斯,因此把他派往巴巴多斯,弗洛伦斯成了沃尔特日后遭难的原因。

  当她说这些话的时候,沃尔特看着她,脸上露出无比诧异与惊愕的表情,除此之外就没有任何其他的表情了。然后他拉起那只苦苦哀求地摸着他的手,把它握在他的两手中间。

  “啊,董贝小姐,”他说道,“当我正在与我对您应有的和应尽的责任进行斗争、因而内心十分痛苦的时候,我却使您受着你刚才向我透露的痛苦,难道这是可能的吗?苍天在上,我敢向着它发誓,我每想到您,您永远像我童年时代和少年时代记忆中那么单纯、聪明、纯洁、可爱。自始至终,我永远把您在我生活中所起的作用看成是某种神圣的、永远也不会被忽视、永远也不会被尊敬得过分、在我死去之前永远也不会被忘记的东西。重新看到您的眼睛,听到您的,就像我们分离的那天晚上一样,对我来说,这是难以用言语表达的幸福。被您当作您的哥哥爱着和信任着,这是我能得到的第二份最大的礼物和奖赏。”

  “沃尔特,”弗洛伦斯说道,一边恳切地看着他,但是脸上的神色正在改变,“什么是你对我应有的和应尽的责任感,使你作出了这么大的牺牲呢?”

  “尊敬,”沃尔特低声说道。“尊重。”

  她的脸上泛起一片红晕;她胆怯地、沉思地把手缩回去,但仍旧同样恳切地看着他。

  “我没有当哥哥的权利,”沃尔特说道,“我没有当哥哥的奢求。我离开的时候留下了一个女孩子,我回来的时候遇见了一位妇女。”

  她满脸通红。她作了个手势,仿佛请求他别再说了,同时脸低垂到手上。

  两人沉默了一些时间;她在哭着。

  “在一颗这样信任、纯洁和善良的心的面前,我的责任迫使我和它分离,哪怕这会撕裂我自己的心也罢。我怎么敢说这是我妹妹的心呢?”

  她依旧哭着。

  “如果您曾经是幸福的,周围都是对您钟情的、爱慕的朋友们,周围的一切都使您生来就有的地位引人羡慕,就像本该如此的一样,”沃尔特说道,“在这样的情况下如果那时候您在亲切地回忆往事的时候喊我哥哥的话,那么我就会从我疏远的地位回答您的称呼,心中决不会感到我这样做是在不正当地对待您的真诚无邪的感情的,可是在这里——在现在这种时候!”——

  “啊,谢谢你,谢谢你,沃尔特!请原谅我刚才大大地曲解了你的心意。没有什么人可以指教我。我十分孤独啊。”

  “弗洛伦斯!”沃尔特热情洋溢地说道,“现在我性急地向您说一说几分钟以前任何力量也不能迫使我说出的话。如果我飞黄腾达,万事如意的话,如果我有办法或有希望有朝一日使您恢复您过去的地位的话,那么那时候我就会对您说,您可以用一个名称来称呼我,——也就是说,您可以授予我一种可以保护您、珍爱您的至高无上的权利;我还会对您说,我之所以值得享有这种权利,只是由于我对您怀着爱与尊敬,只是由于我整个的心都是属于您的。那时候我就会对您说,这是您能给予我,使我能爱护您和保卫您的唯一的权利,这也是我敢于接受、敢于维护的权利;可是如果我有了那种权利的话,那么我就会认为它是一种多么宝贵、多么难得的信任,因此我只有奉献出我生命的全部忠诚与热忱,才能略略表示我对它的微薄的答谢。”

  头依旧低垂着,眼泪依旧流淌着,胸脯由于哭泣而起伏着。

  “亲爱的弗洛伦斯!最最亲爱的弗洛伦斯!我曾经在心中这样默默地喊着您,而没有考虑过这样是多么放肆与荒唐。请允许我最后一次用您的这个亲爱的名字喊您,并摸摸您这温柔的手,以表示您已像妹妹一般忘记了我刚才所说的话了吧。”

  她抬起头来和他说话,她的眼光十分庄重,亲切;她的含着眼泪的微笑十分平静,明朗、温和;她的身子和十分缓慢地、温柔地颤抖着;因此,当他听她说话的时候,他最深处的心弦被触动了,他的眼睛模糊不清了。

  “不,沃尔特,我不能忘记你刚才说过的话,我无论如何也不愿意忘记它。你——你很穷吗?”

  “我只不过是个流浪者,”沃尔特说道,“必须在海上航行来谋生。这就是我现在的职业。”

  “你不久又要离开这里了吗,沃尔特?”

  “很快了。”

  她坐着看了他一会儿,然后怯生生地把颤抖的手伸进他的手里。

  “如果你愿意娶我做你的妻子,沃尔特,那么我将热烈地爱你。如果你愿意让我跟你一起走,沃尔特,那么我将毫无畏惧地跟随你走到天涯海角。为了你我没有什么需要牺牲,——没有什么东西需要丢弃,没有什么人需要抛开。可是我全部的爱,我全部的生命都将贡献给你。在我临终还只有最后一口气的时候,只要我还保存着知觉与记忆的话,那么我也要向上帝提到你的名字。”

  他把她紧抱在胸怀里,把她的脸颊紧贴着他的脸。这时候她不再被人摒弃,不再孤独无助,于是就伏在她的亲爱的情人的胸上尽情地哭着。

  令人愉快的星期天的钟声啊,在他们的神魂颠倒的、快乐幸福的耳朵中听起来是多么柔和!令人愉快的星期天的安宁与恬静啊,与他们平静的心灵是多么和谐一致,并使他们四周的空气变得多么圣洁!令人愉快的薄暮悄悄地来临了,当她像被催眠的孩子一样,在她恋恋不舍的胸脯上睡着了的时候,它是那么抚慰地、庄严地笼罩着她!

  啊,爱情与信任的负担是多么轻松地躺在那里!是的,沃尔特怀着自豪与温柔的感情,低头注视着这两只闭上的眼睛,因为在这辽阔的世界上,它们现在寻找的只是你呀——只是你呀!

  船长留在小客厅里,直到天色很黑的时候。他坐在沃尔特刚才坐过的椅子中,仰望着天窗,直到白天逐渐消逝,星星向下窥视的时候。他点亮了一支蜡烛,点着了烟斗,抽着烟,心中觉得奇怪:楼上发生了什么事,为什么他们还没有喊他去喝茶。

  当他的奇怪达到顶点的时候,弗洛伦斯来到他的身边。

  “啊!小姑娘夫人!”船长喊道。“您跟沃尔谈得好长久啊,我的美人儿。”

  弗洛伦斯用她的小手抓住他的外衣上的大钮扣中的一个,俯视着他的脸,说道:

  “亲爱的船长,我想告诉您一些事,如果您愿意的话。”

  船长十分敏捷地抬起头来,想听听是什么事。他把椅子往后推开,他自己也跟它一起尽量往后退,这样可以更清楚地看到弗洛伦斯的脸。

  “怎么!心的喜悦!”船长立刻兴高采烈地喊道。“这是真的吗?”

  “是的!”弗洛伦斯热情洋溢地回答道。

  “沃尔!丈夫!是吗?”船长大声喊叫道,一边把他的上了光的帽子抛向天窗。

  “是的!”弗洛伦斯喊道,她又是笑又是哭。

  船长立刻紧紧地拥抱了她;然后,接住上了光的帽子,戴到头上,用胳膊挽着她的胳膊,又护送她到楼上;到了那里,他觉得现在他应该大大地开一下玩笑了。

  “怎么,沃尔,我的孩子!”船长在门口往房间里探望道,这时他的脸像是一只烧红了的火盆一样,十分可爱。“这么说,就没有别的身份了吗,是不是?”

  他好像由于这句打趣的话要喘不过气来似的,在喝茶的时间中,把它至少重复说了四十次,同时用外衣袖子擦着他容光焕发的脸孔,不时又用手绢擦头。可是在这时候他又找到了一个更庄重的开心逗乐的源泉,因为当他怀着难以形容的高兴望着沃尔特与弗洛伦斯的时候,他多次小声地重复说道:

  “爱德华·卡特尔,我的孩子,当你把那笔小小的财产转交给他们共同使用时,你是选择了你这一生中最好的一条航线啊!”

慕若涵

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爱就像蓝天白云,晴空万里,突然暴风雨!
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Chapter 51
Mr Dombey and the World
What is the proud man doing, while the days go by? Does he ever think of his daughter, or wonder where she is gone? Does he suppose she has come home, and is leading her old life in the weary house? No one can answer for him. He has never uttered her name, since. His household dread him too much to approach a subject on which he is resolutely dumb; and the only person who dares question him, he silences immediately.
'My dear Paul!' murmurs his sister, sidling into the room, on the day of Florence's departure, 'your wife! that upstart woman! Is it possible that what I hear confusedly, is true, and that this is her return for your unparalleled devotion to her; extending, I am sure, even to the sacrifice of your own relations, to her caprices and haughtiness? My poor brother!'
With this speech feelingly reminiscent of her not having been asked to dinner on the day of the first party, Mrs Chick makes great use of her pocket-handkerchief, and falls on Mr Dombey's neck. But Mr Dombey frigidly lifts her off, and hands her to a chair.
'I thank you, Louisa,' he says, 'for this mark of your affection; but desire that our conversation may refer to any other subject. When I bewail my fate, Louisa, or express myself as being in want of consolation, you can offer it, if you will have the goodness.'
'My dear Paul,' rejoins his sister, with her handkerchief to her face, and shaking her head, 'I know your great spirit, and will say no more upon a theme so painful and revolting;' on the heads of which two adjectives, Mrs Chick visits scathing indignation; 'but pray let me ask you - though I dread to hear something that will shock and distress me - that unfortunate child Florence -
'Louisa!' says her brother, sternly, 'silence! Not another word of this!'
Mrs Chick can only shake her head, and use her handkerchief, and moan over degenerate Dombeys, who are no Dombeys. But whether Florence has been inculpated in the flight of Edith, or has followed her, or has done too much, or too little, or anything, or nothing, she has not the least idea.
He goes on, without deviation, keeping his thoughts and feelings close within his own breast, and imparting them to no one. He makes no search for his daughter. He may think that she is with his sister, or that she is under his own roof. He may think of her constantly, or he may never think about her. It is all one for any sign he makes.
But this is sure; he does not think that he has lost her. He has no suspicion of the truth. He has lived too long shut up in his towering supremacy, seeing her, a patient gentle creature, in the path below it, to have any fear of that. Shaken as he is by his disgrace, he is not yet humbled to the level earth. The root is broad and deep, and in the course of years its fibres have spread out and gathered nourishment from everything around it. The tree is struck, but not down.
Though he hide the world within him from the world without - which he believes has but one purpose for the time, and that, to watch him eagerly wherever he goes - he cannot hide those rebel traces of it, which escape in hollow eyes and cheeks, a haggard forehead, and a moody, brooding air. Impenetrable as before, he is still an altered man; and, proud as ever, he is humbled, or those marks would not be there.
The world. What the world thinks of him, how it looks at him, what it sees in him, and what it says - this is the haunting demon of his mind. It is everywhere where he is; and, worse than that, it is everywhere where he is not. It comes out with him among his servants, and yet he leaves it whispering behind; he sees it pointing after him in the street; it is waiting for him in his counting-house; it leers over the shoulders of rich men among the merchants; it goes beckoning and babbling among the crowd; it always anticipates him, in every place; and is always busiest, he knows, when he has gone away. When he is shut up in his room at night, it is in his house, outside it, audible in footsteps on the pavement, visible in print upon the table, steaming to and fro on railroads and in ships; restless and busy everywhere, with nothing else but him.
It is not a phantom of his imagination. It is as active in other people's minds as in his. Witness Cousin Feenix, who comes from Baden-Baden, purposely to talk to him. Witness Major Bagstock, who accompanies Cousin Feenix on that friendly mission.
Mr Dombey receives them with his usual dignity, and stands erect, in his old attitude, before the fire. He feels that the world is looking at him out of their eyes. That it is in the stare of the pictures. That Mr Pitt, upon the bookcase, represents it. That there are eyes in its own map, hanging on the wall.
'An unusually cold spring,' says Mr Dombey - to deceive the world.
'Damme, Sir,' says the Major, in the warmth of friendship, 'Joseph Bagstock is a bad hand at a counterfeit. If you want to hold your friends off, Dombey, and to give them the cold shoulder, J. B. is not the man for your purpose. Joe is rough and tough, Sir; blunt, Sir, blunt, is Joe. His Royal Highness the late Duke of York did me the honour to say, deservedly or undeservedly - never mind that - "If there is a man in the service on whom I can depend for coming to the point, that man is Joe - Joe Bagstock."'
Mr Dombey intimates his acquiescence.
'Now, Dombey,' says the Major, 'I am a man of the world. Our friend Feenix - if I may presume to - '
'Honoured, I am sure,' says Cousin Feenix.
' - is,' proceeds the Major, with a wag of his head, 'also a man of the world. Dombey, you are a man of the world. Now, when three men of the world meet together, and are friends - as I believe - ' again appealing to Cousin Feenix.
'I am sure,' says Cousin Feenix, 'most friendly.'
' - and are friends,' resumes the Major, 'Old Joe's opinion is (I may be wrong), that the opinion of the world on any particular subject, is very easily got at.
'Undoubtedly,' says Cousin Feenix. 'In point of fact, it's quite a self-evident sort of thing. I am extremely anxious, Major, that my friend Dombey should hear me express my very great astonishment and regret, that my lovely and accomplished relative, who was possessed of every qualification to make a man happy, should have so far forgotten what was due to - in point of fact, to the world - as to commit herself in such a very extraordinary manner. I have been in a devilish state of depression ever since; and said indeed to Long Saxby last night - man of six foot ten, with whom my friend Dombey is probably acquainted - that it had upset me in a confounded way, and made me bilious. It induces a man to reflect, this kind of fatal catastrophe,' says Cousin Feenix, 'that events do occur in quite a providential manner; for if my Aunt had been living at the time, I think the effect upon a devilish lively woman like herself, would have been prostration, and that she would have fallen, in point of fact, a victim.'
'Now, Dombey! - ' says the Major, resuming his discourse with great energy.
'I beg your pardon,' interposes Cousin Feenix. 'Allow me another word. My friend Dombey will permit me to say, that if any circumstance could have added to the most infernal state of pain in which I find myself on this occasion, it would be the natural amazement of the world at my lovely and accomplished relative (as I must still beg leave to call her) being supposed to have so committed herself with a person - man with white teeth, in point of fact - of very inferior station to her husband. But while I must, rather peremptorily, request my friend Dombey not to criminate my lovely and accomplished relative until her criminality is perfectly established, I beg to assure my friend Dombey that the family I represent, and which is now almost extinct (devilish sad reflection for a man), will interpose no obstacle in his way, and will be happy to assent to any honourable course of proceeding, with a view to the future, that he may point out. I trust my friend Dombey will give me credit for the intentions by which I am animated in this very melancholy affair, and - a - in point of fact, I am not aware that I need trouble my friend Dombey with any further observations.'
Mr Dombey bows, without raising his eyes, and is silent.
'Now, Dombey,' says the Major, 'our friend Feenix having, with an amount of eloquence that Old Joe B. has never heard surpassed - no, by the Lord, Sir! never!' - says the Major, very blue, indeed, and grasping his cane in the middle - 'stated the case as regards the lady, I shall presume upon our friendship, Dombey, to offer a word on another aspect of it. Sir,' says the Major, with the horse's cough, 'the world in these things has opinions, which must be satisfied.'
'I know it,' rejoins Mr Dombey.
'Of course you know it, Dombey,' says the Major, 'Damme, Sir, I know you know it. A man of your calibre is not likely to be ignorant of it.'
'I hope not,' replies Mr Dombey.
'Dombey!' says the Major, 'you will guess the rest. I speak out - prematurely, perhaps - because the Bagstock breed have always spoke out. Little, Sir, have they ever got by doing it; but it's in the Bagstock blood. A shot is to be taken at this man. You have J. B. at your elbow. He claims the name of friend. God bless you!'
'Major,' returns Mr Dombey, 'I am obliged. I shall put myself in your hands when the time comes. The time not being come, I have forborne to speak to you.'
'Where is the fellow, Dombey?' inquires the Major, after gasping and looking at him, for a minute.
'I don't know.'
'Any intelligence of him?' asks the Major.
'Yes.'
'Dombey, I am rejoiced to hear it,' says the Major. 'I congratulate you.'
'You will excuse - even you, Major,' replies Mr Dombey, 'my entering into any further detail at present. The intelligence is of a singular kind, and singularly obtained. It may turn out to be valueless; it may turn out to be true; I cannot say at present. My explanation must stop here.'
Although this is but a dry reply to the Major's purple enthusiasm, the Major receives it graciously, and is delighted to think that the world has such a fair prospect of soon receiving its due. Cousin Feenix is then presented with his meed of acknowledgment by the husband of his lovely and accomplished relative, and Cousin Feenix and Major Bagstock retire, leaving that husband to the world again, and to ponder at leisure on their representation of its state of mind concerning his affairs, and on its just and reasonable expectations.
But who sits in the housekeeper's room, shedding tears, and talking to Mrs Pipchin in a low tone, with uplifted hands? It is a lady with her face concealed in a very close black bonnet, which appears not to belong to her. It is Miss Tox, who has borrowed this disguise from her servant, and comes from Princess's Place, thus secretly, to revive her old acquaintance with Mrs Pipchin, in order to get certain information of the state of Mr Dombey.
'How does he bear it, my dear creature?' asks Miss Tox.
'Well,' says Mrs Pipchin, in her snappish way, 'he's pretty much as usual.'
'Externally,' suggests Miss Tox 'But what he feels within!'
Mrs Pipchin's hard grey eye looks doubtful as she answers, in three distinct jerks, 'Ah! Perhaps. I suppose so.'
'To tell you my mind, Lucretia,' says Mrs Pipchin; she still calls Miss Tox Lucretia, on account of having made her first experiments in the child-quelling line of business on that lady, when an unfortunate and weazen little girl of tender years; 'to tell you my mind, Lucretia, I think it's a good riddance. I don't want any of your brazen faces here, myself!'
'Brazen indeed! Well may you say brazen, Mrs Pipchin!' returned Miss Tox. 'To leave him! Such a noble figure of a man!' And here Miss Tox is overcome.
'I don't know about noble, I'm sure,' observes Mrs Pipchin; irascibly rubbing her nose. 'But I know this - that when people meet with trials, they must bear 'em. Hoity, toity! I have had enough to bear myself, in my time! What a fuss there is! She's gone, and well got rid of. Nobody wants her back, I should think!' This hint of the Peruvian Mines, causes Miss Tox to rise to go away; when Mrs Pipchin rings the bell for Towlinson to show her out, Mr Towlinson, not having seen Miss Tox for ages, grins, and hopes she's well; observing that he didn't know her at first, in that bonnet.
'Pretty well, Towlinson, I thank you,' says Miss Tox. 'I beg you'll have the goodness, when you happen to see me here, not to mention it. My visits are merely to Mrs Pipchin.'
'Very good, Miss,' says Towlinson.
'Shocking circumstances occur, Towlinson,' says Miss Tox.
'Very much so indeed, Miss,' rejoins Towlinson.
'I hope, Towlinson,' says Miss Tox, who, in her instruction of the Toodle family, has acquired an admonitorial tone, and a habit of improving passing occasions, 'that what has happened here, will be a warning to you, Towlinson.'
'Thank you, Miss, I'm sure,' says Towlinson.
He appears to be falling into a consideration of the manner in which this warning ought to operate in his particular case, when the vinegary Mrs Pipchin, suddenly stirring him up with a 'What are you doing? Why don't you show the lady to the door?' he ushers Miss Tox forth. As she passes Mr Dombey's room, she shrinks into the inmost depths of the black bonnet, and walks, on tip-toe; and there is not another atom in the world which haunts him so, that feels such sorrow and solicitude about him, as Miss Tox takes out under the black bonnet into the street, and tries to carry home shadowed it from the newly-lighted lamps
But Miss Tox is not a part of Mr Dombey's world. She comes back every evening at dusk; adding clogs and an umbrella to the bonnet on wet nights; and bears the grins of Towlinson, and the huffs and rebuffs of Mrs Pipchin, and all to ask how he does, and how he bears his misfortune: but she has nothing to do with Mr Dombey's world. Exacting and harassing as ever, it goes on without her; and she, a by no means bright or particular star, moves in her little orbit in the corner of another system, and knows it quite well, and comes, and cries, and goes away, and is satisfied. Verily Miss Tox is easier of satisfaction than the world that troubles Mr Dombey so much!
At the Counting House, the clerks discuss the great disaster in all its lights and shades, but chiefly wonder who will get Mr Carker's place. They are generally of opinion that it will be shorn of some of its emoluments, and made uncomfortable by newly-devised checks and restrictions; and those who are beyond all hope of it are quite sure they would rather not have it, and don't at all envy the person for whom it may prove to be reserved. Nothing like the prevailing sensation has existed in the Counting House since Mr Dombey's little son died; but all such excitements there take a social, not to say a jovial turn, and lead to the cultivation of good fellowship. A reconciliation is established on this propitious occasion between the acknowledged wit of the Counting House and an aspiring rival, with whom he has been at deadly feud for months; and a little dinner being proposed, in commemoration of their happily restored amity, takes place at a neighbouring tavern; the wit in the chair; the rival acting as Vice-President. The orations following the removal of the cloth are opened by the Chair, who says, Gentlemen, he can't disguise from himself that this is not a time for private dissensions. Recent occurrences to which he need not more particularly allude, but which have not been altogether without notice in some Sunday Papers,' and in a daily paper which he need not name (here every other member of the company names it in an audible murmur), have caused him to reflect; and he feels that for him and Robinson to have any personal differences at such a moment, would be for ever to deny that good feeling in the general cause, for which he has reason to think and hope that the gentlemen in Dombey's House have always been distinguished. Robinson replies to this like a man and a brother; and one gentleman who has been in the office three years, under continual notice to quit on account of lapses in his arithmetic, appears in a perfectly new light, suddenly bursting out with a thrilling speech, in which he says, May their respected chief never again know the desolation which has fallen on his hearth! and says a great variety of things, beginning with 'May he never again,' which are received with thunders of applause. In short, a most delightful evening is passed, only interrupted by a difference between two juniors, who, quarrelling about the probable amount of Mr Carker's late receipts per annum, defy each other with decanters, and are taken out greatly excited. Soda water is in general request at the office next day, and most of the party deem the bill an imposition.
As to Perch, the messenger, he is in a fair way of being ruined for life. He finds himself again constantly in bars of public-houses, being treated and lying dreadfully. It appears that he met everybody concerned in the late transaction, everywhere, and said to them, 'Sir,' or 'Madam,' as the case was, 'why do you look so pale?' at which each shuddered from head to foot, and said, 'Oh, Perch!' and ran away. Either the consciousness of these enormities, or the reaction consequent on liquor, reduces Mr Perch to an extreme state of low spirits at that hour of the evening when he usually seeks consolation in the society of Mrs Perch at Balls Pond; and Mrs Perch frets a good deal, for she fears his confidence in woman is shaken now, and that he half expects on coming home at night to find her gone off with some Viscount - 'which,' as she observes to an intimate female friend, 'is what these wretches in the form of woman have to answer for, Mrs P. It ain't the harm they do themselves so much as what they reflect upon us, Ma'am; and I see it in Perch's eye.
Mr Dombey's servants are becoming, at the same time, quite dissipated, and unfit for other service. They have hot suppers every night, and 'talk it over' with smoking drinks upon the board. Mr Towlinson is always maudlin after half-past ten, and frequently begs to know whether he didn't say that no good would ever come of living in a corner house? They whisper about Miss Florence, and wonder where she is; but agree that if Mr Dombey don't know, Mrs Dombey does. This brings them to the latter, of whom Cook says, She had a stately way though, hadn't she? But she was too high! They all agree that she was too high, and Mr Towlinson's old flame, the housemaid (who is very virtuous), entreats that you will never talk to her any more about people who hold their heads up, as if the ground wasn't good enough for 'em.
Everything that is said and done about it, except by Mr Dombey, is done in chorus. Mr Dombey and the world are alone together.
日子一天天地过去,这位高傲的人在做些什么呢?他曾想到他的女儿吗?或曾感到奇怪,她到哪里去了吗?是不是他以为她已回到家里,在这枯燥无趣的公馆中,像过去一样过着她的生活呢?没有人能替他回答。从那时候起,他从来没有提到过她的名字。他家里的人太害怕他了,不敢向他提起一个他坚决不谈的话题,而唯一敢问他的人,他又立即使她沉默下来。
“我亲爱的保罗!”他的妹妹在弗洛伦斯逃走的那一天,侧身走进他的房间,低声问道,“你的妻子!那位暴发的女人!我听到的那些传说纷纭的消息难道可能是真的吗?你对她无比真诚;毫无疑问,为了迁就她的任性与高傲,你甚至不惜牺牲自己的亲属;难道这就是她对你的报答吗?我可怜的哥哥!”
奇克夫人说了这些话,伤心地回忆起在举行第一次晚会的那天她没有被邀请参加宴会,不断使用她的手绢,并扑到董贝先生的脖子上。但是董贝先生冷淡地推开她,让她在椅子中坐下。
“谢谢你所表示的感情,路易莎,”他说道,“但是我希望我们能转到其他的话题上去。以后当我为我的命运痛哭或者表示需要安慰的时候,路易莎,那时如果你肯费心的话,那么你可以再来安慰我。”
“我亲爱的保罗,”他的妹妹用手绢捂着脸,摇摇头,回答道,“我知道你的伟大的精神力量,我将不再谈一个令人如此痛苦和厌恶的话题,”奇克夫人极为愤慨地说出这两个形容词,“可是请允许我问你一下——虽然我害怕会听到使我震惊和痛苦的消息——,那个不幸的孩子弗洛伦斯——”
“路易莎!”她的哥哥严厉地说道,“别说了。一个字也别谈这个!”
奇克夫人只好摇摇头,使用她的手绢,并为董贝家里这些退化了的人叹息,她们已不再能称得上是董贝家里的人了。但是弗洛伦斯在伊迪丝的私奔中究竟是不是有罪,是不是跟随着她逃走了,在这次逃走的事件中她是参与得太多还是参与得太少,是多少参与了一点还是根本没有参与,奇克夫人却丝毫不了解。
他丝毫没有改变,依旧像过去一样,把他的思想与感情掩藏在自己心中,不向任何人透露。他没有寻找他的女儿。也许他以为她跟他的妹妹住在一起,或者她就住在他自己的家中。也许他经常想到她,也许他从来没有想到过她。如果从他表露的迹象来判断,所有这些设想都是对的。
不过有一点是确实的:他•没•有想到他已失去了她。他没有怀疑过这一事实。他对周围的事情不闻不问,在高高在上、至尊至贵的地位中生活得太久了,他看到的她是在他下面的一条小路上的一个耐性的、温柔的人儿,所以他一点也不曾害怕会失去她。他虽然由于丧失体面而受到了震动,但还没有被推翻到地上。树根又粗又深,在长久的岁月中它的须根伸展开来,从四周的一切东西中吸取了营养。树受到了打击,但没有倒下。
虽然他把他内心的世界掩藏起来,不让外面的社会看见——他相信,外面的社会现在只有一个目的:不论他走到哪里,它都急切地注视着他——,但是他却不能掩藏他在内心世界所进行的斗争,因为他那凹陷的眼睛与双颊、露出皱纹的前额、怏怏不乐的沉思的神态都表明了这一点。虽然他像以前一样使人看不透,但他还是改变了;虽然他像往常一样高傲,但他的锐气还是受到了挫折,否则那些痕迹就不会留下来了。
社会。社会对他想些什么,它怎样看他,它在他身上看到了什么,它议论些什么,——这是经常缠扰他心绪的恶魔。在他所在的一切地方,它都在那里;不仅如此,甚至在他不在的一切地方,它也在那里。它和他一起出现在仆人中间;在他离开的时候,它还和他们一起在背后窃窃私语;他看到它在街道上指点他;它在他的营业所里等待着他;它从有钱的商人转过身来的时候斜眼看着他;它在人群中间招手示意并喋喋不休地谈论着;它在每个地方总比他抢先一步;当他走开以后,他知道它总是极为忙碌的。夜间当他把自己关在房间里的时候,它就在他的公馆里面和公馆外面,可以从人行道上的脚步声中听到它,可以从桌子上的报纸中看到它,它沿着铁路线和乘坐在船舶上来来往往;它在每个地方都不眠不休,忙碌不停,不为其他事情,只是为了他。
这不是他想象的幻影。它在其他人们的心中就像在他的心中一样活跃。从巴登一巴登专程前来跟他谈话的菲尼克斯表哥是一个见证人。陪同菲尼克斯表哥来完成这一友好任务的白格斯托克少校也是一个见证人。
董贝先生以他往常的尊严态度接待了他们,并采取他往常的姿势,笔直地站在壁炉前面。他觉得,社会正通过他们的眼睛在看着他。他觉得,它存在于四周图画的注视中。书橱上的皮特先生是它的代表。他觉得,甚至挂在墙上的地图中也有它的眼睛。
“今年春天格外冷,”董贝先生说道,——这是为了欺骗社会。
“他妈的,先生,”少校怀着热情的友谊说道,“约瑟夫•白格斯托克最不会装假。如果您想要避开您的朋友们的话,那么乔•白不是适合于您的目的的人,董贝。乔是粗鲁和坚强的,先生;他是个直肠直肚的人,直肠直肚是乔的性格;已故的约克郡公爵殿下使我不胜荣幸地指出过(我配受或不配受这种光荣,这倒无关紧要),‘我手下这些在职的人当中,如果有一位我可以信赖他能直言不讳的话,那么这个人就是乔——乔•白格斯托克’。”
董贝先生表示同意。
“董贝,”少校说道,“我是个上流社会的人物。我们的朋友菲尼克斯——如果我可以冒昧地这样称呼他的话——”
“不胜荣幸,”菲尼克斯表哥说道。
“也是个上流社会的人物,”少校摇晃了一下脑袋,继续说道,“董贝,您是个上流社会的人物。如果三位上流社会的人物聚会在一起,而且是朋友——就像我相信的那样”——
他又转向菲尼克斯表哥,向他求助。
“毫无疑问,”菲尼克斯表哥说道,“极为友好。”
“——而且是朋友,”少校继续说道,“那么,老乔认为(乔也许错了),上流社会对任何问题的意见就很容易猜测出来了。”
“毫无疑问,”菲尼克斯表哥说道,“事实上,这是不言而喻的事情。我十分盼望,少校,我的朋友董贝能听我向他表示,我感到极为惊奇与遗憾:我那可爱的、多才多艺的、具备能使一位男子幸福的各种资质的亲戚,竟会把她对——事实上——社会应尽的责任完全忘记,以这样异乎寻常的方式来败坏自己的声誉;从那时候起,我的情绪非常消沉;就在昨天晚上我还对高个子萨克斯比说——他身高六英尺十英寸,我的朋友董贝大概认得他吧——,这件事使我变得心烦意乱,羞愧不堪,而且爱发脾气。这种奇灾大难使人不由得想到,一切都是由天意安排的,”菲尼克斯表哥继续说道,“因为如果我的姑妈现在还活着的话,那么我想,对一位像她那样非常活泼的女人来说,这件事对她的打击将会使她发生虚脱,她将成为牺牲品。”
“因此,董贝!——”少校精神十足地想把他的话继续说下去。
“请原谅,”菲尼克斯表哥打断他,说道,“请允许我再说一句。我的朋友董贝将允许我指出,我现在感受到像进地狱般的痛苦,如果说有什么情况能加深我这种痛苦的话,那就是大家猜想,我的那位可爱的、多才多艺的亲戚(请允许我仍这样称呼她)是跟一位地位远远低于她丈夫的人——事实上,就是那位长白牙齿的人——一起败坏了她自己的声誉;社会对这自然而然地感到惊奇。不过我认为我有责任坚决请求我的朋友董贝在她的罪行没有完全被证实之前,不要归罪于我的可爱的、多才多艺的亲戚;另一方面,我要请我的朋友董贝相信,我所代表的、现在几乎已灭绝了的家族(这一点想起来真使人悲伤)不会在他的道路上设置任何障碍,而且将会对他所指出的任何正当的处理方法高兴地表示同意。我相信,我的朋友董贝将会赞成我的这种意愿,正是这种意愿才使我在这十分悲伤的事情中还能振作起精神来;事实上,我不知道我需要再发表一些什么意见来打扰我的朋友董贝了。”
董贝先生没有抬起眼睛,鞠了个躬,默默无言。
“董贝,”少校说道,“我们的朋友菲尼克斯已经以他口若悬河的动听语言——老乔•白从没有听到过比这更为出色的流利口才;完全不错,他可以向天主发誓,他从来没有听到过——,说明了有关这位夫人的一切情形,”少校脸色十分发青,一边紧握着手杖中间,说道,“在这之后,我想凭着我们的友谊,董贝,从另一个方面来说一句话,先生,”少校发出了马般的咳嗽,说道,“社会在这种情况下是有舆论的,这些舆论的要求是应当得到满足的。”
“这我明白,”董贝先生答道。
“当然,您明白,董贝,”少校说道,“他妈的,先生,我知道您明白。像您这样才能出众的人是不大可能不了解的。”
“董贝!”少校说道,“其余的由您自己去猜测,我只直率地说一点——也许说得过早了——,因为白格斯托克家族的人总是有话直说的。他们这样做得不到什么好处,先生,可是白格斯托克家族的人生来就是这种脾气。应当开熗打死这个人。乔•白就在您的身边。他要求行使朋友的权利。上帝保佑您。”
“少校,”董贝先生回答道,“我很感谢您。时候一到,我就把我交由您支配。现在时候还没有到,我只好耐着性子跟您说话。”
“这家伙现在在哪里,董贝?”少校喘着气,并向他看了一分钟之后,问道。
“我不知道。”
“有他的什么消息吗?”少校问道。
“有。”
“董贝,我很高兴听到这,”少校说道。“我祝贺您。”
“请原谅,少校,”董贝先生回答道,“甚至对您,我现在也还不能谈到详细的情形。消息是奇怪的,得到消息的方式也是奇怪的。它可能毫无价值,但也可能是真实的。我现在还不能说什么。我的解释就到这里为止。”
虽然对热情得脸色发紫的少校来说,这是个索然无趣的回答,可是少校有礼貌地接受了它,并高兴地想到,社会可以期望很快就能得到它应当得到的东西。然后,菲尼克斯表哥听到了他的可爱的、多才多艺的亲戚的丈夫表示感谢的话;然后,菲尼克斯表哥和白格斯托克少校起身告辞,把那位丈夫留下重新面对着社会;他在闲暇的时候可能思考着他们两位反映了上流社会对他的私事的一些看法和它的公正的、合理的期望。
可是谁坐在女管家的房间里,举起双手,流着眼泪,在低声地跟皮普钦太太谈话呢?这是一位用一顶很窄小的黑帽子把自己脸孔掩藏起来的女士,那顶帽子看来不是属于她自己的。这是托克斯小姐,她从她的仆人那里借来这个化妆的物品,从公主广场来到这里,恢复她跟皮普钦太太旧日的交情,以便得到董贝先生的消息。
“他怎么忍受这打击呢,我亲爱的?”托克斯小姐问道。
“唔,”皮普钦太太用暴躁的态度回答道,“他跟往常一样。”
“表面上是这样,”托克斯小姐提示道。“可是他心里是怎样的感觉啊!”
皮普钦太太清楚而短促地回答道,“啊!也许。我想是这样。”这时她冷酷的、灰色的眼睛露出了疑问的神色。
“跟你说句心里话,卢克丽霞,”皮普钦太太说道;她仍旧管托克斯小姐叫卢克丽霞,因为她就是这位女士压制孩子的事业中的头一批试验品,当时她是个不幸的、孱弱的、年龄很小的女孩子;“跟你说句心里话,卢克丽霞,我认为,除掉她倒是件好事。我这里不需要你这种厚颜无耻的女人!”
“真是厚颜无耻!您说得不错,就是厚颜无耻!”托克斯小姐回答道。“抛弃他!这样高尚的人!”这时托克斯小姐极为激动。
“说真的,我不知道什么高尚不高尚,”皮普钦太太暴躁地擦擦鼻子,说道,“可是我知道,当人们遇到考验的时候,他们必须经受得住。哎呀!我本人这一辈子经受的考验真是够多的了!这有什么值得大惊小怪的!她走了,没有她反倒好。我想这里没有一个人想要她回来!”
从秘鲁矿井发出的这个暗示使托克斯小姐站起身来告辞;皮普钦太太摇摇铃,让托林森领她出去。托林森先生好久没有见到托克斯小姐了,所以咧着嘴笑着,并祝她身体健康,同时指出,她戴了这顶帽子使他起先认不出她来了。
“谢谢您,托林森,我身体不错,”托克斯小姐说道,“我想麻烦您帮个忙,以后当您碰巧看到我在这里的时候,请别跟别人提起这件事。我只是来看看皮普钦太太。”
“很好,小姐,”托林森说道。
“这里发生惊人的大事了,托林森,”托克斯小姐说道。
“确实是这样,小姐,”托林森回答道。
“我希望,托林森,”托克斯小姐说道;她在教图德尔孩子们学习时已习惯于用劝告的语气说话和从已发生的事情中吸取教训,“这里发生的事情对您是个警告,托林森。”
“谢谢您,小姐,”托林森说道。
当他好像正在沉思这种警告将以一种什么方式对他起作用的时候,性情乖戾的皮普钦太太突然把他唤醒,喊道,“你在干什么?你为什么不把这位女士送出去?”于是他就把托克斯小姐领到门外。当她走过董贝先生的房间时,她缩着身子,竭力想躲藏在黑帽子的阴影之中,并踮着脚尖走路;当她戴着黑帽子走进街道的时候,街灯刚点亮不久,她就设法在自身影子的遮掩下走回家去。这时候,世界上没有别的人这样经常出没在他的左右,这样为他牵肠挂肚,操心费神的。
可是托克斯小姐不是董贝先生的上流社会的一部分。每天晚上天黑的时候她回到这里来;每逢下雨天,她除了戴那顶黑帽子外,还多穿一双木底鞋,多拿一柄雨伞。她忍受着托林森的咧着嘴笑和皮普钦太太的发怒与申斥,这一切都仅仅是为了想了解:他是怎样生活的和他怎样忍受他的不幸的;可是她跟董贝先生的上流社会没有任何关系。董贝先生的上流社会像以往一样难以取悦,像以往一样烦扰着人们,它没有她继续存在下去;而她呢,一颗远不是明亮、也不是出色的星星,在另一个星系的角落里她的小小的轨道上运行着;她对这一点了解得很清楚,来了,哭了,走了,感到满足了。说实在的,托克斯小姐要比使董贝先生感到十分苦恼不安的上流社会容易得到满足。
在营业所里,职员们从各个不同的角度和侧面讨论了这桩重大的不幸事件,但主要是捉摸不清究竟谁将来接替卡克先生的职位。普遍的看法是:这个职位的薪金将会削减;而且由于实行新的检查与限制办法,这个职位将不大好当;那些毫无希望得到这个职位的人们肯定地说,他们完全不想取得它,也根本不嫉妒那位将被任命担任这个职务的人。从董贝先生的小儿子死去以后,在营业所里还没有发生过这样轰动一时的事情。不过所有这些激动的情绪不说是使大家变得快活了,但也使大家变得爱好交际了,而且增进了同事之间的交情。营业所中一位公认为最富有机智的人和他的抱负不凡的敌手在过去好几个月中彼此一直怀有不共戴天的仇恨,但在目前这吉利的时刻,两人实现了和解。同事们为了庆祝他们可喜地恢复亲睦友好,在附近的小酒店里举行了一个小小的宴会,那位富有机智的人担任宴会的主席,他的敌手担任副主席;当桌布撤走以后,主席开始演说;他说,先生们,他不能对自己掩饰真情,现在不是个私人意见不和的时代;最近发生的事件,他不需要详细提到它,可是有些星期天出版的报纸和一份他不必指名的日报(这时候在座的其他人都用听得见的低语说出这张日报的名称)并不是根本没有注意它;他觉得,在这样的时刻,他与鲁宾逊私人间的不和将无异于否认他们对他们共同事业所具有的良好的感情,而他有理由认为并希望,董贝公司所有的先生们都是以这种良好的感情而著称的。鲁宾逊以丈夫气概和兄弟情谊回答了这些话。
有一位在公司里工作了三年、由于发生计算错误经常受到解职警告的先生,以一种完全新的姿态出现在大家面前,他突然发表了动人的演说,说但愿他们可敬的老板在他的家庭中永远也不再发生可怕的不幸了!还说了其他许多话,每句话都是以“但愿他永远不再”开头的,他的演说受到了大家雷鸣般的热烈鼓掌。总之,他们度过了一个极为愉快的晚上,只不过有两位低级的职员因为对卡克先生最近每年可能的收入意见不一致,发生了争吵,两人拿着圆酒瓶相互威胁,十分激烈,后来被大家拉出去了。第二天大家在办公室里都需要喝苏打水,参加宴会的大多数人都认为餐费帐单是敲竹杠。
说到信差珀奇,他可真有被彻底毁灭的危险。他又经常出现在酒吧,受到款待,并无边无际地说着弥天大谎。好像他到处都遇见最近事件中有关的人,他问他们:“先生(或夫人),为什么您的脸色这样苍白?”被问到的每个人都从头到脚颤抖着,说了声,“啊,珀奇!”就跑开了。珀奇先生晚上通常在鲍尔斯池塘与珀奇太太在一起寻求安慰,这时候,也许是对他卑劣的谎言感到后悔,也许是喝酒后的反应,他的情绪低沉到了极点;珀奇太太则十分烦恼,因为她害怕他现在对女人的信任动摇了;他夜间回家的时候,几乎多半准备着发现她跟某个子爵私奔了。
这时候,董贝先生的仆人们变得十分吊儿郎当,几乎干什么事情都不合适。他们每天晚上都吃热乎乎的晚餐,一面喝着冒气的酒,一面高谈阔论。托林森先生过了10点半总是喝得醉醺醺的,感伤落泪,时常请别人回答他,他是不是说过,住在坐落在拐角的房屋里是不会有什么好处的?他们交头接耳地谈论着弗洛伦斯小姐,不知道她现在在哪里,但是大家一致认为,如果董贝先生不知道的话,董贝夫人是一定知道的。这样又使他们谈论到后一位,厨娘说,她的举止毕竟还是庄严高贵的,是不是?但是她太趾高气扬了!他们一致同意,她太趾高气扬了。托林森以前的情人女仆(她是很有德行的)请求大家永远也别对她谈起那些高昂着脑袋的人们,仿佛土地对她们来说都还不够好似的。
除了董贝先生以外,大家在这个问题上所说的和所做的,全都协调一致。董贝先生独自面对着社会。

