【完结】暮光之城之一《暮色》_派派后花园

ZxID：13286336

等级: 内阁元老

配偶: 四和七

离开时才明白，真的只有一个人走。

举报只看该作者 20楼发表于: 2012-08-16 0

第二十一章电话

第二十一章电话

当我醒来的时候，我发觉时间还太早。我知道自己正在慢慢地颠倒着昼夜的作息时间。我躺在床上，听着爱丽丝和贾斯帕在另一间屋子里安静的说话声。他们的说话声居然大到我能听见的程度，这点很奇怪。我翻滚着身子，直到自己的脚落到地板上，然后步履蹒跚地走到起居室里。

电视机上的时钟显示着现在是凌晨两点。爱丽丝和贾斯帕一起坐在沙发上，爱丽丝又开始画速写了，而贾斯帕正越过她的肩膀看着。当我进屋的时候，他们没有抬头，只是全神贯注地看着爱丽丝的作品。

我挪动步子，走到贾斯帕身旁窥视着。

“她又看见了别的东西？”我安静地问他。

“是的。出于某种原因，他带着那盘录像带回到了那个房间，但那个房间现在亮起来了。”

我看着爱丽丝画出一个方形的房间，暗色的横梁在低矮的天花板上交错着。墙上嵌着木板，嵌板的颜色有点发黑，样式很过时了。地板上铺着一块暗色调的地毯，上面只有一个图案。南面的墙上有一扇大大的窗，西面的墙被打通了，一直通向起居室。那个入口的一侧是石砌的——那是一个巨大的棕褐色的壁炉，同时通向两个房间。就这个视角而言，这个房间的焦点是摆在屋子西南角那张太小的木架子上的，那台电视和录像机。一套有些年头的组合沙发环绕在电视机前，一张圆咖啡桌摆在沙发组前。

“电话在这里。”我用指尖点着，低声说道。

两双永恒的眼睛盯着我。

“这是我妈妈的房子。”
爱丽丝早已从沙发上跳起来，手里抓着手机，开始拨号。我盯着对我妈妈家的房间的精准无比的素描。贾斯帕一反常态地滑到我身旁更近的地方。他轻轻地把手放到我鉴赏，而这实际上的接触似乎把他的冷静更加强烈地输送到我身上。恐惧漫无目的地凝聚在原处。

爱丽丝的嘴唇颤抖着，飞快地说着话，我根本听不懂那低低的嗡嗡声。我没法集中注意力。

“贝拉。”爱丽丝说道。我木然地看着她。

“贝拉，爱德华会来接你。他和艾美特还有卡莱尔会来带你去某个地方，让你躲上一阵子。”

“爱德华要来？”这句话像一件救生衣，把我的脑子从滚滚洪流里拉了出来。

“是的，他将搭乘从西雅图起飞的第一班机。我们会在机场和他碰面，然后你跟他走。”

“可是，我妈妈……他来这里找我妈妈，爱丽丝！”尽管有贾斯帕在，我的声音依然因为竭斯底里而崩溃着。

“贾斯帕和我会留在这里，直到她安全无虞为止。”

“我逃不掉的，爱丽丝。你们不可能一直守卫着我认识的每一个人。你看不出来他在做什么吗？他根本没在跟踪我。他会找到某个人，他会伤害我爱着的某个人……爱丽丝，我不能——”

“我们会看着他的，贝拉。”她向我保证道。

“万一你受伤了呢，爱丽丝？你以为这对我来说不痛不痒吗？你以为他只能通过伤害我的人类家庭来打击我吗？”

爱丽丝意味深长地看着贾斯帕。一阵强烈的，沉重的，令人昏昏欲睡的迷雾席卷了我，我的眼睛在未经我许可的情况下合上了。我的意识竭力抵御着那阵迷雾，意识到发生了什么事。我强迫自己睁开眼睛，站起来，挣脱贾斯帕的手走到一旁。

“我不想继续睡。”我嚷嚷道。

我走回房间，用力关上门。我是真的砰地一声把门撞上的，这样我就能随意行事，保留仅有的一点隐私。这次爱丽丝没有跟着我进来。在之后的三个半小时里，我盯着墙壁，蜷成一个球，滚来滚去。我的脑子反反复复地思索着，试图想出一些办法来结束这个梦魇。但我根本无法逃离，也无法拖延。我所能看见的未来，有且只有一个正阴森森地逼近的结局。唯一的问题是，在我走到这个结局以前，有多少别的人会受到伤害。

我所拥有的唯一的安慰和唯一的希望是，我知道很快我就能看到爱德华了。也许，只要我再次看到他的脸，我就能够想出那个现在正遍寻不见的答案。

当电话响起来的时候，我回到了前面的屋子，动作里有着一丝羞愧。我希望我没有冒犯他们两个，我希望他们知道，我对他们为了我所做出的牺牲是多么的感激。

和往常一样，是爱丽丝接的电话，但引起我注意的是，贾斯帕头一次没在房间里。我看了看钟——现在是早上五点半。

“他们刚刚登机。”爱丽丝告诉我。“他们会在九点四十五分降落。”还得再强迫自己保持呼吸几个小时，才能等到他。

“贾斯帕在哪里？”

“他去退房。”

“你们不是要待在这里吗？”

“不，我们要搬到离你妈妈的房子更近的地方。”

我的胃因为她的话而不自在地扭曲起来。

但电话再次响起，分散了我的注意力。她看上去很惊讶，但我已经走向前去，满怀希望地向电话伸出手去。

“你好？”爱丽丝问道。“不，她就在这里。”她把电话递给我。你妈妈，她用唇语说道。

“你好？”

“贝拉？贝拉？”是我妈妈的声音，用着我童年时听过一千遍的熟悉的语气说着。每当我离人行道的边缘太近，或者在拥挤的地方脱离了她的视线时，她都会这样喊着我。那是一种充满恐惧的声音。

我叹了口气。我早就料到了，虽然我在留言时，已经在不降低紧迫感的同时尽可能地让自己的声音显得不那么惊惶。

“冷静点，妈妈。”我用最令人宽慰的语气说着，慢慢地从爱丽丝身旁走开。我不确定自己能否在她的监视下说出令人信服的谎言。“一切都很好，不是吗？只要给我一分钟，我就能解释清楚所有的事情，我保证。”

我停顿了片刻，惊讶地发现她至今都没有打断我的话。

“妈妈？”

“当心点，在我让你说话以前，别出声。”我听到了一个陌生的，出乎意料的声音。那是一个高亢的男声，一个非常亲切，毫无特色的声音——就是那种你会在豪华汽车广告里听到的声音。他说得非常快。

“现在，我不必伤害你妈妈了。我真高兴我能像自己所说的那样确实做到这一点，她没事。”他停顿了一分钟，而我惊骇地听着这一片沉寂。“非常好，”他祝贺道。“现在，重复我说电话，尽量让自己听起来正常些。请说，‘不，妈妈，待在那里。’”

“不，妈妈，待在那里。”我的声音只比耳语大声一点。

“我看得出，这会很困难。”那声音充满了戏谑的意味，依然既轻柔又友好。“现在你为什么不走到另一间屋子里，好让自己的表情不泄露任何秘密呢？没有理由让你妈妈承受这一切。你走动的时候，请说‘妈妈，请听我说。’现在就说。”

“妈妈，请听我说。”我的声音恳求着。我很慢很慢地向卧室走去，我能感觉到爱丽丝正用忧虑的眼神注视着我的背。我关上身后的门，试图赶在恐惧控制我的头脑以前仔细地把事情考虑一遍。

“现在，你是一个人了吗？请说是或者不是。”

“是的。”

“但他们还是能听见你说话，我敢肯定。”

“是的。”

“那么，好吧。”那个惬意的声音继续说道。“说，‘妈妈，相信我。’”

“妈妈，相信我。”

“这比我预料中的更管用。我正准备等着，你妈妈却提前回来了。这样就更容易了，不是吗？对你来说，悬而未决的事情变少了，需要担心的事情也更少了。”

我在等着。

“现在，我要你仔细听着。我要你离开你的朋友，你觉得你能做到吗？回答我是或者不。”

“不。”

“听到这话我很抱歉。我本来希望你能比这样更有创意写。如果你母亲的性命维系于此，你觉得你能摆脱你的朋友吗？回答是或者不。”

“是的。”
“这就好多了。我肯定这不容易，但如果我捕捉到任何你有人陪伴的蛛丝马迹，那么，对你母亲来说，这将是一件非常可怕的事，”那个友好的声音保证道。“事到如今，你一定对我们有足够的了解，你一定明白，一旦你试图带任何人和你一起来，我会在多短的时间内知道。而万一发生了这种情况，我只需要花一丁点时间就能解决掉你母亲。你明白吗？回答我，是或者不是。”

“是的。”我的声音有些破碎。

“很好，贝拉。以下是你要做的事。我要你去你母亲的家。在电话机旁会留有一个电话号码。打那个号码，我会告诉你从那里出发去哪里。”我已经知道我要去的那个地方，那个将结束这一切的地方。但我会严格遵循他的指示。“你能做到吗？答是或不是。”

“是。”

“请在中午前到达，贝拉。我没有一整天的时间。”他礼貌地说道。

“菲尔在哪里？”我简洁地问道。

“啊，现在给我当心点，贝拉。你得等到我让你说话时才能说话，拜托。”

我等待着。

“这很重要，现在，当你回到你的朋友身边时，确保他们不会生疑。告诉他们是你母亲打来的，你告诉她你会迟点到家。现在跟着我说。‘谢谢，妈妈。’现在，说。”

“谢谢，妈妈。”眼泪就要掉下来了。我努力把它们忍住。

“说，‘我爱你，妈妈，我们很快会再见的。’现在，说。”

“我爱你，妈妈。”我的声音有些沉闷。“我们很快会再见的。”我保证道。

“再见，贝拉，我等不及要再次见到你了。”他挂上了电话。

我依然把电话扣在耳上。我的关节因为恐惧而僵住了——我没法松开手指把电话放下来。

我知道我得开始思考，但我的脑子里依然充斥着我妈妈恐惧的声音。时间一分一秒地过去，我挣扎着想要控制住自己。

渐渐地，渐渐地，我的思绪开始挣扎着穿透了那堵厚厚的痛苦之墙。开始盘算着。现在，我别无选择，只剩下一条路：去那间满是镜子的房间，接受死亡。我没有得到任何保证，没有任何迹象表明我能保证我母亲活着。我只能希望，詹姆斯会对赢得这场游戏深感满意，击败爱德华能让他得到足够的满足感。绝望扼住了我。根本没有任何讨价还价的余地。我根本没有任何条件或者抵押品可以影响他。但我依然别无选择。我得放手一搏。

我尽可能地压抑住恐惧。我已经做出了决定。再浪费时间为那样的结局而痛苦就没有意义了。我得好好想想，因为爱丽丝和贾斯帕正等着我，因为躲开他们是完全不可能的，也是完全必要的。

我忽然感到一阵欣慰，幸好贾斯帕不在。如果他在这里，他一定会感觉到过去的五分钟里，我所感受到的痛苦，那我还可能不让他们产生怀疑吗？我咽下自己的恐惧和不安，努力压制住自己的情绪。我现在还没法做到这一点。我不知道他什么时候会回来。
我全神贯注地思考着脱身之计。我只能寄希望于我对机场的熟悉能够增加一点我的胜算。不管怎样，我得先让爱丽丝离开……

我知道爱丽丝正在另一个房间里满心好奇地等着我。但在贾斯帕回来以前，我得在私下里处理另一件事。

我必须接受这一点：我再也见不到爱德华了。甚至来不及再看他的脸一眼，我就得去那间满是镜子的屋子。我会让他很受伤的，而且我不能跟他道别。有一阵子，我任由那阵痛楚肆无忌惮地席卷了我。随后，我同样把这痛楚推到一旁，去面对爱丽丝。

我千方百计才控制住的唯一一个表情是一张呆滞的，死气沉沉的脸。我看到了她警惕的神情，但我等不及她发问。我只有一个剧本，而我还没尝试过临场发挥。

“我妈妈很担心，她想赶回家。但已经没事了，我说服了她，让她留在那边。”我的声音毫无生气。

“我们会确保她没事的，贝拉，别担心。”

我把头转向一旁。我不能让她看到我的表情。

我的目光落到桌子上那叠宾馆信纸最上面的一页白纸。我慢慢地走过去，一个计划在我脑海里成形了。同样，一封信的腹稿也成形了。好极了。

“爱丽丝，”我慢吞吞地说道，没有回头，依然让自己的声音波澜不兴。“如果我给我妈妈写封信，你能把信给她吗？我是说，把它留在屋子里。”

“当然，贝拉。”她的声音显得很谨慎。她看到出我在细微之处的破绽。我得更好地控制住自己的情绪。

我又走回了卧室，跪在那张小小的床头几前，开始写信。

“爱德华，”我写道。我的手在颤抖，笔下的那些字母简直难以让人辨认。

“我爱你。对不起。他抓住了我母亲，我只能放手一搏。我知道这可能没用。我非常，非常地抱歉。

别生爱丽丝和贾斯帕的气。如果我能从他们身旁逃开，这绝对是个奇迹。替我感谢他们。尤其是爱丽丝。求你了。

还有，千万，千万，不要跟着他。这正是他想要的。我是这样认为的。我再也承受不了有任何人因为我而受到伤害了，尤其是你。求你了，这是我现在唯一能向你要求的事。就当是为了我。

我爱你。原谅我。

贝拉。”

我小心地折起那封信，然后把它塞进信封里。他终有一日会发现的。我只希望他能理解，并且能听我的话，哪怕就这一次。

然后我也小心地密封住了自己的心情。
21. PHONE CALL

I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting
the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in my bed and
listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That
they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled till my
feet touched the floor and then staggered to the living room.

The clock on the TV said it was just after two in the morning. Alice and
Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while
Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't look up when I entered, too
engrossed in Alice's work.

I crept to Jasper's side to peek.

"Did she see something more?" I asked him quietly.

"Yes. Something's brought him back to the room with the VCR, but it's
light now."

I watched as Alice drew a square room with dark beams across its low
ceiling. The walls were paneled in wood, a little too dark, out of date.
The floor had a dark carpet with a pattern in it. There was a large
window against the south wall, and an opening through the west wall led
to the living room. One side of that entrance was stone — a large tan
stone fireplace that was open to both rooms. The focus of the room from
this perspective, the TV and VCR, balanced on a too-small wooden stand,
were in the southwest corner of the room. An aged sectional sofa curved
around in front of the TV, a round coffee table in front of it.

"The phone goes there," I whispered, pointing.

Two pairs of eternal eyes stared at me.

"That's my mother's house."

Alice was already off the couch, phone in hand, dialing. I stared at the
precise rendering of my mother's family room. Uncharacteristically,
Jasper slid closer to me. He lightly touched his hand to my shoulder, and
the physical contact seemed to make his calming influence stronger. The
panic stayed dull, unfocused.

Alice's lips were trembling with the speed of her words, the low buzzing
impossible to decipher. I couldn't concentrate.

"Bella," Alice said. I looked at her numbly.

"Bella, Edward is coming to get you. He and Emmett and Carlisle are going
to take you somewhere, to hide you for a while."

"Edward is coming?" The words were like a life vest, holding my head
above the flood.

"Yes, he's catching the first flight out of Seattle. We'll meet him at
the airport, and you'll leave with him."

"But, my mother… he came here for my mother, Alice!" Despite Jasper, the
hysteria bubbled up in my voice.

"Jasper and I will stay till she's safe."

"I can't win, Alice. You can't guard everyone I know forever. Don't you
see what he's doing? He's not tracking me at all. He'll find someone,
he'll hurt someone I love… Alice, I can't —"

"We'll catch him, Bella," she assured me.

"And what if you get hurt, Alice? Do you think that's okay with me? Do
you think it's only my human family he can hurt me with?"

Alice looked meaningfully at Jasper. A deep, heavy fog of lethargy washed
over me, and my eyes closed without my permission. My mind struggled
against the fog, realizing what was happening. I forced my eyes open and
stood up, stepping away from Jasper's hand.

"I don't want to go back to sleep," I snapped.

I walked to my room and shut the door, slammed it really, so I could be
free to go to pieces privately. This time Alice didn't follow me. For
three and a half hours I stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking.
My mind went around in circles, trying to come up with some way out of
this nightmare. There was no escape, no reprieve. I could see only one
possible end looming darkly in my future. The only question was how many
other people would be hurt before I reached it.

The only solace, the only hope I had left, was knowing that I would see
Edward soon. Maybe, if I could just see his face again, I would also be
able to see the solution that eluded me now.

When the phone rang, I returned to the front room, a little ashamed of my
behavior. I hoped I hadn't offended either of them, that they would know
how grateful I was for the sacrifices they were making on my account.

Alice was talking as rapidly as ever, but what caught my attention was
that, for the first time, Jasper was not in the room. I looked at the
clock — it was five-thirty in the morning.

"They're just boarding their plane," Alice told me. "They'll land at
nine-forty-five." Just a few more hours to keep breathing till he was
here.

"Where's Jasper?"

"He went to check out."

"You aren't staying here?"

"No, we're relocating closer to your mother's house."

My stomach twisted uneasily at her words.

But the phone rang again, distracting me. She looked surprised, but I was
already walking forward, reaching hopefully for the phone.

"Hello?" Alice asked. "No, she's right here." She held the phone out to
me. Your mother, she mouthed.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Bella?" It was my mother's voice, in a familiar tone I had heard
a thousand times in my childhood, anytime I'd gotten too close to the
edge of the sidewalk or strayed out of her sight in a crowded place. It
was the sound of panic.

I sighed. I'd been expecting this, though I'd tried to make my message as
unalarming as possible without lessening the urgency of it.

"Calm down, Mom," I said in my most soothing voice, walking slowly away
from Alice. I wasn't sure if I could lie as convincingly with her eyes on
me. "Everything is fine, okay? Just give me a minute and I'll explain
everything, I promise."

I paused, surprised that she hadn't interrupted me yet.

"Mom?"

"Be very careful not to say anything until I tell you to." The voice I
heard now was as unfamiliar as it was unexpected. It was a man's tenor
voice, a very pleasant, generic voice — the kind of voice that you heard
in the background of luxury car commercials. He spoke very quickly.

"Now, I don't need to hurt your mother, so please do exactly as I say,
and she'll be fine." He paused for a minute while I listened in mute
horror. "That's very good," he congratulated. "Now repeat after me, and
do try to sound natural. Please say, 'No, Mom, stay where you are.'"

"No, Mom, stay where you are." My voice was barely more than a whisper.

"I can see this is going to be difficult." The voice was amused, still
light and friendly. "Why don't you walk into another room now so your
face doesn't ruin everything? There's no reason for your mother to
suffer. As you're walking, please say, 'Mom, please listen to me.' Say it
now."

"Mom, please listen to me," my voice pleaded. I walked very slowly to the
bedroom, feeling Alice's worried stare on my back. I shut the door behind
me, trying to think clearly through the terror that gripped my brain.

"There now, are you alone? Just answer yes or no."

"Yes."

"But they can still hear you, I'm sure."

"Yes."

"All right, then," the agreeable voice continued, "say, 'Mom, trust me.'"

"Mom, trust me."

"This worked out rather better than I expected. I was prepared to wait,
but your mother arrived ahead of schedule. It's easier this way, isn't
it? Less suspense, less anxiety for you."

I waited.

"Now I want you to listen very carefully. I'm going to need you to get
away from your friends; do you think you can do that? Answer yes or no."

"No."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping you would be a little more creative
than that. Do you think you could get away from them if your mother's
life depended on it? Answer yes or no."

Somehow, there had to be a way. I remembered that we were going to the
airport. Sky Harbor International Airport: crowded, confusingly laid out…

"Yes."

"That's better. I'm sure it won't be easy, but if I get the slightest

hint that you have any company, well, that would be very bad for your
mother," the friendly voice promised. "You must know enough about us by
now to realize how quickly I would know if you tried to bring anyone
along with you. And how little time I would need to deal with your mother
if that was the case. Do you understand? Answer yes or no."

"Yes." My voice broke.

"Very good, Bella. Now this is what you have to do. I want you to go to
your mother's house. Next to the phone there will be a number. Call it,
and I'll tell you where to go from there." I already knew where I would
go, and where this would end. But I would follow his instructions
exactly. "Can you do that? Answer yes or no."

"Yes."

"Before noon, please, Bella. I haven't got all day," he said politely.

"Where's Phil?" I asked tersely.

"Ah, be careful now, Bella. Wait until I ask you to speak, please."

I waited.

"It's important, now, that you don't make your friends suspicious when
you go back to them. Tell them that your mother called, and that you
talked her out of coming home for the time being. Now repeat after me,
'Thank you, Mom.' Say it now."

"Thank you, Mom." The tears were coming. I tried to fight them back.

"Say, 'I love you, Mom, I'll see you soon.' Say it now."

"I love you, Mom." My voice was thick. "I'll see you soon," I promised.

"Goodbye, Bella. I look forward to seeing you again." He hung up.

I held the phone to my ear. My joints were frozen with terror — I
couldn't unbend my fingers to drop it.

I knew I had to think, but my head was filled with the sound of my
mother's panic. Seconds ticked by while I fought for control.

Slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick wall of
pain. To plan. For I had no choices now but one: to go to the mirrored
room and die. I had no guarantees, nothing to give to keep my mother
alive. I could only hope that James would be satisfied with winning the
game, that beating Edward would be enough. Despair gripped me; there was
no way to bargain, nothing I could offer or withhold that could influence
him. But I still had no choice. I had to try.

I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did
no good to waste time agonizing over the outcome. I had to think clearly,
because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and evading them was
absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.

I was suddenly grateful that Jasper was gone. If he had been here to feel
my anguish in the last five minutes, how could I have kept them from
being suspicious? I choked back the dread, the anxiety, tried to stifle
it. I couldn't afford it now. I didn't know when he would return.

I concentrated on my escape. I had to hope that my familiarity with the
airport would turn the odds in my favor. Somehow, I had to keep Alice
away…

I knew Alice was in the other room waiting for me, curious. But I had to
deal with one more thing in private, before Jasper was back.

I had to accept that I wouldn't see Edward again, not even one last
glimpse of his face to carry with me to the mirror room. I was going to
hurt him, and I couldn't say goodbye. I let the waves of torture wash
over me, have their way for a time. Then I pushed them back, too, and

went to face Alice.

The only expression I could manage was a dull, dead look. I saw her alarm
and I didn't wait for her to ask. I had just one script and I'd never
manage improvisation now.

"My mom was worried, she wanted to come home. But it's okay, I convinced
her to stay away." My voice was lifeless.

"We'll make sure she's fine, Bella, don't worry."

I turned away; I couldn't let her see my face.

My eye fell on a blank page of the hotel stationery on the desk. I went
to it slowly, a plan forming. There was an envelope there, too. That was
good.

"Alice," I asked slowly, without turning, keeping my voice level. "If I
write a letter for my mother, would you give it to her? Leave it at the
house, I mean."

"Sure, Bella." Her voice was careful. She could see me coming apart at
the seams. I had to keep my emotions under better control.

I went into the bedroom again, and knelt next to the little bedside table
to write.

"Edward," I wrote. My hand was shaking, the letters were hardly legible.

