Losing You
I’ve just come back from school, and I’m on my computer already! I could do anything to distract myself from your thoughts… I could read a book, do my homework or even have lunch.
But I just don’t want to. Because right now, all I really want to do is think about you. Think about the memories we made. Together. Or when we were apart. I knew I had you… and now I know that I don’t.
Our memories… that’s all I’m really left with. Remember the day when we first met and how I annoyed you with my not-so-funny jokes, and how you pretended to laugh at them? And the day when we had our first biggest fight and how you gave me a card that said “Open this envelope with a smile because today is a special day for you” on my birthday? And how that made us friends again? You’d made my day, really.
My chest hurts. It feels so empty.
I love us. I love everything about us. Everything. And I never wanted this to end. I hate seeing you go away. I just wish I could stop you somehow and tell you how much I need you here. With me forever. But that would be selfish.
Yesterday, I died a little inside when you said you’d be leaving at 10 pm for your flight. And I was just like,” Wow, so you really ARE leaving us.”
But I can’t help it, can I? Neither can you. I just realized how much I hated goodbyes. I don’t want to ‘goodbye’ you.
The truth is, I’ve never been open to many people. I’ve been shy and quiet. So if I loved you enough to tell you all my secrets and show you the real me… you must be very special.
I regret everything I’ve said or done to hurt you. I’m sorry. I never meant to do those things to you.
No matter the distance between us, no matter where you are, or where I am…I will always love you. And I just hope you love me too. Just for me, make sure Canada treats you better than we did.
You’re my best friend; you’ll always be my best friend. You’re my best friend for life.
You’re taking away eight years of my life with you. You’re the only person who actually got me, who could tell when I was upset, who knew how to make me feel better... and now that person is going away.
Will you just do me a favor? Just promise me one thing, okay? Promise me that you will never forget about me. That you will always remember that you had a friend named Harshita.
And that’s all I want you to do.
难说再见
我刚刚放学回家，就已经坐在了电脑前面！任何事情都能把我从对你的思念中拉回来……我可以找本书看、做作业或是吃午饭。
但我并不想这样，因为此时此刻，我真正想做的事情就是想着你。想着我们共同的回忆，既有在一起的记忆，也有分开时的记忆。我知道你曾经是我的好友……而现在我也清楚这一切已一去不复返。
我们的回忆……这是你留给我的全部了。你是否还记得我们第一次见面的那天，我跟你讲了一些并不好笑的笑话，你虽然有些烦，但还是装作大笑的样子？你是否还记得那天我们第一次大吵了一架，我生日时你给了我一张贺卡，上面写道“请微笑着打开这个信封，因为今天对你来说是个特殊的日子”？你是否还记得那张贺卡让我们重新成为朋友？你让我的生日与众不同，真的。
我的心好疼，感觉空空的。
我喜欢我俩在一起的时候。我喜欢关于我俩的一切。所有的一切。我从没想过要让这一切结束。我不想看着你离去。我多么想找个借口阻止你离开，告诉你我有多需要你。只想让你和我在一起。但是这样太自私了。
昨天，当你告诉我说，你要搭晚上十点的航班离开时，我的心好像有一小部分已经死去了。我当时只是说，“哦，你果真要离开我们了。”
然而对此我却无能为力，不是么？你也无法改变这一切。我才意识到我多么讨厌说再见，不想跟你说“再见”。
事实上，我并不是对所有人都能敞开心扉。我一直都很害羞、安静。因此，如果我喜欢你到告诉你我所有的秘密，并向你袒露真实的自我时……那你一定是个非常特殊的朋友了。
我很后悔说了什么或做了什么而伤害了你。对不起，我从没想过要那样对你。
无论相隔多远，无论你身在何方，无论我在哪个角落……我会一直爱着你。我只希望你也同样爱着我。答应我，在加拿大要过得好好的，要比和我们在一起的时候过得更好。你是我最好的朋友，将来一直都会是。你是我一生最好的朋友。
你带走了我生命中的八年时光。你是唯一一个能够理解我，知道什么时候我很烦躁，知道如何安慰我的朋友……而现在，你走了。
你能帮我一个忙吗？答应我一件事，好吗？答应永远不要忘记我。你要永远记得你有一个朋友叫哈什塔。
这就是我对你的所有要求。