慕若涵

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Chapter 52
Secret Intelligence
What is the proud man doing, while the days go by? Does he ever think of his daughter, or wonder where she is gone? Does he suppose she has come home, and is leading her old life in the weary house? No one can answer for him. He has never uttered her name, since. His household dread him too much to approach a subject on which he is resolutely dumb; and the only person who dares question him, he silences immediately.
'My dear Paul!' murmurs his sister, sidling into the room, on the day of Florence's departure, 'your wife! that upstart woman! Is it possible that what I hear confusedly, is true, and that this is her return for your unparalleled devotion to her; extending, I am sure, even to the sacrifice of your own relations, to her caprices and haughtiness? My poor brother!'
With this speech feelingly reminiscent of her not having been asked to dinner on the day of the first party, Mrs Chick makes great use of her pocket-handkerchief, and falls on Mr Dombey's neck. But Mr Dombey frigidly lifts her off, and hands her to a chair.
'I thank you, Louisa,' he says, 'for this mark of your affection; but desire that our conversation may refer to any other subject. When I bewail my fate, Louisa, or express myself as being in want of consolation, you can offer it, if you will have the goodness.'
'My dear Paul,' rejoins his sister, with her handkerchief to her face, and shaking her head, 'I know your great spirit, and will say no more upon a theme so painful and revolting;' on the heads of which two adjectives, Mrs Chick visits scathing indignation; 'but pray let me ask you - though I dread to hear something that will shock and distress me - that unfortunate child Florence -
'Louisa!' says her brother, sternly, 'silence! Not another word of this!'
Mrs Chick can only shake her head, and use her handkerchief, and moan over degenerate Dombeys, who are no Dombeys. But whether Florence has been inculpated in the flight of Edith, or has followed her, or has done too much, or too little, or anything, or nothing, she has not the least idea.
He goes on, without deviation, keeping his thoughts and feelings close within his own breast, and imparting them to no one. He makes no search for his daughter. He may think that she is with his sister, or that she is under his own roof. He may think of her constantly, or he may never think about her. It is all one for any sign he makes.
But this is sure; he does not think that he has lost her. He has no suspicion of the truth. He has lived too long shut up in his towering supremacy, seeing her, a patient gentle creature, in the path below it, to have any fear of that. Shaken as he is by his disgrace, he is not yet humbled to the level earth. The root is broad and deep, and in the course of years its fibres have spread out and gathered nourishment from everything around it. The tree is struck, but not down.
Though he hide the world within him from the world without - which he believes has but one purpose for the time, and that, to watch him eagerly wherever he goes - he cannot hide those rebel traces of it, which escape in hollow eyes and cheeks, a haggard forehead, and a moody, brooding air. Impenetrable as before, he is still an altered man; and, proud as ever, he is humbled, or those marks would not be there.
The world. What the world thinks of him, how it looks at him, what it sees in him, and what it says - this is the haunting demon of his mind. It is everywhere where he is; and, worse than that, it is everywhere where he is not. It comes out with him among his servants, and yet he leaves it whispering behind; he sees it pointing after him in the street; it is waiting for him in his counting-house; it leers over the shoulders of rich men among the merchants; it goes beckoning and babbling among the crowd; it always anticipates him, in every place; and is always busiest, he knows, when he has gone away. When he is shut up in his room at night, it is in his house, outside it, audible in footsteps on the pavement, visible in print upon the table, steaming to and fro on railroads and in ships; restless and busy everywhere, with nothing else but him.
It is not a phantom of his imagination. It is as active in other people's minds as in his. Witness Cousin Feenix, who comes from Baden-Baden, purposely to talk to him. Witness Major Bagstock, who accompanies Cousin Feenix on that friendly mission.
Mr Dombey receives them with his usual dignity, and stands erect, in his old attitude, before the fire. He feels that the world is looking at him out of their eyes. That it is in the stare of the pictures. That Mr Pitt, upon the bookcase, represents it. That there are eyes in its own map, hanging on the wall.
'An unusually cold spring,' says Mr Dombey - to deceive the world.
'Damme, Sir,' says the Major, in the warmth of friendship, 'Joseph Bagstock is a bad hand at a counterfeit. If you want to hold your friends off, Dombey, and to give them the cold shoulder, J. B. is not the man for your purpose. Joe is rough and tough, Sir; blunt, Sir, blunt, is Joe. His Royal Highness the late Duke of York did me the honour to say, deservedly or undeservedly - never mind that - "If there is a man in the service on whom I can depend for coming to the point, that man is Joe - Joe Bagstock."'
Mr Dombey intimates his acquiescence.
'Now, Dombey,' says the Major, 'I am a man of the world. Our friend Feenix - if I may presume to - '
'Honoured, I am sure,' says Cousin Feenix.
' - is,' proceeds the Major, with a wag of his head, 'also a man of the world. Dombey, you are a man of the world. Now, when three men of the world meet together, and are friends - as I believe - ' again appealing to Cousin Feenix.
'I am sure,' says Cousin Feenix, 'most friendly.'
' - and are friends,' resumes the Major, 'Old Joe's opinion is (I may be wrong), that the opinion of the world on any particular subject, is very easily got at.
'Undoubtedly,' says Cousin Feenix. 'In point of fact, it's quite a self-evident sort of thing. I am extremely anxious, Major, that my friend Dombey should hear me express my very great astonishment and regret, that my lovely and accomplished relative, who was possessed of every qualification to make a man happy, should have so far forgotten what was due to - in point of fact, to the world - as to commit herself in such a very extraordinary manner. I have been in a devilish state of depression ever since; and said indeed to Long Saxby last night - man of six foot ten, with whom my friend Dombey is probably acquainted - that it had upset me in a confounded way, and made me bilious. It induces a man to reflect, this kind of fatal catastrophe,' says Cousin Feenix, 'that events do occur in quite a providential manner; for if my Aunt had been living at the time, I think the effect upon a devilish lively woman like herself, would have been prostration, and that she would have fallen, in point of fact, a victim.'
'Now, Dombey! - ' says the Major, resuming his discourse with great energy.
'I beg your pardon,' interposes Cousin Feenix. 'Allow me another word. My friend Dombey will permit me to say, that if any circumstance could have added to the most infernal state of pain in which I find myself on this occasion, it would be the natural amazement of the world at my lovely and accomplished relative (as I must still beg leave to call her) being supposed to have so committed herself with a person - man with white teeth, in point of fact - of very inferior station to her husband. But while I must, rather peremptorily, request my friend Dombey not to criminate my lovely and accomplished relative until her criminality is perfectly established, I beg to assure my friend Dombey that the family I represent, and which is now almost extinct (devilish sad reflection for a man), will interpose no obstacle in his way, and will be happy to assent to any honourable course of proceeding, with a view to the future, that he may point out. I trust my friend Dombey will give me credit for the intentions by which I am animated in this very melancholy affair, and - a - in point of fact, I am not aware that I need trouble my friend Dombey with any further observations.'
Mr Dombey bows, without raising his eyes, and is silent.
'Now, Dombey,' says the Major, 'our friend Feenix having, with an amount of eloquence that Old Joe B. has never heard surpassed - no, by the Lord, Sir! never!' - says the Major, very blue, indeed, and grasping his cane in the middle - 'stated the case as regards the lady, I shall presume upon our friendship, Dombey, to offer a word on another aspect of it. Sir,' says the Major, with the horse's cough, 'the world in these things has opinions, which must be satisfied.'
'I know it,' rejoins Mr Dombey.
'Of course you know it, Dombey,' says the Major, 'Damme, Sir, I know you know it. A man of your calibre is not likely to be ignorant of it.'
'I hope not,' replies Mr Dombey.
'Dombey!' says the Major, 'you will guess the rest. I speak out - prematurely, perhaps - because the Bagstock breed have always spoke out. Little, Sir, have they ever got by doing it; but it's in the Bagstock blood. A shot is to be taken at this man. You have J. B. at your elbow. He claims the name of friend. God bless you!'
'Major,' returns Mr Dombey, 'I am obliged. I shall put myself in your hands when the time comes. The time not being come, I have forborne to speak to you.'
'Where is the fellow, Dombey?' inquires the Major, after gasping and looking at him, for a minute.
'I don't know.'
'Any intelligence of him?' asks the Major.
'Yes.'
'Dombey, I am rejoiced to hear it,' says the Major. 'I congratulate you.'
'You will excuse - even you, Major,' replies Mr Dombey, 'my entering into any further detail at present. The intelligence is of a singular kind, and singularly obtained. It may turn out to be valueless; it may turn out to be true; I cannot say at present. My explanation must stop here.'
Although this is but a dry reply to the Major's purple enthusiasm, the Major receives it graciously, and is delighted to think that the world has such a fair prospect of soon receiving its due. Cousin Feenix is then presented with his meed of acknowledgment by the husband of his lovely and accomplished relative, and Cousin Feenix and Major Bagstock retire, leaving that husband to the world again, and to ponder at leisure on their representation of its state of mind concerning his affairs, and on its just and reasonable expectations.
But who sits in the housekeeper's room, shedding tears, and talking to Mrs Pipchin in a low tone, with uplifted hands? It is a lady with her face concealed in a very close black bonnet, which appears not to belong to her. It is Miss Tox, who has borrowed this disguise from her servant, and comes from Princess's Place, thus secretly, to revive her old acquaintance with Mrs Pipchin, in order to get certain information of the state of Mr Dombey.
'How does he bear it, my dear creature?' asks Miss Tox.
'Well,' says Mrs Pipchin, in her snappish way, 'he's pretty much as usual.'
'Externally,' suggests Miss Tox 'But what he feels within!'
Mrs Pipchin's hard grey eye looks doubtful as she answers, in three distinct jerks, 'Ah! Perhaps. I suppose so.'
'To tell you my mind, Lucretia,' says Mrs Pipchin; she still calls Miss Tox Lucretia, on account of having made her first experiments in the child-quelling line of business on that lady, when an unfortunate and weazen little girl of tender years; 'to tell you my mind, Lucretia, I think it's a good riddance. I don't want any of your brazen faces here, myself!'
'Brazen indeed! Well may you say brazen, Mrs Pipchin!' returned Miss Tox. 'To leave him! Such a noble figure of a man!' And here Miss Tox is overcome.
'I don't know about noble, I'm sure,' observes Mrs Pipchin; irascibly rubbing her nose. 'But I know this - that when people meet with trials, they must bear 'em. Hoity, toity! I have had enough to bear myself, in my time! What a fuss there is! She's gone, and well got rid of. Nobody wants her back, I should think!' This hint of the Peruvian Mines, causes Miss Tox to rise to go away; when Mrs Pipchin rings the bell for Towlinson to show her out, Mr Towlinson, not having seen Miss Tox for ages, grins, and hopes she's well; observing that he didn't know her at first, in that bonnet.
'Pretty well, Towlinson, I thank you,' says Miss Tox. 'I beg you'll have the goodness, when you happen to see me here, not to mention it. My visits are merely to Mrs Pipchin.'
'Very good, Miss,' says Towlinson.
'Shocking circumstances occur, Towlinson,' says Miss Tox.
'Very much so indeed, Miss,' rejoins Towlinson.
'I hope, Towlinson,' says Miss Tox, who, in her instruction of the Toodle family, has acquired an admonitorial tone, and a habit of improving passing occasions, 'that what has happened here, will be a warning to you, Towlinson.'
'Thank you, Miss, I'm sure,' says Towlinson.
He appears to be falling into a consideration of the manner in which this warning ought to operate in his particular case, when the vinegary Mrs Pipchin, suddenly stirring him up with a 'What are you doing? Why don't you show the lady to the door?' he ushers Miss Tox forth. As she passes Mr Dombey's room, she shrinks into the inmost depths of the black bonnet, and walks, on tip-toe; and there is not another atom in the world which haunts him so, that feels such sorrow and solicitude about him, as Miss Tox takes out under the black bonnet into the street, and tries to carry home shadowed it from the newly-lighted lamps
But Miss Tox is not a part of Mr Dombey's world. She comes back every evening at dusk; adding clogs and an umbrella to the bonnet on wet nights; and bears the grins of Towlinson, and the huffs and rebuffs of Mrs Pipchin, and all to ask how he does, and how he bears his misfortune: but she has nothing to do with Mr Dombey's world. Exacting and harassing as ever, it goes on without her; and she, a by no means bright or particular star, moves in her little orbit in the corner of another system, and knows it quite well, and comes, and cries, and goes away, and is satisfied. Verily Miss Tox is easier of satisfaction than the world that troubles Mr Dombey so much!
At the Counting House, the clerks discuss the great disaster in all its lights and shades, but chiefly wonder who will get Mr Carker's place. They are generally of opinion that it will be shorn of some of its emoluments, and made uncomfortable by newly-devised checks and restrictions; and those who are beyond all hope of it are quite sure they would rather not have it, and don't at all envy the person for whom it may prove to be reserved. Nothing like the prevailing sensation has existed in the Counting House since Mr Dombey's little son died; but all such excitements there take a social, not to say a jovial turn, and lead to the cultivation of good fellowship. A reconciliation is established on this propitious occasion between the acknowledged wit of the Counting House and an aspiring rival, with whom he has been at deadly feud for months; and a little dinner being proposed, in commemoration of their happily restored amity, takes place at a neighbouring tavern; the wit in the chair; the rival acting as Vice-President. The orations following the removal of the cloth are opened by the Chair, who says, Gentlemen, he can't disguise from himself that this is not a time for private dissensions. Recent occurrences to which he need not more particularly allude, but which have not been altogether without notice in some Sunday Papers,' and in a daily paper which he need not name (here every other member of the company names it in an audible murmur), have caused him to reflect; and he feels that for him and Robinson to have any personal differences at such a moment, would be for ever to deny that good feeling in the general cause, for which he has reason to think and hope that the gentlemen in Dombey's House have always been distinguished. Robinson replies to this like a man and a brother; and one gentleman who has been in the office three years, under continual notice to quit on account of lapses in his arithmetic, appears in a perfectly new light, suddenly bursting out with a thrilling speech, in which he says, May their respected chief never again know the desolation which has fallen on his hearth! and says a great variety of things, beginning with 'May he never again,' which are received with thunders of applause. In short, a most delightful evening is passed, only interrupted by a difference between two juniors, who, quarrelling about the probable amount of Mr Carker's late receipts per annum, defy each other with decanters, and are taken out greatly excited. Soda water is in general request at the office next day, and most of the party deem the bill an imposition.
As to Perch, the messenger, he is in a fair way of being ruined for life. He finds himself again constantly in bars of public-houses, being treated and lying dreadfully. It appears that he met everybody concerned in the late transaction, everywhere, and said to them, 'Sir,' or 'Madam,' as the case was, 'why do you look so pale?' at which each shuddered from head to foot, and said, 'Oh, Perch!' and ran away. Either the consciousness of these enormities, or the reaction consequent on liquor, reduces Mr Perch to an extreme state of low spirits at that hour of the evening when he usually seeks consolation in the society of Mrs Perch at Balls Pond; and Mrs Perch frets a good deal, for she fears his confidence in woman is shaken now, and that he half expects on coming home at night to find her gone off with some Viscount - 'which,' as she observes to an intimate female friend, 'is what these wretches in the form of woman have to answer for, Mrs P. It ain't the harm they do themselves so much as what they reflect upon us, Ma'am; and I see it in Perch's eye.
Mr Dombey's servants are becoming, at the same time, quite dissipated, and unfit for other service. They have hot suppers every night, and 'talk it over' with smoking drinks upon the board. Mr Towlinson is always maudlin after half-past ten, and frequently begs to know whether he didn't say that no good would ever come of living in a corner house? They whisper about Miss Florence, and wonder where she is; but agree that if Mr Dombey don't know, Mrs Dombey does. This brings them to the latter, of whom Cook says, She had a stately way though, hadn't she? But she was too high! They all agree that she was too high, and Mr Towlinson's old flame, the housemaid (who is very virtuous), entreats that you will never talk to her any more about people who hold their heads up, as if the ground wasn't good enough for 'em.
Everything that is said and done about it, except by Mr Dombey, is done in chorus. Mr Dombey and the world are alone together.
'Misses Brown,' urged the tormented Grinder, 'I didn't mean to - Oh, what a thing it is for a cove to get into such a line as this! - I was only careful of talking, Misses Brown, because I always am, on account of his being up to everything; but I might have known it wouldn't have gone any further. I'm sure I'm quite agreeable,' with a wretched face, 'for any little bit of gossip, Misses Brown. Don't go on like this, if you please. Oh, couldn't you have the goodness to put in a word for a miserable cove, here?' said the Grinder, appealing in desperation to the daughter.
'Come, mother, you hear what he says,' she interposed, in her stern voice, and with an impatient action of her head; 'try him once more, and if you fall out with him again, ruin him, if you like, and have done with him.'
Mrs Brown, moved as it seemed by this very tender exhortation, presently began to howl; and softening by degrees, took the apologetic Grinder to her arms, who embraced her with a face of unutterable woe, and like a victim as he was, resumed his former seat, close by the side of his venerable friend, whom he suffered, not without much constrained sweetness of countenance, combating very expressive physiognomical revelations of an opposite character to draw his arm through hers, and keep it there.
'And how's Master, deary dear?' said Mrs Brown, when, sitting in this amicable posture, they had pledged each other.
'Hush! If you'd be so good, Misses Brown, as to speak a little lower,' Rob implored. 'Why, he's pretty well, thank'ee, I suppose.'
'You're not out of place, Robby?' said Mrs Brown, in a wheedling tone.
'Why, I'm not exactly out of place, nor in,' faltered Rob. 'I - I'm still in pay, Misses Brown.'
'And nothing to do, Rob?'
'Nothing particular to do just now, Misses Brown, but to - keep my eyes open, said the Grinder, rolling them in a forlorn way.
'Master abroad, Rob?'
'Oh, for goodness' sake, Misses Brown, couldn't you gossip with a cove about anything else?' cried the Grinder, in a burst of despair.
The impetuous Mrs Brown rising directly, the tortured Grinder detained her, stammering 'Ye-es, Misses Brown, I believe he's abroad. What's she staring at?' he added, in allusion to the daughter, whose eyes were fixed upon the face that now again looked out behind
'Don't mind her, lad,' said the old woman, holding him closer to prevent his turning round. 'It's her way - her way. Tell me, Rob. Did you ever see the lady, deary?'
'Oh, Misses Brown, what lady?' cried the Grinder in a tone of piteous supplication.
'What lady?' she retorted. 'The lady; Mrs Dombey.'
'Yes, I believe I see her once,' replied Rob.
'The night she went away, Robby, eh?' said the old woman in his ear, and taking note of every change in his face. 'Aha! I know it was that night.'
'Well, if you know it was that night, you know, Misses Brown,' replied Rob, 'it's no use putting pinchers into a cove to make him say so.
'Where did they go that night, Rob? Straight away? How did they go? Where did you see her? Did she laugh? Did she cry? Tell me all about it,' cried the old hag, holding him closer yet, patting the hand that was drawn through his arm against her other hand, and searching every line in his face with her bleared eyes. 'Come! Begin! I want to be told all about it. What, Rob, boy! You and me can keep a secret together, eh? We've done so before now. Where did they go first, Rob?'
The wretched Grinder made a gasp, and a pause.
'Are you dumb?' said the old woman, angrily.
'Lord, Misses Brown, no! You expect a cove to be a flash of lightning. I wish I was the electric fluency,' muttered the bewildered Grinder. 'I'd have a shock at somebody, that would settle their business.'
'What do you say?' asked the old woman, with a grin.
'I'm wishing my love to you, Misses Brown,' returned the false Rob, seeking consolation in the glass. 'Where did they go to first was it? Him and her, do you mean?'
'Ah!' said the old woman, eagerly. 'Them two.'
'Why, they didn't go nowhere - not together, I mean,' answered Rob.
The old woman looked at him, as though she had a strong impulse upon her to make another clutch at his head and throat, but was restrained by a certain dogged mystery in his face.
'That was the art of it,' said the reluctant Grinder; 'that's the way nobody saw 'em go, or has been able to say how they did go. They went different ways, I tell you Misses Brown.
'Ay, ay, ay! To meet at an appointed place,' chuckled the old woman, after a moment's silent and keen scrutiny of his face.
'Why, if they weren't a going to meet somewhere, I suppose they might as well have stayed at home, mightn't they, Brown?' returned the unwilling Grinder.
'Well, Rob? Well?' said the old woman, drawing his arm yet tighter through her own, as if, in her eagerness, she were afraid of his slipping away.
'What, haven't we talked enough yet, Misses Brown?' returned the Grinder, who, between his sense of injury, his sense of liquor, and his sense of being on the rack, had become so lachrymose, that at almost every answer he scooped his coats into one or other of his eyes, and uttered an unavailing whine of remonstrance. 'Did she laugh that night, was it? Didn't you ask if she laughed, Misses Brown?'
'Or cried?' added the old woman, nodding assent.
'Neither,' said the Grinder. 'She kept as steady when she and me - oh, I see you will have it out of me, Misses Brown! But take your solemn oath now, that you'll never tell anybody.'
This Mrs Brown very readily did: being naturally Jesuitical; and having no other intention in the matter than that her concealed visitor should hear for himself.
'She kept as steady, then, when she and me went down to Southampton,' said the Grinder, 'as a image. In the morning she was just the same, Misses Brown. And when she went away in the packet before daylight, by herself - me pretending to be her servant, and seeing her safe aboard - she was just the same. Now, are you contented, Misses Brown?'
'No, Rob. Not yet,' answered Mrs Brown, decisively.
'Oh, here's a woman for you!' cried the unfortunate Rob, in an outburst of feeble lamentation over his own helplessness.
'What did you wish to know next, Misses Brown?'
'What became of Master? Where did he go?' she inquired, still holding hIm tight, and looking close into his face, with her sharp eyes.
'Upon my soul, I don't know, Misses Brown,' answered Rob.
'Upon my soul I don't know what he did, nor where he went, nor anything about him I only know what he said to me as a caution to hold my tongue, when we parted; and I tell you this, Misses Brown, as a friend, that sooner than ever repeat a word of what we're saying now, you had better take and shoot yourself, or shut yourself up in this house, and set it a-fire, for there's nothing he wouldn't do, to be revenged upon you. You don't know him half as well as I do, Misses Brown. You're never safe from him, I tell you.'
'Haven't I taken an oath,' retorted the old woman, 'and won't I keep it?'
'Well, I'm sure I hope you will, Misses Brown,' returned Rob, somewhat doubtfully, and not without a latent threatening in his manner. 'For your own sake, quite as much as mine'
He looked at her as he gave her this friendly caution, and emphasized it with a nodding of his head; but finding it uncomfortable to encounter the yellow face with its grotesque action, and the ferret eyes with their keen old wintry gaze, so close to his own, he looked down uneasily and sat skulking in his chair, as if he were trying to bring hImself to a sullen declaration that he would answer no more questions. The old woman, still holding him as before, took this opportunity of raising the forefinger of her right hand, in the air, as a stealthy signal to the concealed observer to give particular attention to what was about to follow.
'Rob,' she said, in her most coaxing tone.
'Good gracious, Misses Brown, what's the matter now?' returned the exasperated Grinder.
'Rob! where did the lady and Master appoint to meet?'
Rob shuffled more and more, and looked up and looked down, and bit his thumb, and dried it on his waistcoat, and finally said, eyeing his tormentor askance, 'How should I know, Misses Brown?'
The old woman held up her finger again, as before, and replying, 'Come, lad! It's no use leading me to that, and there leaving me. I want to know' waited for his answer. Rob, after a discomfited pause, suddenly broke out with, 'How can I pronounce the names of foreign places, Mrs Brown? What an unreasonable woman you are!'
'But you have heard it said, Robby,' she retorted firmly, 'and you know what it sounded like. Come!'
'I never heard it said, Misses Brown,' returned the Grinder.
'Then,' retorted the old woman quickly, 'you have seen it written, and you can spell it.'
Rob, with a petulant exclamation between laughing and crying - for he was penetrated with some admiration of Mrs Brown's cunning, even through this persecution - after some reluctant fumbling in his waistcoat pocket, produced from it a little piece of chalk. The old woman's eyes sparkled when she saw it between his thumb and finger, and hastily clearing a space on the deal table, that he might write the word there, she once more made her signal with a shaking hand.
'Now I tell you beforehand what it is, Misses Brown,' said Rob, 'it's no use asking me anything else. I won't answer anything else; I can't. How long it was to be before they met, or whose plan it was that they was to go away alone, I don't know no more than you do. I don't know any more about it. If I was to tell you how I found out this word, you'd believe that. Shall I tell you, Misses Brown?'
'Yes, Rob.'
'Well then, Misses Brown. The way - now you won't ask any more, you know?' said Rob, turning his eyes, which were now fast getting drowsy and stupid, upon her.
'Not another word,' said Mrs Brown.
'Well then, the way was this. When a certain person left the lady with me, he put a piece of paper with a direction written on it in the lady's hand, saying it was in case she should forget. She wasn't afraid of forgetting, for she tore it up as soon as his back was turned, and when I put up the carriage steps, I shook out one of the pieces - she sprinkled the rest out of the window, I suppose, for there was none there afterwards, though I looked for 'em. There was only one word on it, and that was this, if you must and will know. But remember! You're upon your oath, Misses Brown!'
Mrs Brown knew that, she said. Rob, having nothing more to say, began to chalk, slowly and laboriously, on the table.
'"D,"' the old woman read aloud, when he had formed the letter.
'Will you hold your tongue, Misses Brown?' he exclaimed, covering it with his hand, and turning impatiently upon her. 'I won't have it read out. Be quiet, will you!'
'Then write large, Rob,' she returned, repeating her secret signal; 'for my eyes are not good, even at print.'
Muttering to himself, and returning to his work with an ill will, Rob went on with the word. As he bent his head down, the person for whose information he so unconsciously laboured, moved from the door behind him to within a short stride of his shoulder, and looked eagerly towards the creeping track of his hand upon the table. At the same time, Alice, from her opposite chair, watched it narrowly as it shaped the letters, and repeated each one on her lips as he made it, without articulating it aloud. At the end of every letter her eyes and Mr Dombey's met, as if each of them sought to be confirmed by the other; and thus they both spelt D.I.J.O.N.
'There!' said the Grinder, moistening the palm of his hand hastily, to obliterate the word; and not content with smearing it out, rubbing and planing all trace of it away with his coat-sleeve, until the very colour of the chalk was gone from the table. 'Now, I hope you're contented, Misses Brown!'
The old woman, in token of her being so, released his arm and patted his back; and the Grinder, overcome with mortification, cross-examination, and liquor, folded his arms on the table, laid his head upon them, and fell asleep.
Not until he had been heavily asleep some time, and was snoring roundly, did the old woman turn towards the door where Mr Dombey stood concealed, and beckon him to come through the room, and pass out. Even then, she hovered over Rob, ready to blind him with her hands, or strike his head down, if he should raise it while the secret step was crossing to the door. But though her glance took sharp cognizance of the sleeper, it was sharp too for the waking man; and when he touched her hand with his, and in spite of all his caution, made a chinking, golden sound, it was as bright and greedy as a raven's.
The daughter's dark gaze followed him to the door, and noted well how pale he was, and how his hurried tread indicated that the least delay was an insupportable restraint upon him, and how he was burning to be active and away. As he closed the door behind him, she looked round at her mother. The old woman trotted to her; opened her hand to show what was within; and, tightly closing it again in her jealousy and avarice, whispered:
'What will he do, Ally?'
'Mischief,' said the daughter.
'Murder?' asked the old woman.
'He's a madman, in his wounded pride, and may do that, for anything we can say, or he either.'
Her glance was brighter than her mother's, and the fire that shone in it was fiercer; but her face was colourless, even to her lips
They said no more, but sat apart; the mother communing with her money; the daughter with her thoughts; the glance of each, shining in the gloom of the feebly lighted room. Rob slept and snored. The disregarded parrot only was in action. It twisted and pulled at the wires of its cage, with its crooked beak, and crawled up to the dome, and along its roof like a fly, and down again head foremost, and shook, and bit, and rattled at every slender bar, as if it knew its master's danger, and was wild to force a passage out, and fly away to warn him of it.
善良的布朗太太和她的女儿艾丽斯两个人一起默默无言地坐在她们自己的住所中。这是暮春季节,黄昏刚刚降临。董贝先生跟白格斯托克少校说到他用奇怪的方式得到的奇怪的消息也许毫无价值,但也许是真实的,从那时以来,才过去几天;上流社会仍然没有得到满足。
母亲和女儿长久地坐在那里,没有交谈过一句话,几乎身子也没有动过。老太婆的脸上露出狡猾的、焦急的与期待的神色;女儿的脸上也露出期待的神色,只是在程度上不那么强烈,有时仿佛由于逐渐感到失望与怀疑的缘故,脸色阴沉下来。老太婆虽然不时朝她脸上看看,但并没有注意到她表情上的这些变化,她坐在那里嘟囔着,大声咀嚼着,并满怀信心地倾听着。
她们的住所虽然简陋、可怜,但毕竟不像布朗太太独自居住的时候那样极端的破旧、肮脏;房间已被稍稍收拾过,虽然收拾得马虎、潦草,就像吉普赛人那样,但显然是想让它干净一些,有条理一些;只要看一眼,就可以知道,这些都是那位年轻女人干的。当两人保持着沉默的时候,暮色愈来愈浓,愈来愈深,最后,发黑的墙壁几乎已隐没在一片幽暗之中。
这时候,艾丽斯打破了持续长久的沉默,说道:
“你别等他了,妈妈。他不会到这里来的。”
“我才不死心!”老太婆不耐烦地回答道。“他•会来的。”
“我们瞧吧,”艾丽斯说道。
“我们将会看见•他,”母亲回答道。
“在世界末日,”女儿说道。
“我知道,你以为我又成了不懂事的孩子了!”老太婆用哭丧的说道。“这就是我从我亲生女儿那里得到的尊敬与孝顺,可是我要比你想的聪明一些。他会来的。那天我在街上碰到他的外衣的时候,他回过头来看我,仿佛我是只癞蛤蟆似的。可是我的天主,当我说起他们的名字,问他是不是想查出他们在哪里的时候,你看他那副脸色呀!”
“是不是很生气?”她的女儿问道,一下子产生了兴趣。
“生气?你最好还是问他是不是火冒三丈。用这个词儿来说还差不离。生气?哈哈!那副脸色还能仅仅说是生气吗!”老太婆一拐一拐地走到碗柜跟前,点了一支蜡烛;当她把它拿到桌子上来的时候,烛光把她嘴巴难看的动作照得清清楚楚。“如果能那样说的话,那么我也可以把你想到或说到他们时的脸色说成仅仅是生气了。”
确实,当艾丽斯像一只蹲伏着的母老虎那样安静地坐在那里,眼睛里冒着火星的时候,她的脸色是跟生气有些不相同的。
“听!”老太婆得意地说道。“我听到走来的脚步声。这不是附近居民或常走这条路的人的步子。我们不是那样走的。要有这样的邻居,我们可真要感到自豪了!你听到他了吗?”“我想你是对的,妈妈,”艾丽斯低声回答道。“别说话了!
去开门。”
当老太婆披上披肩、紧紧地裹住身子的时候,她照她女儿的话去做了;她往门外探望了一下,招了招手,让董贝先生进来。董贝先生刚把一只脚伸进门槛,就站住了,并怀疑地向四下里瞧瞧。
“对像您阁下这样尊贵的先生来说,这是个可怜的地方,”老太婆行着屈膝礼,唠唠叨叨地说道,“这我已告诉过您了,不过这里没有任何危险。”
“她是谁?”董贝先生看着她同屋里的人,问道。
“这是我漂亮的女儿,”老太婆说道。“您阁下不要去管她。
这件事她全都知道。”
他的脸上罩上了一层阴影;如果他大声哼叫道,“谁还不全知道!”那么也不会比那层阴影所表露的意思更清楚;但是他凝视着她,她则望着他,没有向他表示任何问候。
当他的视线从她脸上移开的时候,他脸上的阴影更阴暗了;可是就是在这之后,他还是偷偷地又转回眼睛去看她,仿佛她的大胆的眼光吸引了他,勾引起他的一些什么回忆似的。
“女人!”董贝先生对丑老婆子说道,那丑老婆子在他身边吃吃地笑着,并斜眼看着;当他转过身子对着她的时候,她偷偷地指着她的女儿,搓着手,又重新指着她。“女人!我相信,我到这里来是表现了我的软弱,而且忘掉了我的身份;但是你知道,我是为什么到这里来的;还有,你那天在街上拦住我的时候,向我提出了什么建议。我想要知道的问题,你究竟有什么要对我说的?当我运用了我的权势和钱财,却徒劳无益,依然得不到消息的时候,却有人自愿到这样一所简陋的茅屋里来向我通风报信,这又是怎么一回事?”他轻蔑地向四周看了一眼,“我想,”他沉默了一会儿,并在这段时间里严厉地观察了她之后,继续说道,“你不至于放肆到竟来开我的玩笑,或者想来欺骗我吧。不过如果你有这种意图的话,那么你最好一开始就放弃它。我不是个随便让人开玩笑的人,我的惩罚将是严厉的。”
“啊,多么高傲、冷酷的先生!”老太婆摇着头,搓着布满皱纹的手,并吃吃地笑着,说道,“啊,冷酷哪,冷酷哪,冷酷哪!可是您阁下将亲耳听到,亲眼看到,而不是通过我们的耳朵和眼睛——可是如果向您阁下指出寻找他们的线索的话,那么您将不会拒绝支付一点儿报酬吧,是不是的,尊敬的先生?”
“我知道,金钱会创造奇迹,”董贝先生回答道,他显然由于她提出这个问题而感到宽慰和放心,“它能把像这样一些出乎意料之外、似乎没有什么希望的手段也利用起来。好的。对于我所收到的任何可靠的情报,我都将支付报酬。但是,我必须首先得到情报,然后再由我来判断它的价值。”
“您不知道有比金钱更有力量的东西吗?”年轻的女人问道;她没有站起身来,也没有改变她的姿势。
“我想这里没有,”董贝先生说道。
“照我看来,您应当知道在别的地方有更有力量的东西,”
她回答道,“您知道女人的愤怒吗?”
“你的嘴不懂礼貌,轻佻的女人,”董贝先生说道。
“不是经常这样,”她不动任何感情地回答道,“我现在对您说,是为了使您能更好地了解我们,更加信任我们。一个女人的愤怒在这里就跟在您豪华的公馆里一样。我愤怒。我已经愤怒了好多年。我的愤怒就像您的愤怒一样,具有充足的理由。我们两人愤怒的对象是同一个人。”
他不由自主地吃了一惊,诧异地看着她。
“是的,”她冷笑了一下,说道。“虽然我们之间的距离很大,然而实际情况却就是这样。为什么会发生这种情况,这是无关紧要的;这涉及我的经历,我不打算去谈它。我将愿意把您和他带到一起,因为我痛恨他。我的母亲是贪婪和穷苦的;为了钱,她会出卖她能探听到的任何消息,她会出卖任何东西,任何人。如果她能帮助您知道您想要知道的消息,您就给她一点报酬,这也许是很公平合理的。但这不是我的动机、我已经告诉您,我的动机是什么;对我来说,这个动机是强烈的,本身就已足够的;即使您跟她为了六便士讨价还价,争执不休,我也不会放弃。我已说完了我想说的一切。我这不懂礼貌的嘴不再说什么了,哪怕您在这里等到明天太阳升起我也不说了。”
老太婆在她女儿讲话的时候,表露出极大的不安,因为它有使她期望得到的利益贬值的趋向。她轻轻地拉着董贝先生的袖子,低声对他说,别去理会她。他形容憔悴,轮流地看着她们两人,并用一种比平时更深沉的说道:
“继续说下去吧,你们知道什么?”
“哦,没有这么快,阁下!我们必须等一个人来,”老太婆回答道。“必须从另一个人那里得到这消息——从他那里慢慢探听出来——用厉害的手段逼他说出来和绕着弯儿把他的话哄骗出来。”
“你这话是什么意思?”董贝先生问道。
“耐心一点!”她用乌鸦般哭丧的说道,一边把一只手像爪子似地搁在他的胳膊上。“耐心一点!我会得到它的。我知道我能得到的!如果他想瞒住我的话,”善良的布朗太太弯起十只手指,说道,“那么我将把它从他嘴巴里掏出来!”
她一拐一拐地走到门口,又向外面看看,董贝先生的眼光一直跟随着她,然后他的眼光转向她的女儿;但是她仍旧冷淡、沉默,不理会他。
“女人,你是不是想跟我说,”当弯腰曲背的布朗太太摇着头,一边喋喋不休地自言自语着走回来的时候,他说道,“还有一个人要到这里来,我们正等着他?”
“是的,”老太婆仰起头来望着他的脸,点点头,说道。
“你打算从他那里探听出对我有用的消息吗?”
“是的,”老太婆又点点头,说道。
“一个我不认识的人?”
“咄!”老太婆尖声地大笑了一声,说道。“这有什么关系呢!唔,唔,不是您不认识的人。可是他将不跟您见面。要是见了您,他将会害怕,不肯说出来。您将站在门后面,由您自己来判断他讲的话,我们并不要求您不加考察地就相信我们。怎么!您阁下对门后面的房间怀疑吗?啊!你们这些有钱的先生真是多疑呀!那就请去看看它吧。”
她的敏锐的眼睛已经觉察出他在脸上无意间表露出来的这种神情,在当前的情况下这也是很自然的。为了消除他的怀疑,让他放心,她就拿着蜡烛走到她所说的门口。董贝先生往里看了看,看清那是个空空的、破烂的房间,于是做了个手势,要她把蜡烛拿回到原来的地方去。
“这个人多久才来?”他问道。
“不会多久,”她回答道。“您阁下是不是请坐几分钟?”
他没有回答;但开始以犹豫不决的神态在房间里来回踱起步子来,仿佛他打不定主意,究竟是留在这里呢还是离开这里,又仿佛他在心中责怪自己,根本不该到这里来。但是不久他的步子愈来愈慢,愈来愈重,他的脸上愈来愈显出严峻的、沉思的神色,因为他来到这里的目的又重新占据他的心头,并在那里扩展开来。
当他低垂着眼睛,这样走来走去的时候,布朗太太又坐到刚才她站起来去迎接他的那张椅子中,重新倾听着。他那单调的脚步声,或者是她那无法说准的年龄,使她的听觉变得十分迟钝,因此门外的脚步声几秒钟以前就已传入她的女儿的耳朵里,她已急忙抬起头来提醒她母亲注意它已临近了,老太婆这才被它惊醒过来;但在这之后她立即从坐位中跳了起来,低声说了句“他来了!”,就急急忙忙把他的客人推到他的观察哨位上去,然后手脚十分麻利地在桌子上摆了一瓶酒和一只杯子,因此当磨工罗布一在门口出现的时候,她就能立刻伸出胳膊,搂住他的脖子。
“我的好孩子终于来啦!”布朗太太喊道,“哦嗬,哦嗬!
你就像我亲生的儿子一样,罗贝!”
“啊,布朗太太!”磨工抗议道。“别这样!您喜欢一个小伙子,难道就非得把他抱得这么紧,并掐住他的脖子不成?请您留心我手里的鸟笼子,好不好?”
“他心里就只想着鸟笼子,而没有想到我!”老太婆对着天花板喊道。“而我比他的亲妈妈还疼他!”
“唔,说真的,我很感谢您,布朗太太,”不幸的年轻人十分恼火地说道;“可是您对一个小伙子太妒嫉了!当然我是很喜欢您的,可是我并没有掐过您的脖子,让您透不过气来呀,是不是,布朗太太?”
他讲这些话的时候,脸上露出的神色却仿佛是,如果真有这样一个有利的机会的话,那么他是决不会反对这样做的。
“您也谈到了鸟笼子!”磨工呜咽着说道,“仿佛这是桩罪恶似的!喂,您看这里!您知道这是属于谁的?”
“属于您的主人,是不是,亲爱的?”老太婆咧开嘴笑着说道。
“是的,”磨工回答道,一边把一只用包袱牢牢包扎起来的大鸟笼子提到桌子上,用牙齿和手去解开它。“这是我们的鹦鹉。”
“卡克先生的鹦鹉吗,罗布?”
“您住嘴好不好,布朗太太?”被惹得生气的磨工回答道。
“您为什么要指名道姓?”罗布说道,他在恼怒之中用双手拽着他的头发,“她非把一个小伙子逼疯不可!”
“什么!你责骂起我来了,你这个忘恩负义的孩子!”老太婆立即发怒地喊道。
“哎呀,布朗太太,别这样!”磨工眼中含着泪水,回答道。“谁在什么时候见过这样的——!我不是非常喜欢您吗,布朗太太?”
“是吗,亲爱的罗布?真是这样吗?我的小宝贝?”布朗太太一边说,一边又亲热地拥抱他,直到他用腿作了好多次激烈的、无效的挣扎、头发都一根根竖立起来以后,她才放开了他。
“哎呀!”磨工哼叫着,“真糟糕,心里喜爱,就这么使劲。
我真但愿她——您这一向好吗,布朗太太?”
“啊!你已有一个星期没有到这里来过了!”老太婆用责备的眼光看着他,说道。
“哎呀,布朗太太,”磨工回答道,“一个星期以前的晚上我对您说过,我今天晚上将到这里来,我是不是这样说过?现在我在这里了。您怎么还纠缠不休!我希望您稍稍讲道理一些,布朗太太。我为了给自己辩护,嗓子都讲嘶哑了,我的脸也被您抱得发出亮光来了。”他用袖子使劲地擦着脸,仿佛想把他讲到的亮光给擦去似的。
“喝一点儿,安慰安慰你自己吧,我的罗宾,”老太婆从瓶里倒出一杯,递给他,说道:
“谢谢您,布朗太太,”磨工回答道。“祝您健康!祝您长寿!等等。”从他脸上的表情来看,这并不是他最好的祝愿。
“现在祝她健康,”磨工向艾丽斯看了一眼,说道;他觉得,她的眼睛正凝视着他身后的墙壁,但实际上却是凝视着站在门后的董贝先生的脸,“并同样祝她长寿,以及许多其他等等的好事。”
他致了这两次祝酒词以后,把酒喝干了,然后把杯子放在桌子上。
“唔,我说,布朗太太!”他继续说道。“现在您得稍稍讲道理一些。您是鸟儿的行家,懂得它们的生活习惯,而我是付出了代价才懂得的。”
“代价!”布朗太太重复道。
“我是想说,使自己称心满意,”磨工回答道。“您为什么要打断一个小伙子的话头呢,布朗太太!您已经使一切东西都从我脑子里跑走了。”
“你刚才说到我是鸟儿的行家,罗贝,”老太婆提示道。
“啊,对了!”磨工说道。“我现在得照料这只鹦鹉——现在有些东西正在卖掉,有些产业不经营了,我现在没工夫去照料这鹦鹉,我希望您能照料它一个星期左右,喂养它,给它一个住处,您愿意吗?如果我必须来来回回到这里来的话,”罗布垂头丧气地沉思着,说道,“那么我也许是为了什么目的到这里来的。”
“为了什么目的到这里来?”老太婆高声叫道。
“我是想说,不光是为了来看您,布朗太太,”胆怯的罗布回答道,“其实,这并不是说,除了您本人以外,我还需要有到这里来的其他动机,布朗太太。请行行好,别再开始谈这了。”
“他不关心我!他不像我关心他那样关心我!”布朗太太举起皮包骨头的手,喊道,“但是我却要关心他的鸟。”
“您知道,您得好好地关心它才是,布朗太太,”罗布摇摇头,说道,“如果您弄伤了它的羽毛,哪怕弄伤了一次,我相信都是会被发觉的。”
“啊,他的眼睛那么敏锐吗,罗布!”布朗太太迅速地说道。
“敏锐,布朗太太,”罗布重复说道。“但是不能谈这一点。”
罗布突然停住不说,胆战心惊地向四周看了一眼,又把杯子倒满了,慢慢地把它喝干以后,摇摇头,开始用指头在鹦鹉笼子的金属丝上划着,想从刚刚提到的危险的话题上转开。
老太婆狡猾地注视着他,把她的椅子向他的椅子拉近一些,往笼子里看着鹦鹉(它听了她的呼唤,从镀金的圆形笼顶中走了下来),问道:
“你现在失业了吗,罗布?”
“这不关您的事,布朗太太,”罗布简短地回答道。
“也许你现在只领只够吃饭住宿的工资吧,罗布?”布朗太太问道。
“漂亮的鹦鹉!”磨工说道。
老太婆向他飞快地看了一眼,这本来可以警告他,他的耳朵已处于危险中了。可是现在轮到他往笼子里看着鹦鹉。虽然他可能生动地想象出她的怒容,但是他的肉眼却没有看见它。
“我觉得奇怪,你的主人竟没有带你跟他一起走,罗布,”老太婆用甜言蜜语的问道,但是她的脸色却变得更加怨恨了。
罗布专心一意地注视着鹦鹉,并用指头拨弄着金属丝,所以什么也没有回答。
他向桌子弯着身子,老太婆的手几乎就要抓到他蓬乱的头发了,可是她抑制住自己的手指,用一种由于想尽力讨取欢心而竟说不出话来的,说道:
“罗贝,我的孩子。”
“唔,布朗太太,”磨工回答道。
“我说,我觉得奇怪,你的主人竟没有带你跟他一起走,亲爱的。”
“这不关您的事,布朗太太,”磨工回答道。
布朗太太立即用右手揪住他的头发,左手卡住他的喉咙,勃然大怒地抓住了她宠爱的对象,使得他的脸色一下子发青了。
“布朗太太!”磨工高声喊道,“放开我,听见没有?您在干什么?帮帮我,年轻的女人!布朗太——布——!”
可是年轻的女人听到他向她直接发出的呼吁和他发音不清的话语,跟先前一样不动声色,继续保持完全中立,直到罗布跟他的对手挣扎搏斗之后,退到一个角落里,才脱了身,站在那里,喘着气,用胳膊肘防护着自己;老太婆也喘着气,又气又急地跺着脚,看来正在积蓄精力,以便重新向他猛扑过去。在这紧急关头,艾丽斯插进来说话,但却不是对磨工有利的。
“干得好,妈妈。把他撕得粉碎!”
“怎么,年轻的女人!”罗布哇哇地哭着说道;“您也反对我吗?我做了什么事啦?我想知道,为什么要把我撕得粉碎?一个小伙子从来没有伤害过你们两人当中任何一位,你们为什么要把他掐得气都透不过来?你们还有脸称自己是妇女呢!”恐惧与苦恼的磨工用袖口擦着眼睛,说道,“你们真叫我吃惊!你们妇女的温柔到哪里去了?”
“你这条忘恩负义的狗!”布朗太太气喘吁吁地说道。“你这条不要脸的、无礼的狗!”
“我干了什么事,冒犯了您什么啦,布朗太太?”害怕的罗布反驳道。“一分钟以前您还很喜欢我呢。”
“三言两语、爱理不理的回答,绷着面孔、很不高兴的讲话,你想用这来顶撞我,堵住我的嘴,”老太婆说道。“我!就因为我对他主人和那位夫人的一些传闻感到好奇,他竟胆敢对我耍滑头!可是我不打算跟你再谈什么了,我的孩子。现在走吧!”
“说实在的,布朗太太,”悲惨可怜的磨工回答道,“我从没有暗示过我想走。布朗太太,请别那么说吧。”
“我什么话都不说了,”布朗太太说道,一边把她弯曲的手指动了动,使得他在角落里蜷缩得只及原先体积的一半大小。“我不再跟他讲一个字。他是一条忘恩负义的狗。我跟他断绝关系。现在让他走吧!我将唆使那些能说会道、能痛骂他的人,那些他没法子摆脱的人,那些像蚂蟥一般叮住他不放的人,那些像狐狸一般悄悄跟随在他后面的人来对付他。可不!他知道他们。他明白他过去的把戏和他过去的生活方式。如果他已经把它们忘掉了的话,那么他们很快就会使他记起来。现在让他走吧,有这样一群伙伴来来回回地一直跟着他,看他将怎样去为他的主人效劳,怎样去保守他主人的秘密吧。哈,哈,哈!艾丽,虽然他对你和我把嘴巴封得严严的,滴水不漏,可是他将会发现,他们是跟你和我完全不同的一类人。现在让他走吧,现在让他走吧!”
弯腰曲背的老太婆开始绕着直径为四英尺左右的圈子,一圈一圈地踱起步来,一边不断重复说着这些话,同时在她头顶挥动着拳头,嘴巴在咀嚼着;磨工看到这种情形,感到无法形容的惊愕。
“布朗太太,”罗布从角落里稍稍走出一点,哀求着,“我相信,您平心静气地再想一想以后,是不会伤害一位小伙子的吧,是不是?”
“别跟我说话,”布朗太太继续怒气冲冲地绕着圈子走着,说道,“现在让他走吧,现在让他走吧!”
“布朗太太,”苦恼的磨工苦苦哀求道,“我并不是故意要——啊,何必要让一个小伙子遭受这样的苦难!——我只不过是说话小心谨慎罢了,布朗太太,就像我平时总是小心谨慎的一样,因为他是什么都能查问出来的。说实在的,布朗太太,我是很乐意聊聊天的,可是我必须要知道,它不会从这房间里再传出去才行。”他神色可怜地说道,“请别继续这样说。唉,难道您就不能行个好,给一位小伙子说一句好话吗?”磨工在绝望中向女儿呼吁道。
“喂,妈妈,你听到他的话了吧,”她不耐烦地晃了晃脑袋,用严厉的说道,“再试他一次;如果你跟他再闹翻的话,那么如果你愿意的话,就毁了他,跟他断绝关系。”
布朗太太似乎被这个十分亲切的劝告所打动,立刻开始嚎哭起来,然后逐渐平息下来,用胳膊搂着赔礼道歉的磨工,磨工露出一副难以形容的愁眉苦脸,拥抱了她,然后像一个受害者一样(实际情况也正是这样),重新坐到原先的位子上,紧紧地挨在他的尊敬的朋友的身旁,极为勉强地装出一副亲热的面容,但却十分明显地流露出绝然相反的感情;他听凭她把他的胳膊拉到她的胳膊里,不再放开。
“主人好吗,亲爱的宝贝?”当他们这样亲睦地坐在一起,已相互祝酒干杯之后,布朗太太问道。
“嘘!请您说得轻一点好不好,布朗太太?”罗布恳求道。
“唔,我想,他很好,谢谢您。”
“这么说你没有失业,罗布?”布朗太太用甜言蜜语的声调问道。
“唔,我不能完全说是失业,也不能说是就业,”罗布支支吾吾地说道。“我——我仍旧拿工资呢,布朗太太。”
“没有什么事情做吧,罗布?”
“现在没有什么特别的事情做,布朗太太,只不过是——
张开眼睛看看罢了,”磨工可怜地转了转眼睛。
“主人到国外去了吗,罗布?”
“哎呀,请做做好事吧,布朗太太,难道您跟一位小伙子不能聊点儿别的吗?”磨工突然绝望地喊道。
急躁的布朗太太立刻站起身来;被折磨的磨工拦住她,结结巴巴地说道,“是的,是的,布朗太太,我想他是在国外。她瞪着眼睛在看什么呀?”他最后一句话是指布朗太太的女儿说的;她的眼睛正凝视着站在他背后、现在又往外看的那张脸孔。
“别管她,孩子,”老太婆说道,一边把他往身边拉得更近一些,以防他转过头去看。“那是她的习惯——她的习惯。
告诉我,罗布。你看见过那位夫人吗,亲爱的?”
“哎呀,布朗太太,哪位夫人呀?”罗布用一种乞求怜悯的声调喊道。
“哪位夫人?”她反问道。“那位夫人;董贝夫人。”
“看见过,我想我看见过她一次,”罗布回答道。
“她是在那天夜里走的,是不是,罗布?”老太婆凑近他的耳朵,说道,同时密切注视着他脸上的各种变化。“哎嘿!
我知道是在那天夜里。”
“唔,如果您知道是在那天夜里,布朗太太,”罗布回答道,“那又何必要用钳子桶进一个小伙子的嘴巴里,逼着他说出这些话来呢?”
“那天夜里他们往哪里去了,罗布?直接去国外了?他们怎样去的?你在哪里看到她的?她笑了吗?她哭了吗?把一切都告诉我。”丑老婆子喊道,一边把他往身边拉得更近一些,同时把她伸进他胳膊里的那只手轻轻拍打着她另一只手,并用模糊的眼睛注视着他脸上的每一个特征。“喂,开始讲吧。我要求你把一切统统告诉我。罗布,我的孩子!你和我能共同保守秘密的,是不是?以前我们就这样保守过。他们首先往哪里去了,罗布?”
可怜的磨工喘了一口气,沉默了一会儿。
“你是哑巴吗?”老太婆发怒地说道。
“我的天主,布朗太太,我不是哑巴!您指望一个小伙子能像闪电一样迅速。我真巴不得我自己是电流,”左右为难的磨工嘟囔道,“这样我就可以往什么人身上冲击一下,使他们立刻完蛋。”
“你说什么?”老太婆咧开嘴巴笑着,问道。
“我正在向您祝愿:我爱您,布朗太太,”虚伪的罗布回答道,一边从酒杯中寻求安慰,“您问他们首先往哪里去,是不是?您是说他和她?”
“是的!”老太婆急切地说道,“他们两人。”
“唔,他们没有往哪里去——我是说,他们不是一起走的,”罗布回答道。
老太婆看着他,仿佛她有一股强烈的冲动,想要再紧紧抓住他的头与喉咙似的,但由于看到他脸上露出一种固执的神秘的神色,她就克制着自己。
“这是策略,”很不愿意的磨工说道,“所以没有什么人看到他们走,也没有什么人能说出他们是怎样走的。我跟您说,他们是从不同的路线走的,布朗太太。”
“是的,是的,是的!这么说,是要到一个约定的地点去相会,”老太婆把他的脸孔默默地、敏锐地观察了一会儿之后,吃吃地笑道。
“可不,如果他们不是到什么地方去相会的话,我想他们干脆就待在家里得了,是不是,布朗太太?”罗布不乐意地回答道。
“唔,后来呢,罗布?后来怎么了?”老太婆把他的胳膊往她自己的胳膊里拉得更紧了一些,仿佛由于心急,她怕他会溜走似的。
“怎么,难道我们还没有谈够吗,布朗太太?”磨工回答道,他由于受委屈的感觉,由于酒的感觉,由于精神上受到难以忍受的折磨的感觉,变得很爱哭;几乎每回答一次话,他都要用衣袖擦擦这只眼睛或那只眼睛,并且低声哭泣着,表示抗议。“您问我她那天夜里笑了没有,是不是,布朗太太?”
“或者哭了没有?”老太婆点点头,补充了一句。
“既没有笑,也没有哭,”磨工说道,“她保持着镇静,当她和我——啊,我看您要把一切都从我这里掏出去了,布朗太太!可是您现在庄严地发个誓吧,您决不会把这告诉任何人。”
布朗太太生性狡猾,所以毫不为难地立刻照办;她唯一的目的只是让她的隐藏着的客人能亲自听到全部情况。
“当她跟我前往南安普敦①的时候,她保持着镇静,就像一座塑像一样。”磨工说道,“早上她完全是这样。布朗太太。当她在天亮之前独自搭乘邮船离开的时候,也完全是这样。我那时装扮成她的仆人送她平安地上了船。现在,您称心满意了吧,布朗太太?”
--------
①南安普敦(Southampton):英国港市。
“没有,罗布,还没有,”布朗太太斩钉截铁地说道。
“唉,真难对付的女人!”不幸的罗布喊道,对他自己束手无策的处境稍稍表示悲伤。“您还希望知道什么呢,布朗太太?”

  “主人怎么样了?他往哪里去了?”她问道,一边依旧紧紧地抓住他,并用敏锐的眼光仔细地注意着他的脸孔。

  “我敢发誓,我不知道,布朗太太,”罗布回答道。“我敢发誓,我不知道他做了什么事,不知道他到哪里去了,也不知道他的任何事情。我只知道当我们离别的时候,他警告我,我必须守口如瓶,决不许泄露任何情况。我以一个朋友的身份告诉您,布朗太太,如果您把我们现在所谈的话哪怕只重复说出去一个字,那么您还不如开熗打死自己,或者把您自己关在这间房子里,放火烧了它,因为他要对您报复,什么事情都是干得出来的。您不像我那么了解他,一半也没有,布朗太太。我告诉您,您休想从他手下安全无恙地逃走。”

  “我不是已经发过誓,而且要遵守誓言的吗?”老太婆反驳道。

  “唔,我确实希望您会遵守誓言,布朗太太,”罗布有几分怀疑地答道,在他的态度中不是没有暗含着几分威胁,“既为了我,也为了您自己。”

  当他向她提出这个友好的誓告的时候,他看着她,又点下头来加强它的分量。可是他紧挨着她,看着她那张发黄的脸孔和它的奇怪的动作,看着她那鼬鼠般的眼睛和它的敏锐的、苍老的、冷冰冰的眼光,心中觉得很不舒服,因此他就不自在地低垂着眼睛,坐在椅子上把脚在地上滑来滑去,仿佛他正想绷着脸宣布,他不再回答任何问题了。老太婆依旧抓住他不放,并趁着这个有利的时机,在空中举起她右手的食指,向隐藏着的客人悄悄地发出个信号,要他特别注意即将发生的事情。

  “罗布,”她用极为用心哄骗的语气说道。

  “我的天,布朗太太,现在您还想说什么?”恼怒的磨工回答道。

  “罗布,夫人和主人约定在哪里相会?”

  罗布把脚在地上更多次地滑来滑去,抬起眼睛又低垂下去,咬咬大姆指,又在背心上把它擦干,最后斜着眼睛看着折磨他的人,说道,“我怎么知道呢,布朗太太?”

  老太婆又像先前一样,举起指头,回答道,“得了吧,我的孩子!你已经跟我说了这么多。现在想半途停止是没有用的。我想要知道这一点。”——然后就等待着他的回答。

  罗布惶惑不安地沉默了一会儿,然后突然叫嚷道,“我怎么能读得出外国的地名呢,布朗太太?您是个多么不讲道理的女人啊!”

  “可是你听到过,罗贝,”她坚定地反驳道,“你知道它的发音大致是怎么样的。说吧!”

  “我从来没有听到过,布朗太太,”磨工回答道。

  “这么说,”老太婆迅速地回答道,“你看到它写出来过,你能拼写出来。”

  罗布暴躁地大叫了一声,既不像笑,又不像哭,因为他虽然经受了这样的拷问,但对布朗太太狡黠的头脑却深深地钦佩。他在背心口袋中不乐意地摸索了一会之后,从里面掏出一小支粉笔。当老太婆看到他用大姆指与食指紧握着它的时候,她高兴得眼睛炯炯有神,急忙在松木板的桌子上擦干净一小块地方,好让他把那个地名写在那里,并又一次用颤抖的手发出了信号。

  “现在我得事先跟您说,布朗太太,”罗布说道,“您用不着再问我其他问题。我不会再回答其他问题,因为我不能回答。他们要多久才能相会,或者他们各自单独前往是谁出的主意,我都不比您知道得更多。我对这些事情完全不知道。如果我告诉您我是怎么发现这个地名的话,那么您就会相信这一点的。我是不是告诉您,布朗太太?”

  “说吧,罗布。”

  “好吧,布朗太太。事情是这样的——您知道吗,不要再向我提问题了?”罗布望着她,说道;他的眼睛现在很快就变得昏昏欲睡,迟钝无神了。

  “一个字也不问了,”布朗太太说道。

  “那好吧,事情是这样的:当某个人离开夫人和我的时候,他把上面写着地点的一片纸塞到她手里,说唯恐她会把它忘记。她并不担心会忘记,因为他刚一转身,她就把它撕了。当我把马车阶蹬翻折回去的时候,我抖落了一小张她撕碎的纸片——其余撕碎的纸片我想她都撒到窗子外面去了,因为后来我想找它们,却什么也没找到。在这一小片纸上只写着一个词儿,如果您非要知道它不可,我就把它写出来。可是记住!您得遵守您的誓言,布朗太太!”

  布朗太太说,她知道这一点;罗布没有别的话要说了,就开始用粉笔在桌子上慢吞吞地、费劲地写起来。

  “D,”当他写完这个字母的时候,老太婆大声地念出来。

  “您住嘴好不好,布朗太太?”他用手遮住字母,并不耐烦地转向她,喊道。“我不愿意把它念出来。安安静静的,好不好?”

  “那就写得大一些,罗布,”她回答道,一边又重复着发出她的信号;“因为我的眼睛不好,哪怕是印刷的字体,我也辨别不清。”

  罗布自言自语地嘟囔了几句,很不高兴地转回去工作,继续写出那个词儿。当他低下头去的时候,那位他向他提供情报、而他却一无所知的人,慢慢地从他后面的门中走出来,和他的肩膀只隔开一步距离,并急切地注视着他的手在桌子上徐徐蠕动。在这同时,艾丽斯从对面椅子上密切注视着他写下的字母,不发出大声地把它一个个念出来。当每一个字母写完的时候,她的眼光都要和董贝先生的眼光相遇,仿佛他们两人都想要相互验证似的。就这样,他们两人都拼得了D.I.J.O.N.(第戎)①。

  --------

  ①第戎出(Dijon):法国城市。

  “写完了!”磨工说道,一边急忙在手掌中吐了一口唾沫,以便把这个写下的词儿抹去;他把它涂得模糊不清还不满足,还用衣袖去擦它的一切痕迹,直到粉笔的颜色都从桌子上消失为止。“现在我希望您心满意足了吧,布朗太太!”

  老太婆为了表示满意,放松了他的胳膊,拍拍他的背;磨工因为刚才受到屈辱、盘问,又喝了酒,这时精疲力竭,就在桌子上合抱着胳膊,并把头枕在胳膊上,睡着了。

  等到他已睡得很熟,并发出很响的鼾声时,老太婆才转向董贝先生暗藏在那里的门,向他打个招呼,要他穿过房间,走出去。甚至在这时候,她还继续在罗布周围打转,并做好了准备,如果董贝先生向门口悄然走去的时候,罗布抬起头来的话,那么她就用手蒙住他的眼睛或把他的头猛打下去。不过她的眼睛虽然敏锐地注视着睡着的人,但却也同样敏锐地注视着醒着的人。董贝先生虽然小心谨慎,但是当他的手碰到她的手时,却仍然发出了金子的叮当响声,这时候她的眼光就像一个大乌鸦的眼光一样明亮和贪婪。

  女儿的阴沉的眼光伴送他到门口,清楚地注意到他的脸色十分苍白;他的急促的步伐表明,最短暂的耽搁他都难以忍受;他急煎煎地要离开这里去采取行动。当他把他后面的门关上的时候,她回过头来看着她的母亲。老太婆小步跑向她的身边,伸开手掌让她看看里面是什么,然后又戒备地、贪婪地把它紧紧地握在手心,低声问道:

  “他将会做什么呢,艾丽?”

  “凶恶的行为,”女儿回答道。

  “暗杀吗?”老太婆问道。

  “他的高傲受到了伤害,现在已成了个疯子;我们不知道,他自己也不知道,他会干出什么事来。”

  她的眼光比她母亲的眼光更明亮;在她眼中燃烧的火焰也更猛烈;可是她的脸孔、甚至她的嘴唇,却毫无血色。

  她们不再说什么;但却隔开坐着;母亲在细细玩赏着她的钱;女儿则在沉思着;她们两人的眼光都在这光线微弱的房间的昏暗中闪耀着。罗布睡着,并打着鼾。只有无人理睬的鹦鹉在动作。它用钩形的嘴把笼子的金属丝扭弯并拽着它,然后爬到圆形的笼顶里,像一只苍蝇一样沿着笼顶爬着,然后又下来,头冲着前面,摇晃着和咬着每根细长的金属丝,发出格格的响声,仿佛它知道它的主人正处在危险之中,因此它急切地想要打开一条出路,飞出去,警告他注意提防。

慕若涵

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Chapter 53
More Intelligence
There were two of the traitor's own blood - his renounced brother and sister - on whom the weight of his guilt rested almost more heavily, at this time, than on the man whom he had so deeply injured. Prying and tormenting as the world was, it did Mr Dombey the service of nerving him to pursuit and revenge. It roused his passion, stung his pride, twisted the one idea of his life into a new shape, and made some gratification of his wrath, the object into which his whole intellectual existence resolved itself. All the stubbornness and implacability of his nature, all its hard impenetrable quality, all its gloom and moroseness, all its exaggerated sense of personal importance, all its jealous disposition to resent the least flaw in the ample recognition of his importance by others, set this way like many streams united into one, and bore him on upon their tide. The most impetuously passionate and violently impulsive of mankind would have been a milder enemy to encounter than the sullen Mr Dombey wrought to this. A wild beast would have been easier turned or soothed than the grave gentleman without a wrinkle in his starched cravat.
But the very intensity of his purpose became almost a substitute for action in it. While he was yet uninformed of the traitor's retreat, it served to divert his mind from his own calamity, and to entertain it with another prospect. The brother and sister of his false favourite had no such relief; everything in their history, past and present, gave his delinquency a more afflicting meaning to them.
The sister may have sometimes sadly thought that if she had remained with him, the companion and friend she had been once, he might have escaped the crime into which he had fallen. If she ever thought so, it was still without regret for what she had done, without the least doubt of her duty, without any pricing or enhancing of her self-devotion. But when this possibility presented itself to the erring and repentant brother, as it sometimes did, it smote upon his heart with such a keen, reproachful touch as he could hardly bear. No idea of retort upon his cruel brother came into his mind. New accusation of himself, fresh inward lamentings over his own unworthiness, and the ruin in which it was at once his consolation and his self-reproach that he did not stand alone, were the sole kind of reflections to which the discovery gave rise in him.
It was on the very same day whose evening set upon the last chapter, and when Mr Dombey's world was busiest with the elopement of his wife, that the window of the room in which the brother and sister sat at their early breakfast, was darkened by the unexpected shadow of a man coming to the little porch: which man was Perch the Messenger.
'I've stepped over from Balls Pond at a early hour,' said Mr Perch, confidentially looking in at the room door, and stopping on the mat to wipe his shoes all round, which had no mud upon them, 'agreeable to my instructions last night. They was, to be sure and bring a note to you, Mr Carker, before you went out in the morning. I should have been here a good hour and a half ago,' said Mr Perch, meekly, 'but fOr the state of health of Mrs P., who I thought I should have lost in the night, I do assure you, five distinct times.'
'Is your wife so ill?' asked Harriet.
'Why, you see,' said Mr Perch, first turning round to shut the door carefully, 'she takes what has happened in our House so much to heart, Miss. Her nerves is so very delicate, you see, and soon unstrung. Not but what the strongest nerves had good need to be shook, I'm sure. You feel it very much yourself, no doubts.
Harriet repressed a sigh, and glanced at her brother.
'I'm sure I feel it myself, in my humble way,' Mr Perch went on to say, with a shake of his head, 'in a manner I couldn't have believed if I hadn't been called upon to undergo. It has almost the effect of drink upon me. I literally feels every morning as if I had been taking more than was good for me over-night.'
Mr Perch's appearance corroborated this recital of his symptoms. There was an air of feverish lassitude about it, that seemed referable to drams; and, which, in fact, might no doubt have been traced to those numerous discoveries of himself in the bars of public-houses, being treated and questioned, which he was in the daily habit of making.
'Therefore I can judge,' said Mr Perch, shaking his head and speaking in a silvery murmur, 'of the feelings of such as is at all peculiarly sitiwated in this most painful rewelation.'
Here Mr Perch waited to be confided in; and receiving no confidence, coughed behind his hand. This leading to nothing, he coughed behind his hat; and that leading to nothing, he put his hat on the ground and sought in his breast pocket for the letter.
'If I rightly recollect, there was no answer,' said Mr Perch, with an affable smile; 'but perhaps you'll be so good as cast your eye over it, Sir.'
John Carker broke the seal, which was Mr Dombey's, and possessing himself of the contents, which were very brief, replied,
'No. No answer is expected.'
'Then I shall wish you good morning, Miss,' said Perch, taking a step toward the door, and hoping, I'm sure, that you'll not permit yourself to be more reduced in mind than you can help, by the late painful rewelation. The Papers,' said Mr Perch, taking two steps back again, and comprehensively addressing both the brother and sister in a whisper of increased mystery, 'is more eager for news of it than you'd suppose possible. One of the Sunday ones, in a blue cloak and a white hat, that had previously offered for to bribe me - need I say with what success? - was dodging about our court last night as late as twenty minutes after eight o'clock. I see him myself, with his eye at the counting-house keyhole, which being patent is impervious. Another one,' said Mr Perch, 'with military frogs, is in the parlour of the King's Arms all the blessed day. I happened, last week, to let a little obserwation fall there, and next morning, which was Sunday, I see it worked up in print, in a most surprising manner.'
Mr Perch resorted to his breast pocket, as if to produce the paragraph but receiving no encouragement, pulled out his beaver gloves, picked up his hat, and took his leave; and before it was high noon, Mr Perch had related to several select audiences at the King's Arms and elsewhere, how Miss Carker, bursting into tears, had caught him by both hands, and said, 'Oh! dear dear Perch, the sight of you is all the comfort I have left!' and how Mr John Carker had said, in an awful voice, 'Perch, I disown him. Never let me hear hIm mentioned as a brother more!'
'Dear John,' said Harriet, when they were left alone, and had remained silent for some few moments. 'There are bad tidings in that letter.'
'Yes. But nothing unexpected,' he replied. 'I saw the writer
yesterday.'
'The writer?'
'Mr Dombey. He passed twice through the Counting House while I was there. I had been able to avoid him before, but of course could not hope to do that long. I know how natural it was that he should regard my presence as something offensive; I felt it must be so, myself.'
'He did not say so?'
'No; he said nothing: but I saw that his glance rested on me for a moment, and I was prepared for what would happen - for what has happened. I am dismissed!'
She looked as little shocked and as hopeful as she could, but it was distressing news, for many reasons.
'"I need not tell you"' said John Carker, reading the letter, '"why your name would henceforth have an unnatural sound, in however remote a connexion with mine, or why the daily sight of anyone who bears it, would be unendurable to me. I have to notify the cessation of all engagements between us, from this date, and to request that no renewal of any communication with me, or my establishment, be ever attempted by you." - Enclosed is an equivalent in money to a generously long notice, and this is my discharge." Heaven knows, Harriet, it is a lenient and considerate one, when we remember all!'
'If it be lenient and considerate to punish you at all, John, for the misdeed of another,' she replied gently, 'yes.'
'We have been an ill-omened race to him,' said John Carker. 'He has reason to shrink from the sound of our name, and to think that there is something cursed and wicked in our blood. I should almost think it too, Harriet, but for you.'
'Brother, don't speak like this. If you have any special reason, as you say you have, and think you have - though I say, No!- to love me, spare me the hearing of such wild mad words!'
He covered his face with both his hands; but soon permitted her, coming near him, to take one in her own.
'After so many years, this parting is a melancholy thing, I know,' said his sister, 'and the cause of it is dreadful to us both. We have to live, too, and must look about us for the means. Well, well! We can do so, undismayed. It is our pride, not our trouble, to strive, John, and to strive together!'
A smile played on her lips, as she kissed his cheek, and entreated him to be of of good cheer.
'Oh, dearest sister! Tied, of your own noble will, to a ruined man! whose reputation is blighted; who has no friend himself, and has driven every friend of yours away!'
'John!' she laid her hand hastily upon his lips, 'for my sake! In remembrance of our long companionship!' He was silent 'Now, let me tell you, dear,' quietly sitting by his side, 'I have, as you have, expected this; and when I have been thinking of it, and fearing that it would happen, and preparing myself for it, as well as I could, I have resolved to tell you, if it should be so, that I have kept a secret from you, and that we have a friend.'
'What's our friend's name, Harriet?' he answered with a sorrowful
smile.
'Indeed, I don't know, but he once made a very earnest protestation to me of his friendship and his wish to serve us: and to this day I believe 'him.'
'Harriet!' exclaimed her wondering brother, 'where does this friend
live?'
'Neither do I know that,' she returned. 'But he knows us both, and our history - all our little history, John. That is the reason why, at his own suggestion, I have kept the secret of his coming, here, from you, lest his acquaintance with it should distress you.
'Here! Has he been here, Harriet?'
'Here, in this room. Once.'
'What kind of man?'
'Not young. "Grey-headed," as he said, "and fast growing greyer." But generous, and frank, and good, I am sure.'
'And only seen once, Harriet?'
'In this room only once,' said his sister, with the slightest and most transient glow upon her cheek; 'but when here, he entreated me to suffer him to see me once a week as he passed by, in token of our being well, and continuing to need nothing at his hands. For I told him, when he proffered us any service he could render - which was the object of his visit - that we needed nothing.'
'And once a week - '
'Once every week since then, and always on the same day, and at the same hour, he his gone past; always on foot; always going in the same direction - towards London; and never pausing longer than to bow to me, and wave his hand cheerfully, as a kind guardian might. He made that promise when he proposed these curious interviews, and has kept it so faithfully and pleasantly, that if I ever felt any trifling uneasiness about them in the beginning (which I don't think I did, John; his manner was so plain and true) It very soon vanished, and left me quite glad when the day was coming. Last Monday - the first since this terrible event - he did not go by; and I have wondered whether his absence can have been in any way connected with what has happened.'
'How?' inquired her brother.
'I don't know how. I have only speculated on the coincidence; I have not tried to account for it. I feel sure he will return. When he does, dear John, let me tell him that I have at last spoken to you, and let me bring you together. He will certainly help us to a new livelihood. His entreaty was that he might do something to smooth my life and yours; and I gave him my promise that if we ever wanted a friend, I would remember him.'
'Then his name was to be no secret, 'Harriet,' said her brother, who had listened with close attention, 'describe this gentleman to me. I surely ought to know one who knows me so well.'
His sister painted, as vividly as she could, the features, stature, and dress of her visitor; but John Carker, either from having no knowledge of the original, or from some fault in her description, or from some abstraction of his thoughts as he walked to and fro, pondering, could not recognise the portrait she presented to him.
However, it was agreed between them that he should see the original when he next appeared. This concluded, the sister applied herself, with a less anxious breast, to her domestic occupations; and the grey-haired man, late Junior of Dombey's, devoted the first day of his unwonted liberty to working in the garden.
It was quite late at night, and the brother was reading aloud while the sister plied her needle, when they were interrupted by a knocking at the door. In the atmosphere of vague anxiety and dread that lowered about them in connexion with their fugitive brother, this sound, unusual there, became almost alarming. The brother going to the door, the sister sat and listened timidly. Someone spoke to him, and he replied and seemed surprised; and after a few words, the two approached together.
'Harriet,' said her brother, lighting in their late visitor, and speaking in a low voice, 'Mr Morfin - the gentleman so long in Dombey's House with James.'
His sister started back, as if a ghost had entered. In the doorway stood the unknown friend, with the dark hair sprinkled with grey, the ruddy face, the broad clear brow, and hazel eyes, whose secret she had kept so long!
'John!' she said, half-breathless. 'It is the gentleman I told you of, today!'
'The gentleman, Miss Harriet,' said the visitor, coming in - for he had stopped a moment in the doorway - 'is greatly relieved to hear you say that: he has been devising ways and means, all the way here, of explaining himself, and has been satisfied with none. Mr John, I am not quite a stranger here. You were stricken with astonishment when you saw me at your door just now. I observe you are more astonished at present. Well! That's reasonable enough under existing circumstances. If we were not such creatures of habit as we are, we shouldn't have reason to be astonished half so often.'
By this time, he had greeted Harriet with that able mingling of cordiality and respect which she recollected so well, and had sat down near her, pulled off his gloves, and thrown them into his hat upon the table.
'There's nothing astonishing,' he said, 'in my having conceived a desire to see your sister, Mr John, or in my having gratified it in my own way. As to the regularity of my visits since (which she may have mentioned to you), there is nothing extraordinary in that. They soon grew into a habit; and we are creatures of habit - creatures of habit!'
Putting his hands into his pockets, and leaning back in his chair, he looked at the brother and sister as if it were interesting to him to see them together; and went on to say, with a kind of irritable thoughtfulness:
'It's this same habit that confirms some of us, who are capable of better things, in Lucifer's own pride and stubbornness - that confirms and deepens others of us in villainy - more of us in indifference - that hardens us from day to day, according to the temper of our clay, like images, and leaves us as susceptible as images to new impressions and convictions. You shall judge of its influence on me, John. For more years than I need name, I had my small, and exactly defined share, in the management of Dombey's House, and saw your brother (who has proved himself a scoundrel! Your sister will forgive my being obliged to mention it) extending and extending his influence, until the business and its owner were his football; and saw you toiling at your obscure desk every day; and was quite content to be as little troubled as I might be, out of my own strip of duty, and to let everything about me go on, day by day, unquestioned, like a great machine - that was its habit and mine - and to take it all for granted, and consider it all right. My Wednesday nights came regularly round, our quartette parties came regularly off, my violoncello was in good tune, and there was nothing wrong in my world - or if anything not much - or little or much, it was no affair of mine.'
'I can answer for your being more respected and beloved during all that time than anybody in the House, Sir,' said John Carker.
'Pooh! Good-natured and easy enough, I daresay,'returned the other, 'a habit I had. It suited the Manager; it suited the man he managed: it suited me best of all. I did what was allotted to me to do, made no court to either of them, and was glad to occupy a station in which none was required. So I should have gone on till now, but that my room had a thin wall. You can tell your sister that it was divided from the Manager's room by a wainscot partition.'
'They were adjoining rooms; had been one, Perhaps, originally; and were separated, as Mr Morfin says,' said her brother, looking back to him for the resumption of his explanation.
'I have whistled, hummed tunes, gone accurately through the whole of Beethoven's Sonata in B,' to let him know that I was within hearing,' said Mr Morfin; 'but he never heeded me. It happened seldom enough that I was within hearing of anything of a private nature, certainly. But when I was, and couldn't otherwise avoid knowing something of it, I walked out. I walked out once, John, during a conversation between two brothers, to which, in the beginning, young Walter Gay was a party. But I overheard some of it before I left the room. You remember it sufficiently, perhaps, to tell your sister what its nature was?'
'It referred, Harriet,' said her brother in a low voice, 'to the past, and to our relative positions in the House.'
'Its matter was not new to me, but was presented in a new aspect. It shook me in my habit - the habit of nine-tenths of the world - of believing that all was right about me, because I was used to it,' said their visitor; 'and induced me to recall the history of the two brothers, and to ponder on it. I think it was almost the first time in my life when I fell into this train of reflection - how will many things that are familiar, and quite matters of course to us now, look, when we come to see them from that new and distant point of view which we must all take up, one day or other? I was something less good-natured, as the phrase goes, after that morning, less easy and complacent altogether.'
He sat for a minute or so, drumming with one hand on the table; and resumed in a hurry, as if he were anxious to get rid of his confession.
'Before I knew what to do, or whether I could do anything, there was a second conversation between the same two brothers, in which their sister was mentioned. I had no scruples of conscience in suffering all the waifs and strays of that conversation to float to me as freely as they would. I considered them mine by right. After that, I came here to see the sister for myself. The first time I stopped at the garden gate, I made a pretext of inquiring into the character of a poor neighbour; but I wandered out of that tract, and I think Miss Harriet mistrusted me. The second time I asked leave to come in; came in; and said what I wished to say. Your sister showed me reasons which I dared not dispute, for receiving no assistance from me then; but I established a means of communication between us, which remained unbroken until within these few days, when I was prevented, by important matters that have lately devolved upon me, from maintaining them'
'How little I have suspected this,' said John Carker, 'when I have seen you every day, Sir! If Harriet could have guessed your name - '
'Why, to tell you the truth, John,' interposed the visitor, 'I kept it to myself for two reasons. I don't know that the first might have been binding alone; but one has no business to take credit for good intentions, and I made up my mind, at all events, not to disclose myself until I should be able to do you some real service or other. My second reason was, that I always hoped there might be some lingering possibility of your brother's relenting towards you both; and in that case, I felt that where there was the chance of a man of his suspicious, watchful character, discovering that you had been secretly befriended by me, there was the chance of a new and fatal cause of division. I resolved, to be sure, at the risk of turning his displeasure against myself - which would have been no matter - to watch my opportunity of serving you with the head of the House; but the distractions of death, courtship, marriage, and domestic unhappiness, have left us no head but your brother for this long, long time. And it would have been better for us,' said the visitor, dropping his voice, 'to have been a lifeless trunk.'
He seemed conscious that these latter words had escaped hIm against his will, and stretching out a hand to the brother, and a hand to the sister, continued: 'All I could desire to say, and more, I have now said. All I mean goes beyond words, as I hope you understand and believe. The time has come, John - though most unfortunately and unhappily come - when I may help you without interfering with that redeeming struggle, which has lasted through so many years; since you were discharged from it today by no act of your own. It is late; I need say no more to-night. You will guard the treasure you have here, without advice or reminder from me.'
With these words he rose to go.
'But go you first, John,' he said goodhumouredly, 'with a light, without saying what you want to say, whatever that maybe;' John Carker's heart was full, and he would have relieved it in speech,' if he could; 'and let me have a word with your sister. We have talked alone before, and in this room too; though it looks more natural with you here.'
Following him out with his eyes, he turned kindly to Harriet, and said in a lower voice, and with an altered and graver manner:
'You wish to ask me something of the man whose sister it is your misfortune to be.'
'I dread to ask,' said Harriet.
'You have looked so earnestly at me more than once,' rejoined the visitor, 'that I think I can divine your question. Has he taken money? Is it that?'
'Yes.'
'He has not.'
'I thank Heaven!' said Harriet. 'For the sake of John.'
'That he has abused his trust in many ways,' said Mr Morfin; 'that he has oftener dealt and speculated to advantage for himself, than for the House he represented; that he has led the House on, to prodigious ventures, often resulting in enormous losses; that he has always pampered the vanity and ambition of his employer, when it was his duty to have held them in check, and shown, as it was in his power to do, to what they tended here or there; will not, perhaps, surprise you now. Undertakings have been entered on, to swell the reputation of the House for vast resources, and to exhibit it in magnificent contrast to other merchants' Houses, of which it requires a steady head to contemplate the possibly - a few disastrous changes of affairs might render them the probably - ruinous consequences. In the midst of the many transactions of the House, in most parts of the world: a great labyrinth of which only he has held the clue: he has had the opportunity, and he seems to have used it, of keeping the various results afloat, when ascertained, and substituting estimates and generalities for facts. But latterly - you follow me, Miss Harriet?'
'Perfectly, perfectly,' she answered, with her frightened face fixed on his. 'Pray tell me all the worst at once.
'Latterly, he appears to have devoted the greatest pains to making these results so plain and clear, that reference to the private books enables one to grasp them, numerous and varying as they are, with extraordinary ease. As if he had resolved to show his employer at one broad view what has been brought upon him by ministration to his ruling passion! That it has been his constant practice to minister to that passion basely, and to flatter it corruptly, is indubitable. In that, his criminality, as it is connected with the affairs of the House, chiefly consists.'
'One other word before you leave me, dear Sir,' said Harriet. 'There is no danger in all this?'
'How danger?' he returned, with a little hesitation.
'To the credit of the House?'
'I cannot help answering you plainly, and trusting you completely,' said Mr Morfin, after a moment's survey of her face.
'You may. Indeed you may!'
'I am sure I may. Danger to the House's credit? No; none There may be difficulty, greater or less difficulty, but no danger, unless - unless, indeed - the head of the House, unable to bring his mind to the reduction of its enterprises, and positively refusing to believe that it is, or can be, in any position but the position in which he has always represented it to himself, should urge it beyond its strength. Then it would totter.'
'But there is no apprehension of that?' said Harriet.
'There shall be no half-confidence,' he replied, shaking her hand, 'between us. Mr Dombey is unapproachable by anyone, and his state of mind is haughty, rash, unreasonable, and ungovernable, now. But he is disturbed and agitated now beyond all common bounds, and it may pass. You now know all, both worst and best. No more to-night, and good-night!'
With that he kissed her hand, and, passing out to the door where her brother stood awaiting his coming, put him cheerfully aside when he essayed to speak; told him that, as they would see each other soon and often, he might speak at another time, if he would, but there was no leisure for it then; and went away at a round pace, in order that no word of gratitude might follow him.
The brother and sister sat conversing by the fireside, until it was almost day; made sleepless by this glimpse of the new world that opened before them, and feeling like two people shipwrecked long ago, upon a solitary coast, to whom a ship had come at last, when they were old in resignation, and had lost all thought of any other home. But another and different kind of disquietude kept them waking too. The darkness out of which this light had broken on them gathered around; and the shadow of their guilty brother was in the house where his foot had never trod.
Nor was it to be driven out, nor did it fade before the sun. Next morning it was there; at noon; at night Darkest and most distinct at night, as is now to be told.
John Carker had gone out, in pursuance of a letter of appointment from their friend, and Harriet was left in the house alone. She had been alone some hours. A dull, grave evening, and a deepening twilight, were not favourable to the removal of the oppression on her spirits. The idea of this brother, long unseen and unknown, flitted about her in frightful shapes He was dead, dying, calling to her, staring at her, frowning on her. The pictures in her mind were so obtrusive and exact that, as the twilight deepened, she dreaded to raise her head and look at the dark corners of the room, lest his wraith, the offspring of her excited imagination, should be waiting there, to startle her. Once she had such a fancy of his being in the next room, hiding - though she knew quite well what a distempered fancy it was, and had no belief in it - that she forced herself to go there, for her own conviction. But in vain. The room resumed its shadowy terrors, the moment she left it; and she had no more power to divest herself of these vague impressions of dread, than if they had been stone giants, rooted in the solid earth.
It was almost dark, and she was sitting near the window, with her head upon her hand, looking down, when, sensible of a sudden increase in the gloom of the apartment, she raised her eyes, and uttered an involuntary cry. Close to the glass, a pale scared face gazed in; vacantly, for an instant, as searching for an object; then the eyes rested on herself, and lighted up.
'Let me in! Let me in! I want to speak to you!' and the hand rattled on the glass.
She recognised immediately the woman with the long dark hair, to whom she had given warmth, food, and shelter, one wet night. Naturally afraid of her, remembering her violent behaviour, Harriet, retreating a little from the window, stood undecided and alarmed.
'Let me in! Let me speak to you! I am thankful - quiet - humble - anything you like. But let me speak to you.'
The vehement manner of the entreaty, the earnest expression of the face, the trembling of the two hands that were raised imploringly, a certain dread and terror in the voice akin to her own condition at the moment, prevailed with Harriet. She hastened to the door and opened it.
'May I come in, or shall I speak here?' said the woman, catching at her hand.
'What is it that you want? What is it that you have to say?'
'Not much, but let me say it out, or I shall never say it. I am tempted now to go away. There seem to be hands dragging me from the door. Let me come in, if you can trust me for this once!'
Her energy again prevailed, and they passed into the firelight of the little kitchen, where she had before sat, and ate, and dried her clothes.
'Sit there,' said Alice, kneeling down beside her, 'and look at me. You remember me?'
'I do.'
'You remember what I told you I had been, and where I came from, ragged and lame, with the fierce wind and weather beating on my head?'
'Yes.'
'You know how I came back that night, and threw your money in the dirt, and you and your race. Now, see me here, upon my knees. Am l less earnest now, than I was then?'
'If what you ask,' said Harriet, gently, 'is forgiveness - '
'But it's not!' returned the other, with a proud, fierce look 'What I ask is to be believed. Now you shall judge if I am worthy of belief, both as I was, and as I am.'
Still upon her knees, and with her eyes upon the fire, and the fire shining on her ruined beauty and her wild black hair, one long tress of which she pulled over her shoulder, and wound about her hand, and thoughtfully bit and tore while speaking, she went on:
'When I was young and pretty, and this,' plucking contemptuously at the hair she held, was only handled delicately, and couldn't be admired enough, my mother, who had not been very mindful of me as a child, found out my merits, and was fond of me, and proud of me. She was covetous and poor, and thought to make a sort of property of me. No great lady ever thought that of a daughter yet, I'm sure, or acted as if she did - it's never done, we all know - and that shows that the only instances of mothers bringing up their daughters wrong, and evil coming of it, are among such miserable folks as us.'
Looking at the fire, as if she were forgetful, for the moment, of having any auditor, she continued in a dreamy way, as she wound the long tress of hair tight round and round her hand.
'What came of that, I needn't say. Wretched marriages don't come of such things, in our degree; only wretchedness and ruin. Wretchedness and ruin came on me - came on me.
Raising her eyes swiftly from their moody gaze upon the fire, to Harriet's face, she said:
'I am wasting time, and there is none to spare; yet if I hadn't thought of all, I shouldn't be here now. Wretchedness and ruin came on me, I say. I was made a short-lived toy, and flung aside more cruelly and carelessly than even such things are. By whose hand do you think?'
'Why do you ask me?' said Harriet.
'Why do you tremble?' rejoined Alice, with an eager look. 'His usage made a Devil of me. I sunk in wretchedness and ruin, lower and lower yet. I was concerned in a robbery - in every part of it but the gains - and was found out, and sent to be tried, without a friend, without a penny. Though I was but a girl, I would have gone to Death, sooner than ask him for a word, if a word of his could have saved me. I would! To any death that could have been invented. But my mother, covetous always, sent to him in my name, told the true story of my case, and humbly prayed and petitioned for a small last gift - for not so many pounds as I have fingers on this hand. Who was it, do you think, who snapped his fingers at me in my misery, lying, as he believed, at his feet, and left me without even this poor sign of remembrance; well satisfied that I should be sent abroad, beyond the reach of farther trouble to him, and should die, and rot there? Who was this, do you think?'
'Why do you ask me?' repeated Harriet.
'Why do you tremble?' said Alice, laying her hand upon her arm' and looking in her face, 'but that the answer is on your lips! It was your brother James.
Harriet trembled more and more, but did not avert her eyes from the eager look that rested on them.
'When I knew you were his sister - which was on that night - I came back, weary and lame, to spurn your gift. I felt that night as if I could have travelled, weary and lame, over the whole world, to stab him, if I could have found him in a lonely place with no one near. Do you believe that I was earnest in all that?'
'I do! Good Heaven, why are you come again?'
'Since then,' said Alice, with the same grasp of her arm, and the same look in her face, 'I have seen him! I have followed him with my eyes, In the broad day. If any spark of my resentment slumbered in my bosom, it sprung into a blaze when my eyes rested on him. You know he has wronged a proud man, and made him his deadly enemy. What if I had given information of him to that man?'
'Information!' repeated Harriet.
'What if I had found out one who knew your brother's secret; who knew the manner of his flight, who knew where he and the companion of his flight were gone? What if I had made him utter all his knowledge, word by word, before his enemy, concealed to hear it? What if I had sat by at the time, looking into this enemy's face, and seeing it change till it was scarcely human? What if I had seen him rush away, mad, in pursuit? What if I knew, now, that he was on his road, more fiend than man, and must, in so many hours, come up with him?'
'Remove your hand!' said Harriet, recoiling. 'Go away! Your touch is dreadful to me!'
'I have done this,' pursued the other, with her eager look, regardless of the interruption. 'Do I speak and look as if I really had? Do you believe what I am saying?'
'I fear I must. Let my arm go!'
'Not yet. A moment more. You can think what my revengeful purpose must have been, to last so long, and urge me to do this?'
'Dreadful!' said Harriet.
'Then when you see me now,' said Alice hoarsely, 'here again, kneeling quietly on the ground, with my touch upon your arm, with my eyes upon your face, you may believe that there is no common earnestness in what I say, and that no common struggle has been battling in my breast. I am ashamed to speak the words, but I relent. I despise myself; I have fought with myself all day, and all last night; but I relent towards him without reason, and wish to repair what I have done, if it is possible. I wouldn't have them come together while his pursuer is so blind and headlong. If you had seen him as he went out last night, you would know the danger better.
'How can it be prevented? What can I do?' cried Harriet.
'All night long,' pursued the other, hurriedly, 'I had dreams of him - and yet I didn't sleep - in his blood. All day, I have had him near me.
'What can I do?' cried Harriet, shuddering at these words.
'If there is anyone who'll write, or send, or go to him, let them lose no time. He is at Dijon. Do you know the name, and where it is?'
'Yes.'
'Warn him that the man he has made his enemy is in a frenzy, and that he doesn't know him if he makes light of his approach. Tell him that he is on the road - I know he is! - and hurrying on. Urge him to get away while there is time - if there is time - and not to meet him yet. A month or so will make years of difference. Let them not encounter, through me. Anywhere but there! Any time but now! Let his foe follow him, and find him for himself, but not through me! There is enough upon my head without.'
The fire ceased to be reflected in her jet black hair, uplifted face, and eager eyes; her hand was gone from Harriet's arm; and the place where she had been was empty.
叛逆者的两个亲属——被他抛弃的哥哥和姐姐——这时候比被他伤害了的那个人更沉重地感受到他的罪恶的压力。社会虽然喜爱刺探阴私,折磨人们,但是它却激励董贝先生去追寻和报复他的仇人。它激发他的愤怒,刺痛他的高傲,把他生活的一个观念转变成一种新的形式;解愤息怒就成了他全部思想活动的目的。他的性格中所有那些固执与难以改变的特点,它的所有那些难于接受他人意见的脾气,它的所有那些阴沉与乖戾的特色,它的那种过分自尊自大的意识,它的所有那种容易猜忌的性情(别人对他的重要地位的充分尊重中有一点疏漏都会引起他的愤恨),都像许多溪流一样,沿着这个方向,汇合成了一条大河,载着他沿着潮流前进。最暴躁易怒和感情冲动的人与处于这种状态中的闷闷不乐的董贝先生相比,都显得是一个比较温和的敌人。一头不驯服的野兽也要比这个佩戴着没有一丝皱褶的领带的庄严的绅士更容易阻拦和安抚。
不过他这种强烈的意图本身几乎就可以代替行动。当他还不知道叛逆者躲藏到什么地方的时候,它帮助他转移对他自己不幸的注意,而去思考其他方面的问题。他的奸诈的受他宠信的人的哥哥和姐姐却没有这样的安慰。他们过去的历史和现在的生活中发生的一切事情,使得他的罪行对他们来说有了一种更为痛苦的意义。
姐姐有时可能会悲伤地想到,如果她像过去曾经一度那样,作为他的伴侣和朋友,和他住在一起的话,那么他可能会避免犯下这桩罪行。如果她曾经这样想过的话,那么她仍然没有悔恨过她做过的事情,丝毫没有怀疑过她所尽的责任,也没有评价或夸大过她的自我牺牲精神。可是当犯过错误、感到悔恨的哥哥有时想到有这种可能性的时候,这种想法却重重地打击着他的心,引起他尖锐的自我谴责,使他几乎无法忍受。他从没有对他残酷的弟弟的不幸报复性地感到幸灾乐祸。这一事件暴露以后,在他内心所引起的活动仅仅是重新谴责自己,再一次为他自己过去的卑劣行径默默哀叹;与他共同承受这一厄运的不是他单独一人,这既给他带来安慰,又引起他的自责。
就在我们在上一章叙述过它的晚上的情况的同一天,当董贝先生所属的上流社会正满城风雨地传播着他妻子私奔的消息,哥哥和姐姐正坐在房间里吃早饭的时候,窗外突然闪过一个意料不到的人影,正向小小的门廊里走来,这人就是信差珀奇先生。
“我今天大清早就从鲍尔斯池塘出发到这里来了,”珀奇先生说道,一边带着秘密的神气往房间里面探望,同时在门口的擦鞋棕垫上停下脚步,仔细地擦着鞋子,其实鞋上并没有什么泥土,“这是遵照我在昨天夜里接到的命令。我奉命在您今天早上出门之前一定得把这封短信交给您,卡克先生;要不是珀奇太太身体不好,我本应当在一个半钟头以前就到达这里的,”珀奇先生温顺地说道,“说实在的,这一夜我有五次几乎要失去她。”
“您的太太病得这么厉害吗?”哈里特问道。
“唔,您看,”珀奇先生首先转过身去,把门小心地关上,然后说道,“我们公司里发生的事情她太放在心上了,小姐。您知道,她的神经是很敏感的,所以很快就混乱了。不过,说实在的,只有最坚强的神经才能经受得起这种震惊。毫无疑问,您本人也一定会感到很忧伤的。”
哈里特忍住叹息,向她的弟弟看了一眼。
“说实在的,尽管我是一个微不足道的人物,可是我还是感到很难过,”珀奇先生摇了一下头,继续说道,“如果不是命中注定我得亲身经历这种事情的话,那么就连我自己也难以相信我会这么难过。它对我的影响几乎就像喝酒一样。每天早上我都感到仿佛我在头天夜里喝过了头似的。”
珀奇先生的外貌证实了他所叙述的症状,他有一种由于发烧而引起的倦怠的神色,那似乎都是杯中物所引起的。事实上,追根溯源,是因为他多次去酒吧的缘故。人们在那里款待他,向他问各种问题,他已养成每天都要上酒吧去的习惯。
“所以,”珀奇先生又摇了摇头,用清脆的低语说道,“这件最令人痛苦的事件暴露以后,我不能判断那些处境特殊的人们的感情。”
这时珀奇先生等待着听推心置腹的回答;他没有听到这样的回答,就用手遮着嘴巴咳嗽;这没有引起什么反应,他就用帽子遮着嘴巴咳嗽;这也没有引起什么反应,他就把帽子放在地上,在怀里掏那封信。
“如果我记得不错的话,这是不要求回复的,”珀奇先生露出和蔼可亲的微笑,说道,“不过,也许您肯费神看一遍吧,先生。”
约翰•卡克拆开信封,这是董贝先生的来信,内容十分简短,他看过以后,回答道,“是的,不要求回复。”
“好,那就祝您早上好,小姐,”珀奇往门边走了一步,说道,“同时希望您多多保重,别因为最近这令人痛苦的事件过分悲伤。报纸,”珀奇先生又走回两步,用更为神秘的低语,同时向姐弟两人说话,“急巴巴地想要得到新的消息,急得你们难以想象。有一份星期天出版的报纸派来的人,披着蓝色的斗篷,戴着白色的帽子,(他曾经想用这两件东西来收买我,用不着说,他哪能成功呢?),昨天夜里在我们院子里游来晃去,一直到八点二十分钟才走。我亲眼看见他从我们公司营业所的锁眼里往里面偷看,可是这锁眼是取得专利的,根本看不见里面的东西。还有一个人,”珀奇先生说道,“穿着军装,腰带上有挂武器的圈环,整天都坐在‘国王的纹章’酒馆里;上星期我碰巧在那里无意间讲了一点话,第二天早上(那是个星期天),我看见它在报上令人十分吃惊地登出来了。”
珀奇先生又去掏他怀中的口袋,仿佛想要取出那段新闻来似的,但由于没有得到鼓励,所以就把他的海狸皮手套抽了出来,捡起帽子,离开了。不到正午,珀奇先生就已在‘国王的纹章’和别的地方向几位挑选出来的听众叙述卡克小姐怎样眼泪汪汪,放声大哭,并握着他的手,说道,“啊,亲爱的,亲爱的珀奇,看到您是我唯一的安慰!”约翰•卡克先生则怎样用一种可怕的说道,“珀奇,我和他断绝关系了。永远别再在我面前把他称做我的弟弟了!”
“亲爱的约翰,”当他们只剩下两个人,而且沉默了几分钟之后,哈里特说道,“这封信带来坏消息吧?”
“是的。但是没有什么意料之外的事情,”他回答道,“我昨天看到写信的人。”
“写信的人?”
“董贝先生。当我在营业所里的时候,他两次走过那里。在这之前,我能避免被他看见,但是当然不能希望以后长久都能这样。我知道,在他看来,我在那里是一桩讨厌的事情,这是很自然的。我想,如果我处在他的地位的话,我自己也会那样感觉的。”
“他这样说了没有?”
“没有;他什么也没有说,但是我看到,他的眼光在我身上停留了一会儿;我当时对将会发生的事情(对现在已经发生了的事情)做好了准备。我已经被辞退了。”
她竭力掩饰她的震惊,装出对未来怀有希望的样子,但根据许多理由,这都是令人痛苦的消息。
“‘我不需要向您说明’”约翰•卡克念着信,“‘为什么从今以后我听到您的姓会感到多么刺耳,虽然它和我的姓毫无关系。我也不需要向您说明,为什么每天看到姓这个姓的人是我不能忍受的。我必须通知您,从今天起,我们之间的一切关系就此中断,并请您切勿企图恢复与我或我的公司之间的联系。’信里装了钱,大大超过这时辞退所应得到的数额。我就这样被辞退了。说实在的,哈里特,如果我们回忆起过去一切情形的话,那么我们应当承认,这是一次宽厚的、体谅到我们困难的辞退。”
“如果由于别人的恶劣行为要对你进行惩罚也能说是宽厚的、体谅到我们困难的话,约翰,那么我同意你的意见,”
她温柔地回答道。
“对他来说,我们是一个不吉利的家族,”约翰•卡克说道,“他一听到我们的姓的就感到厌恶,并觉得在我们的血液里有什么该咀咒的和邪恶的东西,他有理由这样想。要不是因为你的话,我也几乎要这样想的呢,哈里特。”
“弟弟,别这样讲。如果像你所说和你所想的那样,你有什么特殊理由爱我的话(可是我却要说,没有这种特殊理由!)
那么就别让我听到这样荒唐的、疯狂的话吧!”
他用双手捂住脸;但不久当她走近他的时候,他容许她把他的一只手拉到她的手里。
“我知道,在经过这么多年之后,这次辞退是一件使人伤心的事情,”他的姐姐说道,“而它的原因对我们两人来说都是可怕的。可是我们必须生活下去,并筹措我们的生活费用。那又有什么了不起呢?我们能做到这一点。别灰心丧气。奋斗下去,约翰,我们一起奋斗下去。我们对这应当感到自豪,而不应当感到苦恼。”
当她吻他的脸颊,请求他高兴起来的时候,她的嘴唇上露出了一丝微笑。
“啊,最亲爱的姐姐!由于你的高尚的意志,你把自己捆绑在一个身败名裂的人的身上!他的声誉扫地,自己没有朋友,还把你所有的朋友也都赶跑了。”
“约翰!”她急忙用手捂住他的嘴,“看在我的份上,看在我们长久的姐弟情谊的分上,别这么说!”他沉默了。“现在让我来告诉你,亲爱的,”她安静地坐在他的身边,“我跟你一样,也预料到这一点;当我一直没有想到这一点,担心会发生这件事情,并尽量做好准备的时候,我决心当这件事情真正发生的时候就告诉你,我向你保守了一个秘密:我们有一位朋友。”
“我们的朋友叫什么名字,哈里特?”他悲伤地微笑了一下,问道。
“我确实不知道他的名字,但是他有一次很恳切地向我表白了他的友谊和他愿意为我们帮忙的心愿。我相信他,直到今天。”
“哈里特!”惊讶的弟弟高声喊道,“这位朋友住在哪里?”
“这我也不知道,”她回答道,“但是他知道我们两人,知道我们的历史——我们简短历史的全部情形,约翰。这就是为什么我根据他的建议,没有把他到这里来的这个秘密向你透露的缘故,因为唯恐他知道你的历史这一点会使你感到痛苦。”
“这里!他到这里来过,哈里特?”
“这里,在这个房间里。一次。”
“是个什么样的人?”
“不年轻。就像他所说,头发已经斑白,而且很快就会变得更白,但是他慷慨、坦率、善良,我肯定是这样。”
“你只见过他一次吗,哈里特?”
“在这个房间里只一次,”他的姐姐说道,同时脸颊上露出一点极为轻微的、极为短暂的红晕,“但是他在这里曾请求我允许他路过这里的时候每星期见我一次,以表明我们过得很好,依旧不需要他帮助。因为当他向我建议他给我们一些帮助(这是他那次访问的目的)的时候,我告诉他,我们什么也不需要。”
“这么说,一星期一次——”
“从那时候起,他每星期一次,而且经常是每星期中的同一天,同一个钟点,从我们家门口走过;经常是步行;经常是朝着同一个方向——往伦敦去的方向;他经常像一位善良的监护人那样,快活地向我挥挥手就走了,从来没有停留过更长的时间。当他向我建议进行这些奇妙有趣的会晤的时候,他答应这样做,而且一直十分忠实地、愉快地信守他的诺言,因此如果我开始有过一丁点儿疑虑不安的话,那么它也会很快就消除了(由于他的态度十分爽直、真诚,所以我认为我并没有这种疑虑不安),而且在那一天来到的时候,我感到很高兴。上星期一——这次可怕的事件发生以后的第一个星期一——他没有从这里走过;我一直在纳闷,他没有来是不是会跟发生的事情多少有些关系。”
“怎么会有关系呢?”她的弟弟问道。
“我不知道怎么会有关系,我只是对恰好同时发生这一点进行猜测;我不曾想去解释它。我相信他会再来。当他真的再来的时候,亲爱的约翰,请让我告诉他,我已经对你说了,并让我介绍你们认识吧。他肯定会帮助我们解决今后生活的费用。他曾请求我,让他能做点事情来减轻我和你的生活的困难。我也答应过他,如果我们需要朋友帮助的话,那么我将会记得他,到那时候他的姓名对我们将不再是秘密了。”
“哈里特,”她的弟弟一直在十分注意地听着,这时说道,“请把这个先生的外貌描述给我听。我毫无疑问应当知道一位对我知道得这么清楚的人。”
他的姐姐尽可能生动地描述她这位客人的面貌、身材和服装;可是也许是由于他不知道这个人,也许是她在叙述时有些缺点,也许是由于他来回走着并默默思考着的时候,有些走神,因此,约翰•卡克不能辨认出他姐姐描绘的这幅肖像。
不过他们商量好,当肖像的原型下次来到的时候,他一定看一看他。作出这个决定以后,姐姐焦虑不安的心情已减轻一些,就去料理家务;那位头发斑白的、董贝公司原先的低级职员则在花园里劳动,度过他所不习惯的自由的第一天。
已经是夜间很晚的时候了,弟弟正在高声念书,姐姐正忙着针线活,这时他们听见有人敲门。自从他们的弟弟逃走以后,一种模糊不清的忧虑与畏惧的气氛一直笼罩着他们,而敲门的在这里又不是寻常的,所以在这种情况下听到这简直令人恐怖。弟弟向门口走去,姐姐则心惊胆怯地坐在那里听着。有人跟他说话,他作了回答,似乎感到惊奇;两人交谈了几句以后,一起走进了房间。
“哈里特,”她的弟弟拿着蜡烛,领着他们刚来的客人进来,低声说道,“这是莫芬先生,他跟詹姆士一起在董贝公司里工作得很久了。”
他的姐姐吃惊地往后退了一步,仿佛鬼进来似的。那位过去不知名的朋友站在门口,他的黑头发中间夹杂着白发,脸色红润,前额宽阔、明净,眼睛是淡褐色的,这就是她曾这么长久为他保守秘密的那个人。
“约翰!”她有些喘不过气来地说道,“这就是我今天跟你说过的那位先生。”
“哈里特小姐,”客人原先在门口站了一会儿,这时走进来,说道,“这位先生听到您讲这话,心中感到轻松了。他一路上一直在思考着怎样来给他自己解释,可是总没有想出能使他自己满意的方式。约翰先生,我在这里并不是一位完全陌生的人。您刚才在门口看到我的时候大吃一惊。我注意到您现在更加惊异。是啊!在目前的情况下,这倒也是合乎常情的。如果我们不是受习惯支配的奴隶的话,那么我们就没有理由像这样经常地感到惊奇了。”
这时他已用他那令人愉快的、既热诚又尊敬的态度向哈里特表示了问候,他的这种态度哈里特是记得很清楚的;然后他在她的身旁坐下来,脱去手套,扔到放在桌子上的帽子里。
“我产生见见您姐姐的愿望,或者我按照我自己的方式来满足这个愿望,这里并没有什么令人惊奇的东西,约翰先生。至于在这之后,我定期前来拜访(她也许已经向您说到这一点),这也没有什么异乎寻常的东西。它们很快就变成了习惯,而我们都是受习惯支配的奴隶——受习惯支配的奴隶!”
他把手插进衣袋,背靠着椅子,看着弟弟和姐姐,仿佛他看到他们在一起很感兴趣似的;然后他用激昂的和沉思的神态,继续说道,“同样是这习惯,它使我们当中一些能更有作为的人们养成恶魔般高傲与顽固的脾气,难以改变;它使我们当中另一些人养成并加深腐化堕落的恶习,无法自拔;它使我们多数人对周围的一切漠不关心,就像用粘土做成的塑像一样,根据我们粘土的性质,一天天变得愈来愈坚硬,而且跟塑像一样难以压成新的模型和接受新的信念。您应当判断出习惯对我的影响,约翰。在过去这许多年月中,我在董贝公司的业务管理中起着微小的、十分有限的作用;我看到您的弟弟(他已证明自己是个坏蛋!令姐将会原谅我不得不提到这点)不断扩大着他的权势,直到最后公司的业务和它的主人成了他随意踢耍的足球;我看到您每天默默无闻地在您的办公桌上辛苦工作着;我很满意于我做好我职责范围内的一丁点儿工作,尽量不疏忽大意;我满足于让我周围的一切像一架大机器一样,不加猜疑地、一天天运转下去(这是机器的习惯,也是我的习惯);我满足于把一切都看作是不成问题的,完全正确的。我所喜爱的星期三夜晚定时来临,我们的四重奏乐队定时演出,我的大提琴的音调很好,在我的世界里一切都没有毛病——如果有,那也不大——,就算有些毛病,那也与我无关。”
“我可以向您保证说,在我们公司里,谁也没有像您这样受到大家尊敬与喜爱的。”
“说那里的话!”另一位回答道,“我敢说,那是由于我脾气好,容易顺从别人的缘故。这是我的习惯。这适合经理的心意,特别是,这最适合我自己的心意。我完成分配给我做的工作,不奉承他们任何人,安心乐意于一个完全不要求我溜须拍马的职务。因此,要不是因为我的墙壁薄,我就会这样一直待下去。您可以向您姐姐证明,我的房间和经理的房间只是用护壁板隔开的。”
“那是两间相连的房间;原先可能是一间房间,正如莫芬先生所说,是被分隔开来的。”她的弟弟说道,一边回头看看他,等待他继续解释下去。
“我吹口哨,哼曲子,把贝多芬B调奏鸣曲从头到尾哼到底,让他知道,我和他近在咫尺,能听得见他说话,”莫芬先生说道,“可是他从来没有注意我。当然,我极少听到私事性质的谈话。可是当我能听到这种谈话,而又没有别的办法避免知道其中一些内容的时候,我就走出房间。我走出过一次,约翰,那是兄弟两人正在谈话的时候,年轻的沃尔特•盖伊开始也参加了那次谈话。可是在我离开房间之前我偷听到其中的一些内容。也许您还能充分记得这次谈话,可以告诉您姐姐谈话的性质是什么吧?”
“哈里特,”她的弟弟低声说道,“我们谈到过去的事情和我们各自在公司里的地位。”
“这次谈到的问题对我并不新鲜,但它从一个新的角度向我显示出来。我本来相信我周围的一切都是完好无缺的,因为我对它已经习惯了——世界上十分之九的居民都有这样的习惯——,这次谈话动摇了我的这个习惯,”客人说道,“并引起我回忆兄弟两人的历史,对它进行了思考。我想这几乎是我生平第一次沿着这样的思路去考虑问题:许多我们现在司空见惯、习以为常的事物,当我们从那个我们早晚有一天一定都会采取的新的、不同的观点去看的时候,它们将会显示出什么样子呢?从那天上午以后,我就像人们常说的那样,变得脾气不太好,不太顺从,不太自满自足了。”
他沉默了一分钟左右,同时用一只手在桌子上叮叮冬冬地敲击着,然后又赶快继续说下去,仿佛急着想结束他的自白似的。
“在我知道我该做些什么事情或我能做些什么事情之前,这两兄弟又进行了第二次谈话;在这次谈话中提到了他们的姐姐。我听凭这次谈话的片言只语自由地飘入我的耳朵,良心上没有任何不安。我认为这是我的权利。在这之后,我到这里来,想亲眼见一见姐姐。第一次我在花园门口停下来,假装打听你们一位可怜的邻人的名声,可是我离开了,我觉得哈里特小姐不相信我。第二次,我请求允许我走进屋子;进来以后,我说了我想要说的话。您姐姐向我说明了为什么她当时拒绝接受我的帮助的原因,那是我不敢和她争辩的;但是我建立了我们两人交际的一个方式,它从不间断地一直持续下来,直到这几天我因为忙于最近移交给我的重要事情,才不得不中断。”
“先生,我每天跟您见面,却一点也没有猜疑到这一点!”约翰•卡克说道,“如果哈里特能猜测到您的姓名的话——”
“老实告诉您吧,约翰,”客人打断他的话,说道,“我没有说出我的姓名,有两个原因。我不知道单有第一个原因是不是充分;一个人没有权利由于有善良的意图就接受别人的感谢,因此我决定在我能向你们提供真正的帮助之前,无论如何也不说出我的姓名。我的第二个原因是,我总还抱着微弱的希望:你们的弟弟对你们两人也许还可能会比以前宽厚一些;在这样的情况下,如果这位生性多疑的、小心戒备的人发现我秘密地亲近你们,这就有可能成为你们破裂的一个新的、严重的根由。真的,我曾经决定不顾他会对我不满的风险(这算不了什么),等待合适的机会,在公司老板面前为您陈情请愿。可是由于发生了死亡、求婚、结婚、不和的家庭生活等这一系列事件的结果,在这长长的时间中,我们公司的老板实际上是你们的弟弟;”这时客人压低了,说道,“如果用一株干枯的树干来代替他的话,那么这对我们来说反倒会好一些。”
他似乎意识到,最后这句话是违反他的意愿脱口说出的,就伸出一只手给弟弟,另一只手给姐姐,继续说道:
“现在我已说出了所有我想要说的话,甚至还超过了。我希望你们理解并相信,我的用意不是言语所能表达的。现在我可以帮助您,而不会妨碍您进行赎罪的努力了(您这种努力已持续进行了这么多年),“因为您今天不是由于您自己的行为而被解除职务的,因此我可以帮助您的这个时间已经来到了,约翰,虽然它是极为不幸、极为悲痛地来到的。现在时间已经晚了,今天夜里我不用再说什么了。不需要我劝告或提醒,您将会保护好这里交给您的珍宝。”
他说完这些话之后,站起身来,准备离开。
“可是约翰,您拿着蜡烛在前面走,”他愉快地说道,“不论您想说什么,都别说了。”约翰•卡克心头充满了千言万语,如果可能的话,他真想把它们倾吐出来,使他心情轻松一些;“让我再跟您姐姐说一句话。我们以前曾经单独说过话,而且也是在这个房间;虽然现在有您在这里,显得更为自然。”
他目送着约翰•卡克出去,一边亲切地转向哈里特,用改变了的、更为庄严的态度,低声说道:
“您希望向我问一下您不幸成为他姐姐的那个人的情况吧?”
“我怕问,”哈里特说道。
“您不止一次那么严肃地望着我,”客人说道,“因此我想我能猜出您的问题。您想问:他有没有窃取公司的钱,是不是?”
“是的。”
“他没有。”
“谢谢上天!”哈里特说道,“为了约翰的缘故。”
“可是他百般滥用对他的信任,”莫芬先生说道,“他时常为了自己的利益,而不是为了他所代表的公司的利益而经营买卖和投机;他让公司卷入极为冒险的业务,结果时常造成巨大的亏损;他有责任抑制他的老板的虚荣心与野心,并向他指出它们会导致什么样的后果(这是在他的职权范围内可以做到的事),可是这时他却反而时常纵容它们;所有这些事情现在可能不会使您感到惊奇。公司举办了各种企业来扩大它财力雄厚的声誉,并显示它和其他商业公司相比的巨大优越地位;需要有一个沉着冷静的头脑来注视可能发生的毁灭性后果(如果在公司业务中发生了一些灾难性的变化,这就会使这种后果成为可能)。公司经营着涉及世界上大部分地区的许多交易,他是其中的中心人物,只有他一个人掌握着这些错综复杂的业务的线索,因此他可能(他似乎也利用了这种可能)把已经查明的各种结果隐瞒住,而以各种估计和概括来代替事实。可是近来——您能听谨我的话吗,哈里特小姐?”
“完全听得谨,完全听得懂,”她把受惊的脸孔一动不动地对着他,回答道,“请立刻把最坏的事情告诉我。”
“近来他好像花了很大的精力来使这些业务经营的结果看得清楚、明白;虽然它们头绪纷繁,但只要查阅一下帐簿,就能使人非常容易地掌握这些结果。仿佛他已决心让老板粗粗一看就能看出:支配着他的虚荣心已给他带来什么样的结局!他一直卑劣地满足他的虚荣心,肉麻地逢迎它,这是不容置疑的。他跟公司业务有关的罪行主要是这些。”