I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it
may not work. I am so very, very sorry.

Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be
a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please.

And please, please, don't come after him. That's what he wants. I think.
I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you.
Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.

I love you. Forgive me.

Bella

I folded the letter carefully, and sealed it in the envelope. Eventually
he would find it. I only hoped he would understand, and listen to me just
this once.

And then I carefully sealed away my heart.

回复引用

ZxID：13286336

等级: 内阁元老

配偶: 四和七

离开时才明白，真的只有一个人走。

举报只看该作者 21楼发表于: 2012-08-16 0

第二十二章躲猫猫

第二十二章躲猫猫

做到这一点所花的时间比我认为的还要短——所有的恐惧和绝望，还有我破碎的心。时间一分一秒地过去，流淌得比平时还蛮。当我回到爱丽丝那里时，贾斯帕还没回来。我很怕和她待在同一个房间里，生怕她会猜到……也害怕着，需要因为同样的理由而隐瞒她。

我本以为自己已经没有余力去感到惊讶里，因为我的心一直忐忑不安，已经饱受折磨。但当我看到爱丽丝伏在桌子上，两手紧紧地抓着桌子边缘时，我依然吃了一惊。

“爱丽丝？”

我喊她的名字，她没有反应，但她的头慢慢地转了过来，我看见了她的脸。她的脸色很苍白，脸上一片迷茫……我立刻想到了我母亲。已经太迟了吗？

我飞快地冲到她身旁，本能地伸出手想拉着她的手。

“爱丽丝！”贾斯帕的声音听起来像是被鞭子抽了一样。然后，他立刻出现在了她身后，他的手交缠在她的手上，把它们从桌子上掰开。房间的另一头，房门啪地一声轻轻关上了。

“怎么回事？”他询问道。

她把脸埋到他胸口，不再看我。“贝拉。”她说道。

“我在这里。”我答道。

她的头转了过来，她的目光锁住了我的眼睛，眼里依然是一副诡异的空白的神情。我立刻意识到，她不是在叫我，她是在回答贾斯帕的问题。

“你看见了什么？”我说道——但我波澜不兴，漠不关心的声音里没有半点疑问。

贾斯帕狠狠地看着我。我让自己面无表情，等待着。他的目光轮流扫过在爱丽丝和我的脸，眼里写满了困惑……我猜到了爱丽丝看到的东西。

我感到一阵宁静笼罩着我。我对这宁静很是欢迎，利用它来控制自己的情绪，让自己的思绪有条不紊。
爱丽丝也恢复了过来。

“没事，真的。”她最终答道，她的声音异常地平静，令人信服。“跟之前的那间房间一样。”

她终于看向我，她的神情既平静又孤僻。“你想吃早餐了吗？”

“不，我会在机场吃早餐。”我也很平静。我走进浴室，去洗个澡。简直像是我借用了贾斯帕的特异感觉一样，我能感觉到爱丽丝强烈的——尽管她掩饰得很好——绝望地想让我离开这间屋子，让她和贾斯帕独处的情绪。这样她就能告诉他他们做错了某件事，他们注定要失败……

我有条不紊地做着准备，全神贯注地做好每一件琐事。我把头发放下来，披散在肩上，遮盖住自己的脸。贾斯帕所营造的安宁的气氛很有用，它能帮助我条理清晰地思考着。也有助于我的计划。我在书包里翻找着，挖出了我那只装满了钱的袜子。我把它倒空，把钱全部塞进了我的钱包里。

我迫不及待地想要到机场去，当我们在七点整出发的时候，我深感欣慰。这一次我独自坐在那辆黑色的轿车后排。爱丽丝倚在门上，她的脸朝着贾斯帕，但是，在她的太阳眼镜之下，她的眼睛每隔几秒就会向我的方向瞥一眼。

“爱丽丝？”我漠不关心地问道。

她很警惕。“嗯？”

“这是怎么做到的？你是怎么看见事物的呢？”我看向另一侧的窗外，我的声音听起来兴趣索然。“爱德华说过这不是很准确……事情会改变吗？”说出他的名字比我想过的还要困难。这一定让贾斯帕警惕起来，于是，一阵新鲜的清朗之气涤荡在车内。

“是的，事情会改变……”她喃喃低语着，我觉得，她似乎又燃起了希望。“有些事情会预测更准确些……比方说天气。但人们是很难预测的。我只能在他们开始前进时看到他们前进的方向。一旦他们改变了主意——做出一个新的决定，不管那决定有多么微小——整个未来就会改变了。”

我若有所思地点了点头。“所以你一直看不到詹姆斯在凤凰城，直到他决定来这里为止。”

“是的。”她赞同道，又警惕起来。

所以，在我决定去那里见詹姆斯以前，她不会在那间镜屋里看到我和他在一起。我试图不去思考她看到的到底是什么。我不想让自己的恐惧惊动贾斯帕，让他起疑心。无论如何，在爱丽丝看见了那些以后，他们会比平常更细心两倍地监视着我。这将会让我的一切努力成为不可能。

我们到了机场。幸运之神站在了我这边，或许这只是因为赔率比较高。爱德华的飞机要在四个小时以后才会降落，那个航班将停靠在最大的那个候机楼里，而那时正是最多航班降落的时候——当然，他的飞机会在这个时间这个地点降落并不令人惊讶。但这正是我所需要的那座航空楼：最大的，最容易让人迷路的那一座，而候机楼三层的那道门将是我唯一的机会。
我们把车停在了那个巨大的停车楼的四层。我负责带路，因为我曾来过这里，所以比他们更熟悉周围的环境。我们坐电梯到了三层，那里是乘客办理行李托运的地方。有很长一段时间，爱丽丝和贾斯帕都在看着即将起飞的航班办理登机手续的情景。我能听到他们在讨论着纽约，亚特兰大和芝加哥的优点和缺点。我从没见过那些地方。我再也不会有机会见到的地方。

我在焦急地等待着合适的时机，我的脚不听使唤地打着拍子。我们坐在金属探测器旁的一排排椅子上，贾斯帕和爱丽丝假装在看着来来往往的人群，实际上却是在监视着我。这真让人绝望。我应该跑吗？他们敢在这样的公共场合阻止我吗？又或者他们只会跟着我。

我把那封尚未署名的信封从钱包里拿出来，放到爱丽丝那只黑色的皮包上。她看着我。

“我的信。”我说道。她点了点头，把那封信收到皮包最外面的夹层里。他很快就会看到它了。

时间一分一秒地过去，爱德华的到来越来越近了。这实在是件惊人的事，我体内的每一个细胞似乎都知道他就要到来，都渴望着他的到来。这让事情变得很棘手。我发现自己试图想出留下来的借口，想要先看他一眼，再脱身而去。但我知道，只要我有任何机会脱身，这一切就不可能发生。

爱丽丝几次提出要陪我去吃早餐。再等会儿，我告诉她，我还不饿。

我盯着到达航班布告屏，看着一个又一个航班准时抵达。从西雅图飞来的航班越来越靠近布告屏的顶端了。

然后，当我还剩下三十分钟可以脱身的时候，屏幕上的数字变了。他的航班提前十分钟到达。我没时间了。

“我想我现在需要吃点东西了。”我迅速说道。
爱丽丝站起来。“我和你一起去。”

“你介意让贾斯帕陪我吗？”我问道。“我觉得有点……”我没把句子说完。我眼里的狂乱已足以表达我没有说出的一切。

贾斯帕站了起来。爱丽丝的眼里写满了困惑，但令我宽慰的是，我看到她眼里并没有怀疑的痕迹。她一定把自己所预见的改变归咎于追随者的某种阴谋，根本没想到是我的背叛。

贾斯帕沉默地走在我身旁，他的手轻轻点着我的背，就好像他在给我领路一样。我假装对最先遇到的那几家机场咖啡屋毫无兴趣，我的脑子在搜寻着我真正想要的某物。然后，我找到了，就在拐角处那里，在爱丽丝锐利的目光所及范围之外：三层女化妆间。

“你介意吗？”当我们走过那间化妆间前时，我问贾斯帕。“我只占用一点点时间。”

“我会在这里等着。”他说道。

身后的门刚刚关上，我立刻狂奔起来。我还记得，上次我曾在这个化妆间里迷路，因为这里有两个出口。

出了远处的那个门，只需再冲刺一小段路就能到达电梯。如果贾斯帕真的像他说的那样待在那里等着的话，他绝对不会看见我。当我奔跑的时候，我没有回头张望。这是我唯一的几乎，即使他看见我了，我也得继续跑。人们都在盯着我看，但我不去理会他们。拐过拐角，电梯正在那里等着，我夺路狂奔，把手伸进那架载满了人的下行电梯即将关闭的门里。我用力挤进那群愤怒的乘客里，看了一眼按钮板，想知道一层的按钮是否已经被按下了。那个按钮已经亮了起来，电梯门关上了。

一等电梯门打开，我又挤了出去，身后传来一阵恼怒的喃喃低语声。当我从自动扶梯上穿过安保岗时，我放慢了速度。当出口出现在眼前时（出口在望时），我又狂奔起来。我已经来不及细想贾斯帕是否正在找我了。

如果他循着我的味道跟着我时，我就只剩下几秒钟的时间了。我冲向自动门，因为它们打开地太慢，我还差点撞到了玻璃上。

在拥挤的马路旁，我一辆的士都没看见。

我没时间了。爱丽丝和贾斯帕就要知道我的逃跑了，或者，他们已经知道了。只需一下心跳的时间他们就能找到我。

在离我几步远的地方，一辆去往机场宾馆的穿梭巴士刚刚关上门。

"等一下！"我大喊着跑过去，一路冲着司机招手。

"这是去往机场宾馆的穿梭巴士。"司机用困惑的声音说着，打开了门。

"是的，"我怒气冲冲地说道。"这正是我要去的地方。"我赶忙奔上那几级踏板。

他斜着眼看着没带任何行李的我，却只是耸耸肩，懒得发问。

大多数的座位都空着，我尽可能地坐得离别的乘客更远些，然后看向窗外。第一眼先看人行道，再看机场，然后我的目光在这两者之间游离不定。我情不自禁地想象着爱德华的样子，想象着他追随着我的踪迹，然后站在了马路边上的样子。我还不能哭，我告诉自己，我还有很长的路要走。

我的运气显灵了。机场宾馆的门口，一对看上去很疲惫的夫妇正在把他们的最后一件行李从一辆的士的后备箱里拿出来。我跳下穿梭巴士，奔向那辆的士，迅速坐进司机身后的那个座位上。那对疲倦的夫妇和那个穿梭巴士司机都盯着我看。

我把我妈妈的住址告诉了那个一脸惊讶的出租车司机。"我要尽快赶到那里，越快越好。"

"那可是在菲尼克斯。"他抱怨道。（菲尼克斯是凤凰城的老城区，也是市中心。）
我把四张二十美元的钞票扔到前排座位上。

“这些够了吗？”

“当然，孩子，没问题。”

我坐回座位上，双臂交叠着抱住膝盖。熟悉的城市开始包围着我，但我根本不想看出窗外去。我努力让自己保持自制力。既然我的计划进行得如此顺利，我下定决心不让自己在这个时候崩溃。让自己沉浸在更多的恐惧和焦虑中是毫无意义的。我已经选择了这条路。现在我所能是继续走下去。

所以，我不再惶恐，而是闭上眼睛，用那二十分钟的车程尽情想着爱德华。

我想象着自己留在机场，与爱德华相见。我想象着，自己会怎样踮起脚尖，想要早些看见他的脸；他会怎样迅速而又优雅地穿过分隔着我们的拥挤的人群。然后，我会像平常一样鲁莽地冲上前去，走完我们之间的最后几步，然后落入他大理石般的怀抱。最终，我会平安无恙。

我想知道我们将会去那里。也许是北方的某个地方，这样他就能在白天外出。又或许是某个非常偏远的地方，这样我们就能再次躺在阳光下。我想象着他在海滩上的样子，他的肌肤会像海水一样闪闪发光。我不在乎我们得躲藏多久。和他一起困住宾馆房间里的时光一定宛如天堂。我还有那么多的问题想要问题。我可以一直和他谈话，永远也不睡觉，永远不离开他身边。

现在，（在我的脑海里，）我是如此清晰的看到了他的脸……几乎都能听到他的声音了。尽管有如此多的恐惧和绝望，我依然抓住了这短暂的欢乐。我太沉迷于自己逃避现实的白日梦里了，以至于完全忘记了时间的流逝。

“嗨，门牌号是多少？”

出租车司机的发问打破了我的白日梦，我幻觉里的所有色彩都荡然无存。恐惧，凄凉和艰难，正等着填补幻觉消失后所留下来的空白。

“5821。”我的声音听起来快要窒息了。那个司机紧张地看着我，就好像我是某个有趣的小插曲。

“那么，你到了。”他不安地看着我下车，也许只是在希望着我不要让他找钱。

“谢谢。”我喃喃低语着。没有必要感到害怕，我提醒自己。家里现在没人。我得抓紧时间。我的母亲正等着我，她一定已经吓坏了，只能指望我。

我跑向大门，本能地伸出手去取屋檐下的钥匙。我打开了门。屋里很黑，空无一人，一切正常。我向电话机跑去，在路上打开了厨房的灯。在那里，就在那块白板上，写着一行十位数字，字迹小巧工整。我的手指颤抖着伸向电话键盘，却拨错了。我不得不挂上电话，重新拨号。这次我把注意力全都集中在按钮上，小心地按顺序按下每一个按钮。我成功了。我用颤抖的手把电话举到耳边。电话只响了一下就接通了。

“你好，贝拉。”那个从容不迫的声音说道。“你真的很快。我对此印象深刻。”

“我妈妈还好吗？”

“她相当好。别担心，贝拉，我没和她吵架。当然，除非你不是一个人来。”

“就我一个人。”终我一生，我都没有如此孤独过。

“非常好。现在，你知不知道你家附近的那家芭蕾舞教室？”

“知道。我知道怎么去那里。”

“很好，那么，我们待会见，很快。”

我挂上了电话。

我跑出房间，穿过大门，冲进灼人的热浪里。

没有时间回头再看一眼我的家了，我也不想看到它现在这个样子——空无一人，成为了恐惧而非避难所的象征。上一个走过这些房间的人是我的敌人。

通过眼角的余光，我仿佛看见了我的母亲站在那棵巨大的桉树的阴影里，看着还是个孩子的我玩耍着。她仿佛又跪在了信箱旁的那小小的一掊土旁，那是她试图种养的所有花儿的墓地。那些回忆比我今天所看到的所有真实都更加美好。但我飞快地从它们身旁跑开，冲向街道的拐角处，把一切都抛在了身后。

我总觉得自己跑得太慢，仿佛自己正在泥泞的沙地上奔跑一样——我似乎没法从水泥地上得到足够的支撑力。我被绊到了好几次，还有一次摔倒了。我伸出手想稳住自己，我的手在人行道上蹭破了皮。我摇摇晃晃地爬起来，继续向前跑去。最终，我跑过了那个街角。现在只剩一条街了。我喘息着，奔跑着，汗水自我的脸上倾注而下。阳光灼烧着我的肌肤，白色的水泥地面上反射着太过明亮的光线，晃了我的眼。我觉得自己被极其危险地一览无遗。我强烈地，比我所能想到的还要强烈得多的，思念着福克斯那翠绿的，给予庇护的森林……思念着我的家。

当我转过最后一个街角，冲进仙人掌街的时候，我能看到那间舞蹈教室了，它看上去依然是我记忆中的那个样子。教室门前的停车位是空的，屋里所有的竖式窗帘都拉了下来。我跑不动了——我甚至没法呼吸，筋疲力尽和恐惧夺走了我的优势。我想着我的母亲，这才能让自己迈动步子，一步接一步地往前走。

当我走得更近些的时候，我看到了门里贴着的那张告示。那是一张手写的，写在深粉红色的纸张上的告示，上面说舞蹈教室因为春假而暂时关闭。我伸手去摸扶手，警惕地拧动它。门没锁。我强迫自己稳住呼吸，然后打开了门。

大厅里阴暗又空旷，很是凉爽，空调嗡嗡响着。那些塑料扶手椅靠墙叠放着，地毯闻起来像是洗发水的味道。西面的舞蹈室里很暗，我能从那扇敞开的观察窗里看到那整个房间。东边的那间更大的舞蹈室的灯亮着，但那边的窗子的帘子拉了下来。

恐惧牢牢地抓住我，我简直要被困在其中了。我没法让自己迈动步子。然后，我妈妈的声音在大喊着。

“贝拉？贝拉？”一模一样的充满了竭斯底里的恐惧的声音。我奋力冲向那扇门，冲向她的声音。

“贝拉，你吓坏我了！你可不能再这样对我了！”当我奔进那间长长的，天花板很高的房间时，她的声音继续说着。

我环顾四周，试图找出她的声音是在哪里发出来的。我听到了她的笑声，急忙转过去面向她的声音。

她在那里，在电视屏幕上，如释重负地抚弄着我的发。那是在感恩节，我那时十二岁。我们去看住在加利福尼亚的外祖母，那是在她去世的前一年。有一天我们去了海滩，我靠得离码头的边缘太远了。她看到我的脚有些不稳，试图抓住我让我保持平衡。“贝拉？贝拉？”她惊恐地冲我大喊。

然后，电视机屏幕变成了蓝屏。

我慢慢地转过身去。他一动不动地站在后面的那个出口前，所以起初我完全没有注意到他。他手里拿着一只遥控器。我们久久地凝望着彼此，然后，他笑了。

他向我走来，走到离我很近的地方，然后从我身旁走过去，把遥控器放到录像机旁。我小心地转过身去看着他。

“我对此事很抱歉，贝拉，但你的母亲并没有真的被牵扯进来，这不是更好吗？”

他的声音既谦恭又友好。

忽然间，这个事实向我迎头击下。我的母亲安全了。她还在佛罗里达。她从没接到我的留言。她从没被我眼前这张异常苍白的脸上那双阴暗的血红双眼所吓到。她安全了。

“是的，”我答道。我的声音里渗满了宽慰。

“你听起来并没有因为我欺骗你而生气。”

“我没有。”我突如其来的情绪高涨让我勇敢了起来。现在这件事还重要吗？一切很快就要结束了。查理和妈妈永远不会受到伤害，永远不必恐惧。我感到一阵头晕目眩。我脑子里的某些善于推理的部分警告我，我现在很危险，很有可能会因为压力的骤然消失而崩溃掉。

“真奇怪。你就是这个意思。”他阴暗的眼睛饶有趣味地估量着我。他的虹膜几近黑色，仅仅是在虹膜边缘才有一丝深红色。口渴。“我给你那个古怪的巫会送上这样一份大礼，你这个人类一定会很感兴趣的。我猜，通过观察你，我看到了一场精彩的演出。这实在很惊人——你们中的一些人完全没有注意到你的私心。”

他站在离我只有几英尺远的地方，交叠着双臂，好奇地看着我。他的表情和站姿没有透露出半点威胁的意味。他真的相貌平平，五官和身材都没有任何特别之处。只有那雪白的肌肤，还有我已经被培养得开始习惯了的有着黑眼圈的眼睛，（才显得有几分特别。）他穿着一件淡蓝色的长袖恤衫，还有一条褪了色的蓝色牛仔裤。

“我猜，你会告诉我，你的男朋友会为你复仇的？”他问道，对我来说，他看上去满怀希望。

“不，我不这样认为。至少，我告诉过他不要这样做。”

“那么，他的回答是什么？”

“我不知道。”与这个优雅的捕猎者交谈轻松得有些奇怪。“我给他留了一封信。”

“真浪漫，最后的一封信。你认为他会遵守信中的内容吗？”他的声音听起来生硬了些，一丝讽刺破坏了他礼貌的语气。

“我希望他会。”

“呃嗯。好吧，那么我们的愿望很不一致。你看，这太容易了，太快了些。老实说，我有点失望。我本来还期待着更大的挑战。可到头来，我只需要一点运气。”

我沉默地等待着。

“在维多利亚没法靠近你父亲的时候，我让她找出更多关于你的信息。在我能够舒舒服服地在我选中的地方等着你的时候，就没有必要满世界地追着你跑了。所以，在我和维多利亚聊过以后，我决定来凤凰城拜访一下你母亲。我听到你说你要回家。起初，我从没想过你确实是这样做的。但之后我起了疑心。人类很容易被预测。他们喜欢待在熟悉的地方，安全的地方。这实在是个完美的做法，躲到你最不可能去躲藏的地方——你说你会去的地方。

不过，当然，我没法确定，这只是一种直觉。我通常能从我所狩猎的猎物身上得到感觉，这是一种第六感，如果你愿意这样称呼的话。能拿到你的门牌号对我来说很有用，但就我所知，你也可能在南极洲。如果你不在附近的话，这个游戏就没有意义了。

然后，你的男朋友坐上了飞往凤凰城的航班。很自然地，维多利亚把这件事告诉了我。在这场游戏里有这么多的玩家，我不可能是孤军奋战。所以，这些讯息告诉了我我所希望的事情，你终究是在这里。我做好了准备。我看完了你那些迷人的家庭录像。然后，只剩下虚张声势的问题。

你知道，这一切来得太容易了，完全没有达到我的标准。所以，你看，我很希望你对你男朋友的判断是错误的。他叫爱德华，对吧？”

我没有回答。那种虚张声势的作用正在逐渐消失。我感觉到，他即将结束他贪婪的注视。无论如何，那不是冲着我来的。击败我，这个脆弱的人类，不能给他任何荣耀。

“你是否会，很介意，如果我用自己的方式留一封短信给你的爱德华？”

他后退一步，拿起一部原本被小心地放在立体声音响上的巴掌大小的数码摄像机。一点小小的红光显示着它一直开着。他调整了几下，把镜框调大。我震惊地看着他。

“我很抱歉，但我不认为在他看过这些以后，还能抵御住猎杀我的愿望。而且我也不想让他错过任何细节。当然，这一切都是为了他。你不过是个人类，一个很不幸出现在错误的时间，错误的地点的人类。而且无可辩驳地，和一群错误的人待在了一起，我得加上这一句。”

他向我走过来，微笑着。“在我们开始以前……”

当他说话的时候，我感觉到胃里一阵恶心。这是我完全没有预料到的情况。

“我只是想要踩到他痛处，只要一点点。自始至终答案都是这个，我真担心爱德华看出这一点，然后毁掉我的乐趣。这以前发生过一次，哦，是很多年以前。有一次，也是唯一的一次，我的猎物从我面前逃开了。”

“你看，那个愚蠢地喜欢着那个弱小的受害者的吸血鬼做出了你的爱德华因为太软弱而没法做出的选择。当那个老家伙知道我正追捕着他的小朋友时，他把她从他工作的那家收容所里偷了出来——我从来都弄不明白这一点，有些吸血鬼似乎就是痴迷于和你们人类为伍——他一把她放出来，立刻就让她安全了。她甚至没有注意到那种痛苦，可怜的小家伙。她被关在那间黑窟窿般的单人牢房里关太久了。如果是更早的一百年以前她一定会因为她的预知能力而被放到柴堆上烧死。但在十九世纪二十年代仅仅是收容所和休克疗法。当她睁开眼睛，因为自己的新生而格外强壮时，她看上去似乎此前从没见过太阳。那个老吸血鬼把她变成了一个强壮的新生吸血鬼，然后我再也没有理由靠近她了。”他叹了口气。“作为报复，我干掉了那个老家伙。”

“爱丽丝。”我震惊地压低声音说道。
是的，你的那位小朋友。当我在空地上看到她时，我很是惊讶。所以我猜她的巫会应当能从这个经历中得到一些安慰。我得到了你，但他们得到了她。唯一一个从我身边逃脱的受害者，确实是个纪念品，真的。”

“她闻起来确实很美味。我依然感到后悔，我没来得及尝一口……她闻起来甚至比你还好。对不起——我不是有意要冒犯你的。你闻起来确实不错。花香的味道，不知怎的……”

他向我走了一步，但仍保持着几英寸的距离。他拿起我的一缕头发，优雅地轻嗅着。然后，他温柔地把那缕头发放回原处，我感觉到他冰冷的指尖触到了我的喉咙。他用一根拇指飞快地轻拍了一下我的脸颊，脸上写满了好奇。我迫切地想要逃开，但我僵住了。我甚至没法退缩。

“不，”他放下手，低声地自言自语道。“我不明白。”他叹了口气。“好吧，我猜我们还是把剩下的事情做完吧。然后我就能打电话给你的朋友们，告诉他们在哪里能找到你，还有我小小的留言。”

现在我真的恶心起来了。我的痛苦源于我在他眼中所看到的一切。对他来说，仅仅是赢得游戏，吃饱喝足然后离开是远远不够的。事情不会像我指望的那样迅速地结束。我的膝盖开始颤抖，我害怕自己就要倒下去了。

他退回去，开始警惕地围着我绕圈，就好像他是在试图给博物馆的一尊雕像取一个更好的镜头一样。当他决定开始的地点的时候，他的脸依然坦率又友好。

然后他猛然俯下身去，变成我能认得出的那种蜷伏的姿势，他愉快的微笑越笑越开，慢慢张大着嘴，最终那不再是一个微笑，而是歪曲着嘴唇露出牙齿的姿势，他的牙齿全部露了出来，闪耀着光。

我没法控制住自己——我想要逃跑。尽管我知道这根本没用，我的膝盖依然虚软着，恐惧还是控制了一切，我向紧急出口冲去。

只一瞬间，他就冲到了我面前。我甚至没看出他袭来的是手还是脚，这一切发生得太快了。一记粉碎性的重击砸到了我的胸口——我感觉到自己向后飞去，然后听到了我的头砸到镜子上的撞击声。玻璃被撞得变了形，几片碎片掉落下来，散落在我身后的地板上。

我被吓得甚至感受不到疼痛。我甚至没法呼吸。

他慢慢地向我走来。

“效果很好。”他说着，审视着支离破碎的玻璃，声音又友好起来。“我觉得这房间对我的小短片来说很有戏剧性的视觉效果。这就是为什么我选择在这里见你。这里棒极了，不是吗？”

我不去理会他，手脚并用地向另一扇门跑去。

他马上超越了我。他的脚重重地踩在了我的大腿上。在我感觉到以前，我听到了那恶心的断裂声了。然后，我确实感觉到了，我甚至没法咽回自己极其痛苦的尖叫。我回过身去够自己的腿，他站在我身上，微笑着。

“你想要重新考虑一下你最后的请求吗？”他愉快地问道。他的脚趾推了推我骨折了的腿，我听到了一阵刺骨（悚然）的尖叫。我震惊地意识到，那声尖叫是我自己发出的。

“你真的不愿意让爱德华试图来找我吗？”他催促着。

“不，”我用嘶哑的声音大喊着。“不，爱德华，不要——”然后某个东西撞上我的脸，把我击回那面破碎的镜子上。

除了腿上的疼痛之外，我还感觉到了玻璃扎进我的头皮的尖锐的刺痛。然后一种温暖的液体以惊人的速度从我的头发里流下来。我感觉到它浸湿了我肩上的恤衫，我听到它滴落在木地板上的声音。它的味道让我的胃痉挛起来。

在头昏目眩和恶心反胃之中，我看到了某件事情，这突然给了我最后一丝希望。他原本十分专注的眼神里，现在燃起了一种失控的渴望。那些血染红了我雪白的恤衫，飞快地汇聚在地板上，让他因为口渴而疯狂起来。不管他最初的目的是什么，他再也没法做到了。

让一切快点结束，是我现在全部的愿望。从我的头上流下的鲜血带走了我的意识。我渐渐闭上了眼睛。

仿佛置身在水底，我听到了猎食者的最后一声咆哮。我的视野变成了长长的隧道，我能看到，在隧道的另一端，他黑色的身影正向我扑过来。我用尽最后一点力气，本能地举起手护住自己的脸。我闭上了眼睛，感觉自己像在漂浮着。
22. HIDE-AND-SEEK

It had taken much less time than I'd thought — all the terror, the
despair, the shattering of my heart. The minutes were ticking by more
slowly than usual. Jasper still hadn't come back when I returned to
Alice. I was afraid to be in the same room with her, afraid that she
would guess… and afraid to hide from her for the same reason.

I would have thought I was far beyond the ability to be surprised, my
thoughts tortured and unstable, but I was surprised when I saw Alice bent
over the desk, gripping the edge with two hands.

"Alice?"

She didn't react when I called her name, but her head was slowly rocking
side to side, and I saw her face. Her eyes were blank, dazed… My thoughts
flew to my mother. Was I already too late?

I hurried to her side, reaching out automatically to touch her hand.

"Alice!" Jasper's voice whipped, and then he was right behind her, his
hands curling over hers, loosening them from their grip on the table.
Across the room, the door swung shut with a low click.

"What is it?" he demanded.

She turned her face away from me, into his chest. "Bella," she said.

"I'm right here," I replied.

Her head twisted around, her eyes locking on mine, their expression still
strangely blank. I realized at once that she hadn't been speaking to me,
she'd been answering Jasper's question.

"What did you see?" I said — and there was no question in my flat,
uncaring voice.

Jasper looked at me sharply. I kept my expression vacant and waited. His
eyes were confused as they flickered swiftly between Alice's face and
mine, feeling the chaos… for I could guess what Alice had seen now.

I felt a tranquil atmosphere settle around me. I welcomed it, using it to
keep my emotions disciplined, under control.

Alice, too, recovered herself.

"Nothing, really," she answered finally, her voice remarkably calm and
convincing. "Just the same room as before."

She finally looked at me, her expression smooth and withdrawn. "Did you
want breakfast?"

"No, I'll eat at the airport." I was very calm, too. I went to the
bathroom to shower. Almost as if I were borrowing Jasper's strange extra
sense, I could feel Alice's wild — though well-concealed — desperation to
have me out of the room, to be alone with Jasper. So she could tell him
that they were doing something wrong, that they were going to fail…

I got ready methodically, concentrating on each little task. I left my
hair down, swirling around me, covering my face. The peaceful mood Jasper
created worked its way through me and helped me think clearly. Helped me
plan. I dug through my bag until I found my sock full of money. I emptied
it into my pocket.

I was anxious to get to the airport, and glad when we left by seven. I
sat alone this time in the back of the dark car. Alice leaned against the
door, her face toward Jasper but, behind her sunglasses, shooting glances
in my direction every few seconds.

"Alice?" I asked indifferently.

She was wary. "Yes?"

"How does it work? The things that you see?" I stared out the side
window, and my voice sounded bored. "Edward said it wasn't definite… that
things change?" It was harder than I would have thought to say his name.
That must have been what alerted Jasper, why a fresh wave of serenity
filled the car.

"Yes, things change…" she murmured — hopefully, I thought. "Some things
are more certain than others… like the weather. People are harder. I only
see the course they're on while they're on it. Once they change their
minds — make a new decision, no matter how small — the whole future
shifts."

I nodded thoughtfully. "So you couldn't see James in Phoenix until he
decided to come here."

"Yes," she agreed, wary again.

And she hadn't seen me in the mirror room with James until I'd made the
decision to meet him there. I tried not to think about what else she
might have seen. I didn't want my panic to make Jasper more suspicious.
They would be watching me twice as carefully now, anyway, after Alice's
vision. This was going to be impossible.

We got to the airport. Luck was with me, or maybe it was just good odds.
Edward's plane was landing in terminal four, the largest terminal, where
most flights landed — so it wasn't surprising that his was. But it was
the terminal I needed: the biggest, the most confusing. And there was a
door on level three that might be the only chance.

We parked on the fourth floor of the huge garage. I led the way, for once
more knowledgeable about my surroundings than they were. We took the
elevator down to level three, where the passengers unloaded. Alice and
Jasper spent a long time looking at the departing flights board. I could
hear them discussing the pros and cons of New York, Atlanta, Chicago.
Places I'd never seen. And would never see.

I waited for my opportunity, impatient, unable to stop my toe from
tapping. We sat in the long rows of chairs by the metal detectors, Jasper
and Alice pretending to people-watch but really watching me. Every inch I
shifted in my seat was followed by a quick glance out of the corner of
their eyes. It was hopeless. Should I run? Would they dare to stop me
physically in this public place? Or would they simply follow?

I pulled the unmarked envelope out of my pocket and set it on top of
Alice's black leather bag. She looked at me.

"My letter," I said. She nodded, tucking it under the top flap. He would
find it soon enough.

The minutes passed and Edward's arrival grew closer. It was amazing how
every cell in my body seemed to know he was coming, to long for his
coming. That made it very hard. I found myself trying to think of excuses
to stay, to see him first and then make my escape. But I knew that was
impossible if I was going to have any chance to get away.

Several times Alice offered to go get breakfast with me. Later, I told
her, not yet.

I stared at the arrival board, watching as flight after flight arrived on
time. The flight from Seattle crept closer to the top of the board.

And then, when I had only thirty minutes to make my escape, the numbers
changed. His plane was ten minutes early. I had no more time.

"I think I'll eat now," I said quickly.

Alice stood. "I'll come with you."

"Do you mind if Jasper comes instead?" I asked. "I'm feeling a little…" I
didn't finish the sentence. My eyes were wild enough to convey what I
didn't say.

Jasper stood up. Alice's eyes were confused, but — I saw to my relief—
not suspicious. She must be attributing the change in her vision to some
maneuver of the tracker's rather than a betrayal by me.

Jasper walked silently beside me, his hand on the small of my back, as if
he were guiding me. I pretended a lack of interest in the first few
airport cafes, my head scanning for what I really wanted. And there it
was, around the corner, out of Alice's sharp sight: the level-three
ladies' room.

"Do you mind?" I asked Jasper as we passed. "I'll just be a moment."

"I'll be right here," he said.

As soon as the door shut behind me, I was running. I remembered the time
I had gotten lost from this bathroom, because it had two exits.

Outside the far door it was only a short sprint to the elevators, and if
Jasper stayed where he said he would, I'd never be in his line of sight.
I didn't look behind me as I ran. This was my only chance, and even if he
saw me, I had to keep going. People stared, but I ignored them. Around
the corner the elevators were waiting, and I dashed forward, throwing my
hand between the closing doors of a full elevator headed down. I squeezed
in beside the irritated passengers, and checked to make sure that the
button for level one had been pushed. It was already lit, and the doors
closed.

As soon as the door opened I was off again, to the sound of annoyed
murmurs behind me. I slowed myself as I passed the security guards by the
luggage carousels, only to break into a run again as the exit doors came
into view. I had no way of knowing if Jasper was looking for me yet.

I would have only seconds if he was following my scent. I jumped out the
automatic doors, nearly smacking into the glass when they opened too
slowly.

Along the crowded curb there wasn't a cab in sight.

I had no time. Alice and Jasper were either about to realize I was gone,
or they already had. They would find me in a heartbeat.

A shuttle to the Hyatt was just closing its doors a few feet behind me.

"Wait!" I called, running, waving at the driver.

"This is the shuttle to the Hyatt," the driver said in confusion as he
opened the doors.

"Yes," I huffed, "that's where I'm going." I hurried up the steps.

He looked askance at my luggage-less state, but then shrugged, not caring
enough to ask.

Most of the seats were empty. I sat as far from the other travelers as
possible, and watched out the window as first the sidewalk, and then the
airport, drifted away. I couldn't help imagining Edward, where he would
stand at the edge of the road when he found the end of my trail. I
couldn't cry yet, I told myself. I still had a long way to go.

My luck held. In front of the Hyatt, a tired-looking couple was getting
their last suitcase out of the trunk of a cab. I jumped out of the
shuttle and ran to the cab, sliding into the seat behind the driver. The
tired couple and the shuttle driver stared at me.

I told the surprised cabbie my mother's address. "I need to get there as
soon as possible."

"That's in Scottsdale," he complained.

I threw four twenties over the seat.

"Will that be enough?"

"Sure, kid, no problem."

I sat back against the seat, folding my arms across my lap. The familiar
city began to rush around me, but I didn't look out the windows. I
exerted myself to maintain control. I was determined not to lose myself
at this point, now that my plan was successfully completed. There was no
point in indulging in more terror, more anxiety. My path was set. I just
had to follow it now.

So, instead of panicking, I closed my eyes and spent the twenty minutes'

drive with Edward.

I imagined that I had stayed at the airport to meet Edward. I visualized
how I would stand on my toes, the sooner to see his face. How quickly,
how gracefully he would move through the crowds of people separating us.
And then I would run to close those last few feet between us — reckless
as always — and I would be in his marble arms, finally safe.

I wondered where we would have gone. North somewhere, so he could be
outside in the day. Or maybe somewhere very remote, so we could lay in
the sun together again. I imagined him by the shore, his skin sparkling
like the sea. It wouldn't matter how long we had to hide. To be trapped
in a hotel room with him would be a kind of heaven. So many questions I
still had for him. I could talk to him forever, never sleeping, never
leaving his side.

I could see his face so clearly now… almost hear his voice. And, despite
all the horror and hopelessness, I was fleetingly happy. So involved was
I in my escapist daydreams, I lost all track of the seconds racing by.

"Hey, what was the number?"

The cabbie's question punctured my fantasy, letting all the colors run
out of my lovely delusions. Fear, bleak and hard, was waiting to fill the
empty space they left behind.

"Fifty-eight twenty-one." My voice sounded strangled. The cabbie looked
at me, nervous that I was having an episode or something.

"Here we are, then." He was anxious to get me out of his car, probably
hoping I wouldn't ask for my change.

"Thank you," I whispered. There was no need to be afraid, I reminded
myself. The house was empty. I had to hurry; my mom was waiting for me,
frightened, depending on me.

I ran to the door, reaching up automatically to grab the key under the
eave. I unlocked the door. It was dark inside, empty, normal. I ran to
the phone, turning on the kitchen light on my way. There, on the
whiteboard, was a ten-digit number written in a small, neat hand. My
fingers stumbled over the keypad, making mistakes. I had to hang up and
start again. I concentrated only on the buttons this time, carefully
pressing each one in turn. I was successful. I held the phone to my ear
with a shaking hand. It rang only once.

"Hello, Bella," that easy voice answered. "That was very quick. I'm
impressed."

"Is my mom all right?"

"She's perfectly fine. Don't worry, Bella, I have no quarrel with her.
Unless you didn't come alone, of course." Light, amused.

"I'm alone." I'd never been more alone in my entire life.

"Very good. Now, do you know the ballet studio just around the corner
from your home?"

"Yes. I know how to get there."

"Well, then, I'll see you very soon."

I hung up.

I ran from the room, through the door, out into the baking heat.

There was no time to look back at my house, and I didn't want to see it
as it was now — empty, a symbol of fear instead of sanctuary. The last
person to walk through those familiar rooms was my enemy.

From the corner of my eye, I could almost see my mother standing in the
shade of the big eucalyptus tree where I'd played as a child. Or kneeling

by the little plot of dirt around the mailbox, the cemetery of all the
flowers she'd tried to grow. The memories were better than any reality I
would see today. But I raced away from them, toward the corner, leaving
everything behind me.

I felt so slow, like I was running through wet sand — I couldn't seem to
get enough purchase from the concrete. I tripped several times, once
falling, catching myself with my hands, scraping them on the sidewalk,
and then lurching up to plunge forward again. But at last I made it to
the corner. Just another street now; I ran, sweat pouring down my face,
gasping. The sun was hot on my skin, too bright as it bounced off the
white concrete and blinded me. I felt dangerously exposed. More fiercely
than I would have dreamed I was capable of, I wished for the green,
protective forests of Forks… of home.

When I rounded the last corner, onto Cactus, I could see the studio,
looking just as I remembered it. The parking lot in front was empty, the
vertical blinds in all the windows drawn. I couldn't run anymore — I
couldn't breathe; exertion and fear had gotten the best of me. I thought
of my mother to keep my feet moving, one in front of the other.

As I got closer, I could see the sign inside the door. It was handwritten
on hot pink paper; it said the dance studio was closed for spring break.
I touched the handle, tugged on it cautiously. It was unlocked. I fought
to catch my breath, and opened the door.

The lobby was dark and empty, cool, the air conditioner thrumming. The
plastic molded chairs were stacked along the walls, and the carpet
smelled like shampoo. The west dance floor was dark, I could see through
the open viewing window. The east dance floor, the bigger room, was lit.
But the blinds were closed on the window.

Terror seized me so strongly that I was literally trapped by it. I
couldn't make my feet move forward.

And then my mother's voice called.

"Bella? Bella?" That same tone of hysterical panic. I sprinted to the
door, to the sound of her voice.

"Bella, you scared me! Don't you ever do that to me again!" Her voice
continued as I ran into the long, high-ceilinged room.

I stared around me, trying to find where her voice was coming from. I
heard her laugh, and I whirled to the sound.

There she was, on the TV screen, tousling my hair in relief. It was
Thanksgiving, and I was twelve. We'd gone to see my grandmother in
California, the last year before she died. We went to the beach one day,
and I'd leaned too far over the edge of the pier. She'd seen my feet
flailing, trying to reclaim my balance. "Bella? Bella?" she'd called to
me in fear.

And then the TV screen was blue.

I turned slowly. He was standing very still by the back exit, so still I
hadn't noticed him at first. In his hand was a remote control. We stared
at each other for a long moment, and then he smiled.

He walked toward me, quite close, and then passed me to put the remote
down next to the VCR. I turned carefully to watch him.

"Sorry about that, Bella, but isn't it better that your mother didn't
really have to be involved in all this?" His voice was courteous, kind.

And suddenly it hit me. My mother was safe. She was still in Florida.
She'd never gotten my message. She'd never been terrified by the dark red
eyes in the abnormally pale face before me. She was safe.

"Yes," I answered, my voice saturated with relief.

"You don't sound angry that I tricked you."

"I'm not." My sudden high made me brave. What did it matter now? It would
soon be over. Charlie and Mom would never be harmed, would never have to
fear. I felt almost giddy. Some analytical part of my mind warned me that
I was dangerously close to snapping from the stress.

"How odd. You really mean it." His dark eyes assessed me with interest.
The irises were nearly black, just a hint of ruby around the edges.
Thirsty. "I will give your strange coven this much, you humans can be
quite interesting. I guess I can see the draw of observing you. It's
amazing — some of you seem to have no sense of your own self-interest at
all."

He was standing a few feet away from me, arms folded, looking at me
curiously. There was no menace in his face or stance. He was so very
average-looking, nothing remarkable about his face or body at all. Just
the white skin, the circled eyes I'd grown so used to. He wore a pale
blue, long-sleeved shirt and faded blue jeans.

"I suppose you're going to tell me that your boyfriend will avenge you?"
he asked, hopefully it seemed to me.

"No, I don't think so. At least, I asked him not to."

"And what was his reply to that?"

"I don't know." It was strangely easy to converse with this genteel
hunter. "I left him a letter."

"How romantic, a last letter. And do you think he will honor it?" His
voice was just a little harder now, a hint of sarcasm marring his polite
tone.

"I hope so."

"Hmmm. Well, our hopes differ then. You see, this was all just a little
too easy, too quick. To be quite honest, I'm disappointed. I expected a
much greater challenge. And, after all, I only needed a little luck."

I waited in silence.

"When Victoria couldn't get to your father, I had her find out more about
you. There was no sense in running all over the planet chasing you down
when I could comfortably wait for you in a place of my choosing. So,
after I talked to Victoria, I decided to come to Phoenix to pay your
mother a visit. I'd heard you say you were going home. At first, I never
dreamed you meant it. But then I wondered. Humans can be very
predictable; they like to be somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. And
wouldn't it be the perfect ploy, to go to the last place you should be
when you're hiding — the place that you said you'd be.

"But of course I wasn't sure, it was just a hunch. I usually get a
feeling about the prey that I'm hunting, a sixth sense, if you will. I
listened to your message when I got to your mother's house, but of course
I couldn't be sure where you'd called from. It was very useful to have
your number, but you could have been in Antarctica for all I knew, and
the game wouldn't work unless you were close by.

"Then your boyfriend got on a plane to Phoenix. Victoria was monitoring
them for me, naturally; in a game with this many players, I couldn't be
working alone. And so they told me what I'd hoped, that you were here
after all. I was prepared; I'd already been through your charming home
movies. And then it was simply a matter of the bluff.

"Very easy, you know, not really up to my standards. So, you see, I'm
hoping you're wrong about your boyfriend. Edward, isn't it?"

I didn't answer. The bravado was wearing off. I sensed that he was coming
to the end of his gloat. It wasn't meant for me anyway. There was no
glory in beating me, a weak human.

"Would you mind, very much, if I left a little letter of my own for your

Edward?"

He took a step back and touched a palm-sized digital video camera
balanced carefully on top of the stereo. A small red light indicated that
it was already running. He adjusted it a few times, widened the frame. I
stared at him in horror.

"I'm sorry, but I just don't think he'll be able to resist hunting me
after he watches this. And I wouldn't want him to miss anything. It was
all for him, of course. You're simply a human, who unfortunately was in
the wrong place, at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the
wrong crowd, I might add."

He stepped toward me, smiling. "Before we begin…"

I felt a curl of nausea in the pit of my stomach as he spoke. This was
something I had not anticipated.

"I would just like to rub it in, just a little bit. The answer was there
all along, and I was so afraid Edward would see that and ruin my fun. It
happened once, oh, ages ago. The one and only time my prey escaped me.

"You see, the vampire who was so stupidly fond of this little victim made
the choice that your Edward was too weak to make. When the old one knew I
was after his little friend, he stole her from the asylum where he worked
— I never will understand the obsession some vampires seem to form with
you humans — and as soon as he freed her he made her safe. She didn't
even seem to notice the pain, poor little creature. She'd been stuck in
that black hole of a cell for so long. A hundred years earlier and she
would have been burned at the stake for her visions. In the
nineteen-twenties it was the asylum and the shock treatments. When she
opened her eyes, strong with her fresh youth, it was like she'd never
seen the sun before. The old vampire made her a strong new vampire, and
there was no reason for me to touch her then." He sighed. "I destroyed
the old one in vengeance."

"Alice," I breathed, astonished.

"Yes, your little friend. I was surprised to see her in the clearing. So
I guess her coven ought to be able to derive some comfort from this
experience. I get you, but they get her. The one victim who escaped me,
quite an honor, actually.