  “在您离开前,我还有一句话要问您,亲爱的先生,”哈里特说道,“这没有危险吗?”

  “什么危险?”他有些迟疑地问道。

  “对公司信用的危险?”

  “我不得不坦率地回答您,并完全地信任您,”莫芬先生对她的脸仔细观察了一会儿,说道。

  “您可以,您真的可以!”

  “我相信我可以。对公司信用有危险吗?没有,没有任何危险。可能会发生困难,严重或不太严重的困难,但却没有危险,除非,是的,除非公司老板不能下决心收缩它企业的经营范围,断然不信公司的状况不是像他经常认为的那种状况,迫使它紧张得超出了它的承受能力。如果是那样的话,那么它就摇摇欲坠了。”

  “不过不必忧虑这一点吧?”哈里特问道。

  “在我们之间可以直言不讳,”他握着她的手,说道,“董贝先生是一位任何人都难以接近的人。他现在的情绪是傲慢,轻率,不通情理,难以控制。但是现在他心烦意乱,十分激动,到了异乎寻常的地步,这种情况可能会过去的。现在最坏的与最好的,您全都了解了。今天夜里我不再讲了。祝您晚安!”

  他说完之后,吻了她的手,然后往外走到门口,她的弟弟正站在那里等着他来;当约翰·卡克想要跟他说话的时候,他高高兴兴地把他推到一旁,对他说,他们很快就会时常见面,如果他愿意的话,可以在另一个时候再说,可是现在时间已经很晚了;接着就迈着轻快的步伐离开了,为的是不想听到感谢他的话。

  弟弟和姐姐坐在火炉旁边谈话,一直谈到几乎天亮;他们瞥见了展现在他们前面的新世界,失去了睡意;他们感到他们好像两个在船遇难中的受害人,好多年以前被海浪打到荒凉的海岸上,当他们无可奈何地安于现状,不再想望有另一个家园的时候,一条船终于向他们开来了。但是另一种不同的焦虑不安也使他们不能入眠。这缕光线冲破黑暗,照射到他们身上,但黑暗仍聚集在他们周围;他们有罪的弟弟的脚从来不曾踩进这个房屋,但他的阴影现正投射在这里。

  不能把它赶走,它在阳光下面也不消失。第二天早上它在这里,中午和夜晚它还在这里。我们将要叙述的这一夜是最黑暗的,也是最不同寻常的。

  约翰·卡克已带着他们朋友的一封介绍信,出外去了;哈里特独自留在家中。她已经独自待了几个钟头。幽暗的、阴沉的黄昏和渐渐深浓的暮色对排除她抑郁的心情是不利的。那位弟弟她已长久没有见面,而且长久不了解,对他的想象正呈现出各种可怕的形状,在她的周围盘旋。他已死了,奄奄一息,正呼唤着她,凝视着她,皱眉蹙额地对着她。她心上的田像是那么突出,鲜明,当暮色渐渐深浓的时候,她不敢抬起头去看房间里的黑暗角落,唯恐他的阴魂(她的激动的想象的产物)隐藏在那里,想要惊吓她。有一次她好像觉得他就藏在隔壁的房间里,虽然她知道这是个由精神失常引起的荒诞的幻觉,她一点也不相信它是真的,可是她还是强迫自己走到那里,想使她自己真正放下心来。可是这也徒劳无益。她刚一离开,那间房子又恢复了虚幻的恐怖;她不能摆脱这种模糊不清的畏惧,好像它们是扎根在坚实的土地上的石头巨人似的。

  天色几乎完全黑了,她正坐在窗子旁边,头俯伏在一只手上,眼睛向下看着,突然间她感到房间变得更黑,就抬起眼睛,情不自禁地喊叫了一声。一张苍白的、受了惊吓的脸正紧贴着玻璃往里面注视。那眼睛起初有些发呆,好像在寻找什么似的,过一会儿,就停留在哈里特身上,闪耀着亮光。

  “让我进来!让我进来!我想跟您说话!”,同时一只手在玻璃上嗒嗒地敲着。

  哈里特立刻认出这个头发又长又黑的女人,她曾经在一个雨夜里给了她温暖、食物和躲避的场所。哈里特记得她的那狂暴的行为,自然而然地对她感到害怕,就从窗口往后退了一点儿,迟疑不决地、惊恐地站在那里。

  “让我进来!让我跟您说话!我感谢您——是的,我会安安静静——顺顺从从——您想要我怎样我就怎样。可是请让我跟您说话。”

  她请求的态度十分热烈,脸上的表情十分诚挚,举起哀求的双手颤抖得很厉害,中包含的恐惧与恐怖和哈里特自己当时的情况十分近似,这一切使哈里特克服了犹豫不决的情绪。她急忙跑到门口,开了门。

  “我可以进去吗,还是就在这里说?”那女人抓住她的手,问道。

  “您需要什么?您想要说什么?”

  “话不多,但是请让我把它说出来,要不然我就永远也不会说了。我现在很想走开。似乎有什么人在把我从门口拽走似的。如果现在您能信任我的话,就让我进去吧!”

  她的活动能力又占了上风;她们走进有火光的小厨房里。

  她以前曾经在这里坐过,吃过东西和晾过衣服。

  “请坐在那里,”艾丽斯在她身旁跪下来,说道,“看着我。

  您记得我吗?”

  “记得。”

  “您记得我告诉过您:我过去是个什么人;那次狂风暴雨吹打着我的头的时候,我穿着破烂的衣服,跛着脚,是从哪里来的吗?”

  “记得。”

  “您知道那天夜里我又怎样回来,把您给我的钱扔在泥里,咒骂您和您的亲属。现在您看见我跪在这里。难道我现在讲话比那时不恳切吗?”

  “如果,”哈里特温柔地说道,“您是来请求我原谅您的话——”

  “可是我不是来请求您原谅我的,”那一位脸上露出高傲的、猛烈的神色,说道,“我是请求您相信我。现在请您判断一下,不论我过去是怎样,也不论我现在是怎样,我是不是值得相信?”

  她依旧跪着,眼睛看着火;火照着她的毁损的美容和蓬乱的黑发;她把一长绺头发从肩膀上拉下来,缠绕在手上,说话的时候咬着它和揪着它。她继续说道:

  “我年轻、漂亮的时候,当这些头发,”她轻蔑地拽着握在手里的头发,“只是被人们温存地抚摸,而不能受到充分爱慕的时候,我的母亲看出了我年轻漂亮这些优点;她喜欢我,为我感到得意(当我是个小孩子的时候,她是很少关心我的)。她贪婪,穷苦,想把我变成一笔财产。我相信,没有一位贵夫人曾像她那样看自己的女儿,也不会像她那样行事——我们知道,决不会那样做的——。这说明,只有在像我们这样穷苦可怜的人们中间,才能遇上这些错误养育自己女儿的母亲,并看到从中滋生的邪恶。”

  她望着火,仿佛一时忘记了有人在听她说话;她把那绺长长的头发紧紧地缠绕在手上,好像是在做梦似的,继续说下去:

  “我不需要说,这导致了什么样的结果。在像我们这种阶层的人们中间,这不会导致不幸的结婚,而只是导致不幸与堕落。不幸与堕落降临到我身上——降临到我身上。”

  她迅速地把忧郁的眼光从炉火转移到哈里特的脸上,说道:

  “我在浪费时间,而时间已经不多,不能再耽误了;可是如果我没有反复考虑过这一切的话,那么我现在就不会到这里来了。是的,不幸与堕落降临到我的身上。我被当成了一个短暂的玩具,然后就被抛弃在一旁,甚至比人们抛弃这类东西时更残酷、更漫不在意。您想我是被谁的手抛弃了的呢?”

  “您为什么问我这个问题呢?”哈里特问道。

  “您为什么哆嗦?”艾丽斯敏锐地看了她一眼,回答道,“他把我变成了一个魔鬼。我愈来愈深地陷入不幸与堕落,我被卷进了一桩抢劫案中。我没有参加分赃,但其他的事情都参加了。我被逮捕并审讯,这时我没有一个朋友,身上也没有一个小钱。虽然我只不过是一个年轻的女孩子,可是我宁肯死,也不愿意求他给我说情,即使他说上一句话就能救我。是的,我宁肯死,不论创制出什么样的死法都行。可是我那位贪婪的母亲,却用我的名义向他送去音信,把我案件的真实情况告诉了他,并低三下四地请求他赠送最后一笔礼金——几镑钱,不多于这只手上指头的数目。当时我处境悲惨,就像他认为的那样,正躺在他的脚旁,但是他却用两个手指头对着我叭地一弹,就离开了我,连这一丁点惦念过去情分的可怜的表示也没有;我被押送到海外,不再成为他的障碍物,然后在那里死去,腐烂掉,他是感到很满意的。您想,他是谁呢?”

  “您为什么问我这个问题呢?”哈里特重复问道。

  “您为什么哆嗦?”艾丽斯把手放在她的胳膊上,注视着她的脸孔,说道,“这只是因为答案已在您的嘴边!他就是您的弟弟詹姆士。”

  哈里特哆嗦得更加厉害了,但没有把眼睛从注视着它们的眼光中移开。

  “当我在那天夜里知道您是他的姐姐的时候,我疲累不堪,脚一拐一拐地回到这里,轻蔑地退回了您的赠金。那天夜里我觉得,如果我能在一个荒凉的、没有人在他近旁的地方找到他的话,那么我仿佛也能不顾疲累,脚一拐一拐地走遍全世界去刺死他。您相信我这话是当真的吗?”

  “我相信!我的天老爷,您为什么又到这里来了呢?”

  “后来我看见了他!”艾丽斯跟先前一样紧紧地抓住她,跟先前一样地看着她的脸。“在光天化日之下,我的眼睛跟随着他。如果说怨恨的火花只是潜伏在我胸中的话,那么当我的眼睛一看到他的时候,它就立刻迸发出来,成为熊熊燃烧的火焰。您知道,他伤害了一个高傲的人,使他成了他的不共戴天的敌人。如果我向这个人提供有关他的信息的话,那么将会怎样呢?”

  “信息!”哈里特重复着说道。

  “如果我找到一个人,他知道您弟弟的秘密,他知道他是怎样逃走的,知道他跟他的伴侣逃到哪里的话,那么将会怎样呢?如果我使您弟弟的敌人暗藏起来,让这个人在他面前逐字逐句地说出他所知道的有关您弟弟的全部消息的话,那么将会怎么样呢?如果我那时候坐在旁边注视着这个敌人的脸孔,看着他发生变化,直到他完全失去了人性的话,那么将会怎样呢?如果我看见他急如星火地离开,疯疯癫癫地去追寻的话,那么将会怎样呢?如果我现在知道他正在路上——与其说是个人,还不如说是个魔鬼——,而且一定会在几个钟头内追上他的话,那么将会怎样呢?”

  “把您的手拿开!”哈里特向后退缩,说道,“走开!您的接触使我害怕!”

  “我已做了这一切!”那一位继续说道,一边依旧注视着哈里特,没有注意到她打断她的话,“我说话的和脸上的神色是不是仿佛我已确实做了这一切?您相信我说的话吗?”

  “我担心,我不能不相信。放开我的胳膊吧!”

  “现在还不。再等一会儿!您可以理解,我复仇的决心持续了这么长久的时间,并驱使我采取了这个步骤,它一定是多么地强烈!”

  “可怕!”哈里特说道。

  “因此,”艾丽斯用嘶哑的说道,“当您看到我现在又在这里,平静地跪在地上,手摸着您的胳膊,眼睛注视着您的脸孔的时候,您可以相信,当我说我在心中发生了极不寻常的斗争,我这话是非常认真的。讲这些话使我感到惭愧,但是我产生了怜悯。我看不起我自己;我心中斗争了今天一整天和昨天一整夜;但是我毫无理由地对他怜悯起来,并希望如果可能,我能补救我所已做了的事情。他的追赶者已失去理智,并将鲁莽行事。我但愿他们不要相遇。如果您昨天夜里看到他是怎样走出去的话,您就会更好地理解将会发生什么样的危险。”

  “怎样防止呢?我能做什么呢?”哈里特喊道。

  “我昨天整夜梦见他身上流血,”另一位急忙地继续说下去,“可是我还是睡不着。今天一整天我感到他就在我身边。”

  “我能做什么呢?”哈里特说道;她听到这些话浑身打颤。

  “如果有谁能写信给他,或派人捎信给他,或亲自前往他那里去,那就请他别耽误时间。他在第戎。您听说过这个城市的名称,知道它在哪里吗?”

  “知道。”

  “请警告他,他使他成为他的敌人的那个人现在正在狂怒之中;如果他把他的到来不当作一回事的话,那么就大不了解他了。请告诉他,他现在在路途中——我知道这一点——,并正急急忙忙地在追赶。当时间还来得及的时候——如果时间还来得及的话——,请催促他离开,别去跟他相遇。能够避开一个月,情况就会大不相同。让他们别由于我的缘故而相遇。在任何地方都好,可千万别在那里相遇!在任何时候都好,可千万别在现在相遇!让他的仇人追寻他,把他找到,可是别通过我!没有这桩事,我心中的负担就够沉重的了。”

  炉火不再照耀她那乌油油的秀发、仰望着的脸和热烈、恳切的眼睛;她的手已从哈里特的胳膊上移开。她刚才待过的地方已空无一人。

慕若涵

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Chapter 54
The Fugitives
Tea-time, an hour short of midnight; the place, a French apartment, comprising some half-dozen rooms; - a dull cold hall or corridor, a dining-room, a drawing-room, a bed-room, and an inner drawingroom, or boudoir, smaller and more retired than the rest. All these shut in by one large pair of doors on the main staircase, but each room provided with two or three pairs of doors of its own, establishing several means of communication with the remaining portion of the apartment, or with certain small passages within the wall, leading, as is not unusual in such houses, to some back stairs with an obscure outlet below. The whole situated on the first floor of so large an Hotel, that it did not absorb one entire row of windows upon one side of the square court-yard in the centre, upon which the whole four sides of the mansion looked.
An air of splendour, sufficiently faded to be melancholy, and sufficiently dazzling to clog and embarrass the details of life with a show of state, reigned in these rooms The walls and ceilings were gilded and painted; the floors were waxed and polished; crimson drapery hung in festoons from window, door, and mirror; and candelabra, gnarled and intertwisted like the branches of trees, or horns of animals, stuck out from the panels of the wall. But in the day-time, when the lattice-blinds (now closely shut) were opened, and the light let in, traces were discernible among this finery, of wear and tear and dust, of sun and damp and smoke, and lengthened intervals of want of use and habitation, when such shows and toys of life seem sensitive like life, and waste as men shut up in prison do. Even night, and clusters of burning candles, could not wholly efface them, though the general glitter threw them in the shade.
The glitter of bright tapers, and their reflection in looking-glasses, scraps of gilding and gay colours, were confined, on this night, to one room - that smaller room within the rest, just now enumerated. Seen from the hall, where a lamp was feebly burning, through the dark perspective of open doors, it looked as shining and precious as a gem. In the heart of its radiance sat a beautiful woman - Edith.
She was alone. The same defiant, scornful woman still. The cheek a little worn, the eye a little larger in appearance, and more lustrous, but the haughty bearing just the same. No shame upon her brow; no late repentance bending her disdainful neck. Imperious and stately yet, and yet regardless of herself and of all else, she sat wIth her dark eyes cast down, waiting for someone.
No book, no work, no occupation of any kind but her own thought, beguiled the tardy time. Some purpose, strong enough to fill up any pause, possessed her. With her lips pressed together, and quivering if for a moment she released them from her control; with her nostril inflated; her hands clasped in one another; and her purpose swelling in her breast; she sat, and waited.
At the sound of a key in the outer door, and a footstep in the hall, she started up, and cried 'Who's that?' The answer was in French, and two men came in with jingling trays, to make preparation for supper.
'Who had bade them to do so?' she asked.
'Monsieur had commanded it, when it was his pleasure to take the apartment. Monsieur had said, when he stayed there for an hour, en route, and left the letter for Madame - Madame had received it surely?'
'Yes.'
'A thousand pardons! The sudden apprehension that it might have been forgotten had struck hIm;' a bald man, with a large beard from a neighbouring restaurant; 'with despair! Monsieur had said that supper was to be ready at that hour: also that he had forewarned Madame of the commands he had given, in his letter. Monsieur had done the Golden Head the honour to request that the supper should be choice and delicate. Monsieur would find that his confidence in the Golden Head was not misplaced.'
Edith said no more, but looked on thoughtfully while they prepared the table for two persons, and set the wine upon it. She arose before they had finished, and taking a lamp, passed into the bed-chamber and into the drawing-room, where she hurriedly but narrowly examined all the doors; particularly one in the former room that opened on the passage in the wall. From this she took the key, and put it on the outer side. She then came back.
The men - the second of whom was a dark, bilious subject, in a jacket, close shaved, and with a black head of hair close cropped - had completed their preparation of the table, and were standing looking at it. He who had spoken before, inquired whether Madame thought it would be long before Monsieur arrived?
'She couldn't say. It was all one.'
'Pardon! There was the supper! It should be eaten on the instant. Monsieur (who spoke French like an Angel - or a Frenchman - it was all the same) had spoken with great emphasis of his punctuality. But the English nation had so grand a genius for punctuality. Ah! what noise! Great Heaven, here was Monsieur. Behold him!'
In effect, Monsieur, admitted by the other of the two, came, with his gleaming teeth, through the dark rooms, like a mouth; and arriving in that sanctuary of light and colour, a figure at full length, embraced Madame, and addressed her in the French tongue as his charming wife
'My God! Madame is going to faint. Madame is overcome with joy!' The bald man with the beard observed it, and cried out.
Madame had only shrunk and shivered. Before the words were spoken, she was standing with her hand upon the velvet back of a great chair; her figure drawn up to its full height, and her face immoveable.
'Francois has flown over to the Golden Head for supper. He flies on these occasions like an angel or a bird. The baggage of Monsieur is in his room. All is arranged. The supper will be here this moment.' These facts the bald man notified with bows and smiles, and presently the supper came.
The hot dishes were on a chafing-dish; the cold already set forth, with the change of service on a sideboard. Monsieur was satisfied with this arrangement. The supper table being small, it pleased him very well. Let them set the chafing-dish upon the floor, and go. He would remove the dishes with his own hands.
'Pardon!' said the bald man, politely. 'It was impossible!'
Monsieur was of another opinion. He required no further attendance that night.
'But Madame - ' the bald man hinted.
'Madame,' replied Monsieur, 'had her own maid. It was enough.'
'A million pardons! No! Madame had no maid!'
'I came here alone,' said Edith 'It was my choice to do so. I am well used to travelling; I want no attendance. They need send nobody to me.
Monsieur accordingly, persevering in his first proposed impossibility, proceeded to follow the two attendants to the outer door, and secure it after them for the night. The bald man turning round to bow, as he went out, observed that Madame still stood with her hand upon the velvet back of the great chair, and that her face was quite regardless of him, though she was looking straight before her.
As the sound of Carker's fastening the door resounded through the intermediate rooms, and seemed to come hushed and stilled into that last distant one, the sound of the Cathedral clock striking twelve mingled with it, in Edith's ears She heard him pause, as if he heard it too and listened; and then came back towards her, laying a long train of footsteps through the silence, and shutting all the doors behind him as he came along. Her hand, for a moment, left the velvet chair to bring a knife within her reach upon the table; then she stood as she had stood before.
'How strange to come here by yourself, my love!' he said as he entered.
'What?' she returned.
Her tone was so harsh; the quick turn of her head so fierce; her attitude so repellent; and her frown so black; that he stood, with the lamp in his hand, looking at her, as if she had struck him motionless.
'I say,' he at length repeated, putting down the lamp, and smiling his most courtly smile, 'how strange to come here alone! It was unnecessarty caution surely, and might have defeated itself. You were to have engaged an attendant at Havre or Rouen, and have had abundance of time for the purpose, though you had been the most capricious and difficult (as you are the most beautiful, my love) of women.'
Her eyes gleamed strangely on him, but she stood with her hand resting on the chair, and said not a word.
'I have never,' resumed Carker, 'seen you look so handsome, as you do to-night. Even the picture I have carried in my mind during this cruel probation, and which I have contemplated night and day, is exceeded by the reality.'
Not a word. Not a look Her eyes completely hidden by their drooping lashes, but her head held up.
'Hard, unrelenting terms they were!' said Carker, with a smile, 'but they are all fulfilled and passed, and make the present more delicious and more safe. Sicily shall be the Place of our retreat. In the idlest and easiest part of the world, my soul, we'll both seek compensation for old slavery.'
He was coming gaily towards her, when, in an instant, she caught the knife up from the table, and started one pace back.
'Stand still!' she said, 'or I shall murder you!'
The sudden change in her, the towering fury and intense abhorrence sparkling in her eyes and lighting up her brow, made him stop as if a fire had stopped him.
'Stand still!' she said, 'come no nearer me, upon your life!'
They both stood looking at each other. Rage and astonishment were in his face, but he controlled them, and said lightly,
'Come, come! Tush, we are alone, and out of everybody's sight and hearing. Do you think to frighten me with these tricks of virtue?'
'Do you think to frighten me,' she answered fiercely, 'from any purpose that I have, and any course I am resolved upon, by reminding me of the solitude of this place, and there being no help near? Me, who am here alone, designedly? If I feared you, should I not have avoided you? If I feared you, should I be here, in the dead of night, telling you to your face what I am going to tell?'
'And what is that,' he said, 'you handsome shrew? Handsomer so, than any other woman in her best humour?'
'I tell you nothing,' she returned, until you go back to that chair - except this, once again - Don't come near me! Not a step nearer. I tell you, if you do, as Heaven sees us, I shall murder you!'
'Do you mistake me for your husband?' he retorted, with a grin.
Disdaining to reply, she stretched her arm out, pointing to the chair. He bit his lip, frowned, laughed, and sat down in it, with a baffled, irresolute, impatient air, he was unable to conceal; and biting his nail nervously, and looking at her sideways, with bitter discomfiture, even while he feigned to be amused by her caprice.
She put the knife down upon the table, and touching her bosom wIth her hand, said:
'I have something lying here that is no love trinket, and sooner than endure your touch once more, I would use it on you - and you know it, while I speak - with less reluctance than I would on any other creeping thing that lives.'
He affected to laugh jestingly, and entreated her to act her play out quickly, for the supper was growing cold. But the secret look with which he regarded her, was more sullen and lowering, and he struck his foot once upon the floor with a muttered oath.
'How many times,' said Edith, bending her darkest glance upon him' 'has your bold knavery assailed me with outrage and insult? How many times in your smooth manner, and mocking words and looks, have I been twitted with my courtship and my marriage? How many times have you laid bare my wound of love for that sweet, injured girl and lacerated it? How often have you fanned the fire on which, for two years, I have writhed; and tempted me to take a desperate revenge, when it has most tortured me?'
'I have no doubt, Ma'am,' he replied, 'that you have kept a good account, and that it's pretty accurate. Come, Edith. To your husband, poor wretch, this was well enough - '
'Why, if,' she said, surveying him with a haughty contempt and disgust, that he shrunk under, let him brave it as he would, 'if all my other reasons for despising him could have been blown away like feathers, his having you for his counsellor and favourite, would have almost been enough to hold their place.'
'Is that a reason why you have run away with me?' he asked her, tauntingly.
'Yes, and why we are face to face for the last time. Wretch! We meet tonight, and part tonight. For not one moment after I have ceased to speak, will I stay here!'
He turned upon her with his ugliest look, and gripped the table with his hand; but neither rose, nor otherwise answered or threatened her.
'I am a woman,' she said, confronting him steadfastly, 'who from her childhood has been shamed and steeled. I have been offered and rejected, put up and appraised, until my very soul has sickened. I have not had an accomplishment or grace that might have been a resource to me, but it has been paraded and vended to enhance my value, as if the common crier had called it through the streets. My poor, proud friends, have looked on and approved; and every tie between us has been deadened in my breast. There is not one of them for whom I care, as I could care for a pet dog. I stand alone in the world, remembering well what a hollow world it has been to me, and what a hollow part of it I have been myself. You know this, and you know that my fame with it is worthless to me.'
'Yes; I imagined that,' he said.
'And calculated on it,' she rejoined, 'and so pursued me. Grown too indifferent for any opposition but indifference, to the daily working of the hands that had moulded me to this; and knowing that my marriage would at least prevent their hawking of me up and down; I suffered myself to be sold, as infamously as any woman with a halter round her neck is sold in any market-place. You know that.'
'Yes,' he said, showing all his teeth 'I know that.'
'And calculated on it,' she rejoined once more, 'and so pursued me. From my marriage day, I found myself exposed to such new shame - to such solicitation and pursuit (expressed as clearly as if it had been written in the coarsest words, and thrust into my hand at every turn) from one mean villain, that I felt as if I had never known humiliation till that time. This shame my husband fixed upon me; hemmed me round with, himself; steeped me in, with his own hands, and of his own act, repeated hundreds of times. And thus - forced by the two from every point of rest I had - forced by the two to yield up the last retreat of love and gentleness within me, or to be a new misfortune on its innocent object - driven from each to each, and beset by one when I escaped the other - my anger rose almost to distraction against both I do not know against which it rose higher - the master or the man!'
He watched her closely, as she stood before him in the very triumph of her indignant beauty. She was resolute, he saw; undauntable; with no more fear of him than of a worm.
'What should I say of honour or of chastity to you!' she went on. 'What meaning would it have to you; what meaning would it have from me! But if I tell you that the lightest touch of your hand makes my blood cold with antipathy; that from the hour when I first saw and hated you, to now, when my instinctive repugnance is enhanced by every minute's knowledge of you I have since had, you have been a loathsome creature to me which has not its like on earth; how then?'
He answered with a faint laugh, 'Ay! How then, my queen?'
'On that night, when, emboldened by the scene you had assisted at, you dared come to my room and speak to me,' she said, 'what passed?'
He shrugged his shoulders, and laughed
'What passed?' she said.
'Your memory is so distinct,' he said, 'that I have no doubt you can recall it.'
'I can,' she said. 'Hear it! Proposing then, this flight - not this flight, but the flight you thought it - you told me that in the having given you that meeting, and leaving you to be discovered there, if you so thought fit; and in the having suffered you to be alone with me many times before, - and having made the opportunities, you said, - and in the having openly avowed to you that I had no feeling for my husband but aversion, and no care for myself - I was lost; I had given you the power to traduce my name; and I lived, in virtuous reputation, at the pleasure of your breath'
'All stratagems in love - ' he interrupted, smiling. 'The old adage - '
'On that night,' said Edith, 'and then, the struggle that I long had had with something that was not respect for my good fame - that was I know not what - perhaps the clinging to that last retreat- was ended. On that night, and then, I turned from everything but passion and resentment. I struck a blow that laid your lofty master in the dust, and set you there, before me, looking at me now, and knowing what I mean.'
He sprung up from his chair with a great oath. She put her hand into her bosom, and not a finger trembled, not a hair upon her head was stirred. He stood still: she too: the table and chair between them.~
'When I forget that this man put his lips to mine that night, and held me in his arms as he has done again to-night,' said Edith, pointing at him; 'when I forget the taint of his kiss upon my cheek - the cheek that Florence would have laid her guiltless face against - when I forget my meeting with her, while that taint was hot upon me, and in what a flood the knowledge rushed upon me when I saw her, that in releasing her from the persecution I had caused by my love, I brought a shame and degradation on her name through mine, and in all time to come should be the solitary figure representing in her mind her first avoidance of a guilty creature - then, Husband, from whom I stand divorced henceforth, I will forget these last two years, and undo what I have done, and undeceive you!'
Her flashing eyes, uplifted for a moment, lighted again on Carker, and she held some letters out in her left hand.
'See these!' she said, contemptuously. 'You have addressed these to me in the false name you go by; one here, some elsewhere on my road. The seals are unbroken. Take them back!'
She crunched them in her hand, and tossed them to his feet. And as she looked upon him now, a smile was on her face.
'We meet and part to-night,' she said. 'You have fallen on Sicilian days and sensual rest, too soon. You might have cajoled, and fawned, and played your traitor's part, a little longer, and grown richer. You purchase your voluptuous retirement dear!'
'Edith!' he retorted, menacing her with his hand. 'Sit down! Have done with this! What devil possesses you?'
'Their name is Legion,' she replied, uprearing her proud form as if she would have crushed him; 'you and your master have raised them in a fruitful house, and they shall tear you both. False to him, false to his innocent child, false every way and everywhere, go forth and boast of me, and gnash your teeth, for once, to know that you are lying!'
He stood before her, muttering and menacing, and scowling round as if for something that would help him to conquer her; but with the same indomitable spirit she opposed him, without faltering.
'In every vaunt you make,' she said, 'I have my triumph I single out in you the meanest man I know, the parasite and tool of the proud tyrant, that his wound may go the deeper, and may rankle more. Boast, and revenge me on him! You know how you came here to-night; you know how you stand cowering there; you see yourself in colours quite as despicable, if not as odious, as those in which I see you. Boast then, and revenge me on yourself.'
The foam was on his lips; the wet stood on his forehead. If she would have faltered once for only one half-moment, he would have pinioned her; but she was as firm as rock, and her searching eyes never left him.
'We don't part so,' he said. 'Do you think I am drivelling, to let you go in your mad temper?'
'Do you think,' she answered, 'that I am to be stayed?'
'I'll try, my dear,' he said with a ferocious gesture of his head.
'God's mercy on you, if you try by coming near me!' she replied.
'And what,' he said, 'if there are none of these same boasts and vaunts on my part? What if I were to turn too? Come!' and his teeth fairly shone again. 'We must make a treaty of this, or I may take some unexpected course. Sit down, sit down!'
'Too late!' she cried, with eyes that seemed to sparkle fire. 'I have thrown my fame and good name to the winds! I have resolved to bear the shame that will attach to me - resolved to know that it attaches falsely - that you know it too - and that he does not, never can, and never shall. I'll die, and make no sign. For this, I am here alone with you, at the dead of night. For this, I have met you here, in a false name, as your wife. For this, I have been seen here by those men, and left here. Nothing can save you now.
He would have sold his soul to root her, in her beauty, to the floor, and make her arms drop at her sides, and have her at his mercy. But he could not look at her, and not be afraid of her. He saw a strength within her that was resistless. He saw that she was desperate, and that her unquenchable hatred of him would stop at nothing. His eyes followed the hand that was put with such rugged uncongenial purpose into her white bosom, and he thought that if it struck at hIm, and failed, it would strike there, just as soon.
He did not venture, therefore, to advance towards her; but the door by which he had entered was behind him, and he stepped back to lock it.
'Lastly, take my warning! Look to yourself!' she said, and smiled again. 'You have been betrayed, as all betrayers are. It has been made known that you are in this place, or were to be, or have been. If I live, I saw my husband in a carriage in the street to-night!'
'Strumpet, it's false!' cried Carker.
At the moment, the bell rang loudly in the hall. He turned white, as she held her hand up like an enchantress, at whose invocation the sound had come.
'Hark! do you hear it?'
He set his back against the door; for he saw a change in her, and fancied she was coming on to pass him. But, in a moment, she was gone through the opposite doors communicating with the bed-chamber, and they shut upon her.
Once turned, once changed in her inflexible unyielding look, he felt that he could cope with her. He thought a sudden terror, occasioned by this night-alarm, had subdued her; not the less readily, for her overwrought condition. Throwing open the doors, he followed, almost instantly.
But the room was dark; and as she made no answer to his call, he was fain to go back for the lamp. He held it up, and looked round, everywhere, expecting to see her crouching in some corner; but the room was empty. So, into the drawing-room and dining-room he went, in succession, with the uncertain steps of a man in a strange place; looking fearfully about, and prying behind screens and couches; but she was not there. No, nor in the hall, which was so bare that he could see that, at a glance.
All this time, the ringing at the bell was constantly renewed, and those without were beating at the door. He put his lamp down at a distance, and going near it, listened. There were several voices talking together: at least two of them in English; and though the door was thick, and there was great confusion, he knew one of these too well to doubt whose voice it was.
He took up his lamp again, and came back quickly through all the rooms, stopping as he quitted each, and looking round for her, with the light raised above his head. He was standing thus in the bed-chamber, when the door, leading to the little passage in the wall, caught his eye. He went to it, and found it fastened on the other side; but she had dropped a veil in going through, and shut it in the door.
All this time the people on the stairs were ringing at the bell, and knocking with their hands and feet.
He was not a coward: but these sounds; what had gone before; the strangeness of the place, which had confused him, even in his return from the hall; the frustration of his schemes (for, strange to say, he would have been much bolder, if they had succeeded); the unseasonable time; the recollection of having no one near to whom he could appeal for any friendly office; above all, the sudden sense, which made even his heart beat like lead, that the man whose confidence he had outraged, and whom he had so treacherously deceived, was there to recognise and challenge him with his mask plucked off his face; struck a panic through him. He tried the door in which the veil was shut, but couldn't force it. He opened one of the windows, and looked down through the lattice of the blind, into the court-yard; but it was a high leap, and the stones were pitiless.
The ringing and knocking still continuing - his panic too - he went back to the door in the bed-chamber, and with some new efforts, each more stubborn than the last, wrenched it open. Seeing the little staircase not far off, and feeling the night-air coming up, he stole back for his hat and coat, made the door as secure after hIm as he could, crept down lamp in hand, extinguished it on seeing the street, and having put it in a corner, went out where the stars were shining.
时间是在午夜差一个小时;地点是在法国的一套房间里,这套房间由几个房间组成:一间阴暗的,寒冷的门厅或走廊,一间餐厅,一间客厅,一间卧室,一间内客厅或闺房,最后这一间比其余各间小,也比其余各间隐僻。所有这些房间都被主要楼梯的两扇门关在里面,但是每间房间都有自己的两、三个门,通过不同的方式和其他房间相通,并和墙中间的一些狭小的通道通接,而且像这类房屋中常有的情形那样,通向后面的楼梯,后面的楼梯下面有一个隐蔽的出口,它通向外面的街道。整套房间位于一个旅馆的二层楼。旅馆很大,中间是一个方形的庭院,整座大楼的四面都朝着它。其中有一面的整排窗子并没有被这套房间完全占有。
这些房间气派豪华,但是光泽已失去很多,因此显出了令人忧伤的情调;房间的陈设耀眼夺目,处处炫示它的富丽堂皇,因此使人感到难于日常生活。墙壁和天花板已经镀过金和绘过图画;地板已经上过蜡,并擦得亮亮的;深红色的帷幔以花彩的形式从窗子上、门上和镜子上悬挂下来;枝形烛架像兽角一样,上面有好多节,弯弯曲曲地从墙壁的嵌板中伸出来。可是在白天,当格子式的百叶窗(现在关得紧紧的)打开,光线射进来的时候,从这些华丽的陈设中间可以看得出磨损与灰尘留下的痕迹,以及阳光、潮湿与烟雾留下的痕迹,也可以看得出这些房间已经长久未用,无人居住,因为这些供生命进行炫耀和玩乐的东西似乎像生命一样敏感,并像囚禁在监狱中的人们一样日渐衰老下去。甚至夜晚,一支支点燃的蜡烛也不能完全消除这些痕迹,虽然灿烂的光辉已使它们退缩到阴影之中。
这天夜里,只在一个房间——刚才提到的那个最小的房间——里,可以看见细小的蜡烛的明亮的光辉和它们在镜子里的映像,以及少许镀金和鲜艳的颜色。门厅里有一盏灯,发出暗淡的光,从门厅通过一长列黑暗的、开着的房门看过去,这个房间像宝石一样闪耀着光芒,也像宝石一样宝贵可爱。在它的光辉的中心坐着一位美丽的女人——伊迪丝。
她单独一人。仍然是那位目中无人、蔑视一切的女人。她的脸颊稍稍凹陷下去一些,眼睛看上去稍稍大了一些,而且更有光泽,可是傲慢的态度仍旧和过去一样。在她的脸上没有一点羞愧的表情;她高傲的脖子没有低垂下去,表示最近感到悔恨。她和过去一样专横、庄严,和过去一样对她本人和所有其他的人漠不关心;她现在坐在那里,等待什么人。
她没有看书,没有做针线活,除了独自沉思外,她没有别的活动来消磨这缓慢的时间。她心中正怀着某种决心,它强大得足以填补任何空隙的时间。她双唇紧闭,如果稍有片刻放松控制,它们就颤抖着;她的鼻孔张得大大的;两只手互相紧握着;她的决心在她心中变得愈来愈强烈,她坐着;等待着。
听到外面的门上转动钥匙的和门厅里的脚步声,她惊跳起来,喊道,“是谁?”回答是用法语说的,两个仆人端着发出叮当响声的托盘走进来,准备开晚饭。
她问是谁吩咐他们做这些事情的。
“是Monsieur(先生)订下这套房间的时候吩咐的。他enroute(在路途中)到这里待了一个钟头的时候说的。他还留下一封信给夫人——夫人想必收到了吧?”
“收到了。”
请原谅一千次!他因为突然担心信可能会被忘记转交,心慌得要命,所以才问了这个问题。他是一位秃头并留着大胡子的仆人,从邻近餐馆来的,他说:“Monsieur说过,晚餐必须在这个钟头准备好,还说,他在信中已预先通知了夫人。‘金头’餐馆感到十分荣幸,Monsieur要求它提供上等的、美味的晚餐。Monsieur将会发现,‘金头’没有辜负他的信任。”
伊迪丝不再说什么,若有所思地注视着他们在餐桌上摆放两个人的餐具,还在上面放了一瓶酒。在他们结束之前,她站起来,拿了一盏灯,走进卧室,又从卧室走进客厅;她在两间房间里匆忙而又仔细地察看了所有的门,特别是卧室里那扇通向墙中通道的门。她从这扇门中取出钥匙,放进朝外一边的钥匙孔中。然后她走回原处。
仆人们——第二位仆人是一个皮肤黝黑、脾气大的人,穿一件短上衣,胡子刮得光光的,黑头发剪得短短的——已经做完了准备餐桌的工作,正站在那里看着它。刚才讲过话的那位仆人问夫人,她想Monsieur是不是很快就会来到。
她不知道这一点。对她来说,这无所谓。
“请原谅!晚饭已经准备好了!应当立刻就吃。Monsieur(他法语说得像天使一样或说得像法国人一样——不论怎么说,反正都一样)曾经十分强调,他严守时刻。不过英国民族就是素以严守时刻而著称的。啊!什么!我的老天爷,MonBsieur一来了。请看他!”
Monsieur真的来了,是另一位仆人去开了门,让他进来的;他露出闪闪发光的牙齿,穿过黑暗的房间,像一只嘴巴似地走来了。当他走进这个光与颜色的圣所,显露出全部身形的时候,他拥抱了夫人,用法语称他为迷人的妻子。
“我的老天爷!夫人要晕倒了。夫人太高兴啦!”秃头并留着胡子的仆人注意到这一点,喊道。
夫人实际上只是往后退缩和打颤罢了。在仆人还没有说这些话之前,她已站在那里,把手搁在一张大椅子的丝绒椅背上;她身子挺得笔直,脸色十分呆板。
“弗朗索阿已飞跑到‘金头’去取晚饭了。这种时候他总是飞跑得像个天使或像一只鸟儿一样。Monsieur的行李就在他的房间里。一切都安排好了。晚饭就送到这里。”秃头的仆人连连鞠躬,满脸微笑地报告着这些事情。不一会儿,晚饭就送到了。
热菜放在酒精炉盆上;冷菜早已摆放在桌子上。备用的餐具放在餐具柜上。Monseur对这些安排感到满意。晚餐桌是小的,这使他很喜欢。他们应当把酒精炉盆放到地板上,然后离开。他将自己来拿菜。
“请原谅!”秃头的仆人彬彬有礼地说道,“这可不行!哪能这样呢?”
Monsieur是另一种意见。今天夜里他不要求他们侍候了。
“可是夫人——”秃头的仆人暗示道。
“夫人有她自己的侍女,”Monsieur回答道。
“请原谅一百万次!没有!夫人没有侍女!”
“我一个人到这里来的,”伊迪丝说道“我喜欢这样。我习惯于旅行;我不需要人侍候我。请不要给我派什么人来。”
因此,Monsieur坚持他原先提出的“这可不行”的建议,跟随两个侍者到外面的门口,把门关紧,这一夜就不让别人进来了。秃头的仆人在要走出去的时候,转过身来鞠躬,这时看到夫人依旧站在那里,手搁在大椅子的丝绒椅背上,她虽然直望着前面,但却很不注意他。
当卡克先生关门的在中间的各个房间中回响,并似乎要在最远的房间中完全沉寂下来的时候,大教堂的钟敲了十二下,两种在伊迪丝的耳朵里融合在一起。她听到他停下脚步,仿佛他也听到了,并正在听着;然后他又朝她走回来;在寂静中留下了一长串的脚步声;他一边走一边把所有的门都关上。她的手离开丝绒椅子一会儿,去拿桌子上她可以够得到的一把餐刀;然后她像先前一样站着。
“真奇怪,你怎么一个人到这里来,我亲爱的!”他走进来的时候,说道。
“什么?”她回答道。
她的声调十分刺耳,头转得十分猛烈,态度拒人于千里之外,眉毛阴沉地皱着,因此他手里拿着灯,站在那里望着她,仿佛她已使他无法动弹了。
“我说真奇怪,您怎么一个人到这里来!”他终于重复说道,一边把灯放下,露出他那极为谄媚的微笑,“确实,这是不必要的谨慎,并可能败坏事情。您应当在阿弗尔①或鲁昂②雇用一个侍女;您有充分的时间来做这件事,虽然您是个最反复无常、最难侍候的女人,不过也是最漂亮的,我亲爱的。”
她的眼睛向他奇怪地闪了一眼,但是她的手搁在椅子上并站在那里,没有说一个字。
“我从来没有看到您像今天夜里这么漂亮,”卡克先生重新说下去,“甚至在这最令人痛苦的考验中我保存在记忆中、日日夜夜思念着的形象也被真正的实体超过了。”
她没有说一个字,也没有向他看一眼。她的眼睛已完全被垂下的眼睫毛遮盖住了,但是她的头高昂着。
“考验的条件是多么艰难,多么严酷无情啊!”卡克微笑了一下,说道,“可是它们全都得到满足,并全都已经过去了,这使得现在更加美妙,更加安全。西西里③将是我们最后的避难处。在世界上这个最宁静、最安逸的地方,我的心灵儿,我们俩将为过去所受的奴役寻求补偿。”
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①阿弗尔(Havre):法国港市。
②鲁昂(Rouen):法国港市。
③西西里(Sicily):位于亚平宁半岛西南,是地中海最大岛屿,属意大利。
他快快活活地向她走来,可是她突然从桌子上拿起一把餐刀,向后退了一步。
“站住别动!”她喊道,“要不然我就杀死你!”
她突然发生的这个变化,她眼睛中闪射出的和在脸上表露出的极大的愤怒与强烈的憎恶使他站住,就仿佛一团火在他面前燃烧一样。
“站住别动!”她喊道,“别走近我,如果你还想活命的话!”
他们两人站住,相互看着。他的脸上露出愤怒与惊奇的表情,但是他控制着它们,并随便地说道:
“得了,得了!啐!这里就只我们两个人,谁也看不见我们,谁也听不见我们。难道您还要假装正经,要这种花招来吓唬我吗?”
“难道你以为向我提醒这个地方偏僻冷静、不能向近处求助,就可以吓唬我,使我放弃我的目的,离开我决心要走的道路吗?我是故意一个人在这里的,你能吓唬得了吗?如果我害怕你的话,那么难道我会不设法避开你吗?如果我害怕你的话,那么难道我会深更半夜在这里把我打算跟你说的话当面说给你听吗?”
“你打算说什么呢,你这个漂亮的泼妇?”他说道,“其他的女人在情绪最好的时候也不及你漂亮呢。”
“除非你回去坐到那张椅子里,否则我就什么也不跟你说,”她回答道,“要不我就再跟你说一遍:别走近我!走近一步也不行。我告诉你,如果你走近的话,那么我就当着老天爷的面杀死你!”
“你是不是把我错当成你的丈夫了?”他冷笑了一声,反问道。
她不屑回答,只是伸出胳膊,指着那张椅子。他咬着嘴唇,皱着眉头,大笑着,在那张椅子上坐下,设法掩藏他那副遭受挫折、迟疑不决和不耐烦的神态;虽然他假装出对她的反复无常感到开心的样子,但他却紧张不安地咬着指甲,斜眼看着她,心情痛苦,狼狈不堪。
她把餐刀放到桌子上,用手按着胸膛,说道:
“我在这里藏着一个东西,它并不是爱情的玩意儿。我不容忍你再次接触我,否则我就毫不迟疑地用它来对付你,比对付其他任何爬行动物都更乐意。——我现在说话的时候,你知道它是什么了。”
他假装开玩笑地哈哈大笑,请求她把这出喜剧赶快演完,因为晚饭已渐渐冷了。但是他却又绷着脸,皱着眉头,更加郁郁不乐地偷偷看着她,并且小声咒骂了一声,在地板上跺了一下脚。
“你曾经多少次以你那厚颜无耻的流氓行为对我进行迫害与侮辱,”伊迪丝用极为深沉的眼光看着他,说道,“你曾经多少次用你那圆滑的态度和嘲弄的话语与神色来讽刺我的订婚与结婚?你曾经多少次把我对那位可爱的、受害的女孩子的爱的创伤暴露出来,并划破它?你曾经多么经常地煽旺了我在这两年间被煎熬的火焰,使我痛苦得身子翻来转去?在我感到最痛苦的时刻,你又怎样唆使我进行不顾死活的报复?”
“我毫不怀疑,夫人,你记了一笔好帐,帐目是相当精确的。”他回答道,“得了,伊迪丝。这对你的丈夫,那个可怜的家伙,倒是很合适的。”
“唔,”她说道,一边高傲地怀着轻蔑与厌恶的情绪观察着他;不论他想怎样鼓起勇气抵挡它,他还是不由自主地蜷缩着身子;“如果说,我鄙视他的其他各种原因都可以像羽毛似地被吹走的话,那么他们你当作谋士和亲信这个原因几乎就足够抵得上其他所有原因,使我毫不改变地鄙视他。”
“这就是你跟我逃跑的原因吗?”他嘲笑地反问道。
“是的,这也就是我们为什么最后一次面对面在一起的原因。卑鄙的人!我们今天夜里见面,今天夜里分离。因为我把话说完之后,不会在这里再待一秒钟!”
他面目狰狞地看着她,用手紧紧抓住桌子,但没有站起来,也没有回答她或威胁她。
“我是个从童年时代就受到羞辱并得到锻炼的女人。”她坚定地面对着他,说道,“我曾经被标价出卖,并遭到拒绝;我曾经被陈列出来拍卖,让人们估价,直到我内心深感厌恶为止。我的才能与技艺,本可成为我的娱乐,可是没有一件不被拿到市场上去炫示、贩卖,以增加我的身价,就像叫卖的人沿街大声叫卖一样。我的贫穷的、高傲的朋友们前来观看并进行赞扬;我们之间所有的纽带在我胸中都已断裂了。他们当中没有一个人我能像我关心一条我所喜爱的狗那样关心他。我在这世界上孤独一人,并很清楚地记住这世界对我是多么虚伪,而我本人又是它的多么虚伪的一部分。你知道这一点,你也知道我在社会上的名誉对我毫无价值。”
“是的,我猜想是这样,”他说道。
“你也正指望着这一点!”她回答道,“所以就来追求我。我已变得对一切太漠不关心,所以对那双把我塑造成现在这个样子的那双手的日常工作①,我只是漠不关心而不会提出任何反对。我知道,我结了婚至少可以阻止他们把我到处兜售;我听凭自己被可耻地卖出去,就像脖子上套着绳圈、在任何市场上被卖出去的任何女人一样。你知道这一点。”
--------
①指上帝安排日常世事。
“是的,”他露出所有的牙齿,说道,“我知道这一点。”
“你也正指望着这一点!”她回答道,“所以就来追求我。从我结婚的那一天起,我发现我面临着一种新的羞辱——面临着一位卑鄙的恶棍的勾引与追求(那就仿佛是用最粗野的文字写在纸上一样清楚,这张纸又经常不断地被塞到我的手里);它使我感到,仿佛直到这时候我才开始明白屈辱是什么。这羞辱是我的丈夫给我安排好的,是他亲自把我关进羞辱的圈子中,是他亲自把我浸泡在羞辱的水中,而且自愿地重复做了几百次。就这样,这两个人迫使我失去了我的任何安宁,这两个人迫使我放弃了我内心最后剩余的一点爱与温情,或者给我的爱与温情的对象招致了新的不幸;就这样,我从一个人那里被赶到另一个人那里;当我避开了一个人的时候,我却被另一个人所困扰——,我对他们两人的愤怒几乎达到了发狂的地步。我不知道对谁更愤怒,是对主人呢还是对他的奴仆!”
当美丽的她以胜利者的姿态愤怒地站在他的面前时,他目不转睛地注视着她。他看到,她是坚决的,无畏的,对他就像对一个虫子一样,毫不害怕。
“关于荣誉或贞洁,我有什么可以对你说的呢!”她继续说下去,“这对你有什么意义呢,对我又有什么意义呢!可是如果我对你说,你的手稍稍碰到我一下,我的血就会由于厌恶而发冷;如果我对你说,从我第一次看到你和憎恨你的时候开始,直到现在,我对你愈益了解,我对你的本能的反感就愈益增强,因此,对我来说,你一直是一个我讨厌的东西,在世界上再也找不到它的同类了;可是如果我对你说这些,那么又将怎样呢?”
他轻轻地笑了一下,回答道,“是呀!那么又将怎样呢,我的皇后?”
“那天夜里,在那个你曾助了一臂之力的场面出现之后,你鼓起勇气,胆敢走进我的房间对我说话,”她说道,“那以后的事情是怎样的?”
他耸耸肩膀,又大笑着。
“那以后的事情是怎样的?”她又问道。
“你的记性很好,”他回答道,“我毫不怀疑,你能记得。”
“是的,我能,”她说道,“听着吧!那时你建议逃走——不是像这样的逃走,而是他你所想的那样逃走——;你对我说,因为我准许你进行那次会晤,让你可能在那里被找到(如果你认为那样是合适的话),因为我以前好多次允许你跟我单独在一起,并为这提供了机会(你是这样说的),还因为我直言不讳地向你承认,我对我的丈夫除了厌恶之外没有别的感情,而且我对我自己不关心,这样我就把我自己断送了;你还说,我给了你诽谤我名声的权力;我今后是否保住贞洁的声誉就全凭你怎么说了。”
“在爱情中的一切策略——”他笑嘻嘻地打断说,“古老的谚语——”
“在那天夜里,”伊迪丝说道,“我长久以来一直在进行的一个斗争终止了,那绝不是为关心我的美好名声而进行的斗争。我不知道是在跟什么进行斗争,——也许是在跟我内心剩余的那点爱与温情斗争吧。那天夜里,我除了愤怒与怨恨外,抛弃了其他一切感情。我打出一拳,它使你的傲慢的主人蒙受了奇耻大辱,并迫使你现在在这里站在我面前,望着我,并了解我的用意是什么。”
他大声地咀咒了一声,从椅子上跳了起来。她把手伸进怀里,没有一个手指发抖,没有一根头发动一动。他一动不动地站着,她也一动不动地站着,在他们中间隔着一张桌子和一把椅子。
“今后如果我已忘记这个人那天夜里就像他今天夜里又这样做的一样,把他的嘴唇压到我的嘴唇上,并把我搂在他的怀里的话,”伊迪丝指着他,说道,“今后如果我已忘记他的吻在我的脸颊(这是弗洛伦斯愿意将她天真无邪的小脸紧贴着的脸颊)上留下的污点的话,今后如果我已忘记当这污点还在我脸上发烧时,我曾经遇见她的话(当我看见她的时候,我突然思潮如涌地想起,我对她的爱会使她遭受迫害;我的逃走虽然可以使她免遭这种迫害,但我却由于自己不顾耻辱与堕落,给她的名声也蒙上了耻辱,造成了损害,因此在她的心中今后我将永远是一个她必须首先避开的罪人了),今后如果我把这一切都已忘记的话,那么,那时候,我的丈夫,从今以后我已与您离婚的丈夫,我将忘记最近的这两年,向您解释我所做的事情,使您醒悟过来!”
她闪闪发光的眼睛抬起一会儿,然后又停落在卡克身上;
她把左手里拿着的几封信向他递过去。
“看这些信!”她轻蔑地说道,“你把这些信寄给我,信封上还用你杜撰的名义来称呼我:一封信交到这里,其他的几封留在我路途中停留的地方。这些信全都没有拆开。拿回去吧。”
她把它们揉成一团,投掷在他的脚边。当她重新看着他的时候,她脸上露出一丝微笑。
“我们今天夜里见面,今天夜里分离,”她说道。“你对西西里的日子和淫荡欢乐的休息想得太早了。你本可以继续哄骗,继续溜须拍马,把你那奸诈的角色扮演得稍许长久一些,钱挣得更多一些。你已为贪恋女色的退隐生活付出了昂贵的代价了!”
“伊迪丝,”他做了个威胁的手势,回答道,“坐下,把这一套收起来吧!什么魔鬼附着在你身上了!”
“他们人数很多,”她回答道,一边高傲地挺直身子,仿佛她想要把他压碎似的,“你和你的主人把他们在适宜繁殖的房屋里养育起来;他们将把你们撕得粉碎!你对他虚伪;你对他的天真的孩子虚伪;你用各种手段在各个地方进行虚伪的勾当;现在你向前走吧,去吹嘘你对我的胜利吧,然后咬牙切齿地知道你是在撒谎吧!”
他站在她面前,抱怨着,威胁着,并愁眉苦脸地环视着四周,仿佛在寻找什么可以帮助他战胜她的东西似的;但是她跟先前一样坚强不屈地面对着他,毫不畏缩。
“在你所夸耀的每一个地方,我都取得了胜利;”她说道,“我把你当作我所知道的最卑鄙的人,当作那位高傲的暴君的寄生虫与工具挑选出来,这是为了使他的创伤可以更深些,更痛些;你去吹嘘吧,为我对他进行报复吧。你知道,你今天夜里是怎样到这里来的;你知道,你是怎样畏畏缩缩地站在那里的;如果你不能像我那样看到你自己那令人厌恶的真面目的话,那么你总能像我那样看到你自己那卑鄙的真面目了。
你去吹嘘吧,并为你自己对我进行报复吧。”
他的嘴里吐出白沫,额上流出汗珠。如果她曾经畏缩过哪怕一刹那的话,那么他就会捆住她的两只手;可是她像岩石一样坚定,她的锐利的眼光从没有离开过他。
“我们不能这样分离,”他说道,“难道你以为我这样愚蠢,会让你这样疯疯癫癫地走掉吗?”
“难道你以为,你能留得住我吗?”
“我要试一试,我亲爱的,”他的头凶猛地作了一个威胁的姿态。
“愿上帝怜悯你,如果你要试试走近我的话。”
“如果我以后不吹嘘、夸耀,那么怎么样呢?”他说道,“如果我已转变了,那么怎么样呢?”他的牙齿又闪出亮光。
“我们必须在这个问题上达成一项协议,否则我就会采取你所意想不到的步骤。坐下,坐下!”
“太晚了!”她喊道,眼睛似乎要冒出火星来了。“我已经把我的声望与名誉抛到九霄云外去了!我已决定忍受将落到我头上的耻辱;我知道它是我所不应当得到的——你也知道这一点,而他是不知道的,永远不能知道,也将永远不会知道的。我将无声无息、不作任何表白地死去!为了这个目的我在深更半夜单独跟你在一起。为了这个目的我以你的妻子这个虚假的名义在这里跟你会见。为了这个目的,我听凭这些仆人在这里看到我,然后把我在这里独自留下来。现在什么也不能救你了。”
如果他能把姿容美丽的她扎根在地板上,使她的胳膊垂落在身体两侧,使她完全听凭他摆布的话,那么他真愿意把他的灵魂出卖掉。可是他看到她的时候不能不害怕她。他看到在她身上有一股不可抗拒的力量。他看到她是不顾一切的,她对他的不能熄灭的憎恨不会在什么地方停住。他的眼光跟随着她,看到她怀着粗暴无情、毫不迁就的决心,把手伸进衣服,放在雪白的胸脯上;他想,如果她的手来打他、没打中的话,那么它就会很快接下去打她自己的胸脯的。
因此,他不敢走近她;但是他走进来的门是在他的身后,所以他就走回去把门锁上。
“最后,请听一下我的警告!你自己得当心点!”她又微笑着说道,“就像所有背信弃义的人一样,你已经被人出卖了。他已经知道,你现在在这里,或者将要到这里来,或者一直在这里。今天夜里我确实看见我的丈夫在街上乘坐在一辆四轮马车里!”
“婊子,你撒谎!”卡克喊道。
就在这时候,门厅里的铃大声响着。当她像女巫一样举起手来,在她的符咒的召唤下,传过来的时候,他的脸色发白了。
“听!你听到了吗?”
他用背顶着门;因为他看到她发生了点变化,以为她正走来想从他身边闪过去。可是她在片刻间走进对面通到卧室的门里去,把门砰地一声关上了。
一旦她有了转变,一旦她的坚定不屈的眼光转到别处,他觉得他就能对付她。他想这夜间警报引起的突然惊恐已经征服了她,因为就是没有这惊恐她也已过度疲劳了。他推开门急忙跟着她进去。
可是房间鱼黑洞洞的,他喊她她又没有回答,所以他只好回来拿灯。他把灯举得高高的,仔细观察着四周,指望她蹲伏在什么角落里;可是房间里空无一人。因此,他像一个在陌生地方走路的人那样迈着迟疑不决的步子,走进客厅,接着又走进餐厅,害怕地环视四周,并在屏风与躺椅后面窥视;可是她不在那里;她也不在门厅里,门厅里空荡荡的,他一眼就可以看得清清楚楚。
在这段时间里,铃声一直不断地重新震响着。外面一些人在敲门。他把灯放在离门较远的地方,走近门口,仔细倾听。有好几个在交谈,至少有两个人是说英语的。虽然门是厚实的,也很嘈杂,但他对当中一个人的熟悉极了,所以毫不怀疑这是谁的。
他又拿起灯,很快穿过所有的房间往回走;在离开每个房间的时候,他都停下脚步,把灯举得比头还高,往四下里看看有没有她。当他这样站在卧室里的时候,那扇通向墙中通道的门突然吸引了他的注意。他走到那扇门旁,发现它从外面被锁上了。不过她在穿过这扇门的时候,掉了一块面纱,它被夹在门缝里。
在这段时间里,楼上的人们一直在拉着铃并用手敲着门,用脚踢着门。
他并不是个胆小鬼,可是这些敲门的正不断传来;在这以前发生的事情使他意气懊丧;这个地方对他是生疏的(甚至当他从门厅回来的时候,这也使他感到慌乱);他的计划已遭到失败(因为说起来奇怪,如果他取得成功的话,那么他会大胆得多);现在的时间是很不合适的;他记起他在近处没有什么人可以请求给予友好的帮助;特别重要的是,他心中突然感觉到(这甚至使他的心感到像铅一样沉重),他已辜负了他的信任、奸诈地欺骗了他的那个人正拿着从他脸上摘下的假面具,在这里要寻到他,向他挑战;——所有这一切,使他感到恐慌。他试图弄开那扇夹着面纱的门,可是他怎么用力也弄不开。他打开一扇窗子,通过百叶窗的格子往下面的庭院里看;但是要往下跳实在太高了,地面上的石头是冷酷无情的。
铃声和敲门声依旧继续在响着——他也继续处在恐慌的状态中——,他回到卧室中的那扇门旁,重新做出努力,每一次都比上一次更顽强地使劲,终于把它扭开了。他看到小楼梯就在不远的地方,同时感觉到夜间的冷空气迎面袭来,于是就悄悄地又回来取帽子和外衣,并把他后面的门尽量关牢;然后他手里拿着灯,蹑手蹑脚地从梯子上走下去;当他看到街道的时候,他灭了灯,把它搁在一个角落里,并走到星光正在照耀着的外面。
慕若涵