"And she did smell so delicious. I still regret that I never got to
taste… She smelled even better than you do. Sorry — I don't mean to be
offensive. You have a very nice smell. Floral, somehow…"

He took another step toward me, till he was just inches away. He lifted a
lock of my hair and sniffed at it delicately. Then he gently patted the
strand back into place, and I felt his cool fingertips against my throat.
He reached up to stroke my cheek once quickly with his thumb, his face
curious. I wanted so badly to run, but I was frozen. I couldn't even
flinch away.

"No," he murmured to himself as he dropped his hand, "I don't
understand." He sighed. "Well, I suppose we should get on with it. And
then I can call your friends and tell them where to find you, and my
little message."

I was definitely sick now. There was pain coming, I could see it in his
eyes. It wouldn't be enough for him to win, to feed and go. There would
be no quick end like I'd been counting on. My knees began to shake, and I
was afraid I was going to fall.

He stepped back, and began to circle, casually, as if he were trying to
get a better view of a statue in a museum. His face was still open and
friendly as he decided where to start.

Then he slumped forward, into a crouch I recognized, and his pleasant
smile slowly widened, grew, till it wasn't a smile at all but a
contortion of teeth, exposed and glistening.

I couldn't help myself— I tried to run. As useless as I knew it would be,
as weak as my knees already were, panic took over and I bolted for the
emergency door.

He was in front of me in a flash. I didn't see if he used his hand or his
foot, it was too fast. A crushing blow struck my chest — I felt myself
flying backward, and then heard the crunch as my head bashed into the
mirrors. The glass buckled, some of the pieces shattering and splintering
on the floor beside me.

I was too stunned to feel the pain. I couldn't breathe yet.

He walked toward me slowly.

"That's a very nice effect," he said, examining the mess of glass, his
voice friendly again. "I thought this room would be visually dramatic for
my little film. That's why I picked this place to meet you. It's perfect,
isn't it?"

I ignored him, scrambling on my hands and knees, crawling toward the
other door.

He was over me at once, his foot stepping down hard on my leg. I heard
the sickening snap before I felt it. But then I did feel it, and I
couldn't hold back my scream of agony. I twisted up to reach for my leg,
and he was standing over me, smiling.

"Would you like to rethink your last request?" he asked pleasantly. His
toe nudged my broken leg and I heard a piercing scream. With a shock, I
realized it was mine.

"Wouldn't you rather have Edward try to find me?" he prompted.

"No!" I croaked. "No, Edward, don't—" And then something smashed into my
face, throwing me back into the broken mirrors.

Over the pain of my leg, I felt the sharp rip across my scalp where the
glass cut into it. And then the warm wetness began to spread through my
hair with alarming speed. I could feel it soaking the shoulder of my
shirt, hear it dripping on the wood below. The smell of it twisted my
stomach.

Through the nausea and dizziness I saw something that gave me a sudden,
final shred of hope. His eyes, merely intent before, now burned with an
uncontrollable need. The blood — spreading crimson across my white shirt,
pooling rapidly on the floor — was driving him mad with thirst. No matter
his original intentions, he couldn't draw this out much longer.

Let it be quick now, was all I could hope as the flow of blood from my
head sucked my consciousness away with it. My eyes were closing.

I heard, as if from underwater, the final growl of the hunter. I could
see, through the long tunnels my eyes had become, his dark shape coming
toward me. With my last effort, my hand instinctively raised to protect
my face. My eyes closed, and I drifted.

回复引用

ZxID：13286336

等级: 内阁元老

配偶: 四和七

离开时才明白，真的只有一个人走。

举报只看该作者 22楼发表于: 2012-08-16 0

第二十三章天使

第二十三章天使

当我感觉自己在漂浮的时候，我做梦了。

当我漂浮着，沉入黑暗的水底的时候，我听到了我的脑子所能想象到的最令我愉快的声音——美丽的，令人振奋的声音，尽管它听起来是那么的吓人。那是另一阵咆哮声，一阵更加深邃的，更加野蛮的，充满狂怒咆哮。

我被举起的手臂上传来的剧烈的疼痛拉了回来，几乎要回到水面上了。但我的意识依然涣散着，没法让自己睁开眼睛。

然后，我知道自己已经死了。

因为，透过厚重的水面，我听到了一个天使的声音，他正呼唤着我的名字，呼唤我到达我唯一想要的天堂。

“哦不，贝拉，不！”天使的声音惊恐地大喊着。

在那充满渴望的声音背后，是另外一种嘈杂的声音——一阵我的脑子努力回避着的，吓人的骚动。一个邪恶的男低音咆哮着，一阵可怕的咔嚓声，然后是一声高亢的哀号，忽然间中断了……

我试图不去理会那些噪音，把注意力集中到天使的声音上。

“贝拉，求你了！贝拉，听我说话，求你了，求你了，贝拉，求你了！”他恳求着。

好的。我想这样说。无论你想说什么。但我找不到我的嘴唇。

“卡莱尔！”那个天使呼喊着，完美的声音里充满了痛苦。“贝拉，贝拉，不，哦求你了，不，不！”那个天使无泪地哭泣着，哭得支离破碎。

天使不应该哭泣的，这不对。我试图找到他，告诉他一切都很好，但这水太深了，水重重地压在我身上，我没法呼吸了。

还有另外一种压力刺激着我的头。是一种疼痛。然后，当这种疼痛冲破黑暗向我袭来时，另一阵疼痛袭来，是更加强烈的痛楚。我尖叫起来，喘息着，冲出了那个黑暗的池子。

“贝拉！”天使大喊道。

“她有点失血过多，但她的头伤得并不重。”一个冷静的声音告诉我。“当心她的腿，它折断了。”

一声狂怒的咆哮被天使死死咬在唇边。

我感到身体的一侧有一种钻心的疼痛。我不可能是在天堂，不是吗？这里太痛苦了。

“还有一些毒液，我想。”那个有条不紊的声音继续说着。

但那种尖锐的疼痛正渐渐褪去。我又感到了一种新疼痛，我的手上传来一种灼烧的疼痛，这种痛楚比其他任何别的疼痛都要强烈。

某人正灼烧着我。

“爱德华。”我试图告诉他，但我的声音是那么的沉重和迟缓。我甚至听不懂自己在说什么。

“贝拉，你会好起来的。你能听到我说话吗，贝拉？我爱你！”

“爱德华。”我又试了一次。我的声音清楚一点了。

“是的，我在这儿。”

“很痛。”我耳语着。

“我知道，贝拉，我知道”——然后，他的声音离我而去，显得很痛苦——“你不能做点什么吗？”

“请你去拿我的包……屏住呼吸，爱丽丝，这会很管用。”卡莱尔保证道

“爱丽丝？”我低吟着。

“她在这里。她知道上哪儿找你。”

“我的手很痛。”我试图告诉他。

“我知道，贝拉。卡莱尔会给你注射一点东西，给你止痛。”

“我的手在燃烧！”我尖叫着，最终挣脱了最后一点黑暗，我的眼睛颤抖着睁开了。我看不见他的脸，某些阴暗而温暖的东西遮蔽了我的视线。他们为什么看不见火焰，把它扑灭呢？

他的声音听起来吓坏了。“贝拉？”

“火！快来人把火扑灭！”我尖叫着，火焰灼烧着我。

“卡莱尔！她的手！”

“他咬了她。”卡莱尔的声音不再平静，开始惶恐起来。（我忽然明白了卡伦们那时为什么不放着不管让贝拉转变。。。他们觉得在贝拉有另一种选择时，这样做是在犯罪。。。）

我听到爱德华恐惧地屏住了呼吸。

“爱德华，你必须这样做。”那是爱丽丝的声音，就在靠近我头部的地方传来。冰冷的指尖轻轻抹去了我眼角的泪珠。

“不！”他吼道。

“爱丽丝。”我呻吟着。

“这也许是个机会。”卡莱尔说道。

“什么？”爱德华恳求着。

“看你能否把毒液吸出来。这个伤口相当干净。”卡莱尔说话时，我能感到我的头部传来的压迫感，某种东西正戳探着，牵扯着我的头皮。但这种痛楚消失在了火焰带来的疼痛中。

“这会有用吗？”爱丽丝的声音听起来很紧张。

“我不知道。”卡莱尔说道。“但我们得抓紧时间。”

“卡莱尔，我……”爱德华迟疑着。“我不知道自己能否做到。”痛苦再次出现在了他美丽的声音里。

“总之，这得由你来决定，爱德华。我帮不了你。如果你打算从她手上把毒血吸掉的话，我得让这里止血。”

我困住那阵炽热的折磨中，痛苦地翻滚着，这个举动让我腿上的疼痛若隐若现，这简直令人厌恶。

“爱德华！”我尖叫着。我发觉自己的眼睛又闭上了。我睁开双眼，不顾一切地想要找到他的脸，然后，我找到他了。我终于看到了他那完美的面孔，他正注视着我，他的五官扭曲成一张写满了犹豫和痛苦的面具。

“爱丽丝，给我点东西固定她的腿！”卡莱尔向我俯下身来，在我的头上忙碌着。“爱德华，你必须现在就做，否则就太迟了。”

爱德华的脸上写满了挣扎。我看着他的眼睛，他眼里的犹疑迅速被炽烈的决定（毅然决然的决定）所取代。他的下巴绷紧了。我感觉到他冰冷有力的手指落在我灼烧着的手上，把它按好。然后，他向我的手俯下头去，他冰冷的唇压在了我的肌肤上。

起初，疼痛变得更加剧烈了。我尖叫着，挣脱了他冰冷的手，但他把我拽了回来。我听到了爱丽丝的声音，她试图让我冷静下来。某个沉重的东西把我的腿压在了地板上，而卡莱尔用他石头般的双臂钳紧了我的头。

然后，慢慢地，我的翻滚渐渐平息下来，我的手变得越来越麻木。火焰慢慢地褪去，集中在了一个更小的点上。

我感觉到，随着疼痛渐渐消失，我的意识也渐渐淡薄起来。我怕再次落入那黑暗的水中，害怕自己会在黑暗中失去他。

“爱德华。”我试图说话，但我根本听不见自己的声音。他们能听见我的声音。

“他就在这里，贝拉。”

“留下来，爱德华，留下来陪我……”

“我会的。”他的声音很紧张，但不知怎的，却洋溢着某种胜利的喜悦。

我心满意足地叹息着。火焰消失了。别的痛楚被一阵席卷我全身的睡意所削弱了。

“都吸出来了吗？”卡莱尔从远处的某个地方问道。

“她的血尝起来很干净。”爱德华安静地说道。“我能尝到马啡的味道。”

“贝拉？”卡莱尔向我喊道。

我试图回答。“嗯？”

“火焰消失了吗？”

“是的。”我叹息着。“谢谢你，爱德华。”

“我爱你。”他答道。

“我知道。”我低声说着，感到那么的疲惫。

我听到了在这世界上我最爱的声音：爱德华安静的笑声，他的声音因为宽慰而有些无力。

“贝拉？”卡莱尔又问道。

我皱起了眉头。我只想睡觉。“什么？”

“你母亲在哪里？”

“在佛罗里达。”我叹了口气。“他骗了我，爱德华。他看了我们的录像。”我声音里的愤怒微弱得可悲。

但这提醒了我。

“爱丽丝。”我试图睁开眼睛。“爱丽丝，那段视频——他认识你，爱丽丝，他知道你从哪里来。”我刻意说得紧迫些，但我的声音太虚弱了。“我闻到了汽油的味道。”我补充道，惊讶穿透了我脑海里的薄雾。

“是时候挪动她了。”卡莱尔说道。

“不，我只想睡觉。”我抱怨道。

“你尽管睡，甜心，我会抱着你的。”爱德华安抚着我。

然后，我落入了他的环抱，就好像躺在摇篮里一样，紧贴着他的胸膛——我在漂浮着，所有的疼痛都消失了。

“睡吧，贝拉。”这是我所听到的最后一句话。
23. THE ANGEL

As I drifted, I dreamed.

Where I floated, under the dark water, I heard the happiest sound my mind
could conjure up — as beautiful, as uplifting, as it was ghastly. It was
another snarl; a deeper, wilder roar that rang with fury.

I was brought back, almost to the surface, by a sharp pain slashing my

upraised hand, but I couldn't find my way back far enough to open my eyes.

And then I knew I was dead.

Because, through the heavy water, I heard the sound of an angel calling
my name, calling me to the only heaven I wanted.

"Oh no, Bella, no!" the angel's voice cried in horror.

Behind that longed-for sound was another noise — an awful tumult that my
mind shied away from. A vicious bass growling, a shocking snapping sound,
and a high keening, suddenly breaking off…

I tried to concentrate on the angel's voice instead.

"Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!" he
begged.

Yes, I wanted to say. Anything. But I couldn't find my lips.

"Carlisle!" the angel called, agony in his perfect voice. "Bella, Bella,
no, oh please, no, no!" And the angel was sobbing tearless, broken sobs.

The angel shouldn't weep, it was wrong. I tried to find him, to tell him
everything was fine, but the water was so deep, it was pressing on me,
and I couldn't breathe.

There was a point of pressure against my head. It hurt. Then, as that
pain broke through the darkness to me, other pains came, stronger pains.
I cried out, gasping, breaking through the dark pool.

"Bella!" the angel cried.

"She's lost some blood, but the head wound isn't deep," a calm voice
informed me. "Watch out for her leg, it's broken."

A howl of rage strangled on the angel's lips.

I felt a sharp stab in my side. This couldn't be heaven, could it? There
was too much pain for that.

"Some ribs, too, I think," the methodical voice continued.

But the sharp pains were fading. There was a new pain, a scalding pain in
my hand that was overshadowing everything else.

Someone was burning me.

"Edward." I tried to tell him, but my voice was so heavy and slow. I
couldn't understand myself.

"Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella? I love you."

"Edward," I tried again. My voice was a little clearer.

"Yes, I'm here."

"It hurts," I whimpered.

"I know, Bella, I know" — and then, away from me, anguished — "can't you
do anything?"

"My bag, please… Hold your breath, Alice, it will help," Carlisle
promised.

"Alice?" I groaned.

"She's here, she knew where to find you."

"My hand hurts," I tried to tell him.

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop."

"My hand is burning!" I screamed, finally breaking through the last of
the darkness, my eyes fluttering open. I couldn't see his face, something
dark and warm was clouding my eyes. Why couldn't they see the fire and
put it out?

His voice was frightened. "Bella?"

"The fire! Someone stop the fire!" I screamed as it burned me.

"Carlisle! Her hand!"

"He bit her." Carlisle's voice was no longer calm, it was appalled.

I heard Edward catch his breath in horror.

"Edward, you have to do it." It was Alice's voice, close by my head. Cool
fingers brushed at the wetness in my eyes.

"No!" he bellowed.

"Alice," I moaned.

"There may be a chance," Carlisle said.

"What?" Edward begged.

"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean." As
Carlisle spoke, I could feel more pressure on my head, something poking
and pulling at my scalp. The pain of it was lost in the pain of the fire.

"Will that work?" Alice's voice was strained.

"I don't know," Carlisle said. "But we have to hurry."

"Carlisle, I…" Edward hesitated. "I don't know if I can do that." There
was agony in his beautiful voice again.

"It's your decision, Edward, either way. I can't help you. I have to get
this bleeding stopped here if you're going to be taking blood from her
hand."

I writhed in the grip of the fiery torture, the movement making the pain
in my leg flare sickeningly.

"Edward!" I screamed. I realized my eyes were closed again. I opened
them, desperate to find his face. And I found him. Finally, I could see
his perfect face, staring at me, twisted into a mask of indecision and
pain.

"Alice, get me something to brace her leg!" Carlisle was bent over me,
working on my head. "Edward, you must do it now, or it will be too late."

Edward's face was drawn. I watched his eyes as the doubt was suddenly
replaced with a blazing determination. His jaw tightened. I felt his
cool, strong fingers on my burning hand, locking it in place. Then his
head bent over it, and his cold lips pressed against my skin.

At first the pain was worse. I screamed and thrashed against the cool
hands that held me back. I heard Alice's voice, trying to calm me.
Something heavy held my leg to the floor, and Carlisle had my head locked
in the vise of his stone arms.

Then, slowly, my writhing calmed as my hand grew more and more numb. The
fire was dulling, focusing into an ever-smaller point.

I felt my consciousness slipping as the pain subsided. I was afraid to
fall into the black waters again, afraid I would lose him in the darkness.

"Edward," I tried to say, but I couldn't hear my voice. They could hear
me.

"He's right here, Bella."

"Stay, Edward, stay with me…"

"I will." His voice was strained, but somehow triumphant.

I sighed contentedly. The fire was gone, the other pains dulled by a
sleepiness seeping through my body.

"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked from somewhere far away.

"Her blood tastes clean," Edward said quietly. "I can taste the morphine."

"Bella?" Carlisle called to me.

I tried to answer. "Mmmmm?"

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Thank you, Edward."

"I love you," he answered.

"I know," I breathed, so tired.

I heard my favorite sound in the world: Edward's quiet laugh, weak with
relief.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked again.

I frowned; I wanted to sleep. "What?"

"Where is your mother?"

"In Florida," I sighed. "He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos."
The outrage in my voice was pitifully frail.

But that reminded me.

"Alice." I tried to open my eyes. "Alice, the video — he knew you, Alice,
he knew where you came from." I meant to speak urgently, but my voice was
feeble. "I smell gasoline," I added, surprised through the haze in my
brain.

"It's time to move her," Carlisle said.

"No, I want to sleep," I complained.

"You can sleep, sweetheart, I'll carry you," Edward soothed me.

And I was in his arms, cradled against his chest — floating, all the pain
gone.

"Sleep now, Bella" were the last words I heard.

回复引用

ZxID：13286336

等级: 内阁元老

配偶: 四和七

离开时才明白，真的只有一个人走。

举报只看该作者 23楼发表于: 2012-08-16 0

暮色中文完结

第二十四章僵局

第二十四章僵局

我睁开眼睛，对上了一盏明亮的白色的灯。我在一间陌生的房间里，一间全白的房间。我身边的墙上覆满了长长的垂直百叶窗。在我的头顶上，耀眼的灯光让我的视线模糊起来。我躺在一张硬邦邦的，很不平坦的床上，床边还装着栏杆。枕头很扁，凹凸不平。附近的某处传来了一阵恼人的蜂鸣声。我希望这意味着我还活着。死亡不应该这么不舒服。

我的手上插满了透明的软管，一根管子一样的东西缠在我的脸上，就在我的鼻子下方。我抬起手，想把它拿开。

“不，你不能。”冰冷的手指抓住了我的手。

“爱德华？”我稍稍转过头去，他的脸离我的脸只有数英寸远，他的下巴靠在了我的枕头的边缘。我再次意识到自己还活着，这一次还带着感激和兴高采烈的情绪。“哦，爱德华，我非常抱歉！”

“嘘，”他嘘声示意我安静下来。“现在一切都没事了。”

“发生了什么事？”我记不太清了，当我试图回想的时候，我的脑子抗拒着我。

“我来得太迟了。我本来很有可能赶不上的。”他耳语着，声音里充满了痛苦。

“我太蠢了，爱德华。我以为他抓住了我妈妈。”

“他欺骗了我们所有人。”

“我得打电话给查理和我妈妈。”我模模糊糊地意识到这一点。

“爱丽丝打过电话了。蕾妮就在这里——嗯，在这间医院里。她现在去吃点东西了。”

“她在这里？”我试图坐起来，但我的脑子晕得更厉害了，他的手温柔地把我推回枕头上去。

“她很快就会回来的，”他保证道。“而且你得一动不动得待在这里。”

“可你是怎么告诉她的？”我惊慌失措地说道。我对被安抚丝毫不感兴趣。我妈妈在这里，而我正从一次吸血鬼的袭击下康复过来。“为什么你要告诉她我在这里呢？”

“你从两截楼梯上掉了下来，撞破了窗子。”他顿了顿。“你得承认，这是有可能发生的。”

我叹了口气，这个动作让我隐隐作痛。我低下头，看着被单下的自己，那一团巨大的隆起是我的腿。

“我的情况有多糟？”我问道。

“你折断了一条腿，四根肋骨。你的头盖骨上有一些裂缝，你皮肤上每一英寸都伤痕累累。你还流了很多血。他们给你输了许多血。我不喜欢这样——这让你有一阵子闻起来都很不对劲。”

“这对你来说一定是个不错的变化。”

“不，我喜欢你的味道。”

“你做了什么？”我安静地问道。他立刻明白了我的意思。

“我不能肯定。”他看向别处，避开了我怀疑的眼睛。他从床上拿起我裹着纱布的手，温柔地握在自己手里，小心翼翼地避免扯断那根把我连到其中一台监视器上的电线。

我耐心地等着他没说完的话。

他叹了口气，依然拒绝对上我的目光。“我根本没办法……停下来。”他低声说道。“根本不可能。但我做到了。”他最终抬起头，几乎微笑起来。“我一定很爱你。”
“我尝起来跟闻起来一样好吗？”我报以一笑。笑容扯痛了我的脸。

“还要更好些——甚至比我想象过的还有好。”

“对不起。”我道歉道。

他翻着眼睛，看着天花板。“在所有应该道歉的事情中（，你却选了这个）。”

“那我应该为什么而道歉？”

“为你差一点就让自己永远地离开我。”

“对不起。”我再次道歉。

“我知道你为什么要这样做。”他的声音有着安抚的味道。“当然，这样做还是很不理智。你应该等着我的，你应该告诉我的。”

“你不会让我走的。”

“是的，”他用冷酷的语气赞同道。“我不会这样做的。”

某些很不愉快的回忆开始闯入我的脑海。我颤抖着，然后畏缩起来。

他立刻焦急起来。“贝拉，怎么了？”

“詹姆斯怎么了？”

“在我把他从你身上拖开以后，艾美特和贾斯帕料理了他。”他的语气里有着一种尖锐的后悔。

这话让我困惑起来。“我没看见艾美特和贾斯帕在那里。”

“他们不得不离开那间屋子……到处都是血。”

“可你留下来了。”

“是的，我留下来了。”

“还有爱丽丝和卡莱尔……”我惊奇地说道。

“他们也爱你，你知道的。”

痛苦的画面（在我脑海里）一闪而过，我最后一次看见爱丽丝时的情景提醒了我某件事。“爱丽丝看了那卷带子没？”我焦急地问道。

“是的。”一丝新的声响使他的声音阴沉起来。那是一种全然的憎恨的语气。

“她几乎一直待在黑暗里，这就是为什么她什么都不记得了。”

“我知道。她现在全明白了。”他的声音很平坦，但他的脸阴沉着，写满了狂怒。

我试图用我空着的手去够他的脸，但某样东西阻止了我。我低下头，看见静脉注射管正扯着我的手。

“呃。”我退缩了。

“怎么了？”他担心地问道。他被分了神，但还不够。他眼里的阴郁依然没有完全褪去。

“针头。”我解释着，看向别处，不敢再看我手上的针头。我把注意力集中在一块扭曲的天花板砖上，试图不去理会肋骨传来的疼痛，深呼吸着。

“害怕针头。”他低声对自己说着，摇了摇头。“哦，一只暴虐成性的吸血鬼，想要把她折磨致死，当然，没问题，她逃出去去见他。另一方面，一根静脉注射针……”