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Chapter 55
Rob the Grinder loses his Place
The Porter at the iron gate which shut the court-yard from the street, had left the little wicket of his house open, and was gone away; no doubt to mingle in the distant noise at the door of the great staircase. Lifting the latch softly, Carker crept out, and shutting the jangling gate after him with as little noise as possible, hurried off.
In the fever of his mortification and unavailing rage, the panic that had seized upon him mastered him completely. It rose to such a height that he would have blindly encountered almost any risk, rather than meet the man of whom, two hours ago, he had been utterly regardless. His fierce arrival, which he had never expected; the sound of his voice; their having been so near a meeting, face to face; he would have braved out this, after the first momentary shock of alarm, and would have put as bold a front upon his guilt as any villain. But the springing of his mine upon himself, seemed to have rent and shivered all his hardihood and self-reliance. Spurned like any reptile; entrapped and mocked; turned upon, and trodden down by the proud woman whose mind he had slowly poisoned, as he thought, until she had sunk into the mere creature of his pleasure; undeceived in his deceit, and with his fox's hide stripped off, he sneaked away, abashed, degraded, and afraid.
Some other terror came upon hIm quite removed from this of being pursued, suddenly, like an electric shock, as he was creeping through the streets Some visionary terror, unintelligible and inexplicable, asssociated with a trembling of the ground, - a rush and sweep of something through the air, like Death upon the wing. He shrunk, as if to let the thing go by. It was not gone, it never had been there, yet what a startling horror it had left behind.
He raised his wicked face so full of trouble, to the night sky, where the stars, so full of peace, were shining on him as they had been when he first stole out into the air; and stopped to think what he should do. The dread of being hunted in a strange remote place, where the laws might not protect him - the novelty of the feeling that it was strange and remote, originating in his being left alone so suddenly amid the ruins of his plans - his greater dread of seeking refuge now, in Italy or in Sicily, where men might be hired to assissinate him, he thought, at any dark street corner-the waywardness of guilt and fear - perhaps some sympathy of action with the turning back of all his schemes - impelled him to turn back too, and go to England.
'I am safer there, in any case. If I should not decide,' he thought, 'to give this fool a meeting, I am less likely to be traced there, than abroad here, now. And if I should (this cursed fit being over), at least I shall not be alone, with out a soul to speak to, or advise with, or stand by me. I shall not be run in upon and worried like a rat.'
He muttered Edith's name, and clenched his hand. As he crept along, in the shadow of the massive buildings, he set his teeth, and muttered dreadful imprecations on her head, and looked from side to side, as if in search of her. Thus, he stole on to the gate of an inn-yard. The people were a-bed; but his ringing at the bell soon produced a man with a lantern, in company with whom he was presently in a dim coach-house, bargaining for the hire of an old phaeton, to Paris.
The bargain was a short one; and the horses were soon sent for. Leaving word that the carriage was to follow him when they came, he stole away again, beyond the town, past the old ramparts, out on the open road, which seemed to glide away along the dark plain, like a stream.
Whither did it flow? What was the end of it? As he paused, with some such suggestion within him, looking over the gloomy flat where the slender trees marked out the way, again that flight of Death came rushing up, again went on, impetuous and resistless, again was nothing but a horror in his mind, dark as the scene and undefined as its remotest verge.
There was no wind; there was no passing shadow on the deep shade of the night; there was no noise. The city lay behind hIm, lighted here and there, and starry worlds were hidden by the masonry of spire and roof that hardly made out any shapes against the sky. Dark and lonely distance lay around him everywhere, and the clocks were faintly striking two.
He went forward for what appeared a long time, and a long way; often stopping to listen. At last the ringing of horses' bells greeted his anxious ears. Now softer, and now louder, now inaudible, now ringing very slowly over bad ground, now brisk and merry, it came on; until with a loud shouting and lashing, a shadowy postillion muffled to the eyes, checked his four struggling horses at his side.
'Who goes there! Monsieur?'
'Yes.'
'Monsieur has walked a long way in the dark midnight.'
'No matter. Everyone to his task. Were there any other horses ordered at the Post-house?'
'A thousand devils! - and pardons! other horses? at this hour? No.'
'Listen, my friend. I am much hurried. Let us see how fast we can travel! The faster, the more money there will be to drink. Off we go then! Quick!'
'Halloa! whoop! Halloa! Hi!' Away, at a gallop, over the black landscape, scattering the dust and dirt like spray!
The clatter and commotion echoed to the hurry and discordance of the fugitive's ideas. Nothing clear without, and nothing clear within. Objects flitting past, merging into one another, dimly descried, confusedly lost sight of, gone! Beyond the changing scraps of fence and cottage immediately upon the road, a lowering waste. Beyond the shifting images that rose up in his mind and vanished as they showed themselves, a black expanse of dread and rage and baffled villainy. Occasionally, a sigh of mountain air came from the distant Jura, fading along the plain. Sometimes that rush which was so furious and horrible, again came sweeping through his fancy, passed away, and left a chill upon his blood.
The lamps, gleaming on the medley of horses' heads, jumbled with the shadowy driver, and the fluttering of his cloak, made a thousand indistinct shapes, answering to his thoughts. Shadows of familiar people, stooping at their desks and books, in their remembered attitudes; strange apparitions of the man whom he was flying from, or of Edith; repetitions in the ringing bells and rolling wheels, of words that had been spoken; confusions of time and place, making last night a month ago, a month ago last night - home now distant beyond hope, now instantly accessible; commotion, discord, hurry, darkness, and confusion in his mind, and all around him. - Hallo! Hi! away at a gallop over the black landscape; dust and dirt flying like spray, the smoking horses snorting and plunging as if each of them were ridden by a demon, away in a frantic triumph on the dark road - whither?
Again the nameless shock comes speeding up, and as it passes, the bells ring in his ears 'whither?' The wheels roar in his ears 'whither?' All the noise and rattle shapes itself into that cry. The lights and shadows dance upon the horses' heads like imps. No stopping now: no slackening! On, on Away with him upon the dark road wildly!
He could not think to any purpose. He could not separate one subject of reflection from another, sufficiently to dwell upon it, by itself, for a minute at a time. The crash of his project for the gaining of a voluptuous compensation for past restraint; the overthrow of his treachery to one who had been true and generous to him, but whose least proud word and look he had treasured up, at interest, for years - for false and subtle men will always secretly despise and dislike the object upon which they fawn and always resent the payment and receipt of homage that they know to be worthless; these were the themes uppermost in his mind. A lurking rage against the woman who had so entrapped him and avenged herself was always there; crude and misshapen schemes of retaliation upon her, floated in his brain; but nothing was distinct. A hurry and contradiction pervaded all his thoughts. Even while he was so busy with this fevered, ineffectual thinking, his one constant idea was, that he would postpone reflection until some indefinite time.
Then, the old days before the second marriage rose up in his remembrance. He thought how jealous he had been of the boy, how jealous he had been of the girl, how artfully he had kept intruders at a distance, and drawn a circle round his dupe that none but himself should cross; and then he thought, had he done all this to be flying now, like a scared thief, from only the poor dupe?
He could have laid hands upon himself for his cowardice, but it was the very shadow of his defeat, and could not be separated from it. To have his confidence in his own knavery so shattered at a blow - to be within his own knowledge such a miserable tool - was like being paralysed. With an impotent ferocity he raged at Edith, and hated Mr Dombey and hated himself, but still he fled, and could do nothing else.
Again and again he listened for the sound of wheels behind. Again and again his fancy heard it, coming on louder and louder. At last he was so persuaded of this, that he cried out, 'Stop' preferring even the loss of ground to such uncertainty.
The word soon brought carriage, horses, driver, all in a heap together, across the road.
'The devil!' cried the driver, looking over his shoulder, 'what's the matter?'
'Hark! What's that?'
'What?'
'That noise?'
'Ah Heaven, be quiet, cursed brigand!' to a horse who shook his bells 'What noise?'
'Behind. Is it not another carriage at a gallop? There! what's that?' Miscreant with a Pig's head, stand still!' to another horse, who bit another, who frightened the other two, who plunged and backed. 'There is nothing coming.'
'Nothing.'
'No, nothing but the day yonder.'
'You are right, I think. I hear nothing now, indeed. Go on!'
The entangled equipage, half hidden in the reeking cloud from the horses, goes on slowly at first, for the driver, checked unnecessarily in his progress, sulkily takes out a pocket-knife, and puts a new lash to his whip. Then 'Hallo, whoop! Hallo, hi!' Away once more, savagely.
And now the stars faded, and the day glimmered, and standing in the carriage, looking back, he could discern the track by which he had come, and see that there was no traveller within view, on all the heavy expanse. And soon it was broad day, and the sun began to shine on cornfields and vineyards; and solitary labourers, risen from little temporary huts by heaps of stones upon the road, were, here and there, at work repairing the highway, or eating bread. By and by, there were peasants going to their daily labour, or to market, or lounging at the doors of poor cottages, gazing idly at him as he passed. And then there was a postyard, ankle-deep in mud, with steaming dunghills and vast outhouses half ruined; and looking on this dainty prospect, an immense, old, shadeless, glaring, stone chateau, with half its windows blinded, and green damp crawling lazily over it, from the balustraded terrace to the taper tips of the extinguishers upon the turrets.
Gathered up moodily in a corner of the carriage, and only intent on going fast - except when he stood up, for a mile together, and looked back; which he would do whenever there was a piece of open country - he went on, still postponing thought indefinitely, and still always tormented with thinking to no purpose.
Shame, disappointment, and discomfiture gnawed at his heart; a constant apprehension of being overtaken, or met - for he was groundlessly afraid even of travellers, who came towards him by the way he was going - oppressed him heavily. The same intolerable awe and dread that had come upon him in the night, returned unweakened in the day. The monotonous ringing of the bells and tramping of the horses; the monotony of his anxiety, and useless rage; the monotonous wheel of fear, regret, and passion, he kept turning round and round; made the journey like a vision, in which nothing was quite real but his own torment.
It was a vision of long roads, that stretched away to an horizon, always receding and never gained; of ill-paved towns, up hill and down, where faces came to dark doors and ill-glazed windows, and where rows of mudbespattered cows and oxen were tied up for sale in the long narrow streets, butting and lowing, and receiving blows on their blunt heads from bludgeons that might have beaten them in; of bridges, crosses, churches, postyards, new horses being put in against their wills, and the horses of the last stage reeking, panting, and laying their drooping heads together dolefully at stable doors; of little cemeteries with black crosses settled sideways in the graves, and withered wreaths upon them dropping away; again of long, long roads, dragging themselves out, up hill and down, to the treacherous horizon.
Of morning, noon, and sunset; night, and the rising of an early moon. Of long roads temporarily left behind, and a rough pavement reached; of battering and clattering over it, and looking up, among house-roofs, at a great church-tower; of getting out and eating hastily, and drinking draughts of wine that had no cheering influence; of coming forth afoot, among a host of beggars - blind men with quivering eyelids, led by old women holding candles to their faces; idiot girls; the lame, the epileptic, and the palsied - of passing through the clamour, and looking from his seat at the upturned countenances and outstretched hands, with a hurried dread of recognising some pursuer pressing forward - of galloping away again, upon the long, long road, gathered up, dull and stunned, in his corner, or rising to see where the moon shone faintly on a patch of the same endless road miles away, or looking back to see who followed.
Of never sleeping, but sometimes dozing with unclosed eyes, and springing up with a start, and a reply aloud to an imaginary voice. Of cursing himself for being there, for having fled, for having let her go, for not having confronted and defied him. Of having a deadly quarrel with the whole world, but chiefly with himself. Of blighting everything with his black mood as he was carried on and away.
It was a fevered vision of things past and present all confounded together; of his life and journey blended into one. Of being madly hurried somewhere, whither he must go. Of old scenes starting up among the novelties through which he travelled. Of musing and brooding over what was past and distant, and seeming to take no notice of the actual objects he encountered, but with a wearisome exhausting consciousness of being bewildered by them, and having their images all crowded in his hot brain after they were gone.
A vision of change upon change, and still the same monotony of bells and wheels, and horses' feet, and no rest. Of town and country, postyards, horses, drivers, hill and valley, light and darkness, road and pavement, height and hollow, wet weather and dry, and still the same monotony of bells and wheels, and horses' feet, and no rest. A vision of tending on at last, towards the distant capital, by busier roads, and sweeping round, by old cathedrals, and dashing through small towns and villages, less thinly scattered on the road than formerly, and sitting shrouded in his corner, with his cloak up to his face, as people passing by looked at him.
Of rolling on and on, always postponing thought, and always racked with thinking; of being unable to reckon up the hours he had been upon the road, or to comprehend the points of time and place in his journey. Of being parched and giddy, and half mad. Of pressing on, in spite of all, as if he could not stop, and coming into Paris, where the turbid river held its swift course undisturbed, between two brawling streams of life and motion.
A troubled vision, then, of bridges, quays, interminable streets; of wine-shops, water-carriers, great crowds of people, soldiers, coaches, military drums, arcades. Of the monotony of bells and wheels and horses' feet being at length lost in the universal din and uproar. Of the gradual subsidence of that noise as he passed out in another carriage by a different barrier from that by which he had entered. Of the restoration, as he travelled on towards the seacoast, of the monotony of bells and wheels, and horses' feet, and no rest.
Of sunset once again, and nightfall. Of long roads again, and dead of night, and feeble lights in windows by the roadside; and still the old monotony of bells and wheels, and horses' feet, and no rest. Of dawn, and daybreak, and the rising of the sun. Of tolling slowly up a hill, and feeling on its top the fresh sea-breeze; and seeing the morning light upon the edges of the distant waves. Of coming down into a harbour when the tide was at its full, and seeing fishing-boats float on, and glad women and children waiting for them. Of nets and seamen's clothes spread out to dry upon the shore; of busy saIlors, and their voices high among ships' masts and rigging; of the buoyancy and brightness of the water, and the universal sparkling.
Of receding from the coast, and looking back upon it from the deck when it was a haze upon the water, with here and there a little opening of bright land where the Sun struck. Of the swell, and flash, and murmur of the calm sea. Of another grey line on the ocean, on the vessel's track, fast growing clearer and higher. Of cliffs and buildings, and a windmill, and a church, becoming more and more visible upon it. Of steaming on at last into smooth water, and mooring to a pier whence groups of people looked down, greeting friends on board. Of disembarking, passing among them quickly, shunning every one; and of being at last again in England.
He had thought, in his dream, of going down into a remote country-place he knew, and lying quiet there, while he secretly informed himself of what transpired, and determined how to act, Still in the same stunned condition, he remembered a certain station on the railway, where he would have to branch off to his place of destination, and where there was a quiet Inn. Here, he indistinctly resolved to tarry and rest.
With this purpose he slunk into a railway carriage as quickly as he could, and lying there wrapped in his cloak as if he were asleep, was soon borne far away from the sea, and deep into the inland green. Arrived at his destination he looked out, and surveyed it carefully. He was not mistaken in his impression of the place. It was a retired spot, on the borders of a little wood. Only one house, newly-built or altered for the purpose, stood there, surrounded by its neat garden; the small town that was nearest, was some miles away. Here he alighted then; and going straight into the tavern, unobserved by anyone, secured two rooms upstairs communicating with each other, and sufficiently retired.
His object was to rest, and recover the command of himself, and the balance of his mind. Imbecile discomfiture and rage - so that, as he walked about his room, he ground his teeth - had complete possession of him. His thoughts, not to be stopped or directed, still wandered where they would, and dragged him after them. He was stupefied, and he was wearied to death.
But, as if there were a curse upon him that he should never rest again, his drowsy senses would not lose their consciousness. He had no more influence with them, in this regard, than if they had been another man's. It was not that they forced him to take note of present sounds and objects, but that they would not be diverted from the whole hurried vision of his journey. It was constantly before him all at once. She stood there, with her dark disdainful eyes again upon him; and he was riding on nevertheless, through town and country, light and darkness, wet weather and dry, over road and pavement, hill and valley, height and hollow, jaded and scared by the monotony of bells and wheels, and horses' feet, and no rest.
'What day is this?' he asked of the waiter, who was making preparations for his dinner.
'Day, Sir?'
'Is it Wednesday?'
'Wednesday, Sir? No, Sir. Thursday, Sir.'
'I forgot. How goes the time? My watch is unwound.'
'Wants a few minutes of five o'clock, Sir. Been travelling a long time, Sir, perhaps?'
'Yes'
'By rail, Sir?'
'Yes'
'Very confusing, Sir. Not much in the habit of travelling by rail myself, Sir, but gentlemen frequently say so.'
'Do many gentlemen come here?
'Pretty well, Sir, in general. Nobody here at present. Rather slack just now, Sir. Everything is slack, Sir.'
He made no answer; but had risen into a sitting posture on the sofa where he had been lying, and leaned forward with an arm on each knee, staring at the ground. He could not master his own attention for a minute together. It rushed away where it would, but it never, for an instant, lost itself in sleep.
He drank a quantity of wine after dinner, in vain. No such artificial means would bring sleep to his eyes. His thoughts, more incoherent, dragged him more unmercifully after them - as if a wretch, condemned to such expiation, were drawn at the heels of wild horses. No oblivion, and no rest.
How long he sat, drinking and brooding, and being dragged in imagination hither and thither, no one could have told less correctly than he. But he knew that he had been sitting a long time by candle-light, when he started up and listened, in a sudden terror.
For now, indeed, it was no fancy. The ground shook, the house rattled, the fierce impetuous rush was in the air! He felt it come up, and go darting by; and even when he had hurried to the window, and saw what it was, he stood, shrinking from it, as if it were not safe to look.
A curse upon the fiery devil, thundering along so smoothly, tracked through the distant valley by a glare of light and lurid smoke, and gone! He felt as if he had been plucked out of its path, and saved from being torn asunder. It made him shrink and shudder even now, when its faintest hum was hushed, and when the lines of iron road he could trace in the moonlight, running to a point, were as empty and as silent as a desert.
Unable to rest, and irresistibly attracted - or he thought so - to this road, he went out, and lounged on the brink of it, marking the way the train had gone, by the yet smoking cinders that were lying in its track. After a lounge of some half hour in the direction by which it had disappeared, he turned and walked the other way - still keeping to the brink of the road - past the inn garden, and a long way down; looking curiously at the bridges, signals, lamps, and wondering when another Devil would come by.
A trembling of the ground, and quick vibration in his ears; a distant shriek; a dull light advancing, quickly changed to two red eyes, and a fierce fire, dropping glowing coals; an irresistible bearing on of a great roaring and dilating mass; a high wind, and a rattle - another come and gone, and he holding to a gate, as if to save himself!
He waited for another, and for another. He walked back to his former point, and back again to that, and still, through the wearisome vision of his journey, looked for these approaching monsters. He loitered about the station, waiting until one should stay to call there; and when one did, and was detached for water, he stood parallel with it, watching its heavy wheels and brazen front, and thinking what a cruel power and might it had. Ugh! To see the great wheels slowly turning, and to think of being run down and crushed!
Disordered with wine and want of rest - that want which nothing, although he was so weary, would appease - these ideas and objects assumed a diseased importance in his thoughts. When he went back to his room, which was not until near midnight, they still haunted him, and he sat listening for the coming of another.
So in his bed, whither he repaired with no hope of sleep. He still lay listening; and when he felt the trembling and vibration, got up and went to the window, to watch (as he could from its position) the dull light changing to the two red eyes, and the fierce fire dropping glowing coals, and the rush of the giant as it fled past, and the track of glare and smoke along the valley. Then he would glance in the direction by which he intended to depart at sunrise, as there was no rest for him there; and would lie down again, to be troubled by the vision of his journey, and the old monotony of bells and wheels and horses' feet, until another came. This lasted all night. So far from resuming the mastery of himself, he seemed, if possible, to lose it more and more, as the night crept on. When the dawn appeared, he was still tormented with thinking, still postponing thought until he should be in a better state; the past, present, and future all floated confusedly before him, and he had lost all power of looking steadily at any one of them.
'At what time,' he asked the man who had waited on hIm over-night, now entering with a candle, 'do I leave here, did you say?'
'About a quarter after four, Sir. Express comes through at four, Sir. - It don't stop.
He passed his hand across his throbbing head, and looked at his watch. Nearly half-past three.
'Nobody going with you, Sir, probably,' observed the man. 'Two gentlemen here, Sir, but they're waiting for the train to London.'
'I thought you said there was nobody here,' said Carker, turning upon him with the ghost of his old smile, when he was angry or suspicious.
'Not then, sir. Two gentlemen came in the night by the short train that stops here, Sir. Warm water, Sir?'
'No; and take away the candle. There's day enough for me.'
Having thrown himself upon the bed, half-dressed he was at the window as the man left the room. The cold light of morning had succeeded to night and there was already, in the sky, the red suffusion of the coming sun. He bathed his head and face with water - there was no cooling influence in it for him - hurriedly put on his clothes, paid what he owed, and went out.
The air struck chill and comfortless as it breathed upon him. There was a heavy dew; and, hot as he was, it made him shiver. After a glance at the place where he had walked last night, and at the signal-lights burning in the morning, and bereft of their significance, he turned to where the sun was rising, and beheld it, in its glory, as it broke upon the scene.
So awful, so transcendent in its beauty, so divinely solemn. As he cast his faded eyes upon it, where it rose, tranquil and serene, unmoved by all the wrong and wickedness on which its beams had shone since the beginning of the world, who shall say that some weak sense of virtue upon Earth, and its in Heaven, did not manifest itself, even to him? If ever he remembered sister or brother with a touch of tenderness and remorse, who shall say it was not then?
He needed some such touch then. Death was on him. He was marked off - the living world, and going down into his grave.
He paid the money for his journey to the country-place he had thought of; and was walking to and fro, alone, looking along the lines of iron, across the valley in one direction, and towards a dark bridge near at hand in the other; when, turning in his walk, where it was bounded by one end of the wooden stage on which he paced up and down, he saw the man from whom he had fled, emerging from the door by which he himself had entered
And their eyes met.
In the quick unsteadiness of the surprise, he staggered, and slipped on to the road below him. But recovering his feet immediately, he stepped back a pace or two upon that road, to interpose some wider space between them, and looked at his pursuer, breathing short and quick.
He heard a shout - another - saw the face change from its vindictive passion to a faint sickness and terror - felt the earth tremble - knew in a moment that the rush was come - uttered a shriek - looked round - saw the red eyes, bleared and dim, in the daylight, close upon him - was beaten down, caught up, and whirled away upon a jagged mill, that spun him round and round, and struck him limb from limb, and licked his stream of life up with its fiery heat, and cast his mutilated fragments in the air.
When the traveller, who had been recognised, recovered from a swoon, he saw them bringing from a distance something covered, that lay heavy and still, upon a board, between four men, and saw that others drove some dogs away that sniffed upon the road, and soaked his blood up, with a train of ashes.
在院子临街的那边有一道铁的大门,看门人让旁边的小门开着,他已经走开,无疑是混在远处大楼梯门边发出嘈杂的人群当中了。卡克轻轻地提起门闩,悄悄地溜到外面,并把后面嘎吱作响的门关上,尽可能不让它发出大声,然后急急忙忙离开了。
他觉得自己遭到屈辱,心中怀着无益的愤怒;在这种狂热的情绪中,他心头的恐慌完全主宰了他。它已达到了这样的程度:他宁肯盲目地遇到任何危险,也不愿意碰上他在两小时以前毫不注意的那个人。他完全没有料想到他会突然气势汹汹地来到;他听到了他说话的;他们刚才几乎就面对面相遇,这些情况使卡克在第一分钟内惊慌得头昏眼花,但他不久就能硬着头皮,沉着冷静地把它们顶住,像任何无赖一样厚颜无耻地对待自己犯下的罪行。然而他埋设的地雷竟在自己身上炸开,这一点似乎已破坏和动摇了他全部的刚毅与自信。那位高傲的女人,他原以为他已慢慢地毒害了她的思想,直到她已沦落为他寻欢作乐的工具;可是她却把他像爬虫似地踢在一旁,让他陷入圈套,并嘲弄他,责骂他,把他踩得粉碎;他想要欺骗别人,别人没有上当,自己反倒受了骗;他的狐狸皮已经被剥掉了;如今他又羞愧,又受到屈辱,又害怕地偷偷溜走了。
当他正蹑手蹑脚地穿过街道的时候,与这被人追赶的恐怖绝不相同的另一种恐怖突然像一道电流一样袭击着他。这是某种莫名其妙的、无法解释的幻想的恐怖,它使人联想起土地的颤抖——某种东西像死神展开翅膀飞行一样,向前猛冲过去,飞快地吹刮过去。他蜷缩着身子,仿佛要给那个东西让开道路似的,但它并没有过去,因为它从来就不在那里,可是它却留下了多么令人吃惊的恐怖啊!
他抬起他的邪恶的、充满忧虑的脸,仰望着夜空;夜空中十分宁静的星星就像他起初偷偷地走到外面的时候一样,正照耀着他。他停下脚步,想一下他现在该做什么。他害怕在一个陌生的、遥远的地方被人追赶,这里的法律可能是不会保护他的;——他新奇地感觉到,这个城市是个陌生的、遥远的地方;这个感觉是在他的计划遭到失败之后,他突然间成了孤独一人的情况下产生的;——他现在更害怕到意大利或西西里去避难;他想,被雇用的凶手可能会在那里一个黑暗的街道拐角里暗杀他;——由于罪过与恐惧,使他产生出反复无常的思想;——也许是由于他所有的计划全都遭到失败,因此他就有某种不想按原先意图行事的相应的心理;——所有这些都驱策他回到英国去。
“无论如何,我在英国要安全一些。”他想,“如果我决意不跟这个疯子见面的话,那么在英国寻找到我要比在这他乡异国寻找到我难得多。如果我决定跟他见面(当他这阵可恶的疯狂症过去以后)的话,那么至少我将不会像现在这样孤独一人,没有一个人我可以与他交谈、商量或他来帮助我。我将不会像一只耗子一样地被追逐和折磨。”
他抱怨地说到伊迪丝的名字,同时紧握着拳头。当他在高大的房屋的阴影下偷偷地向前走去的时候,他咬牙切齿,向她发出了最可怕的诅咒,同时左顾右盼,仿佛在寻找她似的。他就这样悄悄地走到一个客栈院子的门前。客栈里的人都已睡觉了。但是他拉了一下铃,立刻就有一个人提着灯笼出来,他们很快就一起到了一个马车房前,租一辆旧的二马四轮轻便马车前往巴黎的事情商议着价钱。
价钱很快就商议定了,立刻派人去把马拉来。他吩咐马来了以后就让马车跟随着他来,然后又悄悄离开,走出城外,经过古老的堡垒,一直走到大路上;这条大路似乎像一条溪流一样,在黑暗的平原上流动。
它流到哪里去?哪里是它的尽头?他心里想着这些事情,停住脚步,望着阴暗的平野和由细长的树木显示出的道路;这时候死神又展开翅膀,迅疾地飞来,然后又猛烈地、不可抗拒地飞过去,除了在他的心中留下恐怖外,又没有留下什么别的。那恐怖就像周围的风景一样黑暗,并像它的最遥远的边缘一样朦胧不清。
没有风;在深沉的夜色中没有闪过一个阴影;没有喧闹的。城市静躺在他的后面,在这里那里闪烁着灯光;尖塔与屋顶矗立在天空中,几乎显露不出形状,并遮挡着星星的世界。在他四周是茫茫一片黑暗与荒凉的地方;钟轻轻地敲了两下。
他觉得他已走了好久,并走过了长长的一段路程,他在中间时常停下来听一听。终于马的铃铛声传到了他的焦急的耳朵中。铃铛的有时轻一些,有时响一些,有时听不见,有时在经过坏的道路时断断续续,有时则活泼、轻快;最后,愈来愈近,一位身影模糊、围巾一直围到眼睛下面、骑在左马上的马夫响亮地吆喝了一声和劈啪地抽了一下鞭子,把四匹奋力前进的马拉住,停在他的身边。
“那里走的是谁,是Monsieur吗?”
“是的。”
“Monsieur在这黑咕隆咚的深更半夜已走了好长的一段路啦。”
“不要紧。每个人都有自己的爱好。有没有别人在驿馆要马的?”
“一千个魔鬼在捣乱!请原谅!有没有别人要马?在这种时候?没有。”
“听着,我的朋友。我十分着急。让我们看看我们能往前赶得多快!赶得愈快,您得到的酒钱就会愈多。出发吧!快!”
“嗨!嗬!嗨!嘿!”马飞快奔驰起来,越过了黑暗的原野,把尘土踢得像浪花似地四处飞扬!
马蹄的得得声和马车的摇晃反映出逃亡者慌忙与混乱的思想。他身外的一切是模糊不清的,他心中的一切也是模糊不清的。物体在迅速飞过,彼此融合,模糊难辨,在纷杂混乱中不见了,消失了!在路旁不断变化着的零零落落的篱笆与村舍外面,是一片昏暗的荒地。在他心中出现而又立即消逝的变动的形象外面,是一个广袤无边的世界,充满了恐惧、愤怒和未能得逞的奸诈。偶尔,从遥远的侏罗山脉①山风的呼啸声,在平原上逐渐消失。有时他在想象中觉得那猛烈的、可怕的恐怖又猛袭过来,吹刮过去,使他的血都变冷了。
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①侏罗山脉(Jura):一译汝拉山脉,是法国与西班牙之间的山脉。
车灯发射出微光,照射在晃动着的马头上,它与身影模糊的车夫以及他的飘动的上衣混杂交错,形成了上千种模糊不清的形状,这与他的思想状态倒是十分相似的。那些熟悉的人们的身影,以他所记得的姿态,弯着身子,坐在办公桌和帐册前面;他从他那里逃出来的那个人或伊迪丝呈现出奇怪的幻影;在铃铛声与车轮声中,那些过去说过的话现在正在不断重复说着;时间与地点的概念混乱了:昨夜好像是一个月以前,一个月以前又好像是昨夜;家乡一会儿远在天边,一会儿又近在眼前;动荡,纷争,慌忙,黑暗,他心中和他的周围全都是一片混乱。——嗨!嘿!在黑暗的原野上飞快地奔跑过去;尘土像浪花般飞扬,浑身冒着热气的马喷着鼻息,向前猛冲,仿佛每匹马背上都骑着一个魔鬼似的,在发狂似的胜利中在黑暗的道路上飞奔过去——奔向哪里去呢?
那不可名状的惊恐又加速袭来;当它过去的时候,铃铛在他耳朵里响着:“到哪里去?”飞轮在他耳朵里轰鸣着:“到哪里去?”所有的喧闹与声响都在重复着这同一个喊声。灯光和影子像顽童似地在马头上跳舞。现在决不能停下来;现在决不能放慢速度!向前,向前!在黑暗的道路上拉着他疯狂地向前奔跑!
他不能按照任何一个特定的目的来思考。他不能把一个思考的问题与另一个思考的问题分开,要想每次对一个问题细想一分钟也不可能。他本想得到肉欲的满足来补偿自我抑制方面的损失,这一打算已经破灭了;有一个人曾经真诚地、宽洪大量地对待他,但是他的高傲的言语与神色他好多年来一直铭记在心(因为虚伪与狡猾的人经常在暗地里轻视与厌恶他们所奉承的对象,经常憎恨他们所表示的尊敬,他们知道那是毫无价值的),他对这个人的叛逆已经失败了;——这些是首先浮现在他心中的问题。对那位使他陷入圈套、为自己报仇雪恨的女人的愤怒一直暗暗埋藏在他的心头;对她进行报复的各种粗略的、荒诞的计划浮现在他的脑中;可是所有这一切都是模糊不清的。他所有这些思想全都是急急匆匆,相互矛盾的。甚至当他这样狂热地、无益地思考着的时候,他一直怀着一个念头,就是他最好暂时什么也不想,而把这些推迟到将来一个什么不确定的时候再去考虑。
然后,在董贝先生第二次结婚之前那些往昔的日子又在他的记忆中出现。他记起他曾经妒嫉那个男孩子;他又曾经多么妒嫉那个女孩子;他曾经多么狡猾地在被他愚弄的人的周围划了一个圈子,把所有想闯进来的人阻挡在远处;除了他本人之外,谁也不能越过它。然后他想到,他所做的这一切难道只都是为了现在像一个被追捕的贼一样,从那位可怜的、被他愚弄的人那里逃走吗?
他本可以自杀来惩罚自己的懦怯,可是这种懦怯正好就是他失败的真正的阴影,与它是不能分开的。他相信他的诈骗计划已被完全粉碎;他知道他已成了另一个人手中可怜的工具;想到这些他就好像瘫痪似地浑身无力。怀着无能为力的狂暴劲头,他对伊迪丝发怒,他恨董贝先生,也恨他自己;
可是他还是逃跑了,不能做其他事情。
他一次又一次地听着后面的车轮声。他一次又一次地在想象中仿佛感觉到,这车轮声愈来愈响了。他终于对这点深信不疑,就喊道,“停下!”他宁肯停下耽误时间,对自己不利,也不愿意处在这种狐疑不定的状态中。
这喊声立刻使马车、马和马车夫在路中间停了下来。
“见鬼!”马车夫回过头,喊道,“怎么回事?”
“听,那是什么?”
“什么?”
“那?”
“啊,老天爷,安静点,你这可恶的土匪!”他对一匹摇着铃铛的马说道,“什么?”
“后面。是不是另外一辆马车正飞奔过来?那里!那是什么,听到了吗?”
“你这长得跟猪头一样的恶棍!安安静静站着!”他对另一匹马说道;这一匹马咬了另一匹马,那一匹马又惊吓了另外两匹;它们向前猛冲过去,然后又倒退回来。
“没有什么往这边来。”
“没有什么吗?”
“没有什么,只是天快亮了。”
“我想您说得不错。真的,我现在什么也没听到了。继续赶路吧!”
在马身上散发出的烟雾腾腾的热气之中半隐半现的马车开始慢吞吞地前进;马车夫因为在前进道路中被不必要地阻留了好些时间,不高兴地从衣袋中取出一把小刀,在鞭子上装上一条新的皮条。然后“嗨!嗬!嗨!嘿!”,又一次狂野地飞跑起来。
这时星星暗淡,晨光熹微,他站在马车中,回头看,可以分辨出他所走过的道路,并注意到在辽阔的原野上看不见一个赶路的人。不久天大亮了,太阳照亮了麦田和葡萄园。从路旁石头堆边临时性工棚里出来的一个个工人正在这里那里修着公路或吃着面包。不久农民们出来干活或赶市集,或懒洋洋地靠在破旧的茅舍门边,悠闲地注视着他从旁经过。然后他看到一个驿站,前面是深及踝骨的泥浆,四周是冒着热气的粪堆和很大的半毁坏的房屋;面对着这个优雅的景色的是一座巨大的、古老的石头城堡,它没有树木遮荫,发出耀眼的光,有一半窗子已遮上窗帘,绿色的霉懒散地在城堡上面蔓延,从围了栏杆的阳台一直扩展到塔楼上灭火器的锥形尖端。
他郁郁不乐地蜷缩在马车的一个角落里,一心只盼望着车子快快地跑;只有当周围是一片空旷的田野的时候,他才会站起来,站上整整一英里的路程,并往后看;——他就这样往前赶着路,依旧把那些思想暂时搁置起来,往后推到将来一个不确定的时候,同时依旧常常被那些没有目的的思想苦恼着。
羞耻、失望与失败折磨着他的心。他不断担心被追赶上或被碰见(因为他毫无根据地甚至连对面路上朝他走过来的行人都害怕),因此心情十分沉重。夜间,他感到难以忍受的畏惧和忧愁,到了白天它们又毫不减弱地重新返回。单调的铃铛声和马蹄声,他那毫无变化的焦急和无益的愤怒,周而复始的害怕、懊悔与痛苦,这一切他觉得这次旅行像是个梦幻,在这梦幻中,除了他自己的痛苦外,没有什么是真实的。
这是一个梦幻,在这梦幻中有一条漫长的道路,它伸向一直不断向后退、永远也不能到达的地平线;在这梦幻中有路面铺砌得很坏的城镇,在丘陵上面和下面都有;人们从黑暗的门户与没有擦亮的窗子中露出脸来;身上溅满污泥的母牛和公牛一行行地系在那里等待出卖;它们相互用头角顶撞着,哞哞地叫着;有时它们迟钝的头遭到大头棒的敲打,那是可以把头打破的;在这梦幻中,有桥梁、十字架、教堂、驿站;新的马正很不愿意地开始从事艰苦的劳役;最后一个驿站的马身上冒着热气,嘴里喘着气,正低垂着头,忧郁地站在马厩门边;在这梦幻中,有小小的墓地,坟墓上的黑十字架东倒西歪,坟上枯萎的花圈愈来愈少了;然后在这梦幻中又是漫长的、漫长的道路,伸延到山上和山下,一直伸向变化莫测的地平线。
在这梦幻中有早晨、中午和日落;有夜晚和新月的升起。在这梦幻中,漫长的道路暂时被抛在后面,马车走上了一条凹凸不平的铺石的道路,马蹄敲打着它的路面,马从上面跑过去;他抬头仰望,看到一座巍峨的教堂钟楼耸立在一些房屋的屋顶之上;他从马车中出来,匆匆忙忙吃点东西,喝几口酒,它却不能使他快活起来;他从一群乞丐中间徒步走过去——眼皮颤动的瞎子由老太婆领着走,她们举着蜡烛照着他们的脸;他看到白痴的女孩子、跛子、癫痫病人、瘫痪病人——;在这梦幻中,他从嘈杂吵闹的中间经过,并从座位上望出去;他看到仰望着他的脸孔和伸过来的胳膊,突然害怕认出一个追赶他的什么人从他们当中挤出来;然后在这梦幻中,又是在漫长的道路上飞快地奔驰;他迟钝、麻木地在马车角落里蜷缩着身体,或者站起身来,看一看月光正微弱地照耀着那条同样无穷无尽、伸向许多许多英里以外的道路中的一段,或者往后看看,有谁跟随而来。
在这梦幻中,他从来没有睡去,而只是有时眼睛没有合上,打个盹儿,然后突然间惊跳起来,大声地回答着一个想象中的声音。在这梦幻中,他咒骂自己到这里来,咒骂自己逃走,咒骂自己让她走掉了,咒骂自己没有跟他见面,向他挑战。在这梦幻中,他不共戴天地埋怨整个世界,但主要是埋怨他自己。在这梦幻中,当他被马车向前拉去的时候,他灰心丧气的情绪使周围的一切事物都显得黯然失色。
这是个狂热的梦幻,过去的事物与当前的事物乱七八糟地混合在一起,他往日的生活与现在的逃亡搀合为一体。在这个梦幻中,他正疯狂地急忙赶往他应该前去的一个什么地方。在这个梦幻中,旧时的情景突然跳进一路上穿行过的新鲜风光中。在这个梦幻中,当他沉思默想着过去和遥远的事情的时候,他似乎没有注意到他见到的现实的景物,而是厌倦不堪地感觉到,它们把他弄得糊里糊涂;在它们消失之后,它们的形象仍拥挤在他发热的头脑中。
这是个梦幻,在这个梦幻中,发生着一个接一个的变化,但却仍然是那单调的铃铛声,车轮声和马蹄声;他得不到休息。城镇和乡村,马,马车夫,丘陵和河谷,光明和黑暗,大路和铺石路,高地和山谷,雨天和晴天,但却仍然是那单调的铃铛声,车轮声,马蹄声,他得不到休息。这是个梦幻,在这个梦幻中,马车终于沿着行人较多的道路,往遥远的首都跑去;它从古老的大教堂旁边飞跑过去;从道路上的小城镇和村子中间急穿过去,现在这些小城镇不像先前那么稀疏;当路过的行人看着他的时候,他隐蔽地坐在角落里,斗篷盖到脸上。
在这个梦幻中,马车继续向前奔跑,他总是把一些思想暂时搁置起来,往后推到将来去考虑,并总是因为不断地思索而苦恼;他不能计算他在路上跑了多少个钟头,或了解旅程中的时间与地点。在这个梦幻中,他口干舌燥,眼花缭乱,近乎疯狂,可是不管怎样,他却还是依旧奋力向前行进,仿佛他不能停下来似的,然后他进入了巴黎;在那里,在生命与运动这两股哗哗的激流中间,混浊的河流泰然自若地转动着它的湍急的水流。
然后,是一个混乱的梦幻,在这个梦幻中,有桥梁、码头、没有尽头的街道;有酒店、运水的工人、熙熙攘攘的人群、士兵、轿式马车、军鼓、拱廊。在这个梦幻中,单调的铃铛声、车轮声和马蹄声最终消失在四周一片喧嚣声与鼎沸的人声之中了。他经过一个关口的时候,换乘了一辆马车,在这之后,这种闹音渐渐地平静下来。当他前往海岸的时候,单调的铃铛声、车轮声和马蹄声又恢复了,他得不到休息。
然后在这个梦幻中,又是日落和黄昏。在这个梦幻中,又是漫长的道路,沉寂的深夜,路旁窗户中微弱的灯光;然后依旧是单调的铃铛声、车轮声和马蹄声,他得不到休息。在这个梦幻中,有拂晓、黎明、日出。在这个梦幻中,马车费劲地慢慢地上了一个山冈,在山冈顶上他感觉到新鲜的海风微微吹拂;他看见晨光在远方海浪的边际闪闪反射着。下了山冈,是一个海港,正好是涨潮的时候,可以看见渔船顺潮返航,快活的女人和孩子正在等待着它们。渔网和渔人们的衣服摊晒在海岸上;船员们忙忙碌碌,在桅杆和索具当中高高的地方也能听到他们的。活泼、明亮的海水,到处在闪闪发光。
在这个梦幻中,船离开了海岸,从甲板上往回看,水面上烟雾朦胧。阳光穿过的地方,这里那里露出了一点明亮的陆地。在这个梦幻中,平静的海涨起了波浪,闪耀着水花,发出了喃喃的低语。在船舶经过的航线上,海洋上出现了另一条灰色的线条,迅速地变得更明亮和更高。在这个梦幻中,他看到了一座座悬崖、一间间房屋、一个风车、一座教堂,愈来愈分明。船终于进入了一个平静的水面,停泊在一个码头旁边;码头上一群群的人在往下看,并向船上的朋友们问候致意。他上了岸,迅速地从他们中间穿过,躲开每一个人,终于又到了英国了。
他在梦幻中曾经想到一个他所知道的遥远的乡村中去,在那里隐居下来,然后悄悄地打听流传的消息,再决定怎样行动。仍然是在同样头晕目眩的状态中,他曾记起一个火车站,他必须从那里沿一条铁路支线前往他的目的地;在火车站附近还有一个僻静的小旅馆,他不十分明确地打算到那里去停留和休息。
他怀着这个目的,尽快地偷偷溜进了一个火车车厢,用斗篷裹着在那里躺下,仿佛睡着了似的。火车很快就把他拉到离海远远的绿色的内地了。到达目的地之后,他从车厢窗子里往外看,仔细地观察着车站外面。他对这个地方的印象没有错。这是在一个小树林边上的一个隐蔽的地方。那里只有一间房屋,是特地为车站新建或改建起来的,房屋四周有一个整洁的花园;离这里最近的小城镇是在几英里之外。于是他在这里下了车,没有被任何人注意到,就直接到了那个小旅馆里,在那里要了楼上两个位置相当隐蔽、并且是相通的房间。
他的目的是休息,恢复自制力和稳定情绪。遭受失败之后茫然失措的情绪和愤怒的情绪完全支配着他,因此,他在房间里走来走去的时候,咬牙切齿。他不能制止或指引他的思想,他的思想依旧随意转来转去,并拖着他跑。他精神恍惚,疲乏得要死。
可是,仿佛他遭到了不幸,永远也不能再休息了,他感到昏昏欲睡,但并没有失去知觉。他对他的感觉丝毫没有办法,仿佛它们是属于另一个人似的。它们不仅强迫他注意现在的与事物,而且还不让他从旅途中所有匆匆忙忙的梦幻中解脱出来。这些梦幻不断地涌集在他的面前。她站在那里,用她乌黑的、轻蔑的眼光注视着他;他仍然坐在马车里,通过城镇与乡村,通过亮光与黑暗,通过雨天与晴天,通过道路与铺石路,通过丘陵与河谷,往前行进,单调的铃铛声、车轮声和马蹄声使他疲倦、恐慌,得不到休息。
“今天是星期几?”他问正在准备给他开晚饭的侍者。
“您是问星期几吗,先生?”
“是星期三吗?”
“星期三,先生?不,先生,星期四了,先生。”
“我忘了。现在什么时间?我的表没有上弦。”
“差几分就五点了,先生。您也许旅行了好久了吧,先生?”
“是的。”
“乘火车来的吗,先生?”
“是的。”
“很疲劳的,先生。我自己乘火车不多,先生,但是到这里的先生们常常这么说。”
“有很多先生到这里来吗?”
“总的来说是相当多的。可是现在没有人来。现在生意清淡,先生。现在不论什么行业都生意清淡。”
他没有回答;而只是从他原先躺着的沙发上欠起身来坐着,每只胳膊都支靠在一只脚的膝盖上,并凝视着地面。他不能把注意力继续集中一分钟。它随意地转来转去,但片刻也不能消失在睡眠中。
他吃完晚饭以后,喝了好多酒,但也无济于事。这种人为的方法不能使他合眼睡去。他的思想比先前更不连贯,更无情地把他拖来拖去,仿佛一位苦命的人被判定要这样来赎罪,被发狂的马拖着跑一样。没有忘却,没有休息。
他坐在那里,喝着,沉思着,被胡思乱想拖来拖去,究竟有多久,谁也不能比他回答得更不准确。但是当他突然跳了起来,并细听着的时候,他知道他已经在烛光旁边坐了好久。
因为现在,这确实不是幻想。地面震动了,房屋发出了格格的响声,那猛烈的、迅疾的、像死神一样的飞行就在空中!他觉得它临近了,又疾驰而过;甚至当他急忙跑到窗前,并看见那是什么的时候,他又往回退缩,站着不动,仿佛去看是不安全似的。
真该咒骂一声,这火一般的魔鬼!它发出了轰隆轰隆的响声,十分平稳地向前驶去,穿过了遥远的河谷,留下了耀眼的亮光与火红的烟尘,然后消失不见了!他觉得仿佛他已被拉出它行进的道路,幸免被它撕得粉碎似的。甚至现在,当最轻微的声响都已完全沉寂,他在月光中所能望见的整条铁路线已像沙漠一般安静无人的时候,这种感觉还使得他畏缩和打颤。
他不能休息,并不可抗拒地被吸引到这条路上(也许是他觉得这样),于是就走出屋子,在这条路的旁边漫步,同时根据落在轨道上、仍然在冒烟的煤屑来察看火车跑过的道路。他沿着火车消失不见的方向漫步了半个钟头光景之后,转过身来,朝着相反的方向走——依旧紧挨着铁路的旁边——,经过小旅馆的花园,又继续走了长长的一段路;他一边走一边好奇地看着桥梁、信号灯、路灯,心里想,什么时候另一个魔鬼会从这里跑过去呢?
地面在震动;他的耳朵中感觉到迅速的颤动;远方传来了尖锐的响声;暗淡的灯光正在向前移来,很快转变为两只红红的眼睛;强烈的火焰掉落着灼热的煤屑;不可阻挡的巨大的吼叫声愈来愈响;一阵劲风吹刮过来了,一阵轰隆轰隆的响声传过来了——另一列火车来了,又走了;他抓住门,仿佛要救住自己似的!
他等待着另一列火车,然后又等待着另一列火车。他沿着铁路又走回到原先的地点。然后走回来以后又回到那里,并且通过他这次路途中令人疲倦的梦幻,依旧在等待着这些前来的怪物。他在车站上闲逛,等待着有一列火车会在这里停下来;有一列火车果真在这里停下来了,机车和后面的车厢脱钩以后开去上水,这时候他面对着它站在那里,注视着它的笨重的轮子和铜制的头部,心想它具有多么残酷的能量与威力哪!看看这些巨大的轮子慢慢地转动,想想你被它们压到身上,压得粉碎的情景吧!
由于喝了酒以后引起的身心失调和缺乏休息——虽然他疲乏不堪,但却无法满足这种需要——,这些念头和这些事物在他的思想中病态地占据了很大的分量。当他回到自己房间里的时候——这已将近午夜了——,它们依旧反复出现在他的心头,他就坐在那里听着是不是又有一列火车开来。
当他在床上躺下,没有希望入睡的时候,也还是这种情况。他仍旧躺着听;当他感觉到摇晃和震动的时候,他从床上起来,走到窗口,观看(他从那里是看得到的)那暗淡的灯光转变成两只红红的眼睛,强烈的火焰掉落着灼热的煤屑;巨大的怪物飞快地奔驰过去,长长的一道烟雾弥漫在山谷上空。因为他在这里得不到休息,他打算在日出以后离开这里,于是他就朝着他前去的方向观望;然后他又重新躺下来,让他在旅途中的梦幻,让那些单调的铃铛声、车轮声和马蹄声来困扰他,直到另一列火车开来为止。这种情况持续了整整一夜。他不但不能恢复自制力,相反的,随着夜间时光的流逝,他愈来愈失去了它(如果还可能失去的话)。当黎明来临时,他仍然被各种胡思乱想所折磨,仍然把他的思想暂时搁置起来,直到他的情况好转以后再说;过去、现在和将来,全都混乱地浮现在他眼前,他完全失去了沉着对待它们当中任何一个的能力。
“您刚才说,我要搭乘的火车什么时候从这里开出?”他问昨夜侍候他的那个人,他这时候拿了一支蜡烛走进房间。
“四点一刻光景,先生。快车四点经过这里,先生。——
它在这里不停。”
他把手举到血管在跳动着的头前,看一看表。将近三点半。
“也许没有人跟您一道走吧,先生,”那位侍者说道,“这里有两位先生,先生,但是他们是在等去伦敦的火车。”
“我记得您好像说过,这里没有别的人,”卡克转向他,说道;脸上露出过去他在发怒或怀疑的时候经常露出的那种鬼怪般的笑容。
“我昨天跟您说的时候,这里是没有别的人,先生。这两位先生是在夜里搭乘慢车来的,这里是它的一个停车站,先生。要温水吗,先生?”
“不要。把蜡烛拿走。我觉得天已够亮了。”
他原先穿了一部分衣服倒在床上,那人刚一走开,他就走到窗口。夜色消逝,寒冷的晨光接着来临,天空中早已弥漫着即将升起的太阳的红光。他用冷水洗了洗头和脸——这并不能使他冷静下来——,匆匆忙忙穿上衣服,付了帐,然后走出旅馆。
向他吹来的空气冷飕飕的,使人感到很不舒服。露水很重。他虽然身上热乎乎的,但还是禁不住打哆嗦。他朝昨夜走过的地方和在早晨发出微光、已经失去重要性的信号灯看了一眼之后,转向太阳正在升起的地方。他看到了它露出地平线时那光辉壮丽的景象。它那美丽是多么威风凛凛,多么卓越非凡,它是多么神圣、庄严啊!他那淡弱无光的眼睛看着它平静地、安详地升起,对从世界创始以来在它的光线照耀下所曾发生过的所有的罪行与邪恶都无动于衷,这时候,谁能说甚至在他心中就没有激发出在世上行善积德,在天堂中得到报答的淡薄观念呢?如果他曾在什么时候怀着亲切和悔恨的心情回忆起他的姐姐或哥哥的话,那么谁能说那不就在现在呢?
他现在需要这样的心情。死神已迫近他。他已经从活着的世界中除名,正在走近坟墓。
他已支付了通往他打算前往的乡村的车费;现在正独自在走来走去,同时沿着铁路线看过去;从这一边看过去是河谷,从另一边看过去是近处的一座黑暗的桥梁;他走到来回踱步的木制站台的一边的尽头,正转回身子来的时候,突然看见了他从他那里逃出来的那个人,正从他本人曾经进去过的门中走出来。他们的眼光相遇了。
在突然的惊慌失措中,他步子不稳,身子摇摇晃晃,滑倒在下面的铁路上。但他立刻站了起来,在铁路上往后退了一、两步,使他们两人之间的距离扩大一些,同时呼吸短促地望着追赶他的人。
他听到一声呼喊,——又听到一声呼喊,——看到那张原先充满复仇的愤怒的脸孔,现在转变为有些病态与恐怖的表情,——他感到地面在震动,——在一刹那间明白了:火车正疾驰而来——他发出一声尖锐的喊叫——环顾四周——
看到那两只在白天显得模糊与暗淡的红眼睛就在他的面前——他被撞倒,钩住,卷到一个凹凸不平的磨上,这磨一圈一圈碾着他,把他的四肢撕断,用火一般的高热舐吃着他的生命,并把他支离破碎的肢体在天空中抛掷着。
当那位被他认出的旅客晕倒并苏醒过来的时候,他看到四个人从远处用一块板抬来一个什么东西,沉重与安静地躺在板上,上面被覆盖着;他还看到另外一些人把在铁路上嗅来嗅去的几条狗赶开,并撒了好些灰烬,把他的血给覆盖上。
慕若涵

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爱就像蓝天白云,晴空万里,突然暴风雨!
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Chapter 56
Several People delighted, and the Game Chicken disgusted
The Midshipman was all alive. Mr Toots and Susan had arrived at last. Susan had run upstairs like a young woman bereft of her senses, and Mr Toots and the Chicken had gone into the Parlour.
'Oh my own pretty darling sweet Miss Floy!' cried the Nipper, running into Florence's room, 'to think that it should come to this and I should find you here my own dear dove with nobody to wait upon you and no home to call your own but never never will I go away again Miss Floy for though I may not gather moss I'm not a rolling stone nor is my heart a stone or else it wouldn't bust as it is busting now oh dear oh dear!'
Pouring out these words, without the faintest indication of a stop, of any sort, Miss Nipper, on her knees beside her mistress, hugged her close.
'Oh love!' cried Susan, 'I know all that's past I know it all my tender pet and I'm a choking give me air!'
'Susan, dear good Susan!' said Florence. 'Oh bless her! I that was her little maid when she was a little child! and is she really, really truly going to be married?'exclaimed Susan, in a burst of pain and pleasure, pride and grief, and Heaven knows how many other conflicting feelings.
'Who told you so?' said Florence.
'Oh gracious me! that innocentest creetur Toots,' returned Susan hysterically. 'I knew he must be right my dear, because he took on so. He's the devotedest and innocentest infant! And is my darling,' pursued Susan, with another close embrace and burst of tears, 'really really going to be married!'
The mixture of compassion, pleasure, tenderness, protection, and regret with which the Nipper constantly recurred to this subject, and at every such once, raised her head to look in the young face and kiss it, and then laid her head again upon her mistress's shoulder, caressing her and sobbing, was as womanly and good a thing, in its way, as ever was seen in the world.
'There, there!' said the soothing voice of Florence presently. 'Now you're quite yourself, dear Susan!'
Miss Nipper, sitting down upon the floor, at her mistress's feet, laughing and sobbing, holding her pocket-handkerchief to her eyes with one hand, and patting Diogenes with the other as he licked her face, confessed to being more composed, and laughed and cried a little more in proof of it.
'I-I-I never did see such a creetur as that Toots,' said Susan, 'in all my born days never!'
'So kind,' suggested Florence.
'And so comic!' Susan sobbed. 'The way he's been going on inside with me with that disrespectable Chicken on the box!'
'About what, Susan?' inquired Florence, timidly.
'Oh about Lieutenant Walters, and Captain Gills, and you my dear Miss Floy, and the silent tomb,' said Susan.
'The silent tomb!' repeated Florence.
'He says,' here Susan burst into a violent hysterical laugh, 'that he'll go down into it now immediately and quite comfortable, but bless your heart my dear Miss Floy he won't, he's a great deal too happy in seeing other people happy for that, he may not be a Solomon,' pursued the Nipper, with her usual volubility, 'nor do I say he is but this I do say a less selfish human creature human nature never knew!' Miss Nipper being still hysterical, laughed immoderately after making this energetic declaration, and then informed Florence that he was waiting below to see her; which would be a rich repayment for the trouble he had had in his late expedition.
Florence entreated Susan to beg of Mr Toots as a favour that she might have the pleasure of thanking him for his kindness; and Susan, in a few moments, produced that young gentleman, still very much dishevelled in appearance, and stammering exceedingly.
'Miss Dombey,' said Mr Toots. 'To be again permitted to - to - gaze - at least, not to gaze, but - I don't exactly know what I was going to say, but it's of no consequence.
'I have to thank you so often,' returned Florence, giving him both her hands, with all her innocent gratitude beaming in her face, 'that I have no words left, and don't know how to do it.'
'Miss Dombey,' said Mr Toots, in an awful voice, 'if it was possible that you could, consistently with your angelic nature, Curse me, you would - if I may be allowed to say so - floor me infinitely less, than by these undeserved expressions of kindness Their effect upon me - is - but,' said Mr Toots, abruptly, 'this is a digression, and of no consequence at all.'
As there seemed to be no means of replying to this, but by thanking him again, Florence thanked him again.
'I could wish,' said Mr Toots, 'to take this opportunity, Miss Dombey, if I might, of entering into a word of explanation. I should have had the pleasure of - of returning with Susan at an earlier period; but, in the first place, we didn't know the name of the relation to whose house she had gone, and, in the second, as she had left that relation's and gone to another at a distance, I think that scarcely anything short of the sagacity of the Chicken, would have found her out in the time.'
Florence was sure of it.
'This, however,' said Mr Toots, 'is not the point. The company of Susan has been, I assure you, Miss Dombey, a consolation and satisfaction to me, in my state of mind, more easily conceived than described. The journey has been its own reward. That, however, still, is not the point. Miss Dombey, I have before observed that I know I am not what is considered a quick person. I am perfectly aware of that. I don't think anybody could be better acquainted with his own - if it was not too strong an expression, I should say with the thickness of his own head - than myself. But, Miss Dombey, I do, notwithstanding, perceive the state of - of things - with Lieutenant Walters. Whatever agony that state of things may have caused me (which is of no consequence at all), I am bound to say, that Lieutenant Walters is a person who appears to be worthy of the blessing that has fallen on his - on his brow. May he wear it long, and appreciate it, as a very different, and very unworthy individual, that it is of no consequence to name, would have done! That, however, still, is not the point. Miss Dombey, Captain Gills is a friend of mine; and during the interval that is now elapsing, I believe it would afford Captain Gills pleasure to see me occasionally coming backwards and forwards here. It would afford me pleasure so to come. But I cannot forget that I once committed myself, fatally, at the corner of the Square at Brighton; and if my presence will be, in the least degree, unpleasant to you, I only ask you to name it to me now, and assure you that I shall perfectly understand you. I shall not consider it at all unkind, and shall only be too delighted and happy to be honoured with your confidence.'
'Mr Toots,' returned Florence, 'if you, who are so old and true a friend of mine, were to stay away from this house now, you would make me very unhappy. It can never, never, give me any feeling but pleasure to see you.
'Miss Dombey,' said Mr Toots, taking out his pocket-handkerchief, 'if I shed a tear, it is a tear of joy. It is of no consequence, and I am very much obliged to you. I may be allowed to remark, after what you have so kindly said, that it is not my intention to neglect my person any longer.'
Florence received this intimation with the prettiest expression of perplexity possible.
'I mean,' said Mr Toots, 'that I shall consider it my duty as a fellow-creature generally, until I am claimed by the silent tomb, to make the best of myself, and to - to have my boots as brightly polished, as - as -circumstances will admit of. This is the last time, Miss Dombey, of my intruding any observation of a private and personal nature. I thank you very much indeed. if I am not, in a general way, as sensible as my friends could wish me to be, or as I could wish myself, I really am, upon my word and honour, particularly sensible of what is considerate and kind. I feel,' said Mr Toots, in an impassioned tone, 'as if I could express my feelings, at the present moment, in a most remarkable manner, if - if - I could only get a start.'
Appearing not to get it, after waiting a minute or two to see if it would come, Mr Toots took a hasty leave, and went below to seek the Captain, whom he found in the shop.
'Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, 'what is now to take place between us, takes place under the sacred seal of confidence. It is the sequel, Captain Gills, of what has taken place between myself and Miss Dombey, upstairs.'
'Alow and aloft, eh, my lad?' murmured the Captain.
'Exactly so, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, whose fervour of acquiescence was greatly heightened by his entire ignorance of the Captain's meaning. 'Miss Dombey, I believe, Captain Gills, is to be shortly united to Lieutenant Walters?'
'Why, ay, my lad. We're all shipmets here, - Wal'r and sweet- heart will be jined together in the house of bondage, as soon as the askings is over,' whispered Captain Cuttle, in his ear.
'The askings, Captain Gills!' repeated Mr Toots.
'In the church, down yonder,' said the Captain, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.
'Oh! Yes!' returned Mr Toots.
'And then,' said the Captain, in his hoarse whisper, and tapping Mr Toots on the chest with the back of his hand, and falling from him with a look of infinite admiration, 'what follers? That there pretty creetur, as delicately brought up as a foreign bird, goes away upon the roaring main with Wal'r on a woyage to China!'
'Lord, Captain Gills!' said Mr Toots.
'Ay!' nodded the Captain. 'The ship as took him up, when he was wrecked in the hurricane that had drove her clean out of her course, was a China trader, and Wal'r made the woyage, and got into favour, aboard and ashore - being as smart and good a lad as ever stepped - and so, the supercargo dying at Canton, he got made (having acted as clerk afore), and now he's supercargo aboard another ship, same owners. And so, you see,' repeated the Captain, thoughtfully, 'the pretty creetur goes away upon the roaring main with Wal'r, on a woyage to China.'
Mr Toots and Captain Cuttle heaved a sigh in concert. 'What then?' said the Captain. 'She loves him true. He loves her true. Them as should have loved and tended of her, treated of her like the beasts as perish. When she, cast out of home, come here to me, and dropped upon them planks, her wownded heart was broke. I know it. I, Ed'ard Cuttle, see it. There's nowt but true, kind, steady love, as can ever piece it up again. If so be I didn't know that, and didn't know as Wal'r was her true love, brother, and she his, I'd have these here blue arms and legs chopped off, afore I'd let her go. But I know it, and what then! Why, then, I say, Heaven go with 'em both, and so it will! Amen!'
'Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, 'let me have the pleasure of shaking hands You've a way of saying things, that gives me an agreeable warmth, all up my back. I say Amen. You are aware, Captain Gills, that I, too, have adored Miss Dombey.'
'Cheer up!' said the Captain, laying his hand on Mr Toots's shoulder. 'Stand by, boy!'
'It is my intention, Captain Gills,' returned the spirited Mr Toots, 'to cheer up. Also to standby, as much as possible. When the silent tomb shall yawn, Captain Gills, I shall be ready for burial; not before. But not being certain, just at present, of my power over myself, what I wish to say to you, and what I shall take it as a particular favour if you will mention to Lieutenant Walters, is as follows.'
'Is as follers,' echoed the Captain. 'Steady!'
'Miss Dombey being so inexpressably kind,' continued Mr Toots with watery eyes, 'as to say that my presence is the reverse of disagreeable to her, and you and everybody here being no less forbearing and tolerant towards one who - who certainly,' said Mr Toots, with momentary dejection, 'would appear to have been born by mistake, I shall come backwards and forwards of an evening, during the short time we can all be together. But what I ask is this. If, at any moment, I find that I cannot endure the contemplation of Lieutenant Walters's bliss, and should rush out, I hope, Captain Gills, that you and he will both consider it as my misfortune and not my fault, or the want of inward conflict. That you'll feel convinced I bear no malice to any living creature-least of all to Lieutenant Walters himself - and that you'll casually remark that I have gone out for a walk, or probably to see what o'clock it is by the Royal Exchange. Captain Gills, if you could enter into this arrangement, and could answer for Lieutenant Walters, it would be a relief to my feelings that I should think cheap at the sacrifice of a considerable portion of my property.'
'My lad,' returned the Captain, 'say no more. There ain't a colour you can run up, as won't be made out, and answered to, by Wal'r and self.'
'Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots, 'my mind is greatly relieved. I wish to preserve the good opinion of all here. I - I - mean well, upon my honour, however badly I may show it. You know,' said Mr Toots, 'it's as exactly as Burgess and Co. wished to oblige a customer with a most extraordinary pair of trousers, and could not cut out what they had in their minds.'
With this apposite illustration, of which he seemed a little Proud, Mr Toots gave Captain Cuttle his blessing and departed.
The honest Captain, with his Heart's Delight in the house, and Susan tending her, was a beaming and a happy man. As the days flew by, he grew more beaming and more happy, every day. After some conferences with Susan (for whose wisdom the Captain had a profound respect, and whose valiant precipitation of herself on Mrs MacStinger he could never forget), he proposed to Florence that the daughter of the elderly lady who usually sat under the blue umbrella in Leadenhall Market, should, for prudential reasons and considerations of privacy, be superseded in the temporary discharge of the household duties, by someone who was not unknown to them, and in whom they could safely confide. Susan, being present, then named, in furtherance of a suggestion she had previously offered to the Captain, Mrs Richards. Florence brightened at the name. And Susan, setting off that very afternoon to the Toodle domicile, to sound Mrs Richards, returned in triumph the same evening, accompanied by the identical rosy-cheeked apple-faced Polly, whose demonstrations, when brought into Florence's presence, were hardly less affectionate than those of Susan Nipper herself.
This piece of generalship accomplished; from which the Captain derived uncommon satisfaction, as he did, indeed, from everything else that was done, whatever it happened to be; Florence had next to prepare Susan for their approaching separation. This was a much more difficult task, as Miss Nipper was of a resolute disposition, and had fully made up her mind that she had come back never to be parted from her old mistress any more.
'As to wages dear Miss Floy,' she said, 'you wouldn't hint and wrong me so as think of naming them, for I've put money by and wouldn't sell my love and duty at a time like this even if the Savings' Banks and me were total strangers or the Banks were broke to pieces, but you've never been without me darling from the time your poor dear Ma was took away, and though I'm nothing to be boasted of you're used to me and oh my own dear mistress through so many years don't think of going anywhere without me, for it mustn't and can't be!'
'Dear Susan, I am going on a long, long voyage.'
'Well Miss Floy, and what of that? the more you'll want me. Lengths of voyages ain't an object in my eyes, thank God!' said the impetuous Susan Nipper.
'But, Susan, I am going with Walter, and I would go with Walter anywhere - everywhere! Walter is poor, and I am very poor, and I must learn, now, both to help myself, and help him.'
'Dear Miss Floy!' cried Susan, bursting out afresh, and shaking her head violently, 'it's nothing new to you to help yourself and others too and be the patientest and truest of noble hearts, but let me talk to Mr Walter Gay and settle it with him, for suffer you to go away across the world alone I cannot, and I won't.'
'Alone, Susan?' returned Florence. 'Alone? and Walter taking me with him!' Ah, what a bright, amazed, enraptured smile was on her face! - He should have seen it. 'I am sure you will not speak to Walter if I ask you not,' she added tenderly; 'and pray don't, dear.'
Susan sobbed 'Why not, Miss Floy?'
'Because,' said Florence, 'I am going to be his wife, to give him up my whole heart, and to live with him and die with him. He might think, if you said to him what you have said to me, that I am afraid of what is before me, or that you have some cause to be afraid for me. Why, Susan, dear, I love him!'
Miss Nipper was so much affected by the quiet fervour of these words, and the simple, heartfelt, all-pervading earnestness expressed in them, and making the speaker's face more beautiful and pure than ever, that she could only cling to her again, crying. Was her little mistress really, really going to be married, and pitying, caressing, and protecting her, as she had done before. But the Nipper, though susceptible of womanly weaknesses, was almost as capable of putting constraint upon herself as of attacking the redoubtable MacStinger. From that time, she never returned to the subject, but was always cheerful, active, bustling, and hopeful. She did, indeed, inform Mr Toots privately, that she was only 'keeping up' for the time, and that when it was all over, and Miss Dombey was gone, she might be expected to become a spectacle distressful; and Mr Toots did also express that it was his case too, and that they would mingle their tears together; but she never otherwise indulged her private feelings in the presence of Florence or within the precincts of the Midshipman.
Limited and plain as Florence's wardrobe was - what a contrast to that prepared for the last marriage in which she had taken part! - there was a good deal to do in getting it ready, and Susan Nipper worked away at her side, all day, with the concentrated zeal of fifty sempstresses. The wonderful contributions Captain Cuttle would have made to this branch of the outfit, if he had been permitted - as pink parasols, tinted silk stockings, blue shoes, and other articles no less necessary on shipboard - would occupy some space in the recital. He was induced, however, by various fraudulent representations, to limit his contributions to a work-box and dressing case, of each of which he purchased the very largest specimen that could be got for money. For ten days or a fortnight afterwards, he generally sat, during the greater part of the day, gazing at these boxes; divided between extreme admiration of them, and dejected misgivings that they were not gorgeous enough, and frequently diving out into the street to purchase some wild article that he deemed necessary to their completeness. But his master-stroke was, the bearing of them both off, suddenly, one morning, and getting the two words FLORENCE GAY engraved upon a brass heart inlaid over the lid of each. After this, he smoked four pipes successively in the little parlour by himself, and was discovered chuckling, at the expiration of as many hours.
Walter was busy and away all day, but came there every morning early to see Florence, and always passed the evening with her. Florence never left her high rooms but to steal downstairs to wait for him when it was his time to come, or, sheltered by his proud, encircling arm, to bear him company to the door again, and sometimes peep into the street. In the twilight they were always together. Oh blessed time! Oh wandering heart at rest! Oh deep, exhaustless, mighty well of love, in which so much was sunk!
The cruel mark was on her bosom yet. It rose against her father with the breath she drew, it lay between her and her lover when he pressed her to his heart. But she forgot it. In the beating of that heart for her, and in the beating of her own for him, all harsher music was unheard, all stern unloving hearts forgotten. Fragile and delicate she was, but with a might of love within her that could, and did, create a world to fly to, and to rest in, out of his one image.
How often did the great house, and the old days, come before her in the twilight time, when she was sheltered by the arm, so proud, so fond, and, creeping closer to him, shrunk within it at the recollection! How often, from remembering the night when she went down to that room and met the never-to-be forgotten look, did she raise her eyes to those that watched her with such loving earnestness, and weep with happiness in such a refuge! The more she clung to it, the more the dear dead child was in her thoughts: but as if the last time she had seen her father, had been when he was sleeping and she kissed his face, she always left him so, and never, in her fancy, passed that hour.
'Walter, dear,' said Florence, one evening, when it was almost dark.'Do you know what I have been thinking to-day?'
'Thinking how the time is flying on, and how soon we shall be upon the sea, sweet Florence?'
'I don't mean that, Walter, though I think of that too. I have been thinking what a charge I am to you.
'A precious, sacred charge, dear heart! Why, I think that sometimes.'
'You are laughing, Walter. I know that's much more in your thoughts than mine. But I mean a cost.
'A cost, my own?'
'In money, dear. All these preparations that Susan and I are so busy with - I have been able to purchase very little for myself. You were poor before. But how much poorer I shall make you, Walter!'
'And how much richer, Florence!'
Florence laughed, and shook her head.
'Besides,' said Walter, 'long ago - before I went to sea - I had a little purse presented to me, dearest, which had money in it.'
'Ah!' returned Florence, laughing sorrowfully, 'very little! very little, Walter! But, you must not think,' and here she laid her light hand on his shoulder, and looked into his face, 'that I regret to be this burden on you. No, dear love, I am glad of it. I am happy in it. I wouldn't have it otherwise for all the world!'
'Nor I, indeed, dear Florence.'
'Ay! but, Walter, you can never feel it as I do. I am so proud of you! It makes my heart swell with such delight to know that those who speak of you must say you married a poor disowned girl, who had taken shelter here; who had no other home, no other friends; who had nothing - nothing! Oh, Walter, if I could have brought you millions, I never could have been so happy for your sake, as I am!'
'And you, dear Florence? are you nothing?' he returned.
'No, nothing, Walter. Nothing but your wife.' The light hand stole about his neck, and the voice came nearer - nearer. 'I am nothing any more, that is not you. I have no earthly hope any more, that is not you. I have nothing dear to me any more, that is not you.
Oh! well might Mr Toots leave the little company that evening, and twice go out to correct his watch by the Royal Exchange, and once to keep an appointment with a banker which he suddenly remembered, and once to take a little turn to Aldgate Pump and back!
But before he went upon these expeditions, or indeed before he came, and before lights were brought, Walter said:
'Florence, love, the lading of our ship is nearly finished, and probably on the very day of our marriage she will drop down the river. Shall we go away that morning, and stay in Kent until we go on board at Gravesend within a week?'
'If you please, Walter. I shall be happy anywhere. But - '
'Yes, my life?'
'You know,' said Florence, 'that we shall have no marriage party, and that nobody will distinguish us by our dress from other people. As we leave the same day, will you - will you take me somewhere that morning, Walter - early - before we go to church?'
Walter seemed to understand her, as so true a lover so truly loved should, and confirmed his ready promise with a kiss - with more than one perhaps, or two or threes or five or six; and in the grave, peaceful evening, Florence was very happy.
Then into the quiet room came Susan Nipper and the candles; shortly afterwards, the tea, the Captain, and the excursive Mr Toots, who, as above mentioned, was frequently on the move afterwards, and passed but a restless evening. This, however, was not his habit: for he generally got on very well, by dint of playing at cribbage with the Captain under the advice and guidance of Miss Nipper, and distracting his mind with the calculations incidental to the game; which he found to be a very effectual means of utterly confounding himself.
The Captain's visage on these occasions presented one of the finest examples of combination and succession of expression ever observed. His instinctive delicacy and his chivalrous feeling towards Florence, taught him that it was not a time for any boisterous jollity, or violent display of satisfaction; floating reminiscences of Lovely Peg, on the other hand, were constantly struggling for a vent, and urging the Captain to commit himself by some irreparable demonstration. Anon, his admiration of Florence and Walter - well-matched, truly, and full of grace and interest in their youth, and love, and good looks, as they sat apart - would take such complete possession of hIm, that he would lay down his cards, and beam upon them, dabbing his head all over with his pockethandkerchief; until warned, perhaps, by the sudden rushing forth of Mr Toots, that he had unconsciously been very instrumental, indeed, in making that gentleman miserable. This reflection would make the Captain profoundly melancholy, until the return of Mr Toots; when he would fall to his cards again, with many side winks and nods, and polite waves of his hook at Miss Nipper, importing that he wasn't going to do so any more. The state that ensued on this, was, perhaps, his best; for then, endeavouring to discharge all expression from his face, he would sit staring round the room, with all these expressions conveyed into it at once, and each wrestling with the other. Delighted admiration of Florence and Walter always overthrew the rest, and remained victorious and undisguised, unless Mr Toots made another rush into the air, and then the Captain would sit, like a remorseful culprit, until he came back again, occasionally calling upon himself, in a low reproachful voice, to 'Stand by!' or growling some remonstrance to 'Ed'ard Cuttle, my lad,' on the want of caution observabl in his behaviour.
One of Mr Toots's hardest trials, however, was of his own seeking. On the approach of the Sunday which was to witness the last of those askings in church of which the Captain had spoken, Mr Toots thus stated his feelings to Susan Nipper.
'Susan,' said Mr Toots, 'I am drawn towards the building. The words which cut me off from Miss Dombey for ever, will strike upon my ears like a knell you know, but upon my word and honour, I feel that I must hear them. Therefore,' said Mr Toots, 'will you accompany me to-morrow, to the sacred edifice?'
Miss Nipper expressed her readiness to do so, if that would be any satisfaction to Mr Toots, but besought him to abandon his idea of going.
'Susan,' returned Mr Toots, with much solemnity, 'before my whiskers began to be observed by anybody but myself, I adored Miss Dombey. While yet a victim to the thraldom of Blimber, I adored Miss Dombey. When I could no longer be kept out of my property, in a legal point of view, and - and accordingly came into it - I adored Miss Dombey. The banns which consign her to Lieutenant Walters, and me to - to Gloom, you know,' said Mr Toots, after hesitating for a strong expression, 'may be dreadful, will be dreadful; but I feel that I should wish to hear them spoken. I feel that I should wish to know that the ground wascertainly cut from under me, and that I hadn't a hope to cherish, or a - or a leg, in short, to - to go upon.'
Susan Nipper could only commiserate Mr Toots's unfortunate condition, and agree, under these circumstances, to accompany him; which she did next morning.
The church Walter had chosen for the purpose, was a mouldy old church in a yard, hemmed in by a labyrinth of back streets and courts, with a little burying-ground round it, and itself buried in a kind of vault, formed by the neighbouring houses, and paved with echoing stones It was a great dim, shabby pile, with high old oaken pews, among which about a score of people lost themselves every Sunday; while the clergyman's voice drowsily resounded through the emptiness, and the organ rumbled and rolled as if the church had got the colic, for want of a congregation to keep the wind and damp out. But so far was this city church from languishing for the company of other churches, that spires were clustered round it, as the masts of shipping cluster on the river. It would have been hard to count them from its steeple-top, they were so many. In almost every yard and blind-place near, there was a church. The confusion of bells when Susan and Mr Toots betook themselves towards it on the Sunday morning, was deafening. There were twenty churches close together, clamouring for people to come in.
The two stray sheep in question were penned by a beadle in a commodious pew, and, being early, sat for some time counting the congregation, listening to the disappointed bell high up in the tower, or looking at a shabby little old man in the porch behind the screen, who was ringing the same, like the Bull in Cock Robin,' with his foot in a stirrup. Mr Toots, after a lengthened survey of the large books on the reading-desk, whispered Miss Nipper that he wondered where the banns were kept, but that young lady merely shook her head and frowned; repelling for the time all approaches of a temporal nature.
Mr Toots, however, appearing unable to keep his thoughts from the banns, was evidently looking out for them during the whole preliminary portion of the service. As the time for reading them approached, the poor young gentleman manifested great anxiety and trepidation, which was not diminished by the unexpected apparition of the Captain in the front row of the gallery. When the clerk handed up a list to the clergyman, Mr Toots, being then seated, held on by the seat of the pew; but when the names of Walter Gay and Florence Dombey were read aloud as being in the third and last stage of that association, he was so entirley conquered by his feelings as to rush from the church without his hat, followed by the beadle and pew-opener, and two gentlemen of the medical profeesion, who happened to be present; of whom the first-named presently returned for that article, informing Miss Nipper in a whisper that she was not to make herself uneasy about the gentleman, as the gentleman said his indisposition was of no consequence.
Miss Nipper, feeling that the eyes of that integral portion of Europe which lost itself weekly among the high-backed pews, were upon her, would have been sufficient embarrassed by this incident, though it had terminated here; the more so, as the Captain in the front row of the gallery, was in a state of unmitigated consciousness which could hardly fail to express to the congregation that he had some mysterious connection with it. But the extreme restlessness of Mr Toots painfully increased and protracted the delicacy of her situation. That young gentleman, incapable, in his state of mind, of remaining alone in the churchyard, a prey to solitary meditation, and also desirous, no doubt, of testifying his respect for the offices he had in some measure interrupted, suddenly returned - not coming back to the pew, but stationing himself on a free seat in the aisle, between two elderly females who were in the habit of receiving their portion of a weekly dole of bread then set forth on a shelf in the porch. In this conjunction Mr Toots remained, greatly disturbing the congregation, who felt it impossible to avoid looking at him, until his feelings overcame him again, when he departed silently and suddenly. Not venturing to trust himself in the church any more, and yet wishing to have some social participation in what was going on there, Mr Toots was, after this, seen from time to time, looking in, with a lorn aspect, at one or other of the windows; and as there were several windows accessible to him from without, and as his restlessness was very great, it not only became difficult to conceive at which window he would appear next, but likewise became necessary, as it were, for the whole congregation to speculate upon the chances of the different windows, during the comparative leisure afforded them by the sermon. Mr Toots's movements in the churchyard were so eccentric, that he seemed generally to defeat all calculation, and to appear, like the conjuror's figure, where he was least expected; and the effect of these mysterious presentations was much increased by its being difficult to him to see in, and easy to everybody else to see out: which occasioned his remaining, every time, longer than might have been expected, with his face close to the glass, until he all at once became aware that all eyes were upon him, and vanished.
These proceedings on the part of Mr Toots, and the strong individual consciousness of them that was exhibited by the Captain, rendered Miss Nipper's position so responsible a one, that she was mightily relieved by the conclusion of the service; and was hardly so affable to Mr Toots as usual, when he informed her and the Captain, on the way back, that now he was sure he had no hope, you know, he felt more comfortable - at least not exactly more comfortable, but more comfortably and completely miserable.
Swiftly now, indeed, the time flew by until it was the evening before the day appointed for the marriage. They were all assembled in the upper room at the Midshipman's, and had no fear of interruption; for there were no lodgers in the house now, and the Midshipman had it all to himself. They were grave and quiet in the prospect of to-morrow, but moderately cheerful too. Florence, with Walter close beside her, was finishing a little piece of work intended as a parting gift to the Captain. The Captain was playing cribbage with Mr Toots. Mr Toots was taking counsel as to his hand, of Susan Nipper. Miss Nipper was giving it, with all due secrecy and circumspection. Diogenes was listening, and occasionally breaking out into a gruff half-smothered fragment of a bark, of which he afterwards seemed half-ashamed, as if he doubted having any reason for it.
'Steady, steady!' said the Captain to Diogenes, 'what's amiss with you? You don't seem easy in your mind to-night, my boy!'
Diogenes wagged his tail, but pricked up his ears immediately afterwards, and gave utterance to another fragment of a bark; for which he apologised to the Captain, by again wagging his tail.
'It's my opinion, Di,' said the Captain, looking thoughtfully at his cards, and stroking his chin with his hook, 'as you have your doubts of Mrs Richards; but if you're the animal I take you to be, you'll think better o' that; for her looks is her commission. Now, Brother:' to Mr Toots: 'if so be as you're ready, heave ahead.'
The Captain spoke with all composure and attention to the game, but suddenly his cards dropped out of his hand, his mouth and eyes opened wide, his legs drew themselves up and stuck out in front of his chair, and he sat staring at the door with blank amazement. Looking round upon the company, and seeing that none of them observed him or the cause of his astonishment, the Captain recovered himself with a great gasp, struck the table a tremendous blow, cried in a stentorian roar, 'Sol Gills ahoy!' and tumbled into the arms of a weather-beaten pea-coat that had come with Polly into the room.
In another moment, Walter was in the arms of the weather-beaten pea-coat. In another moment, Florence was in the arms of the weather-beaten pea-coat. In another moment, Captain Cuttle had embraced Mrs Richards and Miss Nipper, and was violently shaking hands with Mr Toots, exclaiming, as he waved his hook above his head, 'Hooroar, my lad, hooroar!' To which Mr Toots, wholly at a loss to account for these proceedings, replied with great politeness, 'Certainly, Captain Gills, whatever you think proper!'
The weather-beaten pea-coat, and a no less weather-beaten cap and comforter belonging to it, turned from the Captain and from Florence back to Walter, and sounds came from the weather-beaten pea-coat, cap, and comforter, as of an old man sobbing underneath them; while the shaggy sleeves clasped Walter tight. During this pause, there was an universal silence, and the Captain polished his nose with great diligence. But when the pea-coat, cap, and comforter lifted themselves up again, Florence gently moved towards them; and she and Walter taking them off, disclosed the old Instrument-maker, a little thinner and more careworn than of old, in his old Welsh wig and his old coffee-coloured coat and basket buttons, with his old infallible chronometer ticking away in his pocket.
'Chock full o' science,' said the radiant Captain, 'as ever he was! Sol Gills, Sol Gills, what have you been up to, for this many a long day, my ould boy?'
'I'm half blind, Ned,' said the old man, 'and almost deaf and dumb with joy.'
'His wery woice,' said the Captain, looking round with an exultation to which even his face could hardly render justice - 'his wery woice as chock full o' science as ever it was! Sol Gills, lay to, my lad, upon your own wines and fig-trees like a taut ould patriark as you are, and overhaul them there adwentures o' yourn, in your own formilior woice. 'Tis the woice,' said the Captain, impressively, and announcing a quotation with his hook, 'of the sluggard, I heerd him complain, you have woke me too soon, I must slumber again. Scatter his ene-mies, and make 'em fall!'
The Captain sat down with the air of a man who had happily expressed the feeling of everybody present, and immediately rose again to present Mr Toots, who was much disconcerted by the arrival of anybody, appearing to prefer a claim to the name of Gills.
'Although,' stammered Mr Toots, 'I had not the pleasure of your acquaintance, Sir, before you were - you were - '
'Lost to sight, to memory dear,' suggested the Captain, in a low voice.
Exactly so, Captain Gills!' assented Mr Toots. 'Although I had not the pleasure of your acquaintance, Mr - Mr Sols,' said Toots, hitting on that name in the inspiration of a bright idea, 'before that happened, I have the greatest pleasure, I assure you, in - you know, in knowing you. I hope,' said Mr Toots, 'that you're as well as can be expected.'
With these courteous words, Mr Toots sat down blushing and chuckling.
The old Instrument-maker, seated in a corner between Walter and Florence, and nodding at Polly, who was looking on, all smiles and delight, answered the Captain thus:
'Ned Cuttle, my dear boy, although I have heard something of the changes of events here, from my pleasant friend there - what a pleasant face she has to be sure, to welcome a wanderer home!' said the old man, breaking off, and rubbing his hands in his old dreamy way.
'Hear him!' cried the Captain gravely. ''Tis woman as seduces all mankind. For which,' aside to Mr Toots, 'you'll overhaul your Adam and Eve, brother.'
'I shall make a point of doing so, Captain Gills,' said Mr Toots.
'Although I have heard something of the changes of events, from her,' resumed the Instrument-maker, taking his old spectacles from his pocket, and putting them on his forehead in his old manner, 'they are so great and unexpected, and I am so overpowered by the sight of my dear boy, and by the,' - glancing at the downcast eyes of Florence, and not attempting to finish the sentence - 'that I - I can't say much to-night. But my dear Ned Cuttle, why didn't you write?'
The astonishment depicted in the Captain's features positively frightened Mr Toots, whose eyes were quite fixed by it, so that he could not withdraw them from his face.
'Write!' echoed the Captain. 'Write, Sol Gills?'
'Ay,' said the old man, 'either to Barbados, or Jamaica, or Demerara, That was what I asked.'
'What you asked, Sol Gills?' repeated the Captain.
'Ay,' said the old man. 'Don't you know, Ned? Sure you have not forgotten? Every time I wrote to you.'
The Captain took off his glazed hat, hung it on his hook, and smoothing his hair from behind with his hand, sat gazing at the group around him: a perfect image of wondering resignation.
'You don't appear to understand me, Ned!' observed old Sol.
'Sol Gills,' returned the Captain, after staring at him and the rest for a long time, without speaking, 'I'm gone about and adrift. Pay out a word or two respecting them adwenturs, will you! Can't I bring up, nohows? Nohows?' said the Captain, ruminating, and staring all round.
'You know, Ned,' said Sol Gills, 'why I left here. Did you open my packet, Ned?'
'Why, ay, ay,' said the Captain. 'To be sure, I opened the packet.'
'And read it?' said the old man.
'And read it,' answered the Captain, eyeing him attentively, and proceeding to quote it from memory. '"My dear Ned Cuttle, when I left home for the West Indies in forlorn search of intelligence of my dear-" There he sits! There's Wal'r!' said the Captain, as if he were relieved by getting hold of anything that was real and indisputable.
'Well, Ned. Now attend a moment!' said the old man. 'When I wrote first - that was from Barbados - I said that though you would receive that letter long before the year was out, I should be glad if you would open the packet, as it explained the reason of my going away. Very good, Ned. When I wrote the second, third, and perhaps the fourth times - that was from Jamaica - I said I was in just the same state, couldn't rest, and couldn't come away from that part of the world, without knowing that my boy was lost or saved. When I wrote next - that, I think, was from Demerara, wasn't it?'
'That he thinks was from Demerara, warn't it!' said the Captain, looking hopelessly round.
'I said,' proceeded old Sol, 'that still there was no certain information got yet. That I found many captains and others, in that part of the world, who had known me for years, and who assisted me with a passage here and there, and for whom I was able, now and then, to do a little in return, in my own craft. That everyone was sorry for me, and seemed to take a sort of interest in my wanderings; and that I began to think it would be my fate to cruise about in search of tidings of my boy, until I died.'
'Began to think as how he was a scientific Flying Dutchman!' said the Captain, as before, and with great seriousness.
'But when the news come one day, Ned, - that was to Barbados, after I got back there, - that a China trader home'ard bound had been spoke, that had my boy aboard, then, Ned, I took passage in the next ship and came home; arrived at home to-night to find it true, thank God!' said the old man, devoutly.
The Captain, after bowing his head with great reverence, stared all round the circle, beginning with Mr Toots, and ending with the Instrument-maker; then gravely said:
'Sol Gills! The observation as I'm a-going to make is calc'lated to blow every stitch of sail as you can carry, clean out of the bolt-ropes, and bring you on your beam ends with a lurch. Not one of them letters was ever delivered to Ed'ard Cuttle. Not one o' them letters,' repeated the Captain, to make his declaration the more solemn and impressive, 'was ever delivered unto Ed'ard Cuttle, Mariner, of England, as lives at home at ease, and doth improve each shining hour!'
'And posted by my own hand! And directed by my own hand, Number nine Brig Place!' exclaimed old Sol.
The colour all went out of the Captain's face and all came back again in a glow.
'What do you mean, Sol Gills, my friend, by Number nine Brig Place?' inquired the Captain.
'Mean? Your lodgings, Ned,' returned the old man. 'Mrs What's-her-name! I shall forget my own name next, but I am behind the present time - I always was, you recollect - and very much confused. Mrs - '
'Sol Gills!' said the Captain, as if he were putting the most improbable case in the world, 'it ain't the name of MacStinger as you're a trying to remember?'
'Of course it is!' exclaimed the Instrument-maker. 'To be sure Ned. Mrs MacStinger!'
Captain Cuttle, whose eyes were now as wide open as they would be, and the knobs upon whose face were perfectly luminous, gave a long shrill whistle of a most melancholy sound, and stood gazing at everybody in a state of speechlessness.
'Overhaul that there again, Sol Gills, will you be so kind?' he said at last.
'All these letters,' returned Uncle Sol, beating time with the forefinger of his right hand upon the palm of his left, with a steadiness and distinctness that might have done honour, even to the infallible chronometer in his pocket, 'I posted with my own hand, and directed with my own hand, to Captain Cuttle, at Mrs MacStinger's, Number nine Brig Place.'
The Captain took his glazed hat off his hook, looked into it, put it on, and sat down.
'Why, friends all,' said the Captain, staring round in the last state of discomfiture, 'I cut and run from there!'
'And no one knew where you were gone, Captain Cuttle?' cried Walter hastily.
'Bless your heart, Wal'r,' said the Captain, shaking his head, 'she'd never have allowed o' my coming to take charge o' this here property. Nothing could be done but cut and run. Lord love you, Wal'r!' said the Captain, 'you've only seen her in a calm! But see her when her angry passions rise - and make a note on!'
'I'd give it her!' remarked the Nipper, softly.
'Would you, do you think, my dear?' returned the Captain, with feeble admiration. 'Well, my dear, it does you credit. But there ain't no wild animal I wouldn't sooner face myself. I only got my chest away by means of a friend as nobody's a match for. It was no good sending any letter there. She wouldn't take in any letter, bless you,' said the Captain, 'under them circumstances! Why, you could hardly make it worth a man's while to be the postman!'
'Then it's pretty clear, Captain Cuttle, that all of us, and you and Uncle Sol especially,' said Walter, 'may thank Mrs MacStinger for no small anxiety.'
The general obligation in this wise to the determined relict of the late Mr MacStinger, was so apparent, that the Captain did not contest the point; but being in some measure ashamed of his position, though nobody dwelt upon the subject, and Walter especially avoided it, remembering the last conversation he and the Captain had held together respecting it, he remained under a cloud for nearly five minutes - an extraordinary period for him when that sun, his face, broke out once more, shining on all beholders with extraordinary brilliancy; and he fell into a fit of shaking hands with everybody over and over again.
At an early hour, but not before Uncle Sol and Walter had questioned each other at some length about their voyages and dangers, they all, except Walter, vacated Florence's room, and went down to the parlour. Here they were soon afterwards joined by Walter, who told them Florence was a little sorrowful and heavy-hearted, and had gone to bed. Though they could not have disturbed her with their voices down there, they all spoke in a whisper after this: and each, in his different way, felt very lovingly and gently towards Walter's fair young bride: and a long explanation there was of everything relating to her, for the satisfaction of Uncle Sol; and very sensible Mr Toots was of the delicacy with which Walter made his name and services important, and his presence necessary to their little council.
'Mr Toots,' said Walter, on parting with him at the house door, 'we shall see each other to-morrow morning?'
'Lieutenant Walters,' returned Mr Toots, grasping his hand fervently, 'I shall certainly be present.
'This is the last night we shall meet for a long time - the last night we may ever meet,' said Walter. 'Such a noble heart as yours, must feel, I think, when another heart is bound to it. I hope you know that I am very grateful to you?'
'Walters,' replied Mr Toots, quite touched, 'I should be glad to feel that you had reason to be so.'
'Florence,' said Walter, 'on this last night of her bearing her own name, has made me promise - it was only just now, when you left us together - that I would tell you - with her dear love - '
Mr Toots laid his hand upon the doorpost, and his eyes upon his hand.
- with her dear love,' said Walter, 'that she can never have a friend whom she will value above you. That the recollection of your true consideration for her always, can never be forgotten by her. That she remembers you in her prayers to-night, and hopes that you will think of her when she is far away. Shall I say anything for you?'
'Say, Walter,' replied Mr Toots indistinctly, 'that I shall think of her every day, but never without feeling happy to know that she is married to the man she loves, and who loves her. Say, if you please, that I am sure her husband deserves her - even her!- and that I am glad of her choice.'
Mr Toots got more distinct as he came to these last words, and raising his eyes from the doorpost, said them stoutly. He then shook Walter's hand again with a fervour that Walter was not slow to return and started homeward.
Mr Toots was accompanied by the Chicken, whom he had of late brought with him every evening, and left in the shop, with an idea that unforeseen circumstances might arise from without, in which the prowess of that distinguished character would be of service to the Midshipman. The Chicken did not appear to be in a particularly good humour on this occasion. Either the gas-lamps were treacherous, or he cocked his eye in a hideous manner, and likewise distorted his nose, when Mr Toots, crossing the road, looked back over his shoulder at the room where Florence slept. On the road home, he was more demonstrative of aggressive intentions against the other foot-passengers, than comported with a professor of the peaceful art of self-defence. Arrived at home, instead of leaving Mr Toots in his apartments when he had escorted him thither, he remained before him weighing his white hat in both hands by the brim, and twitching his head and nose (both of which had been many times broken, and but indifferently repaired), with an air of decided disrespect.
His patron being much engaged with his own thoughts, did not observe this for some time, nor indeed until the Chicken, determined not to be overlooked, had made divers clicking sounds with his tongue and teeth, to attract attention.
'Now, Master,' said the Chicken, doggedly, when he, at length, caught Mr Toots's eye, 'I want to know whether this here gammon is to finish it, or whether you're a going in to win?'
'Chicken,' returned Mr Toots, 'explain yourself.'
'Why then, here's all about it, Master,' said the Chicken. 'I ain't a cove to chuck a word away. Here's wot it is. Are any on 'em to be doubled up?'
When the Chicken put this question he dropped his hat, made a dodge and a feint with his left hand, hit a supposed enemy a violent blow with his right, shook his head smartly, and recovered himself'
'Come, Master,' said the Chicken. 'Is it to be gammon or pluck? Which?'
Chicken,' returned Mr Toots, 'your expressions are coarse, and your meaning is obscure.'
'Why, then, I tell you what, Master,' said the Chicken. 'This is where it is. It's mean.'
'What is mean, Chicken?' asked Mr Toots.
'It is,' said the Chicken, with a frightful corrugation of his broken nose. 'There! Now, Master! Wot! When you could go and blow on this here match to the stiff'un;' by which depreciatory appellation it has been since supposed that the Game One intended to signify Mr Dombey; 'and when you could knock the winner and all the kit of 'em dead out o' wind and time, are you going to give in? To give in? 'said the Chicken, with contemptuous emphasis. 'Wy, it's mean!'
'Chicken,' said Mr Toots, severely, 'you're a perfect Vulture! Your sentiments are atrocious.'
'My sentiments is Game and Fancy, Master,' returned the Chicken. 'That's wot my sentiments is. I can't abear a meanness. I'm afore the public, I'm to be heerd on at the bar of the Little Helephant, and no Gov'ner o' mine mustn't go and do what's mean. Wy, it's mean,' said the Chicken, with increased expression. 'That's where it is. It's mean.'
'Chicken,' said Mr Toots, 'you disgust me.'
'Master,' returned the Chicken, putting on his hat, 'there's a pair on us, then. Come! Here's a offer! You've spoke to me more than once't or twice't about the public line. Never mind! Give me a fi'typunnote to-morrow, and let me go.'
'Chicken,' returned Mr Toots, 'after the odious sentiments you have expressed, I shall be glad to part on such terms.'
'Done then,' said the Chicken. 'It's a bargain. This here conduct of yourn won't suit my book, Master. Wy, it's mean,' said the Chicken; who seemed equally unable to get beyond that point, and to stop short of it. 'That's where it is; it's mean!'
So Mr Toots and the Chicken agreed to part on this incompatibility of moral perception; and Mr Toots lying down to sleep, dreamed happily of Florence, who had thought of him as her friend upon the last night of her maiden life, and who had sent him her dear love.
海军军官候补生精神抖擞。图茨先生和苏珊终于来了。苏珊像一个发疯的姑娘一样跑到楼上,图茨先生和斗鸡则走进客厅。
“啊,我亲爱的心肝宝贝可爱的弗洛伊小姐!”尼珀跑进弗洛伊的房间,喊道,“想不到事情会到了这个地步,我竟会在这里找到您呀我亲爱的小鸽子,您在这里没有人侍候您也没有一个您可以称为自己的家,不过我永远永远也不会再离开您了,弗洛伊小姐,因为我虽然不会长苔藓,但我不是一块滚动的石头,①我的心也不是一块石头要不然它就不会像现在这样在爆裂了,啊亲爱的啊亲爱的!”
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①滚动的石头不长苔藓(Arollingstonegathersnomoss),是英国谚语。滚动的石头一般比喻喜欢改换职业、住址等的人。
尼珀姑娘滔滔不绝地倾吐出这些话语,并跪在她的女主人的前面,紧紧地拥抱着她。
“我亲爱的!”苏珊喊道,“过去发生的事情我全知道了,我一切都知道了,我心爱的宝贝,我喘不过气来了,给我空气吧!”
“苏珊,亲爱的好苏珊!”弗洛伦斯说道。
“啊上帝保佑她!她还是个小孩子的时候我就是她的小侍女!难道她确确实实当真要结婚了吗?”苏珊高声喊道,她又是痛苦又是高兴,又是自豪又是悲伤,天知道还夹杂着多少其他相互冲突的感情。
“谁跟您这么说的?”弗洛伦斯说道。
“啊我的天哪!就是那个最傻里傻气的人图茨,”苏珊歇斯底里地回答道,“我知道他准没错,我亲爱的,因为他很伤心。他是个最忠实最傻里傻气的小娃娃!难道我心爱的人儿确确实实要结婚了吗?”苏珊继续说道,一边泪流满脸地又紧紧拥抱着她。
尼珀不断地提到这个问题,每当提到这个问题的时候,她都要抬起头来注视这张年轻的脸孔并吻它,然后又把头低垂在女主人肩膀上,爱抚着她,并哭泣着;她提到这个问题时所流露出来的、混杂着同情、喜悦、亲切与爱护的感情是世界上真正女性的高尚的感情。
“好了,好了!”弗洛伦斯不久用安慰的声调说道,“啊现在您镇静下来了,亲爱的苏珊!”
尼珀姑娘坐在女主人脚边的地板上,又是大笑又是哭泣,一只手用手绢抹着眼泪,另一只手轻轻地拍着正舔她的脸孔的戴奥吉尼斯;她承认她现在镇静一些了,为了证明这一点,她又大笑了一会儿,哭泣了一会儿。
“我——我——我从来没有见过像图茨这样的人,”苏珊说道,“从我生下来起从来没有见过!”
“他是那么善良,”弗洛伦斯提示道。
“而且是那么滑稽可笑!”苏珊抽抽嗒嗒地哭泣着说道,“他跟我坐在马车里跟我谈话,那位不值得尊敬的斗鸡则坐在车夫座位上,那时候瞧他那说话的神态和腔调!”
“他谈了些什么呢;苏珊?”弗洛伦斯胆怯地问道。
“他谈到沃尔特斯上尉,谈到吉尔斯船长,还谈到您我亲爱的弗洛伊小姐,还有那沉默的坟墓,”苏珊说道。
“沉默的坟墓!”弗洛伦斯重复地说道。
“他说,”这时苏珊歇斯底里地大笑了一阵子,“他将立刻很轻松自在地走进沉默的坟墓,可是您放心他不会的,我亲爱的弗洛伊小姐,他说那句话是表示他看到别人幸福真是太快乐了,他也许并不是所罗门,”尼珀姑娘又像往常那样滔滔不绝地继续说道,“我也没有说他就是所罗门,但是我敢说世界上从来没有见到过像他那样不自私的人!”
尼珀姑娘作了这个有力的声明之后,仍然处于歇斯底里的状态,毫无节制地大笑着,然后才告诉弗洛伦斯,他在楼下等着见她,这将是对他最近不辞辛苦、长途奔波的极为丰厚的酬答。
弗洛伦斯请苏珊去邀请图茨先生上楼来,她将高兴地对他的好意帮助表示感谢。几分钟之后,苏珊就把那位年轻人带进房间,他头发还是乱蓬蓬的,说起话来结巴得厉害。
“董贝小姐,”图茨先生说道,“又承蒙您允许我——注视——至少,不是注视,不过——我不知道我要说什么,不过这是无关紧要的。”
“我是这么经常地感谢您,我都已经把话讲完了,因此我不知道现在该讲些什么好。”弗洛伦斯向他伸出双手,脸上露出真挚的谢意。
“董贝小姐,”图茨先生用可怕的说道,“如果您能够咒骂我几句(这并不改变您那天使般的性格),那么我反倒好受些;现在您讲了这样亲切的话,可真把我难住了(如果您允许我这样说的话)。这些话对我的影响——是——不过,”图茨先生突然中断话头,说道,“我离题了,这完全是无关紧要的。”
弗洛伦斯由于除了再次谢谢他之外,似乎没办法回答他的话,所以就再一次谢谢他。
“董贝小姐,”图茨先生说道,“如果可能的话,我希望趁这个机会解释一、两句。我本可以和苏珊早一些回来的,可是第一,我们不知道她投奔的亲戚的姓名,第二,因为她已离开了她那位亲戚的家,到另一位住在远处的亲戚那里去了,所以我想,如果不是斗鸡聪明的话,那么我们到现在也还不见得就能找到她呢。”
弗洛伦斯相信这一点。
“不过,这并不是重要的一点,”图茨先生说道,“我可以向您肯定地说,董贝小姐,就我当时的心情来说(它是容易想象而难以描述的),跟苏珊在一起对我是一种安慰与满足。这次旅行本身就是一种报酬。可是那仍然不是重要的一点。董贝小姐,我曾经跟您说过,我明白,我并不是个人们可以称做头脑灵敏的人。我完全知道这一点。我自己比任何人都清楚,我是个多么——如果不算说得太过分的话,那么我就要说,我是个脑子很愚钝的人。可是尽管这样,董贝小姐,我还是看出沃尔特斯上尉的情况是怎么回事。不论这种情况会使我产生多少痛苦(这是完全无关紧要的),可是我一定得说,沃尔特斯上尉看来是个值得享受降临在他的——他的身上的幸福的人。祝愿他长久地享受它,并珍惜它,就像一个很不相同、很不足取、指出他的姓名完全是无关紧要的人会珍惜它的一样!不过,这仍然不是重要的一点。董贝小姐,吉尔斯船长是我的朋友,我觉得如果在这段时间里我不时来回到这里来看看,吉尔斯船长是会感到高兴的。到这里来看看也会使我感到高兴。不过我不能忘记,我有一次在布赖顿广场角落里犯了一个极严重的错误;如果我到这里来会使您有一点点不乐意的话,那么我只请求您现在就向我指出来;我可以向您保证,我将完全理解您。我决不会认为这是冷酷无情,而只会由于荣幸地得到您的信任而感到快乐和幸福。”
“图茨先生,”弗洛伦斯回答道,“您是我的一位很真诚的老朋友;如果您现在不再到这里来看我们的话,那么您将会使我感到很不快乐。我看到您只会感到高兴,而决不会产生任何其他的感情。”“董贝小姐,”图茨先生掏出手绢来,说道,“如果我掉眼泪的话,那么这是欢乐的眼泪;这是无关紧要的;我深深地感谢您。在您讲了这些亲切的话以后,请允许我说一句,我不打算再轻视我自己了。”
弗洛伦斯听到这个暗示,露出了茫然不解的可爱的表情。
“我的意思是说,”图茨先生说道,“我将认为,在我没有被沉默的坟墓召唤去之前,作为人类的一员,我有责任尽量让我的外表好看一些;如果——如果情况允许的话,那么我将——把我的靴子擦得亮亮的。董贝小姐,这是我最后一次冒昧地向您讲到有关个人方面的事。我确实非常感谢您。如果我不是像我的朋友们或我自己所希望的那样明白事理的话,那么,说实话,我以我的荣誉发誓,我对别人的体贴与好意是特别能领会的。如果——如果——我知道怎样开始的话,图茨先生用充满热情的语气说道,“我觉得仿佛我现在能以最美好的方式来表达我的感情似的。”
图茨先生等了一、两分钟,看看他是否能想出怎样开始;看来他还是想不出来,就匆匆告辞了。他走下楼去找船长,在店铺里找到了他。
“吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“我现在跟您谈的事情必须保证严守秘密,吉尔斯船长;这是我跟董贝小姐在楼上谈话的结果。”
“在船内和在桅杆高处是吗,我的孩子?”船长低声问道。
“正是这样,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,他由于完全不明白船长讲话的意思,就以极大的热情表示同意。“吉尔斯船长,我相信董贝小姐很快就要跟沃尔特斯上尉结婚了吧?”
“是的,是的,我的孩子。我们这里全都是船友。沃尔跟他亲爱的情人在结婚预告①结束之后,就立即在缔结婚姻的房屋里结为夫妇了,”卡特尔船长凑着他的耳朵低声说道。
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①在信奉基督教的国家,人们在结婚之前,在教堂中须宣读结婚预告,询问是否有人提出异议;在不同时间,共宣读三次预告。
“结婚预告,吉尔斯船长!”图茨先生重复说道。
“在那边教堂里,”船长用大姆指指指肩膀后面,说道。
“啊,是的!”图茨先生回答道。
“然后怎样呢?”船长用手背拍拍图茨先生的胸膛,往后退了一步,露出钦佩的神情看着他,并用嘶哑的低声说道,“然后这个像只外国鸟儿一样娇生惯养大的可爱的人儿,将跟沃尔一起,离开这里,越过呼啸的海洋,航行到中国去!”

  “天主啊,吉尔斯船长!”图茨先生说道。

  “是的,”船长点点头。“沃尔上次乘船遇难,飓风把船刮得离开了航线;后来把沃尔搭救起来的那只船是一条中国商船;沃尔随着这只船航行,不论是在船上还是上岸的时候,大家都喜爱他,因为他是个十分灵敏和善良的小伙子。由于船上的货物经管员①在广州死去了,沃尔就得到了这个职务(他先前是当一名办事员)。现在他被任命为另一条船上的货物经管员,这条船和那条船同属于一个主人。因此,你看,”船长沉思地重复说道,“这个可爱的人儿就要跟沃尔一起,越过呼啸的海洋,航行到中国去了。”

  --------

  ①货物经管员(supercargo):是船上权力很大的人,他代表船主处理一切营业事务。

  图茨先生和卡特尔船长一齐叹了一口气。

  “那该怎么办呢?”船长说道。“她真诚地爱着他。他真诚地爱着她。那些本应该喜爱她、照料她的人却像凶残的野兽一样对待她。当她被自己的家庭抛弃、来到我这里、倒在地板上的时候,她的受了创伤的心破碎了。我知道这一点。我,爱德华·卡特尔看到了这一点。只有真诚的、亲切的、始终如一的爱情才能使它重新愈合。如果我不知道这一点,如果,老弟,我不知道沃尔是她真正的心爱的情人,她又是他真正心爱的情人的话,那么我宁肯把我这发青的胳膊和腿砍断,也不会让她出去航海的。可是我确实知道这一点,那又该怎么办呢?呃,那我就说,让老天爷保佑他们两人吧,老天爷一定会保佑的!阿门!”

  “吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“请让我高兴地跟您握手吧。您说得真好,说得我整个背上感到阵阵愉快的温暖。我也说阿门。您知道,吉尔斯船长,我也是爱慕董贝小姐的。”

  “高兴起来,别灰心丧气!”船长把手搁在图茨先生的肩膀上,说道,“做好准备,孩子!”

  “吉尔斯船长,”振作起精神的图茨先生说道,“我自己也打算高兴起来,不灰心丧气。也要尽可能做好准备。当沉默的坟墓张开嘴巴的时候,吉尔斯船长,我将准备好被埋葬;但决不是在它张开嘴巴之前。可是我现在对控制我自己的能力没有把握,我想跟您说的话,以及想劳驾您转告沃尔特斯上尉的话是以下一些。”

  “是以下一些,”船长重复着说道。“别着急!”

  “董贝小姐是无比地仁厚,”图茨先生眼泪汪汪地继续说道,“她说,她看到我非但不觉得讨厌,而恰好是相反。您和这里所有的人对于一个——一个确实好像是错生下来的人又都是同样的宽厚与容忍,”图茨先生说到这里,情绪暂时低落下来,“因此,我以后将不时在晚间到这里来,在这短短的时间里我们大家全都能聚会在一起。不过我所要请求的是这样:如果将来在某一个时刻我觉得看到沃尔特斯上尉美满幸福的生活,忍受不了内心的痛苦,不得不突然跑出屋子的话,那么我希望,吉尔斯船长,您和他都能把这看作是我的不幸,而不是我的过失或由于我不愿进行思想斗争。那时候,请你们相信,我对任何人都不怀恶意——尤其是对沃尔特斯上尉本人——,那时候您可以随便说一下,我是出去散步,或可能是去看看皇家交易所的时钟几点钟了。吉尔斯船长,如果您能跟我达成这个协议,并能替沃尔特斯上尉作主的话,那么这就将会解除我感情上的沉重的负担,就是要我牺牲一大笔财产我都十分愿意。”

  “别说了,我的孩子,”船长答道,“不论您升出什么旗,沃尔和我都能明白您的信号,并作出回答的。”

  “吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道,“我的心情大大地轻松了。我希望我能保持住这里大家对我的好感。以我的荣誉发誓,我——我的用意是好的,虽然我不能很好地把它表明。您知道,”图茨先生说道,“这正好像伯吉斯公司想给顾客做一条新奇出色的裤子,却不能按他们心里的设想裁剪出来一样。”

  图茨先生举了这个适当的比方来说明,似乎有些扬扬得意,然后他向卡特尔船长祝了福,就告辞了。

  正直的船长有心的喜悦住在他的家里,又有苏珊照料他,成了个喜气洋洋,快乐幸福的人。日子一天天地过去,他愈来愈喜气洋洋,愈来愈快乐幸福。船长对苏珊的智慧怀着深深的敬意,他也永远不会忘记她对麦克·斯廷杰太太的英勇对抗。在与她讨论了几次之后,他向弗洛伦斯建议,为了谨慎小心和保守秘密起见,那位暂时请来照料家务的、平时坐在伦敦肉类市场蓝伞下面的老太太的女儿,由一个他们比较熟悉的、他们可以完全放心的人来代替。苏珊当时在场,就提名理查兹大嫂,这她在事前曾向船长建议过。弗洛伦斯一听到这个名字,脸上就露出喜色。苏珊当天下午就出发到图德尔的住处去跟理查兹大嫂商量,而且当天晚上,就在脸颊红润、脸孔长得像苹果一样的波利的陪同下,得意扬扬地回来了。波利看到弗洛伦斯时表露出来的那些深厚的、亲热的感情,实在不比苏珊·尼珀本人逊色。

  这桩具有韬略意义的事情完成了,船长感到非常满意(虽然他对其他完成的各种事情也很满意);弗洛伦斯下一步就得让苏珊为即将来临的离别做好思想准备。这是一件更加困难的任务,因为尼珀姑娘是个性格坚定的人,她完全下定决心,她这次回来以后,再也不跟她的老主人分离了。

  “关于工资,亲爱的弗洛伊小姐,”她说道,“您就别暗示这个问题了,你要是想到要向我提起这个问题那就冤屈我了,我存有一些钱,像现在这种时候哪怕储蓄银行翻脸不认我或银行破了产,我也不愿意抛弃我的爱与责任,可是亲爱的,自从您可怜的亲爱的妈妈离开人世之后,您就从来没有离开过我,虽然我没有什么可以夸耀的,可是在这许多年月中您跟我已经相处惯了,啊我亲爱的小姐,您甚至连想也别去想离开我到任何地方去,因为这是不应该的也是不可能的!”

  “亲爱的苏珊,我要动身去进行一次很远很远的航行。”

  “唔弗洛伊小姐,这算得了什么?在这种情况下您就更需要我了。谢谢上帝!航行的距离在我看来并不是个障碍!”急躁的苏珊·尼珀说道。

  “可是,苏珊,我将跟沃尔特一起走,我将跟沃尔特到任何地方去——到所有地方去!沃尔特穷,我也穷,我现在必须学习帮助我自己和帮助他生活。”

  “亲爱的弗洛伊小姐!”苏珊又大声喊道,并使劲地摇着头,“您帮助自己,做一个最有耐性最真诚最高尚的人,这已不是新鲜的事情了,不过让我跟沃尔特·兼伊先生谈谈,跟他一起把这个问题解决了,因为我不能让您孤身一人出去远渡重洋,横穿世界,我不能,我也不肯。”

  “孤身一人吗,苏珊?”弗洛伦斯回答道,“孤身一人吗?沃尔特带着我跟他一道去呢!”啊,这时候她脸上露出了一个多么明朗的、惊奇的、狂喜的微笑啊!他要是能看到这那该多好呀!“我相信,如果我请您别去跟沃尔特谈的话,那么您是不会去谈的,”她亲切地补充道,“请您别去跟他谈吧,亲爱的。”

  苏珊抽抽嗒嗒地哭泣道,“为什么别谈呢,弗洛伊小姐?”

  “因为,”弗洛伦斯说道,“我将成为他的妻子,将把我整个心都交给他,和他同生共死;如果您把您跟我说过的话说给他听的话,那么他可能会想,我害怕展现在我前面的生活,或者您有理由为我而害怕。啊,苏珊,我亲爱的,我爱他!”

  这些平静而热情的话和它们所表达出来的纯朴的、出自肺腑的、渗透一切的恳切的感情,使说话的人的脸孔比以往任何时候都更为漂亮;这一切使尼珀姑娘非常感动,她只好又像先前一样,抱着她,喊道,难道她的小女主人确确实实要结婚了吗?一边怜悯她,爱抚她并保护着她。

  不过,尼珀虽然也难免有女性的各种弱点,她却是能够约束自己的,几乎跟她能向厉害的麦克斯廷杰太太发动进攻一样。从这时候起,她没有一次回到这个话题,而总是高高兴兴,灵敏活泼,忙忙碌碌,满怀希望。她在私下里确实跟图茨先生说过她只是暂时“勉强坚持”,当这一切都已经过去,董贝小姐走了以后,她很可能会陷于非常悲惨可怜的境地的。图茨先生也表示,他的情况也会是同样,那时候他们可以把眼泪流在一起,但是她从来没有当着弗洛伦斯的面,或是在海军军官候补生的辖区之内随意放纵自己的感情。

  弗洛伦斯需要的服装虽然简朴,有限(这与她上一次参加婚礼之前订做的服装是何等鲜明的对比啊!),但要把它们全都准备好,还是要费很多操劳的,因此,苏珊·尼珀就整天待在弗洛伦斯的身旁,以五十个裁缝集中起来才有的热忱,忙碌个不停。卡特尔船长如果得到允许的话,那么他想给弗洛伦斯补充的物品——如粉红色的阳伞、染色的长丝袜、蓝色的鞋子以及其他船上的必需品——一一列举起来,将会是很长的篇幅。可是他们通过种种哄骗的建议,诱导他把他的贡献只限于一只针线盒和一只化妆用品盒。这两样东西他都买了能用钱买到的最大的品种。在以后的十天或两星期中,他整天大部分时间通常都是坐在那里凝视着这两只盒子;有时对它们极为赞美,有时则郁郁不乐地担心它们还不够华丽;他时常偷偷地到街上去买点他认为使它们更完善所必需的东西。不过他最精采的一着,就是在一个早上突然把这两只盒子带走,嘱咐在每只盒子盖上镶嵌的黄铜的心中刻上“弗洛伦斯·盖伊”几个字。在这之后,他独自在小客厅里接连抽了几烟斗烟,在这几个钟头中总可以看到他在暗自吃吃地笑着。

  沃尔特整天忙忙碌碌,但是每天清晨都要去看弗洛伦斯,而且常常跟她在一起度过晚上。弗洛伦斯平时总是不离开她在顶楼上的房间,只有到了他要回来的时候才悄悄地下楼去等待他,或者在他用一只胳膊自豪地搂着她的时候陪他到门口,有时向街上探望。在黎明与黄昏,他们总是待在一起。啊,这最幸福快乐的时光啊!啊,忙乱的心得到安息了!啊,那深深的、无穷无尽的、强有力的爱情的源泉啊,有多少东西沉没在里面呀!

  残酷的伤痕依旧留在她的胸脯上。她每吸一口气的时候,它就起来指责她的父亲一次;当他把她紧紧地压在他的心上的时候,它就躺在她和她的情人之间。可是她已经把它忘记了。在为她而存在的那颗心的跳动之中,在为他而存在的她自己的那颗心的跳动之中,所有刺耳的音乐都听不到了,所有冷酷的、缺乏爱情的心都被忘记了。她虽然脆弱、娇嫩,可是她心中爱情的力量却能够,而且已经创造出一个由他一个人的形象所构成的世界,她可以飞到那里去,在那里得到安息。

  在黎明与黄昏,当沃尔特怀着自豪与喜爱的心情,用一只胳膊庇护着她的时候,那宏伟的公馆与往昔的日子是多么经常地浮现在她的心间,而当这些记忆浮现时她就更加紧紧地悄悄挨近他,在他的胳膊中收缩着身子!当她记起那天夜里她到楼下房间里,遇到那永远也不会被忘记的眼光的时候,她是多么经常地抬起眼睛去看那双满怀深情注视着她的眼睛,并在这样的庇护中幸福地哭泣!她愈是亲密地依恋着他,她就愈经常地想起那亲爱的死去的孩子;但是仿佛她最后一次看到父亲的时候,是他正在睡觉,她吻了他的脸的那一次;她总是让他处于那样的状态,在她的想象中从不去想在那以后发生的事情。

  “沃尔特,我亲爱的,”有一天傍晚几乎已经天黑了的时候,弗洛伦斯说道,“你知道我今天一直在想什么?”

  “你在想,时间飞逝得多么快,我们很快就要在海上了,是吗,亲爱的弗洛伦斯?”

  “虽然我也想到这些,沃尔特,但是我不是指这方面。我一直在想,我对你是一个多么大的负担。”

  “是一个宝贵的、神圣的负担,亲爱的心肝!我自己有时也想到这一点呢。”

  “你在开玩笑,沃尔特。我知道你比我更经常地想到这一点。不过现在我说的是一笔开支。”

  “一笔开支,我的宝贝?”

  “钱的开支,亲爱的。苏珊和我忙着进行的这些准备——我靠自己的力量不能买什么东西。你以前是穷的。可是我将使你变得更加穷了,沃尔特!”

  “更加富了,弗洛伦斯!”

  弗洛伦斯大笑起来,摇摇头。

  “再说,”沃尔特说道,“好久以前——在我出发航海之前——,我还得到一个小钱包,送给我作为礼物的,里面有钱。”

  “啊!”弗洛伦斯忧愁地笑着,回答道,“钱很少!很少,沃尔特!不过,你别以为,”这时她把轻轻的手搁在他的肩膀上,注视着他的脸孔,“我因为成为你的负担而感到遗憾。不,亲爱的,我很高兴成为这个负担。我为这感到幸福。无论如何我也不愿意不是。”

  “确实,我也是这样,亲爱的弗洛伦斯。”

  “是的,不过,沃尔特,你决不能像我感觉到这一点。我是多么为你而感到自豪!我知道,那些谈到你的人一定会说,你娶了一个穷苦的、被遗弃的、到这里来避难的姑娘;她没有别的家,没有别的朋友,她什么也没有,——什么也没有!我知道这些情形,只能使我心里感到非常高兴!啊,沃尔特,如果我能带给你几百万镑的话,那么我也决不能像我现在这样由于你而感到幸福的!”

  “可是你,亲爱的弗洛伦斯!难道你什么也不值吗?”他回答道。

  “是的,什么也不值,沃尔特。我只是你的妻子。”那只轻轻的手偷偷地搂着他的脖子,声音愈来愈近,——愈来愈近,“没有你,我就什么也不值了。没有你,我就没有人世间的一切希望了。没有你,我就没有什么更可宝贵的了。”

  啊!怪不得那天晚上图茨先生要离开他的这几个朋友们,两次出去跟皇家交易所的时钟对表,一次出去跟他突然记起的一位银行家约会,一次到阿尔德盖特水泵房去兜一个圈子,然后回来!