我转了转眼睛。我很高兴地发现，至少，这个回应动作不会让我疼痛。我决定改变话题。

“你为什么会在这里？”我问道。

他起先困惑地盯着我，然后，痛苦浸染了他的眼神。他皱起眉，他的额头皱了起来。“你想要我离开吗？”

“不！”我断然否认，被这个想法吓坏了。“不，我是说，我妈妈会怎么看待你在这里这件事？在她回来以前，我得把这个故事给理顺了。”

“哦，”他说道，他的前额又变得像大理石般光滑平整了。“我来凤凰城是为了把我的感受告诉你，好说服你回到福克斯。”他睁大的眼睛显得那么诚恳和真挚，连我自己都差点要相信他了。“你同意和我见面，于是开车来我和卡莱尔还有爱丽丝住的宾馆——当然，我是在家长的监管下来这里的。”他一本正经地加上这句话。“但在来我房间的路上，你失足从楼梯上摔了下来……当然，剩下的部分你都知道了。不过，你不需要记住所有的细节。你已经有了一个很好的借口，那些更详尽的细节你可以装作有点糊涂蒙混过去。”

我思考了片刻。“这个故事还有很多漏洞。比方说，根本没有窗子被撞碎。”

“当然有。”他说道。“爱丽丝对伪造证据兴趣浓得有些过头。所有证据都被处理得相当有说服力——如果你愿意的话，你甚至可以起诉那家宾馆。你不需要担心这个。”他保证着，用最轻柔的力度抚摩着我的脸颊。“你现在唯一的任务就是养好身体（康复）。”

我对他的抚摩毫无反应，但这既不是因为我依然沉浸在痛苦之中，也不是因为药物带来的麻木。监视器的蜂鸣声忽然毫无规律地上下跃动起来——现在他不再是唯一一个能听到我的心丢脸地砰然乱跳（心跳失律）的人了。

“这会很令人尴尬的。”我低声自言自语道。

他轻笑起来，然后一丝好奇的（若有所思的/揣测的）神情在他的眼里一闪而过。“嗯，我想知道……”

他慢慢得俯下身来，那阵嘈杂的蜂鸣声疯狂地加速着，甚至是在他的唇吻上我之前。但是，在他的唇用最温柔的力度压下来时，蜂鸣声停住了。

他立刻退回去，一脸的担忧，直到监视器表明我的心脏已经重新启动，他焦虑的神情才转为放心。

“看样子，我得比平常更小心得跟你相处才行。”他皱起眉。

“我还没结束和你的这个吻呢，”我抱怨着。“不要逼我在这里扑过去。”

他咧嘴一笑，然后弯下身子轻轻地把他的唇压上我的唇。监视器抓狂了（暴走了）。

但随后，他的唇紧绷起来。他退了回去。

“我想我听到了你妈妈（的动静）。”他说着，又咧嘴笑了起来。

“别离开我。”我喊出声来，一阵蛮不讲理的汹涌的恐惧席卷了我。我不能让他走——他会再度从我身旁消失不见的。

只是短短的一秒钟，他就读懂了我的眼里的恐惧。“我不会的。”他严肃地保证道。然后，他笑了起来。“我会打个盹。”

他离开我床边的那张硬邦邦的塑料椅子，坐到我床脚的那张青绿色人造革躺椅上去。他完全躺了下去，闭上了眼睛。他真的一动不动。

“别忘了呼吸。”我讽刺地低声说道。他深吸了一口气，依然闭着眼睛。

现在连我都能听见我妈妈的声音了。她正和某人说着话，也许是个护士。她听起来既疲倦又担心。我真想从床上跳起来跑到她那里，安慰她冷静下来，向她保证一切都很好。但我现在的状态根本不可能做任何形式的跳跃动作，所以我只能安静地等着。

门被猛地退开了，她从门外偷看着。

“妈妈！”我低声说着，我的声音里充满了热爱（深情）和宽慰。

爱德华依旧维持着一动不动地睡在躺椅上的姿势，她看在眼里，踮着脚走的我的床边。

“他一直待在这里（他一直不肯离开），不是吗？”她低声自言自语着。

“妈妈，我真高兴看到你！”

她俯下身子，温柔地拥抱着我，我感觉到热泪正从我脸上留下来。

“贝拉，我真担心！”

“对不起，妈妈。但现在没事了，已经没事了。”我安慰着她。

“我真高兴，我最终看到你睁开眼睛了。”她在我的床沿上坐了下来。

我忽然意识到我还不知道现在是什么时候。“我的眼睛是从什么时候起闭上的？”（我睡了多久？）

“今晚是星期五，亲爱的，你睡了很长一段时间。”

“星期五？”我吃了一惊。我试图记起那件事是哪天发生的……但我不愿意去想它。

“他们不得不一直给你使用镇静剂，用了好长一段时间，甜心——你弄出了很多伤口。”

“我知道。”我能感觉到这些伤口的存在。

“你真幸运，卡伦医生就在那里。他真是个好人……不过，太年轻了点。他看上去更像一个模特，而非医生……”

“你见到卡莱尔了？”

“还有爱德华的妹妹爱丽丝。她是个可爱的女孩。”

“她确实是。”我完全赞成。

她越过自己的肩膀，瞥了一眼爱德华，后者依然躺在那张椅子上，紧紧地闭着双眼。“你还没告诉过我，你在福克斯交了个这么好的朋友。”

我畏缩了一下，然后呻吟起来。

“有哪里疼吗？”她担忧地问道，回过头来。爱德华的眼睛飞快地瞥了一下我的脸。

“我很好。”我向她保证道。“我只是刚刚想起来不能乱动。”他又回到他那个伪装的睡眠里去了。

我充分利用了我妈妈那一瞬间的分神，努力不让话题回到我那绝对称不上诚实的举动上。“菲尔在哪里？”我迅速问道。

“佛罗里达——哦，贝拉！你根本猜不到！就在我们要离开的时候，最好的消息来了！”

“菲尔拿到了合约？”我猜测着。

“是的！你是怎么猜到的！太阳队，你能相信吗？”

“太棒了，妈妈。”我竭尽全力，尽可能说得更热情些，尽管我根本不知道那意味着什么。

“你会喜欢杰克逊维尔的。”我茫然地盯着她，她滔滔不绝地说着。“当菲尔开始跟亚克朗市队沟通的时候，我还有些担心，因为那里到处都是冰雪，你知道我有多讨厌寒冷。但现在，杰克逊维尔！那里总是阳光灿烂，潮湿也没那么糟糕。我们找到了一所最可爱的房子，黄色的，装饰着白边，还有一个像老电影里那样的门廊，还有那棵巨大的橡树。而且那里离海边只有几分钟路程，你还能有你自己的浴室……”

“等等，妈妈？”我打断了她的话。爱德华依然闭着眼睛，但他的样子太紧张了，根本不像是在睡觉。“你在说什么？我不打算去佛罗里达。我住在福克斯。”

“可你不必这样做了，笨蛋。”她大笑起来。“现在菲尔能有更多的时间在附近了……我们已经就这个问题谈过很多次了，我打算作出让步，在他客场比赛的日子里，有一半时间陪着你，一半时间陪他。”

“妈妈。”我迟疑着，想知道怎样才能最圆滑得处理这件事。“我想要住在福克斯。我已经融入了那里的学校，我也有一两个闺蜜了”——我提醒了她关于朋友的事，她又瞥了一眼爱德华，所以我试着换了个方向——“还有，查理需要我。他在那里老是一个人，而且他完全不会烹饪。”

“你想要留在福克斯？”她不知所措地问道。这个想法对她来说太不可思议了。然后她的眼睛飞快地看向了爱德华。“为什么？”

“我告诉过你——学校，查理——”我耸了耸肩。这不是个好主意。

她的双手无助地在我身上徘徊着，试图找出一块安全的地方拍一下我。她最终拍了拍我的额头，只有那里没有包着绷带。

“贝拉，甜心，你讨厌福克斯。”她提醒我。

“那里没那么糟。”

她皱起眉，来来回回地看着爱德华和我，这次她看得不慌不忙，显然是故意的。

“是因为这个男孩吗？”她耳语道。

我张开嘴想要撒谎，但她的眼睛正仔细地审视着我的脸，我知道她会从我脸上看出来的。

“他是其中一部分原因。”我承认道。没有必要坦白交代这部分有多大。“所以，你找机会跟爱德华交谈过了？”我问道。

“是的。”她迟疑着，看着他优雅的安静的姿势。“我想要和你谈谈这件事。”

啊—噢。“什么事？”我问道。

“我觉得这个男孩爱上你了。”她指责道，依然把声音压得很低。
“我也这样觉得。”我向她吐露道。

“那么，你对他有什么感觉？”她只能勉强掩饰住自己语气里汹涌的好奇。

我叹了口气，看向别处。尽管我是那么的爱着我的妈妈，这依然不是一个我能和她交流的话题。“我对他简直着了迷。”瞧——这听起来像是一个十几岁的小孩在谈到她的初恋男友时会说的话。

“嗯，他似乎很不错，还有，我的天，他帅得简直让人难以置信，但你太年轻了，贝拉……”她的声音很没自信。就我所记得的情况而言，这是自我八岁时起，她头一次这么接近于竭力使自己听起来具有家长的威信。我认出了我和她谈男人时，那种通情达理但坚定不移的口气。
“我知道，妈妈。别担心这个。这只是一见倾心的狂热。”我安抚着她。

“没错。”她赞同着，很容易就开心起来了。

然后她叹了口气，满怀歉意地越过自己的肩膀看向墙上的那个大圆钟。

“你要离开了吗？”

她咬住唇。“菲尔过会儿会打电话来……我不知道你醒了。”

“没关系，妈妈。”我试图让自己的如释重负不那么明显，这样她就不会觉得受伤了。“我不会孤单的。”

“我很快回来。我要睡在这里，你知道的。”她宣布道，显然很为自己感到自豪。

“哦，妈妈，你不必这样做！你可以睡在家里——我根本没注意到这样做的差别（我不介意的）。”止痛药在我脑子里带来的眩晕现在让我更难集中注意力了，尽管，很显然，我已经睡了好几天了。
“我只是很不安。”她怯懦得承认道。“附近的街区发生了一些犯罪行为，我不想要独自待在家里。”

“犯罪？”我警惕地问道。

“有些人闯进了我们家拐角处的那间舞蹈教室，把它烧成了白地——什么都没留下来！然后他们还留了一辆偷来的车在门口。你还记得吗，你以前曾经去过那里上舞蹈课呢，甜心？”

“我记得。”我颤抖着，然后畏缩起来。

“我可以留下来，宝贝，只要你需要我。”

“不，妈妈，我很好。爱德华会陪着我的。”

她脸上的表情写着这就是她想留下来的原因。“今晚我会回来的。”与其说是一个保证，这听起来更像是一个警告。当她说话的时候，她又瞥了一眼爱德华。

“我爱你，妈妈。”

“我也爱你，贝拉。你走路的时候请更当心点，甜心，我不想失去你。”

爱德华的眼睛依然闭着，但一个大大的咧嘴一笑在他脸上一闪而过。

一个护士匆匆忙忙地走进来，检查了我身上所有的软管和电线。我妈妈亲吻了我的前额，轻拍了一下裹着纱布的手，然后离开了。

那个护士正在检查我的心电监护仪所打印出来的纸条。

“你感觉很不安吗，甜心？你的心率在这个点上有点儿高。”

“我很好。”我向她保证道。

“我会告诉你的注册护士（护理师）你醒了。她会在一分钟之内过来看你的。”

一等她关上门，爱德华立刻出现在了我床边。

“你偷了一辆车？”我扬起眉毛。

他微笑着，没有半点悔改的意思。“那是辆好车，非常快。”

“你的小睡怎么样？”我问道。

“非常有趣。”他眯起眼睛。

“什么？”

他垂下头去，答道：“我很惊讶。我以为佛罗里达……还有你妈妈……好吧，我以为那正是你想要的。”

我无法理解地盯着他。“可你在佛罗里达得终日困住屋里。你只能在夜里外号粗，就像一个真正的吸血鬼一样。”

他几乎要微笑起来了，但最终没有笑。然后他的脸黯淡下来。“我会待在福克斯，贝拉。或者某个类似于福克斯的地方。”他解释道。“某个我不会再伤害到你的地方。”

起初，我没有立刻领会他的话。我继续茫然地盯着他，那些话一个字一个字地输入我的脑海里，就像是一个可怕的谜团一样。我只能勉强注意到我的心跳加速的声音。不过，当我的呼吸变得紊乱起来的时候，我才意识到我的肋骨传来的表示抗议的剧痛。

他什么也没说，他警惕地看着我的脸。那种与破碎的骨头无关的疼痛，那种更加糟糕，糟糕到好无止境的疼痛，威胁着要把我碾碎。

然后，另一个护士目的明确地走进了房间。爱德华又一动不动地像块石头一样，她训练有素的眼睛把我的神情看在眼里，然后转向那些监视器。

“是时候再吃点止痛药了，甜心？”她友好地问道，轻叩了一下那个静脉注射器的瓶子。

“不，不用。”我喃喃低语着，试图去掉自己声音里的痛苦。“我什么也不要。”我无法承受在这个时候闭上眼睛。

“没有必要这样逞强，甜心。如果你不那么强迫自己忍耐（不憋着那么多压力），情况会更好些。你需要休息。”她等待着，但我只是摇了摇头。

“好吧。”她叹了口气。“等你准备好的时候，请按呼唤铃。”

她严厉地看了一眼爱德华，然后又瞥了一眼那台机器，眼里更多的是不安，最终离开了。

他冰冷的双手落在我的脸上。我睁得大大的眼睛盯着他。

“嘘，贝拉，冷静下来。”

“不要离开我。”我用破碎的声音恳求道。

“我不会的。”他保证道。“现在放松下来，等会儿我再把护士叫进来给你打镇静剂。”

但我的心跳依然没有慢下来。

“贝拉。”他焦急地轻拍着我的脸。“我哪里也不去。只要你需要我，我会一直待在这里。”

“你发誓，你不会离开我？”我低声说道。至少，我在竭力控制自己的喘息。我的肋骨在颤抖着。

他把手放在我的脸两侧，然后把脸侧向我的脸。他的眼睛睁大，显得很严肃。“我发誓。”

他呼出的气息是那么的慰藉人心。这似乎让我呼吸的疼痛减轻下来。他继续看着我的眼睛，直到我的身体慢慢放松下来，那阵蜂鸣声恢复到一种正常的节奏。他的眼睛很黑，今天他的眸色更接近于黑色而非金色。

“好些了？”他问道。

“是的。”我谨慎地说道。

他摇了摇头，然后喃喃低语着某些我无法理解的句子。我想我听到了“过度反应”这个词。

“你为什么要说这些。”我耳语着，竭力不让自己的声音发颤。“你厌倦了不得不全天候地救援我吗？你想要我离开你吗？”

“不，我不能没有你，贝拉，当然不能。讲道理一点。我对拯救你也毫无意见——如果不是因为事实上我正是那个让身陷险境的人的话……我正是让你现在待在这里的原因。”

“是的，你正是原因所在。”我皱起眉。“让我待在这里……活着的原因。”

“仅仅是活着。”他的声音几近耳语。“包裹在绷带和石膏里，几乎没法动弹。”

“我不是在说我最近一次濒于死亡的经历。”我说着，有些生气起来。“我在想别的事情——你可以选择的。如果不是因为你，我会在福克斯的公墓里腐烂掉。”

他因为我的话而畏缩了一下，但那种饱受折磨的神情依然没有离开他的眼底。

“不过，这还不是最糟糕部分。”他继续耳语着，表现得就好像我什么也没说一样。“不是看到你躺在地板上……扭曲着，伤痕累累。”他的声音有些梗咽。“不是以为我已经来得太迟。甚至不是听到了你痛苦的尖叫——这一切令人难以忍受的记忆都将会在我无尽的余生中纠缠着我。不，最糟糕的是那种感觉……我知道我没法停下来。我确信我会亲手杀了你的。”

“可你没有。”

“我会的。只差一点（这太容易了）。”

我知道我必须保持冷静……但他正在试图说服自己离开我，恐惧在我的肺部里挣扎着，想要冲出来。

“向我保证。”我耳语着。

“什么？”

“你知道的。”现在我开始生气了。他太固执地决心要详细描述那些消极的事情。

他听出了我语气的变化。他的眼神紧绷起来。“我不够坚强，没法让自己离开你，所以我猜你得用你自己的方式离开……不管这会不会杀了你。”他粗鲁地补充道。

“很好。”尽管，他没有做出保证——这是我无法回避的事实。恐惧只能勉强维持着。我再也没有气力控制自己的愤怒了。“你告诉过我你是怎么停下来的……现在我要知道为什么。”我诘问道。

“为什么？”他警惕地重复道。

“为什么你要这样做。为什么你不让毒液继续传播下去？那样现在我就像你一样了。”

爱德华的眼睛变成了全然的黑色，我想起来了，这是他永远也不想让我知道的事。爱丽丝一定在一心一意地想着自己的事情……或者当他在附近的时候，她一定对自己的想法很小心——很显然，他完全不知道她已经向我灌输了吸血鬼转变的技术性细节。他很惊讶，也生气了。他的鼻孔张大了，他的嘴巴看上去就像是用石头凿出来的一样。

他不打算回答，这很明白。

“首先，我得承认我对亲密关系没什么亲身体会。”我说道。“但这更合乎逻辑……男人和女人应当稍微平等些……就像是，不能老是他们中的一个突然出现然后拯救另一个。他们应该平等的，互相援助。”

他把手臂交叠在我的床边，然后把下巴放在自己的手臂上。他的表情平静下来，他的愤怒遏制住了。很显然他已经决定了不对我发火了。我希望我有机会在他抓到爱丽丝以前警告她。

“你确实救了我。”他安静地说着。

“我不能总当露易丝.莱恩。”我坚持着。“我也想当超人。”
“你不知道你自己在要求着什么。”他的声音很温柔，他紧张地盯着枕头套的边缘。

“我想我知道。”

“贝拉，你不知道。我花了将近九十年的时间去思考这件事，而我还是不能确定。”

“你希望卡莱尔没有救你吗？”

“不，我不希望那样。”他停顿了片刻，然后继续说道。“但我的生命已经结束了。我不必放弃任何东西。”

“你就是我的生命。失去你是唯一能伤害我的事。”我能更好地说出这话了。承认我有多么需要他变得容易了。

可是，他非常地冷静。他做出了决定。

“我不能这样做，贝拉。我不能让那样的事发生在你身上。”

“为什么不能？”我的喉头沙哑着，我大声地说出了那句话，尽管我本意并不想这样大声说的。“别告诉我这太艰难了！在今天以后，或者我猜那已经是很多天以前的事了……无论如何，在那之后，这就不算什么。”

他瞪着我。

“那疼痛呢？”他问道。

我脸色发白。我没法控制住自己。但我试图不让自己的神情表现得太明白。我记起来那种感觉……火焰在我的血管里燃烧着。

“这是我的问题。”我说道。“我能把握住。”

“在情况失控的时候，勇气也许会很有帮助的。”

“这不是问题。就三天。有什么大不了的。”

爱德华又扮了个鬼脸。我的话提醒了他，我比他所希望的知道得更多。我看着他强抑住自己的愤怒，看着他的眼神变得揣度起来。

“查理？”他简要地问道。“蕾妮？”

时间在沉默中一分一秒地过去，我挣扎着想要回答他的问题。我张开嘴巴，但发不出声音。我又闭上了嘴巴。他等待着，然后露出了胜利的神情。因为他知道我没法如实回答。

“看，这也不是问题。”我最终喃喃低语道。当我撒谎的时候，我的声音总是没法让人信服。“蕾妮总会为自己做出选择——她也想要我这样做。而查理能恢复过来，他过去一直是一个人。我不能永远为他们操心。我有我自己的人生要过。”

“确实如此。”他猛地说道。“而我不能结束你的人生。”

“如果你在等我奄奄一息的时候，那我有好消息要告诉你！我就在这里！（我已经奄奄一息了！）”

“你会好起来的。”他提醒我。

我深吸了一口气，让自己冷静下来，不去理会这个动作带来的一阵痉挛的疼痛。我瞪着他，他瞪了回来，脸上没有半点让步。

“不，”我慢慢地说道。“我不会的。”

他的前额皱了起来。“当然你会的。你只会留下一两个伤疤……”

“你错了。”我坚持说道。“我会死的。”

“真的，贝拉。”现在他焦急起来了。“你只需在这里待上几天就能出院了。最多两周。”

我瞪着他。“我也许不会在现在死去……但我终有一日会死去的。每一天，每一分钟，我都在离死亡更近。而且我会变老的。”

他听着我说的话，皱起了眉头，把他长长的手指压在鬓角，然后闭上了眼睛。“这正是应该发生的事情。这是本来应该发生的事情。如果我没有出现的话，这早该发生了——而我根本不应该出现。”

我哼了一声。他惊讶地睁开眼睛。“这太愚蠢了。就像是某个人刚刚赢得了一张彩票，把钱都领走了，然后说‘看，让我们回到从前，事情应该是那样子的，那样会更好些。’我不会买账的。（我不会接受这种说法的）”

“我绝对不是一份彩票大奖。”他咆哮着。

“没错。你要好多了。”

他翻了翻眼睛，然后启唇说道：“贝拉，我们不会再继续讨论这个话题了。我拒绝诅咒你陷入无尽的黑夜。到此为止。”

“如果你认为这事就这样结束了，那你就太不了解我了。”我警告他。“你不是我认识的唯一一个吸血鬼。”

他的眼睛又变暗了。“爱丽丝没这个胆量。”

然后有一瞬间，他看上去是那么可怕。我情不自禁地想要相信这一点——我想象不出有人能勇敢与他面对面。

“爱丽丝已经看到了，不是吗？”我猜测着。“这就是为什么她说这些会让你心烦。她知道我会成为像你们那样的人……终有一日会的。”

“她错了。她也看见过你的死亡，但这也没有发生。”

“你永远也逮不到我和爱丽丝打赌。”

我们都盯着对方，瞪了很久很久。屋里安静得只能听到机器的呼呼声，蜂鸣声，滴水声，还有墙上的钟的滴答声。最终，他的表情缓和下来了。

“所以，我们现在进行到哪儿了？”我想知道。

他毫无幽默地轻笑起来。“我相信，这叫僵局。”

我叹了口气。“哎唷。”我低声说道。

“你感觉怎么样？”他问道，眼睛盯着呼唤护士的那个按钮。

“我很好，”我撒了谎。

“我不会相信你的。”他温柔地说道。

“我不想睡过去。”

“你需要休息。这些争论对你没好处。”

“那么，投降吧。”我暗示着。

“不错的尝试。”他伸手去够那个按钮。

“不！”

他不理会我。

“怎么了？”墙上传来的说话声问道。

“我想我们已经准备好使用更多的止痛药了。”他冷静地说道，完全不顾我狂怒的神情。

“我会去叫护士。”那个声音听起来很厌烦。

“我不会服药的。”我保证道。

他看向挂在我床边的那个输液袋。“我不认为他们会要你吞药片的。”

我的心率开始加快了。他看懂了我眼里的害怕，然后挫败地叹了口气。

“贝拉，你很疼。你需要休息，这样你才能康复。为什么你要这么难相处呢？他们不会拿针扎你了。”