  可是,在图茨先生还没有出去转悠之前,甚至在他还没有来到之前,当还没有点燃蜡烛的时候,沃尔特说:

  “弗洛伦斯,我亲爱的,我们的船装货快装完了,也许就在我们结婚的那天它就要开到河口去了。我们是不是那天早上离开这里,到肯特郡①去待着,然后过一个星期到格雷夫森德上船?”

  --------

  ①肯特郡(Kent):在英格兰东南端。

  “随你的便,沃尔特。我不论在什么地方都是幸福的。不过——”

  “什么,我的命根子?”

  “你知道,”弗洛伦斯说道,“我们将不举行隆重的婚礼,谁也不会根据我们的服装看出我们跟其他的人们有什么区别。既然那天我们要离开这里,你是不是可以——你是不是可以在那天早上——一清早——在我们去教堂之前,带我到一个地方去,沃尔特?”

  沃尔特似乎理解她的意思,就像被这样真诚爱着的一位真诚的情人应当理解的一样,他以一个吻来证明他已欣然同意——,也许不止一个吻,而是两、三个或是五、六个吻;在那个庄严的、宁静的傍晚,弗洛伦斯感到很幸福。

  在这之后,苏珊·尼珀拿着蜡烛走进安静的房间;不久,茶端来了,船长来了,爱转悠的图茨先生来了;前面说过,图茨先生后来经常离开,他度过了一个很不安宁的夜晚。不过这倒不是他的习惯,他通常是过得很好的,因为他在尼珀姑娘的参谋与指导下,跟船长玩克里拜基牌①。这时候他把心思用在记分上面了,他觉得这是可以把自己完全弄得糊里糊涂的很有效的方法。

  --------

  ①克里拜基(Cribbage)牌:一种二、三或四人玩的纸牌戏。每人每次发6张牌,先凑足121分或61分的人取胜。

  在这种场合,船长面部的表情是各种感情相互混杂和交替出现的最好的例子。他生性谨慎细心,对弗洛伦斯又怀着骑士般的感情,这些都使他懂得,这不是吵吵闹闹,尽情欢乐或是狂热地表露自己称心满意的时候。可是,另一方面,对《可爱的配格姑娘》这首歌曲的回忆浮现到心头,又总是经常不断地在挣扎着,想要打开一个发泄的孔道,并驱策着船长作出一些并不能弥补损失的表示。有时,船长对弗洛伦斯和沃尔特赞赏极了(当他们稍稍离开坐着的时候,他们确实是非常相配的一对;在他们的青春、爱情与美貌中充满了优雅与情趣),于是就忘掉了其余的一切,情不自禁地放下纸牌,眉开眼笑地对着他们,一边用手绢轻轻地擦着自己脑袋各处,直到图茨先生突然离座而走,这才提醒他确实已在无意间大大地触动了这位年轻人,使他感到痛苦。这个想法使船长深为忧郁,直到图茨先生回来为止;图茨先生回来以后,他就重新玩起牌来,一边向尼珀姑娘暗暗地眨眨眼睛,点点头,彬彬有礼地挥挥钩子,让她了解,他再也不那么做了。在这种情况下,船长的面容也许是最有意思的了,因为他这时候竭力想保持着镇静自若、不动声色的神态,就坐在那里,注视着房间各处,而恰好就在这时候,所有各种表情都同时涌入他的脸膛,相互搏斗着。对弗洛伦斯与沃尔特高兴赞赏的表情经常打倒其他的表情,不加掩饰地在欢庆胜利,除非图茨先生又突然往门外跑去,那时候船长就像一个悔恨的罪犯一样坐在那里,直到他又回来为止;有时他用轻轻的责备的命令自己。“做好准备!”或粗声大气地告诫“爱德华·卡特尔,我的孩子,”他的行为不慎重。

  不过,图茨先生最艰难的考验当中的一个,却是他自愿去接受的。在船长说过的,最后一次宣读结婚预告的那个星期天将要来临的时候,图茨先生对苏珊·尼珀这样吐露他的心情。

  “苏珊,”图茨先生说道,“教堂正在把我吸引到它那里去。您知道,那些把我跟董贝小姐永远切断的词句将像丧钟一样在我的耳边敲响;可是说实话,我以我的荣誉发誓,我觉得我必须听它们。因此,”图茨先生说道,“明天您能陪我到那座神圣的大厦去吗?”

  尼珀姑娘表示,如果这使图茨先生高兴的话,那么她将十分乐意陪他去,但是她恳求他放弃那个念头。

  “苏珊,”图茨先生一本正经地回答道,“当我的连鬓胡子除我自己以外没有被任何人看出来之前,我就爱慕董贝小姐了。当我还在受布林伯奴役的时候,我就爱慕董贝小姐了。当从法律的观点来说,我不能再被剥夺对我的财产的所有权(因此后来我就取得了这份财产)的时候,我就爱慕董贝小姐。结婚预告把她交付给沃尔特斯上尉,而把我交付给——您知道,交付给黯然忧伤,”图茨先生在思索一个有力的表达词语之后,说道,“它可能是可怕的,它将是可怕的,但是我觉得我应当希望听到它们被读出来。我觉得我应当希望知道,我脚底下的土地确实被抽掉了,我已没有什么希望可以怀抱的了,或者——总而言之,我没有腿可以走路了。”

  苏珊·尼珀只能同情图茨先生不幸的境遇,同意在这种情况下陪他前去。第二天早上她果真这样做了。

  沃尔特为了这一目的所选的教堂是一座生霉的老教堂,坐落在一个围场里;围场四周是错综复杂的偏僻的街道与庭院,围场外面的一圈是一个小小的墓地;由于围场四周围着房屋,它铺砌的石头踩上去又会发出回声,所以它本身就好像是埋葬在墓穴当中似的。这座教堂是一座幽暗的、破旧失修的高大建筑物;里面有高高的、老旧的、栎木制作的靠背长椅;每个星期天约有20个人心不在焉地坐在上面,这时教士的催人睡眠似地在空处回荡,风琴叮叮冬冬地大声鸣响、号叫着,仿佛教堂由于缺少听众,不能把风和湿气挡在外面,因而患了腹绞痛似的。但是这个城市教堂却决不会由于缺少其他教堂陪伴而苦恼,因为其他教堂的尖顶群集在它的四周,就像船舶的桅杆群集在河流上面一样。它们的数目太多了,很难从教堂的尖顶上数清它们。几乎在每一个围场和附近不通行的地方都有一个教堂。当星期天早上苏珊和图茨先生走近它的时候,四周教堂发出一片重叠交错的钟声,真是震耳欲聋。有20个教堂挨在一起,吵吵闹闹地召唤着人们到它那里去。

  这两只离群的羊被一位教区事务员赶进宽敞的靠背长凳上;由于时间还早,他们就坐在那里数听众的人数,听高高的钟楼上的失望的钟声,看一位衣衫褴褛的矮小的老头子站在门廊后面,像《科克·罗宾》中的公牛一样,①脚踩在镜形的铁具里,让钟发出当当的响声。图茨先生对读经台上的大书进行了长时间的观察之后,低声对尼珀姑娘说,他很想知道,结婚预告保存在什么地方,可是那位姑娘只是摇摇头,皱皱眉头,暂时避开谈一切世俗性质的事情。

  --------

  ①《科克·罗宾》(CockRobin)是一支摇篮曲,共有14段,叙述科克·罗宾被杀死的情况及他的丧葬安排。最后第2段的原文为:“Who’lltollthebell?I,saidtheBull,BecauseIcanpull,I’lltollthebell.”译为中文是:“谁将来敲丧钟?我!公牛自告奋勇,因为我能把钟绳拉动,所以我将来敲丧钟。”

  图茨先生的思想看来不能从结婚预告上转开,在礼拜仪式开头部分进行时显然在用眼睛寻找它。当宣读结婚预告的时间来临时,这位可怜的年轻人显示出极大的忧虑与恐慌,这并不因为船长在边座前排意外地出现而减轻。当教会文书把名册递给教士的时候,当时坐着的图茨先生用手抓住靠背长椅。当沃尔特·盖伊和弗洛伦斯·董贝的名字在第三次也是最后一次结婚预告中被高声宣读的时候,他完全失去了对自己的控制力,忘了戴帽就从教堂往外急匆匆地跑出去;一位教区事务员、两位领座人和两位偶然到教堂里来的、从事医疗职业的先生跟在他后面。教区事务员不久就回来取帽子,低声对尼珀姑娘说,她不必为那位先生担心,因为那位先生说,他的不舒服是无关紧要的。

  尼珀姑娘感到,每周消失在高背条凳式座位中的欧洲那整个部分的眼睛全都在注视她,如果事情就到此为止的话,那么她也由于这件事情弄得够窘迫的,而当边座前排中的船长显示出极大的关切,不免使教堂中的会众感到他跟刚才发生的事情有着某种神秘的关系,这样她就更感到窘迫了。可是图茨先生极为烦躁不安的心情在痛苦地增加着,这就延长了她的难堪的处境。这位年轻的先生在当时的心情下不可能一个人留在教堂院子里,孤单寂寞地苦苦思索;他无疑也想对被他多少打扰了的仪式表示敬意,所以突然又回来了,但不是回到原先的座位中,而是在走廊里一个免费座位中坐下来,坐在两位上了岁数的妇女中间;这两位妇女习惯在星期天来接受每星期向她们施舍的面包(这时候面包正放在门廊里的架子上),图茨先生跟她们坐在一道,就大大地打扰了教堂的会众安心听讲,他们觉得不能不去看他,直到他又抑制不住自己的感情,悄悄地、突然地离开为止。图茨先生不敢再到教堂里去,可是又希望自己多少能参加一些那里正在举行的活动,所以就带着一副孤独无助的神色,一会儿从这个窗口往里看看,一会儿从另一个窗口往里看看;由于他可以从外面往里看的窗子有好几个,又由于他极度地坐立不安,所以不仅很难想象他下一次会在哪一个窗口出现,而且全体会众还感到有必要利用说教给他们提供的比较闲暇的时间,猜测猜测他在各个窗口出现的机会;图茨先生在教堂院子里的走动真是异常古怪,他似乎总是能使所有的猜测落空,并像魔术家似地在大家最意料不到的地方出现;由于他难于看清里面,而其他人却容易看清外面,所以这些神秘出现所产生的效果就大大地增强了;正因为他难于看清里面,所以他每次脸贴着玻璃的时间比大家预料的要长久,直到他突然注意到所有的眼睛都在注视着他的时候,他才立刻消失不见了。

  由于图茨先生进行这些活动,船长对它们又显示出极大的关切,这使得尼珀姑娘感到自己处于一种责任重大的地位,所以礼拜仪式结束之后她感到大大地轻松;在返回的路途中,她对图茨先生比往常格外亲切,因为这时候图茨先生告诉她和船长,现在他相信他已没有希望,您知道,他感到舒适一些了;确切地说,不是舒适一些了,而是对他的完全不幸心安理得了。

  时间迅速飞逝,结婚前一天的晚上来到了。他们全都聚集在海军军官候补生家里楼上的房间里,不用担心有谁来打扰他们,因为现在已没有房客,整个房子完全听由海军军官候补生管理。他们展望明天来临时神色庄严、安静,但也适度地高兴。弗洛伦斯打算送给船长一件刺绣品作为临别礼物,现正在上面缝上最后几针,沃尔特紧紧挨在她的身旁。船长正在跟图茨先生玩克里拜基牌。图茨先生正在跟尼珀姑娘商量怎样出牌。尼珀姑娘以应有的秘密与谨慎在给他出主意。戴奥吉尼斯在听着什么,不时发出一声粗哑的、半压住的吠叫,事后似乎又有些难为情,仿佛他怀疑他刚才的吠叫是否有理由。

  “沉着气,沉着气!”船长对戴奥吉尼斯说道,“你什么事不对头啦?今晚你似乎心情不平静,我的孩子!”

  戴奥吉尼斯摇摇尾巴,但立刻又竖起耳朵,发出另一声吠叫;在这之后,他又摇摇尾巴,向船长表示歉意。

  “我觉得,戴,”船长沉思地看着牌,用钩子敲着下巴,说道,“你对理查兹大嫂有些怀疑;可是你如果是我认为的那种狗的话,那么你得改变你的看法才好;因为你一看见她的脸孔,你就对她完全信任了。唔,老弟,”他转向图茨先生说道,“如果您准备好了,那就收着曳索让船前进吧!”

  船长说的时候十分镇静、注意力完全集中在牌上,但是突然间牌从他的手中掉下,他的嘴和眼睛张得大大的,他的腿离开了地面,笔直地伸在椅子前面;他坐在那里,无限诧异地凝视着门口。船长环视屋子里的人们,发现谁也没有注意到他或他惊奇的原因,就大大地喘了一口气,定定神,在桌子上猛力地敲了一下,洪亮地喊道,“啊嗬,所尔·吉尔斯!”然后跌跌撞撞地倒在那位穿着遭受风吹雨打的粗呢上装的人的怀抱里了,他是由波利陪着走进房间里来的。

  在另一瞬间,沃尔特投到那套遭受风吹雨打的粗呢上装的怀抱里了。在另一瞬间,弗洛伦斯投到那套遭受风吹雨打的粗呢上装的怀抱里了。在另一瞬间,卡特尔船长拥抱了理查兹大嫂和尼珀姑娘,并和图茨先生使劲地握着手,同时在头顶挥着钩子,喊道,“万岁!我的孩子!万岁!”图茨先生完全不明白发生的情形,彬彬有礼地回答道,“当然,吉尔斯船长,您认为合适的一切都万岁!”

  遭受风吹雨打的粗呢上装和同样遭受风吹雨打的便帽与羊毛围巾离开了船长,离开了弗洛伦斯,又转回到沃尔特那里,然后又从遭受风吹雨打的粗呢上装、便帽与羊毛围巾中发出了好像是一位老人在它们下面抽泣的,而那破烂的衣袖则紧紧地拥抱着沃尔特。在这段时间中,屋内一片寂静,船长不时地擦着鼻子。但是当粗呢上装、便帽与羊毛围巾又离开沃尔特的时候,弗洛伦斯又静悄悄地走向它们。她与沃尔特把它们脱掉,在他们面前出现了年老的仪器制造商,戴着旧的威尔士假发,穿着旧的有着很大钮扣的咖啡色上衣,老的准确无误的精密计时表在衣袋里滴嗒滴嗒地响着;他比过去稍稍瘦了一些,面容更加显露出饱经忧患的神色。

  “满脑子都是科学,就像过去一样!”容光焕发的船长说道,“所尔·吉尔斯,所尔·吉尔斯,你在这许许多多的日子里,在哪里待着哪,我的老孩子!”

  “我高兴得眼睛都快看不见了,内德,”老人说道,“耳朵几乎也聋了,嘴巴几乎也说不出话来了。”

  “这就是他的!”船长说道,一边欢天喜地地环视四周,他这种欢天喜地的心情甚至连他的面容也难以正确地表露出来,“这就是他的,就像过去一样,充满了科学!所尔·吉尔斯,我的朋友,像一位身体健壮的、年老的家长那样,躺在你自己的葡萄藤蔓与无花果树中间休息休息,然后用你原先的、我们熟悉的,跟我们谈谈你的奇遇吧。”船长动人地说道,一边挥了一下钩子,说出一段引语,“我听到懒汉就用这种抱怨说,您喊醒我太早了,我还想再睡睡。把他的敌人打得落花流水,让他们倒下吧!”

  船长露出一副高兴地表达了所有在场的人的感情的神态,坐下来,然后又立刻站起来去介绍图茨先生。图茨先生看到这位新来的人看来愿意姓吉尔斯,感到不知该怎么办才好。

  “虽然,”图茨先生结结巴巴地说道,“我不能有幸在以前认识您,先生,那时候,——那时候——”

  “我们看不见您了,但您却保留在我们的亲切记忆中,”船长低声提示道。

  “完全正确,吉尔斯船长!”图茨先生同意道,“虽然我不能有幸在那以前认识您,——所尔斯先生,”图茨先生灵机一动,想出了一个称呼姓名的巧妙主意,“但是我肯定地对您说,我非常高兴现在跟您认识,您知道。我希望,”图茨先生说道,“您的身体就像我们所期望的那样健康。”

  图茨先生说了这些有礼貌的话以后,坐下来,脸孔涨得通红,吃吃地笑着。

  年老的仪器制造商坐在沃尔特与弗洛伦斯之间的角落里,向满脸笑容,高兴地看着他们的波利点点头,这样回答船长:

  “内德·卡特尔,我亲爱的老朋友,虽然我已经从我这位和蔼亲切的朋友那里听到这里所发生的一些变化——她欢迎一位在外飘泊流浪的人回家时,脸容是多么和蔼亲切啊!”老人突然中断了讲话,以他惯常的恍惚的神情搓着手。

  “听他讲!”船长庄严地喊道,“这是个诱惑所有男子的女人,”他转向图茨先生说道,“老弟,翻一翻您的‘亚当与夏娃’就可以找到这句话。”

  “我一定照办,吉尔斯船长,”图茨先生说道。

  “我虽然已从她那里听到这里发生的一些变化,”仪器制造商从衣袋中取出他的旧眼镜,像过去一样戴在额头上,并继续说道,“这些变化这样大,这样意想不到,当我看到我的亲爱的孩子和——”他向弗洛伦斯低垂的眼睛看了一眼,不想把话说得完完整整,“我是多么地激动,我——我今天不能说很多的话了。可是我亲爱的内德·卡特尔,你为什么不给我写信呢?”

  船长脸上表露出的惊奇使图茨先生感到十分害怕,他眼睛紧紧地盯住船长,不能从他脸上离开。

  “写信!”船长重复地说道,“写信,所尔·吉尔斯!”

  “是啊,”老人说道,“把信寄到巴巴多斯,牙买加①或德梅拉拉②,这就是我请求你做的。”

  --------

  ①牙买加(Jamaica):在拉丁美洲,在狄更斯写作本书时是英国的殖民地,1962年宣布独立,为英联邦的成员。

  ②德梅拉拉(Demerara):圭亚那城市。

  “这就是你请求我做的吧,所尔·吉尔斯?”船长重复着说道。

  “是啊,”老人说道,“难道你不知道这一点吗,内德?你肯定不会忘记吧?我在每封信中都这样请求你。”

  船长脱下上了光的帽子,挂在钩子上;一边用手把头发从后往前梳理,一边坐在那里注视着四周的人们,完全是一副困惑不解与听天由命的神情。

  “你好像不明白我的话,内德!”老所尔指出道。

  “所尔·吉尔斯,”船长目不转睛地向他和其他人注视了很久之后,回答道,“我已掉转船头,随风飘流了。你讲几句你的冒险故事好不好?难道我没法子改变方向了吗?没法子了吗?”船长沉思默想着,同时注视着四周,说道。

  “内德,你知道我为什么要离开这里,”所尔·吉尔斯说道,“你打开我的小包包了没有?”

  “是的,是的,”船长说道,“当然,我打开那个小包包了。”

  “也念过里面的信了吗?”老人问道。

  “念了,”船长聚精会神地注视着他,回答道,然后凭着记忆背出其中的一些段落,“我亲爱的内德·卡特尔,当我离开家前往西印度群岛,怀着渺茫的希望去打听我亲爱的孩子的消息的时候,——他就坐在这里哪!沃尔就在这里哪!”船长说道,仿佛他抓住了什么真实的、无可争辩的东西,因而感到轻松似的。

  “唔,内德,等一会儿!”老人说道,“在第一封信中——那是从巴巴多斯寄出的——我写道,虽然你收到的时候离一年的期限还很远,但我希望你能打开那个小包包,因为我在里面说明了我离开的原因。很好,内德。在第二封、第三封、也许还在第四封信中——那些信都是从牙买加寄出的——我写道,我仍处在同样的状态中;当我不知道我的孩子是遭难了还是被救起来了的时候,我不能休息,不能从世界的那个地区离开。下一封信——我想是从德梅拉拉寄出的,是不是?”

  “他想是从德梅拉拉寄出的,是不是!”船长毫无希望地看看四周,说道。

  “我在信中写道,仍旧得不到任何确实的消息。在世界的这个地区,我遇见许多跟我认识已有多年的船长和其他人,他们帮助我从一个地方迁到另一个地方,我则不时凭我的技术给他们一些微薄的帮助,作为答谢。我写道,大家都怜悯我,似乎对我的飘泊流浪都抱着同情的态度,我开始想,也许我为了打听孩子的消息,命该在海上航行,直到死去吧。”

  “他开始想,他成了个懂得科学的漂泊的荷兰人了!”船长像先前一样毫无希望地,同时又一本正经地说道。

  “但是有一天传来了一个消息,内德,——那是在我回到巴巴多斯以后传到那里的——消息说,一条中国商船在回国途中把我的孩子救起来了,于是,内德,我就搭乘下一条回国的船,今天回到家里,证明那消息是真实的。谢谢上帝!”

  老人虔诚地说道。

  船长十分崇敬地低下头之后,向所有在场的人(从图茨先生开始,一直到最后的仪器制造商)扫视了一遍,然后庄严地说道:

  “所尔·吉尔斯!我打算作出的声明将像大风一样把你帆上的每一个针眼吹裂,把缝在帆边的粗绳吹断,把你的船吹得就要倾覆,使你濒临危境!这些信没有一封寄到爱德华·卡特尔的手中。”船长为了使他的声明更加庄严,给人以更深的印象,重复说道,“没有一封寄到在家乡安宁生活、时刻都有进步的英国海员爱德华·卡特尔的手中!”

  “这些信是我亲手投邮的!投寄地址也是我亲笔写的:布里格广场九号!”老所尔大声喊道。

  船长的脸孔立刻变得毫无血色,然后又涨得通红。

  “所尔·吉尔斯,我的朋友,你说布里格广场九号是什么意思?”

  “什么意思?那是你的住所呀,内德,”老人回答道,“那位姓什么的太太!哎呀,我看我下一步连自己的姓名都要给忘掉了,不过我是落后于当今时代的人——你记得,我过去也总是这样——,已被弄得糊涂不清。那位太太姓——”

  “所尔·吉尔斯!”船长说道,他那声调仿佛是在说出一个世界上最不可能的假设似的,“你想要回忆起来的姓是不是麦克斯廷杰?”

  “可不,当然是啦!”仪器制造商高声喊道,“完全不错,内德·麦克斯廷杰!”

  卡特尔船长的眼睛张大得不能再大了,脸上的疙瘩完全发亮了;他这时吹了一声长长的、尖声的、音调忧郁的口哨,站在那里默默地看着每一个人,失去了说话的能力。

  “劳驾你再说一遍好吗,所尔·吉尔斯?”他终于说道。

  “所有这些信,”所尔舅舅回答道,一边用右手的食指在左手手掌中拍着拍子,他拍得那么准确、清楚,甚至给他衣袋中毫无误差的精密计时表也增了光,“这些信是我亲手投邮的,投寄地址也是我亲笔写的:布里格广场9号麦克斯廷杰太太家的房客卡特尔船长收。”

  船长从钩子上取下上了光的帽子,往里看看,戴到头上,然后坐下。

  “哎呀,我所有的朋友们啊,”船长非常狼狈地向四周看看,说道,“要知道我已从那里急忙逃跑出来了!”①

  --------

  ①急忙逃跑(cutandrun):是航海用语,意即来不及起锚,就砍断锚绳,立即开航。

  “谁也不知道您逃到哪里去了吗,卡特尔船长?”沃尔特性急地喊道。

  “哎呀,沃尔,”船长摇摇头,说道,“她决不会允许我到这里来看管这里的财产。我没有别的办法好想,就只好急忙逃跑。天主爱你,沃尔!”船长说道,“你只是在她平静的时候看到她,可是当她火冒三丈的时候你去看看她吧!——从书本上查到这句话的时候,请做个记号。”

  “要是我,我得让她尝尝我的厉害!”尼珀温和地说道。

  “您想,您得让她尝尝您的厉害吗,我亲爱的?”船长怀着几分钦佩的心情回答道,“唔,我亲爱的,这会给您增添光彩。至于我,我宁肯面对任何野兽。我是靠了一位举世无双的朋友的帮助,才把我的箱子从她那里搬出来的。把信投寄到那里去是毫无用处的。我的天,在这种情况下她是什么信也不会收的。简直犯不着让邮差去跑这趟路!”

  “这么说,情况完全清楚了,卡特尔船长,”沃尔特说道,“我们所有的人,特别是您和所尔舅舅,可能都要为我们经受过的万分忧虑谢谢麦克斯廷杰太太。”

  已故麦克斯廷杰先生的意志坚决的遗孀在这方面的恩情是这么明显,因此船长没有提出任何异议。可是他对自己的境况感到一定程度的羞愧(虽然谁也没有涉及这一点;沃尔特记得,他跟船长最近关于这个问题的一次谈话,尤其避免提到这一点),所以像在乌云下面一样郁郁不乐地待了将近五分钟光景——对他来说,这是一段异乎寻常的时间——,然后,他的脸像太阳一样重新露了出来,以异乎寻常的光辉,照耀着所有在场的人;他突然高兴地跟每个人握起手来,握了一次又一次。

  在不很晚的时候——不过那时候所尔舅舅和沃尔特已经相当详细地问到了各自的航行情况和所遭遇过的危险了——,除了沃尔特以外,其他的人全都离开了弗洛伦斯的房间,到楼下的客厅里去。不久,沃尔特到客厅里参加到他们当中,他告诉他们,弗洛伦斯感到有些难过和心情沉重,已经上床睡觉了。虽然他们在楼下的不可能打扰她,可是在这之后大家都压低嗓子说话;每个人都按照各自不同的想法,对沃尔特漂亮的、年轻的未婚妻抱着喜爱的、亲切的感情。为了满足所尔舅舅的要求,一切有关她的事情都向他作了详细的说明;沃尔特提到了图茨先生的名字,对他和他的帮助给了很高的评价,并认为他参加到小小的家庭聚会中是必要的。

  图茨先生十分赏识沃尔特关怀体贴的心意。

  “图茨先生,”沃尔特在门口和他分别时说道,“我们明天上午再见面?”

  “沃尔特斯上尉,”图茨先生热烈地握着他的手,回答道,“我一定来。”

  “今天夜里是我们长期分离——也许是永远分离前的最后一夜,”汉尔特说道,“我觉得您的心这样高尚,因而它对于另一颗心的呼唤是不可能不作出响应的。我希望您知道,我是多么感谢您?”

  “沃尔特斯,”图茨先生十分感动地回答道,“如果您认为有理由感谢我,我很高兴。”

  “弗洛伦斯在还姓她自己的姓之前的这最后一夜,”沃尔特说道,“就在几分钟之前,你们离开之后我们两人待在一起的时候,她要我答应,我要以她亲切的爱转告您——”

  图茨先生把手臂搁在门柱上,并让眼睛被那只手臂捂住。

  “——以她亲切的爱转告您,”沃尔特说道,“她永远不会有一个像您这样她更为珍视的朋友了。她永远也不会忘记您对她的真诚的关怀。她今天夜间将记得为您祈祷,希望当她远离这里的时候,您将想到她。您有什么话需要我转告她的吗?”

  “沃尔特,”图茨先生模糊地回答道,“请告诉她,我将每天想到她;但我知道她嫁给了一个她喜爱的、也喜爱她的人,总是感到很快乐的。如果您愿意,也请转告她,我相信,她的丈夫是配得上她的——哪怕是她!我对她的选择感到高兴。”

  图茨先生讲到最后几个字时,说得比较清楚,他把眼睛从门柱上抬起来,勇敢地把它们说了出来。然后他又热情地跟沃尔特握手,沃尔特也毫不迟疑地回握了他的手。在这之后他动身回家了。

  图茨先生由斗鸡陪伴;最近他每天晚上都把他带到这里来,并把他留在店铺里,唯恐外面会发生什么预料不到的情况;如果发生这种情况的话,那么这位卓越人物的英勇是可以为海军军官候补生效劳的。这一天斗鸡的情绪好像不是特别好。当图茨先生穿过马路,回头看看弗洛伦斯睡觉的房间的时候,如果煤气灯的灯光没有照错的话,那么它就照出他用一个丑恶的态度,把眼睛向上一瞟,并用同样的态度歪歪鼻子。在回家的路途中,他对其他行人显示出一种敌对的意向,不像是一位和平的自卫艺术的教授应有的的行为。到了家里,他把图茨先生护送到房间里以后没有离开,而是继续站在他的前面,露出一副明显的无礼的神态,一边用两只手提着白帽子的边缘,掂掂它的分量,一边猛晃着头和急抽着鼻子(他的头和鼻子曾经被打破过好多次,修补得并不好)。

  他的恩主专心一意地想着自己的心事,一时没有注意到这些情形;后来斗鸡不甘心被忽视,就用舌头和牙齿发出各种各样的来引起他的注意。

  “喂,主人,”斗鸡终于顽固地使图茨先生注意到他,说道,“我想要知道,究意是您已一败涂地、就此结束,还是您打算要赢?”

  “斗鸡,”图茨先生回答道,“请把您这话的意思解释明白。”

  “既然是这样,我就向您和盘托出,主人,”斗鸡说道,“我不是个吞吞吐吐、不肯把话说完的家伙。问题在于:是不是需要把他们当中的什么人打得直不起腰来?”

  斗鸡提出这个问题之后,把帽子扔掉,闪开身子,用左手虚击了一拳,再用右手把假想的敌人猛打了一拳,威风凛凛地摇着头,然后重新站稳。

  “喂,主人,”斗鸡说道,“是您已一败涂地、就此了事,还是我们重振旗鼓,去取得胜利?哪一个?”

  “斗鸡,”图茨先生回答道,“您的话是粗野的,您的意思是暧昧的。”

  “好吧,那我就来跟您说,主人,”斗鸡说道,“实际情况就是这样。它是下贱的。”

  “什么是下贱,斗鸡?”图茨先生问道。

  “是的,就是下贱!”斗鸡可怕地皱着被打坏的鼻子,说道,“您看!主人!这是什么?您可以在婚礼上上前去打那个目中无人的家伙,”假定斗鸡的这个称呼是指董贝先生,“您可以把得胜的人和他们所有这伙人都打倒,可是这些时候您不去打,是不是反而打算屈服投降?是不是要去屈服投降?”

  斗鸡用轻蔑的强调语气说道,“呸,这是下贱!”

  “斗鸡,”图茨先生严厉地说道,“您是一只真正的兀鹰!

  您的感情是残忍的!”

  “我的感情是勇敢和高尚的,主人,”斗鸡回答道,“我的感情就是这样。我不能容忍下贱。我将在一家‘小象’酒吧里,在大庭广众之前讲话。我的主人不应该干出下贱的事情来。是的,这是下贱的,”斗鸡更富于表情地说道,“正是这样。这是下贱的。”

  “斗鸡,”图茨先生说道,“我讨厌您。”

  “主人,”斗鸡戴上帽子,回答道,“我也讨厌您。请听着!这是我对您的建议。您向我不止一、两次谈到开饭馆的事。没关系。明天给我五十镑,让我走吧。”

  “斗鸡,”图茨先生回答道,“在您表达了这样令人嫌恶的感情之后,我乐意跟您按这样的条件分手。”

  “那就这样办吧,”斗鸡说道,“这笔交易就讲定了。您的行为不合我的口味,主人。它是下贱的,”斗鸡说道;他似乎同样不能容忍那一点,并就此了事。“实际情况就是这样,这是下贱的!”

  于是,图茨先生和斗鸡由于对道义原则的认识上互不投合就这样分手了;图茨先生躺下睡觉,快乐地梦见了弗洛伦斯;她在她的未婚生活的最后一个夜晚把他当做朋友,想到了他,并已向他转达了她的亲切的爱。

慕若涵

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爱就像蓝天白云,晴空万里,突然暴风雨!
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Chapter 57
Another Wedding
Mr Sownds the beadle, and Mrs Miff the pew-opener, are early at their posts in the fine church where Mr Dombey was married. A yellow-faced old gentleman from India, is going to take unto himself a young wife this morning, and six carriages full of company are expected, and Mrs Miff has been informed that the yellow-faced old gentleman could pave the road to church with diamonds and hardly miss them. The nuptial benediction is to be a superior one, proceeding from a very reverend, a dean, and the lady is to be given away, as an extraordinary present, by somebody who comes express from the Horse Guards
Mrs Miff is more intolerant of common people this morning, than she generally is; and she his always strong opinions on that subject, for it is associated with free sittings. Mrs Miff is not a student of political economy (she thinks the science is connected with dissenters; 'Baptists or Wesleyans, or some o' them,' she says), but she can never understand what business your common folks have to be married. 'Drat 'em,' says Mrs Miff 'you read the same things over 'em' and instead of sovereigns get sixpences!'
Mr Sownds the beadle is more liberal than Mrs Miff - but then he is not a pew-opener. 'It must be done, Ma'am,' he says. 'We must marry 'em. We must have our national schools to walk at the head of, and we must have our standing armies. We must marry 'em, Ma'am,' says Mr Sownds, 'and keep the country going.'
Mr Sownds is sitting on the steps and Mrs Miff is dusting in the church, when a young couple, plainly dressed, come in. The mortified bonnet of Mrs Miff is sharply turned towards them, for she espies in this early visit indications of a runaway match. But they don't want to be married - 'Only,' says the gentleman, 'to walk round the church.' And as he slips a genteel compliment into the palm of Mrs Miff, her vinegary face relaxes, and her mortified bonnet and her spare dry figure dip and crackle.
Mrs Miff resumes her dusting and plumps up her cushions - for the yellow-faced old gentleman is reported to have tender knees - but keeps her glazed, pew-opening eye on the young couple who are walking round the church. 'Ahem,' coughs Mrs Miff whose cough is drier than the hay in any hassock in her charge, 'you'll come to us one of these mornings, my dears, unless I'm much mistaken!'
They are looking at a tablet on the wall, erected to the memory of someone dead. They are a long way off from Mrs Miff, but Mrs Miff can see with half an eye how she is leaning on his arm, and how his head is bent down over her. 'Well, well,' says Mrs Miff, 'you might do worse. For you're a tidy pair!'
There is nothing personal in Mrs Miff's remark. She merely speaks of stock-in-trade. She is hardly more curious in couples than in coffins. She is such a spare, straight, dry old lady - such a pew of a woman - that you should find as many individual sympathies in a chip. Mr Sownds, now, who is fleshy, and has scarlet in his coat, is of a different temperament. He says, as they stand upon the steps watching the young couple away, that she has a pretty figure, hasn't she, and as well as he could see (for she held her head down coming out), an uncommon pretty face. 'Altogether, Mrs Miff,' says Mr Sownds with a relish, 'she is what you may call a rose-bud.'
Mrs Miff assents with a spare nod of her mortified bonnet; but approves of this so little, that she inwardly resolves she wouldn't be the wife of Mr Sownds for any money he could give her, Beadle as he is.
And what are the young couple saying as they leave the church, and go out at the gate?
'Dear Walter, thank you! I can go away, now, happy.'
'And when we come back, Florence, we will come and see his grave again.'
Florence lifts her eyes, so bright with tears, to his kind face; and clasps her disengaged hand on that other modest little hand which clasps his arm.
'It is very early, Walter, and the streets are almost empty yet. Let us walk.'
'But you will be so tired, my love.'
'Oh no! I was very tired the first time that we ever walked together, but I shall not be so to-day.' And thus - not much changed - she, as innocent and earnest-hearted - he, as frank, as hopeful, and more proud of her - Florence and Walter, on their bridal morning, walk through the streets together.
Not even in that childish walk of long ago, were they so far removed from all the world about them as to-day. The childish feet of long ago, did not tread such enchanted ground as theirs do now. The confidence and love of children may be given many times, and will spring up in many places; but the woman's heart of Florence, with its undivided treasure, can be yielded only once, and under slight or change, can only droop and die.
They take the streets that are the quietest, and do not go near that in which her old home stands. It is a fair, warm summer morning, and the sun shines on them, as they walk towards the darkening mist that overspreads the City. Riches are uncovering in shops; jewels, gold, and silver flash in the goldsmith's sunny windows; and great houses cast a stately shade upon them as they pass. But through the light, and through the shade, they go on lovingly together, lost to everything around; thinking of no other riches, and no prouder home, than they have now in one another.
Gradually they come into the darker, narrower streets, where the sun, now yellow, and now red, is seen through the mist, only at street corners, and in small open spaces where there is a tree, or one of the innumerable churches, or a paved way and a flight of steps, or a curious little patch of garden, or a burying-ground, where the few tombs and tombstones are almost black. Lovingly and trustfully, through all the narrow yards and alleys and the shady streets, Florence goes, clinging to his arm, to be his wife.
Her heart beats quicker now, for Walter tells her that their church is very near. They pass a few great stacks of warehouses, with waggons at the doors, and busy carmen stopping up the way - but Florence does not see or hear them - and then the air is quiet, and the day is darkened, and she is trembling in a church which has a strange smell like a cellar.
The shabby little old man, ringer of the disappointed bell, is standing in the porch, and has put his hat in the font - for he is quite at home there, being sexton. He ushers them into an old brown, panelled, dusty vestry, like a corner-cupboard with the shelves taken out; where the wormy registers diffuse a smell like faded snuff, which has set the tearful Nipper sneezing.
Youthful, and how beautiful, the young bride looks, in this old dusty place, with no kindred object near her but her husband. There is a dusty old clerk, who keeps a sort of evaporated news shop underneath an archway opposite, behind a perfect fortification of posts. There is a dusty old pew-opener who only keeps herself, and finds that quite enough to do. There is a dusty old beadle (these are Mr Toots's beadle and pew-opener of last Sunday), who has something to do with a Worshipful Company who have got a Hall in the next yard, with a stained-glass window in it that no mortal ever saw. There are dusty wooden ledges and cornices poked in and out over the altar, and over the screen and round the gallery, and over the inscription about what the Master and Wardens of the Worshipful Company did in one thousand six hundred and ninety-four. There are dusty old sounding-boards over the pulpit and reading-desk, looking like lids to be let down on the officiating ministers in case of their giving offence. There is every possible provision for the accommodation of dust, except in the churchyard, where the facilities in that respect are very limited. The Captain, Uncle Sol, and Mr Toots are come; the clergyman is putting on his surplice in the vestry, while the clerk walks round him, blowing the dust off it; and the bride and bridegroom stand before the altar. There is no bridesmaid, unless Susan Nipper is one; and no better father than Captain Cuttle. A man with a wooden leg, chewing a faint apple and carrying a blue bag in has hand, looks in to see what is going on; but finding it nothing entertaining, stumps off again, and pegs his way among the echoes out of doors.
No gracious ray of light is seen to fall on Florence, kneeling at the altar with her timid head bowed down. The morning luminary is built out, and don't shine there. There is a meagre tree outside, where the sparrows are chirping a little; and there is a blackbird in an eyelet-hole of sun in a dyer's garret, over against the window, who whistles loudly whilst the service is performing; and there is the man with the wooden leg stumping away. The amens of the dusty clerk appear, like Macbeth's, to stick in his throat a little'; but Captain Cuttle helps him out, and does it with so much goodwill that he interpolates three entirely new responses of that word, never introduced into the service before.
They are married, and have signed their names in one of the old sneezy registers, and the clergyman's surplice is restored to the dust, and the clergymam is gone home. In a dark corner of the dark church, Florence has turned to Susan Nipper, and is weeping in her arms. Mr Toots's eyes are red. The Captain lubricates his nose. Uncle Sol has pulled down his spectacles from his forehead, and walked out to the door.
'God bless you, Susan; dearest Susan! If you ever can bear witness to the love I have for Walter, and the reason that I have to love him, do it for his sake. Good-bye! Good-bye!'
They have thought it better not to go back to the Midshipman, but to part so; a coach is waiting for them, near at hand.
Miss Nipper cannot speak; she only sobs and chokes, and hugs her mistress. Mr Toots advances, urges her to cheer up, and takes charge of her. Florence gives him her hand - gives him, in the fulness of her heart, her lips - kisses Uncle Sol, and Captain Cuttle, and is borne away by her young husband.
But Susan cannot bear that Florence should go away with a mournful recollection of her. She had meant to be so different, that she reproaches herself bitterly. Intent on making one last effort to redeem her character, she breaks from Mr Toots and runs away to find the coach, and show a parting smile. The Captain, divining her object, sets off after her; for he feels it his duty also to dismiss them with a cheer, if possible. Uncle Sol and Mr Toots are left behind together, outside the church, to wait for them.
The coach is gone, but the street is steep, and narrow, and blocked up, and Susan can see it at a stand-still in the distance, she is sure. Captain Cuttle follows her as she flies down the hill, and waves his glazed hat as a general signal, which may attract the right coach and which may not.
Susan outstrips the Captain, and comes up with it. She looks in at the window, sees Walter, with the gentle face beside him, and claps her hands and screams:
'Miss Floy, my darling! look at me! We are all so happy now, dear! One more good-bye, my precious, one more!'
How Susan does it, she don't know, but she reaches to the window, kisses her, and has her arms about her neck, in a moment.
We are all so happy now, my dear Miss Floy!' says Susan, with a suspicious catching in her breath. 'You, you won't be angry with me now. Now will you?'
'Angry, Susan!'
'No, no; I am sure you won't. I say you won't, my pet, my dearest!' exclaims Susan; 'and here's the Captain too - your friend the Captain, you know - to say good-bye once more!'
'Hooroar, my Heart's Delight!' vociferates the Captain, with a countenance of strong emotion. 'Hooroar, Wal'r my lad. Hooroar! Hooroar!'
What with the young husband at one window, and the young wife at the other; the Captain hanging on at this door, and Susan Nipper holding fast by that; the coach obliged to go on whether it will or no, and all the other carts and coaches turbulent because it hesitates; there never was so much confusion on four wheels. But Susan Nipper gallantly maintains her point. She keeps a smiling face upon her mistress, smiling through her tears, until the last. Even when she is left behind, the Captain continues to appear and disappear at the door, crying 'Hooroar, my lad! Hooroar, my Heart's Delight!' with his shirt-collar in a violent state of agitation, until it is hopeless to attempt to keep up with the coach any longer. Finally, when the coach is gone, Susan Nipper, being rejoined by the Captain, falls into a state of insensibility, and is taken into a baker's shop to recover.
Uncle Sol and Mr Toots wait patiently in the churchyard, sitting on the coping-stone of the railings, until Captain Cuttle and Susan come back, Neither being at all desirous to speak, or to be spoken to, they are excellent company, and quite satisfied. When they all arrive again at the little Midshipman, and sit down to breakfast, nobody can touch a morsel. Captain Cuttle makes a feint of being voracious about toast, but gives it up as a swindle. Mr Toots says, after breakfast, he will come back in the evening; and goes wandering about the town all day, with a vague sensation upon him as if he hadn't been to bed for a fortnight.
There is a strange charm in the house, and in the room, in which they have been used to be together, and out of which so much is gone. It aggravates, and yet it soothes, the sorrow of the separation. Mr Toots tells Susan Nipper when he comes at night, that he hasn't been so wretched all day long, and yet he likes it. He confides in Susan Nipper, being alone with her, and tells her what his feelings were when she gave him that candid opinion as to the probability of Miss Dombey's ever loving him. In the vein of confidence engendered by these common recollections, and their tears, Mr Toots proposes that they shall go out together, and buy something for supper. Miss Nipper assenting, they buy a good many little things; and, with the aid of Mrs Richards, set the supper out quite showily before the Captain and old Sol came home.
The Captain and old Sol have been on board the ship, and have established Di there, and have seen the chests put aboard. They have much to tell about the popularity of Walter, and the comforts he will have about him, and the quiet way in which it seems he has been working early and late, to make his cabin what the Captain calls 'a picter,' to surprise his little wife. 'A admiral's cabin, mind you,' says the Captain, 'ain't more trim.'
But one of the Captain's chief delights is, that he knows the big watch, and the sugar-tongs, and tea-spoons, are on board: and again and again he murmurs to himself, 'Ed'ard Cuttle, my lad, you never shaped a better course in your life than when you made that there little property over jintly. You see how the land bore, Ed'ard,' says the Captain, 'and it does you credit, my lad.'
The old Instrument-maker is more distraught and misty than he used to be, and takes the marriage and the parting very much to heart. But he is greatly comforted by having his old ally, Ned Cuttle, at his side; and he sits down to supper with a grateful and contented face.
'My boy has been preserved and thrives,' says old Sol Gills, rubbing his hands. 'What right have I to be otherwise than thankful and happy!'
The Captain, who has not yet taken his seat at the table, but who has been fidgeting about for some time, and now stands hesitating in his place, looks doubtfully at Mr Gills, and says:
'Sol! There's the last bottle of the old Madeira down below. Would you wish to have it up to-night, my boy, and drink to Wal'r and his wife?'
The Instrument-maker, looking wistfully at the Captain, puts his hand into the breast-pocket of his coffee-coloured coat, brings forth his pocket-book, and takes a letter out.
'To Mr Dombey,' says the old man. 'From Walter. To be sent in three weeks' time. I'll read it.'
'"Sir. I am married to your daughter. She is gone with me upon a distant voyage. To be devoted to her is to have no claim on her or you, but God knows that I am.
'"Why, loving her beyond all earthly things, I have yet, without remorse, united her to the uncertainties and dangers of my life, I will not say to you. You know why, and you are her father.
'"Do not reproach her. She has never reproached you.
'"I do not think or hope that you will ever forgive me. There is nothing I expect less. But if an hour should come when it will comfort you to believe that Florence has someone ever near her, the great charge of whose life is to cancel her remembrance of past sorrow, I solemnly assure you, you may, in that hour, rest in that belief."'
Solomon puts back the letter carefully in his pocket-book, and puts back his pocket-book in his coat.
'We won't drink the last bottle of the old Madeira yet, Ned,' says the old man thoughtfully. 'Not yet.
'Not yet,' assents the Captain. 'No. Not yet.'
Susan and Mr Toots are of the same opinion. After a silence they all sit down to supper, and drink to the young husband and wife in something else; and the last bottle of the old Madeira still remains among its dust and cobwebs, undisturbed.
A few days have elapsed, and a stately ship is out at sea, spreading its white wings to the favouring wind.
Upon the deck, image to the roughest man on board of something that is graceful, beautiful, and harmless - something that it is good and pleasant to have there, and that should make the voyage prosperous - is Florence. It is night, and she and Walter sit alone, watching the solemn path of light upon the sea between them and the moon.
At length she cannot see it plainly, for the tears that fill her eyes; and then she lays her head down on his breast, and puts her arms around his neck, saying, 'Oh Walter, dearest love, I am so happy!'
Her husband holds her to his heart, and they are very quiet, and the stately ship goes on serenely.
'As I hear the sea,' says Florence, 'and sit watching it, it brings so many days into my mind. It makes me think so much - '
'Of Paul, my love. I know it does.'
Of Paul and Walter. And the voices in the waves are always whispering to Florence, in their ceaseless murmuring, of love - of love, eternal and illimitable, not bounded by the confines of this world, or by the end of time, but ranging still, beyond the sea, beyond the sky, to the invisible country far away!
教区事务员桑兹先生和教堂领座人米福太太很早就到董贝先生结婚的那座华丽的教堂来,待在他们的工作岗位上了。这天上午有一位印度的黄脸的老先生要娶一位年轻的妻子,预料有六辆马车的客人要来参加婚礼。米福太太还听说,这位黄脸的老先生能够用钻石铺砌通到教堂的道路,而他几乎不会发觉他的财产少去了这样一笔数字。结婚的祝福仪式将是极为隆重的,——由副主教大师亲自主持,新娘将作为一个特别贵重的礼物,由警卫骑兵第三团特地派来的某个人送给男方主婚人。
米福太太这天早上对普通的人们比平日更不能容忍;在这个问题上她的意见向来是强烈的,因为这是与免费座位有关的。米福太太并不是研究政治经济学的(她认为这门科学是跟不信奉英国国教的人有关的,“跟浸礼教徒或韦斯利教派的教徒有关”,她说),可是她无论如何也不明白,为什么你们这些普通的人们也必须结婚。“讨厌!”米福太太说道,“您向他们念的东西跟向别人念的东西完全一样,可是从他们那里只能得到一些六便士的硬币,而得不到金镑!”
教区事务员桑兹先生比米福太太心胸宽大——不过要知道他不是个领座人。“事情还得办,夫人,”他说道,“我们还得让他们结婚。我们首先还得补充我们国民学校的学生,我们还得要有我们的常备军。我们还得让他们结婚,夫人,”桑兹先生说道,“这样才能使国家繁荣昌盛。”
桑兹先生坐在台阶上、米福太太在教堂里掸灰尘的时候,一对穿著朴素的年轻人走进教堂。米福太太的干瘪的帽子敏捷地转向他们,因为他们这样老早来到教堂,她从这一点看出这对人有从家里逃出来的迹象。可是他们并不想要结婚,“只是到教堂来转转,”——那位先生说道。由于他在米福太太的手掌里塞了慷慨的礼金,她那尖酸刻薄的脸孔就开朗起来了,她那干瘪的帽子和枯瘦的身形也向下低垂,行了个屈膝礼,并发出了窸窸窣窣的。
米福太太重新掸灰尘,并把坐垫敲打得蓬松一些——因为据说黄脸的老先生膝盖娇嫩——,但她那双没有光泽的、习惯于领座的眼睛并没有离开那对在教堂里走来走去的年轻人。“阿嗨,”米福太太咳嗽道,她的咳嗽比她管理的膝垫里的干草还要干,“你们不久有一天还会到我们这里来的,我这么说没错吧,我亲爱的。”
他们在看镶嵌在墙上的一块纪念某个死者的石碑。他们离米福太太很远,但是米福太太却能用半只眼睛看到她怎样靠在他的胳膊上,他的头怎样低垂到她的头上。“唔,唔,”米福太太说道,“你们可能做更荒唐的事情,因为你们是很巧妙的一对!”
在米福太太的话中没有吐露她个人的感情。她对成双结对的男女几乎并不比对棺材更感兴趣。她是一位消瘦的、笔直的、干枯的老太太——不像个女人,而像是一张教堂里的条凳式座位——,从她那里找到的同情就跟从木片中找到的一样多。但是肥头胖耳、穿着深红色饰边礼服的桑兹先生却是另一种性格的人。当他们站在台阶上目送着这一对年轻人离去的时候,他说,“这姑娘的身材优美,是不是?”,而且就他所能看到的来说(因为她走出教堂的时候低着头),她的面貌也非常漂亮。“总的来说,米福太太,”桑兹先生津津有味地说道,“您可以管她叫做一个玫瑰骨朵。”
米福太太戴着干瘪帽子的头微微地点了点,丝毫也不赞成这些话;桑兹先生虽然是个教区事务员,但她心里打定主意,不论他给她多少钱,她也决不做他的妻子。
这一对年轻人走出教堂,在大门口向外走去的时候,说了些什么呢?
“亲爱的沃尔特,谢谢你!现在我可以快乐地离开了。”
“我们回来的时候还可以再来看看他的坟墓,弗洛伦斯。”
弗洛伦斯抬起含着泪水、闪闪发亮的眼睛,看着他的亲切的脸。她把空着一只手紧握着另一只紧挽着他胳膊的手。
“现在很早,沃尔特,街上几乎还没有人。我们走着去吧。”
“可是您会很累的,我亲爱的。”
“不不!我们第一次一起走的时候我是很累的,但是今天我不会累。”
就这样,弗洛伦斯和沃尔特在他们结婚的这天早上,一起在街道上走着;跟过去没有很大的变化——她,仍旧那样的天真无邪,真心诚意;他,仍旧那样心胸坦率、朝气蓬勃,可是却更因为她而感到自豪了。
甚至在好多年以前的孩子的步行中,他们也不曾像今天这样远离周围整个世界。好多年以前孩子的脚步也不曾像他们现在的脚步这样踩着如此迷人的土地。孩子的信任与爱可以给出许多次,并会在许多地方生长起来,可是弗洛伦斯的女性的心和它所珍藏着的不可分割的爱却只能给出一次,如果遭到冷落与不忠的话,那么它就只能萎靡不振,然后死去。
他们选择了最安静的街道,并且不是走近她老家所在的街道。这是个睛朗的、温暖的夏天的早晨;当他们朝着笼罩着伦敦城的阴沉沉的雾走去的时候,太阳照耀着他们。宝贵的货物在商店中陈列着;宝石、金、银在首饰商的阳光充足的窗子中闪耀着;当他们走过的时候,高大的房屋在他们身上投下了庄严的阴影。可是他们在阳光中、在阴影中相亲相爱地一起向前走去,看不见周围的一切;除了他们在彼此身上找到的财富之外,他们没有想到任何其他财富;除了他们在彼此身上找到的家之外,他们没有想到其他更值得自豪的家。
他们渐渐地走进了比较阴暗、比较狭窄的街道;在这些街道里,只有在那些街道角落里和那些小片敞开的地方才能通过薄雾看到时而黄色、时而红色的太阳;在那些小片敞开的地方,或者有株树,或者有一座教堂,或者有一条铺砌的道路和一座台阶,或者有一小片意趣奇妙的花园,或者有一片墓地,墓地上寥寥无几的坟墓和墓碑几乎已发黑了。弗洛伦斯相亲相爱地、信任地、紧紧挽着他的胳膊,穿过所有狭窄的围场与胡同以及阴暗的街道,向前走去,去成为他的妻子。
她的心现在跳动得更快了,困为沃尔特告诉她,他们的教堂离这里很近了。他们走过了几个很大的仓库,仓库门口停着一些四轮运货马车,忙碌的搬运工人堵塞了道路,可是弗洛伦斯没有看到他们,也没有听到他们说话;接着气氛安静下来了,白天的光线变得阴暗了,现在弗洛伦斯是在一座教堂里了,那里散发出像地窖里一样的气味。
那位衣衫褴褛、身材矮小的老头子,失望的钟声的敲打者,这时正站在门廊里,他的帽子就放在洗礼盘中——因为他是教堂司事,在这里就像在家中一样毫无拘束。他把他们领进一个老旧的、褐色的、镶嵌了嵌板的、积满灰尘的法衣室;它像是一个摆在角落里的、已经取出格板的碗柜;室内被虫蛀了的登记簿散发出一股像鼻烟的气味,它使眼泪汪汪的尼珀直打喷嚏。
年轻的新娘在这老旧的、积满灰尘的地方看去是多么富有朝气、多么美丽,在她身旁除了她的丈夫之外,没有别的亲属。这里有一位满身灰尘的年老的教会文书,他在教堂对面由柱子构成的加固工事的拱道的下面开设了一个出卖过时消息之类的店铺。这里有一位满身灰尘的年老的教堂领座人,她只供养她自己,并觉得这就够她操心费神的。这里有一位满身灰尘的年老的教区事务员(这位教区事务员和上面说到的那位教堂领座人就是图茨先生上星期天看到的),他和一个虔敬社有些关系;这个虔敬社在邻近的院子里有一个祈祷厅,祈祷厅里有一个凡人不容易见到过的彩色玻璃窗。这里有积满灰尘的木头壁架和上楣,它们长短不齐地摆放在圣坛上面、围屏上面、边座周围以及虔敬社社长与监察人1694年大事记的碑文上面。这里有积满灰尘的回声板,装在布道坛和读经台上面,看去就像盖子一样,如果教士在执行祈祷仪式时侮辱了教堂会众的话,那么就可以把它拉下来,盖在这些教士的头上。这里到处都有积聚灰尘的各种可能的装置,只有在教堂的墓地是例外,那里这方面的设施是很有限的。
船长、所尔舅舅和图茨先生来了。教士正在法衣室里穿上宽大的白色法衣,教堂文书则在他周围走来走去,吹去法衣上的灰尘;新郎和新娘站在圣坛前面。除非把苏珊•尼珀当做女嫔相,否则就没有女嫔相了;至于代理主婚人,那么没有谁能比卡特尔船长更合适的了。一位装了一条木腿的人,嘴里嚼着一只烂苹果,手里提着一只蓝色的袋子,到教堂里来看看正在进行什么事情,但是发现没有什么有趣的事,就又一拐一拐地走开了,他那假腿在门外一阵阵的回声中向前走着。
弗洛伦斯羞怯地低垂着头,跪在圣坛前面,没有一缕仁慈的光线照在她的身上。上午的太阳被房屋遮蔽了,没有照射到那里。门外有一株枯槁的树,树上有几只麻雀在啁啾几声;在窗子对面,在一位染色工人的顶楼里,在太阳能偷偷照进去的一个小孔中有一只画眉,当结婚仪式在进行的时候,它大声地吱吱叫着。还有那位装着木腿的人正迈着沉重的步子向别处走去。满身灰尘的教堂文书说“阿门”时,就像麦克佩斯一样,稍稍梗塞在喉咙中①;但是卡特尔船长帮助他说出来,他怀着满腔热情说它,在仪式中过去从来不说“阿门”的地方,他也插进去说了三次。
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①莎士比亚悲剧《麦克佩斯》第二幕第二场:
麦克佩斯:一个喊,“上帝保佑我们!”一个喊,“阿门!”好像他们看见我高举这一双杀人的血手似的。听着他们惊慌的口气,当他们说过了“上帝保佑我们”以后,我想要说“阿门”却怎么也说不出来。
他们结婚了,在使人打喷嚏的旧登记簿当中的一本上签了名;教士的宽大的白色法衣又收藏到积满灰尘的地方;教士则回家了。在黑暗的教堂的一个黑暗的角落里,弗洛伦斯转过身,走到苏珊•尼珀身边,在她的怀抱里哭泣着。图茨先生的眼睛红了。船长把鼻子擦得亮亮的。所尔舅舅把眼镜从前额上拉下来,走到门口。
“上帝保佑你,苏珊;我最亲爱的苏珊!如果有一天你能替我对沃尔特的爱情和我必须爱他的理由作见证人的话,那么请为了他的缘故这样做吧。再见!再见!”
他们决定不回到海军军官候补生那里,而在这里离别。马车在附近等着他们。
尼珀姑娘说不出话;她只是抽抽嗒嗒地哭着,气都喘不过来,同时紧紧地拥抱着她的女主人。图茨先生走到她跟前,安慰她,劝她高兴起来,并照看着她。弗洛伦斯向他伸出手来,真诚地向他凑近嘴唇,并且吻了所尔舅舅和卡特尔船长,然后被她年轻的丈夫带走了。
可是苏珊不容许弗洛伦斯心里对她留下一个悲伤的回忆。她原先本想表现得和现在完全不同,所以她痛苦地责备着自己。她决定作最后一次尝试,来恢复她的性格,因此就离开图茨先生,跑去找马车,以便露出笑脸告别。船长猜出她的目的,就跟随着她;因为他也觉得,如果可能的话,他有责任用欢呼来送别他们。所尔舅舅和图茨先生留在后面,在教堂前面等待着他们。
马车已经启程了,但是街道陡峭、狭窄、堵塞,苏珊毫不怀疑,她看到马车正停在远处的一个地方。当她沿着小山往下飞跑过去的时候,卡特尔船长跟随在她的后面,挥动着上了光的帽子作为信号;它可能会引起那辆马车的注意,也可能不会引起它的注意。
苏珊把船长抛在后面,赶上了马车。她往车窗里看,看见了沃尔特和他身旁的温柔的脸孔,就拍拍手,尖声叫道:
“弗洛伊小姐,我亲爱的!请看看我吧!现在我们全都这么快乐,亲爱的!再说一次再见吧,我亲爱的,再说一次再见吧!”
苏珊怎么做到了这一点,她自己也不知道,不过她在片刻间就把头探进窗子,吻了弗洛伦斯,并用手搂住她的脖子。
“现在我们全都这么——这么快乐,我亲爱的弗洛伊小姐!”苏珊说道,她的可疑地中断了一下。“现在您,您不会生我的气了吧。不会了,是不是?”
“生气,苏珊!”
“不会了,不会了;我相信您不会了。我说您不会了,我的宝贝,我最亲爱的!”苏珊高声喊道,“船长也在这里——您的朋友船长——您知道——他也来跟你们再一次告别!”
“万岁,我的心的喜悦!”船长脸上露出强烈的激动的表情,并提高嗓门,喊道,“万岁!我的孩子沃尔。万岁!万岁!”
年轻的丈夫从一个窗子中探出身子,年轻的妻子从另一个窗子中探出身子;船长悬挂在这个车门上,苏珊•尼珀紧紧抓住另一个车门;马车不管是愿意还是不愿意,不得不继续向前驶行;所有其他的二轮运货马车与轿式马车都由于它的停顿而怨声鼎沸;在四只轮子上面从来没有发生过这样的混乱。可是苏珊•尼珀还是勇敢地把她的决心坚持到底。她一直向她的女主人露出笑脸,流着眼泪笑着,直到最后。甚至当她被马车抛在后面的时候,船长还时而出现在车门口,时而又在车门口消失,喊道,“万岁,我的孩子!万岁,我的心的喜悦!”他的衬衫领子则在激烈地飘动着,直到后来,他再没有希望赶上马车了,他才停止追赶。当马车离开之后,船长又跟苏珊•尼珀走在一起的时候,她人事不省地昏了过去,于是船长就把她送到一家烤面包的店铺里,让她苏醒过来。
所尔舅舅和图茨先生在教堂院子里坐在栏杆的盖顶石上,耐心地等着卡特尔船长和苏珊回来。谁也不想讲话,谁也不想听别人讲话,他们俩真是极好的伙伴,彼此都很满意。当他们四人又全都回到海军军官候补生家里,坐下来吃早饭的时候,没有一个人能咽得下一口。卡特尔船长假装出对烤面包片很贪吃的样子,但终究还是放弃了这个骗人的花招。图茨先生在早餐之后说,他将在晚上回来;他整天都在城里闲逛,心中模糊地感到,仿佛他已有两个星期没有睡过觉似的。
他们过去惯常待在一起、如今却变得空荡荡的住宅与房间有着一种奇怪的魔力。它加深了、然而却又抚慰了离别的悲哀。图茨先生夜间回来的时候告诉苏珊•尼珀,他从来不曾像今天这样感到忧郁的,然而他却喜欢这样。当他们单独在一起的时候,他向苏珊•尼珀吐露,当她过去坦率地说出董贝小姐是否有一天可能爱他的看法的时候,他当时的心情是怎样的。
怀着这些共同回忆和一起流泪所产生的相互信任的心情,图茨先生建议他们一起出去买些晚餐吃的东西。尼珀姑娘同意,他们就买回好多美味的小食品,在理查兹大嫂的帮助下,开出了一顿相当丰美的晚餐。
船长和老所尔到船上去过了;他们把戴送到那里,并看着箱子装上船。他们有很多话好谈:沃尔特怎样受到大家的喜爱;他怎样把船上收拾得舒舒适适;他怎样一直在悄悄地忙乎着,把他的船舱布置得就像船长所说,像“图画”一样,让他的小妻子看了吃惊。“要知道,”船长说道,“海军上将的船舱也不会比那更漂亮。”
但是最使船长高兴的事情当中的一件事,就是他知道,那只大表,还有方糖钳子和茶匙都已放到船上了。他一次又一次低声地自言自语道,“爱德华•卡特尔,我的孩子,当你把那包小小的财产转交给他们共同使用时,你是选择了你这一生中最好的一条航线啊!爱德华,你知道哪里是岸,这给你增光,我的孩子。”船长说道。
年老的仪器制造商比平时更心神错乱,眼睛更多泪;结婚与离别使他很伤心。但是有他的老朋友内德•卡特尔在身边陪伴他,使他感到极大的安慰;他坐下吃晚饭时,脸上的表情是感激和满足的。
“我的孩子安全无恙,茁壮成长,”老所尔•吉尔斯搓着手,说道,“我有什么权利不感谢与快乐呢!”
船长一直坐立不安,还没有在桌旁坐下来,这时迟疑不决地站在他的地方,怀疑地看着吉尔斯先生,说道:
“所尔!下面还有最后一瓶马德拉陈酒,今天夜里你是不是希望把它拿上来,为沃尔和他的妻子的健康干杯?”
仪器制造商若有所思地看着船长,把手伸进咖啡色上衣胸前的小袋中,掏出了一个小本子,从里面抽出一封信。
“沃尔特写给董贝先生的信,”老人说道,“要求在三星期内送到。我来念吧。”
“‘先生。我跟您的女儿结婚了。她已跟我出发进行一次远距离的航行。要对她忠诚就是对她或对您不提任何要求;但是上帝知道,我对她是忠诚的。
“‘我爱她胜过世间一切事物。为什么我毫不后悔地已把她跟我的变化无常、充满危险的生活联结在一起,我不想跟您说。您知道为什么,您是她的父亲。
“‘别责备她。她从来没有责备过您。
“‘我不认为,也不希望,您有一天会宽恕我。我丝毫也不指望这一点。如果将来有一个时候,您快慰地相信,在弗洛伦斯身边有一个人,他的生活的重大责任就是消除她对过去悲痛的回忆,如果这样一个时候来临的话,那么我将庄严地向您保证,那时候您将会相信这一点而安心。’”
所罗门把信小心地放回小本子里,又把小本子放回到上衣中。
“我们现在还不要喝那最后一瓶马德拉陈酒,内德,”老人沉思地说道,“现在还不喝。”
“现在还不喝,”船长同意道,“对,现在还不喝。”
苏珊与图茨先生也是同样的意见。他们沉默了一会儿之后全都坐下来吃晚饭,喝点儿别的东西来祝贺这对年轻夫妇的健康;那最后一瓶马德拉陈酒依旧搁在灰尘与蜘蛛网中间,没有受到打扰。
过了几天之后,一艘宏伟的船在大海上航行,迎着顺风,展开它的白色的翅膀。
弗洛伦斯在甲板上。在船上最粗野的人们看来,她是优雅、美丽与纯洁的化身。她的来到将给船上带来快乐,将使这次航行平安与吉利。这是夜间。她与沃尔特单独坐在那里,注视着他们与月亮之间的海上庄严的光带。
她终于不能清楚地看到它了,因为泪水涌满了她的眼睛;于是她把头俯伏在他的胸上,把胳膊搂着他的脖子,说道,“啊,沃尔特,我亲爱的,我是多么幸福!”
她的丈夫把她紧紧抱在心窝里,他们很安静;宏伟的船宁静地向前驶行。
“当我听着大海,坐在这里注视着它的时候,”弗洛伦斯说道,“以往的许多日子涌到了我的心头。它使我想到——”
“想到保罗,我亲爱的,我知道这点。”
想到保罗和沃尔特。海浪在它不断的哗哗的中,一直在向弗洛伦斯低声诉说着爱情——永恒的、无限的爱情;它越过了这个世界的边界,越过了时间的尽头,延伸到海洋之外,延伸到天空之外,一直延伸到遥远的看不见的国家!
慕若涵