“我不怕针头。”我咕哝着说道。“我只是害怕闭上眼睛。”

于是，他弯弯坏笑，用双手捧起我的脸：“我告诉过你，我不会去任何地方的。别害怕。只要这能让你快乐，我会一直待在这里。”

我报以一笑，不去理会脸颊上的隐隐作痛。“你在说永远，你知道的。”

“哦，你会克服的——这只是一见倾心的狂热。”

我难以置信地摇了摇头——这让我头晕眼花。“当蕾妮接受这个说法时我大吃一惊。我知道你了解得更清楚。”

“当人类实在是件美妙的事。”他告诉我。“事情会改变的。”

我的眼睛眯缝起来。“别屏住呼吸。”

他大笑起来，这时，护士走了进来，手里挥舞着一支注射器。

“打扰了。”她唐突地向爱德华说道。

他站了起来，穿过房间走到这间小屋子的另一头，倚在墙上。他把双臂交叠在胸前，等待着。我的目光一直停留在他身上，我依然惴惴不安着。他冷静地看着我的眼睛。

“你在这儿，甜心。”那个护士微笑着，把药物注射到我的软管里。“现在你会感觉好些的。”
“谢谢。”我毫无热情地低声说道。这没花多长时间。我能感觉到，睡意几乎是立刻就流淌在了我的血液之中。

“这是我应该做的。”当我的眼皮慢慢垂下来时，她低声说道。

她一定已经离开房间了，因为一个冰冷光滑的东西正触碰着我的脸。

“留下来。”这句话是那么的含糊。

“我会的。”他保证道。他的声音是那么的美妙，就像是催眠曲一样。“就像我说的，只要这能让你快乐……只要这对你来说是最好的。”

我试图摇头，但我的头太沉重了。“那不一样。”我喃喃低语着。
他笑出声来。“现在不用担心这个，贝拉。你可以等到你醒来的时候再跟我争论。”

我想我在微笑。

我能感觉到，他的唇落在了我的耳畔。

“我爱你，”他耳语着。

“我也是。”

“我知道。”他轻声笑了起来。

我稍稍转过头……搜寻着。他知道我在等着什么。他的唇温柔地吻上了我的唇。

“谢谢。”我叹了口气。

“不用谢。”

我真的要睡过去了。但我依然虚弱地和麻木感挣扎着。还有一件事我要告诉他。

“爱德华？”我挣扎着，清晰地拼出他的名字。

“嗯？”

“我和爱丽丝打赌了。”我喃喃低语着。

然后，黑夜淹没了我。
尾声一触即发

爱德华帮我坐进他的车里，非常小心地不去碰到那一束束的丝绸和薄纱，还有他刚刚插到我精心设计的卷发上的鲜花，以及我那庞大的行走纠正靴。他完全无视我唇上的怒色。

当他帮我坐好后，他坐上了驾驶座，然后把车倒出那条长长的狭窄的车道。

“要到哪一个特别的时刻你才会告诉我接下来要发生什么事？”我暴躁地问道。我真的讨厌惊喜。而他知道。

“让我震惊的是，你到现在还没想出来。”他冲我投来嘲弄的一笑，我的呼吸立刻卡在了喉咙里。我到底要到什么时候才能习惯他的完美呢？

“我没有提到你看上去很不错，对吧？”我求证道。

“是的。”他又是咧嘴一笑。我此前从没见过他穿黑色，这颜色与他苍白的肌肤形成了巨大的反差，他的美丽完全是超凡脱俗的。我没法否认这一点，即便是他穿着一套男式无尾晚礼服这个事实也已经让我很不安了。

不安不仅仅源于穿着。或是鞋子。我只穿着一只鞋子，因为我的另一只脚依然安全地包裹在石膏里。但那仅仅用彩色缎带缠绕起来的细细的鞋跟，显然是不会在我蹒跚而行时有任何帮助的。

“如果爱丽丝打算像刚才那样把我当芭比豚鼠一样打理的话，我就再也不会过来了。”我抱怨道。我把一天中最好的时光花在了爱丽丝那间大得惊人的浴室里，充当她扮演发型师和美容师时那个无助的受害者。每当我坐卧不安或是想要抱怨的时候，她都会提醒我她完全不记得她当人类时的事了，然后要求我不要毁掉她聊以代替的乐趣。然后她让我穿上了一条最荒谬的裙子——一件深蓝色的，镶满褶边的露肩礼服，上面标着我不认识的法国标签——一条更适合于T台走秀而非福克斯的裙子。我没法从我们的正式着装上猜出什么好事情来，这点我很肯定。除非……但我不敢把我的怀疑说出口，甚至不敢自己想一下。

当电话响起来的时候，我被分了神。爱德华把他的手机从他外套口袋里拿出去，简单地看了一眼来电显示，然后接通了电话。

“你好，查理。”他警惕地说道。
“查理？”我皱起眉。

在我回到福克斯以后，查理相当地……难过。对于我糟糕的经历，他有着两种泾渭分明的反应。一方面，他对卡莱尔充满了几近敬畏的感激。另一方面，他固执地坚信爱德华是罪魁祸首——因为，如果不是因为他，我最开始根本不会离开家。而爱德华对此再赞成不过了。这些日子以来，我被加以了一大堆此前从未出现过的规定：宵禁……访客时间。

查理说的某些事情让爱德华的眼睛因为难以置信而睁大了。然后他脸上露出了一个咧嘴一笑。

“你在开玩笑！”他大笑起来。

“怎么了？”我诘问道。

他不理我。“你为什么不让我跟他谈谈？”爱德华提议道，语气里充满了显而易见的愉快。他等待了几秒钟。

“你好，泰勒，我是爱德华.卡伦。”他的声音非常友好，表面上看是这样。我捕捉到了那一丝淡淡的威胁的痕迹，这足以让我很明白了。泰勒在我家做什么？我渐渐理解了这个恐怖的真相。我再次看向爱丽丝强迫我穿上的这件很不恰当的衣服。

“我很抱歉，这里大概有些误会，但贝拉今晚没空。”爱德华的语气变了，他声音里的威胁忽然变得明显起来，他继续说道。“我再诚恳不过地告诉你，她每天晚上都没空，对每个人都是这样，但我除外。我没有冒犯的意思。我为你今晚的事深感歉意。”他听起来没有半点歉意。然后他啪地一下关掉电话，脸上露出一个大大的咧嘴坏笑。

我的脸和脖子因为愤怒而变得绯红一片。我能感觉到盛怒带来的泪水正开始盈满我的眼眶。

他惊讶地看着我。“最后一段说得太过分了吗？我不是有意要冒犯你的。”

我不去理会他的话。

“你要带我去舞会！”我大叫起来。

现在这一切明显得令人难堪。如果我有稍微注意一下的话，我敢肯定我一点会留意到张贴在学校大楼上的海报的日期的。但我根本想象不到他在想着把我引向那里。他完全不认识我吗？

他完全没有预料的我的反应会如此强烈，这再明白不过了。他抿紧了唇，他的眼睛眯缝起来。“别自寻烦恼，贝拉。”

我的眼睛飞快地瞥向窗外，我们已经在去学校的半路上了。

“你为什么要让我做这？。”我震惊地诘问道。

他冲自己的晚礼服打了个手势。“老实说，贝拉，你认为我们在做什么？”

我被问住了。首先，因为我忽略了显而易见的事实。也因为那种模糊的疑虑——确切地说，是期待——我一整天都在盼望着，那时爱丽丝正试图把我变成一个漂亮的舞会皇后，这实在是个太明显的标志了。我半是害怕半是希望的想法现在显得很愚蠢。

我猜测过，这会是某种酝酿已久的场合。但舞会！这是我最不可能想到的事情。（这是离我的脑子最为遥远的事情。）

愤怒的泪水从我的脸颊上滚落下来。我惊慌地想起来，我正非同寻常地涂了睫毛膏。我飞快地在眼下擦拭着，避免留下任何污迹。当我把手拿开的时候，我的手并没有被染黑。也许爱丽丝知道我会需要防水的睫毛膏。

“这实在是太荒谬了。你为什么要哭呢？”他沮丧地诘问道。

“因为我疯了！”

“贝拉。”他全神贯注地用那双灼热的金色眼睛看着我。

“什么？”我喃喃低语着，被分了神。

“就当是为了我。”他坚持着。

他的眼睛让我所有的愤怒都消融了。当他像这样作弊的时候，我根本不可能跟他对抗。我用仅存的优雅姿势做出了让步。

“好吧。”我撅起嘴，这让我的瞪视变得没那么有效了。“我会安静地走下去的。但你会看到，我还有很多坏运气正等着兑现呢。我很可能会摔断另一条腿的。看看着鞋子！这简直是个危险的圈套！”我抬起自己那条好腿作为证据。

“哼。”他久久地盯着我的腿，远远超出必要的时间。“这提醒了我，得为今晚的事好好谢谢爱丽丝。”

“爱丽丝要来这里？”这让我稍微感到安慰。

“和贾斯帕一起，还有艾美特……和罗莎莉。”他坦白道。

那种安慰的感觉消失了。我跟罗莎莉的关系依然毫无改善，尽管我和她偶尔为之的丈夫相处得很不错。艾美特喜欢我在他附近——他觉得我那些奇特的人类反应很逗趣……也有可能是因为我老是摔倒的事实让他找到了许多乐趣。罗莎莉表现得就好像我根本不存在一样。当我摇着头，想要把我的思绪飘向的方向摇出脑海的时候，我想到了别的事情。

“查理也参与了这件事”我问道，忽然起了疑心。

“当然。”他咧嘴一笑，然后轻笑起来。“不过，很显然，泰勒没有参与进来。”

我咬紧了牙。我想象不出来，泰勒怎么能这么爱妄想。在学校里，查理根本干涉不到，所以爱德华和我简直形影不离——除了那些罕见的阳光灿烂的日子。

现在我们到了学校。罗莎莉那辆火红的敞篷车在停车场里格外显眼。今天的云层很稀薄，几缕阳光从云层里溜出来，落在遥远的西边。

他下了车，绕过车子，替我开了门。他伸出了。

我固执地坐在座位上，交叠着胳膊，感到一阵隐秘的装模作样的矜持带来的刺痛。停车场里挤满了穿着正装的人们，他们都是目击证人。他没法像我们独处时那样把我强行抱出车外。

他叹了口气。“当有人要杀你的时候，你勇敢得像头狮子——然后，当有人提到跳舞的时候……”他摇着头。

我吞咽了一下。跳舞。

“贝拉，我不会让任何东西伤害你的——哪怕是你自己。我一次都不会放开你的，我保证。”

我思考着这些，忽然感觉好些了。他能从我脸上看出来。

“你瞧，现在，”他温柔地说道。“这没那么糟。”他俯下身来，一只胳膊挽住我的腰。我抓住他另一只手，让他把我抱出车外。
他的胳膊紧紧地环绕着我，扶着我一瘸一拐地向学校走去。

在凤凰城的时候，他们都在酒店宴会厅里举行舞会。当然，这场舞会在体育馆里举行。这很有可能是镇上唯一一间大得能容纳一个舞会的房间。当我们走进去的时候，我吃吃地傻笑起来。这里有货真价实的气球拱门，还有用蜡光纸折成的花环装饰着墙面。

“看上去像一场惊悚电影正等着发生。”我窃笑着。

“好吧，”当我们慢慢地走向检票台时，他低声说道——他支撑着我大部分的体重，但我依然不得不拖着脚，摇摇晃晃地向前走着——“这里的吸血鬼多得足够了。”

我看着舞池：舞池正中形成了一条很宽的裂口，那里有两对情侣正在优雅地转着圈。另一对舞者正迫切地移向房间的另一侧，给他们留出空间——没有人想要站在这样耀眼的存在旁边，以免形成鲜明的对比。艾美特和贾斯帕都穿着经典款的晚礼服，看上去令人生畏，毫无瑕疵。爱丽丝穿着一条黑缎礼服，上面有着几何图形的镂空图案，露出大片的三角形的雪白的肌肤。然后罗莎莉……好吧，罗莎莉。她简直让人难以置信。她明艳的猩红色礼服是露背款式的，被她用一根闪亮的带褶边的小牛皮宽皮带紧紧地固定着，从脖子一直延伸到腰间。我怜悯地看着房间里的每一个女孩，包括我自己。

“你想要让我把门闩上，这样你们就能屠杀这些毫无戒心的镇民吗？”我阴险地低声说着。

“那你打算参与到这个计划的哪个部分？”他瞪着我。

“哦，我当然站在吸血鬼那边。”

他勉强笑了笑。“千方百计地想要逃离舞会。”

“千方百计。”

他买了我们两个的票，然后让我转向舞池。我缩进了他的怀抱，拖着脚走着。

“我有一整个晚上。”他警告道。

最终，他把我拖到了他的家人正优美地转着圈的地方——仿佛他们处在了一个与现在的时间和音乐完全不相符的时空中。我惊恐地看着。

“爱德华。”我的喉咙太干了，我只能用耳语说道。“我诚恳地说，我不会跳舞！”我能感觉到恐惧在我的胸膛里沸腾着。

“别担心，笨蛋。”他向我耳语道。“我会跳。”他把我的胳膊环绕在他的脖子上，然后把我抱起来，让我踩在他的脚上。

然后，我们一起旋转了起来。

“我感觉自己像是只有五岁。”在跳了几分钟毫不费力的华尔兹后，我大笑起来。

“你看上去不像五岁。”他低声说着，一度把我拉得更近些，这样我的脚离地面就有一英尺远了。

在一次转身时，爱丽丝捕捉到了我的目光，然后鼓励地笑了笑——我报以一笑。我惊讶地意识到自己真的很快乐……只是一点点。

“好吧，这只有一般糟。”我坦白道。

但爱德华正盯着门，他脸上写满了愤怒。

“怎么了？”我大声询问道。我追随着他的视线，因为旋转而失去了方向感，但最终我看到了困扰着他的事情。雅克布•布莱克，他没有穿晚礼服，只穿着一件长袖白恤衫，打着领带，他的头发被整齐地梳到后面，扎成了一个不同寻常的马尾。他正穿过舞池向我们走来。

在认出他的震惊过后，我情不自禁地为雅克布感到遗憾。他显然很不舒服——看上去是那么的痛苦。当他的眼睛对上我的凝视时，他脸上写满了歉意。

爱德华用极低的声音咆哮着。

“表现好些！”我嘘声说道。

爱德华听起来很受伤。“他想要和你聊一聊。”

然后，雅克布走到了我们跟前，他脸上的窘迫和歉意更加明显了。

“嗨，贝拉，我正希望你会在这里。”雅克布听起来像是期待着相反的事情。但他的笑容依然温暖如昔。

“嗨，雅克布。”我报以一笑。“怎么了？”

“我能插队吗？”他试探地说着，第一次瞥了一眼爱德华。我震惊地发现雅克布根本不必抬头看。在我第一次见到他以后，他一定长高了半英尺。

爱德华的脸很沉着，他毫无表情。他唯一的回答是小心翼翼地把我放下来，然后退后一步。

“谢谢，”雅克布亲切地答道。

爱德华只是点了点头，紧张地看着我，然后才转身走开。

雅克布把手放到我的腰上，我伸出手放到他的肩上。

“哇噢，杰克，你现在有多高？”

他自鸣得意地说道。“六英尺两英寸。”

我们并不是在跳舞——我的腿让跳舞成为不可能。我们只是笨拙地摇来摇去，根本没挪动脚。这也还好。他最近猛长的个子让他看上去既瘦长又不协调，他也许是个跟我一样蹩脚的舞者。

“那么，你今晚是怎么跑到这里来的？”我问道，并不是真的好奇。考虑到爱德华的反应，我能猜到。

“你能相信我爸爸花了二十块钱让我来参加你们的舞会吗？”他坦白道，稍微脸红了。

“是的，我能相信。”我低声说道。“好吧，至少，我希望你过得愉快。有遇到你喜欢的人吗？”我揶揄着，冲着像用蜡笔画的甜点一样排着队站在墙边的那堆女孩子点了点头。

“有啊，”他叹了口气，“但她被别人捷足先登了。”

他低下头，对上了我困惑的双眼，只看了一秒钟——然后我们都困窘地移开了视线。

“顺便说一句，你看上去很漂亮。”他羞涩地补充了一句。

“呃，谢谢。那么，比利为什么要花钱让你来这里呢？”我飞快地问道，尽管我知道答案。

雅克布看上去并不乐意改变话题。他看向别处，又开始不自在起来。“他说这是一个和你交谈的‘安全’的地方。我敢发誓那个老男人一定是昏了头了。”

我虚弱地加入他的大笑中。

“无论如何，他说如果我告诉你某件事，他就会帮我弄到我需要的那个主制动引擎。”他露出一个怯懦的咧嘴一笑，坦白交代道。

“那么，告诉我吧。我希望你能把你的车子攒完。”我也冲他咧嘴一笑。至少雅克布根本不相信这个。这让情形变得更容易些了。爱德华靠在墙上，一直看着我的脸，他自己脸上却毫无表情。我看到一个穿着粉红色裙子的二年级生用怯懦的侥幸的神情看着他，但他似乎根本没有注意到她。

雅克布又移开了视线，脸红了。“别抓狂，好吗？”

“我不会对你抓狂的，雅克布。”我向他保证道。“我甚至也不会对比利抓狂的。只要告诉我你要做的事就行。”

“嗯——这实在是太愚蠢了，对不起，贝拉——他想要你跟你男朋友分手。他要我告诉你，‘求你了。’”他厌恶地摇了摇头。

“他还是很迷信，嗯？”

“是的。他有点……当你在凤凰城受伤的时候，他有点反应过度了。他根本不相信……”雅克布自觉地吞掉了话尾。

我的眼睛眯缝起来。“我摔倒了。”

“我知道。”雅克布飞快地说道。

“他认为是爱德华做了什么，让你受了伤。”这不是个问句，而我也没有遵守自己的保证，我生气了。

雅克布不想对上我的视线。我们也不费事跟着音乐摇晃了。尽管他的手依然放在我的腰间，而我的手依然环绕着他的脖子。

“看，雅克布，我知道比利很可能根本不相信这个，但这正是你所知道的那样。”——现在他看着我，作为对我声音里的诚挚的回应——“爱德华真的救了我的性命。如果不是因为爱德华和他爸爸，我一定早就死了。”

“我知道。”他声明道，但他听起来像是被我诚挚的话语影响到了。至少，也许他能把比利说服到这种程度。

“嘿，我很抱歉，你得来做这种事情，雅克布。”我道歉道。“无论如何，你弄到你的零件里，对吧？”

“是啊，”他喃喃低语着。他看上去还是很尴尬……也很不安。

“还有吗？”我难以置信地问道。

“忘掉这件事吧。”他低声说道。“我会找份打工，然后自己存钱。”

我瞪着他，直到他对上我的视线为止。“说出来，雅克布。”

“那太糟了。”

“我不在乎。告诉我。”我坚持着。

“好吧……但是，耶稣，这听上去太糟了。”他摇着头。“他要我告诉你，不，警告你，说——还有，那是他的复数，不是我的”——他从我腰上移开一只手，在空气里画了一个小小的引号——“‘我们会一直看着。’”他小心地等待着我的反应。

这听起来像是黑手党电影里的一句台词。我大声笑了起来。

“对不起，让你不得不做这种事，杰克。”我窃笑着。

“我不那么介意。”他如释重负地咧嘴一笑。他的目光掠过我的裙子，审视着。“那么，我应该告诉他你说让他见鬼去吗？”他满怀希望地问道。

“不，”我叹了口气。“告示他我说谢谢。我知道他是出于好意。”

音乐结束了，我把胳膊放下来。

他的手在我的腰上迟疑着，他瞥了一眼我报废的腿。“你想再跳一曲吗？或者我能带你到别的地方去？”

爱德华替我作了回答。“好了，雅克布。我会带她走的。”

雅克布畏缩了一下，然后睁大眼睛盯着爱德华，他就站在我们身旁。

“嘿，我没看见你在那里。”他含糊地说着。“我猜我们待会儿见，贝拉。”他向后退去，不太情愿地挥着手。

我笑了。“是的，回见。”

当另一首舞曲开始的时候，爱德华的胳膊环绕着我。这对慢舞来说节奏有点快，但这似乎并没有难倒他。我把头靠在他胸口，感到心满意足。

“感觉好些了？”我揶揄着。

“完全没有。”他简单地答道。

“别对比利抓狂。”我叹了口气。“他只是因为查理的缘故才担心我。这不是什么人身攻击。”

“我没对比利抓狂。”他用一种紧绷的声音更正到。“但他的儿子很让我恼怒。”

我退回去看着他。他的神情非常严肃。

“为什么？”

“首先，他让我打破了我的承诺。”

我困惑地盯着他。

他半笑不笑地说：“我保证过，我今晚不会放开你的。”他解释道。

“哦。好吧，我原谅你。”

“谢谢。但还有别的一些事情。”爱德华皱起眉。

我耐心地等待着。

“他说你漂亮。”他最终继续说道，他的眉头皱得更深了。“对你现在的样子来说，这实在是一种侮辱。你远甚于美丽。”

我大笑起来。“你有偏见。”

“我不这样认为。另外，我有卓越的视力。”

我们又开始转圈了，我的脚踩上了他的脚，他把我抱得更紧了。

“那么，你打算解释这一切的原因了吗？”我问道。

他低下头，困惑地看着我，我意味深长地瞥了一眼那些卷绉纸。

他思考了片刻，然后改变了方向，带着我转着圈穿过人群，舞到体育馆的后门那里。我一眼看见了正在跳舞的杰西卡和迈克。他们都好奇地盯着我。杰西卡挥了挥手，我飞快地报以一笑。安吉拉也在那里，看上去一脸幸福地被小个子本.切尼抱在怀里。她的眼睛简直没法从他的目光里移开，他比她低了一个头。李和萨曼塔，劳伦，她正瞪着我，和科纳在一起。我能叫出旋转着从我面前经过的每一张脸。然后我们走出了门外，走到了正在消逝的日落的清冷的，黯淡的光线中。

一等到我们独处，他立刻把我抱在怀里，然后抱着我穿过黑暗的场地，一直走到笼罩在草莓树的阴影下的一张长凳处。他坐在那里。依然把我环抱在他胸前。月亮已经升起来了，透过薄纱般的云层隐约可见，他的脸在皎洁的月光下变得苍白起来。他的唇是那么坚硬，他的眼睛里写满了烦恼。

“重点是？”我柔和地催促着。

他不去理会我，抬起头盯着月亮。

“又是暮色。”他喃喃低语着。“又一次终结。不管这一天多么美好，它终究会结束的。”

“有些事不必结束。”我立刻紧张起来，咬紧牙关，喃喃低语着。

他叹了口气。

“我带你去参加舞会。”他慢慢地说道，最终回答了我的问题。“因为我不想要让你错过任何事情。我不想因为我的出现让你的生命有所缺憾，只要我能做到。我想要你当人类。我希望你的人生继续下去，如果我没有死在十九岁上，我的人生也会这样继续下去。”

我因为他的话而颤抖起来，然后愤怒地摇着头。“在怎样奇怪的平行空间里我才会出于自己的意愿跑去参加舞会呢？如果你不是一千倍地强于我，我永远都不会让你侥幸做到这一点的。”