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爱就像蓝天白云,晴空万里,突然暴风雨!
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Chapter 58
After a Lapse
The sea had ebbed and flowed, through a whole year. Through a whole year, the winds and clouds had come and gone; the ceaseless work of Time had been performed, in storm and sunshine. Through a whole year, the tides of human chance and change had set in their allotted courses. Through a whole year, the famous House of Dombey and Son had fought a fight for life, against cross accidents, doubtful rumours, unsuccessful ventures, unpropitious times, and most of all, against the infatuation of its head, who would not contract its enterprises by a hair's breadth, and would not listen to a word of warning that the ship he strained so hard against the storm, was weak, and could not bear it. The year was out, and the great House was down.
One summer afternoon; a year, wanting some odd days, after the marriage in the City church; there was a buzz and whisper upon 'Change of a great failure. A certain cold proud man, well known there, was not there, nor was he represented there. Next day it was noised abroad that Dombey and Son had stopped, and next night there was a List of Bankrupts published, headed by that name.
The world was very busy now, in sooth, and had a deal to say. It was an innocently credulous and a much ill-used world. It was a world in which there was 'no other sort of bankruptcy whatever. There were no conspicuous people in it, trading far and wide on rotten banks of religion, patriotism, virtue, honour. There was no amount worth mentioning of mere paper in circulation, on which anybody lived pretty handsomely, promising to pay great sums of goodness with no effects. There were no shortcomings anywhere, in anything but money. The world was very angry indeed; and the people especially, who, in a worse world, might have been supposed to be apt traders themselves in shows and pretences, were observed to be mightily indignant.
Here was a new inducement to dissipation, presented to that sport of circumstances, Mr Perch the Messenger! It was apparently the fate of Mr Perch to be always waking up, and finding himself famous. He had but yesterday, as one might say, subsided into private life from the celebrity of the elopement and the events that followed it; and now he was made a more important man than ever, by the bankruptcy. Gliding from his bracket in the outer office where he now sat, watching the strange faces of accountants and others, who quickly superseded nearly all the old clerks, Mr Perch had but to show himself in the court outside, or, at farthest, in the bar of the King's Arms, to be asked a multitude of questions, almost certain to include that interesting question, what would he take to drink? Then would Mr Perch descant upon the hours of acute uneasiness he and Mrs Perch had suffered out at Balls Pond, when they first suspected 'things was going wrong.' Then would Mr Perch relate to gaping listeners, in a low voice, as if the corpse of the deceased House were lying unburied in the next room, how Mrs Perch had first come to surmise that things was going wrong by hearing him (Perch) moaning in his sleep, 'twelve and ninepence in the pound, twelve and ninepence in the pound!' Which act of somnambulism he supposed to have originated in the impression made upon him by the change in Mr Dombey's face. Then would he inform them how he had once said, 'Might I make so bold as ask, Sir, are you unhappy in your mind?' and how Mr Dombey had replied, 'My faithful Perch - but no, it cannot be!' and with that had struck his hand upon his forehead, and said, 'Leave me, Perch!' Then, in short, would Mr Perch, a victim to his position, tell all manner of lies; affecting himself to tears by those that were of a moving nature, and really believing that the inventions of yesterday had, on repetition, a sort of truth about them to-day.
Mr Perch always closed these conferences by meekly remarking, That, of course, whatever his suspicions might have been (as if he had ever had any!) it wasn't for him to betray his trust, was it? Which sentiment (there never being any creditors present) was received as doing great honour to his feelings. Thus, he generally brought away a soothed conscience and left an agreeable impression behind him, when he returned to his bracket: again to sit watching the strange faces of the accountants and others, making so free with the great mysteries, the Books; or now and then to go on tiptoe into Mr Dombey's empty room, and stir the fire; or to take an airing at the door, and have a little more doleful chat with any straggler whom he knew; or to propitiate, with various small attentions, the head accountant: from whom Mr Perch had expectations of a messengership in a Fire Office, when the affairs of the House should be wound up.
To Major Bagstock, the bankruptcy was quite a calamity. The Major was not a sympathetic character - his attention being wholly concentrated on J. B. - nor was he a man subject to lively emotions, except in the physical regards of gasping and choking. But he had so paraded his friend Dombey at the club; had so flourished him at the heads of the members in general, and so put them down by continual assertion of his riches; that the club, being but human, was delighted to retort upon the Major, by asking him, with a show of great concern, whether this tremendous smash had been at all expected, and how his friend Dombey bore it. To such questions, the Major, waxing very purple, would reply that it was a bad world, Sir, altogether; that Joey knew a thing or two, but had been done, Sir, done like an infant; that if you had foretold this, Sir, to J. Bagstock, when he went abroad with Dombey and was chasing that vagabond up and down France, J. Bagstock would have pooh-pooh'd you - would have pooh- pooh'd you, Sir, by the Lord! That Joe had been deceived, Sir, taken in, hoodwinked, blindfolded, but was broad awake again and staring; insomuch, Sir, that if Joe's father were to rise up from the grave to-morrow, he wouldn't trust the old blade with a penny piece, but would tell him that his son Josh was too old a soldier to be done again, Sir. That he was a suspicious, crabbed, cranky, used-up, J. B. infidel, Sir; and that if it were consistent with the dignity of a rough and tough old Major, of the old school, who had had the honour of being personally known to, and commended by, their late Royal Highnesses the Dukes of Kent and York, to retire to a tub and live in it, by Gad! Sir, he'd have a tub in Pall Mall to-morrow, to show his contempt for mankind!'
Of all this, and many variations of the same tune, the Major would deliver himself with so many apoplectic symptoms, such rollings of his head, and such violent growls of ill usage and resentment, that the younger members of the club surmised he had invested money in his friend Dombey's House, and lost it; though the older soldiers and deeper dogs, who knew Joe better, wouldn't hear of such a thing. The unfortunate Native, expressing no opinion, suffered dreadfully; not merely in his moral feelings, which were regularly fusilladed by the Major every hour in the day, and riddled through and through, but in his sensitiveness to bodily knocks and bumps, which was kept continually on the stretch. For six entire weeks after the bankruptcy, this miserable foreigner lived in a rainy season of boot-jacks and brushes.
Mrs Chick had three ideas upon the subject of the terrible reverse. The first was that she could not understand it. The second, that her brother had not made an effort. The third, that if she had been invited to dinner on the day of that first party, it never would have happened; and that she had said so, at the time.
Nobody's opinion stayed the misfortune, lightened it, or made it heavier. It was understood that the affairs of the House were to be wound up as they best could be; that Mr Dombey freely resigned everything he had, and asked for no favour from anyone. That any resumption of the business was out of the question, as he would listen to no friendly negotiation having that compromise in view; that he had relinquished every post of trust or distinction he had held, as a man respected among merchants; that he was dying, according to some; that he was going melancholy mad, according to others; that he was a broken man, according to all.
The clerks dispersed after holding a little dinner of condolence among themselves, which was enlivened by comic singing, and went off admirably. Some took places abroad, and some engaged in other Houses at home; some looked up relations in the country, for whom they suddenly remembered they had a particular affection; and some advertised for employment in the newspapers. Mr Perch alone remained of all the late establishment, sitting on his bracket looking at the accountants, or starting off it, to propitiate the head accountant, who was to get him into the Fire Office. The Counting House soon got to be dirty and neglected. The principal slipper and dogs' collar seller, at the corner of the court, would have doubted the propriety of throwing up his forefinger to the brim of his hat, any more, if Mr Dombey had appeared there now; and the ticket porter, with his hands under his white apron, moralised good sound morality about ambition, which (he observed) was not, in his opinion, made to rhyme to perdition, for nothing.
Mr Morfin, the hazel-eyed bachelor, with the hair and whiskers sprinkled with grey, was perhaps the only person within the atmosphere of the House - its head, of course, excepted - who was heartily and deeply affected by the disaster that had befallen it. He had treated Mr Dombey with due respect and deference through many years, but he had never disguised his natural character, or meanly truckled to him, or pampered his master passion for the advancement of his own purposes. He had, therefore, no self-disrespect to avenge; no long-tightened springs to release with a quick recoil. He worked early and late to unravel whatever was complicated or difficult in the records of the transactions of the House; was always in attendance to explain whatever required explanation; sat in his old room sometimes very late at night, studying points by his mastery of which he could spare Mr Dombey the pain of being personally referred to; and then would go home to Islington, and calm his mind by producing the most dismal and forlorn sounds out of his violoncello before going to bed.
He was solacing himself with this melodious grumbler one evening, and, having been much dispirited by the proceedings of the day, was scraping consolation out of its deepest notes, when his landlady (who was fortunately deaf, and had no other consciousness of these performances than a sensation of something rumbling in her bones) announced a lady.
'In mourning,' she said.
The violoncello stopped immediately; and the performer, laying it on the sofa with great tenderness and care, made a sign that the lady was to come in. He followed directly, and met Harriet Carker on the stair.
'Alone!' he said, 'and John here this morning! Is there anything the matter, my dear? But no,' he added, 'your face tells quite another story.'
'I am afraid it is a selfish revelation that you see there, then,' she answered.
'It is a very pleasant one,' said he; 'and, if selfish, a novelty too, worth seeing in you. But I don't believe that.'
He had placed a chair for her by this time, and sat down opposite; the violoncello lying snugly on the sofa between them.
'You will not be surprised at my coming alone, or at John's not having told you I was coming,' said Harriet; 'and you will believe that, when I tell you why I have come. May I do so now?'
'You can do nothing better.'
'You were not busy?'
He pointed to the violoncello lying on the sofa, and said 'I have been, all day. Here's my witness. I have been confiding all my cares to it. I wish I had none but my own to tell.'
'Is the House at an end?' said Harriet, earnestly.
'Completely at an end.'
'Will it never be resumed?'
'Never.'
The bright expression of her face was not overshadowed as her lips silently repeated the word. He seemed to observe this with some little involuntary surprise: and said again:
'Never. You remember what I told you. It has been, all along, impossible to convince him; impossible to reason with him; sometimes, impossible even to approach him. The worst has happened; and the House has fallen, never to be built up any more.'
'And Mr Dombey, is he personally ruined?'
'Ruined.'
'Will he have no private fortune left? Nothing?'
A certain eagerness in her voice, and something that was almost joyful in her look, seemed to surprise him more and more; to disappoint him too, and jar discordantly against his own emotions. He drummed with the fingers of one hand on the table, looking wistfully at her, and shaking his head, said, after a pause:
'The extent of Mr Dombey's resources is not accurately within my knowledge; but though they are doubtless very large, his obligations are enormous. He is a gentleman of high honour and integrity. Any man in his position could, and many a man in his position would, have saved himself, by making terms which would have very slightly, almost insensibly, increased the losses of those who had had dealings with him, and left him a remnant to live upon. But he is resolved on payment to the last farthing of his means. His own words are, that they will clear, or nearly clear, the House, and that no one can lose much. Ah, Miss Harriet, it would do us no harm to remember oftener than we do, that vices are sometimes only virtues carried to excess! His pride shows well in this.'
She heard him with little or no change in her expression, and with a divided attention that showed her to be busy with something in her own mind. When he was silent, she asked him hurriedly:
'Have you seen him lately?'
'No one sees him. When this crisis of his affairs renders it necessary for him to come out of his house, he comes out for the occasion, and again goes home, and shuts himself up, and will sea no one. He has written me a letter, acknowledging our past connexion in higher terms than it deserved, and parting from me. I am delicate of obtruding myself upon him now, never having had much intercourse with him in better times; but I have tried to do so. I have written, gone there, entreated. Quite in vain.'
He watched her, as in the hope that she would testify some greater concern than she had yet shown; and spoke gravely and feelingly, as if to impress her the more; but there was no change in her.
'Well, well, Miss Harriet,' he said, with a disappointed air, 'this is not to the purpose. You have not come here to hear this. Some other and pleasanter theme is in your mind. Let it be in mine, too, and we shall talk upon more equal terms. Come!'
'No, it is the same theme,' returned Harriet, with frank and quick surprise. 'Is it not likely that it should be? Is it not natural that John and I should have been thinking and speaking very much of late of these great changes? Mr Dombey, whom he served so many years - you know upon what terms - reduced, as you describe; and we quite rich!'
Good, true face, as that face of hers was, and pleasant as it had been to him, Mr Morfin, the hazel-eyed bachelor, since the first time he had ever looked upon it, it pleased him less at that moment, lighted with a ray of exultation, than it had ever pleased him before.
'I need not remind you,' said Harriet, casting down her eyes upon her black dress, 'through what means our circumstances changed. You have not forgotten that our brother James, upon that dreadful day, left no will, no relations but ourselves.'
The face was pleasanter to him now, though it was pale and melancholy, than it had been a moment since. He seemed to breathe more cheerily.
'You know,' she said, 'our history, the history of both my brothers, in connexion with the unfortunate, unhappy gentleman, of whom you have spoken so truly. You know how few our wants are - John's and mine - and what little use we have for money, after the life we have led together for so many years; and now that he is earning an income that is ample for us, through your kindness. You are not unprepared to hear what favour I have come to ask of you?'
'I hardly know. I was, a minute ago. Now, I think, I am not.'
'Of my dead brother I say nothing. If the dead know what we do - but you understand me. Of my living brother I could say much; but what need I say more, than that this act of duty, in which I have come to ask your indispensable assistance, is his own, and that he cannot rest until it is performed!'
She raised her eyes again; and the light of exultation in her face began to appear beautiful, in the observant eyes that watched her.
'Dear Sir,' she went on to say, 'it must be done very quietly and secretly. Your experience and knowledge will point out a way of doing it. Mr Dombey may, perhaps, be led to believe that it is something saved, unexpectedly, from the wreck of his fortunes; or that it is a voluntary tribute to his honourable and upright character, from some of those with whom he has had great dealings; or that it is some old lost debt repaid. There must be many ways of doing it. I know you will choose the best. The favour I have come to ask is, that you will do it for us in your own kind, generous, considerate manner. That you will never speak of it to John, whose chief happiness in this act of restitution is to do it secretly, unknown, and unapproved of: that only a very small part of the inheritance may be reserved to us, until Mr Dombey shall have possessed the interest of the rest for the remainder of his life; that you will keep our secret, faithfully - but that I am sure you will; and that, from this time, it may seldom be whispered, even between you and me, but may live in my thoughts only as a new reason for thankfulness to Heaven, and joy and pride in my brother.'
Such a look of exultation there may be on Angels' faces when the one repentant sinner enters Heaven, among ninety-nine just men. It was not dimmed or tarnished by the joyful tears that filled her eyes, but was the brighter for them.
'My dear Harriet,' said Mr Morfin, after a silence, 'I was not prepared for this. Do I understand you that you wish to make your own part in the inheritance available for your good purpose, as well as John's?'
'Oh, yes,' she returned 'When we have shared everything together for so long a time, and have had no care, hope, or purpose apart, could I bear to be excluded from my share in this? May I not urge a claim to be my brother's partner and companion to the last?'
'Heaven forbid that I should dispute it!' he replied.
'We may rely on your friendly help?' she said. 'I knew we might!'
'I should be a worse man than, - than I hope I am, or would willingly believe myself, if I could not give you that assurance from my heart and soul. You may, implicitly. Upon my honour, I will keep your secret. And if it should be found that Mr Dombey is so reduced as I fear he will be, acting on a determination that there seem to be no means of influencing, I will assist you to accomplish the design, on which you and John are jointly resolved.'
She gave him her hand, and thanked him with a cordial, happy face.
'Harriet,' he said, detaining it in his. 'To speak to you of the worth of any sacrifice that you can make now - above all, of any sacrifice of mere money - would be idle and presumptuous. To put before you any appeal to reconsider your purpose or to set narrow limits to it, would be, I feel, not less so. I have no right to mar the great end of a great history, by any obtrusion of my own weak self. I have every right to bend my head before what you confide to me, satisfied that it comes from a higher and better source of inspiration than my poor worldly knowledge. I will say only this: I am your faithful steward; and I would rather be so, and your chosen friend, than I would be anybody in the world, except yourself.'
She thanked him again, cordially, and wished him good-night. 'Are you going home?' he said. 'Let me go with you.'
'Not to-night. I am not going home now; I have a visit to make alone. Will you come to-morrow?'
'Well, well,' said he, 'I'll come to-morrow. In the meantime, I'll think of this, and how we can best proceed. And perhaps I'll think of it, dear Harriet, and - and - think of me a little in connexion with it.'
He handed her down to a coach she had in waiting at the door; and if his landlady had not been deaf, she would have heard him muttering as he went back upstairs, when the coach had driven off, that we were creatures of habit, and it was a sorrowful habit to be an old bachelor.
The violoncello lying on the sofa between the two chairs, he took it up, without putting away the vacant chair, and sat droning on it, and slowly shaking his head at the vacant chair, for a long, long time. The expression he communicated to the instrument at first, though monstrously pathetic and bland, was nothing to the expression he communicated to his own face, and bestowed upon the empty chair: which was so sincere, that he was obliged to have recourse to Captain Cuttle's remedy more than once, and to rub his face with his sleeve. By degrees, however, the violoncello, in unison with his own frame of mind, glided melodiously into the Harmonious Blacksmith, which he played over and over again, until his ruddy and serene face gleamed like true metal on the anvil of a veritable blacksmith. In fine, the violoncello and the empty chair were the companions of his bachelorhood until nearly midnight; and when he took his supper, the violoncello set up on end in the sofa corner, big with the latent harmony of a whole foundry full of harmonious blacksmiths, seemed to ogle the empty chair out of its crooked eyes, with unutterable intelligence.
When Harriet left the house, the driver of her hired coach, taking a course that was evidently no new one to him, went in and out by bye-ways, through that part of the suburbs, until he arrived at some open ground, where there were a few quiet little old houses standing among gardens. At the garden-gate of one of these he stopped, and Harriet alighted.
Her gentle ringing at the bell was responded to by a dolorous-looking woman, of light complexion, with raised eyebrows, and head drooping on one side, who curtseyed at sight of her, and conducted her across the garden to the house.
'How is your patient, nurse, to-night?' said Harriet.
'In a poor way, Miss, I am afraid. Oh how she do remind me, sometimes, of my Uncle's Betsey Jane!' returned the woman of the light complexion, in a sort of doleful rapture.
'In what respect?' asked Harriet.
'Miss, in all respects,' replied the other, 'except that she's grown up, and Betsey Jane, when at death's door, was but a child.'
'But you have told me she recovered,' observed Harriet mildly; 'so there is the more reason for hope, Mrs Wickam.'
'Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!' said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. 'My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!'
'You should try to be more cheerful,' remarked Harriet.
'Thank you, Miss, I'm sure,' said Mrs Wickam grimly. 'If I was so inclined, the loneliness of this situation - you'll excuse my speaking so free - would put it out of my power, in four and twenty hours; but I ain't at all. I'd rather not. The little spirits that I ever had, I was bereaved of at Brighton some few years ago, and I think I feel myself the better for it.'
In truth, this was the very Mrs Wickam who had superseded Mrs Richards as the nurse of little Paul, and who considered herself to have gained the loss in question, under the roof of the amiable Pipchin. The excellent and thoughtful old system, hallowed by long prescription, which has usually picked out from the rest of mankind the most dreary and uncomfortable people that could possibly be laid hold of, to act as instructors of youth, finger-posts to the virtues, matrons, monitors, attendants on sick beds, and the like, had established Mrs Wickam in very good business as a nurse, and had led to her serious qualities being particularly commended by an admiring and numerous connexion.
Mrs Wickam, with her eyebrows elevated, and her head on one side, lighted the way upstairs to a clean, neat chamber, opening on another chamber dimly lighted, where there was a bed. In the first room, an old woman sat mechanically staring out at the open window, on the darkness. In the second, stretched upon the bed, lay the shadow of a figure that had spurned the wind and rain, one wintry night; hardly to be recognised now, but by the long black hair that showed so very black against the colourless face, and all the white things about it.
Oh, the strong eyes, and the weak frame! The eyes that turned so eagerly and brightly to the door when Harriet came in; the feeble head that could not raise itself, and moved so slowly round upon its pillow!
'Alice!' said the visitor's mild voice, 'am I late to-night?'
'You always seem late, but are always early.'
Harriet had sat down by the bedside now, and put her hand upon the thin hand lying there.
'You are better?'
Mrs Wickam, standing at the foot of the bed, like a disconsolate spectre, most decidedly and forcibly shook her head to negative this position.
'It matters very little!' said Alice, with a faint smile. 'Better or worse to-day, is but a day's difference - perhaps not so much.'
Mrs Wickam, as a serious character, expressed her approval with a groan; and having made some cold dabs at the bottom of the bedclothes, as feeling for the patient's feet and expecting to find them stony; went clinking among the medicine bottles on the table, as who should say, 'while we are here, let us repeat the mixture as before.'
'No,' said Alice, whispering to her visitor, 'evil courses, and remorse, travel, want, and weather, storm within, and storm without, have worn my life away. It will not last much longer.
She drew the hand up as she spoke, and laid her face against it.
'I lie here, sometimes, thinking I should like to live until I had had a little time to show you how grateful I could be! It is a weakness, and soon passes. Better for you as it is. Better for me!'
How different her hold upon the hand, from what it had been when she took it by the fireside on the bleak winter evening! Scorn, rage, defiance, recklessness, look here! This is the end.
Mrs Wickam having clinked sufficiently among the bottles, now produced the mixture. Mrs Wickam looked hard at her patient in the act of drinking, screwed her mouth up tight, her eyebrows also, and shook her head, expressing that tortures shouldn't make her say it was a hopeless case. Mrs Wickam then sprinkled a little cooling-stuff about the room, with the air of a female grave-digger, who was strewing ashes on ashes, dust on dust - for she was a serious character - and withdrew to partake of certain funeral baked meats downstairs.
'How long is it,' asked Alice, 'since I went to you and told you what I had done, and when you were advised it was too late for anyone to follow?'
'It is a year and more,' said Harriet.
'A year and more,' said Alice, thoughtfully intent upon her face. 'Months upon months since you brought me here!'
Harriet answered 'Yes.'
'Brought me here, by force of gentleness and kindness. Me!' said Alice, shrinking with her face behind her hand, 'and made me human by woman's looks and words, and angel's deeds!'
Harriet bending over her, composed and soothed her. By and bye, Alice lying as before, with the hand against her face, asked to have her mother called.
Harriet called to her more than once, but the old woman was so absorbed looking out at the open window on the darkness, that she did not hear. It was not until Harriet went to her and touched her, that she rose up, and came.
'Mother,' said Alice, taking the hand again, and fixing her lustrous eyes lovingly upon her visitor, while she merely addressed a motion of her finger to the old woman, 'tell her what you know.'
'To-night, my deary?'
'Ay, mother,' answered Alice, faintly and solemnly, 'to-night!'
The old woman, whose wits appeared disorderly by alarm, remorse, or grief, came creeping along the side of the bed, opposite to that on which Harriet sat; and kneeling down, so as to bring her withered face upon a level with the coverlet, and stretching out her hand, so as to touch her daughter's arm, began:
'My handsome gal - '
Heaven, what a cry was that, with which she stopped there, gazing at the poor form lying on the bed!
'Changed, long ago, mother! Withered, long ago,' said Alice, without looking at her. 'Don't grieve for that now.
'My daughter,' faltered the old woman, 'my gal who'll soon get better, and shame 'em all with her good looks.'
Alice smiled mournfully at Harriet, and fondled her hand a little closer, but said nothing.
'Who'll soon get better, I say,' repeated the old woman, menacing the vacant air with her shrivelled fist, 'and who'll shame 'em all with her good looks - she will. I say she will! she shall!' - as if she were in passionate contention with some unseen opponent at the bedside, who contradicted her - 'my daughter has been turned away from, and cast out, but she could boast relationship to proud folks too, if she chose. Ah! To proud folks! There's relationship without your clergy and your wedding rings - they may make it, but they can't break it - and my daughter's well related. Show me Mrs Dombey, and I'll show you my Alice's first cousin.'
Harriet glanced from the old woman to the lustrous eyes intent upon her face, and derived corroboration from them.
'What!' cried the old woman, her nodding head bridling with a ghastly vanity. 'Though I am old and ugly now, - much older by life and habit than years though, - I was once as young as any. Ah! as pretty too, as many! I was a fresh country wench in my time, darling,' stretching out her arm to Harriet, across the bed, 'and looked it, too. Down in my country, Mrs Dombey's father and his brother were the gayest gentlemen and the best-liked that came a visiting from London - they have long been dead, though! Lord, Lord, this long while! The brother, who was my Ally's father, longest of the two.'
She raised her head a little, and peered at her daughter's face; as if from the remembrance of her own youth, she had flown to the remembrance of her child's. Then, suddenly, she laid her face down on the bed, and shut her head up in her hands and arms.
'They were as like,' said the old woman, without looking up, as you could see two brothers, so near an age - there wasn't much more than a year between them, as I recollect - and if you could have seen my gal, as I have seen her once, side by side with the other's daughter, you'd have seen, for all the difference of dress and life, that they were like each other. Oh! is the likeness gone, and is it my gal - only my gal - that's to change so!'
'We shall all change, mother, in our turn,' said Alice.
'Turn!' cried the old woman, 'but why not hers as soon as my gal's! The mother must have changed - she looked as old as me, and full as wrinkled through her paint - but she was handsome. What have I done, I, what have I done worse than her, that only my gal is to lie there fading!' With another of those wild cries, she went running out into the room from which she had come; but immediately, in her uncertain mood, returned, and creeping up to Harriet, said:
'That's what Alice bade me tell you, deary. That's all. I found it out when I began to ask who she was, and all about her, away in Warwickshire there, one summer-time. Such relations was no good to me, then. They wouldn't have owned me, and had nothing to give me. I should have asked 'em, maybe, for a little money, afterwards, if it hadn't been for my Alice; she'd a'most have killed me, if I had, I think She was as proud as t'other in her way,' said the old woman, touching the face of her daughter fearfully, and withdrawing her hand, 'for all she's so quiet now; but she'll shame 'em with her good looks yet. Ha, ha! She'll shame 'em, will my handsome daughter!'
Her laugh, as she retreated, was worse than her cry; worse than the burst of imbecile lamentation in which it ended; worse than the doting air with which she sat down in her old seat, and stared out at the darkness.
The eyes of Alice had all this time been fixed on Harriet, whose hand she had never released. She said now:
'I have felt, lying here, that I should like you to know this. It might explain, I have thought, something that used to help to harden me. I had heard so much, in my wrongdoing, of my neglected duty, that I took up with the belief that duty had not been done to me, and that as the seed was sown, the harvest grew. I somehow made it out that when ladies had bad homes and mothers, they went wrong in their way, too; but that their way was not so foul a one as mine, and they had need to bless God for it.' That is all past. It is like a dream, now, which I cannot quite remember or understand. It has been more and more like a dream, every day, since you began to sit here, and to read to me. I only tell it you, as I can recollect it. Will you read to me a little more?'
Harriet was withdrawing her hand to open the book, when Alice detained it for a moment.
'You will not forget my mother? I forgive her, if I have any cause. I know that she forgives me, and is sorry in her heart. You will not forget her?'
'Never, Alice!'
'A moment yet. Lay your head so, dear, that as you read I may see the words in your kind face.'
Harriet complied and read - read the eternal book for all the weary, and the heavy-laden; for all the wretched, fallen, and neglected of this earth - read the blessed history, in which the blind lame palsied beggar, the criminal, the woman stained with shame, the shunned of all our dainty clay, has each a portion, that no human pride, indifference, or sophistry, through all the ages that this world shall last, can take away, or by the thousandth atom of a grain reduce - read the ministry of Him who, through the round of human life, and all its hopes and griefs, from birth to death, from infancy to age, had sweet compassion for, and interest in, its every scene and stage, its every suffering and sorrow.
'I shall come,' said Harriet, when she shut the book, 'very early in the morning.'
The lustrous eyes, yet fixed upon her face, closed for a moment, then opened; and Alice kissed and blest her.
The same eyes followed her to the door; and in their light, and on the tranquil face, there was a smile when it was closed.
They never turned away. She laid her hand upon her breast, murmuring the sacred name that had been read to her; and life passed from her face, like light removed.
Nothing lay there, any longer, but the ruin of the mortal house on which the rain had beaten, and the black hair that had fluttered in the wintry wind.
海洋在整个一年中周而复始地涨潮和退潮。在整个一年中,时间在暴风雨和阳光中完成它那无休无止的工作。在整个一年中,人类盛衰变化的潮水按照它们规定的路程流动着。在整个一年中,名声赫赫的董贝父子公司跟不幸的意外事件、可疑的谣传、不成功的冒险交易、不吉利的时间,特别是跟它老板的昏头昏脑,进行了生死的斗争;因为他丝毫不愿收缩公司经营的业务,并且听不进一个字的警告:他迎着暴风雨、不顾一切、强迫行驶的船是不牢固的,它经受不住暴风雨的袭击。
一年过去了,这个宏伟的公司倒闭了。
这是夏天的一个下午;在这座城市的教堂中举行婚礼以后差几天就满一年了;人们在交易所里开始嘁嘁喳喳、交头接耳地谈论这场大破产。某个冷漠的、高傲的、在那里众所周知的人不在那里,也没有派代表到那里。第二天,到处都闹哄哄地风传着这个消息:董贝父子公司已经停止营业;这天晚上报纸上发表了一批破产者的名单,这个公司名列首位。
现在这个社会确实十分忙碌,并且有许多话要说。这是个天真地轻信的社会,而且是个被大大地糟蹋了的社会。在这个社会中,没有任何其他种类的破产。在这个社会中,没有显赫的人物广泛地从事宗教、爱国主义、道德、荣誉的腐败的投机买卖。在这个社会中,没有数量值得一提的流通纸币,有些人能靠它们生活得很好,并出于善意许诺大量支付金钱但却口惠而实不至。在这个社会中,不论在什么地方,除了金钱之外,没有任何缺点。这个社会确实是很愤怒的;大家看到这个社会的人们,特别是那些在一个更坏的社会中他们自己可能在卖弄色相和虚伪做作方面是些破产的经营者的人们,现在极为愤怒。
信差珀奇先生,这位听随形势摆弄的人物,又有了个酗酒行乐的新的诱因了!珀奇先生经常醒来的时候发现自己出了名①,这显然是他命中注定的。私奔及随后发生的事件使他名噪一时,人们可以说,他昨天刚刚才转入平静的个人生活,而现在由于公司破产,他又成了比过去任何时候更为重要的人物了。珀奇先生现在坐在外面的办公室中的托架上,注视着会计以及其他人们(他们很快取代了原先几乎所有的职员)的陌生的脸孔;当他从托架上悄悄地下来,只要在外面的院子里,最远在“国王的纹章”酒吧间里一露面,就会被人们问上一大堆问题;在这些问题中几乎肯定地总要包含这样一个有趣的问题:他想喝什么?然后珀奇先生就开始详详细细地谈到他和珀奇太太在鲍尔斯池塘的那些忧虑不安的时刻,那时候他们第一次猜疑“事情变糟糕了”。然后,仿佛公司的死尸就停放在隔壁房间里似的,珀奇先生用很低的对目瞪口呆的听众谈到珀奇太太第一次听到他在睡梦中哼叫道,“一英镑值十二个先令九便士,一英镑值十二个先令九便士!②,那时她就猜疑变糟糕了。他认为,他这种讲梦话的行为追根溯源是由于董贝先生脸部的表情变化给他留下的印象所产生的。然后他告诉他们,他有一次曾经问董贝先生,“先生,我可以冒昧地问一句吗,您的心情是不是不快活?”董贝先生回答道,“我的忠心耿耿的珀奇——不过不,我不会不快活的!”他一边说,一边用手敲敲前额,说,“您走吧,珀奇!”然后,总而言之,这位成为他的地位的牺牲品的珀奇先生就会讲出形形色色的谎话,那些动人的故事把他自己都感动得簌簌落泪;他真心相信,昨天捏造的胡言乱语今天重复一遍,就好像成了真实的了。
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①这里引用英国浪漫主义诗人乔治•戈登•拜伦(GeorgeGordonByron,1788—1924)的一句名言。拜伦在他的长诗《查尔德•哈洛德游记》(ChideHarold’spilgrimage)第一、二两章问世后,立刻名扬四方,因此他在日记里这样写道:“我一个早晨醒来就发现自己成了名。”
②一英镑本应值十二个先令。
珀奇先生在结束这种聚会时,总是温和地说道,“当然,不论他们过去可能有过什么怀疑(仿佛他真有过什么怀疑似的!),他总是不该辜负他的信任的,是不是?他的这种心情给他的感情带来很大的荣誉(听众当中没有一个是债权人)。因此,当他离开他们回到办公室去的时候,自己的良心总是得到了安慰,而且在人们心中总是留下了良好的印象;他就这样回到他的托架中,重新坐下来注视着会计和其他人们的陌生的脸孔,看他们随随便便地翻阅着那些包含着极大机密的帐册;或者他就踮着脚,走进董贝先生的空荡荡的房间,拨拨煤火;或者到门口去透透新鲜空气,跟偶尔到这里来走走的熟人伤心地聊上几句;或者向会计长献上各种小殷勤来取得他的好感,因为珀奇先生指望在董贝父子公司事务结束之后,会计长能帮助他在火灾保险公司里谋求一个信差的职务。
对白格斯托克少校来说,破产是真正的灾难。少校并不是一位富于同情心的人——他的注意力完全集中在乔•白身上——,除了喘气和呼吸困难这些生理方面的表现以外,他在其他方面也不是个易于感情冲动的人。可是他过去在俱乐部里那么夸耀他的朋友董贝,在其他成员面前对他那么大吹大擂,又是那么不断地宣扬他的财富来把他们压下去,因此俱乐部里的这些人(他们毕竟也是人哪!)现在都幸灾乐祸地对少校进行报复;他们装出极为关切的神情,问他,这样可怕的沉重打击他可曾事先预料到,他的朋友董贝又是怎样忍受它的呢。对这些问题,少校脸孔涨成深紫色,回答道,总的说来,我们是生活在一个很坏的世界上;乔稍稍懂得一些,可是他上当受骗了,先生,就像一个婴儿一样上当受骗了;如果当乔•白格斯托克跟董贝到国外去,在法国到处追寻那个流氓的时候,您向他作出这种预言的话,那么乔•白格斯托克是会“呸!呸!”地讥笑您的——我敢向天主发誓,先生,他是会“呸!呸!”地讥笑您的!乔被欺骗了,先生,被愚弄了,被蒙蔽了,被包上眼睛了,可是现在他又完全清醒过来,睁开眼睛,留神看了。先生,如果乔的父亲明天从坟墓里爬起来的话,那么他也不会赊给这位老击剑师一个便士的,而会对他说,他的儿子乔是个很老的军人,不会再受骗了,先生。他现在是个多疑的、乖戾的、古怪的、筋疲力尽的异教徒乔•白,先生;如果退隐到一个桶里居住是符合一位从老学校中训练出来的一位粗鲁和坚强的老少校的尊严的话(他本人曾荣幸地认识已故的肯特郡和约克郡的公爵殿下,并受到过他们的赞扬),那么,可以向上帝发誓!先生,他明天就会坐在帕尔•马尔街的桶里,来显示他对人类的鄙视了!①
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①指希腊犬儒派哲学家戴奥吉尼斯(公无前412?—323年)。犬儒学派是希腊的一个哲学派别,它强调禁欲主义的自我满足,放弃舒适的环境。戴奥吉尼斯是这个学派的典型人物,号召人们回复简朴的自然的生活;据说他有一段时间是住在一个桶里的。帕尔•马尔(PallMall)是伦敦中心的一条街,居住在这里的都是上流社会人士。
少校发表所有的这些谈话以及许多诸如此类的谈话时,总是显示出易患中风症的症状,总是使劲地摇晃着脑袋,激烈地发泄出他的委屈与愤怒,所以俱乐部里年轻的成员们都猜测他曾在他的朋友董贝的公司里投了资,如今遭受了损失;可是那些对乔了解较多的、年纪较老的军人和阅世较深的老滑头们却不相信这一点。倒霉的本地人没有提出过任何意见,但却吃尽了可怕的苦头;不仅在精神方面,每天每个钟头都要受到少校连珠炮似的责骂,而且在身体方面,他也一直处于紧张状态,不是被打痛,就是被撞伤。在董贝父子公司破产以后整整六个星期中,脱靴器和刷子不时像雨点似地落在这位可怜的外国人的身上。
奇克夫人对这场可怕的翻天覆地的变化有三个想法。首先是,她不能理解这件事。第二是,她的哥哥没有作出应有的努力。第三是,在举行第一次晚会的那一天,如果她被邀请参加宴会的话,那么就决不会发生这样的事情,这一点她当时就这样说过。
不论是谁,对这场灾难所发表的意见,都不能阻止它,减轻它或使它加重。人们得知,公司本应当在最有利的情况下结束营业的,但董贝先生却自愿放弃他的一切财产,而不请求任何人施予恩惠。人们得知,恢复公司业务的问题根本谈不上了,因为任何以互相让步为目的的友好协商他都不愿意听取;他过去作为商业界受尊敬的一个人,曾经担任过一些负责的和荣誉的职务,现在他把所有这些职务全都辞退了;据有些人说,他快要死了;据另一些人说,他忧伤得要发疯;据所有的人说,他是个心灰意冷的人。
公司的职员们举行了一个小小的表示哀伤的宴会,宴会上由于有滑稽逗趣的歌唱,所以气氛活跃,进行得很好。在这之后,大家就分道扬镳,各奔四方了。有些人到国外工作;有些人在国内其他公司中任职;有些人突然记起了他们有深厚感情的乡下亲戚,就动身去看望他们;有些人则在报纸上刊登求职广告。在原先的职工中,只有珀奇先生一个人还留下来,坐在托架上看着会计们,或从托架上跳下来,去巴结那位能帮他到火灾保险公司谋求职务的会计长。办公室很快就变得肮脏起来,无人照管。如果这时候董贝先生来到这里的话,那么在院子角落里出售拖鞋和狗颈圈的主要商人心里就会琢磨,现在再像过去那样把食指举到帽檐行礼是否合适了;搬运员把手藏在白围裙下面,发表了规劝人们不要有野心的讲话;在他看来,英文中野心(ambition)与毁灭(perdicBtion)这两个词是押韵的,这不是没有道理。
莫芬先生这位眼睛淡褐色、头发与连鬓胡子稍稍有些斑白的单身汉,也许是公司核心圈的人物中,唯一为降临的灾难由衷地、深切地感到悲痛的人(公司的老板当然除外)。在许多年中,他以应有的恭敬与尊重对待董贝先生,但是他从来不曾掩饰过自己的本性,从来不曾卑鄙地向他谄媚过,或者为了达到个人的目的而纵容过他的欲望。所以他没有因为过去自卑自贱而现在来寻求报复;没有像长久被绷紧的弹簧那样,在放松之后迅速地弹回去一下。他起早贪黑地工作,来查明公司业务中各种复杂或困难的帐目;他总是到场解释需要解释的情况;有时他深夜还坐在以前的房间中研究问题,他把问题研究清楚了就可以不必再向董贝先生本人查问,要求他来作出痛苦的说明;然后他回到伊斯林顿的家中,在睡觉前拿出大提琴,拉出极为忧郁、凄凉的曲调,来使心情平静下来。
有一天晚上,他正在用这音调优美、倾诉哀愁的乐器来安慰自己;因为白天发生的事情使他感到十分沮丧,所以他拉出极为深沉的声调来消除忧伤,这时候房东太太前来通报说,有一位女士来到。(房东太太很幸运是个聋子,她对这些音乐演奏除了觉得像有什么东西在骨头里隆隆作响之外,没有什么别的感觉。)
“她穿着丧服,”她说道。
大提琴立刻停止发声,演奏的人极为亲切、极为小心地把它搁在沙发上,一边做了个手势,请那位女士进来。他立即跟着走出房间,在楼梯上遇到哈里特•卡克。
“您一个人!”他说道,“约翰今天早上到这里来过!出了什么事了,我亲爱的?可是不,”他补充说道,“您的脸容说明了完全不同的情况。”
“这么说,我担心,您在我脸上看到的是自私感情的流露了,”她回答道。
“这是令人很愉快的感情,”他说道,“如果是自私的感情的话,那么也是值得在您身上看到的一桩新奇事儿。但是我不相信这一点。”
这时候他已给她搬过去一张椅子,并在对面坐了下来;大提琴舒适地躺在他们中间的沙发上。
“您不要因为我单独来或约翰没有告诉您我要来而感到惊奇,”哈里特说道,“当我把我到这里来的原因告诉您以后,您就会相信我的。我现在就告诉您好吗?”
“再好不过了。”
“您不忙吗?”
他指指躺在沙发上的大提琴,说道,“我整天都工作。证人就在这里。我向它倾吐了我的一切烦恼。我真但愿除了我个人的忧虑外,我没有别的忧虑可以向它倾吐了。”
“公司是不是倒闭了?”哈里特认真地问道。
“完全倒闭了。”
“永远不能再恢复了吗?”
“永远不能了。”
当她的嘴唇把这几个字不出声地重复说了一遍的时候,她脸上明朗的表情并没有笼罩上阴影。他似乎无意识地带几分惊奇地注意到这一点,然后重新说道:
“永远不能了。您记得我以前跟您说过的话吗?长期来,一直不可能说服他,不可能跟他讲理,有时甚至不可能接近他。最糟糕的事情已经发生了。公司已经垮台了,永远也不能振兴了。”
“董贝先生本人是不是也毁了?”
“毁了。”
“他没有留下私人财产吗?什么也没留下吗?”
她中包含的某种焦急的情绪,她脸上露出的几乎是喜洋洋的表情,似乎使他愈来愈感到惊奇,同时也使他感到失望,这种表情与他自己的情绪是很不一致的。他用一只手的指头敲着桌子,一边若有所思地望着她;沉默了一会儿之后,他摇摇头,说道:
“董贝先生有多少财产,我并不确切地知道;虽然它无疑是很大的,但他的债务也很大。他是个高尚、正直的人。任何人处在他的地位都能跟与他有交易的人达成协议来挽救自己,这种协议会使对方增加微小的、几乎是觉察不到的损失,同时给他留下一笔钱,让他可以生活。许多人处在他的地位都会这样做的。可是他却决心偿付一切,直到最后一个法新。他本人说,他的资产将能抵偿或接近抵偿公司的债务,任何人都不会遭到很大损失。啊,哈里特小姐,我们不妨经常记住:道德超过了应有的限度有时就成了罪恶。他的这个决定也充分表现了他的高傲。”
她听他说话的时候,表情很少变化,或者完全没有变化。她的注意力不集中,这说明她心中正在想着别的什么事情。当他停止讲话的时候,她急忙问他道:
“您最近看到他吗?”
“谁也没有看到他。当这场业务危机使他必须从家里走出来的时候,他才走出来,然后他又回到家里,闭门不出,也不会见任何人。他给我写过一封信,感谢我过去的服务,那些赞扬的话有些过分,不是我所应得的;他在信中同时向我告别。在那些光景美好的年月中我跟他就从来没有很多来往,现在我就更加审慎,不想随意去打扰他;但是我曾经尝试这样做过。我曾经给他写信,到他那里向他提出请求。但是所有这一切全是徒劳。”
他注视着她,好像希望她能比刚才表示出更多的关心;他说得庄重而又富于感情,仿佛想要给她加深印象似的;但是她的表情没有改变。
“唔,哈里特小姐,”他露出失望的神态,说道,“谈这些不合适。您不是到这里来听这些话的。您心中有别的更愉快的话题。让我们转到这些话题上来,这样我们可以谈得融洽些。就这样吧!”
“不,我的话题和您的相同,”哈里特直率地、迅速地表示出惊奇,回答道,“难道能不相同吗?约翰和我最近对这些巨大的变化思考得很多,谈论得很多,难道这不是很自然的吗?约翰为董贝先生服务了这么多年,您知道是按照什么条件服务的,现在,董贝先生,就像您所说的,破产了,而我们却很有钱了。”
她的脸善良、真诚,莫芬先生这位眼睛淡褐色的单身汉自从第一次看到它以来一直喜欢它;可是现在当它露出极端喜悦的神色时,它却不能像过去那样使他喜欢了。
“我不需要提醒您,”哈里特说道,一边眼睛向黑色的衣服低垂着,“我们的境况是通过什么途径发生变化的。您没有忘记,我的弟弟詹姆士在那个可怕的日子去世以后,没有留下遗嘱,除了我们之外他没有别的亲属。”
她的脸虽然比片刻之前苍白、忧郁,可是他却比刚才更喜欢看到它。他似乎呼吸得更为轻松愉快了。
“您知道我们的历史,”她说道,“我两个弟弟的历史,它们都跟您刚才那么真诚地谈到的那位倒霉的、不幸的先生联系着。您知道,我们的需求——约翰的和我的——是多么少,我们在这许多年中一起度过了这样一种生活之后,我们多么不需要用什么钱;由于您的好意帮助,他现在的收入是足够我们两人用的了。您没有料想到我到这里来想请您帮什么忙吧?”
“我不知道。一分钟以前,我好像料想到了。现在我觉得,我没有料想到。”
“关于我死去的弟弟,我没有什么话要说。如果死者知道我们所做的事情的话——可是您了解我。关于我活着的弟弟,我可以说很多的话。可是我需要补充的就是,他想尽他的责任——我就是为了这个缘故才到这里来请求您给予必不可少的帮助的;除非这件事完成了,否则他是不能安宁的。”
她又抬起眼睛,在注视着她的人的眼睛中,她脸上露出的兴高采烈的神色开始显得漂亮起来了。
“亲爱的先生,”她继续说道,“这件事必须很谨慎很秘密地做。您的经验与知识将会向您指出完成这件事的方法。也许可以使董贝先生相信,从他遭受严重损失的财产中还意外地保存下来一笔钱;或者那些跟他从事大宗交易的人们当中,有人由于崇敬他正直、高尚的品格,自愿捐献出一笔款项;或者这是过去无法收回的一笔旧欠款归还来了。做这件事一定有很多方法。我知道您会选择最好的方法。我到这里来请求您的是,您将以您特有的那种善良、慷慨、慎重的方式为我们做这件事。您永远也别向约翰提到这件事。他认为,他的幸福主要在于他秘密地尽了他的责任,不被人知道,不受到赞扬。他遗产中很小的一部分可以留给我们,其余部分的利息由董贝先生在他的余年中领取。我请求您忠实地为我们保守秘密;不过我相信您会这样做的;从现在起,即使是在您和我之间,也不要悄悄地提起它,而让它留在我们的记忆中,因为我有新的理由来感谢上天,并由于有这样一位弟弟而感到高兴和自豪。”
当天使们看到一位忏悔的罪人进入天国,列身在九十九个正直的人们中间的时候,他们脸上才能出现这种兴高采烈的神情。她眼睛里充满了喜悦的泪水,这并没有使这种神情暗淡失色,而是使它变得更加明亮。
“我亲爱的哈里特,”莫芬先生沉默了一会儿,说道,“我对这没有思想准备。您的意思是:您希望由您本人继承的那份遗产也跟约翰的那份一样用于你们善良的目的,我这样理解对吗?”
“对,对,”她回答道,“在这么长久的时间中我们分享一切,并有着共同的忧虑、希望与目的;难道我能容忍把我排除在这件事情之外吗?难道我不能要求自始至终成为我弟弟的伙伴与助手吗?”
“上天不容许我有不同意见!”他回答道。
“这么说,我们可以依赖您友好的帮助了吗?”她说道。
“我知道,我们可以了!”
“如果我不能从心灵里向你们保证我会这样做的话,那么我就不是一个我希望自己能成为那样的人,或我愿意相信我就是那样的人,而是一个坏一些的人了。你们可以毫无保留地指望我帮助你们。我以荣誉发誓,我一定为你们保守秘密。
如果到头来发现我的担心没有错,董贝先生由于一意孤行(看来没有什么办法能影响他改变这一点),落到一贫如洗的地步的话,那么我将帮助你们完成您和约翰共同想出的计划。”
她向他伸出手,并露出热诚的、快乐的脸容向他表示感谢。
“哈里特,”他把她的手留在自己手中,说道,“现在跟您讲你们所能作出牺牲的价值(尤其是讲仅仅金钱方面的牺牲的价值)是无益和放肆的;呼吁你们重新考虑你们的决定或对它规定一个狭窄的幅度,我觉得也同样是荒谬的。我没有权利让我这个软弱的人在这件事情上插手,来毁坏一个伟大历史的伟大结局。可是我有一切权利恭恭敬敬地做好你们信托给我的事情,而且十分高兴,因为它来自一个比我的可怜的世俗的知识更高尚、更纯洁的灵感的源泉。我所要说的只是这一点:我是您的忠实的仆人;我宁愿成为这样的仆人和您所选择的朋友,而不愿意成为世界上除您本人之外的任何其他人。”
她又热诚地谢谢他,祝他晚安。
“您要回家吗?”他说道。“让我陪您一道走。”
“不,今天您别陪我。我现在不回家;我要单独去拜访一个人。您明天来好吗?”
“好,好,”他说道,“我明天来。同时我将考虑一下这件事,我们怎样进行最好。也许•您•也•将•会考虑这件事,亲爱的哈里特,同时,——同时,——请您也稍稍考虑一下与这事有关的我。”
他陪她走到门口,她的一辆轿式马车正在那里等着她。当马车离开以后,他回到楼上来的时候,如果房东太太的耳朵不聋的话,那么她就能听到他喃喃自语地说道,我们都是受习惯支配的奴隶,当一个老单身汉是一个使人伤心的习惯。
大提琴躺在两张椅子中间的沙发上;他把它拿起来,没有移开空着的椅子,在原先坐过的那张椅子上坐下来用低沉的演奏着,同时望着另一张空着的椅子慢悠悠地摇晃着脑袋,时间很久很久。他通过乐器表露出的感情起初虽然非常感伤动人,温柔多情,但跟他看着那张空着的椅子时脸上表露出的感情相比,那就算不了什么了;他脸上表露出的感情十分诚挚,他不得不采用卡特尔船长的办法,不止一次用袖子去擦脸。但是大提琴伴随着他的心情,渐渐地转到了《和睦的铁匠》①这支音调优美的曲子上;他把它拉了一次又一次,直到后来他红润与安祥的脸孔就像一位真正的铁匠的铁砧上的真正的金属一样闪闪发光了。总而言之,大提琴和那张空椅子一直成为他单身生活的伴侣,直到将近午夜。当他坐下吃晚饭的时候,大提琴竖立在沙发的一角,似乎怀着难以形容的智慧,通过它那钩形的眼睛,向那张空椅子递送着秋波,它那挺凸的肚子里充满了一大群和睦的铁匠的和睦气氛。
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①《和睦的铁匠》(HarmoniousBlacksmith)是英籍德国作曲家亨德尔(GeorgeFridericHandel,1685—1759年)所写的一个曲子。
哈里特坐上她租来的轿式马车,离开莫芬先生的家以后,马车夫抄了一条对他显然并不陌生的路线,穿过了好多曲曲弯弯的偏僻小路,再通过近郊的一段路,最后到达一个空旷的地方;那里在一些花园中间,有几间朴素的、小小的旧房屋,他在其中的一间房屋的花园门口停住,哈里特下了车。
她轻轻地拉了一下铃,应声前来的是一位神色忧伤的女人;她脸色苍白,眉毛竖起,头低垂在一边;她看到哈里特,行了个屈膝礼,领着她穿过花园,走到房屋跟前。
“今天夜里您的病人怎样了,护士?”哈里特问道。
“我担心不好了,小姐。啊,有时候我见到她多叫我联想起我舅舅的贝特西•简!”脸色苍白的女人怀着悲喜交集的心情回答道。
“在哪方面?”哈里特问道。
“在所有方面,小姐,”那一位回答道,“只有一点不同,她是个成年人,而贝特西•简走到死神的门口时,还只是个孩子。”
“可是您曾告诉我她痊愈了,”哈里特温柔地说道,“所以就更有理由怀着希望了,威肯姆太太。”
“啊,小姐,对于那些情绪快乐,能够怀有希望的人来说,希望是一件很好的事情!”威肯姆太太摇摇头,说道,“我自己的情绪不好,产生不出希望,但我对这没有任何怨恨。我羡慕那些享有这种幸福的人们!”
“您应当设法快活一些,”哈里特说道。
“非常感谢您,小姐,”威肯姆太太愁眉苦脸地说道,“如果我是个性格快活的人,那么现在这种寂寞的状况——请原谅我说得这么直率——,也会使这点快活在二十四小时内从我的心里完全失去;可是我根本不是这种性格的人。我宁肯这样。我以前曾经有过一点快乐的情绪,它已经在几年以前在布赖顿失去了,我觉得这对我反倒更好。”
确实,这就是接替理查兹大嫂给小保罗当保姆的威肯姆大嫂。她认为,在皮普钦太太家里发生了那桩不幸事件之后,她本人倒是因祸得福。这个非常美妙和考虑周到的古老制度,由于长期承袭的旧俗惯例,已成为神圣不可侵犯;它通常总是把它所能找到的那些最忧郁寡欢、令人不快的人们挑选出来充当青年导师、传道士、女舍监、教务助理生、病床护士以及诸如此类的人物;正由于这个缘故,威肯姆太太就得到了护士这个很好的职务,她的品德受到了很多钦佩她的亲戚们的推荐。
威肯姆太太扬起眉毛,头歪向一边,用蜡烛照着道路,上了楼,走到一间干净、整洁的房间里;这间房间通向另一间灯光幽暗、里面摆有一张床的房间。在第一个房间里,一位老太婆坐在打开的窗子旁边,呆呆地向黑漆漆的窗外凝视着。在另一个房间里,有一个人的身形,伸开四肢,躺在床上;这个人曾经不怕风雨,在冬夜里走路,现在却只能凭她那长长的黑发才能辨认出来;在她那毫无血色的脸孔和周围所有白色物体的衬托下,那头发显得更黑了。
啊,那双炯炯有神的眼睛和那个衰弱的身躯!当哈里特走进去的时候,那双眼睛多么热切、多么明亮地转向了门口,射出了多么明亮的光芒;那个有气无力、抬不起来的脑袋是多么缓慢地在枕头上转过去啊!
“艾丽斯!”客人用温柔的说道,“我今天是不是来晚了?”
“虽然你总是来得早早的,但我总觉得您似乎来晚了。”
慕若涵

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Chapter 59
Retribution
Changes have come again upon the great house in the long dull street, once the scene of Florence's childhood and loneliness. It is a great house still, proof against wind and weather, without breaches in the roof, or shattered windows, or dilapidated walls; but it is a ruin none the less, and the rats fly from it.
Mr Towlinson and company are, at first, incredulous in respect of the shapeless rumours that they hear. Cook says our people's credit ain't so easy shook as that comes to, thank God; and Mr Towlinson expects to hear it reported next, that the Bank of England's a-going to break, or the jewels in the Tower to be sold up. But, next come the Gazette, and Mr Perch; and Mr Perch brings Mrs Perch to talk it over in the kitchen, and to spend a pleasant evening.
As soon as there is no doubt about it, Mr Towlinson's main anxiety is that the failure should be a good round one - not less than a hundred thousand pound. Mr Perch don't think himself that a hundred thousand pound will nearly cover it. The women, led by Mrs Perch and Cook, often repeat 'a hun-dred thou-sand pound!' with awful satisfaction - as if handling the words were like handling the money; and the housemaid, who has her eye on Mr Towlinson, wishes she had only a hundredth part of the sum to bestow on the man of her choice. Mr Towlinson, still mindful of his old wrong, opines that a foreigner would hardly know what to do with so much money, unless he spent it on his whiskers; which bitter sarcasm causes the housemaid to withdraw in tears.
But not to remain long absent; for Cook, who has the reputation of being extremely good-hearted, says, whatever they do, let 'em stand by one another now, Towlinson, for there's no telling how soon they may be divided. They have been in that house (says Cook) through a funeral, a wedding, and a running-away; and let it not be said that they couldn't agree among themselves at such a time as the present. Mrs Perch is immensely affected by this moving address, and openly remarks that Cook is an angel. Mr Towlinson replies to Cook, far be it from him to stand in the way of that good feeling which he could wish to see; and adjourning in quest of the housemaid, and presently returning with that young lady on his arm, informs the kitchen that foreigners is only his fun, and that him and Anne have now resolved to take one another for better for worse, and to settle in Oxford Market in the general greengrocery and herb and leech line, where your kind favours is particular requested. This announcement is received with acclamation; and Mrs Perch, projecting her soul into futurity, says, 'girls,' in Cook's ear, in a solemn whisper.
Misfortune in the family without feasting, in these lower regions, couldn't be. Therefore Cook tosses up a hot dish or two for supper, and Mr Towlinson compounds a lobster salad to be devoted to the same hospitable purpose. Even Mrs Pipchin, agitated by the occasion, rings her bell, and sends down word that she requests to have that little bit of sweetbread that was left, warmed up for her supper, and sent to her on a tray with about a quarter of a tumbler-full of mulled sherry; for she feels poorly.
There is a little talk about Mr Dombey, but very little. It is chiefly speculation as to how long he has known that this was going to happen. Cook says shrewdly, 'Oh a long time, bless you! Take your oath of that.' And reference being made to Mr Perch, he confirms her view of the case. Somebody wonders what he'll do, and whether he'll go out in any situation. Mr Towlinson thinks not, and hints at a refuge in one of them genteel almshouses of the better kind. 'Ah, where he'll have his little garden, you know,' says Cook plaintively, 'and bring up sweet peas in the spring.' 'Exactly so,' says Mr Towlinson, 'and be one of the Brethren of something or another.' 'We are all brethren,' says Mrs Perch, in a pause of her drink. 'Except the sisters,' says Mr Perch. 'How are the mighty fallen!' remarks Cook. 'Pride shall have a fall, and it always was and will be so!' observes the housemaid.
It is wonderful how good they feel, in making these reflections; and what a Christian unanimity they are sensible of, in bearing the common shock with resignation. There is only one interruption to this excellent state of mind, which is occasioned by a young kitchen-maid of inferior rank - in black stockings - who, having sat with her mouth open for a long time, unexpectedly discharges from it words to this effect, 'Suppose the wages shouldn't be paid!' The company sit for a moment speechless; but Cook recovering first, turns upon the young woman, and requests to know how she dares insult the family, whose bread she eats, by such a dishonest supposition, and whether she thinks that anybody, with a scrap of honour left, could deprive poor servants of their pittance? 'Because if that is your religious feelings, Mary Daws,' says Cook warmly, 'I don't know where you mean to go to.
Mr Towlinson don't know either; nor anybody; and the young kitchen-maid, appearing not to know exactly, herself, and scouted by the general voice, is covered with confusion, as with a garment.
After a few days, strange people begin to call at the house, and to make appointments with one another in the dining-room, as if they lived there. Especially, there is a gentleman, of a Mosaic Arabian cast of countenance, with a very massive watch-guard, who whistles in the drawing-room, and, while he is waiting for the other gentleman, who always has pen and ink in his pocket, asks Mr Towlinson (by the easy name of 'Old Cock,') if he happens to know what the figure of them crimson and gold hangings might have been, when new bought. The callers and appointments in the dining-room become more numerous every day, and every gentleman seems to have pen and ink in his pocket, and to have some occasion to use it. At last it is said that there is going to be a Sale; and then more people arrive, with pen and ink in their pockets, commanding a detachment of men with carpet caps, who immediately begin to pull up the carpets, and knock the furniture about, and to print off thousands of impressions of their shoes upon the hall and staircase.
The council downstairs are in full conclave all this time, and, having nothing to do, perform perfect feats of eating. At length, they are one day summoned in a body to Mrs Pipchin's room, and thus addressed by the fair Peruvian:
'Your master's in difficulties,' says Mrs Pipchin, tartly. 'You know that, I suppose?'
Mr Towlinson, as spokesman, admits a general knowledge of the fact.
'And you're all on the look-out for yourselves, I warrant you, says Mrs Pipchin, shaking her head at them.
A shrill voice from the rear exclaims, 'No more than yourself!'
'That's your opinion, Mrs Impudence, is it?' says the ireful Pipchin, looking with a fiery eye over the intermediate heads.
'Yes, Mrs Pipchin, it is,' replies Cook, advancing. 'And what then, pray?'
'Why, then you may go as soon as you like,' says Mrs Pipchin. 'The sooner the better; and I hope I shall never see your face again.'
With this the doughty Pipchin produces a canvas bag; and tells her wages out to that day, and a month beyond it; and clutches the money tight, until a receipt for the same is duly signed, to the last upstroke; when she grudgingly lets it go. This form of proceeding Mrs Pipchin repeats with every member of the household, until all are paid.
'Now those that choose, can go about their business,' says Mrs Pipchin, 'and those that choose can stay here on board wages for a week or so, and make themselves useful. Except,' says the inflammable Pipchin, 'that slut of a cook, who'll go immediately.'
'That,' says Cook, 'she certainly will! I wish you good day, Mrs Pipchin, and sincerely wish I could compliment you on the sweetness of your appearance!'
'Get along with you,' says Mrs Pipchin, stamping her foot.
Cook sails off with an air of beneficent dignity, highly exasperating to Mrs Pipchin, and is shortly joined below stairs by the rest of the confederation.
Mr Towlinson then says that, in the first place, he would beg to propose a little snack of something to eat; and over that snack would desire to offer a suggestion which he thinks will meet the position in which they find themselves. The refreshment being produced, and very heartily partaken of, Mr Towlinson's suggestion is, in effect, that Cook is going, and that if we are not true to ourselves, nobody will be true to us. That they have lived in that house a long time, and exerted themselves very much to be sociable together. (At this, Cook says, with emotion, 'Hear, hear!' and Mrs Perch, who is there again, and full to the throat, sheds tears.) And that he thinks, at the present time, the feeling ought to be 'Go one, go all!' The housemaid is much affected by this generous sentiment, and warmly seconds it. Cook says she feels it's right, and only hopes it's not done as a compliment to her, but from a sense of duty. Mr Towlinson replies, from a sense of duty; and that now he is driven to express his opinions, he will openly say, that he does not think it over-respectable to remain in a house where Sales and such-like are carrying forwards. The housemaid is sure of it; and relates, in confirmation, that a strange man, in a carpet cap, offered, this very morning, to kiss her on the stairs. Hereupon, Mr Towlinson is starting from his chair, to seek and 'smash' the offender; when he is laid hold on by the ladies, who beseech him to calm himself, and to reflect that it is easier and wiser to leave the scene of such indecencies at once. Mrs Perch, presenting the case in a new light, even shows that delicacy towards Mr Dombey, shut up in his own rooms, imperatively demands precipitate retreat. 'For what,' says the good woman, 'must his feelings be, if he was to come upon any of the poor servants that he once deceived into thinking him immensely rich!' Cook is so struck by this moral consideration, that Mrs Perch improves it with several pious axioms, original and selected. It becomes a clear case that they must all go. Boxes are packed, cabs fetched, and at dusk that evening there is not one member of the party left.
The house stands, large and weather-proof, in the long dull street; but it is a ruin, and the rats fly from it.
The men in the carpet caps go on tumbling the furniture about; and the gentlemen with the pens and ink make out inventories of it, and sit upon pieces of furniture never made to be sat upon, and eat bread and cheese from the public-house on other pieces of furniture never made to be eaten on, and seem to have a delight in appropriating precious articles to strange uses. Chaotic combinations of furniture also take place. Mattresses and bedding appear in the dining-room; the glass and china get into the conservatory; the great dinner service is set out in heaps on the long divan in the large drawing-room; and the stair-wires, made into fasces, decorate the marble chimneypieces. Finally, a rug, with a printed bill upon it, is hung out from the balcony; and a similar appendage graces either side of the hall door.
Then, all day long, there is a retinue of mouldy gigs and chaise-carts in the street; and herds of shabby vampires, Jew and Christian, over-run the house, sounding the plate-glass minors with their knuckles, striking discordant octaves on the Grand Piano, drawing wet forefingers over the pictures, breathing on the blades of the best dinner-knives, punching the squabs of chairs and sofas with their dirty fists, touzling the feather beds, opening and shutting all the drawers, balancing the silver spoons and forks, looking into the very threads of the drapery and linen, and disparaging everything. There is not a secret place in the whole house. Fluffy and snuffy strangers stare into the kitchen-range as curiously as into the attic clothes-press. Stout men with napless hats on, look out of the bedroom windows, and cut jokes with friends in the street. Quiet, calculating spirits withdraw into the dressing-rooms with catalogues, and make marginal notes thereon, with stumps of pencils. Two brokers invade the very fire-escape, and take a panoramic survey of the neighbourhood from the top of the house. The swarm and buzz, and going up and down, endure for days. The Capital Modern Household Furniture, &c., is on view.
Then there is a palisade of tables made in the best drawing-room; and on the capital, french-polished, extending, telescopic range of Spanish mahogany dining-tables with turned legs, the pulpit of the Auctioneer is erected; and the herds of shabby vampires, Jew and Christian, the strangers fluffy and snuffy, and the stout men with the napless hats, congregate about it and sit upon everything within reach, mantel-pieces included, and begin to bid. Hot, humming, and dusty are the rooms all day; and - high above the heat, hum, and dust - the head and shoulders, voice and hammer, of the Auctioneer, are ever at work. The men in the carpet caps get flustered and vicious with tumbling the Lots about, and still the Lots are going, going, gone; still coming on. Sometimes there is joking and a general roar. This lasts all day and three days following. The Capital Modern Household Furniture, &c., is on sale.
Then the mouldy gigs and chaise-carts reappear; and with them come spring-vans and waggons, and an army of porters with knots. All day long, the men with carpet caps are screwing at screw-drivers and bed-winches, or staggering by the dozen together on the staircase under heavy burdens, or upheaving perfect rocks of Spanish mahogany, best rose-wood, or plate-glass, into the gigs and chaise-carts, vans and waggons. All sorts of vehicles of burden are in attendance, from a tilted waggon to a wheelbarrow. Poor Paul's little bedstead is carried off in a donkey-tandem. For nearly a whole week, the Capital Modern Household Furniture, & c., is in course of removal.
At last it is all gone. Nothing is left about the house but scattered leaves of catalogues, littered scraps of straw and hay, and a battery of pewter pots behind the hall-door. The men with the carpet-caps gather up their screw-drivers and bed-winches into bags, shoulder them, and walk off. One of the pen-and-ink gentlemen goes over the house as a last attention; sticking up bills in the windows respecting the lease of this desirable family mansion, and shutting the shutters. At length he follows the men with the carpet caps. None of the invaders remain. The house is a ruin, and the rats fly from it.
Mrs Pipchin's apartments, together with those locked rooms on the ground-floor where the window-blinds are drawn down close, have been spared the general devastation. Mrs Pipchin has remained austere and stony during the proceedings, in her own room; or has occasionally looked in at the sale to see what the goods are fetching, and to bid for one particular easy chair. Mrs Pipchin has been the highest bidder for the easy chair, and sits upon her property when Mrs Chick comes to see her.
'How is my brother, Mrs Pipchin?' says Mrs Chick.
'I don't know any more than the deuce,' says Mrs Pipchin. 'He never does me the honour to speak to me. He has his meat and drink put in the next room to his own; and what he takes, he comes out and takes when there's nobody there. It's no use asking me. I know no more about him than the man in the south who burnt his mouth by eating cold plum porridge."
This the acrimonious Pipchin says with a flounce.
'But good gracious me!' cries Mrs Chick blandly. 'How long is this to last! If my brother will not make an effort, Mrs Pipchin, what is to become of him? I am sure I should have thought he had seen enough of the consequences of not making an effort, by this time, to be warned against that fatal error.'
'Hoity toity!' says Mrs Pipchin, rubbing her nose. 'There's a great fuss, I think, about it. It ain't so wonderful a case. People have had misfortunes before now, and been obliged to part with their furniture. I'm sure I have!'
'My brother,' pursues Mrs Chick profoundly, 'is so peculiar - so strange a man. He is the most peculiar man I ever saw. Would anyone believe that when he received news of the marriage and emigration of that unnatural child - it's a comfort to me, now, to remember that I always said there was something extraordinary about that child: but nobody minds me - would anybody believe, I say, that he should then turn round upon me and say he had supposed, from my manner, that she had come to my house? Why, my gracious! And would anybody believe that when I merely say to him, "Paul, I may be very foolish, and I have no doubt I am, but I cannot understand how your affairs can have got into this state," he should actually fly at me, and request that I will come to see him no more until he asks me! Why, my goodness!'
'Ah'!' says Mrs Pipchin. 'It's a pity he hadn't a little more to do with mines. They'd have tried his temper for him.'
'And what,' resumes Mrs Chick, quite regardless of Mrs Pipchin's observations, 'is it to end in? That's what I want to know. What does my brother mean to do? He must do something. It's of no use remaining shut up in his own rooms. Business won't come to him. No. He must go to it. Then why don't he go? He knows where to go, I suppose, having been a man of business all his life. Very good. Then why not go there?'
Mrs Chick, after forging this powerful chain of reasoning, remains silent for a minute to admire it.
'Besides,' says the discreet lady, with an argumentative air, 'who ever heard of such obstinacy as his staying shut up here through all these dreadful disagreeables? It's not as if there was no place for him to go to. Of course he could have come to our house. He knows he is at home there, I suppose? Mr Chick has perfectly bored about it, and I said with my own lips, "Why surely, Paul, you don't imagine that because your affairs have got into this state, you are the less at home to such near relatives as ourselves? You don't imagine that we are like the rest of the world?" But no; here he stays all through, and here he is. Why, good gracious me, suppose the house was to be let! What would he do then? He couldn't remain here then. If he attempted to do so, there would be an ejectment, an action for Doe, and all sorts of things; and then he must go. Then why not go at first instead of at last? And that brings me back to what I said just now, and I naturally ask what is to be the end of it?'
'I know what's to be the end of it, as far as I am concerned,' replies Mrs Pipchin, 'and that's enough for me. I'm going to take myself off in a jiffy.'
'In a which, Mrs Pipchin,' says Mrs Chick.
'In a jiffy,' retorts Mrs Pipchin sharply.
'Ah, well! really I can't blame you, Mrs Pipchin,' says Mrs Chick, with frankness.
'It would be pretty much the same to me, if you could,' replies the sardonic Pipchin. 'At any rate I'm going. I can't stop here. I should be dead in a week. I had to cook my own pork chop yesterday, and I'm not used to it. My constitution will be giving way next. Besides, I had a very fair connexion at Brighton when I came here - little Pankey's folks alone were worth a good eighty pounds a-year to me - and I can't afford to throw it away. I've written to my niece, and she expects me by this time.'
'Have you spoken to my brother?' inquires Mrs Chick
'Oh, yes, it's very easy to say speak to him,' retorts Mrs Pipchin. 'How is it done? I called out to him yesterday, that I was no use here, and that he had better let me send for Mrs Richards. He grunted something or other that meant yes, and I sent. Grunt indeed! If he had been Mr Pipchin, he'd have had some reason to grunt. Yah! I've no patience with it!'
Here this exemplary female, who has pumped up so much fortitude and virtue from the depths of the Peruvian mines, rises from her cushioned property to see Mrs Chick to the door. Mrs Chick, deploring to the last the peculiar character of her brother, noiselessly retires, much occupied with her own sagacity and clearness of head.
In the dusk of the evening Mr Toodle, being off duty, arrives with Polly and a box, and leaves them, with a sounding kiss, in the hall of the empty house, the retired character of which affects Mr Toodle's spirits strongly.
'I tell you what, Polly, me dear,' says Mr Toodle, 'being now an ingine-driver, and well to do in the world, I shouldn't allow of your coming here, to be made dull-like, if it warn't for favours past. But favours past, Polly, is never to be forgot. To them which is in adversity, besides, your face is a cord'l. So let's have another kiss on it, my dear. You wish no better than to do a right act, I know; and my views is, that it's right and dutiful to do this. Good-night, Polly!'
Mrs Pipchin by this time looms dark in her black bombazeen skirts, black bonnet, and shawl; and has her personal property packed up; and has her chair (late a favourite chair of Mr Dombey's and the dead bargain of the sale) ready near the street door; and is only waiting for a fly-van, going to-night to Brighton on private service, which is to call for her, by private contract, and convey her home.
Presently it comes. Mrs Pipchin's wardrobe being handed in and stowed away, Mrs Pipchin's chair is next handed in, and placed in a convenient corner among certain trusses of hay; it being the intention of the amiable woman to occupy the chair during her journey. Mrs Pipchin herself is next handed in, and grimly takes her seat. There is a snaky gleam in her hard grey eye, as of anticipated rounds of buttered toast, relays of hot chops, worryings and quellings of young children, sharp snappings at poor Berry, and all the other delights of her Ogress's castle. Mrs Pipchin almost laughs as the fly-van drives off, and she composes her black bombazeen skirts, and settles herself among the cushions of her easy chair.
The house is such a ruin that the rats have fled, and there is not one left.
But Polly, though alone in the deserted mansion - for there is no companionship in the shut-up rooms in which its late master hides his head - is not alone long. It is night; and she is sitting at work in the housekeeper's room, trying to forget what a lonely house it is, and what a history belongs to it; when there is a knock at the hall door, as loud sounding as any knock can be, striking into such an empty place. Opening it, she returns across the echoing hall, accompanied by a female figure in a close black bonnet. It is Miss Tox, and Miss Tox's eyes are red.
'Oh, Polly,' says Miss Tox, 'when I looked in to have a little lesson with the children just now, I got the message that you left for me; and as soon as I could recover my spirits at all, I came on after you. Is there no one here but you?'
'Ah! not a soul,' says Polly.
'Have you seen him?' whispers Miss Tox.
'Bless you,' returns Polly, 'no; he has not been seen this many a day. They tell me he never leaves his room.'
'Is he said to be ill?' inquires Miss Tox.
'No, Ma'am, not that I know of,' returns Polly, 'except in his mind. He must be very bad there, poor gentleman!'
Miss Tox's sympathy is such that she can scarcely speak. She is no chicken, but she has not grown tough with age and celibacy. Her heart is very tender, her compassion very genuine, her homage very real. Beneath the locket with the fishy eye in it, Miss Tox bears better qualities than many a less whimsical outside; such qualities as will outlive, by many courses of the sun, the best outsides and brightest husks that fall in the harvest of the great reaper.
It is long before Miss Tox goes away, and before Polly, with a candle flaring on the blank stairs, looks after her, for company, down the street, and feels unwilling to go back into the dreary house, and jar its emptiness with the heavy fastenings of the door, and glide away to bed. But all this Polly does; and in the morning sets in one of those darkened rooms such matters as she has been advised to prepare, and then retires and enters them no more until next morning at the same hour. There are bells there, but they never ring; and though she can sometimes hear a footfall going to and fro, it never comes out.
Miss Tox returns early in the day. It then begins to be Miss Tox's occupation to prepare little dainties - or what are such to her - to be carried into these rooms next morning. She derives so much satisfaction from the pursuit, that she enters on it regularly from that time; and brings daily in her little basket, various choice condiments selected from the scanty stores of the deceased owner of the powdered head and pigtail. She likewise brings, in sheets of curl-paper, morsels of cold meats, tongues of sheep, halves of fowls, for her own dinner; and sharing these collations with Polly, passes the greater part of her time in the ruined house that the rats have fled from: hiding, in a fright at every sound, stealing in and out like a criminal; only desiring to be true to the fallen object of her admiration, unknown to him, unknown to all the world but one poor simple woman.
The Major knows it; but no one is the wiser for that, though the Major is much the merrier. The Major, in a fit of curiosity, has charged the Native to watch the house sometimes, and find out what becomes of Dombey. The Native has reported Miss Tox's fidelity, and the Major has nearly choked himself dead with laughter. He is permanently bluer from that hour, and constantly wheezes to himself, his lobster eyes starting out of his head, 'Damme, Sir, the woman's a born idiot!'
And the ruined man. How does he pass the hours, alone?
'Let him remember it in that room, years to come!' He did remember it. It was heavy on his mind now; heavier than all the rest.
'Let him remember it in that room, years to come! The rain that falls upon the roof, the wind that mourns outside the door, may have foreknowledge in their melancholy sound. Let him remember it in that room, years to come!'
He did remember it. In the miserable night he thought of it; in the dreary day, the wretched dawn, the ghostly, memory-haunted twilight. He did remember it. In agony, in sorrow, in remorse, in despair! 'Papa! Papa! Speak to me, dear Papa!' He heard the words again, and saw the face. He saw it fall upon the trembling hands, and heard the one prolonged low cry go upward.
He was fallen, never to be raised up any more. For the night of his worldly ruin there was no to-morrow's sun; for the stain of his domestic shame there was no purification; nothing, thank Heaven, could bring his dead child back to life. But that which he might have made so different in all the Past - which might have made the Past itself so different, though this he hardly thought of now - that which was his own work, that which he could so easily have wrought into a blessing, and had set himself so steadily for years to form into a curse: that was the sharp grief of his soul.
Oh! He did remember it! The rain that fell upon the roof, the wind that mourned outside the door that night, had had foreknowledge in their melancholy sound. He knew, now, what he had done. He knew, now, that he had called down that upon his head, which bowed it lower than the heaviest stroke of fortune. He knew, now, what it was to be rejected and deserted; now, when every loving blossom he had withered in his innocent daughter's heart was snowing down in ashes on him.
He thought of her, as she had been that night when he and his bride came home. He thought of her as she had been, in all the home-events of the abandoned house. He thought, now, that of all around him, she alone had never changed. His boy had faded into dust, his proud wife had sunk into a polluted creature, his flatterer and friend had been transformed into the worst of villains, his riches had melted away, the very walls that sheltered him looked on him as a stranger; she alone had turned the same mild gentle look upon him always. Yes, to the latest and the last. She had never changed to him - nor had he ever changed to her - and she was lost.
As, one by one, they fell away before his mind - his baby- hope, his wife, his friend, his fortune - oh how the mist, through which he had seen her, cleared, and showed him her true self! Oh, how much better than this that he had loved her as he had his boy, and lost her as he had his boy, and laid them in their early grave together!
In his pride - for he was proud yet - he let the world go from him freely. As it fell away, he shook it off. Whether he imagined its face as expressing pity for him, or indifference to him, he shunned it alike. It was in the same degree to be avoided, in either aspect. He had no idea of any one companion in his misery, but the one he had driven away. What he would have said to her, or what consolation submitted to receive from her, he never pictured to himself. But he always knew she would have been true to him, if he had suffered her. He always knew she would have loved him better now, than at any other time; he was as certain that it was in her nature, as he was that there was a sky above him; and he sat thinking so, in his loneliness, from hour to hour. Day after day uttered this speech; night after night showed him this knowledge.
It began, beyond all doubt (however slow it advanced for some time), in the receipt of her young husband's letter, and the certainty that she was gone. And yet - so proud he was in his ruin, or so reminiscent of her only as something that might have been his, but was lost beyond redemption - that if he could have heard her voice in an adjoining room, he would not have gone to her. If he could have seen her in the street, and she had done no more than look at him as she had been used to look, he would have passed on with his old cold unforgiving face, and not addressed her, or relaxed it, though his heart should have broken soon afterwards. However turbulent his thoughts, or harsh his anger had been, at first, concerning her marriage, or her husband, that was all past now. He chiefly thought of what might have been, and what was not. What was, was all summed up in this: that she was lost, and he bowed down with sorrow and remorse.
And now he felt that he had had two children born to him in that house, and that between him and the bare wide empty walls there was a tie, mournful, but hard to rend asunder, connected with a double childhood, and a double loss. He had thought to leave the house - knowing he must go, not knowing whither - upon the evening of the day on which this feeling first struck root in his breast; but he resolved to stay another night, and in the night to ramble through the rooms once more.
He came out of his solitude when it was the dead of night, and with a candle in his hand went softly up the stairs. Of all the footmarks there, making them as common as the common street, there was not one, he thought, but had seemed at the time to set itself upon his brain while he had kept close, listening. He looked at their number, and their hurry, and contention - foot treading foot out, and upward track and downward jostling one another - and thought, with absolute dread and wonder, how much he must have suffered during that trial, and what a changed man he had cause to be. He thought, besides, oh was there, somewhere in the world, a light footstep that might have worn out in a moment half those marks! - and bent his head, and wept as he went up.
He almost saw it, going on before. He stopped, looking up towards the skylight; and a figure, childish itself, but carrying a child, and singing as it went, seemed to be there again. Anon, it was the same figure, alone, stopping for an instant, with suspended breath; the bright hair clustering loosely round its tearful face; and looking back at him.
He wandered through the rooms: lately so luxurious; now so bare and dismal and so changed, apparently, even in their shape and size. The press of footsteps was as thick here; and the same consideration of the suffering he had had, perplexed and terrified him. He began to fear that all this intricacy in his brain would drive him mad; and that his thoughts already lost coherence as the footprints did, and were pieced on to one another, with the same trackless involutions, and varieties of indistinct shapes.
He did not so much as know in which of these rooms she had lived, when she was alone. He was glad to leave them, and go wandering higher up. Abundance of associations were here, connected with his false wife, his false friend and servant, his false grounds of pride; but he put them all by now, and only recalled miserably, weakly, fondly, his two children.
Everywhere, the footsteps! They had had no respect for the old room high up, where the little bed had been; he could hardly find a clear space there, to throw himself down, on the floor, against the wall, poor broken man, and let his tears flow as they would. He had shed so many tears here, long ago, that he was less ashamed of his weakness in this place than in any other - perhaps, with that consciousness, had made excuses to himself for coming here. Here, with stooping shoulders, and his chin dropped on his breast, he had come. Here, thrown upon the bare boards, in the dead of night, he wept, alone - a proud man, even then; who, if a kind hand could have been stretched out, or a kind face could have looked in, would have risen up, and turned away, and gone down to his cell.
When the day broke he was shut up in his rooms again. He had meant to go away to-day, but clung to this tie in the house as the last and only thing left to him. He would go to-morrow. To-morrow came. He would go to-morrow. Every night, within the knowledge of no human creature, he came forth, and wandered through the despoiled house like a ghost. Many a morning when the day broke, his altered face, drooping behind the closed blind in his window, imperfectly transparent to the light as yet, pondered on the loss of his two children. It was one child no more. He reunited them in his thoughts, and they were never asunder. Oh, that he could have united them in his past love, and in death, and that one had not been so much worse than dead!
Strong mental agitation and disturbance was no novelty to him, even before his late sufferings. It never is, to obstinate and sullen natures; for they struggle hard to be such. Ground, long undermined, will often fall down in a moment; what was undermined here in so many ways, weakened, and crumbled, little by little, more and more, as the hand moved on the dial.
At last he began to think he need not go at all. He might yet give up what his creditors had spared him (that they had not spared him more, was his own act), and only sever the tie between him and the ruined house, by severing that other link -
It was then that his footfall was audible in the late housekeeper's room, as he walked to and fro; but not audible in its true meaning, or it would have had an appalling sound.
The world was very busy and restless about him. He became aware of that again. It was whispering and babbling. It was never quiet. This, and the intricacy and complication of the footsteps, harassed him to death. Objects began to take a bleared and russet colour in his eyes. Dombey and Son was no more - his children no more. This must be thought of, well, to-morrow.
He thought of it to-morrow; and sitting thinking in his chair, saw in the glass, from time to time, this picture:
A spectral, haggard, wasted likeness of himself, brooded and brooded over the empty fireplace. Now it lifted up its head, examining the lines and hollows in its face; now hung it down again, and brooded afresh. Now it rose and walked about; now passed into the next room, and came back with something from the dressing-table in its breast. Now, it was looking at the bottom of the door, and thinking.
Hush! what? It was thinking that if blood were to trickle that way, and to leak out into the hall, it must be a long time going so far. It would move so stealthily and slowly, creeping on, with here a lazy little pool, and there a start, and then another little pool, that a desperately wounded man could only be discovered through its means, either dead or dying. When it had thought of this a long while, it got up again, and walked to and fro with its hand in its breast. He glanced at it occasionally, very curious to watch its motions, and he marked how wicked and murderous that hand looked.
Now it was thinking again! What was it thinking?
Whether they would tread in the blood when it crept so far, and carry it about the house among those many prints of feet, or even out into the street.
It sat down, with its eyes upon the empty fireplace, and as it lost itself in thought there shone into the room a gleam of light; a ray of sun. It was quite unmindful, and sat thinking. Suddenly it rose, with a terrible face, and that guilty hand grasping what was in its breast. Then it was arrested by a cry - a wild, loud, piercing, loving, rapturous cry - and he only saw his own reflection in the glass, and at his knees, his daughter!
Yes. His daughter! Look at her! Look here! Down upon the ground, clinging to him, calling to him, folding her hands, praying to him.
'Papa! Dearest Papa! Pardon me, forgive me! I have come back to ask forgiveness on my knees. I never can be happy more, without it!'
Unchanged still. Of all the world, unchanged. Raising the same face to his, as on that miserable night. Asking his forgiveness!
'Dear Papa, oh don't look strangely on me! I never meant to leave you. I never thought of it, before or afterwards. I was frightened when I went away, and could not think. Papa, dear, I am changed. I am penitent. I know my fault. I know my duty better now. Papa, don't cast me off, or I shall die!'
He tottered to his chair. He felt her draw his arms about her neck; he felt her put her own round his; he felt her kisses on his face; he felt her wet cheek laid against his own; he felt - oh, how deeply! - all that he had done.
Upon the breast that he had bruised, against the heart that he had almost broken, she laid his face, now covered with his hands, and said, sobbing:
'Papa, love, I am a mother. I have a child who will soon call Walter by the name by which I call you. When it was born, and when I knew how much I loved it, I knew what I had done in leaving you. Forgive me, dear Papa! oh say God bless me, and my little child!'
He would have said it, if he could. He would have raised his hands and besought her for pardon, but she caught them in her own, and put them down, hurriedly.
'My little child was born at sea, Papa I prayed to God (and so did Walter for me) to spare me, that I might come home. The moment I could land, I came back to you. Never let us be parted any more, Papa. Never let us be parted any more!'
His head, now grey, was encircled by her arm; and he groaned to think that never, never, had it rested so before.
'You will come home with me, Papa, and see my baby. A boy, Papa. His name is Paul. I think - I hope - he's like - '
Her tears stopped her.
'Dear Papa, for the sake of my child, for the sake of the name we have given him, for my sake, pardon Walter. He is so kind and tender to me. I am so happy with him. It was not his fault that we were married. It was mine. I loved him so much.'
She clung closer to him, more endearing and more earnest.
'He is the darling of my heart, Papa I would die for him. He will love and honour you as I will. We will teach our little child to love and honour you; and we will tell him, when he can understand, that you had a son of that name once, and that he died, and you were very sorry; but that he is gone to Heaven, where we all hope to see him when our time for resting comes. Kiss me, Papa, as a promise that you will be reconciled to Walter - to my dearest husband - to the father of the little child who taught me to come back, Papa Who taught me to come back!'
As she clung closer to him, in another burst of tears, he kissed her on her lips, and, lifting up his eyes, said, 'Oh my God, forgive me, for I need it very much!'
With that he dropped his head again, lamenting over and caressing her, and there was not a sound in all the house for a long, long time; they remaining clasped in one another's arms, in the glorious sunshine that had crept in with Florence.
He dressed himself for going out, with a docile submission to her entreaty; and walking with a feeble gait, and looking back, with a tremble, at the room in which he had been so long shut up, and where he had seen the picture in the glass, passed out with her into the hall. Florence, hardly glancing round her, lest she should remind him freshly of their last parting - for their feet were on the very stones where he had struck her in his madness - and keeping close to him, with her eyes upon his face, and his arm about her, led him out to a coach that was waiting at the door, and carried him away.
Then, Miss Tox and Polly came out of their concealment, and exulted tearfully. And then they packed his clothes, and books, and so forth, with great care; and consigned them in due course to certain persons sent by Florence, in the evening, to fetch them. And then they took a last cup of tea in the lonely house.
'And so Dombey and Son, as I observed upon a certain sad occasion,' said Miss Tox, winding up a host of recollections, 'is indeed a daughter, Polly, after all.'
'And a good one!' exclaimed Polly.
'You are right,' said Miss Tox; 'and it's a credit to you, Polly, that you were always her friend when she was a little child. You were her friend long before I was, Polly,' said Miss Tox; 'and you're a good creature. Robin!'
Miss Tox addressed herself to a bullet-headed young man, who appeared to be in but indifferent circumstances, and in depressed spirits, and who was sitting in a remote corner. Rising, he disclosed to view the form and features of the Grinder.
'Robin,' said Miss Tox, 'I have just observed to your mother, as you may have heard, that she is a good creature.
'And so she is, Miss,' quoth the Grinder, with some feeling.
'Very well, Robin,' said Miss Tox, 'I am glad to hear you say so. Now, Robin, as I am going to give you a trial, at your urgent request, as my domestic, with a view to your restoration to respectability, I will take this impressive occasion of remarking that I hope you will never forget that you have, and have always had, a good mother, and that you will endeavour so to conduct yourself as to be a comfort to her.'
'Upon my soul I will, Miss,' returned the Grinder. 'I have come through a good deal, and my intentions is now as straightfor'ard, Miss, as a cove's - '
'I must get you to break yourself of that word, Robin, if you Please,' interposed Miss Tox, politely.
'If you please, Miss, as a chap's - '
'Thankee, Robin, no,' returned Miss Tox, 'I should prefer individual.'
'As a indiwiddle's,' said the Grinder.
'Much better,' remarked Miss Tox, complacently; 'infinitely more expressive!'
' - can be,' pursued Rob. 'If I hadn't been and got made a Grinder on, Miss and Mother, which was a most unfortunate circumstance for a young co - indiwiddle.'
'Very good indeed,' observed Miss Tox, approvingly.
' - and if I hadn't been led away by birds, and then fallen into a bad service,' said the Grinder, 'I hope I might have done better. But it's never too late for a - '
'Indi - ' suggested Miss Tox.
' - widdle,' said the Grinder, 'to mend; and I hope to mend, Miss, with your kind trial; and wishing, Mother, my love to father, and brothers and sisters, and saying of it.'
'I am very glad indeed to hear it,' observed Miss Tox. 'Will you take a little bread and butter, and a cup of tea, before we go, Robin?'
'Thankee, Miss,' returned the Grinder; who immediately began to use his own personal grinders in a most remarkable manner, as if he had been on very short allowance for a considerable period.
Miss Tox, being, in good time, bonneted and shawled, and Polly too, Rob hugged his mother, and followed his new mistress away; so much to the hopeful admiration of Polly, that something in her eyes made luminous rings round the gas-lamps as she looked after him. Polly then put out her light, locked the house-door, delivered the key at an agent's hard by, and went home as fast as she could go; rejoicing in the shrill delight that her unexpected arrival would occasion there. The great house, dumb as to all that had been suffered in it, and the changes it had witnessed, stood frowning like a dark mute on the street; baulking any nearer inquiries with the staring announcement that the lease of this desirable Family Mansion was to be disposed of.
座落在那条长长的、沉闷无趣的街道中的那座宏伟的公馆,曾经是弗洛伦斯度过童年与孤独生活的地方,如今又发生了变化。它依旧是一座宏伟的公馆,经得起风吹雨打;屋顶没有裂缝,窗子没有损坏,墙壁没有坍塌,可是它却是个废墟了,耗子从里面飞快地跑出来。
托林森先生和其他仆人最初对他们所听到的那些传说纷纭的谣言难以置信。厨娘说,谢天谢地,我们主人的名誉不是那么容易损害的;托林森先生料想还会听到英格兰银行将要倒闭或保存在伦敦塔中的宝石将要变卖的消息。可是随后不久《公报》①寄到了,珀奇先生也来了;珀奇先生把珀奇太太一道带来,在厨房里谈论这件事情,度过了一个愉快的夜晚。
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①公报(Gazette):指英国政府1966年以后出版的公报,上面登载政府文告、官员的任命与调动、法律事务以及宣布破产等消息。
当这桩事情已经没有任何疑问的时候,托林森先生主要担心的是这次破产准是一笔巨大的金额——不少于十万镑。珀奇先生本人认为十万镑未必就能抵偿债务。以珀奇太太和厨娘为首的妇女们不时重复地说道,“十万镑,”,“十万镑”,那种得意的神气,真仿佛说出这几个字就跟手里拿到这些钱一样似的;注意着托林森先生的女仆但愿她能有这笔钱的百分之一,那样她就可以把它赠给她的意中人了;托林森依旧对过去所受的委屈耿耿于怀,就发表意见说,一位外国人有了这么多钱,除非把它花在连鬓胡子上,否则真不知道该拿它怎么办;这几句尖酸刻薄的挖苦话把女仆说得眼泪汪汪地离开了。
不过她出去没多久;因为厨娘素有心地特别善良的名声,她说,托林森,他们现在无论如何,都必须好好相处,相互支持才好,因为现在很难说,他们有多快就要分手了。厨娘说,他们在这座公馆里曾经见过一次丧葬、一次结婚,一次私奔;不要让人说他们像现在这种时刻还不能和睦相处。珀奇太太听了这番感人肺腑的话,深受感动,当众把厨娘称作天使。托林森先生回答厨娘说,他决不会妨碍这样善良的感情,而只会欢迎它;他说完就出去寻找女仆,不一会儿就挽着那位年轻姑娘的胳膊回来了;他告诉厨房里的人说,刚才关于外国人的话他只是说着开开玩笑而已;他与安妮已决定今后同甘共苦,在牛津市场里开设一个蔬菜水果店,兼卖药草和水蛭;他特别请求在场的各位多多光顾。这一宣布受到了热烈的欢呼;珀奇太太的心灵飞到了未来,在厨娘的耳朵旁一本正经地低声说道,“让他们多生几个女孩子!”。
这个家庭每发生一桩不幸的事件,在地下室里总少不了要大吃大喝一番。因此厨娘为这顿晚饭匆忙准备了一两盘热菜,托林森先生也调制了一个龙虾色拉来招待大家。甚至皮普钦太太—也由于发生了这个事件,心情激动,摇了铃,吩咐厨房里的人,把剩下的一小块小羊胰脏热一热,给她当晚饭,并和四分之一杯加上糖和香料,并将烫热的雪利酒(加上糖和香料)一起放在托盘里一起端给她;因为她的情绪坏透了。
他们也稍稍谈到了董贝先生,但是谈得很少。大家主要是猜测他多久以前就已知道将会发生这样的事情。厨娘机灵地说道,“啊,他老早就知道了。哎呀!这一点您是可以发誓的!”大家请珀奇先生发表意见,他对她的看法表示赞同。有人说,不知道董贝先生将怎么办,他会不会出走。托林森先生认为不会,照他看来,董贝先生可以到那些为上流社会人士开设的救济院去寻求庇护。“啊,您知道,他在那里将会有他自己的小菜园,”厨娘悲叹地说道,“春天可以栽种香豌豆。”
“完全不错,”托林森先生说,“还可以当个什么会的会友。”
“我们全都是会友,”珀奇太太停止喝酒,说道。“姐妹们除外,”珀奇先生说道。“伟大的人物是怎样垮台的啊,”厨娘说道。
“高傲一定是要垮台的。过去一直是这样,将来也会这样!”女仆说道。
当他们发表这些意见的时候,他们感到他们自己是多么善良;当他们听天由命地忍受着这共同的冲击时又表现出基督徒何等同心同德的精神,这是令人惊奇的。这种极好的心情只有一次被打乱了,那是一位年轻的、身份低下的、穿黑长袜的帮厨女工引起的;她张着嘴坐了很长一段时间之后,出乎意料地从嘴里说出了大意是这样的一句话:“如果他不发工资的话!”一时间这群人哑口无言地坐着,但厨娘首先恢复过来,她转过身子对着那位女人,想要知道,她怎么敢用这样一种无情无义的猜疑来侮辱这个她靠它吃饭的家庭,是不是她认为,任何一位还留有一点点道义的人居然能把他们可怜的仆人的菲薄的收入都剥夺掉吗?“因为,如果那是您的宗教感情的话,玛丽•道斯,”厨娘激昂地说道,“我不知道您打算走向哪里去。”
托林森先生也不知道,任何人也不知道,那位年轻的帮厨女工本人好像也不完全知道;在一片讥笑声中,她好像被一件外衣笼罩着似的,被慌乱的情绪笼罩着。
过了几天以后,陌生的人们开始在这座房屋中出现,并在餐厅里相互约定见面的时间,仿佛他们是住在这里似的。特别是,有一位面貌像犹太—阿拉伯人的先生,佩着一条很大的表链,在客厅里吹着口哨;当他在等待另一位经常在口袋里带着笔和墨水瓶的先生的时候,他问托林森先生(随随便便地称他为“老公鸡”),他是不是知道,这些深红色、夹织金丝的帘子新买来的时候花了多少钱。到屋子里来的人和在客厅里相互约会的事情每天愈来愈多,每一位先生似乎在口袋里都带着笔和墨水瓶,而且有时还使用它们。最后传说将要有一次拍卖,于是更多的人来了;他们口袋中带着笔和墨水瓶,并指挥着一队戴着毡制便帽的工人;这些工人立即拉起地毯,移动家具,并在前厅和楼梯上留下几千双鞋印。
地下室的人们这些时候一直在秘密地开着会议,而且由于没有什么事好做,就开出丰盛的宴席,大吃大喝。终于有一天,他们全体被召集到皮普钦太太的房间里;这位秘鲁美人这样对他们说:
“你们的主人正处在困境中,”皮普钦太太尖酸地说道,“我想,你们知道了吧?”
托林森充当代言人,承认他们都已知道这个事实了。
“毫无疑问,你们都已在找工作了,”皮普钦太太向他们摇摇头,说道。
后面的一排中有一个尖锐的喊道,“不比您本人找得多!”
“那是您的想法,是不是,厚颜无耻的太太?”忿怒的皮普钦太太射出烈焰般的眼光,越过中间的头顶望过去。
“是的,皮普钦太太,我是这样想的,”厨娘向前走去,回答道。“那又怎么样呢,请问?”
“唔,那您就可以走了,您愿意多早走就多早走,”皮普钦太太说道,“走得愈早愈好;我希望,我永远不再看到您的脸孔了。”
英勇无畏的皮普钦太太说了这些话之后,就拿出了一只帆布袋,读出了她到那天为止外加一个月的工资;然后紧紧地握着钱,直到那张收据的签字符合要求,签完最后一笔,她才很舍不得地放开了手。皮普钦太太对家里每一位仆人都重复进行了同样的手续,直到所有人的工资都支付完毕为止。
“现在那些愿意走的人就请准备走吧,”皮普钦太太说道,“那些愿意留下的人可以在这里再吃住一个星期左右,并做一些有益的工作。但是,”怒火高烧的皮普钦太太说道,“那位当厨娘的混帐女人除外,她必须立刻就走。”
“她一定会走的!”厨娘说道,“我祝您好!皮普钦太太,我还真诚地希望,我要是能对您的花容月貌恭维一番就好了!”
“快滚开,”皮普钦太太跺着脚,说道。
厨娘摆出一副使皮普钦太太十分恼怒的、仁慈而尊严的神态,离开了房间;不一会儿,她的盟友们就跟她在地下室里聚集在一起了。
然后托林森先生说,首先他建议先吃一点快餐;吃完快餐之后,他想提出一个他认为符合他们目前处境的建议。饮食端上来了,而且被很痛快地吃喝了之后,托林森先生所提的建议是,厨娘就要走了,如果我们对我们自己不真诚相待的话,那么没有任何人会对我们真诚相待的。我们在这屋子里居住了很长久的时间,一直努力保持着和睦友好的关系(这时厨娘激动地说道,“听哪!听哪!说得多好!”这时又参加到他们中间、饱到喉咙眼的珀奇太太流出了眼泪);他认为,现在他们的感情应该是:“一个人走,所有的人都一起走。”这种慷慨无私的感情使女仆十分感动,她热情地表示附议。厨娘说,她觉得这是正确的,但只希望这样做并不是为了对她表示恭维,而是出于一种责任感。托林森先生回答说,是的,这是出于一种责任感;还说如果现在非要让他发表意见不可的话,那么他将会直率地说,他认为,继续留在一个正在进行拍卖等类活动的公馆里,不是一件太体面的事情。女仆对这点深信不疑,为了证实这点,她说,有一位戴毡制便帽的陌生人就在今天早上想在楼梯上跟她亲嘴;托林森先生听到这里立即从椅子中跳起来,想去寻找那位罪犯并“把他杀死”;这时妇女们把他拉住,恳求他冷静下来,思考一下,还是立刻离开发生这种下流事情的房屋为好,那要容易得多,也明智得多;珀奇太太从另外一个角度来考虑问题;她认为,即使是对关在自己房间里的董贝先生表示关心体贴来说,也必须要求火速离开这里。“因为,”这位善良的女人说道,“如果他突然碰见了这些可怜的仆人中的任何一位的话,那么他的感情该会是怎么样啊!他们曾经一度被人欺骗过,以为他富得不得了呢!”这种道义上的考虑使厨娘大受感动;珀奇太太就引用了一些新颖的、精选的虔诚的道理来进一步完善她的说法。情况变得十分清楚:他们必须全都走。于是大家把箱子捆好了,并把马车叫来,那天薄暮的时候,这群人中没有一个留下来了。
这座宽敞的、经得起风吹雨打的公馆矗立在那条长长的、沉寂无趣的街道中,但它却是一个废墟了,耗子从里面飞快地跑出来。
戴毡制便帽的工人继续在搬移家具;带着笔和墨水瓶的先生们开列出家具清单;他们在决不是用来坐人的家具上坐着,在决不是用来吃东西的家具上吃着从酒吧买来的面包和乳酪,而且似乎感到,把那些贵重的物品硬派作奇怪的用途是一件乐趣。家具被杂乱无章地摆放着;褥垫和床上用品出现在餐厅里;玻璃器具和瓷器进入了暖房;大型的成套餐具被堆放在大客厅中的长沙发椅子上;夹楼梯地毯的金属线被捆成一小束,装饰着大理石的壁炉架。最后,从阳台上挂出一块小地毯,上面还有印好的说明书;还有一个类似的装饰品垂悬在前厅正门的两旁。
然后,一长列生了霉的轻便二轮马车和二轮运货马车整天在街上徐徐移动着;一群群衣衫褴褛的吸血鬼、犹太人和基督徒群集在屋子里,他们用指关节敲敲平板玻璃的镜子,在大钢琴上弹敲着不谐和的八度音,用湿漉漉的食指在图画上乱划,在最好的餐刀的刀口上吹气,用肮脏的拳头在椅子和沙发的厚垫子上捶打,把羽毛褥垫弄乱,把所有的抽屉都打开又关上,在手掌上掂掂银匙和银叉的重量,细细观察绸缎与亚麻布的每一根线,然后对所有的东西都指责一通。整个屋子没有一个秘密的地方。胡子拉碴、脸被鼻烟弄脏了的陌生人细看着烹饪用炉,就跟看顶楼里的衣橱一样好奇。壮汉们戴着磨去了绒毛的帽子,从卧室的窗子里向外看,并跟街上的朋友们开玩笑。冷静的、精于计算的人们拿着物品目录,退到化妆室里,用铅笔头在上面记着旁注。两位经纪人甚至闯进了太平门,从屋顶上面附近一带地方进行全景眺望。川流不息的人群、闹闹哄哄的喧声、上上下下的奔忙持续了好几天。上等时髦家具公司正在陈列物品,供大家参观。
然后,在最豪华的餐厅里用桌子围成一个栅栏;精美的、漆了法国漆、曲腿的西班牙红木餐桌排成长长的一列;在这些餐桌上面竖起了拍卖人的台子;成群的衣衫褴褛的吸血鬼、犹太人和基督徒,胡子拉碴、脸被鼻烟弄脏了的陌生人,戴着磨去了绒毛的帽子的壮汉们,聚集在它的周围;他们坐在近旁的每件东西(包括壁炉台)上,开始喊价。房间里整天热气腾腾,嘈杂,灰尘飞扬,而在这些热气、杂音和灰尘之上,拍卖人的头、肩膀、嗓子和槌子一直在不停地工作着;戴毡制便帽的工人们忙忙碌碌地搬抬着物品,疲累心烦,脾气变得特别坏;可是物品仍然在被搬着,搬着,搬走了,同时又仍然不断地被搬进来。有时可以听到开心逗趣和哄堂大笑。这种情形持续了整整一天和随后接着的三天。上等时髦家具公司正在拍卖。
然后,生了霉的二轮轻便马车和二轮运货马车又开来了,跟它们一起来的还有有弹簧的搬运车和四轮运货马车,还有一大群携带着绳子的搬运夫。戴毡制便帽的工人从早到晚拧着改锥和铁钳,或者十几个人在沉重的负担下,脚步不稳、摇摇晃晃地走下楼梯,或者把像岩石般沉重的西班牙红木、上等的黄檀木或平板玻璃搬进二轮轻便马车、四轮运货马车、搬运车和手推车中。所有的运输工具都被动用了,从有篷盖的运货马车到独轮手推车。可怜的保罗的小床架是放在一个小单轴双轮马车中拉走的。将近一个星期,上等时髦家具公司都在搬运物品。
终于,所有的物品都被搬走了。除了散乱的目录的纸页、零零落落的稻草和干草的碎株和前厅门后的一套白镴壶外,屋子里没有什么东西留下了。戴毡制帽的工人们收拾好他们的改锥和铁钳,装进袋子,扛着它们,离开了。带着笔和墨水瓶的先生们当中的一位把整个房屋贴上一张出租这座上好的公馆的招贴,关上了百叶窗。最后,他跟着戴毡制便帽的工人出去了。所有曾经闯进这个屋子里来的人,没有一个留下来了;这座房屋是一个废墟了,耗子从里面飞快地跑出来。
皮普钦太太的一套住房,以及一层楼中那些拉下窗帘、锁着的房间,幸免于被蹂躏。当这些活动在进行的时候,她森严地、木然无情地待在自己的房间中;或者在进行拍卖的时候偶尔出去看看,看那些货物是按什么价钱卖出去的;她还给一张安乐椅喊了一个价;这张安乐椅皮普钦太太喊的价最高。当奇克夫人前来看她的时候,她正坐在她的这个财产上。
“我的哥哥怎么样,皮普钦太太?”奇克夫人问道。“我不比魔鬼知道得更多,”皮普钦太太说道。“他从来不肯赏光跟我说话。他的饭菜和饮料都送到他房间旁边的一个房间里,当没有人在那里的时候,他就走出来取走。问我没有用。我知道南边热带国家中有一个人吃冷的葡萄干粥时竟把嘴烫伤了,可是我对他的情况并不比对这个热带国家的人的情况知道得更多。”
恶毒的皮普钦太太说这话的时候,肢体扭动了一下。
“可是天呀!”奇克夫人温和地喊道,“这要到什么时候才结束哪?如果我的哥哥不作出努力的话,皮普钦太太,那么他将怎么办呢?说实在的,我想这时候他已经完全明白,一个人不作出努力会有什么样的结果,用不着警告他提防犯那样致命的错误了。”
“哎呀!”皮普钦太太擦擦鼻子,说道,“我看,这是大惊小怪。这不是一件什么令人惊奇的事情。人们过去就遭遇过不幸,不得不跟他们的家具分离。不错,我就遭遇过这样的不幸!”
“我的哥哥,”奇克夫人意味深长地说道,“是一个多么异常——多么奇怪的人。他是我所见过的最异常的人。有谁能相信,当他听到他那个古怪的女儿结婚和移居国外的消息的时候——现在回忆起来,对我倒是一种安慰:过去我经常说,这个孩子有些反常的东西,可是谁也没有理会我的话——,我说,有谁能相信,他那时竟居然转过身来对我说,他曾经根据我的态度猜想,她到我的家里去了?啊,我的天!又谁能相信,我仅仅对他说,‘保罗,我可能很愚蠢;我也毫不怀疑,我是很愚蠢的,但是我不能明白,你的事情怎么能落到这个地步呢?’这时候他竟居然向我猛扑过来,要求我再也别去见他,除非他要我去的时候我再去!啊,我的天!”
“啊!”皮普钦太太说道,“可惜他没有跟矿井打交道。矿井会考验他的性格。”
“那么,”奇克夫人根本不管皮普钦太太的意见,继续说道,“这一切将怎样结束呢?这是我想知道的。我的哥哥打算做什么?他必须做点事情。继续关在他自己的房间里是没有用的。生意不会来到他的面前。不会的,他必须出去找它。那么他为什么不出去找呢!他这一辈子都在做生意,我想他是知道到哪里去找的。很好,那么为什么不到那里去找呢?”
奇克夫人锻造了这条有力的推理的链条之后,沉默了一会儿,进行自我赞赏。
“再说,”这位用心深远的夫人露出一副好争辩的神态,说道,“当这些可怕的、不愉快的事情正在进行的时候,他却把自己这样一直关在这里,有谁听说过有这种固执的脾气的吗?并不是仿佛他没有什么地方好去似的。当然,他可以到我们家里来。他在我们家里就像在自己家里一样,可以无拘无束,这一点我想他是知道的吧?奇克先生都为这感到非常抑郁不安了。我本人也亲口对他说过,‘啊,保罗,难道你当真以为,因为你的事情落到这个地步,你在像我们这样的近亲家中,就不能像在自己家里一样了吗?难道你以为我们会像社会上其他人们一样吗?’可是不行;他仍旧一直待在这里,从来没有走出去过。啊,老天,假定这房屋出租了!那时候他将怎么办?那时候他就不能再待在这里了。如果他还想待在这里的话,那么就会把他驱逐出去,就会对某某人提起诉讼①,以及这样一类事情了。那时候他就·必·须走。既然如此,何必不一开头就走,而非得拖到最后才走呢?这又使我回到我刚刚讲过的话来了,我自然要问,这件事将怎样结束呢?”

  --------

  ①原文为anactionforDoe,直译为“对都提起诉讼”。约翰·都(JohnDoe)和理查德·罗(RichardRoe)都是英国法律或正式文件上对假定人物所用的称呼,相当于某甲或某乙。

  “就·我来说,我知道这将怎样结束,”皮普钦太太回答道,“对我来说,知道这一点就够了。·我打算马上就离开这里。”

  “什么,皮普钦太太?”奇克夫人问道。

  “马上离开这里,”皮普钦太太明快果断地回答道。

  “啊,好吧!我确实不能责怪您,皮普钦太太,”奇克夫人坦率地说道。

  “如果您能责怪我的话,那么对我来说也是一样,”皮普钦太太讥笑地回答道。“不管怎么样,我就要走了。我不能停留在这里。要不我一个星期就会死去。昨天我必须亲自烧我的猪肉排骨,我是不习惯这样的。这样下去我的体质将会很快恶化。另外,当我到这里来的时候,我在布赖顿有很好的主顾——单是小潘基的亲属,一年就要支付我八十镑;我不能失去这样的主顾。我已经写信给我的侄女,她这时已经在等待着我了。”

  “您跟我的哥哥说了吗?”奇克夫人问道。

  “噢,说了,您问一声对他说了吗是很容易的,”皮普钦太太回答道,“可是这是怎么做到的呢?昨天我向他大声喊道,我在这里没有用了,他最好让我派人去把理查兹大娘请来。他咕哝了几句,表示同意,我就派人去请她了,他还咕哝呢,真是的!如果他是皮普钦先生的话,那么他倒还是有些理由要咕哝的罗。是的,我没有这份耐性来听他咕哝!”

  这位堪称楷模的女士曾经用泵从秘鲁矿井深处抽出了这么多坚强意志与美德,这时从她那个放上坐垫的财产中站立起来,把奇克夫人送到门口。奇克夫人对她哥哥的异常的性格叹息到最后一分钟之后,不声不响地离开了,同时不断地想着她自己聪明与清晰的头脑。

  那天薄暮的时候,图德尔先生因为已经下班,所以就伴送着波利和一只箱子一起来到,并在这座空荡荡的房屋里的前厅中吻了一个响吻之后,跟她和箱子告别了;房屋中萧条凄凉的景象强烈地影响了图德尔先生的情绪。

  “我跟你说,波利,我亲爱的,”图德尔先生说道,“我现在当上了火车司机,过上了富裕的生活;要不是看在过去的情分上的话,那么我无论如何也是不会答应你到这里来过这种沉闷无趣的日子的。但是过去的情分是决不应该忘记的,波利。再说,他们遭到了不幸,对他们来说,你的脸就是补药。所以让我再来吻它一次,我亲爱的。我知道,你最喜欢做好事;我看,做这件事是对的,应当的。再见,波利!”

  皮普钦太太这时穿着黑色的邦巴辛毛葛裙子,戴着黑色软帽,围着披肩,朦朦胧胧地呈现出一片黑色的形象;她私人的财产已经捆扎好了,她的椅子(董贝先生过去最心爱的椅子,是拍卖时用极为便宜的价钱买下来的)已经被搬到临街的大门,正在等待今天夜间驶往布赖顿去的、为私人服务的单马载货马车,它将按照私人合同开来把她送回家去。

  不一会儿,它来了。首先把皮普钦太太的全部服装送进车里,收拾妥当,然后把皮普钦太太的椅子送进去,安放在几束干草中间一个方便的角落里,因为这位可爱的女人想在旅途中坐在这张椅子里。接下来,是把皮普钦太太本人送了进去,神色阴沉地坐到她的位子上。在她冷酷的灰色眼睛中闪射出一丝阴险的光,好像她已预料到即将尝到涂有奶油的烤面包片和热排骨的滋味,并享受折磨与压制年幼的孩子们、责骂可怜的贝里以及在她那妖魔的城堡中的其他乐趣了。当单马载货马车离开这里的时候,皮普钦太太几乎大笑起来;她整整黑色的邦巴辛毛葛裙子,让自己在安乐椅的坐垫中间平静下来。

  这座房屋已完全成为一个废墟,耗子已全部从里面逃走了,没有一只留下。

  波利在这座荒废的公馆中虽然是孤单的——因为在这些关闭着的房间里(他过去的主人就躲藏在里面),她没有人可以来往交谈——,可是她并没有长久孤独下去。已经是夜间了;她在女管家的房子里正坐着缝补东西,想法忘掉这座房屋目前何等凄凉的情景和它过去何等荣耀的历史,这时候从前厅正门传来了敲门声;很响,只有在这样空虚无人的地方才能敲出这样响亮的。开门之后,她在一位戴着窄小的黑色帽子的女士的陪同下,穿过发出回声的前厅,走回来。这人是托克斯小姐。托克斯小姐的眼睛红了。

  “啊,波利,”托克斯小姐说道,“我刚才到您那里去给孩子们上课的时候,我得到您给我的口信;我稍稍安定了一下情绪,就立刻跟随着您到这里来了。这里除了您以外,没有别的人了吗?”

  “啊!一个人也没有了,”波利说道。

  “您见到他了没有?”托克斯小姐轻声问道。

  “上帝保佑您,”波利回答道,“没有;这许多日子他都没有露面。他们告诉我,他从不离开他的房间。”

  “他们有没有说,他病了?”托克斯小姐问道。

  “没有,夫人,据我了解,除了思想苦恼外,他没有病,”

  波利回答道,“可怜的先生,他思想上一定很不好受!”

  托克斯小姐万分同情,简直说不出话来。她不是个婴儿,但是年龄和独身生活并没有使她变得暴戾无情。她的心地是很和善的,她的怜悯心是很真诚的,她的尊敬是很真实的。在她的装有一颗没有光泽的眼睛的小金盒下面,托克斯小姐内心的品质比许多外表上不那么奇怪的人们更为高尚;那些最美丽的外表和最鲜艳的外壳在那伟大的收割者①进行收割的过程中都纷纷倒下了,而这种品质则要比它们长寿得多。

  --------

  ①指死亡。

  托克斯小姐待了好久才走,那时波利拿着一支蜡烛,照着没有了地毯的楼梯,目送着她走进街道,心里很不愿意再回到那冷冷清清的房屋,很不愿意闩上沉重的门闩,让它那震耳的打破屋中的寂静,然后悄悄地走去睡觉。可是这一切波利全都做了;到了早上,她在那些挂下窗帘、光线幽暗的房间中的一个房间里面,按照他们的建议,准备着饭菜等各种事情,然后离开,直到第二天早上同样的钟点才回到这里来。房间里有铃,但从来也没有听到它响过;虽然她有时可以听到走来走去的脚步声,可是那脚步却从来没有走出来过。

  第二天托克斯小姐很早就回到这里来了。从这天起,托克斯小姐开始准备美味的菜肴——或者对她来说是美味的菜肴——,以便在第二天送进这些房间里去,她把这当成她的一份工作。她从这个工作中得到很大的满足,所以从那时起就定时照例来做它。她每天在她的小篮子中带了各种上等的佐料来,那是她从那位头上撒了发粉、系了一根辫子的已故的主人留下的数量不多的储存中挑选出来的。她也带了用卷发纸包着的几片冷肉、羊舌头和半只鸡来,供她自己用餐;她和波利一起分享这些食品,并在这座耗子已全都逃走的废墟中度过她的大部分时间;每听到一个,她就惊恐得躲藏起来,并像犯人一样偷偷地进来和出去,这一切只是想要对那位她所爱慕的、已经破落的对象表示忠诚。他并不知道这个情况;除了一位可怜的、纯朴的妇女之外,全世界都不知道这个情况。

  可是少校知道,正因为没有人知道这个情况,少校就感到格外开心。少校在好奇心的驱使下,有时派本地人去观察这座公馆的动静,并打听到董贝目前的处境。本地人向他报告了托克斯小姐忠诚的表现,少校听后哈哈大笑,几乎都要窒息。从那时起,他的脸色更加发青,永不褪色,并且经常一边鼓着他那龙虾般的眼睛,一边呼哧呼哧地喘着气,自言自语说道,“他妈的,先生,这女人天生是个白痴!”

  那位穷困潦倒的人,是怎样孤独地度过他的时光的呢?

  “让他在未来的岁月中,在那个房间中,记得这个哭声吧!”他是记得的。它现在沉重地压在他的心头;比其余所有的一切都更沉重。

  “让他在未来的岁月中,在那个房间中,记得这个情景吧!雨在屋顶上下着,风在门外哀号,在它们忧郁的中也许已有了预知。让他在未来的岁月中,在那个房间中,记得这个情景吧!”

  他是记得这个情景的。在那痛苦的夜间,在那冷清的白天,在那折磨人的黎明,在那可怕的、回忆丛集的薄暮,他想到了这个情景;在苦恼中,在悲伤中,在悔恨中,在绝望中,他记得这个情景。“爸爸!爸爸!跟我说说话吧,亲爱的爸爸!”他又听到了这些话,看见了那张脸。他看到它垂落到颤抖的双手上,听到那拖长的、低微的哭声向上传来。

  他已经垮台了,永远也不能振作起来了。他在世上遭受破产的黑夜过去之后,明天不会升起太阳;他家庭耻辱的污点永远也无法洗净;谢谢上天,没有什么能使他死去的孩子复活。可是,他在过去是可以做出完全不同的事情来的——而这又可以使过去本身完全不同,虽然他现在很少想到这一点——;他本可以很容易创造幸福的,但他却多年来一意孤行,把它转变为灾祸了;这完全是他本人一手造成的;一想到这些,他内心深处就会感受到剧烈的痛苦。

  啊!他是记得这个情景的。那天夜里,雨在屋顶上下着,风在门外哀号,在它们忧郁的中已经有了预知。他现在知道他做了些什么事情。他现在知道是他招致了这场降临在他头上的灾祸,这比命运最沉重的打击更能使他的头往下低垂。他曾把他天真的女儿的心中的每一朵可爱的花朵都摧残掉,现在这些凋谢的花朵都像雪一般地落在他的身上;这时候他知道应该拒绝什么,抛弃什么了。

  他想到了她,当那天夜里他和他新婚的妻子回到家中时她的情形。他想到了她,在这座被遗弃的房屋中所发生过的所有事件中她的情形。他现在想到,在他周围的所有的人与物当中,只有她一个人从来没有改变过。他的儿子已经长眠在坟墓中;他的高傲的妻子已经堕落成为一个品性败坏的女人;他的谄媚者与朋友已经变为最可恶的坏蛋;他的财富已经消失;甚至连庇护他的墙壁也像陌生人一样地看着他。只有她一个人总是向他投来那同样温柔、亲切的眼光。是的,直到最近,而且一直到最后。她从来没有对他改变过——他也从来没有对她改变过——,他已经失去她了。

  当所有这些——他寄托在幼小儿子身上的希望。他的妻子,他的朋友,他的财产——一个个在他心中消失的时候,啊,他过去看见她时笼罩在她前面的迷雾是怎样消散的啊!她真正的面貌是怎样显示在他面前的啊!啊,如果他过去曾经爱她就像爱他的儿子一样,失去她就像失去他的儿子一样,并已把他们一起埋葬在他们早年的坟墓中的话,那么她呈现在他面前的情景就不会像现在这样清清楚楚了!

  他在高傲的情绪中——因为他仍然是高傲的——听任社会随意地离弃他。当社会抛开他的时候,他也把它摆脱掉。不论它的脸向他表示怜悯还是漠不关心,他都同样躲开它。不论是哪种情形,他都以同等程度避开它。除了他曾经赶走的那一个人外,他没有想到过任何人能成为他不幸中的伴侣。他将会对她说些什么,或者她会给他带来什么样的安慰,他都从来没有考虑过。但是他总是知道,如果他允许的话,那么她是会真诚地对待他的。他总是知道,她会比其它任何时候都更爱他;他同样可以肯定的是,她的天性就是这样的,这就跟他相信他的头顶是天空一样确凿无疑;他在孤独中坐在那里一个小时又一个小时地这样思考着。这些话一天又一天地向他诉说着;这种认识一夜又一夜地向他显示着。

  毫无疑问,在收到她年轻丈夫的信并肯定她已走了以后,这种情形就已开始了(不论曾有一段时候这一过程进行得多么缓慢)。然而——他在破家荡产的时候仍然是这么高傲,或者说当他记起她的时候,他只是把她当作一个本可以属于他、但却无法赎回地遗失了的东西一样来记起的——,如果他能在隔壁房间里听到她的的话,那么他也是不会走到她那里去的。如果他能在街道上看到她,她除了跟平时那样看他一下,不能再做别的事情的话,那么他就会露出他往日冷若冰霜、毫不宽恕的脸色从她身旁走过,不跟她讲话或改变一下脸上的表情的,虽然他的心不久就会破碎。不论他最初对她的婚姻或对她的丈夫在思想上曾激起多大的波澜,他的愤怒是多么强烈,但这一切现在都已过去了。他主要想到的是那本可以发生的事情和那实际上并没有发生的事情。实际上已经发生的事情,总的来说,就是:他已失去了她,并且他被悲伤与悔恨压倒了。

  现在他觉得他有两个孩子曾经在那座房屋中生下来;在他与那光秃的、宽阔的、空荡荡的墙壁之间,有一根令人伤心的,但却难以割断的纽带,它联结着两个童年和两重损失。当这个感觉最初在他心中扎下根来的时候,他曾经想在当天晚上就离开这座房屋——他知道他必须走,但不知道走到哪里去——;但是他决心再待一夜,在夜里再漫步穿过这些房间一次。

  在夜阑人静的时候,他从独自居住的地方走出来,手里拿着一支蜡烛,沿着楼梯轻轻地走上去。当他关在房中注意静听的时候,那些踩踏这些楼梯,就像踩踏普通街道一样留下的所有脚印中,他想当时似乎没有一个脚印不沉重地压在他的心头上的。他观察着它们的数目,它们匆忙行走和相互竞争的情形——一只脚印擦去了另一只脚印;向上走的和向下走的脚印相互排挤——,同时怀着无限的恐惧与惊异想到,在这次考验期间,他一定尝受了很多很多的痛苦,他自己也一定因此改变了很多很多。然后他又想,啊,在这世界上的一个什么地方是不是有一个轻轻的脚步,它可以在片刻间把这些脚印擦去一半!这时他低下了头,在走上去的时候哭泣着。

  他几乎看见它正在前面走着。他停住,向天窗仰望,一个人影儿似乎又在那里了;它自己也还是孩子气的,却抱着一个孩子,一边走一边唱歌。不一会儿,同样是那个人影儿,孤独一人,停下片刻,屏住呼吸,光亮的头发披散在眼泪汪汪的脸孔的周围,它往后看着他。

  他漫步穿过各个房间:它们不久以前是多么豪华,如今却是这么空虚,凄凉,甚至连形状与大小也好像发生了变化。这里的脚印与楼梯上的脚印同样密集,他同样想到了他曾尝受的痛苦,这使他感到困惑与恐怖。他开始害怕,他头脑中这些错综复杂的事物会驱使他发疯;他的思想已经跟那些脚印一样毫无条理,而且同样杂乱无章,多种多样,模糊不清地相互冲突。

  她独自一人时,是住在哪个房间,他连这一点也不知道。他高兴地离开这些房间,漫步向楼上走去。这里的一些房间,使他产生大量的联想,想到他不忠实的妻子,想到他不忠实的朋友与仆人,想到他的高傲建立在上面的不结实的基础;可是现在他把他们全都搁在一旁,而只是可怜地,忧伤地,慈爱地回忆他的两个孩子。

  到处都是脚印!它们对上面那个摆放小床的老房间也不宽恕;可怜的、伤心失望的人,他几乎找不到一块干净的地方可以侧身在靠墙的地板上,让他的眼泪尽情地流淌了。他好久以前在这里曾经流过许多眼泪,他觉得在这里流泪,自己因表现软弱而感到的羞愧会比在其他地方少一些,也许这种想法就是他到这里来的聊以自解的理由。他弯腰曲背,下巴低垂到胸前,来到了这里。他躺倒在这里光秃的地板上,在深更半夜里独自哭泣着。——甚至在这时候,他仍然是个高傲的人;如果有一只仁慈的手能向他伸过来,或者有一张仁慈的脸能向他看望一眼的话,那么他就会站起来,转身离开这里,回到楼下他的单人牢房里去。

  天亮的时候,他又关在他的房间里。他本想今天就离开,但是却紧紧地抓住这座房屋里这根纽带不放,它是留给他的最后的、也是唯一的东西。他将在明天走。明天来了。他将在另一个明天走。每天夜里,没有一个人知道,他走出自己的房间,像一个鬼似的,在这被洗劫一空的房间里漫步穿游。许多早晨,当黎明来临的时候,在光线仍旧可以不完全透进来的窗帘的后面,他那容颜改变了的脸向下低垂,默想着他两个孩子的失去。不再像过去那样,只想到失去一个孩子了。他在思想上已把他们联结在一起,他们永远也不分开了。啊,如果他能在过去的爱中和在死亡中把他们联结在一起,如果其中的一个人不曾比死亡坏得多的话,那该多好啊!

  甚至在他遭受那次不幸之前,精神上强烈的激动与烦乱对他来说也并不是新奇的事情。对于性格固执与阴沉的人们来说,情况永远是这样的;因为他们作出很大的努力来习惯这种情绪变化。长久在下面挖掘的地面常常会在片刻之间塌陷;这里,随着指针在钟面上的移动,地下的挖掘、削弱、破碎在一点一点地、愈来愈甚地进行着,那该怎样呢?

  最后他开始想,他根本不需要走。他还可以放弃他的债权人减免他的钱(他们之所以没有减免他更多的钱,是因为他没有提出这样的要求),而用切断那另一个联系的办法①来切断他与这破落的房屋之间的纽带——

  --------

  ①指董贝先生考虑自杀,来切断他与世界的联系。

  就是在这个时候,在他过去女管家的房间里可以听到他走来走去的脚步声;但并不是在真正的意义上可以听到,否则这些会吓人的。

  社会在他周围忙碌不停。他又知道了这点。它在窃窃私语,并在喋喋不休地议论。它永远也不安静。这种情况以及杂乱无章、错综复杂的脚步把他烦扰得要死。各种物体在他眼中开始呈现出模糊的、枯黄的颜色。董贝父子公司已经不存在了——他的孩子们也没有了。这一点他明天必须好好地思考一下。

  明天他思考了这一点。他坐在椅子中思考着,不时从镜子中看到了这样一幅图画:

  一个鬼怪似的、形容枯槁、身体衰弱、跟他十分相似的人,坐在没有生火的壁炉前面,郁闷地不断沉思着;有时他抬起头来细细看着他脸上的皱纹与凹陷的地方,然后又低垂下去,重新陷入沉思。有时他站起身来,来回踱步;有时他走进邻接的房间,从化妆台上取来一些东西回来。有时他看着门底下的缝隙,在想着。

  ——嘘!别出声!他在想什么?

  他在想,如果血沿着那个方向流出去的话,那么一定要经过很长的时间它才能渗漏到前厅里。它将会悄悄地、缓慢地蠕动着向前移行,在这里形成一个停滞的小洼,在那里又开始流动,然后又是另一个小洼;如果循着这条血路寻找的话,那么一个严重受伤的人只有当他已经死去或在气息奄奄的时候才能被发现。他把这个情况长时间地思考过以后又跳起来,把手伸进胸窝,来回走着。董贝先生偶尔向他看一眼,很好奇地注视着他的动作,他留意到那只手看上去是多么凶恶与残忍。

  那位跟他很相似的人这时又在想着!他在想什么?血渗流得那么远,他们会不会踩进这些血中,把血迹带到房屋各处的脚印中去,甚至带出到街上去?

  那人又坐下来,眼睛望着没有生火的壁炉;当他痴呆似地陷入沉思的时候,一缕光线照进了房间;一缕阳光。他坐在那里想着,对这丝毫也没有注意到。突然,他脸色可怕地站起来,那只罪恶的手紧抓着他怀中的什么东西;然后他被一个喊声吸引住了——一个疯狂似的,响亮的,打动人心的,充满深情的,欢天喜地的喊声——董贝先生在镜子里看到的是他自己的映像,在他的膝旁的是他的女儿。

  是的,他的女儿!看着她!看着这里!她跪在地上,紧贴着他,呼唤他,合着双手,向他祈求。

  “爸爸!最亲爱的爸爸!请原谅我、宽恕我吧!我已经回来,跪着请求您的宽恕。没有您的宽恕我将永远也不能幸福!”

  仍旧没有改变。在整个世界,只有她没有改变。就像那个不幸的夜间一样,她向他抬起那张同样的脸,向他请求宽恕!

  “亲爱的爸爸,啊,别那样奇怪地看着我吧!我从没有打算要离开您。我从来不曾想到要离开您,不论在以前还是在以后。当我离开您以后我感到惊恐,而且我不能思想。爸爸,亲爱的,我变了。我后悔了。我明白我的过失。我现在更懂得我的责任了。爸爸别抛弃我吧,否则我会死的!”

  他摇摇晃晃地走到他的椅子跟前。他感觉到她把他的胳膊拉到她的脖子上;他感觉到她把她自己的胳膊搂住他的脖子;他感觉到她吻他的脸;他感觉到她湿了的脸颊贴着他的脸颊;他感觉到了他过去所做的一切——啊,多么深刻地感觉到了啊!

  她把他的现在用双手捂着的脸拉到他曾经伤害过的那个胸脯上,靠近他曾经几乎撕裂的那个心上,抽抽嗒嗒地哭泣着,说道:

  “爸爸,亲爱的,我已经做母亲了。我有了一个孩子,他不久就会像我喊你那样地喊沃尔特了。当他出生的时候,当我知道我是多么爱他的时候,我知道我离开你以后做了什么了。请宽恕我吧,亲爱的爸爸!啊,你就说让上帝保佑我和我的小孩子吧!”

  如果他能说的话,那么他是会说的。他本想举起手来恳求她原谅,可是她却把它们抓在自己手中,并匆忙地放下。

  “我的小孩子是在海上出生的,爸爸。我祈求上帝保全我的生命(沃尔特也为我祈祷了),使我可以回家。我一登上岸,就立刻回到你这里来了。让我们永远不再分离吧,爸爸!”

  他现已灰白的头被她的胳膊搂抱着;他呻吟着想到,这头以前从没有在她的胳膊上搁过。

  “你将跟我一起到我的家里去,爸爸,去看看我的小婴儿。他是个男孩子,爸爸。他的名字叫保罗。我想——我希望——

  他像——”

  眼泪使她说不出话来了。

  “亲爱的爸爸,看在我孩子的分上,看在我们给他取的名字的分上,看在我的分上,请原谅沃尔特吧。他对我是那么温存,亲切。我跟他在一起是多么幸福。我们结婚并不是他的过失。这要怪我。我多么爱他啊。”

  她把他抱得更紧,更加亲热,更加热情洋溢。

  “他是我最心爱的人。我愿意为他而死。他将像我一样地爱你,尊敬你。我们将会教我们的小孩子爱你,尊敬你;当他能懂得的时候,我们将告诉他,你曾经有过一个跟他名字相同的儿子,后来死了,你非常悲伤;但是他是到天堂里去了,当需要我们安息的日子来临时,我们全都希望在那里看到他。亲亲我吧,爸爸,用这来表示你已答应跟沃尔特,跟我最亲爱的丈夫,跟那小孩子的父亲和好了;是他教我回来的,爸爸,是他教我回来的!”

  当她又眼泪汪汪,更紧地抱着他的时候,他吻了她的嘴唇,抬起眼睛,说道,“啊我的上帝,请宽恕我吧,因为我非常需要您的宽恕!”

  他说完这些话以后又低下头,对着她恸哭并爱抚着她;好久好久,整个屋子里没有一点;他们在随着弗洛伦斯一道悄悄射进的灿烂的阳光中,一直紧紧地拥抱在彼此的怀抱中。

  他心甘情愿地听从了她的请求,穿好衣服,准备出去;然后,他迈着无力的步子,身子哆嗦了一下,回头望望那间他曾经长久把自己关在里面、并在镜子里看见那幅图画的房间,然后跟她向外走到前厅。弗洛伦斯几乎没有向四周看,因为她害怕这会引起他清楚地回想起他们上一次离别的情景——因为他们的脚正踩在他在疯狂时曾经打了她的石板上——;她紧挨着他,眼睛看着他的脸,他的胳膊挽着她;她把他领出到一辆正在门口等待着的轿式马车里,马车把他拉走了。

  这时候,托克斯小姐和波利从她们躲藏的地方走出来,兴高采烈地流出了眼泪。然后她们十分细心地把他的衣服、书本等等东西捆好,把它们及时地交给几个弗洛伦斯在晚上派去收领的人。然后她们在这寂寞的房屋中喝了最后一杯茶。

  “因此,波利,正像我有一次在一个悲伤的场合说过的,”托克斯小姐结束了许多回忆之后说,“董贝父子到头来实际上是董贝父女。”

  “一个很好的女儿!”波利大声说道。

  “您说得对,”托克斯小姐说,“这是您的光荣,波利;当她是个小孩子的时候,您经常是她的朋友;在我成为她的朋友之前好久,您就是她的朋友了,”托克斯小姐说,“您是个好人儿。罗宾!”

  托克斯小姐转向一位圆头的年轻人,跟他说话;他看来境况不佳,情绪低沉,正坐在一个远远的角落里。当他站起来的时候,磨工的身形与面貌就显露出来了。

  “罗宾,”托克斯小姐说,“我刚才跟您妈妈说,她是个好人儿,您可能已听见了。”

  “她确实是的,小姐,”磨工带几分感情,说道。

  “很好,罗宾,”托克斯小姐说道,“我听您这么说很高兴。现在,罗宾,在您坚持的请求下,我将给您一个考验,让您当我的仆人,为的是使您恢复端正的品行,使人们尊敬您;由于这个缘故,我将借这个令人难忘的机会,提一点意见:我希望您将永远也不要忘记,您有,而且一直来就有一位好妈妈;您将努力好好为人处事,使您本人成为您妈妈的一个安慰。”

  “我以灵魂发誓,我将努力去做,小姐,”磨工回答道,“我经历了好多事情;我现在的心意就像一个小伙子那么善良——”

  “如果您愿意的话,罗宾,那么我想请您把那个词改换一下”托克斯小姐彬彬有礼地打断他说。

  “这样说好吗,小姐,就像一个小家伙那么——”

  “谢谢您,罗宾,不那么说,”托克斯小姐回答道,“我觉得说一个人比较好。”

  “就像一个人那么善良,”磨工说道。

  “这就好多了,”托克斯小姐满意地说道,“这样表现力就强多了。”

  “请听我说,小姐,还有您,妈妈,”罗布继续说道,“如果他们没有让我去当磨工的话,唉,那对一个小——对一个人来说真是一件倒霉透顶的事情。”

  “很好,”托克斯小姐赞赏地说道。

  “——而且如果我没有被鸟儿引迷了路,然后落到一位坏主人手里,帮他做坏事的话,”磨工说道,“那么我想,我的所做所为本可能会好一些的。不过现在对一个——”

  “人——”托克斯小姐提示道。

  “现在对一个人来说改正也还不迟,”磨工说道,“我希望通过您的善意的考验来改过,小姐;还有您,妈妈,请向爸爸、还有弟弟们、妹妹们代为问好,并请把我的这些话转告他们。”

  “听到您说这些话我真是很高兴,”托克斯小姐说道,“在我们离开之前您吃点面包、黄油,再喝一杯茶好吗,罗宾?”

  “谢谢您,小姐。”磨工回答道;他立即开始极为出色地转动起他个人专用的磨盘,仿佛他已经忍饥挨饿好长久了。

  托克斯小姐及时地戴上了软帽,披上了披肩;波利同样也穿戴好了,这时罗布紧紧拥抱了他的母亲,并跟着他的新的女主人离开;波利看到这些情况,心中产生了美好的希望;当她目送着他离开的时候,她眼中的什么东西使得煤气灯周围好像有一个明亮的光环围绕着似的。然后波利吹灭了蜡烛,锁上了这座房屋的门,把钥匙交给附近的一个经理人,尽快地向她自己的家里走去;她想到她这意想不到的到达将会给家里带去多么强烈的欢乐时,心中高兴极了。这座宏伟的房屋对曾在里面发生过的一切痛苦以及它所目睹的一切变化都保持着沉默;它像一位被雇用的送丧人那样,皱着眉头,站在街道上,不等提出问题就预先瞪着眼睛宣告,这座人人称羡的公馆正等待着出租。
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