他简单地笑了笑，但笑意并没有渗入他的眼底。“这没那么糟，你自己说的。”

“那是因为我和你在一起。”

我们安静了一分钟。他盯着月亮，而我盯着他。我希望我能找到办法来解释为什么我对正常人类的生命是那么的不感兴趣。

“你想要告诉我什么吗？”他问道，低下头看着我，淡淡地笑着。

“我不总是这样做吗？”

“你只要保证你会告诉我。”他坚持着，咧嘴一笑。

我知道我会立刻后悔的。“很好。”

“当你想出来我要把你带到这里来的时候，你看上去毫不掩饰自己的惊讶。”他开始了。

“我确实是。”我插嘴道。

“确实。”他赞同道。“但你一定还有别的一些理论……我很好奇——你以为我让你穿上盛装是为了什么？”

是的，我立刻就后悔了。我撅起嘴，踌躇着。“我不想告诉你。”

“你保证过的。”他反对道。

“我知道。”

“这有什么问题吗？”

我知道，他认为是尴尬让我退缩的。“我猜这一定会让你发疯的——或者悲伤。”

当他思索着这个想法的时候，他的额头皱在了一起。“我还是想要知道。求你了？”

我叹了口气。他等待着。

“嗯……我假定这是某种……场合。但我不认为那是某种平庸的人类活动……舞会！”嘲弄道。

“人类？”他冷淡地问道。他抓住了关键词。

我低下头看着自己的裙子，烦躁不安地抓起一片迷路的薄纱。他沉默地等待着。

“好吧。”我一吐为快。“我希望你也许已经改变心意了……你终于打算转变我了。”

许多情绪在他脸上一闪而过。有些我能辨认出来：愤怒……痛苦……然后他似乎控制住了自己，然后他的表情变得有趣起来。

“你以为这是某种隆重的场合，对吗？”他揶揄着，抚摩着他晚礼服外套的衣领。

我绷起脸，想要掩饰住自己的窘迫。“我不知道这些事情是怎么发生的。至少，对我来说，这比舞会要合理得多。”他依然咧嘴笑着。“这一点儿也不有趣。”我说道。

“不，你是对的，这一点儿也不有趣。”他赞同道，他的笑容消失了。“不过，与其相信你是认真的，我更愿意把这当成一个笑话。”

“但我是认真的。”

他深深地叹息着。“我知道。你真的那么情愿吗？”
痛苦的神情又回到了他的眼中。我咬住唇，点了点头。

“已经准备好结束了，”他喃喃低语着，几乎是在自言自语。“把这当成了你人生中的暮色，尽管你的人生才刚刚开始。你已经准备好了放弃一切。”

“这不是结束，这只是开始。”我低声表示不同意。

“我不值得你这样做。”他悲伤地说着。

“你还记得你告诉过我，我没有很清楚地看待自己吗？”我扬起眉毛，问道。“你显然有着同样的盲目。”

“我知道自己是什么。”

我叹了口气。

但他敏捷易变的心绪因我而改变了。他撅起唇，他的眼睛在刺探着。他久久地审视着我的脸。

“那么，你现在已经准备好了？”他问道。

“呃，”我吞咽了一下。“是的？”

他微笑着，然后慢慢地埋下头，直到他冰冷的唇轻轻扫过我颌角之下的肌肤。

“就是现在？”他耳语着，他冰冷的气息吹拂着我的肌肤。我无意识地颤抖起来。

“是的。”我耳语着，这样我的声音就没有机会破音了。如果他认为我只是在虚张声势，那他就要失望了。我确实已经做出了决定，而且我很确定。没关系的，尽管我的身体僵硬得像块木板，我的手蜷握成了拳头，我的呼吸很不稳定……

他阴暗地轻笑着，然后把身子移开了。他的神情真的很失望。

“你不应该相信我会如此轻易地作出让步。”他说着，嘲弄的语气里有一丝酸涩的味道。

“女孩可以做梦。”

他的眉毛扬起来。“这就是你梦寐以求的？成为一个怪物？”

“当然不是。”我说着，因为他所选择的词语而皱起了眉。怪物，的确。“我梦想得更多的是永远和你在一起。”

他的神情改变了，变得柔和起来，也因为我声音里那种微微的痛苦而悲伤起来。

“贝拉，”他的手指轻轻勾勒着我的唇形。“我会和你在一起——这还不够吗？”

我在他的指尖下微笑着。“现在是足够了。”

他因为我的固执而皱起眉。今晚没有人会让步。他呼了一口气，那声音听起来像是一声货真价实的咆哮。

我轻抚着他的脸。“看，”我说道。“我爱你，胜过这世界上的一切加起来的总和。这还不够吗？”

“是的，这足够了。”他微笑着，答道。“永永远远，都足够了。”

然后他俯下身来，再次把他冰冷的唇压到我的喉咙上。

[ 此帖被-　　半世流离°在2012-08-16 11:51重新编辑 ]

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等级: 内阁元老

配偶: 四和七

离开时才明白，真的只有一个人走。

举报只看该作者 24楼发表于: 2012-08-16 0

暮色英文版完结

24. AN IMPASSE

24. AN IMPASSE

My eyes opened to a bright, white light. I was in an unfamiliar room, a
white room. The wall beside me was covered in long vertical blinds; over
my head, the glaring lights blinded me. I was propped up on a hard,
uneven bed — a bed with rails. The pillows were flat and lumpy. There was
an annoying beeping sound somewhere close by. I hoped that meant I was
still alive. Death shouldn't be this uncomfortable.

My hands were all twisted up with clear tubes, and something was taped

across my face, under my nose. I lifted my hand to rip it off.

"No, you don't." And cool fingers caught my hand.

"Edward?" I turned my head slightly, and his exquisite face was just
inches from mine, his chin resting on the edge of my pillow. I realized
again that I was alive, this time with gratitude and elation. "Oh,
Edward, I'm so sorry!"

"Shhhh," he shushed me. "Everything's all right now."

"What happened?" I couldn't remember clearly, and my mind rebelled
against me as I tried to recall.

"I was almost too late. I could have been too late," he whispered, his
voice tormented.

"I was so stupid, Edward. I thought he had my mom."

"He tricked us all."

"I need to call Charlie and my mom," I realized through the haze.

"Alice called them. Renée is here — well, here in the hospital. She's
getting something to eat right now."

"She's here?" I tried to sit up, but the spinning in my head accelerated,
and his hand pushed me gently down onto the pillows.

"She'll be back soon," he promised. "And you need to stay still."

"But what did you tell her?" I panicked. I had no interest in being
soothed. My mom was here and I was recovering from a vampire attack. "Why
did you tell her I'm here?"

"You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window." He paused.
"You have to admit, it could happen."

I sighed, and it hurt. I stared down at my body under the sheet, the huge
lump that was my leg.

"How bad am I?" I asked.

"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull,
bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood.
They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it — it made you smell
all wrong for a while."

"That must have been a nice change for you."

"No, I like how you smell."

"How did you do it?" I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once.

"I'm not sure." He looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting my
gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in his, careful not
to disrupt the wire connecting me to one of the monitors.

I waited patiently for the rest.

He sighed without returning my gaze. "It was impossible… to stop," he
whispered. "Impossible. But I did." He looked up finally, with half a
smile. "I must love you."

"Don't I taste as good as I smell?" I smiled in response. That hurt my
face.

"Even better — better than I'd imagined."

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

He raised his eyes to the ceiling. "Of all the things to apologize for."

"What should I apologize for?"

"For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever."

"I'm sorry," I apologized again.

"I know why you did it." His voice was comforting. "It was still
irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have
told me."

"You wouldn't have let me go."

"No," he agreed in a grim tone, "I wouldn't."

Some very unpleasant memories were beginning to come back to me. I
shuddered, and then winced.

He was instantly anxious. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"What happened to James?"

"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him." There
was a fierce note of regret in his voice.

This confused me. "I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."

"They had to leave the room… there was a lot of blood."

"But you stayed."

"Yes, I stayed."

"And Alice, and Carlisle…" I said in wonder.

"They love you, too, you know."

A flash of painful images from the last time I'd seen Alice reminded me
of something. "Did Alice see the tape?" I asked anxiously.

"Yes." A new sound darkened his voice, a tone of sheer hatred.

"She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember."

"I know. She understands now." His voice was even, but his face was black
with fury.

I tried to reach his face with my free hand, but something stopped me. I
glanced down to see the IV pulling at my hand.

"Ugh." I winced.

"What is it?" he asked anxiously — distracted, but not enough. The
bleakness did not entirely leave his eyes.

"Needles," I explained, looking away from the one in my hand. I
concentrated on a warped ceiling tile and tried to breathe deeply despite
the ache in my ribs.

"Afraid of a needle," he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking
his head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death,
sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…"

I rolled my eyes. I was pleased to discover that this reaction, at least,
was pain-free. I decided to change the subject.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He stared at me, first confusion and then hurt touching his eyes. His
brows pulled together as he frowned. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" I protested, horrified by the thought. "No, I meant, why does my

mother think you're here? I need to have my story straight before she
gets back."

"Oh," he said, and his forehead smoothed back into marble. "I came to
Phoenix to talk some sense into you, to convince you to come back to
Forks." His wide eyes were so earnest and sincere, I almost believed him
myself. "You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was
staying with Carlisle and Alice — of course I was here with parental
supervision," he inserted virtuously, "but you tripped on the stairs on
the way to my room and… well, you know the rest. You don't need to
remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little
muddled about the finer points."

I thought about it for a moment. "There are a few flaws with that story.
Like no broken windows."

"Not really," he said. "Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating
evidence. It's all been taken care of very convincingly — you could
probably sue the hotel if you wanted to. You have nothing to worry
about," he promised, stroking my cheek with the lightest of touches.
"Your only job now is to heal."

I wasn't so lost to the soreness or the fog of medication that I didn't
respond to his touch. The beeping of the monitor jumped around
erratically — now he wasn't the only one who could hear my heart
misbehave.

"That's going to be embarrassing," I muttered to myself.

He chuckled, and a speculative look came into his eye. "Hmm, I wonder…"

He leaned in slowly; the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips
even touched me. But when they did, though with the most gentle of
pressure, the beeping stopped altogether.

He pulled back abruptly, his anxious expression turning to relief as the
monitor reported the restarting of my heart.

"It seems that I'm going to have to be even more careful with you than
usual." He frowned.

"I was not finished kissing you," I complained. "Don't make me come over
there."

He grinned, and bent to press his lips lightly to mine. The monitor went
wild.

But then his lips were taut. He pulled away.

"I think I hear your mother," he said, grinning again.

"Don't leave me," I cried, an irrational surge of panic flooding through
me. I couldn't let him go — he might disappear from me again.

He read the terror in my eyes for a short second. "I won't," he promised
solemnly, and then he smiled. "I'll take a nap."

He moved from the hard plastic chair by my side to the turquoise
faux-leather recliner at the foot of my bed, leaning it all the way back,
and closing his eyes. He was perfectly still.

"Don't forget to breathe," I whispered sarcastically. He took a deep
breath, his eyes still closed.

I could hear my mother now. She was talking to someone, maybe a nurse,
and she sounded tired and upset. I wanted to jump out of the bed and run
to her, to calm her, promise that everything was fine. But I wasn't in
any sort of shape for jumping, so I waited impatiently.

The door opened a crack, and she peeked through.

"Mom!" I whispered, my voice full of love and relief.

She took in Edward's still form on the recliner, and tiptoed to my
bedside.

"He never leaves, does he?" she mumbled to herself.

"Mom, I'm so glad to see you!"

She bent down to hug me gently, and I felt warm tears falling on my
cheeks.

"Bella, I was so upset!"

"I'm sorry, Mom. But everything's fine now, it's okay," I comforted her.

"I'm just glad to finally see your eyes open." She sat on the edge of my
bed.

I suddenly realized I didn't have any idea when it was. "How long have
they been closed?"

"It's Friday, hon, you've been out for a while."

"Friday?" I was shocked. I tried to remember what day it had been when…
but I didn't want to think about that.

"They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey — you've got a lot of
injuries."

"I know." I could feel them.

"You're lucky Dr. Cullen was there. He's such a nice man… very young,
though. And he looks more like a model than a doctor…"

"You met Carlisle?"

"And Edward's sister Alice. She's a lovely girl."

"She is," I agreed wholeheartedly.

She glanced over her shoulder at Edward, lying with his eyes closed in
the chair. "You didn't tell me you had such good friends in Forks."

I cringed, and then moaned.

"What hurts?" she demanded anxiously, turning back to me. Edward's eyes
flashed to my face.

"It's fine," I assured them. "I just have to remember not to move." He
lapsed back into his phony slumber.

I took advantage of my mother's momentary distraction to keep the subject
from returning to my less-than-candid behavior. "Where's Phil?" I asked
quickly.

"Florida — oh, Bella! You'll never guess! Just when we were about to
leave, the best news!"

"Phil got signed?" I guessed.

"Yes! How did you guess! The Suns, can you believe it?"

"That's great, Mom," I said as enthusiastically as I could manage, though
I had little idea what that meant.

"And you'll like Jacksonville so much," she gushed while I stared at her
vacantly. "I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about
Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the
cold, but now Jacksonville! It's always sunny, and the humidity really
isn't that bad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a
porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, and it's just a
few minutes from the ocean, and you'll have your own bathroom —"

"Wait, Mom!" I interrupted. Edward still had his eyes closed, but he
looked too tense to pass as asleep. "What are you talking about? I'm not
going to Florida. I live in Forks."

"But you don't have to anymore, silly," she laughed. "Phil will be able
to be around so much more now… we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm
going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half
the time with him."

"Mom." I hesitated, wondering how best to be diplomatic about this. "I
want to live in Forks. I'm already settled in at school, and I have a
couple of girlfriends" — she glanced toward Edward again when I reminded
her of friends, so I tried another direction — "and Charlie needs me.
He's just all alone up there, and he can't cook at all."

"You want to stay in Forks?" she asked, bewildered. The idea was
inconceivable to her. And then her eyes flickered back toward Edward.
"Why?"

"I told you — school, Charlie — ouch!" I'd shrugged. Not a good idea.

Her hands fluttered helplessly over me, trying to find a safe place to
pat. She made do with my forehead; it was unbandaged.

"Bella, honey, you hate Forks," she reminded me.

"It's not so bad."

She frowned and looked back and forth between Edward and me, this time
very deliberately.

"Is it this boy?" she whispered.

I opened my mouth to lie, but her eyes were scrutinizing my face, and I
knew she would see through that.

"He's part of it," I admitted. No need to confess how big a part. "So,
have you had a chance to talk with Edward?" I asked.

"Yes." She hesitated, looking at his perfectly still form. "And I want to
talk to you about that."

Uh-oh. "What about?" I asked.

"I think that boy is in love with you," she accused, keeping her voice
low.

"I think so, too," I confided.

"And how do you feel about him?" She only poorly concealed the raging
curiosity in her voice.

I sighed, looking away. As much as I loved my mom, this was not a
conversation I wanted to have with her. "I'm pretty crazy about him."
There — that sounded like something a teenager with her first boyfriend
might say.

"Well, he seems very nice, and, my goodness, he's incredibly
good-looking, but you're so young, Bella…" Her voice was unsure; as far
as I could remember, this was the first time since I was eight that she'd
come close to trying to sound like a parental authority. I recognized the
reasonable-but-firm tone of voice from talks I'd had with her about men.

"I know that, Mom. Don't worry about it. It's just a crush," I soothed
her.

"That's right," she agreed, easily pleased.

Then she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big, round
clock on the wall.

"Do you need to go?"

She bit her lip. "Phil's supposed to call in a little while… I didn't
know you were going to wake up…"

"No problem, Mom." I tried to tone down the relief so she wouldn't get
her feelings hurt. "I won't be alone."

"I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here, you know," she announced,
proud of herself.

"Oh, Mom, you don't have to do that! You can sleep at home — I'll never
notice." The swirl of painkillers in my brain was making it hard to
concentrate even now, though, apparently, I'd been sleeping for days.

"I was too nervous," she admitted sheepishly. "There's been some crime in
the neighborhood, and I don't like being there alone."

"Crime?" I asked in alarm.

"Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house
and burned it to the ground — there's nothing left at all! And they left
a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when you used to dance
there, honey?"

"I remember." I shivered, and winced.

"I can stay, baby, if you need me."

"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edward will be with me."

She looked like that might be why she wanted to stay. "I'll be back
tonight." It sounded as much like a warning as it sounded like a promise,
and she glanced at Edward again as she said it.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey, I
don't want to lose you."

Edward's eyes stayed closed, but a wide grin flashed across his face.

A nurse came bustling in then to check all my tubes and wires. My mother
kissed my forehead, patted my gauze-wrapped hand, and left.

The nurse was checking the paper readout on my heart monitor.

"Are you feeling anxious, honey? Your heart rate got a little high there."

"I'm fine," I assured her.

"I'll tell your RN that you're awake. She'll be in to see you in a
minute."

As soon as she closed the door, Edward was at my side.

"You stole a car?" I raised my eyebrows.

He smiled, unrepentant. "It was a good car, very fast."

"How was your nap?" I asked.

"Interesting." His eyes narrowed.

"What?"

He looked down while he answered. "I'm surprised. I thought Florida… and
your mother… well, I thought that's what you would want."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly. "But you'd be stuck inside all day in
Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night, just like a real
vampire."

He almost smiled, but not quite. And then his face was grave. "I would
stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it," he explained. "Someplace
where I couldn't hurt you anymore."

It didn't sink in at first. I continued to stare at him blankly as the
words one by one clicked into place in my head like a ghastly puzzle. I
was barely conscious of the sound of my heart accelerating, though, as my
breathing became hyperventilation, I was aware of the sharp aching in my
protesting ribs.

He didn't say anything; he watched my face warily as the pain that had
nothing to do with broken bones, pain that was infinitely worse,
threatened to crush me.

And then another nurse walked purposefully into the room. Edward sat
still as stone as she took in my expression with a practiced eye before
turning to the monitors.

"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?" she asked kindly, tapping the IV
feed.

"No, no," I mumbled, trying to keep the agony out of my voice. "I don't
need anything." I couldn't afford to close my eyes now.

"No need to be brave, honey. It's better if you don't get too stressed
out; you need to rest." She waited, but I just shook my head.

"Okay," she sighed. "Hit the call button when you're ready."

She gave Edward a stern look, and threw one more anxious glance at the
machinery, before leaving.

His cool hands were on my face; I stared at him with wild eyes.

"Shhh, Bella, calm down."

"Don't leave me," I begged in a broken voice.

"I won't," he promised. "Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate
you."

But my heart couldn't slow.

"Bella." He stroked my face anxiously. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be
right here as long as you need me."

"Do you swear you won't leave me?" I whispered. I tried to control the
gasping, at least. My ribs were throbbing.

He put his hands on either side of my face and brought his face close to
mine. His eyes were wide and serious. "I swear."

The smell of his breath was soothing. It seemed to ease the ache of my
breathing. He continued to hold my gaze while my body slowly relaxed and
the beeping returned to a normal pace. His eyes were dark, closer to
black than gold today.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yes," I said cautiously.

He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible. I thought I
picked out the word "overreaction."

"Why did you say that?" I whispered, trying to keep my voice from
shaking. "Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me
to go away?"

"No, I don't want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational.
And I have no problem with saving you, either — if it weren't for the
fact that I was the one putting you in danger… that I'm the reason that

you're here."

"Yes, you are the reason." I frowned. "The reason I'm here — alive."

"Barely." His voice was just a whisper. "Covered in gauze and plaster and
hardly able to move."

"I wasn't referring to my most recent near-death experience," I said,
growing irritated. "I was thinking of the others — you can take your
pick. If it weren't for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks
cemetery."

He winced at my words, but the haunted look didn't leave his eyes.

"That's not the worst part, though," he continued to whisper. He acted as
if I hadn't spoken. "Not seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and
broken." His voice was choked. "Not thinking I was too late. Not even
hearing you scream in pain — all those unbearable memories that I'll
carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling…
knowing that I couldn't stop. Believing that I was going to kill you
myself."

"But you didn't."

"I could have. So easily."

I knew I needed to stay calm… but he was trying to talk himself into
leaving me, and the panic fluttered in my lungs, trying to get out.

"Promise me," I whispered.

"What?"

"You know what." I was starting to get angry now. He was so stubbornly
determined to dwell on the negative.

He heard the change in my tone. His eyes tightened. "I don't seem to be
strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that you'll get your
way… whether it kills you or not," he added roughly.

"Good." He hadn't promised, though — a fact that I had not missed. The
panic was only barely contained; I had no strength left to control the
anger. "You told me how you stopped… now I want to know why," I demanded.

"Why?" he repeated warily.

"Why you did it. Why didn't you just let the venom spread? By now I would
be just like you."

Edward's eyes seemed to turn flat black, and I remembered that this was
something he'd never intended me to know. Alice must have been
preoccupied by the things she'd learned about herself… or she'd been very
careful with her thoughts around him — clearly, he'd had no idea that
she'd filled me in on the mechanics of vampire conversions. He was
surprised, and infuriated. His nostrils flared, his mouth looked as if it
was chiseled from stone.

He wasn't going to answer, that much was clear.

"I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with
relationships," I said. "But it just seems logical… a man and woman have
to be somewhat equal… as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and
saving the other one. They have to save each other equally."

He folded his arms on the side of my bed and rested his chin on his arms.
His expression was smooth, the anger reined in. Evidently he'd decided he
wasn't angry with me. I hoped I'd get a chance to warn Alice before he
caught up with her.

"You have saved me," he said quietly.

"I can't always be Lois Lane," I insisted. "I want to be Superman, too."

"You don't know what you're asking." His voice was soft; he stared
intently at the edge of the pillowcase.

"I think I do."

"Bella, you don't know. I've had almost ninety years to think about this,
and I'm still not sure."

"Do you wish that Carlisle hadn't saved you?"

"No, I don't wish that." He paused before continuing. "But my life was
over. I wasn't giving anything up."

"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose." I was
getting better at this. It was easy to admit how much I needed him.

He was very calm, though. Decided.

"I can't do it, Bella. I won't do that to you."

"Why not?" My throat rasped and the words weren't as loud as I'd meant
them to be. "Don't tell me it's too hard! After today, or I guess it was
a few days ago… anyway, after that, it should be nothing."

He glared at me.

"And the pain?" he asked.

I blanched. I couldn't help it. But I tried to keep my expression from
showing how clearly I remembered the feeling… the fire in my veins.

"That's my problem," I said. "I can handle it."

"It's possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity."

"It's not an issue. Three days. Big deal."

Edward grimaced again as my words reminded him that I was more informed
than he had ever intended me to be. I watched him repress the anger,
watched as his eyes grew speculative.

"Charlie?" he asked curtly. "Renée?"

Minutes passed in silence as I struggled to answer his question. I opened
my mouth, but no sound came out. I closed it again. He waited, and his
expression became triumphant because he knew I had no true answer.

"Look, that's not an issue either," I finally muttered; my voice was as
unconvincing as it always was when I lied. "Renée has always made the
choices that work for her — she'd want me to do the same. And Charlie's
resilient, he's used to being on his own. I can't take care of them
forever. I have my own life to live."

"Exactly," he snapped. "And I won't end it for you."

"If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I've got news for you! I
was just there!"

"You're going to recover," he reminded me.

I took a deep breath to calm myself, ignoring the spasm of pain it
triggered. I stared at him, and he stared back. There was no compromise
in his face.

"No," I said slowly. "I'm not."

His forehead creased. "Of course you are. You may have a scar or two…"

"You're wrong," I insisted. "I'm going to die."

"Really, Bella." He was anxious now. "You'll be out of here in a few

days. Two week at most."

I glared at him. "I may not die now… but I'm going to die sometime. Every
minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get old."

He frowned as what I was saying sunk in, pressing his long fingers to his
temples and closing his eyes. "That's how it's supposed to happen. How it
should happen. How it would have happened if I didn't exist — and I
shouldn't exist."

I snorted. He opened his eyes in surprise. "That's stupid. That's like
going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and
saying, 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be. It's better
that way.' And I'm not buying it."

"I'm hardly a lottery prize," he growled.

"That's right. You're much better."

He rolled his eyes and set his lips. "Bella, we're not having this
discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and
that's the end of it."

"If you think that's the end, then you don't know me very well," I warned
him. "You're not the only vampire I know."

His eyes went black again. "Alice wouldn't dare."

And for a moment he looked so frightening that I couldn't help but
believe it — I couldn't imagine someone brave enough to cross him.

"Alice already saw it, didn't she?" I guessed. "That's why the things she
says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like you… someday."

"She's wrong. She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either."

"You'll never catch me betting against Alice."

We stared at each other for a very long time. It was quiet except for the
whirring of the machines, the beeping, the dripping, the ticking of the
big clock on the wall. Finally, his expression softened.

"So where does that leave us?" I wondered.

He chuckled humorlessly. "I believe it's called an impasse."

I sighed. "Ouch," I muttered.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, eyeing the button for the nurse.

"I'm fine," I lied.

"I don't believe you," he said gently.

"I'm not going back to sleep."

"You need rest. All this arguing isn't good for you."

"So give in," I hinted.

"Nice try." He reached for the button.

"No!"

He ignored me.

"Yes?" the speaker on the wall squawked.

"I think we're ready for more pain medication," he said calmly, ignoring
my furious expression.

"I'll send in the nurse." The voice sounded very bored.

"I won't take it," I promised.

He looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside my bed. "I don't think
they're going to ask you to swallow anything."

My heart rate started to climb. He read the fear in my eyes, and sighed
in frustration.

"Bella, you're in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you
being so difficult? They're not going to put any more needles in you now."

"I'm not afraid of the needles," I mumbled. "I'm afraid to close my eyes."

Then he smiled his crooked smile, and took my face between his hands. "I
told you I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. As long as it makes you
happy, I'll be here."

I smiled back, ignoring the ache in my cheeks. "You're talking about
forever, you know."

"Oh, you'll get over it — it's just a crush."

I shook my head in disbelief— it made me dizzy. "I was shocked when Renée
swallowed that one. I know you know better."

"That's the beautiful thing about being human," he told me. "Things
change."

My eyes narrowed. "Don't hold your breath."

He was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe.

"Excuse me," she said brusquely to Edward.

He got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the
wall. He folded his arms and waited. I kept my eyes on him, still
apprehensive. He met my gaze calmly.

"Here you go, honey." The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into
my tube. "You'll feel better now."

"Thanks," I mumbled, unenthusiastic. It didn't take long. I could feel
the drowsiness trickling through my bloodstream almost immediately.

"That ought to do it," she muttered as my eyelids drooped.

She must have left the room, because something cold and smooth touched my
face.

"Stay." The word was slurred.

"I will," he promised. His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby. "Like I
said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it's what's best for you."

I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy. "'S not the same thing,"
I mumbled.

He laughed. "Don't worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me
when you wake up."

I think I smiled. '"Kay."

I could feel his lips at my ear.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Me, too."

"I know," he laughed quietly.

I turned my head slightly… searching. He knew what I was after. His lips

touched mine gently.

"Thanks," I sighed.

"Anytime."

I wasn't really there at all anymore. But I fought against the stupor
weakly. There was just one more thing I wanted to tell him.

"Edward?" I struggled to pronounce his name clearly.

"Yes?"

"I'm betting on Alice," I mumbled.

And then the night closed over me.

===========================================================================

EPILOGUE:AN OCCASION

Edward helped me into his car, being very careful of the wisps of silk
and chiffon, the flowers he'd just pinned into my elaborately styled
curls, and my bulky walking cast. He ignored the angry set of my mouth.

When he had me settled, he got in the driver's seat and headed back out
the long, narrow drive.

"At what point exactly are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked
grumpily. I really hated surprises. And he knew that.

"I'm shocked that you haven't figured it out yet." He threw a mocking
smile in my direction, and my breath caught in my throat. Would I ever
get used to his perfection?

"I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" I verified.

"Yes." He grinned again. I'd never seen him dress in black before, and,
with the contrast against his pale skin, his beauty was absolutely
surreal. That much I couldn't deny, even if the fact that he was wearing
a tuxedo made me very nervous.

Not quite as nervous as the dress. Or the shoe. Only one shoe, as my
other foot was still securely encased in plaster. But the stiletto heel,
held on only by satin ribbons, certainly wasn't going to help me as I
tried to hobble around.

"I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea
Pig Barbie when I do," I griped. I'd spent the better part of the day in
Alice's staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played
hairdresser and cosmetician. Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she
reminded me that she didn't have any memories of being human, and asked
me not to ruin her vicarious fun. Then she'd dressed me in the most
ridiculous dress — deep blue, frilly and off the shoulders, with French
tags I couldn't read — a dress more suitable for a runway than Forks.
Nothing good could come of our formal attire, of that I was sure. Unless…
but I was afraid to put my suspicions into words, even in my own head.

I was distracted then by the sound of a phone ringing. Edward pulled his
cell phone from a pocket inside his jacket, looking briefly at the caller
ID before answering.

"Hello, Charlie," he said warily.

"Charlie?" I frowned.

Charlie had been… difficult since my return to Forks. He had

compartmentalized my bad experience into two defined reactions. Toward
Carlisle he was almost worshipfully grateful. On the other hand, he was
stubbornly convinced that Edward was at fault — because, if not for him,
I wouldn't have left home in the first place. And Edward was far from
disagreeing with him. These days I had rules that hadn't existed before:
curfews… visiting hours.

Something Charlie was saying made Edward's eyes widen in disbelief, and
then a grin spread across his face.

"You're kidding!" He laughed.

"What is it?" I demanded.

He ignored me. "Why don't you let me talk to him?" Edward suggested with
evident pleasure. He waited for a few seconds.

"Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen." His voice was very friendly, on
the surface. I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace. What
was Tyler doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me. I
looked again at the inappropriate dress Alice had forced me into.

"I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is
unavailable tonight." Edward's tone changed, and the threat in his voice
was suddenly much more evident as he continued. "To be perfectly honest,
she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is
concerned. No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening." He didn't sound
sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his
face.

My face and neck flushed crimson with anger. I could feel the
rage-induced tears starting to fill my eyes.

He looked at me in surprise. "Was that last part a bit too much? I didn't
mean to offend you."

I ignored that.

"You're taking me to the prom!" I yelled.

It was embarrassingly obvious now. If I'd been paying any attention at
all, I'm sure I would have noticed the date on the posters that decorated
the school buildings. But I'd never dreamed he was thinking of subjecting
me to this. Didn't he know me at all?

He wasn't expecting the force of my reaction, that was clear. He pressed
his lips together and his eyes narrowed. "Don't be difficult, Bella."

My eyes flashed to the window; we were halfway to the school already.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I demanded in horror.

He gestured to his tuxedo. "Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were
doing?"

I was mortified. First, because I'd missed the obvious. And also because
the vague suspicions — expectations, really — that I'd been forming all
day, as Alice tried to transform me into a beauty queen, were so far wide
of the mark. My half-fearful hopes seemed very silly now.

I'd guessed there was some kind of occasion brewing. But prom! That was
the furthest thing from my mind.

The angry tears rolled over my cheeks. I remembered with dismay that I
was very uncharacteristically wearing mascara. I wiped quickly under my
eyes to prevent any smudges. My hand was unblackened when I pulled it
away; maybe Alice had known I would need waterproof makeup.

"This is completely ridiculous. Why are you crying?" he demanded in
frustration.

"Because I'm mad!"

"Bella." He turned the full force of his scorching golden eyes on me.

"What?" I muttered, distracted.

"Humor me," he insisted.

His eyes were melting all my fury. It was impossible to fight with him
when he cheated like that. I gave in with poor grace.

"Fine," I pouted, unable to glare as effectively as I would have liked.
"I'll go quietly. But you'll see. I'm way overdue for more bad luck. I'll
probably break my other leg. Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!" I
held out my good leg as evidence.

"Hmmm." He stared at my leg longer than was necessary. "Remind me to
thank Alice for that tonight."

"Alice is going to be there?" That comforted me slightly.

"With Jasper, and Emmett… and Rosalie," he admitted.

The feeling of comfort disappeared. There had been no progress with
Rosalie, though I was on quite good terms with her sometimes-husband.
Emmett enjoyed having me around — he thought my bizarre human reactions
were hilarious… or maybe it was just the fact that I fell down a lot that
he found so funny. Rosalie acted as if I didn't exist. While I shook my
head to dispel the direction my thoughts had taken, I thought of
something else.

"Is Charlie in on this?" I asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Of course." He grinned, and then chuckled. "Apparently Tyler wasn't,
though."

I gritted my teeth. How Tyler could be so delusional, I couldn't imagine.
At school, where Charlie couldn't interfere, Edward and I were
inseparable — except for those rare sunny days.

We were at the school now; Rosalie's red convertible was conspicuous in
the parking lot. The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight
escaping through far away in the west.

He got out and walked around the car to open my door. He held out his
hand.

I sat stubbornly in my seat, arms folded, feeling a secret twinge of
smugness. The lot was crowded with people in formal dress: witnesses. He
couldn't remove me forcibly from the car as he might have if we'd been
alone.

He sighed. "When someone wants to kill you, you're brave as a lion — and
then when someone mentions dancing…" He shook his head.

I gulped. Dancing.

"Bella, I won't let anything hurt you — not even yourself. I won't let go
of you once, I promise."

I thought about that and suddenly felt much better. He could see that in
my face.

"There, now," he said gently, "it won't be so bad." He leaned down and
wrapped one arm around my waist. I took his other hand and let him lift
me from the car.

He kept his arm tightly around me, supporting me as I limped toward the
school.

In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the
gym, of course. It was probably the only room in town big enough for a
dance. When we got inside, I giggled. There were actual balloon arches

and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls.

"This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen," I snickered.

"Well," he muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table — he was
carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet
forward — "there are more than enough vampires present."

I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the
floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to
the sides of the room to give them space — no one wanted to stand in
contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and
flawless in classic tuxedos. Alice was striking in a black satin dress
with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white
skin. And Rosalie was… well, Rosalie. She was beyond belief. Her vivid
scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a
wide ruffled train, with a neckline that plunged to her waist. I pitied
every girl in the room, myself included.

"Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting
townsfolk?" I whispered conspiratorially.

"And where do you fit into that scheme?" He glared.

"Oh, I'm with the vampires, of course."

He smiled reluctantly. "Anything to get out of dancing."

"Anything."

He bought our tickets, then turned me toward the dance floor. I cringed
against his arm and dragged my feet.

"I've got all night," he warned.

Eventually he towed me out to where his family was twirling elegantly —
if in a style totally unsuitable to the present time and music. I watched
in horror.

"Edward." My throat was so dry I could only manage a whisper. "I honestly
can't dance!" I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest.

"Don't worry, silly," he whispered back. "I can." He put my arms around
his neck and lifted me to slide his feet under mine.

And then we were whirling, too.

"I feel like I'm five years old," I laughed after a few minutes of
effortless waltzing.

"You don't look five," he murmured, pulling me closer for a second, so
that my feet were briefly a foot from the ground.

Alice caught my eye on a turn and smiled in encouragement — I smiled
back. I was surprised to realize that I was actually enjoying myself… a
little.

"Okay, this isn't half bad," I admitted.

But Edward was staring toward the doors, and his face was angry.

"What is it?" I wondered aloud. I followed his gaze, disoriented by the
spinning, but finally I could see what was bothering him. Jacob Black,
not in a tux, but in a long-sleeved white shirt and tie, his hair
smoothed back into his usual ponytail, was crossing the floor toward us.

After the first shock of recognition, I couldn't help but feel bad for
Jacob. He was clearly uncomfortable — excruciatingly so. His face was
apologetic as his eyes met mine.

Edward snarled very quietly.

"Behave!" I hissed.

Edward's voice was scathing. "He wants to chat with you."

Jacob reached us then, the embarrassment and apology even more evident on
his face.

"Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here." Jacob sounded like he'd
been hoping the exact opposite. But his smile was just as warm as ever.

"Hi, Jacob." I smiled back. "What's up?"

"Can I cut in?" he asked tentatively, glancing at Edward for the first
time. I was shocked to notice that Jacob didn't have to look up. He must
have grown half a foot since the first time I'd seen him.

Edward's face was composed, his expression blank. His only answer was to
set me carefully on my feet, and take a step back.

"Thanks," Jacob said amiably.

Edward just nodded, looking at me intently before he turned to walk away.

Jacob put his hands on my waist, and I reached up to put my hands on his
shoulders.

"Wow, Jake, how tall are you now?"

He was smug. "Six-two."

We weren't really dancing — my leg made that impossible. Instead we
swayed awkwardly from side to side without moving our feet. It was just
as well; the recent growth spurt had left him looking gangly and
uncoordinated, he was probably no better a dancer than I was.

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" I asked without true curiosity.
Considering Edward's reaction, I could guess.

"Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom?" he
admitted, slightly ashamed.

"Yes, I can," I muttered. "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at
least. Seen anything you like?" I teased, nodding toward a group of girls
lined up against the wall like pastel confections.

"Yeah," he sighed. "But she's taken."

He glanced down to meet my curious gaze for just a second — then we both
looked away, embarrassed.

"You look really pretty, by the way," he added shyly.

"Um, thanks. So why did Billy pay you to come here?" I asked quickly,
though I knew the answer.

Jacob didn't seem grateful for the subject change; he looked away,
uncomfortable again. "He said it was a 'safe' place to talk to you. I
swear the old man is losing his mind."

I joined in his laughter weakly.

"Anyway, he said that if I told you something, he would get me that
master cylinder I need," he confessed with a sheepish grin.

"Tell me, then. I want you to get your car finished." I grinned back. At
least Jacob didn't believe any of this. It made the situation a bit
easier. Against the wall, Edward was watching my face, his own face
expressionless. I saw a sophomore in a pink dress eyeing him with timid
speculation, but he didn't seem to be aware of her.

Jacob looked away again, ashamed. "Don't get mad, okay?"

"There's no way I'll be mad at you, Jacob," I assured him. "I won't even
be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to."

"Well — this is so stupid, I'm sorry, Bella — he wants you to break up
with your boyfriend. He asked me to tell you 'please.'" He shook his head
in disgust.

"He's still superstitious, eh?"

"Yeah. He was… kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix. He
didn't believe…"Jacob trailed off self-consciously.

My eyes narrowed. "I fell."

"I know that," Jacob said quickly.

"He thinks Edward had something to do with me getting hurt." It wasn't a
question, and despite my promise, I was angry.

Jacob wouldn't meet my eyes. We weren't even bothering to sway to the
music, though his hands were still on my waist, and mine around his neck.

"Look, Jacob, I know Billy probably won't believe this, but just so you
know" — he looked at me now, responding to the new earnestness in my
voice — "Edward really did save my life. If it weren't for Edward and his
father, I'd be dead."

"I know," he claimed, but he sounded like my sincere words had affected
him some. Maybe he'd be able to convince Billy of this much, at least.

"Hey, I'm sorry you had to come do this, Jacob," I apologized. "At any
rate, you get your parts, right?"

"Yeah," he muttered. He was still looking awkward… upset.

"There's more?" I asked in disbelief.

"Forget it," he mumbled, "I'll get a job and save the money myself."

I glared at him until he met my gaze. "Just spit it out, Jacob."

"It's so bad."

"I don't care. Tell me," I insisted.

"Okay… but, geez, this sounds bad." He shook his head. "He said to tell
you, no, to warn you, that — and this is his plural, not mine" — he
lifted one hand from my waist and made little quotations marks in the air
— '"We'll be watching.'" He watched warily for my reaction.

It sounded like something from a mafia movie. I laughed out loud.

"Sorry you had to do this, Jake," I snickered.

"I don't mind that much." He grinned in relief. His eyes were appraising
as they raked quickly over my dress. "So, should I tell him you said to
butt the hell out?" he asked hopefully.

"No," I sighed. "Tell him I said thanks. I know he means well."

The song ended, and I dropped my arms.

His hands hesitated at my waist, and he glanced at my bum leg. "Do you
want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?"

Edward answered for me. "That's all right, Jacob. I'll take it from here."

Jacob flinched, and stared wide-eyed at Edward, who stood just beside us.

"Hey, I didn't see you there," he mumbled. "I guess I'll see you around,
Bella." He stepped back, waving halfheartedly.

I smiled. "Yeah, I'll see you later."

"Sorry," he said again before he turned for the door.

Edward's arms wound around me as the next song started. It was a little
up-tempo for slow dancing, but that didn't seem to concern him. I leaned
my head against his chest, content.

"Feeling better?" I teased.

"Not really," he said tersely.

"Don't be mad at Billy," I sighed. "He just worries about me for
Charlie's sake. It's nothing personal."

"I'm not mad at Billy," he corrected in a clipped voice. "But his son is
irritating me."

I pulled back to look at him. His face was very serious.

"Why?"

"First of all, he made me break my promise."

I stared at him in confusion.

He half-smiled. "I promised I wouldn't let go of you tonight," he
explained.

"Oh. Well, I forgive you."

"Thanks. But there's something else." Edward frowned.

I waited patiently.

"He called you pretty," he finally continued, his frown deepening.
"That's practically an insult, the way you look right now. You're much
more than beautiful."

I laughed. "You might be a little biased."

"I don't think that's it. Besides, I have excellent eyesight."

We were twirling again, my feet on his as he held me close.

"So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?" I wondered.

He looked down at me, confused, and I glared meaningfully at the crepe
paper.

He considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning me
through the crowd to the back door of the gym. I caught a glimpse of
Jessica and Mike dancing, staring at me curiously. Jessica waved, and I
smiled back quickly. Angela was there, too, looking blissfully happy in
the arms of little Ben Cheney; she didn't look up from his eyes, a head
lower than hers. Lee and Samantha, Lauren, glaring toward us, with
Conner; I could name every face that spiraled past me. And then we were
outdoors, in the cool, dim light of a fading sunset.

As soon as we were alone, he swung me up into his arms, and carried me
across the dark grounds till he reached the bench beneath the shadow of
the madrone trees. He sat there, keeping me cradled against his chest.
The moon was already up, visible through the gauzy clouds, and his face
glowed pale in the white light. His mouth was hard, his eyes troubled.

"The point?" I prompted softly.

He ignored me, staring up at the moon.

"Twilight, again," he murmured. "Another ending. No matter how perfect
the day is, it always has to end."

"Some things don't have to end," I muttered through my teeth, instantly
tense.

He sighed.

"I brought you to the prom," he said slowly, finally answering my
question, "because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my
presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to
be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died in
nineteen-eighteen like I should have."

I shuddered at his words, and then shook my head angrily. "In what
strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free
will? If you weren't a thousand times stronger than me, I would never
have let you get away with this."

He smiled briefly, but it didn't touch his eyes. "It wasn't so bad, you
said so yourself."

"That's because I was with you."

We were quiet for a minute; he stared at the moon and I stared at him. I
wished there was some way to explain how very uninterested I was in a
normal human life.

"Will you tell me something?" he asked, glancing down at me with a slight
smile.

"Don't I always?"

"Just promise you'll tell me," he insisted, grinning.

I knew I was going to regret this almost instantly. "Fine."

"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you
here," he began.

"I was," I interjected.

"Exactly," he agreed. "But you must have had some other theory… I'm
curious — what did you think I was dressing you up for?"

Yes, instant regret. I pursed my lips, hesitating. "I don't want to tell
you."

"You promised," he objected.

"I know."

"What's the problem?"

I knew he thought it was mere embarrassment holding me back. "I think it
will make you mad — or sad."

His brows pulled together over his eyes as he thought that through. "I
still want to know. Please?"

I sighed. He waited.

"Well… I assumed it was some kind of… occasion. But I didn't think it
would be some trite human thing… prom!" I scoffed.

"Human?" he asked flatly. He'd picked up on the key word.

I looked down at my dress, fidgeting with a stray piece of chiffon. He
waited in silence.

"Okay," I confessed in a rush. "So I was hoping that you might have
changed your mind… that you were going to change me, after all."

A dozen emotions played across his face. Some I recognized: anger… pain…
and then he seemed to collect himself and his expression became amused.

"You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?" he teased,
touching the lapel of his tuxedo jacket.

I scowled to hide my embarrassment. "I don't know how these things work.
To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does." He was still
grinning. "It's not funny," I said.

"No, you're right, it's not," he agreed, his smile fading. "I'd rather
treat it like a joke, though, than believe you're serious."

"But I am serious."

He sighed deeply. "I know. And you're really that willing?"

The pain was back in his eyes. I bit my lip and nodded.

"So ready for this to be the end," he murmured, almost to himself, "for
this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely
started. You're ready to give up everything."

"It's not the end, it's the beginning," I disagreed under my breath.

"I'm not worth it," he said sadly.

"Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?"
I asked, raising my eyebrows. "You obviously have the same blindness."

"I know what I am."

I sighed.

But his mercurial mood shifted on me. He pursed his lips, and his eyes
were probing. He examined my face for a long moment.

"You're ready now, then?" he asked.

"Um." I gulped. "Yes?"

He smiled, and inclined his head slowly until his cold lips brushed
against the skin just under the corner of my jaw.

"Right now?" he whispered, his breath blowing cool on my neck. I shivered
involuntarily.

"Yes," I whispered, so my voice wouldn't have a chance to break. If he
thought I was bluffing, he was going to be disappointed. I'd already made
this decision, and I was sure. It didn't matter that my body was rigid as
a plank, my hands balled into fists, my breathing erratic…

He chuckled darkly, and leaned away. His face did look disappointed.

"You can't really believe that I would give in so easily," he said with a
sour edge to his mocking tone.

"A girl can dream."

His eyebrows rose. "Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?"

"Not exactly," I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed.
"Mostly I dream about being with you forever."

His expression changed, softened and saddened by the subtle ache in my
voice.

"Bella." His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips. "I will stay
with you — isn't that enough?"

I smiled under his fingertips. "Enough for now."

He frowned at my tenacity. No one was going to surrender tonight. He
exhaled, and the sound was practically a growl.

I touched his face. "Look," I said. "I love you more than everything else
in the world combined. Isn't that enough?"

"Yes, it is enough," he answered, smiling. "Enough for forever."

And he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat.

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